Hello All. Enjoy the new chapter.
Standard disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, I just play in that sandbox a little bit.
Chapter 3
The silence lay thick between Obi-Wan and his Master.
Qui-Gon honestly didn't know what to say.
His Padawan was right about almost everything as much as he wished he could deny it. The only thing he had gotten wrong is the depths of caring that Qui-Gon felt for him. He was quite attached to Obi-Wan now after all these years. He knew that as a Jedi, he was supposed to reject attachments when they start to form but he couldn't.
The Force itself cried out against it.
Their relationship had started off very rocky and that had been Qui-Gon's fault that much he could admit.
He hadn't wanted another Padawan after Xanatos, he had still been grieving and hadn't been ready to move on and he had sever doubt in his ability to train another Padawan after what had happened with Xanatos and in his guilt and grief, he had unfairly judged Oni-Wan by the same standard as Xanatos.
Xanatos had been like a son to him.
Feemor, he had been rather fond of but he hadn't raised Feemor. He had offered to complete his Padawan training when Feemor's master had passed into the Force.
Obi-Wan though…well he had been a rather persistent pest in his quest to get Qui-Gon as his Master. So much so that Qui-Gon, in his irritation and absolute refusal to take another student, had been somewhat cruel to him and had done his best to drive Obi-Wan away.
Never mind that had he succeeded, the Order would have lost one of the best Jedi to have graced the Order for quite some time, Obi-Wan's potential was that great but Obi-Wan would also most likely be a slave or dead had Qui-gon persisted in his stubborn refusal to take him on.
It taken years for them to settle into a comfortable Master/Padawan relationship and once again, that was all on Qui-Gon.
And then Melina/Daan happened and it had sent them straight back to square one in their relationship.
Regardless of the fact that Obi-Wan had never shown any indications that he would follow Xanatos's path, having Obi-Wan as his apprentice, came with a whole new set of problems for the Master.
Obi-Wan had quite the temper when he had first come to live with Qui-Gon and it had cause quite a lot of friction between them in the early days as he was frequently feeling insecure about his place as Qui-Gon's Padawan.
Obi-Wan had tried his hardest to conform to the high and demanding standards that Qui-Gon set for all his Padawan's but what had worked for Feemor and subsequently Xanatos didn't work with Obi-Wan because he had forgotten that while he expected them to try their best to perform to his standards, he'd also make the learning fun.
For Ob-Wan, he'd been a strict task-master and no more than that for most of Obi-Wan's apprenticeship.
He'd had a hard time understanding what Qui-Gon had been trying to teach him due to Qui-Gon failing to take into account that his new Padawan was more of an intellectual then the other's had been so simple answers and comments that would have been more than sufficient for the others, infuriated Obi-Wan. He needed to know the why and how behind what he was learning in depth, wanted to know the history behind it, rather than the more simplified explanation that most Masters would give.
It made him an incredible student and his teachers loved him but Qui-gon, who had unshakable faith in the Force and how things should be couldn't understand his Padawan's drive to learn everything about any and every particular subject and situation he found himself in.
When Qui-Gon had finally realised what the matter was, he modified his teaching methods so he could explain and answer Obi-Wan's questions to the fullest. As a result, he found himself quite enjoying the intellectual challenge and debates that they had over whatever subject matter Obi-Wan was studying that day. He'd also learned that his Padawan had quite the sharp tongue and his observations and comments were astute, dry, full of sarcasm and absolutely hilarious.
The biggest challenge though that Obi-Wan brought to the table, which Qui-Gon had struggled quite a lot with was more serious.
Obi-Wan was blessed/cursed with a particularly strong connection to the Unifying Force and as a result, suffered distressing Force induced visions of the future.
As a devotee of the Living Force, Qui-Gon preferred to concentrate on the present and he didn't get visions himself. He felt that it was useless to focus on a vague, nebulous dream of a possible future because that is all it was, a possible future and yes, while the future was important, he felt it was more important to focus on the present, for it was their actions in the present that dictated how that future formed.
To put any stock in confusing and conflicting dreams/visions wouldn't do anyone any good.
He hadn't known what to tell him or how to comfort him when he woke up screaming from what he had seen and he refused to ask his former Master for help.
He hadn't spoken to his Master since Xanatos Fell. It was a matter of un-Jedi like pride on Qui-Gon's behalf. Master Dooku had seen the signs of Xanatos's Fall long before Qui-Gon had and he had tried to warn Qui-Gon, but he hadn't wanted to listen.
Master Dooku had been a good friend to Master Sifo-Dyas so he had more experience with visions then most as Master Sifo-Dyas was a seer who experienced particularly dark and destressing visions of the future. If the Master in question was still alive, he would have gone straight to the source for help but he wasn't and while some Jedi experienced visions, none of them had them on such a regular basis and therefore had no idea on how to deal with such stress on the mind and soul.
Especially a child's mind and soul.
He could have gone to his Grandmaster, but Yoda was the reason why he had Obi-Wan as a Padawan in the first place.
And as much as he loved Obi-Wan, he still hadn't forgiven Yoda for it.
Besides, his stock standard answer for visions was irritating in the extreme!
'Clouded the future is' indeed!
He couldn't be the only one who felt the urge to strangle the irritating little green troll could he?
He still resented Yoda's blatant meddling. Yoda was the one who had wanted Obi-Wan attached to his lineage; so much so that he had Qui-Gon had found out years later that Yoda had deliberately warned off any other Masters that had wanted to claim Obi-Wan as their Padawan.
And apparently there had been a lot of Masters who had tried to claim him.
Alright so it was his stubborn pride that stopped him from finding someone to help Obi-Wan understand and help him gain some limited control over them.
He hadn't wanted to admit that he was out of his depth in this particular matter. In the end, all he had told Obi-Wan was that dreams passed in time and to disregard his visions and concentrate on the here and now. He could see now that it was probably the worst thing he could have told him but he honestly hadn't known what to do or how to handle the situation without making things worse.
He really had done his Padawan wrong hadn't he?
He'd failed yet another apprentice.
He'd failed Obi-Wan
The Padawan in question had sat there in silence, waiting for Qui-Gon to say something…
Anything.
So with a shake of his head and a silent sigh, he rose from his bunk where he had taken a seat while his Master was lost in thought and headed for the door, resigned to the fact that he'd not get any answers to anything.
"Your wrong you know…and your right. I owe you an explanation."
Obi-Wan turned away from the door.
"What do you mean Master?" He asked.
"You right, I do want to be Anakin's Master. I want to help him reach his full potential in the Force. I want to see him grow into the powerful Jedi and the good man I know he will be. I want to help him grow into being the Chosen One, to help him bring Balance to the Force. But the way I went about it was wrong. What I did to you was wrong and I'm so very sorry for that Obi-Wan. I truly am." He apologised as he explained his reasons.
Obi-Wan nodded his head. His pain at hearing this, hidden tightly behind his shields.
"But you're also wrong." Qui-Gon continued.
"You matter to me Obi-Wan, you matter to me a great deal and while I regret the way our relationship started, I have never regretted taking you on as my Padawan. Not once, not even for a second. You've made me so very proud with the way you've grown and become your own person. You're loyal, intelligent, dedicated to the Order and its values, you're powerful, skilled and a truly good person. Not to mention you're a much better person then I, for you can at least admit you actually have faults that you're working on, I still can't. He confessed.
"You have the potential to be one of the greatest Jedi the Oder had seen."
Qui-Gon gave his apprentice a look of pride and love as he continued.
"I shouldn't have judged you like I did early on in our relationship. I admit I saw your offer to sacrifice your life on Bandomeer for me and the rest of the slaves as one of arrogance, as a way for you to be remembered for your deed, to gain fame in a way. I was still so stuck in my grief over Xanatos that I didn't see it for what it really was, a truly selfless act."
"One worthy of the greatest Jedi Masters."
Obi-Wan just stared at his Master is disbelief. He'd never heard his master express his faults like this before.
It was unheard of!
It was even rarer for Qui-Gon to admit to any sort of praise or pride in Obi-Wan…at all.
"I also owe you an apology for my actions on and after Melian/Daan."
Obi-Wan's face immediately closed down and he tightened his shields around the bond.
Melian/Daan was an episode in his past that he was both proud and ashamed of.
He honestly thought that he'd been tossed out of the Jedi Order for defying Qui-Gon in such a way. He was sorry he done so but he just couldn't leave the Young to fight on their own. It had not only been the will of the Force that he stay and help them but his own conscience wouldn't let him turn his back on children who were being killed (slaughtered) by their own parents no less under the guise of war.
It had been one of the most devastating experiences of his life so far but also one of the most rewarding once they'd managed to stop the war, but he'd lost so many of the Young before that happened.
He lost so many friends.
He still hadn't forgiven himself for Cersei's death, even though he knew it wasn't his fault.
When Qui-Gon had cut the Padawan braid from his head and left with the injured Master Tahl, it had almost broken him. It would have if he didn't have over one hundred children, most of them younger than his almost fourteen years, relying on him to help keep them safe.
"I never told you, but even though I was angry with you for defying me and choosing to stay, I was so proud of you! You, not even fourteen yet, stuck to your convictions and stayed to help the Young and I am so sorry for not telling you this as soon as we were reunited. I am also so very sorry for not insisting that the Council send another team to help the Young. I should have, my duty as a Jedi practically demanded it but I was too worried about Tahl. What happen to her on the planet left her deeply wounded spiritually and the torture left her physically blinded and I'm afraid I let my anger at those who did that to her to influence me where that planet was concerned."
He gave Obi-Wan a guilty look.
"I'm afraid I wanted them to suffer so I allowed my anger and hate for those beings who hurt her and my anger over your defiance of my orders to get on the ship, to colour my report to the Council so as a result of that, the Council decreed Melian/Dann a lost cause. I wasn't very kind to you in my report because I was angry and scared. I didn't even try to understand why you were so adamant to stay and fight and I saw that as a betrayal off all I tried to teach you."
"It was the same type of defiance I saw in Xanatos and it scared me."
Obi-Wan didn't know what to say after that.
"I'm sorry." Was all he could say.
"No Obi-Wan. You've done nothing to be sorry for. I can see that now."
"I'm the one who's sorry. I'm especially sorry for making you think that I didn't care about you, because I do care, very much. The Council would like you to think that Jedi don't have attachments but that's a lie. We get attached to people just like everyone else. Masters especially become attached to our Padawan's. We don't admit to it, but we view our Padawan's like they are our children. You basically raise them once they leave the clan crèche. We house you, see to your basic needs, help you study, teach you all we know, doctor your skinned knees and hold you close until the tears stop, share your triumphs, commiserate with you over your failures, laugh at your jokes, feel pride when you've mastered yet another skill and give you comfort when you walk up late at night from nightmares."
He smiled at Obi-Wan.
"For all intent and purposes; your Master is your parent and you my dear Obi-Wan, are my child."
Yes Qui-Gon could happily admit that he was fiercely attached to Obi-Wan.
And he dared anyone to try and tell him to give it up because he won't. And if the kriffing Council expels him for that, then he'd take Obi-Wan and Anakin with him when he left.
And the Jedi Order a can go to hell.
######################
Qui-Gon smiled fondly as he watch Obi-Wan and Anakin play on the shores of the lake while they waited for Jar Jar Binks to return from his mission to the underwater city of Otoh Gunga.
He chuckled quietly as Anakin shrieked with laughter while trying to dodge the small streams of water that Obi-Wan was shooting at him using the Force. It was a scene that should bring peace to his soul, watching his two boys play…and they were his boys, but it didn't soothe his concise about how he'd treated Obi-Wan all these years.
When had he forgotten how to have fun?
"You should join them Master Jedi."
Qui-Gon just barely contained a jerk of surprise as he noticed Padmé standing next to him.
He hadn't felt her coming. Her ability to shield her presence when she felt the need to was impressive.
"How did the Jedi miss you as a child? You have the most impressive ability to sneak up on a Jedi Master undetected, your Majesty." He commented wiry, taking a guess as to who she really was.
He was pretty certain that Padmé was Queen Amidala. He'd noticed that while all the Handmaidens take turns at masquerading as Queen, she and one other seemed to switch the most. The only reason he was sure it was Padmé was because she was the one to address the Senate.
Padmé laughed lightly.
"Who says they didn't? Maybe my parents didn't want to be separated from their child and told the Jedi no. Is that a word you hear very often Master Jedi?" she teased the older man.
It was Qui-Gon's turn to laugh.
"You'd be surprised how often we hear that particular word you Majesty. The Jedi are not well liked outside the Republic's boarders and to be honest, we've been losing popularity within the Republic itself. More and more planets and systems are refusing our help. The only help we provide these days is at the Senate's request, which sadly can be brought for the right price. These days we're seen more as the Republic's attack dogs, or do I mean lap dogs? Either way, the Ruusan Reformation was probably the worst thing that could have happened to us as an Order."
Padmé was intrigued with what she was hearing. It wasn't often that the Jedi Order admitted they had problems and faults within the Order itself.
"What do you mean when you say that the Reformation was bad for the Jedi Order?" she asked him.
Qui-gin sighed. He wished he hadn't opened that particular can of worms but it was surprising easy to speak to the young Queen as an equal.
"We lost our status as an independent entity when we agreed to answer to the Senate. I can understand why it was a popular decision at the time but I don't think the High Council of the time really gave much thought as to how it would affect us as an Order and the balance of power with in the Republic over time. The galaxy has changed, our Order hasn't. We've become stagnant and arrogant in our abilities. We've forgotten what it's like to experience with the Force. We've stopped helping those who need it. Before the Reformation, before the New Sith Wars and even during the war itself we freed slaves and helped planets and peoples achieve their potential. After the war we started looking at the big picture and forgot about those who make up that picture." He told her.
"We project an aura of power, prestige, mystery and unity to the galaxy at large but the reality is far from the picture presented. The High Council argues themselves into a deadlock over the smallest issues so nothing gets decided but will immediately send Jedi out on a Senate sanctioned mission, usually without question, which makes us ineffective as a whole to those who really need us. Like your people."
Padmé frowned as she turned over what she had just heard in her mind.
"I understand what you're saying. I must confess, I had the same thoughts. You're here to protect me and while I don't want to die, I am ultimately replaceable as Queen, but my people are not and its they who need the Jedi's protection. My people, the Gungan's, they are the ones who would befits from Jedi protection more then I. I have security already that has been vigorously trained and are highly skilled in keeping me alive from most threats. I myself am well trained in self-defence. I admit a Sith is a little out of our league but only because we don't know what he's capable off, so answer me this Master Jedi, assuming we were given the information on what the Sith is capable off, why do I need you?"
Qui-Gon smirked at the young woman. He liked her. She asked the right type of questions.
"You don't to be honest. The Order could have informed you about what we know about known Sith weaknesses, I can't promise they'd still be the same today as they were a thousand years ago but still, it's something we could have done but didn't and that was wrong. Even if you don't end up having to fight him, you had the right to know what he was possible capable of. But unfortunately, the Jedi Order claim the Sith as our exclusive problem to deal with so even if the Senate had disagreed with having a Jedi presence during this confrontation, the High Council would have order Jedi here anyway. We don't like it when the unexpected happens, we don't react well as whole and having the Sith suddenly pop up out of nowhere after we were of the belief that they had been completely exterminated as a race, is just about as unexpected as it gets."
"That's completely understandable Master Jinn, I can relate to that on a personal level. I wasn't expecting an invasion of Naboo to happen, ever, let alone while I was Queen. What do I know of war? Do you know how old I am Master Jinn?" She asked him.
Qui-Gon shook his head no.
"I am fourteen years old by the galactic calendar. Fourteen. What does a fourteen year old know about war? Or even thinks about war when they've known nothing but peace? I expected my rule to be a peaceful one. I would serve my time, do my best to improve my people's situation wherever needed and retire when my term is up. I didn't expect to have the Trade Federation invade my planet, I didn't expect to leave my planet while it was under invasion and I certainly didn't expect the Senate to refuse to help us. The last thing I want to be known as is a war Queen but I have no choice. The unexpected happens every day, it's how fast we can adapt to the situation that determines who comes out on top and I am determined to come out on top of this. I will free my people from this unjust invasion." Padmé declared, her passion and determination shone brilliantly in the Force.
Qui-Gon couldn't help but look at her in admiration. She was a force of nature for sure. Powerful, passionate and determined to make a difference.
It was a combination what would either raise her to great heights or send her plummeting down into failure.
"I do honestly believe you will your Majesty. Just remember, your focus determines your reality. If you focus on your success, you will be successful." Qui-Gon bowed respectfully towards her.
"Thank you Master Jinn, I hope I can live up to your faith in me. Now we seemed to have strayed from the reason I came over here in the first place. You should join them in play Master Jedi. It's important when in war or times of turmoil, to value and enjoy the quiet times as those times are what make life worth living. All sentients long for that subtle notes, those small times of respite in-between the rush of life and war. Enjoy this moment with them, you may not get another."
She gave the older man a small knowing smile.
"He will forgive you Master Jinn. All families fight, in the end, we always forgive each other because that's how family works."
Qui-Gon stared at her in surprise.
"You are far too young to be so wise your Majesty."
The smile turned into a mischievous smirk.
"Perhaps Master Jedi. Now, I do believe that Anakin could use your assistance. I find it distinctly unfair of your Padawan to use the Force against him. What do you say we even the odds?" She asked a glint of glee in her eyes.
Qui-Gon gave a loud snort of laughter and in answer to her question; a small globe of water slowly rose from the surface of the lake behind Obi-Wan's back. He noticed Anakin's eyes get wide and shoot in his direction. Qui-Gon put a finger to his lips in the universal sign for silence while smiling. Anakin quickly caught on and his eyes filled with glee and mirth and decided to get in on the act in order to get revenge on the older boy.
"What's that?!" he gasped in fake surprise as he pointed to the globe of water, now at head height, floating behind Obi-Wan's back.
Obi-Wan whipped around, expecting to see some strange animal or plant but before he could do or say anything, water exploded all over his face.
Anakin dropped down on his knees, unrestrained laughter and delight pouring out of him as he looked at the disgruntled Padawan's face while Padmé giggled uncontrollably.
"MASTER!"
Qui-Gon couldn't stop laughing at the expression of annoyance and disgust on Obi-Wan's face.
Suddenly, Qui-Gon was coughing and spluttering and wet.
He wiped the majority of the water off his face and stared at his Padawan while Anakin and Padmé completely lost it laughing at the pair.
"Oh Padawan that was a big mistake."
Obi-Wan swallowed nervously, wondering if he'd just stepped over a line.
Qui-Gon smiled evilly.
"Better break of a switch son, cause there's about to be a whoopin'!"
And with those words, released a massive wave of water over the young man, soaking him to the skin.
Stars, he really loved the Force.
Obi-Wan, once he'd stopped coughing for the unexpected attack returned his Master's determined stare his grin just as evil as his Masters.
"Oh Master, it's on! Bring it on old man!"
The resulting sounds of laughter, shrieks of surprise and screams of delight, rung out across the clearing.