Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, only the Archard family and other OCs belong to me. The French words/phrases will be italicized, as well as the spells. Reviews are appreciated!

Chapter 8: Nibbering Nonce

Esme POV

"Esme, it's time to get up."

I groaned and rolled away from the noise that was disturbing my sleep.

"Come on, wake up…Pansy said she's smarter than you."

I snorted and opened my eyes, gazing up at Daphne standing near my bed. "That's the best you could do?"

"It got you to open your eyes, didn't it?" Daphne asked with an impish smile. "Now get up before the other girls do and hog all the sinks."

"Alright~" I leaned up and stretched, sighing happily. I felt refreshed and ready for the first day of classes. Daphne and I got ready, finishing up just as Parkinson, Bulstrode, and Davis staggered into the washroom themselves.

"Only a nerd like you would be happy to be up early like this. The morning is evil," groaned Parkinson as she pushed past me to get to the nearest sink.

I rolled my eyes at her poorly attempted insult. "Perhaps, though best hurry if you want to tame that bird's nest and wash away that troll breath."

"Like yours is any better," shot back Bulstrode in her friend's defense, though it didn't matter as Daphne and I left the washroom without another word.

Daphne giggled as she grabbed her school bag while I used my mirror to pin my snake pin to my green and silver tie. "We've barely begun our Second-Year and you two are already exchanging barbs."

"Honestly at this point, it's expected. If we didn't exchange insults, I'd fear one of us was deathly ill," I replied with a wry smile as I grabbed my own bag and followed Daphne out of our dormitory.

We were both still giggling as we entered the common room, joining the small trickle of students ambling their way towards the entrance. After double checking the password (it was still Viridi et Argenteo), Daphne and I joined the flow of students and made our way to the great hall for breakfast.

As it was still relatively early in the morning, the hall wasn't overly filled with students yet. I was pleasantly surprised to see most of the Slytherin First-Years clustered together at the end of the table, blearily eating their breakfast under the cloudy grey enchanted sky above them.

Two of the boys were the only ones missing, though Rodger, Oliver's young brother, wasn't one of them. I wondered if I should be extra friendly with him because our brothers were close friends, but as Daphne and I sat down, I quickly decided not to. I wouldn't want someone taking special interest in me because of someone else - being polite was a given, but not going out of the way kind of friendly - so I certainly wouldn't treat Rodger that way.

While Daphne selected her own breakfast from the various tureens of porridge and plates of kippers, toast, eggs, and bacon, I poured myself my morning cup of tea. I sighed in bliss as what little tiredness clinging to me vanished as I sipped it, and then fixed myself a plate.

Students continued to trickle in, the four tables slowly filling up and the noise began to grow as students chattered and greeted one another. A sudden silence heralded the entrance of Potter and Weasley who shuffled over to seats at the Gryffindor table, heads down as they avoided the stares fixated on them as the murmuring of the students picked up again. It was good those two at least appeared contrite about their actions yesterday. Hopefully they were appropriately punished seeing as they weren't expelled.

When I saw Neville settle himself not far from the two troublesome Gryffindors, the frown I wasn't aware was on my face vanished as I managed to catch his eye and smile in greeting - one which he quickly returned. My view of him was cut off when Theo and Blaise sat down across from Daphne and I, Theo unleashing a long yawn.

"How late did the two of you stay up last night?" asked Daphne, more amused than concerned about their tiredness.

"Honestly, not that late. We only played one round of Wizard's Chess," said Theo as he fixed himself his own cup of tea. He then pointed his thumb at Blaise. "This one however, woke me up extra early because he needed to borrow my comb since he apparently forgot his."

"Really? You forgot something as important as your comb?" I teased Blaise, waving my empty fork in his direction.

"Shocking, I know," admitted Blaise. "But Theo hardly needs his comb with his hair so short." Blaise flicked his head, his ebony curls fluttering before they settled. "Gorgeous locks like mine need gentle care."

Theo snorted into his arm, poorly covering up a snicker. "Mate, you care way too much about your hair for a bloke."

"Boy, girl, it doesn't matter in my opinion," said Blaise. "Everyone should take care with their appearance, or else they'll end up looking like bushy-haired Granger."

We all turned around, easily spotting said hair. Granger remained unaware of her surroundings as her face was shoved into what was clearly one of Lockhart's books leaned against one of the drink jugs. We all snickered as we returned to our plates of food. Granger really did have the most atrociously bushy curls I'd ever seen; she really should find better products for her hair.

A chorus of owl hoots, cries, and whistles soon filled the great hall as hundreds of owls streamed in, circling through the enchanted clouds as they dropped off packages and letters to their recipients. Blaise glanced up just in time to catch a medium square package before it landed on his plate of food. A gorgeous and sleek screech owl settled itself on the table near Blaise and proceeded to start preening Blaise's hair.

"Twila, stop it!" whined Blaise as he shooed the owl away from him. Twila only chirped at Blaise as she flapped her wings at him before taking off.

The three of us giggled as Blaise went about fixing his ruffled hair with an annoyed look on face.

Splat!

We all stopped and turned towards the noise, only to laugh and giggle. Some owl had apparently had a less than graceful landing, having fallen into one of the jugs, spraying Granger, Potter, and Weasley with whatever was in it. Weasley had just put down the poor unconscious owl onto the table when a shout rang out, "Look everyone! Weasley's got himself a Howler!"

Dead silence filled the great hall as everyone became fixated at the notorious red envelope still clutched in the bedraggled owl's beak. I'd never actually seen one before, though I heard about them from my older siblings, as they had witnessed a few while attending Beauxbatons. Unsurprisingly, Weasley looked absolutely terrified and refused to touch it - not that doing so would stop the inevitable.

Smoke began to rise from the corners of the envelope just as Weasley shakingly reached out and took it. I waited with baited breath as he slowly reached for the black waxed seal. Even though I had been expecting it, I still flinched when the shrill roar rang out.

"RONALD WEASLEY!"

I quickly covered my ears with my hands as the envelope folded itself into the appearance of a face, thankfully muffling the continued tirade of Madame Weasley magically berating her youngest son.

"How dare you steal that car! I am absolutely disgusted! I don't suppose you stopped to think what your father and I went through when we saw it was gone! You and Harry could both have died! You wait till I get hold of you, I wouldn't have been surprised if they'd expelled you!"

Madame Weasley's yells were so loud, I saw the cutlery and empty plates rattling on the table, and seemed to echo off the stone walls. Weasley had sunk as far he could on the wooden bench, his face redder than his hair.

"-Letter from Dumbledore last night, I thought your father would die of shame. We didn't bring you up to behave like this! Your father's now facing an inquiry at work and it's entirely your fault! If you put another toe out of line, we'll bring you straight home!"

The last line of Madame Weasley's rant rang before there was only silence. The red envelope then floated over to little Ginny sitting a couple of places down from her brother. In a jarringly soft voice, it went on to say, "Oh and Ginny dear, congratulations on being sorted into Gryffindor. Your father and I are so proud!"

No one moved as the red envelope burst into flames, curling in itself as it turned to ash. Someone began laughing - someone being Draco - with others throughout the hall joining in. Daphne nudged me and we both snickered at the stunned faces of Potter and Weasley.

I didn't feel even a smidge of pity for Weasley. This embarrassment in front of the entire school was the least he (and by association, Potter) deserved for breaking the Statute of Secrecy. They probably weren't expelled or worse because of Dumbledore wanting to protect his precious Gryffindors.

"I'll remember that look on Weasley's face for years to come!" Draco announced to the table, earning a few more snickers from people, though most everyone had gone back to their own conversations.

Blaise finally opened his package - his mother had sent along his forgotten comb as well as some extra ink and some sort of product for his hair. While he was happy his mother sent these things to him, his mood soured when he read the letter she sent along with it. She had written in Italian, and since none of us spoke more than five words of it, we had to coax Blaise into translating.

"My mother wrote that she's pregnant."

"Congratulations?" I offered hesitantly.

"What's got your wand in a knot, mate?" asked Theo.

"It's not the fact I may be getting another sibling. My mother has always wanted another child, specifically a girl. But it's the fact that she chose to write the news to me instead of telling me in person because she wanted to avoid me reacting poorly in front of Giovanni."

I winced in empathy. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Blaise."

"It does stink," comforted Daphne, placing her hand over his on the table. "But try to focus on the fact that you'll be a big brother this time next year!"

A sudden sob interrupted our conversation. We all looked over to see Parkinson holding her hands to her face before she bolted from the table and out of the great hall. Bulstrode quickly grabbed both their things and hurried after her friend.

"What just happened?" I quickly asked Davis who had started to rise as well.

She froze as she seemed to realize everyone in our part of the table was staring at her for answers. She hesitated, but then sat back down. "Um…well, what Greengrass said sort of reminded Pansy of some sad news."

"What did I say wrong?" asked Daphne in a perplexed voice.

Davis clearly didn't want to say. "Spill it, Davis," ordered Draco, as he paused from eating to her down through her glasses.

And spill she did. "Pansy's mother was expecting a baby. She told Pansy she would be a big sister when she got home for summer break, but…there's no baby anymore…" As Davis trailed off, the rest of us were dead silent. I may not like Parkinson, but that was just…heartbreaking to hear. No wonder she reacted the way she did…I actually felt guilty about this morning.

The oppressing silence was broken when Professor Snape cleared his throat. All of us were startled, not realizing the professor had even left the high table. "Your schedules," he intoned with a bored voice, then proceeded to pass out a piece of parchment to each of us in turn. With both Parkinson and Bulstrode missing, Professor Snape handed their schedules to Davis with a sharp reminder there were no excuses to be late for class.

"Thank you, sir," I said politely, though Professor Snape hardly spared any of us a glance before he moved on to the Third-Years.

I looked over my schedule, only to groan. "We have double Herbology first thing today."

"Yes, but then we have History of Magic, thus can enjoy being lulled to sleep by Professor Binns' voice," Theo pointed out.

Daphne chimed in from beside me, "We also have Defense Against the Dark Arts later. I bet my wand we share it and Herbology with Gryffindor again this year."

"Joy," Blaise sarcastically replied.

"Any chance Know-It-All Granger got a clue over summer break?" asked Theo.

I snickered. "As likely as a Goblin giving away free gold."

"Honestly, the Gryffindors would be tolerable in class if it wasn't for Granger," said Daphne as we all gathered our things to head to our first class. "The less I have to share a classroom with her, the better."

"You know, she may even be worse this year since she wasn't ranked first in our Year last term," I pointed out. "She might feel like she needs to try harder to surpass Draco."

They all groaned at the thought. "Yeah, but those rankings are based on the final exams, not our performance in class," Theo pointed out. "She'd have better luck studying overmuch than obsessively answering all the questions in class."

"Know-It-All might go for both just to prove she can," countered Blaise.

"Well rankings are all a long way away. Let's just focus on right now," I advised, internally dreading Herbology class first-thing.

"Alright, though don't look too excited for your favorite class, Esme," teased Daphne as she bumped my shoulder.

"Tais-toi!"

The three of them shared a laugh at my expense, though I soon joined in as I wasn't really offended. We left the castle behind and made our way to the greenhouses. As we neared them, we saw several other Slytherin and Gryffindor Second-Years gathered outside, including Parkinson, Bulstrode, and Davis.

"Why are you waiting out here?" asked Blaise.

All the girls, both Slytherin and Gryffindor, didn't even acknowledge Blaise as they were staring intently at something in the distance. It was one of the Gryffindor boys (no idea what his name was) who answered. "We're waiting for Professor Sprout. Her and Professor Lockhart are fixing up the whomping willow."

Looking over, there indeed stood the large willow with several branches in slings while there were small piles of broken branches littered across the ground. Potter and Weasley must really have done some serious damage last night. Though I may be close to the worst at Herbology, it seemed odd to me that the treatment for the whomping willow was bandages of all things.

Professor Sprout then came bustling into view with her arms full of bandages, Professor Lockhart following not far after, his arms completely empty. He appeared to be jabbering away while Professor Sprout looked quite disgruntled. The two made quite an odd pair; Professor Sprout almost always had dirt on her hands and robes, while Professor Lockhart appeared immaculate in his fancy turquoise robes.

"Oh hello there!" called out Professor Lockhart when he noticed us. "Just been showing Professor Sprout the right way to doctor a whomping willow. But I don't want you running away with the idea that I'm better at Herbology than she is! I just happen to have met several of these exotic plants on my travels."

"What can bandages do to help a tree, magical or otherwise?" questioned Theo.

"Shut it, Theo!" snapped Parkinson. "If Professor Lockhart said to do it, then it will help!"

Theo grumbled a bit but said nothing else to argue further. I knew we'd all be treating Parkinson a bit differently for a while after what Davis told us. While she had no visible signs of her earlier breakdown, we knew it happened and why, and none of us were so awful as to either mention it or even offer words of sympathy. If Parkinson didn't want to talk to us about it, then we would honor her privacy and pretend we didn't know anything.

Glancing to my side, I frowned when I saw that Daphne had joined the other girls and was admiring Professor Lockhart as he directed Professor Sprout about. How could they be so admiring of him when he was not even helping Professor Sprout, leaving her to do all the work.

Before I could say something to my friend, Professor Sprout had marched over to us (her usual smile nowhere in sight). "Greenhouse three today, chaps!"

Murmurs of interest broke out as we followed the professor to the greenhouse - who supposedly housed more dangerous and lively plants than any of the ones we previously worked with in greenhouse one or two. I, however, was distinctly nervous as I dreaded the no doubt increased difficulty of dealing with these plants. Please Mother Magic, let some of the skills and knowledge Neville had painstakingly cultivated last year remain with me over the summer (or else this would be a long year of pain and frustration).

Professor Sprout unlocked the door with a large key from her belt before ushering us in. The air was heavy with damp earth, fertilizer, and a heady scent of flowers - most likely the giant umbrella-sized flower dangling from the roof above us.

"Harry!"

We all turned to see Professor Lockhart with his hand on Potter's shoulder in the greenhouse doorway.

"I've been wanting a word." He then looked up to Professor Sprout. "You don't mind if he's a couple of minutes late, do you, Professor Sprout?" By the tense set of her shoulders, she did mind. "That's the ticket," he said before she could answer, and actually closed the greenhouse door in Professor Sprout's face.

How rude!

All of us shifted back when Professor Sprout turned around sharply, an honest to Magic scowl on her face.

"Merlin's pants, she really doesn't like him," whispered Blaise.

"Can you blame her?" Theo whispered back.

"He has to be really something else to get Professor Sprout that upset," I added in the same hushed tone. "I didn't even think she could scowl."

After a couple of deep breaths, Professor Sprout's usual smile stretched across her face. "Alright chaps, line up along the trestle bench there."

Everyone obeyed without a sound, naturally settling in front of one of the many different colored earmuffs lying spread out on the bench. I ended up between Theo and Draco and noticed that Granger and Weasley made sure to leave a space between them for Potter. We all had finally settled in our spots when Potter slid inside the greenhouse, pointedly looking at the ground.

"We'll be repotting mandrakes today," announced Professor Sprout. "Now, who can tell me the properties of the mandrake?"

Both Theo and Draco raised their hands, but they weren't as fast as Granger, whose hand shot into the air before the professor even finished asking her question. To nobody's surprise, the professor called on Granger.

"Mandrake, or mandragora, is a powerful restorative," recited Granger. "It is used to return people who have been transfigured or cursed to their original state."

I rolled my eyes. She hadn't changed at all over the summer break. She still sounded like she repeated the very words in a book aloud as if she didn't have an original thought in her head.

"Excellent. Ten points to Gryffindor," said Professor Sprout. "The mandrake forms an essential part of most antidotes. It is also, however, dangerous. Who can tell me why?"

Granger's hand shot up first once again. Without being called on, I saw Granger open her mouth about to answer, when to all our surprise, Professor Sprout cut her off. "Yes, Mr. Nott?"

I heard Draco snicker beside me as I watched Granger's face flush red.

Theo answered, "A mature mandrake's cry will cause death to any living thing that can hear it."

"Precisely. Ten points to Slytherin."

I knew I wasn't the only Slytherin who was happy she actually called on someone other than Granger. Though honestly, if it wasn't for the House points, I doubted anyone would bother trying to answer when Granger felt she had to answer every single question. I mean, none of the other Gryffindors even tried to raise their hands at this point.

"Now, the mandrakes we have here are still very young," Professor Sprout said as she pointed to the row of deep trays where a hundred of tufty little purplish green plants were growing, "so their cries won't kill you yet, but they could knock you out for several hours. Which is why I have laid out for each of you a pair of earmuffs for auditory protection."

We all took that as a cue to pick up our own pair, several people scrambling as they tried to seize a pair that wasn't pink and fluffy. I had little care of what color they were and simply picked up the fuchsia ones in front of me.

"When I tell you to put them on, make sure your ears are completely covered," explained Professor Sprout as she picked up her own pair of green and brown earmuffs. "When it is safe to remove them, I will give the thumbs up. Right, earmuffs on."

Following her example, I quickly snapped the earmuff over my ears, patting them down to ensure the flaps covered my entire ear tightly. I blinked in amazement as I realized they truly did block out all sound - it was a very weird feeling.

Professor Sprout waved her hands, catching everyone's attention. She then rolled up the sleeves of her robes, grasped one of the tufty plants firmly and pulled up hard. Just as they were pictured in our textbook, the mandrake resembled a baby made out of roots, and it was clearly bawling at the top of its lungs as it wiggled slightly from where it dangled from Professor Sprout's hand.

She then took a large plant pot from under the table and plunged the mandrake into it, burying it in dark and damp looking dirt until only the tufted leaves were visible. Professor Sprout dusted off her hands, gave us the thumbs up, and removed her own earmuffs.

I carefully pulled back the earmuffs from my ears and settled them around my neck. "Now there's plenty of pots to go around. No more than four to a tray. You'll find compost in the sacks over there and do be careful of the venomous tentacula, it's teething." She gave a sharp slap to the spiky, dark red plant as she spoke, making it draw in the long feelers that had been inching sneakily over her shoulder. "And remember, make sure your earmuffs are securely in place while you work. I will attract your attention when it is time to pack up."

I went to go over where Daphne was heading when I felt someone grab my hand. Turning around, I saw it was Draco. "Esme, would you like to come with me to a tray over there?"

While I had wanted to work with my friends, I remember my promise to myself to try harder to be friends with Draco, so I agreed, though I took my hand out of Draco's grasp. I followed him to the nearby tray where Goyle was already standing with Parvati Patil - who was putting as much distance between herself and Goyle as she could.

"I think the mandrakes are kind of cute," commented Draco as we got our supplies ready.

Giggling I replied, "I suppose they are for something that can kill with their voice."

After that we didn't have any more chances to talk, as Professor Sprout ordered everyone to get started, so our earmuffs were back in place. Draco went first and after a few tugs, yanked up the nearest mandrake by its leaves. While it squirmed in his hand, Draco was smiling as he actually tickled it with his finger.

The mandrake apparently didn't like it as it promptly bit his finger, hard enough that Draco really had to pull to get his finger out of its mouth. I found it funny and couldn't help but laugh. While Draco couldn't hear me, he did glance over at me, and seeing my amusement, he blushed in embarrassment.

Giving him a reprieve, I turned back the tray to get started on my own mandrake. Goyle had already yanked up his in a single tug, but I found it wasn't as easy as they had made it look. I felt the mandrake fighting against my tugs, so I had to use both hands to finally yank it out of the pot. Mine appeared more agitated than Draco's as it was both squirming and kicking, swinging from where I held it up with both hands as it flailed its little fists.

Across from me, Parvati was still struggling to get her mandrake out of the pot. I paused with mine still wiggling around in my hands as Goyle abandoned burying his mandrake to reach over and grasp onto Parvati's. She instantly let go at the contact, a startled look on her face. We both watched, wide-eyed as Goyle heaved it up with one tug and easily squashed it down into a nearby pot. He then went back to tossing dirt onto his mandrake, eyes fixated on his work.

Parvati and I made eye contact as we blinked at each other. I then smiled brightly and focused on my own work. That was surprisingly cute to watch. Part of me hoped that such interactions with other Houses could slowly change others' perception of Slytherin - though it was probably wishful thinking on my part.

Focusing back on my own mandrake, I spent the better part of the next ten minutes trying to force its squirming body into its new pot. These mandrakes were both fussy about getting pulled up and fussy about being pushed down.

By the end of class, I had dirt on my hands, face and robes, and felt quite sweaty - it was disgusting. Everyone else was in just as bad shape as I was, though admittedly, Goyle did do most of the work near the end as the only one who could still yank up the mandrakes in a single tug. Still, everyone was in agreement to go back to the common room to wash up, as not one of us wanted to spend a minute longer as we were.

Thankfully, the washroom connected to our dormitory had three showers, so with minimum fighting the five of us managed to shower and change before hurrying to get to our next class. The boys had all beat us to the classroom, and for the first time in my life, I was late for class. However, since it was Professor Binns, the most oblivious Hogwarts professor, he hadn't even noticed we were a few minutes late. He simply continued to droll on with his lecture, so the girls and I avoided any sort of punishment, not even losing any House points!

By the time class was over, my hair had finally finished drying. I hastily tied it back in a ponytail in an attempt to tame my wild curls since my butterfly clips weren't really doing the best job at the moment. Once the lunch bell rang, several of the Hufflepuff students who had fallen asleep jerked awake. Daphne and I giggled as we gathered our things and filed out of the classroom, both eager and famished for lunch.

Theo and Blaise had fallen behind on the way there, so Daphne and I made ourselves comfortable in our spots at the Slytherin table without them. The boys finally joined us, with Blaise having a pleased smirk on his face - no doubt having some sort of interesting gossip to share.

"Everyone listen to this," Blaise announced, getting the attention of all the Second-Years, and even a few of the nearby First-Years and Upper-Years. "So when Potter and Weasley crashed into the whomping willow last night, Weasley accidentally broke his own wand. It's nearly snapped in half and is only being held together with Spellotape!"

"Sweet Circe…" Unconsciously, my hand went straight to my robe pocket, reassuring myself that my own wand was safe and intact. I couldn't imagine it becoming damaged, let alone almost broken in half.

"Can Weasley even use it anymore?" asked Rodger, who was sitting nearby.

Blaise glanced at the First-Year before addressing everyone once again. "A little birdy did tell me that during Gryffindor's Transfiguration class, Weasley's spells only produced rotten smelling smoke and it sparks at random moments."

"So not really," I said to Rodger, who nodded before turning back to his fellow First-Years.

Draco laughed. "With a wand damaged beyond repair, Weasley's practically a Muggle until his parents can scrounge up enough galleons for a new wand."

Many others laughed as well, though I refrained as nothing he said was funny or amusing. Theo and Daphne seemed to agree with me, while Blaise only snickered. To be without a wand for who knew how long…it was a daunting thing to imagine. Weasley would be at a constant disadvantage in all the classes requiring the use of magic.

I then realized that Weasley would likely continue to try using his damaged wand anyways since he actually tried to fix it himself; he'd be a walking disaster and a danger to anyone around him if he attempted another spell! Hopefully Professor McGonagall as both his professor and Head of House cautioned Weasley, or better yet, told him to never attempt to use his broken wand again.

The rest of lunch passed pleasantly and soon it was time to leave for our next class, Defense Against the Dark Arts. We were just entering the courtyard when up ahead Draco shouted, "Everyone queue up! Harry Potter's giving out signed photos!"

"I wonder which star-struck First-Year started all of this?" I asked my friends.

Theo shook his head. "It doesn't really matter. Let's just go and get to class."

"Hang on, mate," Blaise said as he stopped Theo from walking away. "Let's see how this plays out."

Since I was curious as well, I followed Blaise over to the small crowd.

"You're just jealous," interjected this tiny little First-Year, his red and gold tie identifying him as a Gryffindor.

"Foolish little firstie," Blaise muttered under his breath, and I agreed with him. Draco wasn't one to step down from a perceived challenge, and I worried about the trouble this little Gryffindor would get himself into.

"Jealous?" sneered Draco. He glanced around at the gathered crowd with a smirk. "Jealous of what? I don't want a foul scar right across my head, thanks. I don't think getting your head cut open makes you that special, myself."

Crabbe and Goyle dutifully sniggered from their usual places behind Draco.

"Eat slugs, Malfoy," replied Ron angrily, pushing himself slightly in front of Potter. Crabbe and Goyle instantly responded to the perceived threat against Draco, each taking a step forward, while Crabbe started rubbing his knuckles as if preparing to hit Weasley.

"I don't like this," whispered Daphne, her eyes shifting between the boys.

"Be careful, Weasley," sneered Draco. "You don't want to start any trouble or your Mommy'll have to come and take you away from school." He put on a shrill, piercing voice. "If you put another toe out of line."

A knot of Slytherin Fifth-Years nearby headed by Flint laughed loudly at this. Clearly none of the Upper-Years nearby of any House were going to interfere in the escalating confrontation. It was like Flourish and Blotts all over again.

"Weasley would like a signed photo, Potter," smirked Draco. "It'd be worth more than his family's whole house-"

Draco cut off when Weasley whipped out his Spellotaped wand, with several other students stepping back from the damaged wand. Both Blaise and Theo instantly shoved Daphne and me behind them, and Daphne clutched onto me. I held her back just as tightly as I prepared to pull us to the grass at a moment's notice should Weasley start recklessly shooting off spells in the crowded courtyard.

"What's all this, what's all this?" I relaxed as Professor Lockhart came striding into the center of the crowd. "Who's giving out signed photos?"

At the drop of the hat, Professor Lockhart went from a slightly stern, to jovial as he threw his arm around Potter. "Shouldn't have asked! We meet again, Harry!"

Potter flushed bright red as he was pinned to Lockhart's side. Several students snickered in the crowd as Professor Lockhart got the Gryffindor First-Year, Mr. Creevey, to take his and Potter's photo.

"Off you go, move along there," he commanded the crowd when the bell for afternoon classes rang, though most of the crowd had already started walking away.

Draco sauntered up to the four of us. "Esme, may I walk you to class?"

I briefly glanced behind Draco, catching Potter's eye as he was still held trapped against Professor Lockhart. When a betrayed look entered his eyes, I felt anger bubble in my chest. I turned away and smiled at Draco. "Of course."

Draco and I walked side-by-side as our merged groups left the courtyard behind.

"I hope that satisfied your curiosity, Blaise," sniped Theo.

"Oh, it definitely did. I love witnessing the Slytherin-Gryffindor dramatics," said Blaise, not at all affected by Theo's annoyed tone. "Besides, don't get your wand in a knot, we had the girls covered."

"Who can also take care of themselves," I added for good measure as we reached the staircases and began our trek up to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.

"It never would've come to that," Draco said almost flippantly. "Blaise said it himself, Weasley's wand doesn't even work. The worst he could do was produce more foul-smelling smoke."

"I don't know about that. There's no predicting what a nearly broken wand could do, especially in unskilled hands," Daphne pointed out, and I nodded in agreement.

We finally reached the classroom and we separated as we each sat at the paired desks on the other side of the Gryffindors. Draco kept close and so we sat together, while Daphne sat at one of the desks behind us.

Soon Parkinson and her posse entered. I practically heard the glare she was giving as she took the seat next to Daphne when Parkinson saw me sitting with Draco. I smirked to myself as I soaked in her frustration - my empathy for her pain only went so far. Draco and I each got out all seven of the required textbooks, and had them piled on our desks.

When all the desks were filled, Professor Lockhart cleared his throat loudly to get everyone's attention - though he already had most of the class staring at him in admiration. He reached forward, picked up Neville's copy of Travels with Trolls, and held it up to show his own, winking portrait on the front.

"Me," he said, pointing at it and winking as well. "Gilderoy Lockhart. Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award, but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

He paused as if waiting for something, but the class remained silent. His ego certainly hasn't dimmed since Diagon Alley. After a slightly awkward silence, he renewed his smile and continued. "I see you've all bought a complete set of my books, well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about, just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in."

I was honestly surprised he would quiz on the content of our textbooks on the first day. Not even Professor Snape ever did that to my knowledge, and he was known as the strictest professor in Hogwarts. It appeared this class would be challenging this year after all.

Despite my hope for an improved education over last year, I was internally panicking as Professor Lockhart handed out the test papers - I hadn't read a single sentence in any of the books yet. Once he was done, he returned to the front of the class. "You have thirty minutes. Start…now!"

I took a deep breath to settle my nerves. Hopefully, it was standard questions I would be able to work through with the knowledge I already had on Defense Against the Dark Arts. I flipped over the packet and felt my eye twitch as I read:

1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?

2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?

3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?

On and on it went, over three sides of paper, right down to:

54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?

This had to be a joke! Gone were my nerves and instead I was fuming. Papa was completely right about Lockhart! He was an egotistical and vainglorious buffoon! These books had to be utter trash if all these questions were answered in them. I had no idea why Dumbledore would hire Lockhart, but hire him he did, so I forced myself to answer every question on this ridiculous quiz - completely guessing on each one.

Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and rifled through them in front of the class. Not bothering to actually grade them, he seemed to only look for whatever answer that pleased him.

"Tut, tut. Hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully. I clearly state in Chapter Twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples, though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey!"

What an arrogant idiot! I resisted the urge to snap and took several deep breaths, letting my frustration and anger go as best I could.

"But I see here, Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair care potions. Good girl! Quite excellent, full marks," Lockhart beamed.

Of course she would know the answers to these stupid questions when she memorized everything she read, no matter how useless it was apparently. I heard several snickers as Lockhart called out for Granger to identify herself for him and she raised a trembling hand.

"Quite excellent! Take ten points for Gryffindor! And so, onto business."

All the snickers instantly stopped. I frowned in displeasure; that was not worth House points you nibbering nonce.

I was distracted from my thoughts by Lockhart lifting a large, covered cage onto his desk at the front of the class. "Now, be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to Magicals! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm."

I saw several students lean forward in interest while Lockhart spoke. While I could admit Lockhart knew had to draw a crowd like a ringmaster in a circus, I doubted his ability to handle, let alone protect us, from anything dangerous. If anything interesting was in the cage, I'd eat my wand.

Lockhart carefully grabbed the covering. "I must ask you not to scream," said Lockhart in a low voice. "It might provoke them." He then dramatically whipped off the covering.

Several snickers and groans of disappointment filled the once silent classroom as we all took in the cage full of electric blue Cornish pixies. The moment the cover had been removed, they had started jabbering and rocketing around, rattling the bars and making bizarre faces at the people nearest them.

"Yes," he said dramatically. "Freshly caught Cornish pixies."

Several Gryffindor boys burst out in laughter, which seemed to take the bristles off Lockhart's broom.

"Yes?" Lockhart asked the nearest laughing boy.

"Well, they're not…they're not very…dangerous, are they?" the Gryffindor choked out between his laughter.

"Don't be so sure!" Lockhart dramatically replied, waggling a finger annoyingly at Seamus. "Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!" He continued in a louder voice. "Right, then, let's see what you make of them!" And he opened the cage.

It was pure pandemonium as the pixies shot out in every direction like speeding Snitches. I yelped when one smacked into my books, and I ducked down to avoid it. Looking around I couldn't see Draco anywhere, and could only see Daphne huddled under her own desk behind me while Parkinson was crawling towards the back of the classroom.

Crash!

I flinched at the sound of breaking glass, but thankfully, no glass hit or landed anywhere I could see. I shrieked when my hair was suddenly harshly pulled, rising to my feet as I desperately tried to shoo away the pixie no doubt pulling on my hair.

"Esme, hold still!" I froze on reflex.

Bam!

The painful pressure was gone just as suddenly as it appeared. I turned to Potter as my hands still cradled my tender hair. "Thank you," I told him sincerely.

He smiled back a bit shyly. "No problem-duck!"

I quickly did so.

Bam!

This time I saw Potter swing, using one of his textbooks to smack away a pixie. He moved away as he kept swinging at any pixie he could reach. Glancing around, I saw the wreckage that was only growing throughout the entire room.

Pixies were spraying ink all over the place, shredding books and papers, tearing the many pictures of Lockhart off the walls, and dumping waste baskets as they flew passed. Half the class was hiding under desks, while the other half were swinging at any nearby pixies with books clutched in their hands.

"Come on now! Round them up, round them up, they're only pixies," Lockhart shouted. He rolled up his sleeves, brandished his wand, and bellowed, "Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"

It had absolutely no effect - he was utterly useless! One of the pixies seized his wand and threw it out one of the broken windows. I grabbed one of my books and ducked under my desk as several more pixies zoomed at me.

"Somebody! Get me down!"

Looking up I gasped in fear. Some pixies had someone gotten Neville hooked onto the chandelier by his robes! I quickly got out my wand and clutched it firmly in my hand - no way was I letting one of these little pests steal my wand.

I debated what spell to use to get Neville down safely when the decision was taken from my hands by the chandelier giving way.

"Arresto Momentum!" I shouted quickly, praying it worked.

I sighed in relief when both Neville and the chandelier slowed to a stop above the ground before being dropped the last few inches. Neville groaned from the impact, but I knew from experience he was uninjured.

I was forced to hide under my desk again when a few more pixies started throwing bunched up papers at me - reminding me they were still wreaking havoc. The bell rang.

Looking back, I locked eyes with Daphne. We both grabbed all our books spread out on the floor and made a mad dash towards the classroom door, joining in several other Second-Years also making their escape.

"That bloody imbecile!" ranted Theo, as he walked up ahead with Blaise. Daphne and I quickly caught up to them as we hurried down the corridor. We were all in silent agreement to put as much distance between ourselves and that disaster of a classroom as possible.

"He doesn't live up to his exploits at all," agreed Daphne, a crestfallen look on her face.

"If he couldn't handle pixies, how in Hecate's name did he face werewolves, vampires, and banshees?" I asked as we reached the staircases.

Blaise sneered, "Either foolish luck or he never even did them."

"Surely someone had to confirm he did the things he claimed for him to receive any of the awards he did?" I asked.

"Someone did," confirmed Theo. "They had to for the Order of Merlin at least."

"Whatever, it doesn't matter whether he's a fraud or not," interjected Blaise. "Because for the next two terms, Lockhart's our teacher. And we'll have to suffer through whatever other mess he drops onto us."

I never thought I'd feel this way, but I missed Quirrell - at least he never unleashed anything in the classroom. After such a crazy first day, I was more than happy to spend the rest of the evening in the common room playing cards and Wizard's Chess with everyone until we decided to withdraw to our beds and call it a night.

Madame = Mrs.

Tais-toi = shut up!

Special thanks to my Beta-Readers: Anonymous and TheSparkler!