Chapter 8 — Doubts

"Ethan!" a voice whispered, shortly preceding a sharp jab to his ribs.

"Agh!" He instinctively rolled away, only to roll straight into the wall and hit his head. Opening his eyes, although blurry, he could make out the form of Fennekin next to his bed. "What's up?" he groaned before blinking rapidly and then rubbing his eyes to clear them out.

"Just excited," she giggled nervously. "They're announcing the results of the contest today!"

Ethan turned his head to their window, then rubbed one of his eyes again. "It's really early, you must be excited if you're up before me."

"And wide awake, too! I was so excited, I could barely sleep. I know we took a bit to go to the Starlit Grove, but I'm really confident that we still have a shot!"

"And I honestly forgot today was the day they were making the announcement."

"I think I'm hearing people start to gather," she said with a motion of her head towards the door.

"The sun's barely even out," he groaned while sitting up.

"It's just cloudy. Now come on, we wouldn't want to miss it!" He briefly considered reminding her that they went around knocking on doors if not everybody was up yet, but something told him that just staying silent was the best course of action. And it was both dark and cloudy, not just cloudy!

He could make out some talking beyond the door as he approached, but it was definitely only a few Pokémon, and they were speaking softly enough that he couldn't actually tell what was being spoken. It stopped when he opened the door, and upon walking into the small room right at the top of the stairs, was met with Roserade and Luxio looking at him across an empty room. "Sorry if we woke you," Roserase said as Team Stargazers moved to their position near the right wall that had become their unofficial spot for meetings.

"We were already up," he responded, his voice still slightly gravely from sleep.

"That excited, huh?" Luxio chuckled.

He nodded. "Yeah."

"No!" Fennekin exclaimed.

Ethan looked to Fennekin, a smile on his face at her simultaneous response to his. "Come on, just admit you're excited to hear the results."

"We're glad you're excited," Roserade spoke up before Fennekin could say anything. "We know you all haven't been able to get out and do some exploring of your own, and that's ultimately what we're all here for, right?"

"And helping Pokémon," Luxio quickly added.

"Of course," Roserade laughed, "but we've been having our recruits work on missions for so long, they haven't gotten as much time to go exploring. You two came at a bit of a bad time, I'd say; it was not long before you came that Academy explorations began winding down as much as they have. Though I know Team Sunstriders has given you a few opportunities, which I'm happy about. I'm glad they agreed to be your mentors on such short notice."

"Houndoom owes me," Luxio shrugged. "Rest of them too, probably."

"Well, I prefer to think of it as an act of altruism."

Luxio let out a single laugh. "Of course, they're good guys. And their presence got Moondancers interested in helping out, so my calling in favors got you a two for one, Roserade."

"Moondancers is helping?" Fennekin asked, an almost undetectable excitement in her voice. He didn't know why she still tried to hide it; most everybody knew they were her heroes at this point.

"They're...floating mentors, I suppose is the best term," Roserade said. "They came and expressed an interest in being mentors, but this was after everybody had been assigned. But we weren't going to just say no to a two star team."

"You know it's because Sunstriders was helping, Roserade. Just like I told you would happen."

"Why would they help just because Sunstriders is?" Fennekin asked.

Luxio started silently laughing to herself. "Meowstic. She's the most competitive Pokémon I've ever met, and for some reason she's decided Sunstriders' Meowstic is who she needs to beat. I keep telling her she needs to admit her feelings to him, but that just makes it worse."

"Luxio!" Roserade snapped.

She shrugged. "I've known her for years, I know her better than probably she does."

"Who's this?" Cinccino walked up the stairs behind Luxio and Roserade, slurring his words and rubbing his eyes in his clearly half-awake state. Despite sounding like he had just rolled out of bed, however, his long white fur was still as lively and tamed as it ever was.

"Meowstic," Luxio responded.

"Which one?"

Luxio laughed. "You really are a mess in the morning; I just said 'she'. But you know, now that they're both going to be hanging around here, we really need to figure out some way to distinguish them…"

"One's male and one's female," Roserade spoke up. "That's usually enough of a differentiator."

"Yeah, but if I just say I spoke with Meowstic, that doesn't help us much, does it?"

"Hm, a fair point." She looked back to Ethan and Fennekin. "I apologize, what had you asked about? I think the three of us got a little off topic."

"We were just curious about Moondancers becoming mentors." Ethan shrugged. "And you mentioned why, or at least why Luxio thinks so."

"I wouldn't mention it to Meowstic," Luxio added. "Either of them. Moondancers' would deny it, and Sunstriders' would probably just get embarrassed. You're right, we really do need to find some way to separate them. 'Moondancers' Meowstic' and 'Sunstriders' Meowstic' is too much of a mouthful."

"Moon and Sun?" Fennekin offered, quickly avoiding eye contact when the other Pokémon looked at her. "I don't know, just an idea."

"Not a bad one," Luxio mused. "Will take some getting used to, but that's mostly because I've known them both for years."

"Yeah," Fennekin nodded. "I've never really known any other Pokémon with a nickname before."

"Ethan," Cinccino spoke matter-of-factly.

Fennekin's ears perked up, the same way when she immediately regret saying something, causing Ethan's eyes to also widen a little bit. "Oh, well you know, I met him after he got that nickname. I think, he can't remember." She giggled nervously. "Oh, uh, Pikachu, I've got something to ask you about one of our missions. I wrote it down back in our room, do you want to go there now? And talk about it, I mean?"

"Uh, sure." Why had she called him Pikachu? It wasn't wrong, he supposed, but it felt weird calling him that. He was Ethan, a Pikachu, not a Pikachu named Ethan. Well, the distinction made sense to him.

They walked into their room, Fennekin quickly closing the door behind them and taking shallow, rapid breaths. "What's wrong?" he asked. "I don't understand what Cinccino said. I mean, he said my name but...why's it so worrying?"

Fennekin started pacing the room, clearly thinking something over. "Sorry. It's weird, I just guess I forgot, and you know, your name, but you're a Pikachu, and—"

"Fennekin." He tried to not be harsh, but...stern, is that the best way to say it? She just needed someone to snap her back into reality.

"Right." She took a deep breath, then collapsed onto her hay bed. "Sorry, my mind was going a mile a minute. I said I never really knew any another Pokémon with a nickname before, forgetting they'd think about you."

"Ethan's my name. Or, I think it was. But it is now, so why would they think about me?"

"Well, how many other Pokémon have we met that went by a name that wasn't the type of Pokémon they were?"

"...point taken, but what's that have to do with me and what he said?"

"The name of most Pokémon is...well, everyone's real name is just what type of Pokémon they are. But some of them will have nicknames that they go by among close friends, which will occasionally be what they just happen to go by, but that's not as common."

"So they...think Ethan is just a nickname, not a real name?"

"Yeah. Or, I think that's what they think. I've never actually asked them what they think your real name is, because most people would just look at you strangely for asking that question. Because why wouldn't your real name be Pikachu?"

"Ethan being my real name would let them know I'm a human, is that it?"

Fennekin nodded. "Yeah. While uncommon for a Pokémon to give their nickname as their name when meeting new people, it's not really unheard of, which is why most Pokémon we've met have either said nothing or just said it's an odd name. Shaymin was the only one that actually understood what having that name must've meant."

"Should I start going by something else, then? I guess I can try going by Pikachu, but that just feels weird. But if you think it'll help, I'm willing to try."

"No," she responded with a shake of her head after thinking it over for a few seconds. "Again, only one Pokémon has actually understood that that's a human name, and she didn't think anything of it."

"Do you think anyone else knows?"

After mulling it over, Fennekin shook her head. "Espeon and Umbreon are the two I'd think would know and neither of them did, so I think we're safe. Nobody else we've talked to besides Shaymin seemed to know anything about humans, and she didn't think anything of it."

"And what do we do if someone does know?"

"I don't know. Lie? What does Ethan mean?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, why would you have the name? Why would someone start calling you that?"

Ethan simply stood still for a few moments before crossing his arms. "It doesn't mean anything to me beyond it being my name, so I can't say. Saying 'it's what my parents named me' seems right, but I can't remember anything about that. Or them, really. I think it's just a name."

"Sorry."

"Sorry?"

"For...you know." She gave a single, nervous cough. "Mentioning your parents."

"It's fine." Silence. "Sounds bad, but I can't miss what I don't remember, right?"

"I guess. Maybe we could find them someday, let them know you're okay."

"Yeah, and let them know they've got a Pikachu for a son now. That's got to be hard to explain, eh?"

Fennekin gave a solitary laugh, which he could tell was forced. "Yeah. I guess it never really hit me what you being a former human means. Beyond it just being weird, you know. Do you remember anything else, anything at all?"

"Can't say I do. I must have memories buried somewhere deep since I can remember my name and that I was human, but anything of substance? Can't say I do. It's almost like I was just born, but managed to already know who I'm supposed to be. Weird, right?"

"Yeah." The two sat in awkward silence for what felt like hours but was surely only a few minutes, until Fennekin spoke up again. "We should probably go back out there, right? We're going to need to eventually."

"Yeah, probably." He walked to the door and opened it, letting Fennekin out before leaving and shutting the door behind himself.

"Sunstriders!" Ethan heard Helioptile beam before soon feeling her arms around him and Fennekin in a big hug. "It feels like it's been forever; everyone said you guys got back right after Dewpider and I left!"

"I know!" Fennekin squealed, returning the hug. "How were your expeditions?"

"They were so much fun, I wish you could've been there!" The hug slackened a little. "Hey, your scarves are a different color! What's the story?"

"Huh?" Both he and Fennekin looked down at their scarves; they were the new pink color from the Gracidea petals, but that had been over a week ago so neither of them were thinking about it. "Oh, we found some really pretty flowers on the way and got them turned into dye. Aren't they cute?"

"Yes, you look so adorable in pink! And Ethan, I think I like the green better on you, but the pink's cute too."

"Thanks," he laughed. "Did you and Dewpider find anything good on your explorations?"

"Oh, yeah! We found this weird, like…" She let them go from the hug, then tried to mime something with her hands; whatever it was, it was probably about a foot and a half long and curved. "I don't know, but it had this really pretty picture of a big city on it, and when we brought it to a researcher here, they said it was a human artifact! They aren't really sure what it is, but they said it was definitely made by them."

"Who was this researcher, by the way? Was it a very...uh, absent-minded Espeon, lives not too far from here? Or maybe an Umbreon, also lives not far from here?"

"Wow, you're good! We gave it to an Espeon that was kinda scatterbrained, and there was an Umbreon there who also seemed to know a bit about it. How'd you know?"

"They're the sisters of one of our mentors, we've helped them before."

"Small world," she giggled.

"Attention!" Roserade announced from the front of the room; while turning around, Ethan could see that everybody had gathered by the stairs. Part of him was surprised how early everybody had gotten up, but they were probably all like Fennekin and were just excited.

"First off, we would like to thank you all for participating in our event; we're pleased that all of you got the opportunity to go do some exploring of your own, and even if you are not our winners today, we want you to know that you all did great work.

"On the topic of our victors, however, the team that has won our competition is...Dewpider and Helioptile! Get up here you two, and claim your prize!"

A small chorus of applause came from the rest of the trainees as Helioptile excitedly ran up to the front of the room, Dewpider walking calmly up behind her. "Oh my gosh, for real? Dewpider and I really won?"

"That you did," she nodded, handing the rolled-up scroll to her. "Good luck on your exploration! You two definitely earned it."

As Dewpider got up to Helioptile's side, the two of them met eyes and both nodded in sync before turning to face the rest of the group. "We've been talking," Dewpider began, "and we thought that because we've all been having so much fun going on these expeditions for this, we'd like to share the map with anyone who wants to come along!"

"I know it would be a little difficult to go as a big group," Helioptile continued, "but we could try to figure something out!"

"An Academy expedition!" Roserade spoke up. "We haven't done one of those in years, and they're always a wonderful time." She looked to the crowd of trainees. "This, of course, would rely on the rest of you wishing to come along. Anybody who wishes to is welcome, and don't feel like this is a requirement."

"I want to come, too!" Emolga blurted out as she raised a hand. "We got really unlucky with our explorations, I just want to find something good!"

"We stayed pretty close to Pokéopolis," Lampent added in. "I'd love to go on a big exploration!"

Seeing the excitement brewing in the crowd, Roserade put her flower-hands up. "We will work on ironing out some of the details, and announce the formal process for signing up later, once we know when we will do this. Helioptile, Dewpider, if you don't mind staying around a little bit longer so we can try to figure some things out for this? This is your map, after all, so we want to make sure all the details work for you. Everybody else, you are free to go about your business for today; we should have details on the signup process this time next week at the latest. Dismissed!"

Ethan turned to Fennekin, a large smile on his face, only to see Fennekin looking like she was trying to hold in tears. At first glance she looked fine, but spending the past couple months with her...he wasn't sure how, but he was picking up on little cues. Her jaw was tensed, her chin artificially high, eyes straight ahead but unfocused. How did he know to look for those things?

"Hey," he said softly, seemingly catching her by surprise as her body tensed slightly in surprise.

"Hey!" Her voice was shaky, unsteady. "Sorry. Just, uh, thinking. You know."

"Yeah," he nodded slowly. "Do you wanna...go back to the room and prepare? Go downstairs and look for missions now? I'm ready whenever you are."

"Yeah." She cleared her throat, then took a sharp breath in through her nose. "Missions sound good, I guess. Let's go." She started for the stairs, and he could tell that she was just going through the motions; something was bothering her. She was excited for the contest's conclusion, was she upset they didn't win? She kept saying they had a chance but didn't think it was a lock, so he figured she probably knew there was a chance someone else would win. But she also seemed to still have a lot of doubt deep down, so maybe that really is what it was?

The two of them walked down the stairs of the Academy in silence, the air between them tense. She was clearly not wanting to talk, and he didn't want to broach the subject and find out why. A few soft bits of sunlight were starting to illuminate the ground floor of the Academy, but lanterns lining the wall shone warm light on the few Pokémon who arrived early to check the job boards, including—

"Sunstriders!" Leafeon beamed from one of the job boards, walking up to them with a smile on his face. "I hear today was the day they were announcing the results of that contest you were in; how did you do?"

Fennekin was still seeming as if she was trying to keep it together, so Ethan spoke up. "We didn't win, but the team that did decided to share their prize, so they're going to be organizing an Academy expedition."

"Well, that's nice of them! And I bet an Academy-wide exploration will be fun, won't it?"

"I guess," Fennekin sighed, breaking her silence.

Leafeon cocked his head at her, his smile fading into a look of worry. "Is everything okay, Fennekin?"

"Yeah…" She signed again. "I don't know. Losing's just hard."

He pursed his lips as he nodded his head slightly. "I know what you mean. One of our first explorations, we spent nearly our entire savings on a complete bust. Months of saving, going well out of our way, and in the end we had absolutely nothing to show for it."

"I didn't know about that. What was it?"

"Diamond Island. We were told it was this island far to the south overflowing with treasure, but it's kind of just a sandbar too tall to be completely underwater. You probably don't know about it because failures never make as good of stories as successes, but I still remember it because it was our first real setback as a team. Took us quite a bit to recover from that setback in terms of time and money, but we bounced back."

"Thanks." Fennekin's jaw relaxed, and the corners of her mouth turned up ever so slightly. "I just hope we can come back from this."

The warm smile returned to Leafeon's face. "Not much to come back from. I know you didn't spend a large amount of money on the exploration we sent you on, and it sounds like you get to utilize that prize anyways."

"I guess. Hopefully we can get something out of this map they won, though. We couldn't find anything when we went looking for the Starlit Grove."

"That's always a possibility, but as my dad would always say, you can't find buried treasure if you don't go digging. It could be nothing, but it also could be something."

The smile settled on her face; it was still small, but she seemed much more at ease than before. "Was your dad an explorer, too?"

"No, just liked to say it. My twin sister and I wanted to be explorers when we were little, and he'd always tell us that if one of us got discouraged."

"Your twin sister?" Fennekin echoed. "You've mentioned another sister who's an explorer, right? Was it Flareon?"

"No," he said with a shake of his head. "Well, yes, Flareon is an explorer, no she's not my twin sister. My twin sister lives out west in the mountains; she evolved into a Glaceon, and says she prefers the cold of her home to 'downhill', as she and her fellow ice types call it. I'll have to introduce you if she ever comes to town. She's not an explorer, though, so I don't get to see her very often in person."

"Leafeon," Ethan began, "I feel bad for asking this after knowing you this long, but...just how many sisters do you have? I feel like every time we talk, you mention another one."

He laughed. "Not surprising, I come from a big family. I've got seven siblings, all sisters. Jolteon, Flareon, and Vaporeon are the oldest, and they're triplets; none of them live in Pokéopolis, but Vaporeon lives not very far up the Palpitoad River so I get to see her occasionally. Espeon and Umbreon come next, and they're twins. Then there's me and my twin sister Glaceon, and finally our youngest sister Sylveon, who's part of a traveling show. Add in Jolteon's husband Lucario and my niece Eevee...and let's just say I don't hold it against you that you don't know my whole family. According to Luxio we're bonding with you two more than any other mentor team, which I told her shouldn't be surprising given the family I come from. When you have so many other Pokémon you have to treat like family, what's a few more?"

"You...see us as family?" Fennekin squeaked out.

"We can give you two more space if you'd like, I know it's not for everybody. But I've always attributed our own success in part to us having such a close friendship, and we want to make you two feel welcome with us as well. I won't be offended if it's making you uncomfortable."

"No! I…" Fennekin's smile contorted in the way it always got when she was embarrassed. "I like it. Ethan?"

"I'm glad you're willing to take such newbies like us in; I barely knew anything about exploring before you three became our mentors."

"And we're glad you're enjoying learning, because that's precisely why we agreed to become mentors."