Whilst Nigel and Wade were busy with their catches, Clarkson, James and Hammond continued their search for the Placerias.
Hammond: « Bit of an update here. So, we got most of the crew back at a camp we set up near the river capturing smaller animals, we brought Adam and some of the chaps with us and are now looking for the Placerias, now Adam is in front with Jeremy, I myself have a couple of lads in the passenger seat. I will be honest, not what I remembered about Arizona, there's a lot of swamps, there's a lot of water in general, as Nigel said we probably arrived at the end of the monsoon season. We did not get stuck luckily, but we came close several times. »
In their search for the Placerias, the group had to drive on several bogs and marshes, with little to no dry land to manoeuvre with.
James: « Here we are, the Canyon state, Arizona! »
However, after continuous driving, James stopped. « You all right? You got stuck? » one of the crew members, Tom asked. « No, it is not that. I think I just saw something moving in the marsh. It looked like a big rock; it might be something else. » James explained as he pointed at a spot in the swamp.
He then contacted his colleagues on the radio. « All right everybody, stop the cars. I think I saw something moving. » James warned the two. « Yeah, I think I saw something too. » Hammond added, as he saw another rock moving. Then there were two rocks. Then three. As the three cars stopped, the Top Gear trio got their eyes set on 10 rocks moving in the swampy terrain.
As the rocks moved to drier ground, the humans got a good look at the herd of animals. They were around 3,5 meters long, with large heads measuring 68 centimetres long with a powerful neck, strong legs, and a barrel-shaped body. They were mostly dark yellow in colour, except for the belly, the throat, most of the neck, the maxilla, and a mask around the eyes, which were light brown.
« Crickey those are not rocks! » James exclaimed. « The Placerias! We found the Placerias! » Clarkson laughed happily as the group found their target. The huge herd got out of the mud and water of the swamp, some drinking water, while other feasted on branches with their powerful beaks, while some dug up some roots. What seemed to be two males also seemed to clash with one another, as they used their tusks to fight.
Clarkson: « Now I am no zoologist, but Nigel has told me a few things about the animals that live here, especially the Placerias. They may look like anorexic Trainceratups (Triceratops) but they are not related to dinosaurs. They are a much more ancient type of animals called "Therapsids." In fact, they are much closer related to us humans than dinosaurs. Once many different varieties of these powerful creatures were swaggering across this landscape, but now the Placerias are the only ones of their kind that remain. They are an endangered species. »
Clarkson: The last of the Placerias will ultimately die out at the end of the Triassic, as dinosaurs and other archosaurs begun to rise to the top. That is, unless we can save them.
« They seem to behave like hippos. They are probably just as aggressive, so it isn't wise to get close to them. » Adam explained. « I think the best thing we can do is following the herd to dry land. Once there we can drive the herd off towards the portal. I think it might be the best option. » James proposed. « Yeah, I think we should do that. » Hammond agreed.
With that in mind, the three cars followed the Placerias to dry land.
Clarkson: But as we prepared to enact our plan, things soon became more complicated, as newcomers in this swampy land decided to show up.
Another herd of herbivores arrived, much bigger than the Placerias one. Both sides started to grunt and growl at one another, with the new herd using deep squeaking and squealing noises. Eventually, the Placerias herd was forced to move away from the area.
They were huge quadruped reptiles, some being 5 meters long, while others being 6. Both animals had large shoulder spikes. The forelimbs were much shorter than the hindlimbs.
Their heads were relatively small, about 37 centimetres long. They had slender, forked premaxillae that turned up and expanded in the front, creating a shovel-like structure.
All were heavily armoured. The carapaces were made up of two rows of median scutes surrounded by two more rows of lateral scutes. The lateral scutes had well-developed spine-like processes which pointed out laterally and dorso-posteriorly. There were five rows of spines, increasing in size anteriorly. The front spines were much larger, around 28 centimetres long, and were recurved. The fourth spines varied in length in each individual, but remains shorter than the fifth in all of them.
Dorsally, some were black with their undersides being cream-coloured, others were dark green in the back, yellow-green in the belly and the rest of the body was dark yellow-green.
« Bollocks! This is not good! » James exclaimed, as more of the new herbivores poured in the scene.
Clarkson: « Right, Nigel told us about these. They are Desmatosuchus, some sort of Triassic pig. Well, they're not related to pigs, they're more related to crocodiles. They certainly do not look friendly. ».
Clarkson: Desmatosuchus are Aetosaurs, heavily armoured reptiles belonging to the extinct order Aetosauria. They were medium- to large-sized omnivorous or herbivorous animals very abundant in the Triassic. All have small heads, upturned snouts, erect limbs, and a body ornamented with four rows of plate-like osteoderms. They are the living proof that tanks are older than humanity itself, and during the Triassic, they were everywhere. There seem to be two species here, Desmatosuchus haplocerus and Desmatosuchus spurensis.
After having driven off the Placerias, they turned to the cars, squealing, and pointing their spikes at the humans.
Clarkson: But one thing is certain. These certainly do not look like friendly anemuls (animals). Having driven off the Placerias, they start to target us.
« They have scared the Triassic hippos from their feeding grounds! What are they gonna do to us!? » Clarkson exclaimed. After a while, the Desmatosuchus herds mostly stopped to squeal and threaten the cars. But the situation was still tense, as the herd had essentially encircled the cars, digging in search of roots.
James: « To understand how bad the situation is, we cannot just start to drive all willy-nilly, we're in a swamp and there's a lot of mud. If we drive in the wrong direction, the cars are stuck. On the other hand, these Desmatosuchus are a bit too close for my tastes. I certainly do not like those spikes, they're as big as a kitchen knife and just as sharp. »
Clarkson: As time passed, the Desmatosuchus became more aggressive.
Hammond: « It is not the same situation as the Placerias. These things obviously never saw a car in their lives, and in a world where everything is trying to maul you, a lot of the times new things are things that want to kill you. We are quite big on our cars and they don't like that I think. »
As the Desmatosuchus became bolder, they started to use their shoulder spikes to damage the sides of the cars.
James: « Right, if they just use their spikes on the doors, we will just get scratched cars. But the thing is, if they get the spikes under the tires, not only they can pierce the tires, they can badly damage the chassis, or the transmission. Also, we are talking about a 620-pound animal here, they're as heavy as horses, and there's a lot of them. »
One large Desmatosuchus charged against Hammond car, piercing its door not too deeply, but it was enough to give the driver a good scare. « Christ Hammond, you okay!? » James asked worried on the radio. « Yeah, I'm fine, but this chap here doesn't like the Campagnola much! » Hammond responded, wincing as the Desmatosuchus hit the door with its tail.
Clarkson: Mercifully, the herd eventually loses interest in us, giving us a chance to hit the road.
« Christ, that was terrifying! » James exclaimed on the radio. « Aggressive defence must be the way they deal with predators. » Adam explained. « Right, well we are not catching the Placerias herd any time now. They only "road" we had at our disposal has been blocked by the Desmatosuchus, while the rest is just swamps and bogs. I think the best option is to go back to the camp, plan our next move and see if we can repair whatever damage the Desmatosuchus did to our cars. » Clarkson proposed.
Clarkson: Nearly a day gone, and no Placerias saved. Thankfully the cars did not get too damaged from our encounter with the Triassic pigs, and no one was hurt. Once in the camp, we can better plan our next operation, and hopefully receive help from Nigel and Wade. Or so we thought.
« So, they will not answer the radio. » Clarkson asked one of the crew members. « Yes. » he responded. « Not even Nigel crew? » Clarkson asked again. « We tried. They most likely managed to save some animals and are now in the 21st century. The Time Portal acts kinda funny, one day here might as well be an hour back at home. » the crew member explained.
Right now, they and the Top Gear trio were sitting near a campfire eating some cornbread and stew. For starting the fire, they did use the native wood, not without cleaning the area to avoid a wildfire. « So what do we do, we go back in the 21st century as well? » Hammond asked. « Well the thing is, we found a Placerias herd, and hopefully they haven't moved much. If we go back they might as well migrate to another bloody state and we wouldn't know. What we can do is try and find a way to lure that herd towards the portal and finish the mission right here right now. » James proposed.
« I don't think we should go right now. We should await until morning, then we can plan our next move. » Adam proposed. « Good call. Also could we see what creatures you chaps have got in our absence? » Clarkson asked. « Sure, we'll bring the cages. » one of the crew members said, as he brought two cages and several water tanks.
Inside one of the cages was a peculiar lizard. It was one metre long, with large claws on its second fingers, which were flat at their tip. The claws were also cleft at their tip. It had a distinctive, triangular head, which resemble a bird.
It was in many ways like a chameleon. Above the shoulders was a hump. It had derived hands with two fingers opposed to the remaining three. It had a broad, prehensile tail, tipped with a large "claw". It was also tall and flat like those of newts and crocodiles. The head, shoulder, and pelvic regions were black, while the midbody was light tan speckled with brown. The other animal was identical and of similar sizes, but bronze-coloured with two yellowish stripes that ran lengthwise on either side of the spine.
Clarkson: « Right, if I'm not mistaken, Nigel told us these are Drepanosaurs, a group of extinct reptiles that lived approximately between 230 and 210 million years ago. They all had grasping limbs and prehensile tails, adaptions for arboreal and digging lifestyles. They are kinda like pangulins (pangolins), really. These two are among the latter, they are Ancistronychus paradoxus and Skybalonyx skapter, they cannot climb things but they can dig things. Cute little critters, I also enjoy the fact they are not trying to murder us. »
As Clarkson placed the two lizards back in their cages, James looked at the water tanks, containing several lungfishes. They were around 50 cm long, with dark brown scales above and bright yellow scales below.
James: « Nowadays lungfishes are quite rare, I mean there are none in the UK, and none in Arizona. Unless we count competitive fishing in consideration, but I mean we do not consider the catfish an integral part of the British fauna now, do we? Anyway, this is Ceratodus tunuensis, a specie of lungfishes that back in the day was quite widespread. I mean this thing was found in the United States, Argentina, Greenland, England, Germany, Egypt, Madagascar, China, and Australia. Hell, they will survive up until the Eocene, the little pests. Anyway, interesting little critter, also suck on that Wade, you have got competition! »
After having placed the animals back in their cages, the group prepared to retire for the night, before Hammond caught the glimpse of a small critter moving near the camp, seemingly scavenging for cornbread crumbles on the ground.
It was what seemed to be a tiny, 9 cm long mammal. It was mostly dark orange in colour, but the flanks were orange. Its back, nostril, and several elegant stripes on its body, head, back limbs, and tail were dark red-orange, while the mask on its eyes, feet, hands, and the stripes on its front limbs were dark orange in colour. Most of the head, the throat, belly, and tail were light brown.
« Uh…guys? I think there is a rat in the camp. » Hammond quietly said called for his colleagues. The other two men came to see what the fuss was all about, with Clarkson sighing annoyed. « Hammond you idiot, there is no rats in the Triassic, there's barely any mammals in the first place. » he scolded his colleague. « Well, what is that furry critter supposed to be then? » James asked.
« I do believe it is a cynodont, a missing link between reptiles and mammals. » Clarkson responded. « I think Nigel said that here in the Chinle formation the only named cynodont was Kataigidodon venetus. » James said. « Indeed, it is! Can you believe that this little mouse like aminal (animal) will give rise to the most extraordinary creatures on the planet? » Clarkson commented.
« What, the dinosaurs? » Hammond joked. « Yes Hammond, that furry proto-mammal will give rise to dinosaurs. » Clarkson sarcastically responded. « In his defence you said the most extraordinary creatures on the planet, I do not think a lion can stomp on a T-rex, it's the other way around. » James added. « So should we try and rescue it? » Hammond asked.
« I mean obviously, it is going to go extinct or be replaced. » Clarkson responded, as he sneaked up the tiny animal. But before the trio could take a step, the tiny cynodont darted away in the underbrush. « Cock. » was all James said.
Clarkson: It was obvious we would have little chance to catch the Triassic rat in the middle of the night. Right now, the best option is to just go to sleep, and plan our next move in the morning.
Xxxxxxx
Morning came, but the crew and the trio still slept for a while. But as they did, they were suddenly awoken by the grunting of several animals. As Clarkson got out of his tent, he got his sight on one of several weird reptiles.
Some were about four meters long, with a maximum carapace width of almost seventy centimetres. The osteoderms were not entirely fused. Two small squarish osteoderms formed the outside of the row, and two much broader osteoderms formed the inside of the row and covered most of the back. Each of the lateral osteoderms had a raised boss towards the centre at the posterior end of the osteoderm, and were almost bent around the side of the creatures, with a dorsal flange along the back contacting the dorsal osteoderms and a lateral flange running a little way down the side, giving them quite a boxy look. They also had ventral osteoderms, flat and rectangular. They were orange, with a light brown belly.
The other reptiles were about 3 metres long. They too were quadrupedal animals covered in thick armoured scales that ran down the length of their bodies. They had a very small head for their size; they were only 25 centimetres long. They had a beak-like tip that arched upwards. They were dark brown with orange back and belly, each with two thin parallel yellow lines.
The herd of herbivores walked inside of the camp, while occasionally digging up roots to eat with their shovel like nostrils.
Clarkson: « Right, well it seems our camp has caught the attention of more Aetosaurs. These ones in peculiar, they seem to be Calyptosuchus wellesi and Stagonolepis robertsoni. Bit weird to find the latter here, considering it lived in Scotland and Poland, probably driving a Toyota Corolla. But then again, the whole planet at this point was just a huge continent, they probably walked all the way here. »
Clarkson: With our beauty rest rudely interrupted by the Triassic pigs, we set out on foot for the Placerias….and possibly for dry land where to drive.
The trio started to walk in a patch of dry land not too far from the camp, looking for clues for the Placerias.
« Can you believe this place is going to become a giant desert in the future? » Clarkson noted. « Can imagine it already. Instead of Aetosaurs scurrying around we now have feral pigs and rednecks riding on top of Honda Civic. » James commented. « What about the Toyota Land Cruiser? » Hammond asked. « Oh come on, they're red necks! They obviously prefer the Honda Civic for its resilience! » James responded.
« Well, you could pick up a Land Rover Defender and look like you don't live in a little hellhole in the desert. » Clarkson added. « Well, they wouldn't care, the population of Arizona is made up only by old people and the senile! » James responded. « Anyway, we should take our Placerias hunt more seriously, and this looks like a good place to search for them. Look around you! » Hammond interrupted the conversation, as the trio got a good look at their surroundings.
All around them was dug up terrain, with thousands of holes all around them, the terrain having been devastated.
Hammond: « This is proof that animals have been here, especially aetosaurs. What they do is use their snout to dug up roots, they're kinda like pigs in a way, they dig the terrain up and search for roots or anything else to eat. But they aren't the only ones that do this, Placerias also did this, they used their tusks and searched for food by digging, just like aetosaurs. Which means, either we have found ourselves more Triassic pigs, or we just found clues as to where the Placerias might be. »
Clarkson: But as we searched for more proof that Placerias have been here, we fail to notice other more dangerous critters.
A roar got the attention of the trio, who quickly hid behind a bush. « What do you think was that? » Hammond asked. « The thing that will kill you, probably. » Clarkson joked. « Oh crikey, it is the Jason Derek Brownsaurus! » James exclaimed at the sight of a carnivorous reptile.
It was about 4 metres long, with the tail comprising about half the body length. Its body was laterally compressed, with a long and narrow hip structure. The hind legs were about two times longer than the arms and placed close together. Five digits were present on the foot, but the fifth was reduced to a small stub. The middle three toes were well-developed, giving the foot a tridactyl appearance.
It was dark green with bright yellow-green belly and several dark-blue stripes on the body and spots on the head, which was red-orange.
It was competing with other members of its kind over a Placerias carcass.
Clarkson: Not exactly what James guessed. These are Poposaurus gracilis, and while phytosaurs dominate the water, here they are the top dogs in this wetland haven. They are pseudosuchians from the Late Triassic of the southwestern United States. They most specifically are Poposauroidea, an unusual group of Triassic pseudosuchians that includes sail-backed, beaked, and aquatic forms. Like theropod dinosaurs, Poposaurus was an obligate biped, meaning that it walked on two legs rather than four, but overall was still a crocodile. Luckily these ones were busy mauling a dead Placerias, which meant two things. First, they will not maul us, and second, the Placerias aren't that far themselves.
« God that is a weird cougar. » James joked. « Does Arizona have a big problem with cougars? » Hammond asked. « I think you can hunt them there once you avoid PETA and communists. » Clarkson then said.
« So, if they…killed the Placerias, the others can't be that far, right? » Hammond asked. « It must be. Because the thing is, on the right that is the swamp where the Desmatosuchus herd attacked us. On the left there is the river. If we go forward, because this patch of land is slightly elevated, the water has dried up earlier, it is pretty much the only area where we can drive, but also the only place where Placerias can safely graze anything that isn't horsetail. What we can do is go forward and look for a place where we can set up a trap of some sort. » Clarkson explained.
Clarkson: We walked away from the Poposaurus, and eventually found a spot where Placerias seem to be active.
The trio found themselves in a patch of dry land with ferns and other plants. It was obvious that Placerias had been here, as the ground was dug up, and they would likely return, as the patch still had a lot of vegetation.
Clarkson: Now that we found the place where they forage, it was time to activate our genius.
After the trio returned to the camp to get the cars and the crew, they begun to construct a trench line on one side of the patch.
Clarkson: « It is very likely that the Placerias will come here to feed, and this (he points at the trench) is where our genius shines. The Placerias very likely will come from that way (he pointed at the left), we saw signs that there is where they come from, footprints, crushed vegetation, you name it. Now, because we are on dry land, we can drive our cars to our complete leisure without fear of getting stuck. So, what we'll do, we'll wait for the herd to come to feed and force them towards the portal. Because we built up the trench, they will not escape that way (he pointed at the right), but only that way (he pointed at the left). »
James: « With the right being blocked by the trench line, all we have to do is to lure the Placerias on the left towards the portal, and we're good to go! »
« Sometimes, our genius, it is…. it is tangible. » Clarkson commented. « Yeah! It is like it has a mass! » Hammond added. « It is there when we leave. » James added. « I mean, we planned many things over the years, but this is our magnus opus. We clearly beat Nigel in his job at saving prehistoric creatures. » Clarkson proclaimed.
Clarkson: With all prepared, all we had to do was to wait for the Placerias.
Soon, one lone Placerias was the first to arrive at the patch, followed by others of its kind.
Clarkson: And they did not seem to be the only animals in the patch.
Alongside the Placerias came a herd of Desmatosuchus, Calyptosuchus and Stagonolepis.
Clarkson: And this time, with much more food available, they did not seem to be at each other's throat. Still, the size of the herds showed that the Placerias were not doing well.
James: « Now I am no zoologist, but it just shows in prospective how badly the Placerias are doing. I mean, there's so few of them, and we KNOW that they lived in huge herds. I mean the ones at St. Johns, it was a herd of 40 animals, now here there's barely 10 of them. I have no clue just what the hell is going on, but they are just not doing well. »
Clarkson: But as we turned the engines on to chase the Placerias and all manner of herbivores towards the portal, we soon noticed a pair of hungry eyes on the bushes.
A group of Poposaurus hid among the ferns, ambushing the herbivores. Some even used the trench to get closer.
Before the herbivores noticed the Poposaurus, James did. « Oh, cock. » he cursed, as a Poposaurus darted from its hiding place, charging at a nearby Placerias. Without the latter getting a chance to notice, it bit the animal on the side, trying to wearing down.
Clarkson: Animals such as Placerias would have been common prey for predators like Poposaurus. Still, a Placerias is far from defenceless. At 1 ton of weight, and armed with powerful tusks, it's at least 10 times the weight of even the biggest Poposaurus.
With ease, the Placerias shook the carnivore off, and joined the rest of the herd to form an aggressive defence against the carnivores. « Cockheads! » Clarkson cursed at the Poposaurus; the plan having been compromised.
Clarkson: Before we could spring into action, the Placerias had begun to chase down the Poposaurus away from where we set up the portal.
As the Poposaurus started to wiredraw from the patch, the aetosaurs moved away, closer, and closer to where the portal was.
Clarkson: With the Placerias moving away from the portal, our best chance was to just get ourselves a consolation price, in the form of Triassic pigs.
The trio quickly turned the car engines on, and started to drive forward, sounding the horn to further scare the aetosaurs towards the portal, which had been opened by Adam in the meantime.
As that happened, the Poposaurus, who were not that far, noticed the aetosaurs running for their lives, and joined the chase.
« Oh, NOW you come and help, you insufferable morons! » Clarkson cursed, as he chased the herbivore herd towards the portal.
Xxxxxxx
Back in the 21st century, what the crew member said was true: time had passed differently. What was a day in Triassic Arizona was little more than an hour in Prehistoric Park.
Nigel and Wade were preparing to return to Arizona before the Time Portal opened, a huge herd of aetosaurs rushing in as best as they could.
« Oh, my giddy aunt! » Nigel exclaimed, as he dodged a Desmatosuchus charging in. « Lads, what have you done!? We just got the others to their homes! » Bob cursed as he saw the herbivores rushing in, followed the Poposaurus and, lastly, by the Top Gear cars. Soon, all the animals were lured in their temporal pens, waiting for their definitive homes at Prehistoric Park.
« Lads! You all right!? » Nigel exclaimed at the trio. « Would have been better if the bloody spikey Triassic pigs did not show up and even BETTER if the Poposaurus went extinct! » James complained. « What happened back there? » Wade asked. « We tried to drive the Placerias towards the portal but the bloody Poposaurus forced them away from it, that's what happened. » James responded.
« Better question: where the hell were you!? » Hammond complained. « We had a situation. We also captured several animals, and some required a lot of space. Sorry we couldn't come and help. » Nigel apologized.
« So what do we have here? » Bob asked. « Well for starters, we have four herds of Triassic pigs, Desmatosuchus haplocerus, Desmatosuchus spurensis, Calyptosuchus wellesi and Stagonolepis robertsoni, two Triassic pangolins, Ancistronychus paradoxus and Skybalonyx skapter, a group of prehistoric lungfishes, Ceratodus tunuensis, and then a group of croc-dinos, Poposaurus gracilis. » Clarkson explained.
« That is a lot of animals! » Bob commented. « So, what about you? What have you saved? » Hammond asked. « We can show you, as well as their enclosure. Then we will work on getting the new animals' new homes. » Nigel explained.
Xxxxxxx
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please comment so I can learn your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions, so stay tuned. Also remember to like and follow. See you on the next chapter.