SR - Chapter 5 - Her Past

For the second time, Gawr Gura woke up restrained to a chair in the Hololive English HQ. She didn't struggle against the chains. It was already lucky that they hadn't killed her. Maybe her good track record had kept her alive for now.

"Damn it…" she mumbled out. Her entire body felt heavy from all of the struggling that had occurred the night before. She looked around at the all too familiar room and saw no one. They had just left her here alone.

"Do they hate me…?" she asked herself. Her relationships had been going so well, but now they were gone. She'd just tried to kill one of her friends and had proved that she wasn't in control of Primal after all.

And worst of all, she remembered her past.

The previous memories she had were gone, replaced by new ones she knew to be true. How far had she repressed these? Did her mind do that to protect her, or was she afraid of remembering? Gura felt tears run down her cheeks. Quiet sobs racked her body and she curled up into as small of a figure as the restraints would allow.

An indeterminate amount of time passed before, "Gura?!" the voice of Amelia, the girl she had just tried to kill, floated into the room. The Atlantean only raised her head far enough to see that there was no one else in the room. Her voice was coming from the speaker system.

"Gura, I'm sorry, but they won't let me in there to talk to you. I've tried to explain what happened-" Amelia began to explain, but she was interrupted.

"Just fucking leave!" Gura shouted at the one-way glass. "I almost killed you! All of this is my fault! Don't fucking pity me before I get thrown out!" She shrank back into herself and continued to cry lightly. A few seconds of silence followed.

"Gura, I did this to you." Amelia's voice sounded regretful.

"None of this was your fault, Ame…" Gura responded quietly.

"I Destabilized you!" Amelia got her point through, "I brought out a different version of you. That thing tried to kill me, not you." Gura thought back on her dream just before her rampage.

'God you're pathetic. I can't believe that this is who I turned into.' The words of Primal Gura were clear. This was some other version of her.

"I-I had a dream," Gura mumbled just loud enough to hear, "I was in dark waters and another version of myself swam up to me. She said she wanted my body and that's when I saw myself attacking you…" Her explanation was good enough that the door to the room buzzed and opened. Amelia, Ina, and Emersyn all walked in.

"You're lucky to have such amazing friends around you, Ms. Gawr," Emersyn stated before unlocking all of the restraints.

"We had to talk them out of putting a shock collar on you," Ina said quietly. Gura's eyes went wide and she recoiled a little.

"Talk about humane and equal treatment…" Amelia mocked. Emersyn sighed.

"That was very extreme of them. I am the one who is supposed to keep Ms. Gawr in check. I don't understand why they would try to go behind my back like that." Gura didn't know what to do. She continued to sit in the chair she'd just been freed of.

"What's wrong, Gura?" Amelia asked innocently.

"T-There's something I need to tell all of you." All three other girls stared at her, waiting for her to continue. Gura took a deep breath, "I remember a lot more about my past."

"I thought you already did?" Ina asked, confused at what Gura was saying. Gura shook her head.

"That was all a lie. Some fucked up replacement memories to hide what really happened back then." Amelia tilted her head to the side.

"What did happen, Gura? I don't think you've ever told me about your past," Amelia asked carefully.

"I also would like to be filled in. If this can help us solve your Primal issue, I need to know about it." Emersyn sat down on the other chair across from Gura.

Ina filled them both in on what Gura's previous memories had been. Amelia looked horrified, while Emersyn only had a mild frown.

"That's terrible!" Amelia screamed out. Gura looked down at the table, trying to avoid eye contact.

"But that's not what actually happened…"

Gura was born into a nice family over 9000 years ago. Her mom and dad loved her unconditionally from the day she was born. However, over the next few centuries one thing would become apparent.

Gura was incredibly strong.

Even for an Atlantean, the small girl exhibited incredible strength. It became so amazing that the military requested to train her.

"Normally, we wouldn't ever ask such a young girl to join. But we are in dire need of strong warriors like yourself," one general said to her and her family.

"I don't understand you people!" her dad lashed out at the man, "Can't you see how small she is? The battlefield is no place for someone like her, so stop asking!" The general was promptly kicked out of their house.

Her dad was always against this. He always insisted that she was just a small, frail girl who would never hurt a fly. Her mom went along with this, although she was more hesitant.

She insisted that Gura get super-nutrient food to help her growing appetite. This was normally reserved only for warriors in the military. But it was a life saver that Gura got some.

Until she didn't.

Just over 800 years ago, a Priestess got incredibly close to the city of Atlantis. Farms on the outskirts of the city were evacuated and turned into military encampments. This cut the supply of incoming food in half. The citizens were forced to ration and Gura lost access to her super-nutrient food.

For a few long months Gura's physical health deteriorated, leaving her bedridden. Even getting most of her family's food wasn't enough to fill her up. It would never be enough.

And one night, her body snapped.

Primal Gura was let loose for the first time, killing the entire population of Atlantis.

"A-Are you sure that's what happened, Gura?" Ina asked after the Atlantean had finished her story.

"I killed them… I killed them…" Gura rambled.

"Why would she remember all of this now?" Emersyn asked, specifically directing the question at Amelia. The time traveler thought for a bit. Her previous timeline's Ina had said something about remembering other timelines…

"This could be memories of other timelines," she stated. Gura shook her head.

"No, they're mine. I pushed them so far down because I didn't want to remember them. I didn't want to live with the guilt that I had killed my entire race…" Gura murmured out.

"How is that even possible? How can one rogue person kill an entire city of people?" Emersyn asked, not really expecting an answer from Gura right now.

"AO-chan says that there were very few Atlanteans left by that point. Only a few thousand, most being warriors that they themselves killed," Ina chimed in with the knowledge of the Ancient Ones. Amelia nodded.

"So there would've only been a couple hundred in the city. Wait, why was AO-chan going after Atlantis?" Amelia asked Ina. She still wasn't entirely comfortable talking with the Priestess. But after seeing her defend her the night previous, it was getting a lot easier.

"They wanted something from them. But after they were all killed, AO-chan never was able to find Atlantis."

"That's because it's cloaked and rigged with defense systems," Gura interjected.

"AO-chan agrees with that," Ina confirmed, "Even though they knew generally where Atlantis was, it always seemed just out of reach. Like it was always receding just as fast as they approached it." Amelia tried to envision that.

"Like never being able to reach the end of a rainbow," she said. Emersyn agreed.

"So we need to head back to Atlantis for two different reasons," Ina stated her plan. Amelia nodded.

"I'll start packing," Amelia said as she began to walk over to the door.

"You don't need to worry about that, I can just teleport us-"

"Unfortunately, no one is going anywhere right now!" Emersyn's voice cut above everyone else's. All three talents looked at their manager. "After the events of last night, the last two talents have confirmed they are going to join us. They also requested that they meet all three of you in your current situation. So no trips will be taken until they arrive."

"What gives them the right to tell us what to do? Gura is in serious danger of going Primal here!" Amelia argued back. Emersyn didn't flinch.

"I don't believe that would help Gura contain her Primal instincts right now. You said it yourself, Ms. Watson, she got Destabilized into two different things." Amelia gritted her teeth since she knew that Emersyn was right.

"But-"

"Enma is right," Gura spoke up, "I can hear her whispering to me. She wants me to let her out again. If I get near Atlantis right now, I'm sure that my emotions will get too much to handle." Amelia slumped her shoulders in defeat.

"So what can we do then?" Ina asked. Emersyn, for once, didn't have an answer. Instead, she turned and looked at the Atlantean.

"What should we do, Ms. Gawr."

"I-I need a break," Gura said before standing up and beginning to leave. Emersyn sighed and accompanied her out of the door and up to her room. Ina and Amelia were left standing there, feeling completely useless.

Gura sat alone in her room. She was sure Emersyn was standing just outside, though. They had rigged something up so that Gura would have a hard time leaving in the middle of the night. Hopefully it would stop her before something horrible happened again.

Her mind and heart were all over the place. Everything she'd thought she'd known had just been torn apart.

She had killed her parents.

The purple fluid was just their blood.

Her hands and body had never been clean. They were covered in a mixture of her own and others' blood. It was where her tail had gotten the piece taken out of it.

Her mind had hidden all of those details because she didn't want to remember.

But now she did.

And she couldn't deal with it.

There was talking outside of her door, soon followed by a knock.

"Gura, it's me, Ame," her friend's voice drifted in.

"Come in…" she responded, barely audible. Amelia opened the door and closed it behind her. She sat down on the other side of the bed that Gura was on. Her mind was in just as big of a mess as Gura. How could she help her friend?

"I have some good news, I think," she said slowly. Gura looked at her with dead eyes. They made Amelia shiver, but she continued anyways, "I think that this all might be just temporary. Those memories might not even be your own-"

"They are, Ame. I already told you, but I hope you're right about that outburst being temporary." Amelia put a hand on the Atlantean's shoulder. Gura flinched slightly under the caring touch.

"My power lets me bring other possibilities into this timeline. So I think I let a Gura who was Primal into here and she took control of you for a bit." Gura wasn't put at ease by her words.

"I really, really hope so…" Gura curled up into a ball and laid on her side. Amelia continued to sit on her bed in silence. There was something even more important to talk about right now.

"It isn't your fault, Gura," Amelia said with care. Gura pulled herself further into a ball.

"I guess, but it was still my hands, my teeth that killed them all." Amelia clenched her fist.

"Do you love your parents?" she asked. Gura rolled over and looked at her. Her eyes were dotted with tears.

"I think so," she answered. Amelia sighed. This was going to be very painful.

"Your parents hurt you, Gura." Gura was slightly angered by this. Her eyes grew larger as she stared at Amelia.

"What do you mean? They loved me!" Amelia bit her lip to stop it from quivering.

"They did, but they only loved the part that was cute and small."

"They-" Gura started, but stopped short. Amelia's words bounced around in her head, becoming truer with every second. "No, no, no, no…" Amelia put a hand on her grieving friend.

"I'm sorry Gura. They denied your strength and power in favor of having a cute little daughter." Gura remembered all of the times that her dad had gotten angry at her when she'd been caught messing around with her strength. He didn't even want her to eat the super-nutrient food, claiming it would make her too big.

"Why…" Gura was reduced to only asking one word questions again.

"I don't want you to hate them. They sounded nice and caring, but you need to embrace that side they didn't. It is still a part of who you are," Amelia explained the rest of her point. Gura clung to Amelia's arm and began to cry.

"Ok… I'll try…" she said between sobs. Amelia now understood what it felt like to be the comforter in this situation. She hoped that her own Ina and Gura would approve of her actions. She was doing a good job, right?

Amelia left her room after letting Gura cry all she wanted. The Atlantean was happy to have met her. With her new resolve, she drifted into a sleep where she knew something waited for her.

The time traveler wasn't right about it being a one-off.

Author's Note: The big twist is here. I've been trying to elude to it since the beginning flashback. Gura seeing visions of her parents being murdered, so she's in her Primal state killing them. Her hunger being so overwhelming when she goes unconscious, but not a problem once she wakes up. I hope it didn't come too far out of left field, but that's been the plan the whole time.

Primal Gura is in an interesting state now. I wouldn't say she's being malicious, just trying to do the only thing she knows how. Kill. There is more to her in the upcoming chapter, so I'll leave my full ramble for then.

Speaking of next chapter, it is the last one in 'Shattered Reflections'. Time sure does fly, doesn't it? That means chapter uploads are going to slow dramatically after that, as we are almost caught up to where the story is on AO3. I will say when it goes full weekly on Fridays, but it will be slowing as we approach that point. I'm very excited for this last chapter, though. All I can say is trust me, it's good.

Next Chapter: Stop Running

Any feedback/criticism is appreciated!