Prophecy of the Star

by Vallhart

"Behold the Star of an unknown sky, its light may bring ruination surpassing the Witch, or lead to salvation for all it shines upon." Subaru dreamt of being special. Confronted with a world where his arrival is expected—where the Dragon gives a prophecy, just for him, how would this dream unfold? And how would those holding ambitions further their own goals with this knowledge?

8. Of Burning Hell and Fleeting Heaven

"You ready to go?" she asked with a mischievous smile on her lips.

After his rough awakening from the last loop—as he had come to name them—Subaru once more found himself in the Astrea estate. Where shortly after, Felt appeared, leading to the inevitable question.

But instead of being filled with dread, having to descend into the slums once more, he felt relief. Relief that Felt's words of hatred had disappeared, and her eyes held a playful sparkle once more. And of course, that his many mistakes from before were erased as well.

Now, this of course is not what Subaru would have desired—given the choice of death to undo his errors or escaping the falling roof and living on, he would have chosen the latter, avoiding the haunting effects and immense pain of dying and returning. But now that he had already returned by death, what else was there left to do?

It's not like he'd voluntarily shirk away from the responsibility for his actions… right? Even if his mistakes were no more to others, he'd still have to keep them in mind—for he still remembered them. He'd know how some actions of his could turn out, inevitably resulting in his past loop's failings. Now he'd just need to avoid making the same mistakes, and strive to do better.

After all, she said I could… "I just thought that maybe you'd do better"… I will. I didn't want to disappoint anyone. And I certainly neither want to see you nor Felt look at me like that again.

But he also couldn't face her yet. Not only because Felt wanted to go to the city and that would have delayed things, but also because the shock from the previous loop had not completely subsided.

Despite her obvious anger, Emilia-tan stayed. She wanted to believe in me… so I won't disappoint her. Anyone. I'll just have to be quicker than them. Without endangering anyone. I can do better, just have to try harder. That way I'll be able to do it!

Holding fast to his desires, he convinced himself that it was still possible. That it only needs more effort from his side. Avoiding the slums wasn't the solution, and neither was lying. No, he would just need to press forward, fulfill all expectations, and he could do it all by himself. It was his fault, after all.

So he forced himself to smile contently as he crouched behind Felt, sneaking past the servants that were reset to being oblivious to their scheme. It was important that they could advance as quickly as possible, because—

"Felt," he said in a serious voice, just as they had left the estate without being noticed. "We should hurry, and reach your grandpa as quickly as we can!"

The sudden tension startled Felt, leaving her to look at him with a questioning glance. "And why's that? I thought we could hang around the city first a bit, since we've been stuck at Reinhard's for days."

But Subaru shook his head. "I've heard there's quite some trouble in the city." Well, he could hardly say he knew or experienced it, but it was true nonetheless. "So let's stick to what we set out for first."

While he waited on Felt, he had sorted out his thoughts. Avoiding the slums would lead to her grandpa's death. And even though he didn't know him… it certainly didn't sit right with him to just let that happen. Especially since the only reason Felt wouldn't head out to the slums would be through his interference… and even that was meaningless, as she'd manage to escape anyway.

So he opted for the other way—going as quickly as possible. Not giving the thugs any time to act, warn her grandpa, and escape the slums before they would even have noticed them. That way he could have it all. Not disappoint Felt, avoid lying, warn Felt's grandpa, and escape the thugs. He just had to try harder, and could that way avoid disappointing anyone.

At first, she wanted to object, surely having the desire to breathe in some fresh air and stroll around the market district for some time, but upon seeing his determined gaze, she eventually shrugged. "Fine, if you really want to?" she said, though not without a probing undertone. "Don't see why we'd need to rush that much, but I don't mind seeing granpa first."

With that, the first obstacle had been moved out of the way, and Subaru felt relieved once more. His new plan relied first and foremost on speed—making even his normal walking more akin to a marsh.

"Might as well just run at this point, you know?" Felt said, having trouble keeping up with his pace, as he pressed through the merchant district, not paying any attention to the troubles of the people around him—or their reactions upon being pushed away.

Right now he only focused on the task at hand, to the detriment of anything else. "This time it'll work, I'm sure…," he mumbled inaudibly, having set his sights straight on the slums.

Though there was one thing he couldn't pass by just like that—for a distant memory flared up, as he even considered it.

"Halt!" the guard called, stopping the approaching duo. It's dangerous down there right now." Once more the guardsman stood in their path, trying to prevent them from entering the slums.

Subaru hesitated. He could vividly remember how the last attempt to push past a guard had ended—with him bleeding out, having accomplished nothing, and not even knowing why he had to die in such a way.

Noticing his hesitation, Felt continued. "And why's that? The slums have never been safe to begin with," she said, almost lecturing the guard for his questionable remark.

"Be as it may, there's some serious fighting in the slums ever since the lockdown was announced. Think it escalated between some gangs," he said, looking worriedly over to the slums. "So you'd better stay away if you can."

"But we can't," Subaru said crisply, surprising Felt once more, while the guard eyed him suspiciously.

"You sure, Subaru? Turf wars can be dangerous enough. We could sneak by, but we could also just return tomorrow," Felt offered, seemingly noticing Subaru's unhingedness.

"Better listen to her… boy," the guard said, turning to look down towards the road leading to the slums with disdain and spitting on the ground. "That scum down there's even worse than usual."

What began as well-meant advice, quickly turned into a demeaning comment about the slums and their destitute dwellers. And while he certainly wouldn't object to that description being used on the thugs and gangs, he was pretty sure the guard meant anyone down there. Like Felt, who glared at the guard in turn.

"No, we should go now, Felt," he said again with determination, joining Felt in glaring. "Who knows if it's going to be any better tomorrow, if the guard is too busy being useless here and standing around, instead of doing anything about the violence going on down there?"

"Why you little!" the man hissed, fuming. "We're only here to protect you lot, so show some manners!"

"You're right, Subaru," Felt said, rolling her eyes. "We'll manage just fine, despite the guards' most useful job." As expected, Felt was rather quick to agree when it came to the incompetence of the city's police force.

With a grim expression, the guard stepped aside. "Damn brats, won't even take a well-meant advice from their betters," he muttered, leaving the path to the slums open as though no longer caring to stop them.

Ignoring the man's ramblings, the two walked past him. While Subaru had attempted to go a peaceful way again, Felt couldn't let it slide and scoffed at the guard, showing her continued disrespect. Though the guard didn't seem to pay them any attention anymore as they entered the slums.

So far so good. Now let's just hope it's not that much worse today than tomorrow.

---

How upsetting. To think that they would act so panicked over yet another nonsensical thing their so-called protector had condenscended to let them know.

Instead of actually doing something for the people, like preventing their fall into disarray in the first place. No, instead he had deigned to warn them of something unknown to come. Not like there weren't plenty of threats lingering in the world.

Instead of actually doing something for the people, or at least not bringing harm upon them even further. Just earlier, she had seen how many people were protesting the council's decision on the merchant's cross plaza. Where normally merchants were busy hustling around, or a constant stream of wares were drawn through the Capital, now it was just filled with discontent people, voicing their opposition against the harsh interference in their lives.

And still… she couldn't deny that she had been worried when the message had reached her by means of a palace guard. There were many soldiers, even in higher positions, ever-endebted to House Karsten, so she was informed of things happening inside the palace, whether she wanted this to be the case or not. While it did not adhere to her strict sense of honor, for the upcoming battle each advantage was needed, and it would have been foolish to ignore such an opportunity.

Especially if his words were to be believed. Even though the Dragon had failed them so gravely… even she knew his protection had its merits. Too many even. That was the bigger issue, than too little. Not to mention the troubling content of his message. It was exactly for that reason, that her resolve had become greater than ever.

"But enough of that. Instead of merely speaking empty words, we will take care of that new threat ourselves. The fates that the Dragon Stone casts upon us, the Star... they will not weigh us down. We will prove you are obsolete—and bring about a new era of strength for the Kingdom."

---

"So Felt, tell me. Are things always this rough in the slums?" Subaru asked as he followed Felt through some crumbling ruins. He already heard a bit over the past few days… loops, having experienced it well enough, but some repetition was unavoidable.

"Nah, not that bad," she said, before shrugging her shoulders. "Sure, gangs will always do some nasty stuff, but open fights and destructions are rare. Usually, the guard is quick to put an end to it, and hole the troublemakers up. Then it gets quiet for a while."

"But now they don't," Subaru said with a grim face. Why else would they not have intervened in any of the fights or even the fire?

"Yeah. Probably running around like a bunch of headless chickens," she said, never shy to bash the guard. "…Or just running from place to place, only trying to stop ongoing fights, who knows." That was probably closer to the truth, but it wasn't as insulting.

"Well, either way, if something happens, we certainly can't be counting on them," Subaru said, as they entered a broader dirt road that seemed clear enough to use. But even more important than a clear path ahead, was the sky being clear.

Ever since they had entered the slums, Subaru threw worried glances upwards, driven by his worry to see a black cloud rising once more. To his relief, it was as clear as it could be, with barely even a cloud visible.

"Quit daydreaming, we're almost there," Felt said, pointing to the building before them. Unbeknownst to him, they had already reached the plaza of the loot house… for the first time, intact. No fire, no smoke, no ash.

"Finally," he said under his breath.

"It didn't take that long," Felt said, rolling her eyes.

"If only you knew."

Not knowing how to respond to that remark, Felt shrugged, waling instead up to the front porch of the loot house, knocked three times at the door, and waited.

Subaru raised an eyebrow. "Can't you just go in? Lost your key?"

"This is the loot house, first and foremost, it's not like I live here. And it's always locked, entry isn't just possible for anyone." Subaru wondered what she meant, but the answer was quickly provided.

A deep, heavy voice spoke from inside. "For the White Whale…"

"See what I mean? There's—" Felt began, but was promptly interrupted.

"Some kind of passcode! Don't worry Felt, I'll figure it out!" he said in a giddy tone, momentarily forgetting their predicament. Obviously, some shady business always had some sort of passcode of proof of membership connected to it. Though he did miss the hatch one would often see used in movies. "The White Whale… there's that story of Moby Dick, but is that meant? But I mean, even if not, there's only really one thing to use against a whale…

"Uh, Subaru, there's no need, I kn—"

"A harpoon!" Subaru said, loud enough for the other side to hear it.

The voice grumbled. "Correct."

Subaru grinned, giving Felt a thumbs up. "Just leave it to me, your grandpa's riddles won't stop us!"

Felt looked dumbfounded at Subaru, her jaw having fallen down. Squinting her eyes, she didn't object to him continuing. Instead, she regarded him with a mysterious expression.

The rumbling voice continued, "For giant rats?"

Moving a hand to his chin, Subaru thought for a while.

It's again about killing, right? To kill rats one would probably use some traps? If they exist here… they're not exactly complicated, but who knows. Wait… no, those are mouse traps, using cheese as bait. Doubt they'd work on giant rats. But if I think about cheese as bait, then one could also just put in…

"Poison?" he asked cautiously.

"Is that a question?" the voice asked, unexpectedly playful.

"It's my answer! Don't make it any harder!" Subaru shot back, flustered.

"Yeah, yeah, right again," the man said, slightly amused. "To the most honorable great Dragon we're all…?"

This one was tough. The wording didn't imply killing, but rather his attitude towards someone. Or opinion? It's also probably not about ground dragons, judging by the many honorifics used to describe it. Even putting aside the thought that such great Dragons seemed to exist as well, he struggled to find an answer.

Turning to Felt, he scratched his cheek, letting shine through his cluelessness—and embarrassment. "You got any idea for that one?"

"Shitbags," said Felt without a moment of hesitation, earning herself a surprised look by Subaru.

"Correct," the man on the other side mumbled. The sound of something heavy being shifted around could be heard—given by the rumbling door, it was probably some sort of bar used to lock it.

"I knew the answers already," Felt said with a smug grin, earning herself a pressed smile from Subaru.

"Guess could have just left it to you then," Subaru said, kicking away some dirt. Time was of the essence after all, and them standing around outside increased the chance to be seen.

The door was swung open and in it stood a real giant of a man. Subaru took a step back, slightly shocked. "Oh, it's you, Felt. With… huh. Company," he said with a deep voice, scrutinizing Subaru. "I'm Rom, come in."

"Hey, old man Rom. How've things been?" Felt asked, walking in with a bright smile. Subaru followed suit, glad that they'd be out of sight for now.

"A bit troublesome," Rom said, as he put back the bar to lock the door. "Glad to see that all's fine on your end."

"Not really fine. It's quite the story," Felt said, shouting it back across the room. She had meanwhile taken place at the bar. "Yo Subaru, don't be a stranger, take a seat!"

"Sure, just gimme a second!" Subaru shouted back.

When he had first entered the room, he was surprised at just how much stuff was lying around. So when Felt asked him over he first decided to take a look around, intrigued by all the different items scattered about.

There was a real abundance of goods there. Swords and shields decorated the walls, having been neatly arranged all around the room. Together with various types of spears fixed in a special mounting, and the sets of armor standing right beside them, the place gave off the impression of a genuine armory.

At least, until he continued to look around. To the left there were multiple shelves filled with a wide collection of trinkets, from goblets to plates—even silverware was displayed in them. Right at the center stood some bigger pottery on the ground, and right next to it, there were dolls, and other things that might pass as toys. On the far side of the room, to his right,, he could see a serious collection of books, surrounded by lots of boxes.

Actually, all across the room were small boxes, either stapled up to the ceiling or used to display other goods, probably containing more of the same kind inside. At least judged by the matching signs used on both, the item displayed in question, and the label on the box right next to it.

Finally, right behind the bar was another set of shelves, probably displaying the most valuable stuff. Rom had placed himself behind the bar and stood right between anything and the objects, making it impossible to reach them without passing him.

All in all, this almost seemed like some sort of antique shop, or maybe some elaborate secondhand shop. Actually… it technically was a secondhand shop, given its name "loot house".

His curiosity satisfied, he went over to Felt and Rom, who were already chatting about what happened the day he met her.

As Subaru walked over he took a closer look at her grandpa again. He was very tall, if not an outright giant, though his hunchback certainly took away a bit of his height. While he was bald, he had thick bushy eyebrows, reaching even down to his chin, where they each were bound together by some sort of hairpin or trinket. But he wasn't only tall, he was also broad, a real hulk of a man. His arms were thicker than Subaru's head, and his physique did not seem to suffer from age in the slightest.

Though now that he thought about it… perhaps this was also owed to his environment—there were many scars visible on his arms, showing that he had not led a calm life. Then again, this was probably somewhat needed to survive in the slums, having been able to build up a business like this in this part of town. And from the slums he hailed—that was clearly visible by his ripped, and clumsily patched-together clothing.

"So Felt, what you've been up to? And who's the guy? A new client or customer?" he asked, as he filled two glasses and handed them to both.

"I'm Natsuki Subaru!" he said with great enthusiasm, pointing his thumb at his chest. "And I'm her—."

"I hate you!"

Suddenly, Felt's face from the past loop flashed through his mind. The lingering ash smudged her warped expression along with her tears, a ghastly and miserable look as she declared her hatred for him, which was solely his fault. Hearing that echo ringing in the back of his mind, Subaru's voice died down.

Felt looked expectantly at Subaru, tilting her head.

"A weirdo?" Rom asked probing, though rather laid-back than insulting.

She chucked. "No, he's a friend. You could say he saved my life." At that statement Rom raised an eyebrow, eyeing him closer, whereas Subaru calmed down again. Hearing her name him as such… it definitely helped to overcome the shock. Especially since the intended praise—that he'd been able to save her from Elsa—was somewhat lost among the most recent troubles, which didn't go so well since then.

Though of course no one besides Subaru knew about his shortcomings or their impending doom. Felt happily continued to talk about what happened a couple of days ago. "So later that day I took a job. It went kinda wrong… very wrong," she said, taking a sip. "Huh, undiluted milk, nice."

Taking another sip, she continued. "Got caught up in some scheme by the client, wanted me 'n the target dead!" she spat, slamming the glass onto the counter. "Who knows how it would have ended without Subaru here."

"For you to get caught off guard. Must have been one hell of an offer," said the old man with a grim voice. "Thanks for helping Felt then, boy. Drink as much as you like."

"Oh, you gave him milk as well, old man Rom?" she asked in surprise, leaning over the counter. "Did you run out of booze?"

"As if that could happen," the man said, hollering some more. "Nah, he's your buddy, so I'm obviously gonna give him the same as you."

"I'll take milk over alcohol any time, so thanks!" Subaru said with a smile. But in truth, he didn't feel much like drinking. His stomach was heavy, knowing that time pressed forward and they shouldn't linger around for too long. Else…

"And where you've been, since? Had me quite worried, you know?"

"Well… unfortunately, we kinda had to call a knight to help. Turned out to be the friggin' Sword Saint!" she said, throwing her arms in the air.

While Rom seemed at first rather calm listening to Felt, when she mentioned the Sword Saint, his shoulders grew stiff. With a slightly raspy voice, he mumbled, "Had to be an Astrea, huh."

Felt nodded, seemingly not noticing her grandfather's unease. "Yeah, Reinhard van Astrea. He took us in for questioning and offered the person I was supposed to steal from protection. And I've been stuck there since."

Rom filled her glass right back up, appearing as casual about it as he could. "And? Is the Sword Saint's as noble and heroic as people say?" he asked with an unreadable expression. Though if anything it sounded almost… mocking? Condescending even?

"Annoyingly so," Felt replied, rolling her eyes. "He's stiff as a board."

Subaru made a long face. Hearing them talk about Reinhard that critically was strange. If anything, to him his chivalrous if not heroic attitude was impressive, even inspiring, and nothing to scoff at. Leading to him throwing Felt a questioning glance.

A pressed smile appeared on her face. "Though… I can tell he means well, I think," Felt added hastily, earning herself a thumbs up from Subaru. "But seriously… his questioning the other day was pretty persistent. Asking me about my parents and whatnot… as If I knew."

"He asked about your parents?" Rom asked, clearly surprised by the question. "That's certainly not a good sign." He put a hand on his chin and turned around—hiding his expression from view.

"Yeah, dunno what that was all about. Told him you're my only family." A proud smile was drawn on her face, earning her a hearty laugh from Rom, which was probably loud enough for someone outside to hear it. "But enough about that, we'll have to return there soon enough. Anything happened on your end? How're the slums, with things in the city being bad?"

Turning around again, he scratched the back of his neck. "I'm sure you heard or maybe even saw that there are some turf wars ongoing. The gangs are making a racket all around. Though heard it's way worse in other parts of the slums," Rom said, picking up his jar. "More importantly though, there's been some people asking around for you. That's why I've mainly been worried—know that you can take care of yourself just fine enough though."

Subaru clenched his fists. He knew very well who sought after her—the threat constantly gnawing on the back of his mind.

"Some people lookin' for me? Who and what do they want?" she asked perplexed.

"Seems like they belong to the Golden Coin gang. Told me they had some business with you. And here I thought you'd stay out of these things," Rom said, shaking his head.

"I don't have any business with them!" Felt shouted, slamming her hands on the counter as she jumped up. "Wouldn't get myself dragged into something like that, you know it!"

"Yeah… told them I don't buy it either," Rom said with a loud laugh hollering through the loot house. "Asked about your whereabouts. So it might be better to keep an eye open. Though I doubt they'd really try and do something funny."

"Not like they could get me at the Sword Saint's home," Felt whistled, seemingly unworried by their plot. No, utterly unworried, going as far as dismissing the thought by shooing with her hand.

"Well, you aren't there right now," Rom said bluntly. "That aside, you going back there? It sounded like it at least."

A cheeky smile was plastered across Felt's face. "We kinda snuck out. I wanted to tell you I'm fine and catch some fresh air. But yeah, until the issue is settled, I'm kinda stuck there and have to return before they notice we're gone."

"I see… Might be better to just stay there and play along for now," he said, looking lost into the distance. Felt's eyes widened. It seemed that wasn't the reaction she expected. "At least you'll be safe there for the time being, with the gangs and whatnot." The old man's words had almost sounded pacifying, as if he wanted to convince Felt to stay there after she had taken the trouble to get down to the slums again.

Felt opened and closed her mouth without saying anything. It looked like the only thing her grandpa had managed to evoke as a reaction was surprise and confusion. However, this was just in Subaru's favor.

"Maybe we should head back there now then if it's safer?" Subaru asked probing, stealing a glance at Felt.

"What? No way! We've barely just arrived!" Felt moaned, not showing much enthusiasm for his suggestion. If anything, he knew why he only glanced at her—looked pretty miffed now.

"It's just that… you know, Rom here mentioned it being dangerous… What if they saw us and attack this place?" Subaru asked cautiously. Now that the topic had been brought up, it was time to get them all out of here.

"Attack this place?" Rom asked bewildered, before bursting into laughter. "Attack! Right! Good one! I'll drink one to that!" He reached for the jar that had so far stood a bit aside and gulped down its contents.

Subaru felt helpless. It appeared he would have real trouble convincing them of the impending danger. With a sigh, he prepared to take a different route, but was interrupted by Felt before he could begin.

"Nuh-uh," said Felt, crossing her arms. "Enough about that. I'm far more interested to hear how you knew the answer to the first question!" Felt said with exaggerated joviality.

Blinking a few times, Subaru had trouble readjusting to Felt's sudden lift in mood. He felt they should be going as soon as they could, but it was also clear they weren't exactly open to listening to him. Still, to lose time with that…

"The first question… You mean the question about the White Whale?" Subaru asked after some hesitation. After a short nod from Felt, he ruffled his hair.

With a gloomy facial expression and his voice having become hollow he began. "Everyone knows the famous story of Captain Ahab and the White Whale! Of a man, driven by obsession and hatred against his nemesis, a beast of legendary fortitude!"

Felt's eyes widened, looking questioningly at Rom. "You ever heard that story?"

"Hey, don't inter—!"

"Nah, never heard about it. Go on, boy," Rom said, leaning forward on the counter, clearly interested.

Coughing, Subaru continued. "As I was about to say… a man hunting the beast which had torn everything from him. The beast he had sworn vengeance on, having taken many lives throughout its reign of terror over the seas."

"Skies," Felt interrupted again, seemingly confused.

"Hey! Is it my story or yours?" Subaru shot back. With a slight pout, Felt turned her head away, but stole a glance at him anyway, indicating she was very well interested to hear more.

"Anyway. The Captain and his crew set out to hunt the mythical beast all over the world. In their final confrontation, he manages to hit his hated archfiend. However, misfortune struck him as he got entangled in the rope fastened to his harpoon and got dragged with it into the depths, never to be seen again."

"Into the depths? Don't you mean into the heights?" This time it was Rom who criticized his story, apparently pointing out a flaw.

"What are you talking about? Whales can't fly, they swim!" Subaru said full of disbelief.

"They? There's more than one? That really doesn't add up," Rom said, shaking his head. "There's only The White Whale." If Subaru didn't know better, it sounded like he got lectured.

"Yeah Subaru, that story seems like a nice little tale, but not much more," Felt chimed in, shrugging her shoulders. "Still, I guess it helped you get the answer… somehow. Maybe a few things got mixed up over the years."

Clearly outnumbered, Subaru gave up, throwing his arms into the air. "Fine, fine. Even if you don't know the story, that's how it goes."

"Well, either way, it was a good story," said Rom, as he filled his jar again. By now his breath had taken on a clear alcoholic note, as he had drunk quite a bit during his telling. "Always nice to get distracted from the hardships of life."

Subaru's eyes widened. He let himself get sidetracked far too long. Even if they weren't ready to listen, that didn't mean they weren't in danger. "Now that you mention it again… the hardships. With things being so rough. Is there a risk of Felt or you getting attacked?"

Felt rolled her eyes. "Not that again, I thought we just left that behind us," she said, clearly annoyed. "I've no idea what they would want, so I don't think it's anything, really."

"No, I'm serious. If they've got business with you, Felt, but you don't know about it… that doesn't sound right," Subaru insisted. "With the gangs being this violent already, you know."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean they'd attack this place. Why would they?" By now Felt seemed a bit worried, potentially unnerved by Subaru's insistence.

"You heard Rom, maybe it's dangerous. What if they've been lurking around already?"

"I dunno Felt. It's definitely better to look out for now," Rom said, looking into his jar. "Doubt they'd be dumb enough to attack, but they did show up here each day since the fights began."

By now Subaru's fingers thrummed on the counter. Felt clearly still had her doubts, and even if Rom agreed to be more watchful in general, it was clear that he didn't see them directly at risk. With his patience running thin, or rather, his nervousness increasing by the minute, he grew agitated.

Just as he was about to continue, a dull noise caught their attention. "Did you forget to fasten the boxes again, granpa?" Felt asked with a bored voice.

"No… I don't think so? Sounded like it came from around the entrance… I'll go check." With a carefree attitude, he scuffed to the entrance area, grunting in annoyance. Even though he looked fit, he wasn't the quickest on foot.

Anxious and somewhat wary, Subaru got up and followed the old man. He was sitting on needles anyhow, so getting the chance to walk off a bit was appreciated.

That's why he was immediately on edge when Rom had stopped to go forward, lightly waddling on the spot before him instead.

"Ugh," Rom exclaimed, raising his foot with a disgusted expression. "What's that? Did a vase fall over? So slippery."

Confused, Subaru looked to the man's feet, not understanding what he meant. Then his eyes widened.

---

A lone man walked through the streets of the capital, his gait distinctly light-footed, humming contently to himself. It had turned out to be a most wonderful day. To think that something came out of almost getting mugged—he could barely believe his fortune. "Buying off all my wares for a more than fair price… This is the best day ever!" he spoke excitedly, walking through the merchant district.

He couldn't believe it, had the lockdown put a severe damper on his mood before, if not posed a massive risk for his existence as a whole, now he was nothing but overjoyed. Not only that he was able to conduct a most successful and lucrative deal, but it was also even made amidst the most troubling circumstances imaginable, with trade having died down and him being stuck in the capital for days.

Stacked under his shirt and well-hidden by his coat hung the bags full of coins, slightly jingling from his movement, though hopefully not audible to those around him. Would've been quite ironic for him to get mugged twice a day and lose it all again. "No, no. Not even gonna think about that."

Too good was his mood to think of something so terrible. Besides, he had important things to do. Traversing into the upper end of the merchant district, avoiding any potential trouble on the way with all the protestors, he came to a halt before a certain large building.

It was several stories high and clad in a distinct dark wood, imported from the very southeast of the world, while the glass was without a doubt made by the crafty people of Costuul, the industrial heart of the Kingdom. If this alone had not already spoken for the wide connections and great wealth the owners of this building must have possessed, the emblem of the merchant guild, golden scales, made it even to the most distant onlooker clear to whom it belonged.

Taking a deep breath, he entered the building, unsure whether it was really such a wise idea to come here on such short notice. Then again, he'd yet to meet someone not eager to receive money. And surely. the merchant guild especially was no different in that regard. Still, the waiting room was full to the brim, and he was most definitely not the only merchant posing some sort of request to their guild. He had to wait alone for half an hour in the queue before he was even able to voice his matter.

"Greetings. My name is Otto Suwen and I would like to make an appointment with Russell Fellow," he spoke to the receptionist, an elder woman with a sharp gaze and even sharper glasses.

"Do you see how many other people a—hmm? Did you say Suwen?" the woman asked, taking a closer look at him. "Please take a seat and wait. You will be fetched for soon."

"Eh!? So quickly?" Otto asked surprised, clearly not expecting such a reception compared to many other people that filled the entrance, awaiting their turn. It wasn't the kind of treatment the merchant was used to. If anything, he would have suspected having to wait for hours, if he'd get a chance to talk to him at all.

"Yes, now sit down please, Suwen-san." With a slight bow, the man did as he was told and truly, after less than half an hour, he was brought to the office of the treasurer of the Merchant Guild of Lugnica—to which he himself belonged, as did any respectable member of the trade.

But unlike he expected, he wasn't led into his office, but into a small room right beside it. As Otto took off his hat, putting it clumsily before his chest, and entered, the man he had requested to see turned around, lifting his gaze from the window and locking eyes with him. "Welcome, Suwen-san," he said with a slight bow. "Please excuse me for having to use this room for the time being, but with the current circumstances in the city and many merchants seeking our help, I am flooded by paperwork. And due to your request on such short notice…" The man didn't continue, but he seemed absolutely sure Otto had understood the notion.

"Please worry not, Russell-san, I am very grateful for you being able to see me this spontaneously. If anything, I must ask for forgiveness. Were it not as important, I would of course have asked for an appointment at a much more convenient time."

If it wasn't clear enough by speech alone, just one look at the man was enough to know he must have been fairly rich and influential. A perfectly tailored set of clothes consisting of a white shirt, violet vest, purple mantle, matching pants, and polished shoes gave off an astoundingly refined look. His white gloves were speckless, his beard meticulously shaped—everything about the man shouted class and wealth.

The exchange of courtesies was accompanied by the man's unwavering smile, not showing to have been inconvenienced in the slightest. "I am most interested to hear what you have to say, Suwen-san. Please, have a seat," he said, directing Otto to the seat right across a small folder containing some paperwork. The man sat down across from him, opening said folder. "It has only been a couple of days since we last met, no?"

While he still wore his smile, Otto could feel the man's observing eyes keeping him under close scrutiny. If anything, he felt like prey being watched by a hunter. "Yes, Russell-san. It is indeed about the same matter we had discussed earlier—with a positive outcome."

The other man raised an eyebrow but remained silent. It was clear that he expected him to continue. "Just earlier I was able to sell the whole wagon—the full cargo of oil—to quite favorable conditions," Otto said with a slightly pitched voice.

"I am most delighted to hear that, Suwen-san!" Russell said, taking a note with an even wider smile. "Considering the outstanding fees and taxes owed to the merchant guild, does this put you in a better spot now?"

"It is definitely helping, though I fear it is not yet quite enough. But it does put me in a much better spot. That is why I wanted to ask if we could increase the rate of repayment. I presumed it would also be in the interest of the guild to receive my outstanding duties sooner." Otto wore a pressed smile, clearly not being too comfortable to speak of such matters, but he was grateful for even having been given deferral in the first place.

Russell put down the feather and let his gloved hand glide through his beard. "Hmm… A most noble attitude, Suwen-san. I am very pleased to see you are such an upright businessman." If his goal was to flatter Otto, he was successful. The merchant's chest swelled with pride, so much so that he didn't notice the calculative glint in the other man's eyes. "However, might I offer a potentially even more profitable solution?"

---

"Get away from there, quickly!" Subaru shouted, his voice distorted from the sudden panic. Seeing as the old man only took a small step back, Subaru grabbed his arm, further pulling him backward.

"Hey, hey, what's gotten into you?" the old man repined, pulling himself free after a couple of steps. "What's wrong?"

"Yeah Subaru, what's the problem?" Felt asked, having jumped up from her seat, wondering what the sudden commotion meant. "Wha—!?"

Barely after Subaru had dragged old man Rom away from the entrance, a sudden sound of something shattering rang through the loot house. Followed by a spluttering noise. Blinded by the sudden light emanating under the door, Subaru covered his eyes.

"Fire!" Felt shouted, pointing to the door. "There's fire!" Her voice was littered with panic, as she ran over to grab the bottle of milk standing on the counter.

"Shit, too late!" Subaru cursed, still covering his eyes from the flickering flames. "That liquid… it was oil! We have to get out of here, quickly!" His voice too showed nothing but undiluted fear—he knew well what fate awaited them if they stayed around much longer.

Within mere seconds the fire had spread over to some of the stacked boxes, which were quick to ignite, fall over, and spread the flames even more. Thick smoke amassed within the main room, making breathing both hard and painful.

"Go to the room in the back, we'll have to leave through the back exit!" Rom shouted while heavily coughing, shoving both Felt and Subaru out of the room.

Luckily, the backroom had so far not been touched by fire, allowing them to quickly reach the back exit. When Rom however attempted to open the door, it didn't budge.

"What's wrong, granpa?" Felt asked, looking worried back to the flaming room. "Hurry!"

"I'm trying! But the damn door's blocked somehow!" he shouted. Even after he had attempted to punch the door, or ram it with all his weight, it didn't open more than a few millimeters. But it was enough to see why it didn't move. A big log laid right before it, making it impossible to open it.

Subaru's eyes widened. When he and Felt first got to the burning loot house… there was a giant log lying at the back of the building. "That wasn't from the roof… those bastards blocked the back exit… dammit!" The realization was quickly swept away by panic. Even if the room had not yet been touched by the fire, the air was getting thin and toxic nonetheless, making breathing more difficult by the minute. There was no time to waste. "There has to be a way out of here!" said Subaru, as he stumbled back to the main room.

He looked around frantically, searching for a way to escape the burning hell. But the fire had already eaten its way around the building, having feasted on the wooden structure and the many flammable things scattered all around it. What had been valuable stolen goods before, was now nothing more but cinder for the raging flames.

As he was about to turn around, a rumbling sound echoed through the loot house. No, the whole thing was shaking—the fire must have damaged it considerably by now. Stumbling back from the cloud of dust and ash that got blown up, he went into a coughing fit.

"Subaru, are you okay?" a muffled voice asked.

Opening his teary eyes, the door to the backroom was gone—instead, a pile of debris and splintered wood filled the space. "I'm fine!" he shouted. "What about you? Can you get the door open?"

"Not yet. Old man Rom's trying to smash it open, but it's not moving. Anything on your end?"

"It's looking bad. The flames have already reached the roof… uh. Guess that's why it collapsed here," Subaru said, as he looked around. Truth be told, the flames had advanced dangerously… it wouldn't take more than a few minutes until… until…

"Keep trying to push open the door!" he shouted with a shrill voice. "I'll try to find a way out. If you don't hear anything from me… keep pushing!"

"Subaru? Subaru!" But her voice didn't reach him anymore, drowned out by the crackling sounds as he went deeper into the burning mess of a room.

Despite his tormented lungs, Subaru exhaled deeply in a desperate attempt to calm his panicked senses. If he failed now, Felt and Rom's fates were sealed as well, getting subjected to a most gruesome death. Not that he himself was in any better position, but he didn't even want to imagine that. There was only really one way forward. Unfortunately, that path was blocked by dancing flames lying right before and unknown dangers behind it. Still, he had to take the risk—there was nothing he could do otherwise.

He took off his jacket and wrapped it around his left arm, bracing himself for what was to come. Then, he picked up one of the boxes that had been scattered around, where the flames had not yet reached. With astounding precision, he chucked it into a window. As the glass broke and shattered into pieces, the fire right next to it rose even more, being fueled by the new incoming source of oxygen.

"Here goes nothing!" he shouted, running right towards the flames. Almost head-first he leaped out of the window, smashing the remnants of the glass and wood with his shoulder. It had been the only possible way out, and in his desperation he saw no other possibility than taking the risk to land right into something even worse than glass.

A searing pain spread across his left leg, and a sharp, burning feeling emanated from his left arm. Looking down, he could see his pants had been singed slightly—he must have scraped by the fire just barely, not having come close enough for it to connect with the fabric. His shoulder, however, was not looking so well—blood pouring out of the openings that had been carved by the glass shards he had jumped right into. There was a multitude of glass splinters stuck inside his left arm, but he could still move it. It was only a tiny amount of pain, compared to what he had suffered through already.

Clenching his jaw, he picked himself up, pushing past the pain. Even if it hurt, and he couldn't burden—or even use—his left side too much, he was still alive. He escaped the fiery pit. Meaning… "Time to get the others out of there!"

Not wasting another moment, he turned into a sprint, hurrying right around the building, not paying any attention to his surroundings. While the whole roof had caught fire by now and a gigantic plume of smoke rose to the sky, the backside was not yet aflame, and the enormous wooden beam was still touchable.

Going closer, he could see the door being slightly ajar. It must have been due to the work of Rom, who had constantly pushed against the door since. "Felt, Rom! You okay still!?" he shouted, looking through the gap.

"Subaru, you're okay!" shouted Felt, as Rom caught new breath. "But yeah… the air's getting heavy, but we're still fine."

"Alright, I'll try to get the log out of the way, hang on a bit more!" Seeing the nod from Felt, Subaru collected his strength once more. His arm stung like hell, and each slight movement of his leg burnt as the air pressed against the open skin. Still, he had to get them out of there, and minor things such as these wouldn't stop him now. With his right arm he attempted to get a hold of the log, finding just the right angle to push it.

There! There seemed to be one sport where the log seemed to budge the tiniest amount! He steadied himself, tensing his muscles as he began to push—

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that," a heinous voice echoed from behind him.

A cold shiver ran down Subaru's spine. Beads of sweat collected on his forehead, produced by both the fear he could feel seep into his body, as well as the exertion that he had to bring up so far. It was a voice that he'd already heard, several times before.

"Subaru, what's going on?" Felt asked from inside, apparently having noticed him not moving anymore.

But Subaru was almost paralyzed. He knew he needed his strength to push the log away. But if the haggard man was right behind him, so must have been some other thugs. And if he now just pushed mindlessly, they would be sure to stop him, making any attempt to rescue them impossible.

"Huh, still alive? Looks like we paid way too much for that stupid oil," the man muttered. "But nothing that can't be fixed."

Panicked and full of anger, Subaru turned to the man and spoke up. "Fuck off! Leave them alone, what did they ever do to you!?" He knew there was no sensible talking with the man, but he had to buy some time to move the log. Especially seeing that behind him, his army of thugs stood ready... with torches, jars and buckets.

"Well, in your and that other case in there; exist," the man spat, picking up another jar from the ground and throwing it right in Subaru's face.

"Agh!" Shouting, Subaru stumbled back, holding his eyes which had gotten covered in oil and just barely not a shard. He tried to quickly wipe away the greasy substance, but he didn't achieve much more than spreading it all over his hands.

"Subaru, you okay? What's happening? Felt's worried voice barely made it through to him. The flames were now descending from the roof and eating their way through the upper parts of the walls, spewing forth more and more soot in the process.

"You won't get in our way, you disgusting brat! While it's no surprise for you to collaborate with demi-human-filth, don't think we'll just let you mess with us!" There was nothing but hostility and contempt in the man's voice. "Now get out of the way!" the haggard man shouted, as he grabbed Subaru's head of hair and tossed him to the side, away from the wooden beam.

As Subaru laid there, his vision impaired by his pasted eyes, coated by oil and dirt, he could only hear the heinous voice of the haggard man, and the sudden shouts of Felt and Rom.

Blinded and slightly dizzy from having been thrown around, he had trouble understanding what was happening. All he could really do was hear, and realize that he was being pinned down by at least two thugs. But he couldn't struggle himself free—didn't even know where he was supposed to hit at.

Any thoughts about his own situation died down the moment he could hear shouts grow louder… No, screams—they were screams, as he had never heard them before. "AAAAAGH!" Not when he had gurgled up blood against Elsa, nothing like the very first shout from Felt shortly before they had found her lying in a pool of her own blood. No, these were far more horrible. Bloodcurdling, ear-splitting sounds… derived from a pure nightmare.

"AAAAAGH!" In a violent struggle, he managed to free his right arm, which was immediately used to quickly rub away the vision-blocking smudge on his eyes. For but a moment his eyes were open, and he shut them tight again.

In a moment lasting less than a blink of an eye, true terror had etched itself into Subaru's mind. Flames were spewing out of the door gap, where just shortly before Felt stood, deeply worried about him. Felt, who had called him her big bro. Felt, who had only wanted to see her grandpa. Felt, who taught him about the city with a smile on her face. Felt, who shouted that she hated him. The tiny gap was far too narrow to allow insight into what was happening. Instead, his mind had painted a mental image—though perhaps, this was even worse. Giving reins to one's imagination, based on Felt screaming her lungs out, Felt as she got… as she…

Subaru puked. As the realization hit him… as his brain was forced to acknowledge what his senses just conveyed to it, Subaru puked. The taste of bile, mixed with the sour, stringent smell spread through his head—as if his body attempted to blind his senses to the dreadful horror playing before him.

But it was all for nothing. Neither mind nor body could trick the senses, and they in turn forced him to witness their agonizing death throes. What was probably nothing more than a minute, felt more than an eternity for Subaru. He could only hope… no… something like that shouldn't be hoped for. Though it might have been merciful, he couldn't bring himself to think like that.

"You bastards!" Subaru shouted, struggling once more, as he was still being pinned down by the thugs. "I won't let you get away with that!"

"Neither will we," the haggard man spat. "C'mon, get him up."

Subaru was pulled up to his feet, his eyes being forced right to look towards the still raging flames. He attempted to turn his head away, but the haggard man wouldn't let him. "Was that too much for even a monster such as you? How surprising…"

Subaru couldn't discern anymore between insult, mockery, or genuine surprise—and frankly, he didn't care. His mind was hollow, having retreated far back after such an onslaught on the senses.

"Got nothing to say?" the haggard man asked, sounding almost disappointed. "Well, I'm sure we'll be hearing something out of you regardless. Do it."

Subaru didn't understand what the man had meant. It was only when the crumbling, burning ruins of the loot house came closer, that his eyes regained some light. "No! No, no! Wait!" he shouted, struggling anew, this time with much greater force. "No, NO!"

To witness another person meeting such a fate was horrible. To a friend, harrowing. But to see oneself getting brought closer to the flames, doused in oil… there are barely any words to describe the dread and terror the soul goes through in such a moment.

His left side was wounded, and yet he put in all the strength and life he had to break free. To escape their grip and make a run for it. But that didn't happen. With little effort, they lifted Subaru, and—

Pain. Unimaginable pain. "AAAGH!" Now it were his shouts echoing through the air. Each cell of his skin flared up. Hot, burning, and stinging pain coursed through his body, racing to the brain to warn it from danger. But it was, of course, meaningless. He had been thrown into a sea of fire. The loot house had been completely engulfed by raging flames—and so was he, now. All around him, just, pain.

But the pain wasn't just around him. He could feel pain just as well close to his heart. As he was forced to breathe inside the flames, his lungs filled with hot steam instead. He was getting burned from the inside just as well, making him feel terror beyond what he thought to be possible.

As his lungs were burnt more and more by the infernal steam, so did his intake of it increase—the less air he got, the more his body demanded, inviting more and more pain, keeping him in a state of constant agony even after most nerve cells on his skin had been burnt to a crisp. Instead, it was now predominantly his insides, as well as nose, mouth, and throat that were destined to hurt, prolonging his suffering even more.

For there was no room for thoughts, nor need for feelings—only pain mattered in these few moments remaining. And yet, it felt like an eternity. His eyes had long lost the ability to produce new tears, the few droplets of water that had fought against the flames having evaporated before they had even reached the end of his face. He squinted them desperately, but in doing so just prolonged the pain caused by their shrinkage.

Despite his shouts dying down… he didn't. His suffering continued. Even now, as his lungs had been burnt thoroughly, even now as his throat felt like a line of fire had traversed all the way down… he was still alive. Even with his muscles convulsed, having been robbed of their ability to stretch… he lived. As his lungs collapsed, he noticed though… the need for oxygen. He needed to breathe. Needed the pain. Without the pain, he couldn't live. But he didn't want to die. Even trapped in infinite agony… his mind refused to die. He just needed oxygen. Oxygen.

His mind began to waver. No, his consciousness did… his mind stood strong. Oxygen! Oxygen…! In an agonizing struggle to breathe, his throat collapsed… and Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

---

"Subaru?" a voice rang from the door.

With an empty gaze, Subaru stared at the wall across his bed. It was white and empty… just like his mind had been.

His mind had lingered in place. Before he sat up, his eyes were centered on the beautiful patterns in the ceiling, though he didn't really see them. No, he didn't see anything, his vision being clouded by pure whiteness. Unseeing unhearing. Escaping from the world outside, into a void inside his own, nonexistent thoughts.

Numbness radiated through his limbs. His skin felt alien. Could he even claim of this body to be his, or was it just a shell of flesh attached to his consciousness? Subaru didn't know, and most certainly made no effort to even consider such things either.

For his mind undertook the greatest of efforts to remain detached from the body and its senses, And his soul in turn from his mind, filled with thoughts and resurging memories.

In the end, there was nothing. Nothing but peaceful, pristine, white nothingness all around him. Lost in it, he could not tell how much time had passed—or if time even mattered anymore. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, all seemed equally likely. Though… no. A few snippets of reality had made it through to him.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting there like that. But he knew Felt came by, knocked a couple of times, and left, saying she'd make another round. Accompanied by a curse or two. And that he sat up some time afterwards. Heard something.

"Subaru? I'm coming in…" the voice announced.

Subaru's shaking pupils wandered all over the intruder… and focused. "Emilia…-tan?"

He blinked a few times. Ever since he returned… he didn't think much, really—or feel. Still, he knew he didn't expect Emilia of all people to show up. After all, the last time they talked…

The last time we talked she called me a liar. She doesn't want to talk with me. Why is she here? I disappointed her. She… no. The last time… that was a different loop. A different loop. This is the second day… shortly after Reinhard left.

She left the door slightly ajar. "Is everything okay?" He followed her with his eyes as she stepped closer to his bedside. Seeing meant feeling, and feeling meant—

"Ah… sure!" Subaru said, conjuring a smile on his face. "I'm fine! Good, even." Emilia tilted her head.

Did she doubt it? Would she see me as a liar again? What if she found out that I was a disappointment once more? That I… Felt, Rom, and I…

Stepping even a bit closer, she examined his face. In any other situation he might have been overjoyed about that, but right now…

Don't. Don't show her how much of a disappointment you are. That you left them to… that I… hrk—

His hand wandered instinctively to his throat, which he just barely was able to camouflage by rubbing it instead a bit. Though his accelerated, if not frantic, breathing, he could not hope to suppress. He had to distract her…

"Ah… truth is… I was training with Reinhard this morning, you know? He hit my head… knocked me out good. Seems I haven't completely recovered from that," he said with a crooked smile. "He can hit quite hard, you know?"

Emilia shook her head. "Training with someone barely recovered, I'll need to have a word with Sir Reinhard when he's back," she said with a scolding voice. "Should I take a look? Maybe you got injured and didn't notice it?"

At first, Subaru wanted to chuckle, but when he heard her question, his eyes shot wide open. "NO!" he said, immediately covering his mouth with his left hand.

I can't let her have a look! She'll see the burnt… ah…

Subaru slowly let his gaze sink down to his right arm. He saw his mildly shaking hand, attached to his… intact arm. No blisters, no ash, no burnt marks… he was unharmed. And yet, he was shivering nonetheless. Could feel his skin peeling…

Looking up again, he saw the surprised look on Emilia's face. Well… he had practically shouted at her. How to salvage that…

"Ah, I'm sorry. It's nothing that serious I think, no need to worry about it."

"It certainly didn't sound like nothing," Emilia stated, her voice indicating clear disbelief. "Does it hurt somewhere? On your arm?"

Pain. It hurt so bad, that I thought the pain alone would kill me. But it didn't. I felt it, had to feel it. My skin, my lungs, my throat… a sea of unending pain.

Subaru's eyes had become hollow, as he gulped heavily. "Pain…? No, no… it didn't…"

"Not on your arm? Ah, you mentioned your head having been hit. Maybe you feel unwell? Nauseous?"

Subaru clasped both hands before his mouth. The sour taste of bile, of vomit… as he saw them burning… as he heard their screams…

"Unwell…? No, I'm… really, it's fine," he mumbled, not even being aware of his hands covering his mouth. His motions were only partially controlled anymore, led by instinct instead. He was practically drenched in cold sweat and plagued with minor trembles, if not outright shaking.

He hadn't even noticed Emilia approaching. Only when she had sat down at his bedside, slightly moving his covers, he looked over to her again. Her hands were folded before her chest, and her gaze slightly lowered. Even though she was turned to him, she didn't look at him at first. ""You know... sometimes I feel trapped… as if I couldn't go forward anymore. It helps me to talk with Puck in such cases," she said with a soft, yet strained voice. "So if you want to talk about something… I'll listen."

Trapped. Trapped inside the fire. Burnt—They were screaming… they needed me to save them. Trapped by the thugs inside the loot house. Burnt—Caught by the thugs' trap.

Subaru groaned, holding his head with both hands, and pulling his knees up to his chest.

Trapped in these hellish loops, ending up worse each time. No matter what I tried! I can't get out! Can't find a way! I'm nothing but trapped!

Challenged to face his most recent experiences, his mind had partially resurfaced. Unfortunately, that brought with it all the drowned-out memories and feelings which had barely been suppressed before.

I had such a great first loop. Could talk normally with Emilia, went to the city with Felt, trained with Grimm, and even Carol didn't view me as harshly! Followed by a pure nightmare. Felt hating me, Rom dead, Carol and Grimm seeing me as nothing but a troublemaker, and Emilia… a liar. It went all to hell. And the most recent loop… I thought I just had to be quicker. Do better. That I could outdo the thugs. Instead, walking right into a slaughterhouse.

Subaru shivered. He had clenched his legs so hard that his knuckles turned white, letting out another unintelligible noise.

Fire, screams, and pain. Like I had been sent directly to hell. Like someone judged all my shortcomings, all my failures, saw what I truly am, and sent me to the stakes… or purgatory. Pain, unrelenting, unending, neverending pain… I can't get out. There's nothing I can do. I can't…

Just as he was about to sink completely into despair, a sudden warmth brushed against his shoulders. Fearful in the first moment he flinched, trying to pull away from the sudden warmth, heat, fire. He didn't want to burn again, he couldn't, he mustn't…!

But as he looked up, he could only see strands of silver enveloping him, causing his breath to hitch. Emi...lia...?" His voice had been shaky already, but being held by her… he didn't understand.

"It's alright, you're safe now," she said, gently embracing him, a hand resting on the back of his head while the other rubbed his back.

His mind went blank a second time—she had completely derailed his train of thought. Hearing those words… They were lost to the first death. He had held them dearly—they saved him a long time ago, the first time, even, when he was completely lost, with not a single person in this new world regarding him with anything but disdain. Where he had almost found his end at the hands of the trio of thugs.

He thought those words and feelings to be lost, expressed by the first Emilia… the one he still owed to, forever unable to make up for it. But hearing them now… it wasn't really a different Emilia… but the same? Did she… really care?

Collecting his courage he raised his chin to take a look at her—where her amethyst eyes had already been waiting to meet with his. No glaring, no coldness—only gentleness radiated from them.

Like a dam breaking, tears welled from the corner of his eyes. It was too much… looking at him just the same way she did the first time… It felt like he finally could let go of all his pent-up fear and worry. With a scrunched face, flowing tears, and whimpering sobbing, he latched on to Emilia, burying his head into her chest and wrapping his arms around her, letting himself fall completely into her embrace. The flood of dejection, dread, and despair finally breaking forth, he bawled, getting in turn only hugged tighter by her, as she now firmly held him close to her.

Neither of them said anything. There was no need for that at this very moment. All that mattered was her warmth. Not heat. Just a gentle warmth coursing through his body. For the first time ever since he had met the Golden Coin gang, it was not the prospect of their threat looming on his mind, but instead merely the impressions his senses conveyed right here and now.

He must have looked pathetic. He was pathetic. Bawling his eyes out right in front of her… but she just firmly held him, letting him sob and whimper all he wanted. Or needed. Offered him to listen to anything. Maybe…

"… Nothing's alright," he pressed out between his sobs, fighting against the flood of tears and snot to speak coherently. Maybe it was time to give up? Give up on his belief to be able to do it. To have it all. All his attempts to fix the problem ended in failure. Catastrophic failure. "I… want to tell you—"

For a moment it seemed as if time stood still.

Subaru couldn't take it anymore. For three loops he had tried whatever he could to make it through—and to bring those around him through as well. And each attempt failed. Maybe Emilia's soothing touch allowed him to finally come forth and admit his need for help.

Or maybe it was just Emilia being Emilia. When he first arrived in this world, alone and lost, when he needed help most, she was there to help him. He didn't ask for it… and yet she helped him. And now as well. When he was on the verge of—. Maybe she could provide him with a way out. After all…

"I just thought that maybe you'd do better." He could very well still remember her words, the resignation in her voice resounding vividly through his mind. But despite the undeniable pain in them, they also meant that she had thought more of him. Despite him having been nothing but a disappointment so far… she cared. "I'm sorry, Emilia."

"Mhm. It's fine, Subaru, I'll listen," Emilia said softly as she continued to rub his back. "Just take your time."

Another moment of wordless silence had built up before it was sundered by a single word. "Fire," he said after some more sobs. "There was fire, everywhere." His voice was barely above a whisper. Subaru could have chosen any other issue weighing on his mind; the danger that lay ahead of him. Of Felt's escape plan. But right now, or rather, shortly before Emilia had shown up, his mind was on the verge of breaking. Breaking, unable to handle the memory of—.

"I wanted to help them," he whimpered, new tears breaking forth. "I had almost freed them, but then… I couldn't. They attacked me. Threw me to the ground. And then… then…" Subaru stuttered, failing to finish the thought.

"It's okay, Subaru. They can't hurt you now," she said, seemingly in an attempt to calm him down again. But Subaru weakly shook his head. He didn't deserve these calming words, because—

"They're dead," he whispered, causing Emilia's hand to halt. "I wanted to save them. And they… they burnt them! Burnt them alive!" His voice cracked, turning almost into a shout. "They killed them! And I couldn't do anything! Their screams, they… I… I couldn't save them…"

The image of spewing flames, the sound of agonizing screams, and the feeling of searing pain resurfaced. His voice had been distorted by grief and desolation. Had he not so desperately clung to Emilia, he would have curled up again, seeking protection from the nightmarish scene dancing before his inner eye. Instead, it was Emilia who gave him the much-needed support, holding him firm, and providing him with a sense of safety and stability.

"And then… they grabbed me. After their voices died down, after the others… died." Another wave of sobs erupted. "They grabbed me. Dragged me to the still blazing flames. I was already wounded, but I struggled. Struggled as hard as I could." He lifted his head anew, looking at Emilia whose eyes were filled with compassion and pain. "But they called me a monster! The flames came closer and closer and then… then…!" His voice died down again, unable to speak the unimaginable thought.

While in this very moment, he was ready to tell Emilia just about everything, first his heart and mind had to heal from the trauma endured in the last loop, or else his mind risked going blank for a third time. Still, the weight from all the loops crashed down on him just as well.

"I tried so hard!" he continued with a hoarse voice. "Wanted to set things right! I tried as hard as I could… but it was all for nothing!"

Subaru was exhausted. Exhausted from his struggle, but just as well from crying. He leaned against Emilia once more. "I can't protect anybody… can't help anybody. Whatever I try goes wrong and just hurts those around me." Failed loops, broken relationships. Lies, hate. He deserved it all. But it hurt nonetheless and he just couldn't take it anymore.

His mouth hung open for a moment, lips trembling before he closed it. Subaru gritted his teeth, as the flashes of memory passed rapidly through his mind. Everything, all of it, was just one, complete failure… and yet, after a few seconds of silence—

"You helped me," said Emilia. "You saved my life from Elsa. And Felt's too." She shifted around a bit, searching for Subaru's eyes. "Even if that doesn't mean much to you… I'll always give you credit for saving our lives."

"That's n—" He couldn't say these words. It was true—he did save them, and denying it would be nothing short of a lie. However, that had only become true after multiple tries, letting them down again and again. So how could he feel proud of that? If anything…

"I'll fail." He had failed, again and again. "I'll disappoint everyone again." Disappointed everyone around him. Couldn't save them, couldn't prevent it, couldn't stop it. "I'm just… scared."

Fear. Gnawing, dreadful fear had infested his heart. When he imagined Felt and Rom being unable to escape in time, or him being unable to stop them, he shivered. Not to mention, having to run into the Golden Coin gang again… and what fate might await him there. Knowing that if he messes up too badly, those few close to him might lose the little faith they had in him. Leaving him with nothing but disdain in the end. So there he was, looking like a picture of misery. Truly pathetic. He was sure to be seen as such.

So he looked up—and could see the pity in her gaze. Subaru gulped. How fitting, he must have disappointed her with his weakness already… Though, no, that wasn't quite it. Not that kind of pity. It wasn't condescending. He could see her slightly pained expression, however, it wasn't turned inward. She met his gaze, after all. That meant it was… empathetic? Did Emilia really not seem to think of him any lower than before?

Why didn't she? Did she think so little of him to begin with, that lowering her opinion of him was virtually impossible? …No, if that were the case, she hardly would hold him right now, offering to listen to his troubles while he was crying away his few shreds of pride.

Could he really try to entrust his burdens to her, taking off the immense pressure that lasted on his shoulders? That would be more than he would have dared ever to hope for.

"It's about something… Felt asked of me," Subaru eventually said, breaking the silence. His tears had begun to ebb as he tried to summon his courage.

"I didn't want to disappoint anyone, I swear. But… now I just don't see how I can do it. There's nothing I can do but disappoint her." Either by stopping her from getting to Rom, or being too late and unable to help Rom at all. Or—

"I told her I'd accompany her to her grandfather living in the slums. But it's… dangerous," he said with a slight shudder. "Really dangerous. So I don't know if I can do it…" Ashamed, he lowered his head, leaning against Emilia once more. There, he said it. Told Emilia of Felt's plan to visit the slums. This time he really ratted her out—what was an ad hoc lie in a previous loop, had become reality. Driven by his fear of what awaited them there.

"You want to go to the slums?" Emilia asked, audibly surprised. "Did you want to sneak out?" Her voice had something slightly accusing and reproaching was, however, without bite.

Subaru sighed. "Yeah… Just this afternoon though," he said, trying to excuse their plan. Or he would have, had his head not been resting comfortably close to Emilia's heart—he didn't let out much more than a muffled mumbling.

"I can't understand you like that—and it tickles," Emilia said, letting out a slight puff while smiling lightly.

"How's this?" she asked, scooting a bit backward. Subaru who was still wrapped around her and had no intention of letting go was pulled with her. But instead of landing unceremoniously on his face, since Emilia had shifted to the side a bit, he instead received—

"A… lap pillow?" When Emilia hugged him before, he had been too drowned in his fears and sorrows to fully comprehend it. But now that he regained a bit of his composure… finding himself in such a position, he stared wide-eyed at her.

"I just thought it might be easier to talk like that. Except if you don't wan—?"

"No, no!" he hastily interjected, not even wishing for the thought to cross her mind. "This is better than any fantasy… We could stay like this forever." Unbeknownst to her, she had granted him a long-felt wish. A lap pillow… just so that he could calm down even more.

"It's better to not kid around like that, Subaru. Others might get a reeaally wrong impression if they hear you say such things," she scolded mildly, though contrary to her words, her voice remained devoid of annoyance.

Though with the idea of others getting a wrong impression, a faint smile found its way to Subaru's lips. It seemed like some things just stuck around, no matter which loop. "If they get the impression that I like you, they'd be right."

Emilia shook her head. "Better tell me what you wanted to say before. About you and Felt sneaking out."

A bit disappointed, Subaru nodded. "It's as you said. We wanted to sneak out, just today. To let Felt's grandfather know that she's alright." Old man Rom was worried, and with people asking about Felt, it was only reasonable to do so. Even worse, he himself was in danger. And he didn't even expect it. "But the city's a mess right now, especially the slums. I've heard people talking about it…"

Subaru sighed. "Now I don't know if I could or should go there, but I also have to. Not only because I told Felt, but I think maybe her grandfather's in danger as well." He could hardly claim to know it would be true. "So that's why…"

Even though Subaru had calmed down a bit, he still wasn't sure how to best address his feelings. Especially since his fear stemmed from more than just their plan. Seemingly noticing his struggle, Emilia gently let her fingers glide through his hair, probably attempting to calm him even more.

"So that's why. I told Felt we could go. But now that I heard it's dangerous, that seems like a bad idea. Yet if it's dangerous, leaving her grandpa in danger isn't an option either," he said with a tired voice, his strained mind refocusing under Emilia's soothing touch. "I didn't want to disappoint her, but no matter what I'll do, Felt's going to be mad at me. Now I don't know what to do… Only that I have to do something. I seriously need some help."

Emilia patiently listened to him, and in the end, it was thanks to her acceptance that he was able to ask for help. While normally he would have been ashamed, or at least deeply reluctant to ask for help, convinced he doesn't deserve it… after this, there was a slight tinge of hope that she'd accept.

With hopeful eyes, he looked up to her, and indeed, she did seem to answ—

"Yo Subaru, you finally…!?" In the door frame stood Felt, staring wide-eyed at them, mouth agape. "Am I… interrupting something?" she asked, stepping inside and hastily closing the door behind her.

"Eh, Felt!? No, wait, it isn't—," Subaru said hastily, turning beet red. But when he attempted to lift his head, trying to get up… he couldn't?

"It's fine, isn't it? No need to be even more scared," said Emilia from above, continuing to play with his hair. Her other hand was resting on his shoulder, exerting light pressure, keeping his head on her lap.

Looking first embarrassed between Emilia and Felt—the latter throwing a questioning glance at his antics—he eventually relaxed again. A content smile was plastered across his face, as he said, "Emilia-tan's seriously an angel. EMT."

"There you go again, saying such things," Emilia chided, seemingly still not accepting Subaru's words of appreciation.

Felt shook her head. "You seriously got some guts, you know? The both of you… sheesh. Maybe more than's good for you, but I can respect that anyway." She walked over to them, grabbing a chair along the way, and sat the wrong way around down, crossing her arms and resting them and her head on the backrest. "Sorry for just intruding, but Carol was on my tail. Had to get away… but I didn't expect both of you to be here."

While Emilia raised an eyebrow, Subaru understood of course what she meant. After all, they were to set out from here to get to the city together. But…

"Sorry Felt. I… told Emilia. About the plan." Funnily enough… he didn't feel scared now. At least, not of admitting that to her. Her reaction on the other hand…

"What, why?" she asked, her immediate reaction going about as well as he thought. "Now we're never getting out of here." She put her palm on her face, showing her utter dissatisfaction. Well, that and her narrowed eyes which he could see through her fingers. Piercing him.

"I heard it's dangerous in the city right now, and the slums especially. So…"

"Man, I should have just gone alone. Even if they thought I might just want to flee, I'd be halfway in the slums now already," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Shouldn't have trusted you, I guess."

Subaru flinched. Hearing these words… yeah. He disappointed her, alright. Worse, he had just asked Emilia for help, but they actually didn't have a solution brought up, meaning he lacked any justification or alternative approach to better her impression again.

"Don't be so mean, Felt," Emilia said in a soft, yet decisive tone. "He's only been… worried."

Subaru's eyes widened once more, and Felt too seemed baffled. In his mind, Felt's words were absolutely justified. They were what he had expected already—and feared. He had utterly disappointed her, to the point where she questions even trusting him. What he didn't expect at all, even if he secretly wished for it, was that Emilia defended him.

"Worried about what? The slums being dangerous? They always are, that's nothing new," she said, waving her hand dismissively.

"It's more dangerous than usual, though, Felt!" Subaru stated, catching her off guard. "There's open fights in the streets and whatnot. Between whole gangs."

Felt frowned. "Sounds like a turf war, huh." But upon seeing Subaru nodding along to her comment, she squinted her eyes. "How'd you know about that?"

"Overheard it," he said quickly. Technically not a lie, he had heard people talking about it… even if Felt was among them.

Felt hummed, crossing her arms. "Makes sense that you're worried, I guess. Turf wars can be dangerous, so if you'd want to avoid that… I guess it's not wrong," she said, looking worriedly out to the city. "But that still doesn't explain why you'd snitch on me."

"It's because I didn't want to avoid it! If it's dangerous in the slums, your grandpa might be even more worried. Or he could be in danger himself," Subaru said, though the latter part was not more than a mumble.

"I doubt that I should be too worried about granpa… but I guess I should take it back. If you're even worried about granpa, you might be a worrywart, but not a bad guy." A grin had found its way on Felt's face, easing Subaru's mind a bit. "Still, you kinda ruined that plan now, didn't you? Not like we can sneak out now."

It was as Subaru expected, though. Felt would not consider Rom to be in danger. Even if Felt didn't hold it against him to avoid going now… she surely would if something were to happen to him.

"We have to," Subaru said sternly. "We have to get to your grandpa today, no matter what."

"I don't really get it… But maybe you should have considered that before busting the plan, then," Felt said with a sigh.

"Is it really that important to go today, Subaru?" Emilia asked, having resorted to merely listening to them both so far. "Is that why…?"

"Mhm," Subaru confirmed, nodding. "Really important."

Emilia studied Subaru's face, who had kept a serious expression throughout. "I see. If that's the case Felt-chan, you don't need to worry… I won't stop you. After all, it's also my fault for you having gotten dragged into all of this," she said with a weak smile.

"We already talked about that, big sis. I took a job and it went wrong. If anything, you should be mad at me—I know I would if I were you," she said, throwing her arms up in the air. It sounded quite critical. "… But wait. Did you just say you don't mind?"

Emilia nodded. "Well… not minding it might be a bit much. But I won't stop you. I wouldn't want to leave Puck worried either, so I can understand if you wish to see your family. Especially since Subaru here is so insistent on it as well. He reeaally wants to stay true to what he told you, no?"

While Emilia's reassuring words were true, they also didn't change much as of yet. Just with her not objecting of them going to the slums… that didn't make it any less dangerous there.

"So Emilia, about what I asked before…" he said, almost meekly, with Felt being around. He wasn't above asking for help really, but it still was nowhere near easy for him.

Under both, Felt's questioning and Subaru's pleading look, Emilia closed her eyes. She remained so for a few moments, before she made a decisive nod. "Alright," she said, looking to Subaru. Her fingers, still coursing through his hair, hardened for a moment, and her eyes narrowed with determination. "I won't object to it under one condition; I want to accompany you."

---

Author's note:

Now, first of all, a bombastic "thank you so much!" to the beta-reader of this chapter, [LookingGlassInsect]! Alone for the 4k words session, which drained us both thoroughly. And then it's also been the longest and… heaviest chapter, so far, I dare say, so really, my sincerest gratitude!

*Edit: There is an amazing artwork done by Barto, which Touman has comissioned! Check out Barto's Twitter (RealBarto / ZeroBarto) to get to see it, as I sadly can't link to anything, or show the artwork on ff. Regardless, thank you so much to the both of you!*

I have read multiple times in various places that some hope this conflict would stick to be in the true loop. Well… as you can see in this chapter, that sadly isn't the case. I did consider it during early planning, and while there might be some deaths in the future, I didn't want to off Rom without giving him any time to appear in the story outside of his death. That, and with potential timing issues otherwise, it sadly didn't line up.

Comments since Chapter 7: A Day of Lies

Chris8719 (Chapter 6): I have to agree, I think Felt and Subaru could've been great friends early on, with Arc 1 showing some nice dynamics, which I certainly would have appreciated more than… other things. But as in canon, we'll have to consider Emilia's and Felt's position, and the ruling of the Sage Council that candidates aren't to interact before the selection, so… we'll see.

Noone: What. A. Review. First, rest assured, I seriously appreciate such a review, and to hear that you had written one for last chapter, but then didn't post it, made me sad. So thanks for the kind words, and the great shown interest in the story with it!

Now digging in; There is an "also" where you list positives, so I presume a sentence got swallowed at the begin? Then again, what more is there to mention than plot, characters and their relationships and development. And I'm happy to hear you think so highly of this "original" Arc 2, as one could phrase it. Though I'm just happy all the planning worked out, and won't necessarily ascribe it to skill.

My beta-readers seriously helped, especially already for the point you also mentioned, description. Funnily enough though, I had already written the loot house description used in this chapter before you mentioned it, so I hope that shows a bit of development into the right direction in that regard.

As for the content of the chapter itself; I wouldn't necessarily say Emilia's morals are based on simple ideas, but rather just idealistic. Which is theoretically a legitimate position to have, though practically that also means one sets impossible standards. And as such are bound to clash with reality. However, I agree that it's sad that Emilia doesn't get to keep these memories and the possible following development. At least it's nice to see that if faced with such an issue, she is capable to do so. And as you said, given Subaru's unique situation, it'll surely come up again, one way or another.

Subaru on the other hand seemed to not have yet fully realized the lesson, or rejected it still—though it seems he did now, to some extent.

As for the rest of the arc; The thought with the lockdown being not entirely related to Elsa is certainly interesting. As for Puck, I dare say we'll get a bit of insight in the next chapter. And I hope tension and catharsis in this chapter were well-balanced. Since… let's say, both were quite high.

Let me say at the end, that please, by all means let me know of your thoughts. It's really nice to see someone so engaged with the story, not because it gives an ego boost or anything, but simply because it's nice to see interest and hear thoughts on something one writes.^^

Chris8719 (Chapter 7): I hope you're not too disappointed, as sadly there wasn't a way to let the loop stick. Some things are also hard to take back, so it might be better, at least in Felt's case, for it to be gone for good. Of course considering Rom was really dead.

alankordel958 (Chapter 1): Thanks! It wasn't easy to make the sentences that interconnected, so I'm happy to hear you appreciated / liked it.

And indeed, it is an Undertale reference, glad you recognized it. :)

Hmm, so Subaru resembling a Witch / Warlock? I wonder. After all, Emilia said these words in this chapter again.

alankordel958 (Chapter 7): It is indeed intentional. Subaru says it correctly, "grandpa", but Felt has her own speech-gimmick, making it "granpa" instead.

As for the analysis, I've read the idea of him being a Warlock now a couple of times, so it's certainly not an idea that far out. Though to see if it is correct, for that we'll have to wait for future chapters.