A/N: Sorry about the lack of spoiler this week. I was crazy busy. Thanks, as always to my beta and pre-readers. You know who they are by now.
Hoodwinked
Chapter 14
"She said I should relax and see if I have feelings for you—not to see if you could make me fall in love with you!" I blurt as Alice leaves the room with an over exaggerated sigh.
"Do you?" Edward asks, unable to wipe the smirk from his face.
"Do I, what?" I ask, jerking his arm from me, irritated.
"Have feelings for me."
"No!" I assert with a little bit too much fervour, before I decide to backtrack. "I mean, not like that..."
"Then how?"
"Huh?" I say blankly.
"What kind of feelings do you have for me?" he continues to press.
"I... I don't know," I answer, hesitating and becoming frustrated.
"You don't know?" he questions dubious, rubbing his chin.
"I'd know if I liked you!" I insist.
"Hmm..." His voice deepens, and I realise he's enjoying this.
"Stop it!" I elbow him and he laughs.
"So, what did she mean by relax, then?" his brows raise.
"Just... I don't know," I abandon it.
"Not get bent out of shape all the time?" he concludes on his own.
"Yeah, I guess," I mumble.
"But when I tell you that you get all screechy?"
I sigh deliberately and rein back my impatience. "How many times do I have to tell you? If you didn't torment me, I wouldn't get screechy."
He nudges me. "You know I'm only messing with you, though. Right?"
"For the most part," I concede, breaking into small smile.
He hangs his arm back around me. "Did you come here to relax with me?"
"You have no shame," I say ruefully. I realise I'm not angry by his attempts to bait me; in fact, all I feel is affection for the shithead.
And sympathy.
"What's the bag for?" he asks, nodding his head in the direction where I dropped it to the floor.
"I still have to study."
"You want me to help you, do you?" he asks sceptically.
"No. Well...were you any good at chemistry?"
"Pretty shit," he admits, candidly.
"You did so well in Year 10, though," I remind him.
"I had to, to get an apprenticeship. Doing Year 11 and 12 was pointless. The old man forced me to stay just to spite me," he mutters, ramming his hands in his pants and momentarily frowning to himself.
"Well, considering you were hardly there..." By the time he'd finished Year 12 he'd missed so much time he didn't qualify to sit for the HSC. It was all for nothing and only served to make his father angrier at him.
He smiles to himself, his breath shooting through his nose. "Yeah... So, do you want me to?" he veers back, but to what I have no idea.
"...Want you to what...?"
"Make you fall in love with me," he says with a smirk.
"Do you think you can?" I put to him as his brows shoot up cynically.
"Of course, I can," he says simply and with brazen over-confidence.
"So up yourself..." I say with a scoff just as I'm reminded of Alice's advice from a few hours earlier. "You have to admit it first."
"Admit what?"
"That you like me."
"I like you," he says simply with half a shrug.
"What?" I'm stumped again. "You like me?"
"Yeah."
"Romantically?"
"Romantically?" he echoes, snorting to himself.
"Well, how else would you describe it?" I demand, impatient with him again.
He doesn't reply; he only laughs at me, not nearly attempting to conceal it.
"It's always you who pushes me to kiss you, to admit I'm in love with you, and it was you who suggested we pretend"—I quote with my fingers—"for another six months," I point out as his smirk increases.
"So, what's your point?"
"You want me to be honest with you, you have to be honest with me."
"So, you think just because I like messing around with you, I must be in love with you?" He cocks a brow with all his self-assurance, but I'm no longer convinced.
"You bugged me about taking my virginity before I bet it against you, remember?"
He shrugs a shoulder. "Yeah, so?"
"It wasn't me hassling you to take it from me."
"You offered it to me after five days."
"You promised to take care of it after one," I counter.
"I told you I wouldn't hold you to it."
"Then why did you want a do-over?" I ask without hesitation.
"'Cause," is all he replies with, shrugging a shoulder again.
"'Cause why?"
"'Cause, I like you," he repeats, again way too casually.
"You like me? —how?" I stress, becoming increasingly impatient with him.
"I like hanging with you, and I'm not as against all this pretending stuff as I thought I'd be." Again, it's entirely too simple.
I pause and scrutinise him for a moment; unsure whether he's being honest or he's just messing with my head—exactly how Alice warned me he would. "Do...you want to go out with me for real?"
"Don't get too ahead of yourself."
I shove him, immediately indignant. "Stop playing mind games with me!"
"What?" He laughs, and bending down I yank my book bag from the floor.
"I'm going. I have to study," I mutter, turning my back on him when he grabs my arm.
"I told you this arvo if you wanted to go out, we would," he reminds me after yanking me back to face him.
"Don't get too ahead of yourself?" I quote him in emphasis.
"Stop trying to trap me into shit," he replies, feigning some kind of frustration while I all but balk at his audacity.
"That's exactly what you've been doing all week!"
"I'm messing with you."
"Oh my god..." I blurt allowing my head to fall back. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."
He once more grabs my hand, and when I turn to him for the second time, he lowers his head and runs his palm awkwardly to the back of his neck. "Look..."
"What?" I grumble.
"You're completely shit at pretending with me, so why don't we just agree to go out until the farewell," he suggests without meeting my eyes.
My mouth falls open, but I have nothing. Not a single syllable.
"That way I can bloody relax, and so can you," he adds as he pulls his gaze from the floor and fixes it to mine.
"Until the farewell...?" I utter.
"You should at least be my girlfriend if you're going to give me your virginity."
"Are you going to hold me to it?" I ask.
"If I think you really want me to."
"Jesus..." I almost laugh, but it's out of complete and utter bewilderment.
"What?" he asks, his forehead knotting.
"Do you like me?"
"I said I did, didn't I?"
"You like me—as girlfriend material?" I add sceptically.
"Have you always had such a low opinion of yourself, or is this what Newton did to you?" he puts to me, sounding almost serious, but then I'm not sure I can even tell anymore.
I stare at him for a moment, before shaking my head. "Is Alice right?"
"You tell me." His smirk pulls back into effect as I drop my head to my splayed palm.
"I... I don't know," I mumble, unsure what I'm even answering.
"You don't know if Alice is right?" That brow arches again but there's something else flooding his expression; something I can't quite pinpoint.
"Yeah...I don't know. You're confusing me again!" I admit with a huff. He constantly goes around in circles while contradicting every second thing he says. I'm honestly starting to feel dizzy.
"Why is everything with you a drama?" he mutters to himself.
"It's a drama because everything with you is...is—all over the place. You like me, you don't like me. You want to go out with me—you don't want to go out with me. Bloody hell!"
"Maybe because it pisses me off that for the last week you've been treating me like I'm going to fucking date rape you!" He suddenly sounds angry, but why I have no idea.
"Because you took every opportunity to throw my virginity in my face!" I retort, propping my hands on my hips and turning to face him squarely.
"I'm joking, you pain in the neck!" his expression begins to darken and I know I have roughly five seconds before he shoves me in the forehead and tells me to go home.
"Joking?" I echo. "If I started teasing you over Newton's brother fucking your girlfriend, would you think it's funny?"
He hesitates, blinking several times as if he's processing it. "I..." he begins quietly before abandoning it and dropping his head. "Look, this is shit. Maybe you should go."
"What?" I utter in complete disbelief. "I'm not going anywhere."
"You're being a fucking kid and you're pissing me off," he snaps, immediately glancing back up at me.
"So are you, and you're older than me," I reply stubbornly. "I figured out what I want."
"What?" he asks blankly.
"I won the last bet, so I figured out what I want."
"What do you want?" he says drolly, rolling his eyes.
"You have to be honest with me."
"Honest?" he repeats in obvious frustration as he reefs his hand rigidly back through his hair. "I have been honest with you. What part of I like you don't you understand?"
"You like me...?" I continue to question, unconvinced.
"Of course, I like you," he repeats, beginning to glare at me, "have I ever given you the impression I don't?"
"How do you like me!?" I suddenly yell, losing patience with him and my inability to understand him, when without warning, his bedroom door suddenly bursts open.
"Will you two just fuck each other and get it over with—Jesus!" Alice bursts. "I'm trying to study, here!"
"Alice..." I begin when she immediately cuts me off.
"Bella, in the space of a week you've offered to have sex with him twice—and you." She turns her attention to Edward. "You've loved her since the beginning of time."
"Get real," Edward says with a scoff, dropping his head to run his palm along the back of his neck again, but this time his face is completely clouding.
"Really?" I ask him, but I'm not sure of anything anymore.
He turns his head to set his eyes on me; they narrow. "You still can't even tell me why you want to have sex with me," he accuses me.
"Because she loves you, too, but you've thrown her upside down with all your snotface bullshit. Jesus, Edward, most guys grew out of that by the time they got their first pubes."
"Shut the fuck up, Alice!" he threatens her, for the first time looking genuinely angry.
"Who's going to admit it first? Hm?" she continues, completely ignoring him. "Bella?" Her brows raise.
"I...I..." I stammer, gazing from her to Edward as I shake my head.
"She can't handle this pretending bullshit, that's obvious enough. She throws a fit after five minutes around me," Edward starts to rant.
"Because you give her shit, you idiot, and she's not ten anymore," Alice speaks up in my defence.
"I'm not serious," he counters.
"She thinks you're the best-looking guy on the planet," Alice informs him as my heart stalls.
Edward, of course, only breaks into an immediate smirk.
"Alice!" I protest, elbowing him from a purely pre-emptive stance. "I never said that!"
"Please," she scoffs, "I said Jas was the best-looking guy in the world, and you immediately turned around and said Edward was."
"I am," the shithead pipes up, attempting to wrap his arm around my shoulders.
I shrug him off.
"Maybe before you broke your nose fighting, pretty boy!" Alice retorts with a snort.
"I got it fixed."
"I have to go home," I say with a heavy sigh, but it's Alice this time who stops me.
"The two of you kissed for ten minutes straight in the cinema Friday night, and then Saturday—"
"You saw us?" I break in, mortified.
"Me and Jas were right behind you—anyway, my point is, you kissed like that, had one fight and then all of a sudden you're making a bet to have sex. And then Saturday morning I walk in on the two of you half naked and front spooning!"
"Habit," Edward retorts, but his indifference is very obviously feigned.
"Habit my ass. I never saw you holding Lauren like that."
"So you shouldn't have!" he replies.
"I gotta go." I attempt a second time to leave, but I don't take a single step. I can't.
"He lost the bet and the next day you give him a second chance," Alice turns her tirade square on me. "Jesus, Bella, just admit you want to have sex with him."
"Of course she does," Edward says smugly.
"So do you!" Is my feeble defence.
"I'm not disputing it!"
"Asshole!"
"The sexual tension in here is so thick it's bloody choking me!" Alice mutters, rolling her eyes.
"I'd be okay if he wasn't always tormenting me!" I speak up in defence of myself, but Alice isn't remotely convinced, and either is Edward.
"Bella, you're not nearly as angry as you make out half the time," she outs me.
"I knew it!" Edward says in some kind of triumph.
"Shut up, you idiot," Alice snaps at him. "You love her just as much, so the two of you, either get it out of your system or go argue somewhere else. You know I'm terrible at chemistry!" With that said, she leaves in the same whirlwind, slamming the door behind her as she does.
I move to follow her, but Edward tightens his grip on my hand, keeping me beside him.
"Fine, we'll go out for real until after the farewell!" I blurt, attempting to yank my hand free from him.
"Is that all?"
I turn to him; he raises his brows to further stress his point, but his grin is grating on my last nerve. "What else do you want?" I demand.
"Is Alice right?"
"You first."
"Nope."
"Yes—I won the bet."
"You told me I had to be honest, and I was. So, tell me, Bella."
"I—I'm not sure what I feel about you," I blurt in frustration. "I just know it's confusing me." I'm honest this time.
He ponders it for a moment and shrugs a shoulder. "Okay, so what do you want to do?"
"I don't know," I mumble, my eyes falling to his clothes-strewn floor.
"We can pretend or be real. It's up to you."
"What do you want to do?" I ask, my gaze remaining fixed on my feet.
"I can handle either without freaking out. You can't though—would you look at me!" He suddenly huffs; I do reluctantly.
"I said we'll be real," I say a little too abruptly.
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"Think about it."
"I don't need to."
"Bella..."
"What?" I complain, rubbing at my forehead in frustration.
"Are you sure?" He removes my hand from my face, his voice softening. And not only do I realise he's being serious, but sincere.
I nod slowly. "Just..."
"Just...?"
"Don't rush me."
His brow quirks. "How do you mean?"
"I mean, it's not a free pass to feel me up whenever you feel like."
He laughs, pushing it quickly through his nose as a half-assed attempt to smother it. "You just have to keep communication open with me. And no getting screechy."
"No snotface."
"Okay," he agrees easily. "Is the bet still on?"
"Yeah," I admit, chewing on my bottom lip. A fire is suddenly lit in my stomach and I'm beginning to feel queasy.
"What?" Edward asks, immediately picking up on it. The shithead is perceptive.
"Is it really going to be...real?"
"Yeah," he says simply.
"So... Alice's is right about us?" I ask as he shrugs a shoulder again.
"She's probably on the right track," he replies, smiling slightly to himself. "Maybe we should put it to a test."
"How do you mean?"
"Tomorrow when I get home, I'll take you out to dinner. On a real date."
I nod, and break into a small smile. "Okay."
"Okay?"
I only nod a second time as my eyes inevitably drop to his floor again. "So, after the farewell?"
"That depends."
"On what?" I glance up at him momentarily, before my eyes catch the busty blonde on his computer screen saver.
"On whether you want me to make you fall in love with me."
I scoff to myself and break into a conceding grin. "You're pretty confident."
"Why wouldn't I be?" His smile broadens with mine.
Releasing my breath in an exhausted gush, I shake my head. "Okay, I might go study with Alice."
"Righto. Come and get me before you go home."
"I will," I promise, unable to maintain eye contact with him as I turn and exit his room.
By the time I enter Alice's my hands are shaking and my stomach is a mass of knots.
"So, what did you decide," she asks with a knowing smirk, looking up from her text book.
"No more pretending. For a little while," I murmur, processing it myself as I do. I'm nervous as hell but there's something else. I think it's anticipation, but it could be nausea.
"For a little while?" she echoes, her brow raising sceptically.
"Until after the farewell." I drop down to her bed and pull my books from my bag.
"What's that mean?" she asks, sounding more irritated than she does confused.
"One day at a time, I think." Because I'm not entirely sure what it means, myself.
"Is it so hard to just tell him you want to fuck his brains out?" she puts to me.
"Um, yes, actually."
"Whose idea was it?" She sighs.
"His."
"I knew it," she tells herself, focusing her attention back to her open book. "You happy?"
"I think so," I answer in a small voice, opening my own book and placing it in my lap.
"You think so?" she repeats, glancing up at me with her eyebrows drawing.
"It'll be easier than pretending. At least now I'll know where the boundaries are."
She sighs with complete over exaggeration. "That is not why two people decide to go out."
"Alice..." I complain but let it go, I still have no idea what I'm thinking, let alone doing. "Let's just study."
"Want my advice?" she asks after a several moments of silence.
"No," I say, smiling to myself.
"Why not?" she bursts affronted.
"Because your advice is always wrong."
"How so?"
"Vow of silence?" I remind her.
She snorts. "Okay, once."
"You said he would never admit to having feelings for me, and he did. Pretty easily."
She places her pen down and gazes at me for a moment, her entire expression flooding with doubt. "He told you he likes you?"
"Yeah."
"He said 'I like you Bella, let's go out for real'?" she presses me.
"Well...not in those exact words."
"Explain to me how it came up."
"He...he suggested we should just stop pretending."
"Why?"
"So we can both relax."
"So, you asked him whether he likes you, right?"
"Yeah."
"And he said...?"
"He said he did."
"Did he expand on it?"
"...How do you mean?" I ask, my frayed emotions succumbing to confusion.
"Did you ask him whether he likes you as a friend, or more than a friend?"
"Yeah..." I say, sighing in defeat to myself, because I realise now what Alice is getting at.
"What did he say?"
"He didn't answer," I reluctantly reply.
She clears her throat deliberately, stressing her point and in response I drop my head to my palm and groan.
"So, he's playing me?" I demand, my voice rising. "That shithead!"
"Of course he's not playing you. He's just being very careful."
"Why? Why can't he say it?"
"Have you admitted it?" she subtly points out, as I huff shortly and in complete exasperation.
"I... I don't know what I feel, exactly."
"Sure, Bella..." she deadpans with an eye roll.
"I'm not lying."
"You're in denial."
"Even if I did—why does it have to be me!?" I snap a little too loudly.
"You've always had to read between the lines with Edward. That's just the way he is. You know that," she says, shrugging her shoulders offhandedly, but she's right; I do.
"But still!" I snap. I'm suddenly irritated, and lunging from the bed I head for the door when Alice grabs hold of my hand.
"What are you doing?" she declares as if she thinks I've gone mad.
"I'm going to tell him to stop being such a bloody coward!"
Releasing a short, brash-sounding breath she half shakes her head. "So, you honestly think forcing him to confront his pride will make him open up to you? You'll piss him off and make him close further up, and nothing else."
I fume to myself for a moment, but realising she's right, I relent and allow her to pull me back to the bed. "I have no idea what I'm doing with him," I admit wearily, more or less to myself.
"You know him more than anyone, Bella—more than me," she says tactfully. "You just have to learn to read his cues better, that's all."
"Read his cues..." I echo, mulling it over. "Why does he have to be so...so stubborn?" I burst, impatient with myself as well as him.
She scoffs in blatant disbelief. "You both are. You can't get angry at him for not being completely honest with you when you're not being honest with him."
"I have been honest. I have no idea how I feel!" I insist, frustrated that she's making me constantly repeat myself.
And like her brother, she only quirks a completely dismissive brow at me. "Would you go home and study? You're throwing me off," she teases me after a moment.
"Fine!" I say begrudgingly, grabbing my books and throwing my bag over my shoulder. "See you in the morning."
"Bye," she says simply, smiling subtly to herself.
I run into Edward in the hall, in the opposite direction of his room.
"Where are you going?"
"Home?" I reply without looking at him.
"What are you bitching about now?"
"Nothing!" I grumble.
"Jesus," he mutters. "I thought we were meant to be relaxing now?"
I shake my head, but allow my thoughts to calm. "Alice..." I say by way of explanation.
"She giving you shit?"
"Not exactly," I reply, because all she'd been was a voice of reason in my turbulent mind.
"So... you were going to leave without saying goodbye?" he puts to me, raising his eyebrows.
"No... I mean, I wasn't really thinking."
"Come on," he says with a sigh, wrapping his arm around me and leading me toward the front entrance.
He stands before me for a few moments, his hands pushed into the pockets of his shorts as a smile begins to twitch at his lips.
"What?" I ask, feeling my cheeks flame self-consciously.
"You. You've gone all shy, and..." he doesn't elaborate but it isn't hard to guess what.
"And virgin?"
"I never said that."
I roll my eyes, but I'm glad for his banter. It's constant and comfortable; not that I'd ever tell him that.
"Edward?" I ask the tiles of his porch.
"Yeah."
"Do you like me as more than a friend?"
He immediately groans. "This again..."
"You never answered," I point out, looking up at him briefly.
"Either did you," he counters.
"I'm not sure..." I don't finish because I'm not even sure about what I'm not sure about anymore.
"You think I am?"
"Yeah...I know..." I give it up. If Alice is right then he's not going to admit it to me easily.
"So, what's the problem?" He reaches out and tucks a stray strand of my hair off my face where the breeze carried it.
"Nothing."
"Nothing," he echoes to himself.
"Don't tease me."
"You think I'm messing with you?" His voice drops, lowly.
"No, that's not it."
"Then what is it?"
"I... I just don't like feeling like I'm in limbo," I say a little too passionately as Edward's brow knots in obvious confusion. Or maybe exasperation.
"I thought this way we wouldn't be in limbo."
"Alice is right about me," I blurt out without really realising it.
"Yeah?" That smirk of his lights up on his face again as I nudge him.
"Not about that."
"Then about what?"
"I can't have casual sex," I answer, my eyes dropping to the ground again while inside I want to shrivel up and die.
"Who says we'd have casual sex? —geez would you look at me?" Sliding his fingers under my chin, he guides my eyes back to his.
"I just mean...I have to be...comfortable."
He sighs pointedly and groans lowly to himself. "For the next week we're no longer pretending. I thought we'd already established that."
I gaze at him for a pause before expelling my breath. "Never mind."
"What's going on?" he asks curiously. "You changed your mind?"
"No."
"Just overthinking shit again?" he says lightly, and in response I break into a reluctant smile.
"Yeah."
"Geez, you're a pain in the neck." Removing his hands from his pockets he wraps his arms around me and pulls me flush against him.
I close my eyes for a moment and take in that spicy scent of him. "You want me to tell you first, don't you?" I mumble against his shirt.
"Tell me what first?"
"That I like you."
"Do you like me?"
"You already know I do."
"Yeah," he says simply as his breath shoots from his nose, "I do."
"I'm just..." I begin but once more abandon it.
"You just...what?"
"If it's just a week, what's the point? We're better off pretending."
He pauses for a moment, then releases the air from his lungs as if I'm exhausting him. "Just relax for this week, okay?" He leans his chin to the top of my head. "You think too much."
"It's real though, right?" I ask, pulling back to meet his gaze.
"Of course it's real."
"Okay," I mumble, as my thoughts continue to stray until I'm more confused than anything.
"We'll just see how this week goes. I have no way of knowing how you're going to react to me, yet," he says in explantion, releasing his arms from around me.
"I'll be fine," I insist stubbornly.
"I'll believe it when I see it."
I huff, frustrated with him again. "You were right, okay? Pretending made me screechy. It's better this way, so stop teasing me!"
He smiles, fighting the obvious urge to laugh, but doesn't say anything.
"Okay, I'd better get going. I still haven't finished studying."
"Okay," he says simply, shoving his hands back in his pockets.
I hesitate, glancing up at him, convinced he's playing mind games with me.
"See ya," I say, deciding it's best not to analyse anything further. Then turning my back on him, I move to take a step, but again, he reaches out and grabs my arm; pulling me back to him.
"Where are you going?" he puts to me with a small grin.
Relenting, I break into a smile along with him, and stretching up on my toes I plant my lips to his.
He doesn't release me as quickly, this time. He kisses me back the same way he did in the cinema, only he's not as hesitant and careful with me. I realise he's being conscious to prevent his tongue from colliding with mine, but he's suddenly responding to me in a way that's beginning to alarm me. It alarms me because I'm already losing my head. Edward is the sort of person I have to stay level-headed around or I'll completely lose sight of myself.
A/N: Oy vey, these two. Talk about round and round the mulberry bush. Anywho, you know the drill...