Time Jump: Next Morning

Rafael woke to light streaming into the room. With an annoyed grumble, he made a move to sit up only to stop. Olivia sat in the chair, resting her head on the edge of the bed. Her hair was made up into a messy bun, with a few strands loose across her face. Reaching over he pushed the strands back, pulling his hand away at realizing what he was doing.

"Liv?" This was a bad idea. "Liv." Getting a slight hum, he took her hand in his. "Climb up."

"What?" Sitting up she froze at seeing her hand in his.

"Climb up here." Scooting over he muffled a groan.

She shook her head, stretching out with a silent yawn. "I'll hurt you."

"Woul-" He stopped himself before he said something he'd regret. "I'll be fine. You on the other hand will have a sore neck."

"Rafa."

"Stop being you and get on the damn bed." He let go of her hand with a huff. Grabbing the edge of the thin blanket, he pulled it back. "You still have a few hours before they come in to change the bandages."

Biting her lower lip, she quietly removed her shoes and jacket. Sliding into the space he cleared for her, Olivia laid stiff with her hands on her chest. "T-thank you."

Barba took one look at her and snorted. "You plan on laying like that the entire time?"

"I don't want to hurt you." She kept repeating that as her excuse. When in reality she was scared of what might happen, should she touch him. "I'm fine like this."

"Suit yourself." Resting his arm under his head, he closed his eyes. "Just don't hog the blanket." A few minutes later he heard her whisper his name asking if he was asleep. He refused to answer her.

"I'm sorry." Olivia turned to her side, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I didn't realize my emotions were getting in the way. Elliot had always been there for me. Until he wasn't. Then you came barging into my life days later." Her fingers moved to stroke his cheek. "I have not forgotten everything you have done for me. The number of times you nearly lost your job because of me. You have stood by my side in the toughest moments of my life, as well as the happiest ones." Pulling her hand away, he laid her forehead on his shoulder shaking her head. "For some reason all that was pushed aside when I saw Elliot again. I saw him as my partner. The anger in him when he spoke about you, somehow became my anger. I didn't see things from your perspective."

"And now?"

Olivia stiffed at the roughness in his tone. "I see it."

"What exactly?" He wasn't about to let her off the hook so easily. He was still hurt and that wasn't going to go away with a simple sorry. "What do you see?"

She had yet to move off him, instead, she moved her hand across his waist and held him. "You were trying to keep me from getting hurt. Relive Lewis all over again."

Reaching over he grabbed her chin and waited for her to look up at him. "As I said before, you don't need to ask me. I will always protect you." Seeing the anger flash in her eyes, he shook his head. "Olivia, I am not doing it because I don't believe you aren't capable of doing it yourself. I know just how strong you are." Leaning forward, he rested his forehead against hers. "Protecting you is my need. I need to know you are safe. I need to know I have done everything to keep you safe."

"I don't ne-"

"But I do." Looking into her eyes, he was pulled into her gaze. "But I also learned that it's not my right." Letting her go, he laid back. "For the moment you have given that right to someone else."

"Rafa it's not l-"

"I have fought for that right for so long." He continued. "Seven years trying to earn it and all it took to lose it was the appearance of him. What's really sad is the fact that I still kept trying. I still keep trying." He scoffed at himself. "How pathetic can I be?"

"It's not pathetic." Olivia snapped.

"What would you call it?" Barba rolled his head to glance at her. "Desperate? Obsessed?"

"I don't know." But she did know. "But I wouldn't call it that."

"Right." Turning his head back to face the ceiling, he felt her hand slide up his abdomen, over her chest, and up to his neck. She gently guided his head back to face her. "What?"

"I missed you too."

"Olivia...don't." The feelings he had worked so hard to try and bury, were digging themselves back up. "I can't go through it again. I refuse to go through it again." Jerking his head out of her hold, he let out a shaky breath. "The day my sister passed away, I held a bottle of alcohol in my hand. Yet I never opened it. When the one I believed to be the love of my life, married the one I believed to be my best friend, I went to a bar. Didn't drink once, just held it in my hand. When my grandmother passed away, I bought three bottles. They sat on my bar untouched for two years."

"Where are you going with this?"

"You tell me I betrayed you and suddenly I am drowning myself to the point of blacking out." Rafael hated himself for giving in to his weakness. The same one his father got every day. "I don't remember much from those nights. In all honestly, those three days were a relief for me. They numbed it all. I couldn't feel nor think, leaving me in a state of peace." Seeing the unshed tears in her eyes, he looked away. "I'm not blaming you, Olivia. But I am sure mother had already told you about my three-day binge. It was going to happen sooner or later."

"How can you be so sure?"

He shrugged, regretting it the moment he felt the pain creep into his shoulders. "Just a hunch."

"Since when do you li-"

"Morning." Nurse Diaz walked into the room, stumbling at seeing the couple in the same bed. "I can come back later and check on your bandages."

"No."

"Yes."

Olivia frowned up at him. "What do you mean yes?"

"Please Ms. Diaz." Rafa smiled softly at the nurse. "I'm still tired from the meds and don't think I can handle the pain right now. Captain Benson had been awake all night and I was just able to convince her to get some sleep."

The nurse placed her hands on her waist, shaking her head like a disappointed mother. "I can give you two hours max. Then we must change the bandages. I will have one of the residents bring a folded bed for the Captain."

"Thank you." He gave her the most 'you kicked my puppy' type look he could.

Once she walked out, Olivia popped up on her elbow. "You manipulating liar." Seeing the amusement in his eyes, she laughed. "I can't believe she fell for that face."

"Don't know what you are talking about." Barba shrugged, nuzzling into his arm and closing his eyes.

Deciding on not pushing her luck and ruining the rare bickering at the moment, she nuzzled into his side. Her hand laid over his heart, letting her know he was still there.

Outside:

"It's just him and the cop." Diaz whispered. "You have two hours before they check on him."

'Very good darling.' The voice chuckled menacingly. 'My man is already there. Give him the change of clothes and walk away.'

"Then can I have my daughter back?" She pleaded. "I have done everything you have asked for."

'Once Rafael Barba is dead.'