A/N: I was going to update on the weekend when I realised I posted early last week. Eep! Thank you to my beta and pre-readers, you know who they are if you read my author's notes. Does anyone read them, btw?
Anywho, unlucky 13. Ooooh...
Hoodwinked
Chapter 13
"Oh, Jesus!" Alice exclaims, laying herself on my bed and draping an over-dramatized arm across her face. "Tell me again how you're not in love with him?"
She made an unexpected visit after dinner. It was Edward's idea; he told her to get a head's up with me and to find out why I'm acting so weird.
"I-I'm not," I stammer; it doesn't go unnoticed.
"Of course not," she says completely unconvinced as she peeks up at me. "First you offer your virginity to him through a bet, and now it's through guilt—why would I ever think you're in love with him?"
"Alice..." I mumble.
"This is going to end so badly, and I'm the one who's going to have to pick up the pieces," she adds, pulling herself upright again. "Though, considering he's my brother, I really should have seen how badly he has it for you before now."
"He doesn't," I counter, sounding even less convincing, but it's practically inconceivable.
"You need your eyes checked, girl." She scoffs. "As sure as I know Jas is the hottest nineteen-year-old guy on the planet, I know my brother is in love with you."
"Please," I roll my eyes. "Edward is better looking."
"Um—excuse me?" Alice says, arching a very pointed brow as I immediately realise my error.
"I mean—I didn't mean it like that, but come on, he's bloody handsome as sin."
"Is he...?" she drawls with over confidence, reminding me again that she's Edward's sister.
"Stop it," I say, feeling my face burn. "Did you give him a photo of me, by the way?" I ask, needing to sway her off the subject.
She tilts her head in momentary contemplating it. "Yeah. Why?"
"I saw it in his wallet."
"He asked me for it."
"When?"
"The day you and Newton broke up."
"Ah..." I nod my head and sit beside her on my bed. "I feel bad, Alice. I mean I feel completely shitty!"
"So, you offered to have sex with him..." she points out how arbitrary she obviously thinks it is.
"Yeah," I admit, releasing a deep breath.
"Hey, if you want to, I'm all on board, but please don't do it out of guilt. Please," she appeals to me, and I realise she's suddenly serious.
"I'm not," I assure her. "And he'll probably mess up again, anyway."
I'm not just going to give it to him without a clause. He still has to stop calling me snotface and virgin. Plus, he can no longer mess with me about being in love with him.
She snorts dryly. "He did it once—he'll never do it again. You can count on that."
"That's what you said the first time," I remind her.
"One mistake, Bella. That's all Edward needs. God," she plants her face into her outstretched hand, "this is such a mess."
"No, it isn't!" I stand firm, convinced she's overreacting.
"He's my brother," she explains. "He'll fuck you over and then it will cause all kinds of shit between us."
"It won't," I promise her, secretly praying I'm right. "It's just...how could I forget?" I declare, frustrated at myself.
"Forget what?" she asks, puzzled.
"How close we were. Christ, remember how many times we got married in your backyard?" I say as Alice breaks into an immediate grin.
"I know," she muses. "You wore your Cinderella dress and he used to steal Dad's ties. I think he's always been in love with you."
"Would you stop that?" I shove her playfully. "He isn't."
"Bella..." she says with a certain degree of pity in her voice. "No guy goes to the lengths Edward is unless they have some serious feelings going on. He's not messing with you. He's completely playing you into it."
"...W-what do you mean...?" I hesitate to ask, but she's making it sound ominous.
"It's how he does things. He gets into your head until you start believing it was all your idea. His ego is too big for him to admit it, so he's trying to get you to fess up first."
"But...I don't feel that way about him..." I offer with entirely too much ambiguity, and naturally Alice only snorts.
"Nine months with Mike and you refused to have sex with him. A week with Edward and you're practically throwing it at him," she emphasises, cocking a brow and looking exactly like her bother.
"Have you been talking about this with him?!" I demand, because I really wouldn't put it past her!
"No!" she immediately asserts, sounding repulsed. "You're my best friend, he's my brother—ew!"
"Well, why is it he's said the exact same thing to me numerous times already?"
"Um, because it's kinda stark." That eyebrow again, and I only sigh. "Bella," she adds, her voice dropping with concern, "he's not that little boy he once was. It's clouding your judgement. Mum dying changed him. He's a shithead because he won't let anyone hurt him. He won't let you in."
I gauge her for a moment, processing her words. "Alice, you're contradicting yourself. One minute you're telling me he's in love with me, and the next that he won't let me in."
She sighs in sudden frustration. "You can be in love with someone and not give yourself fully to them."
I shake my head convinced she has it backward. "He was with Lauren for two years, don't forget."
She gazes at me, her forehead knotting as though she can't comprehend my thought process. "Do you have any idea how many times they broke up and got back together?" I shake my head again, and she continues, "Edward was never sure about her. He was really on edge when they were together. I swear he only had her around for the regular sex."
"Alice..." I mumble awkwardly because I don't really want to hear details of his sex life. I know how many girls he's slept with and I'm okay with it, but four feels like Everest when I'm stagnating on zero.
"You don't like hearing about it, do you?" he asks and while her tone is gentle, it's obvious she already knows the answer.
"Not really," I admit, breaking her gaze, "but it's more because this whole pretending thing is messing with my head—I'm just projecting," I quickly rationalise when she opened her mouth to interject.
"Projecting what?" she's not convinced and I realise there isn't anything I can say to her that will sway her.
I still try, though.
"You're my best friend. If I really did feel something for him, I'd tell you. You know I would."
"I don't think you're even aware of it yourself, yet, but Edward is definitely aware. You need to know that. Get him to fess up. Don't let him play you!" she stresses, her tone becoming impassioned. "Jesus, he treated Lauren like shit. If he does that to you, I'm going to castrate him!"
"Did he...?" I'm almost too afraid to ask. "How?"
"He was just a moody little shit—constantly."
"Edward? Moody?" I echo sceptically, because moody is not a word you could use to describe him. At least, I couldn't anyway.
"Yes. Hard to believe, I know, but he was."
"Probably because he wasn't really happy with her," I surmise, as Alice shrugs, obviously becoming disinterested.
"Maybe, I don't know. So"—she pulls herself to her feet—"should I tell him it's just guilt that's got you acting weird?"
"Yeah, but he already knows."
"I'm not sure he believes you. He never held anything against you, Bella. You have to know that." She's serious again, and it bothers me that she's so concerned for me; that she has such little faith in her own brother.
"I know, he told me that, but it doesn't lessen anything. He was abandoned by everyone, and the worse thing is I knew. I knew he was in pain, Alice, but I pretended otherwise."
"Bella, we were ten. What could you have done?" she attempts to insert reason as she wraps her arm around my shoulders.
"Just be his friend," I mumble, gazing at the floor. "Like I'd been for years."
"It was hard for both of us. Edward just dealt with it differently. He pushed everyone away. If you attempted to force your way in, you could have made him worse. He needed to make peace with it on his own."
I half shrug a shoulder and glance back up at her. "He admitted it to me on the way home."
"...Admitted what?"
"That I wasn't there for him."
"He did?"
"Yeah."
"He's not holding a grudge against you or anything, is he?" Her voice tenses and I can already imagine her returning home to slap him in the back of the head.
I shake my head again. "No, but it doesn't make me feel any better."
"Bella...?" she speaks up softly.
"What?"
"Guilt is so much easier to grasp. It's black and white. How you feel about him though? That's a whole mess of grey."
"...What...?" I begin confused, when she explains her meaning.
"I think you're clinging to guilt because it makes more sense right now."
I scoff, wanting to laugh, but I don't. "Maybe, I don't know."
"I have an idea." Her tone brightens and she squeezes me.
"What?" I ask wryly, not sure I want to dig myself deeper into any more of her ideas.
"Continue on with the charade, but stop fighting him. Kiss him, fool around with him, get right into it and see if there really is something there."
"You really think...?" I let it go because she's right; I'd rather let myself wallow in guilt than even scratch the surface of what she's alluding to. "Alright," I relent, expelling a resigned breath. "I'll think about it."
"Good!" she says chirpily. "'Kay, I'd better get going. Dad's leaving for his business trip soon. A week with the house to ourselves, don't forget." She winks. "You alright?"
"I'm fine," I assure her, breaking into a warm smile.
"Call me if you start second guessing, okay?"
"Alright."
"And how good will tomorrow feel?" she says, referring to our final exam.
"God, I can't wait," I agree, allowing the excitement to momentarily overshadow whatever the hell it is that's got me so bothered.
It's guilt, that's all, I tell myself after Alice hugs me goodbye and leaves.
Guilt...
"Sweetie?" my mother says, poking her head around my door two seconds later. "Can I come in?"
She asks now, and I'm beginning to think it's infinitely worse than all her over-zealous vicariousness. "Sure."
She sits herself beside me on my bed and takes both my hands in hers. "Okay, I've thought about it, and I think your father's right."
"Mum!" I burst, horrified by the idea of it. "I am not watching that—and you can't ask Edward to, either!"
She laughs. "Oh, honey, I don't mean that. I mean, I think it's time we get you on the pill."
I pause for a moment, and release my breath in a rush of relief. "Okay." I concede, because she's right. It is.
"Good," she adds, sounding a little surprised that I'm so willing. "Let's go then." She rises to her feet.
"What? —now?"
"Of course, now. I already made you an appointment."
"But...I have to study for chemistry tomorrow," I put up a weak defensive, because I'd rather go on my own, or with Alice.
"Oh, come on." Grabbing both my hands in hers she pulls me after her. "It'll be fun."
Fun? If your idea of fun is having your mother bring up your still intact hymen in the presence of strangers—albeit medical professionals—then sure, it was fun.
"Mum, no one needed to know I'm a virgin!" I burst the moment we climb in the car to go home. "I was mortified."
"I wanted to make sure you didn't wind up needing a pap smear, or one of those horrid pelvic exams, sweetie. Wasn't it good I was there?"
"I wouldn't need one. I'm eighteen and a bloody a virgin!" I cannot believe I have to keep repeating it.
"Well, you never know," she waves her hand dismissively. "Now remember what the doctor said. You need extra protection for the first month, so make sure Edward puts a raincoat on. The pull-out method isn't full proof, either. How do you think you got here?"
"Please stop," I mutter, positive I'm plummeting back into Hell. "You're getting too invested again."
"My gosh, I have never seen your father go so pale in my entire life." She chuckles, completely ignoring me as she turns over the engine.
"Mum..." I complain, but let it go. If anything, I'm thankful I was born in a hospital with zero pre-birth footage of my mother making bizarre guttural sounds from deep within her diaphragm.
"You were the cutest, teeniest baby, but I am too young to be a grandmother."
"I'm old enough to know how not to get myself knocked up!" I declare.
"So was I, but...here you are."
. . .
I notice them straight away; the instant Mum pulls onto the driveway to park her car in the garage. Dad and Edward talking in Edward's front yard. Edward has his head bowed, and in an act of comfort that looks almost alien, my father places his hand to his shoulder.
"He's no doubt got into it with his father again," my mother puts a troubled voice to my suspicions as my heart reacts to the very thought of it.
"He better not have laid a bloody finger on him," I mutter darkly as I release myself from the seatbelt and exit the car.
Edward notices me approaching. He looks up, his gaze meeting mine for half a second, before immediately turning on his heel and heading back inside. It surprises me so much I stop in my tracks, and just as my father turns to me.
"Let him go," he advises me with a weary sigh.
"What happened?" I ask, allowing him to put his arm around me and lead me back in the house.
"Carlisle got stuck into him again," he states what I already suspect.
"Did he hit him?" My voice tightens, my hands clenching into fists.
"I didn't witness anything." Squeezing my shoulder, he releases me.
I return to my room, typing a message to Edward as I do. Are you okay?
Yeah. He replies almost immediately.
Did he hit you?
Yeah. He's off, and I'm immediately fuming.
Bastard!
Don't worry about it.
Do you want me to come over?
No. Study for your exam. I'll be right.
I can't study when I'm worried about you.
I'm fine.
I'm coming! I insist.
Fine, pain in the neck.
Alice opens the door, releasing a heavy breath as she does. "He's in his room."
"What happened?" I ask, dropping my voice covertly.
She shakes her head, her brow bunching behind her barely concealed emotions. "Nothing. Edward doesn't do anything to set him off, that's the thing. Dad just can't look at him. Not with Mum's eyes staring back, anyway." Her voice softly catches, and clearing her throat roughly she turns away from me. "Talk to him, okay?"
I nod and impulsively pull her into my arms. "I will," I promise her, and it's long overdue.
I brought my books and study notes with me, and hitching the bag further up my shoulder I hesitantly knock on Edward's door. It opens two seconds later.
"Why are you knocking?" he asks, flashing me an odd look as he grabs my elbow and pulls me inside, but there's something raw about his expression. His cheekbone is red and slightly swollen; a bruise already forming. He's going to have a black eye for the formal and I'm seething.
"I'm sorry," I reply in a whisper, dropping my book bag to the floor and stretching on my toes to wrap my arms around his neck.
He lets me, for a moment anyway, before he edges me back. "Geez, you're weepy," he attempts to make light of it, but I can see straight through him; he's upset. He's really upset.
"He can't keep treating you like this," I say softly, having to fight the urge to raise my hand to his injured face.
"While I'm under his roof, he thinks he can," he mutters, shrugging a shoulder with completely feigned indifference. "What's the bag for? Plan on sleeping over with me, are you?" His lips twitch with that cagey grin of his but his eyes are telling another story, and I can't stand it.
"Just—stop being such an idiot and let me hug you!" I blurt a little too hastily, before I once again pull him to me. "And you're not allowed to say it, either," I pre-empt him.
His breath shoots through his nose in muffled laughter even as he tightens his arms momentarily around me. "As long as you know I'm thinking it..." he murmurs against my ear.
I shove him back playfully, and for a moment we smile at each other like we once did; when we were buddies; when we pretended to get married in his backyard. He breaks it all too soon, running his palm to the back of his neck and looking almost awkward. "Want a drink?" he offers.
"Yeah. With ice."
"With ice..." he echoes, and this time it's me who severs his gaze.
A week ago, if anyone told me Edward would be bringing this side out in me, I would have laughed, but here I am red-faced and flustered in the shithead's presence again.
What makes it infinitely worse is he's well aware of it.
He returns a few moments later carrying two glasses of coke; only one with ice.
"Here you go, your highness," he says, handing it to me.
I take it, and grabbing his free hand I pull him towards his bed. "Come sit down."
He complies, sitting himself beside me and staring at me with his forehead slightly knotted in confusion.
"What...?" I ask, scooping a cube of ice from the glass with my fingers and placing it delicately to his cheek.
"Ow!" He immediately winces.
"Baby..." I tease him, until I allow my thoughts to probe deeper. "Why do you let him hit you?" I ask gently.
"What can I do?" he mumbles, his eyes breaking from mine only fleetingly.
"Defend yourself."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Because," he begins abruptly, expelling a heavy breath, and starting over. "Because, I don't want Mum to be disappointed in me—where ever the hell she is."
"I think she'd be more disappointed in your father by the way he treats you," I reply quietly, continuing to run the rapidly melting ice over his injured face.
"That's between him and her." He sighs again and grabs my hand, taking the ice from me. He holds it in his palm, watching for several seconds as it completely melts. "If I didn't have two years to go until I get my license I'd leave, but I can't."
"...Where would you go?" I ask hesitantly.
"I don't know, but away from here," he mutters, wiping his palm dry against his shirt and looking up to meet my gaze. "What...?"
"Nothing," I say, shaking my head.
"You'd miss me, would you?" He nudges me and breaks into a teasing grin.
"Of course, I'd miss you," I admit truthfully, dropping my gaze to the floorboards of his room. I don't like the idea of him leaving. I don't like it, at all.
Scoffing his sudden amusement through his nose, his drapes his arm around my shoulders and squeezes me. "What are you acting all weepy for? I'm not moving to Mars."
"Shut up...shithead," I murmur; he laughs.
"I'm not allowed to say it, so I won't." He deliberately clears his throat, and tightening his elbow around my neck he tugs me closer, planting his lips to the side of my head.
"You're so delusional," I reply, smiling slightly to myself.
"Sure," he drawls with that self-assurance of his as I contemplate elbowing him. "Tell me about Alice's idea?" he asks before I can decide on it.
"Huh?" I pull back fractionally to meet his eyes.
"She told me earlier that you're going along with some new idea."
I huff shortly, and roll my eyes. "I never said I'd go along with anything. I said I'd think about it."
"Think about what?"
"She wants me to..." I begin but abandon it. I can't exactly give him any more ammunition.
"To..." he presses me.
"Nothing."
"Tell me."
"No."
"—ALICE!" he suddenly calls out before I clamp my palm to his mouth.
"Shut up!"
"Well, tell me."
"You'll get all...you," I attempt to explain.
"What's that mean?" he tilts his head with his grin now broad.
His door suddenly bursts open, drawing both our attention.
"What?" Alice deadpans, sounding annoyed and placing a hand to her hip.
"What idea is Bella going along with?" he asks her hastily as I attempt to smother him. I fail miserably of course, leaving him in laughter.
Alice sighs very deliberately, but she's unable to conceal her smile. "To relax and see if you really can make her fall in love with you."
"Alice!" I protest, because that's not what she suggested. Not at all.
Edward immediately straightens up as a smirk edges across his face. "Is that a challenge?"
A/N: I was going to comment that there wasn't a single snotface this chapter, then I remembered the do-over. I am so fail.
So, flounce/review/flame/lurk yada, yada, yada...