Music played as the Aftermath sign was shown.
...
"Wait!" Ella cut in. "I wish to make an announcement! I forfeit the competition!" The girls gasped in shocked as she walked over to Lucas and put on the parachute.
...
Helga noticed Trent and Gwen on her and pushed them away. "I have boyfriend!" she spat out.
...
"I...kinda...," Helga stuttered to Topher, "I have...kinda...boyfriend! Kinda.
...
The Aftermath logo was shown again, and the scene changed to the Aftermath studio where Mike, an uncomfortable Rodney, and a middle-aged woman with blond hair and a red dress were sitting on the middle couch. "Uh, ready for a dramatic Aftermath, guys?" Rodney nervously introduced. "I'm Rodney."
"Mike here," Mike announced with a little wave.
"And I'm Blainley Stacy Andrews O'Halloran," the blond woman finished. "I'm sure you recognize me from such entertaining programs as Celebrity Manhunt."
"But today," Rodney continued, "We're here to talk about Total Drama World Tour!" The audience let out a cheer. "We've got the juiciest dirt and the dirtiest juice," Blainley added. "Everything you wanted to hear dished about season three."
"Plus special guests and cool surprises," Mike announced, "But first, let's introduce our friends...and others."
"You mean the other sad bystanders who can't even play this season?"
"Easy," Rodney warned as he kept Blainley and Mike apart. "Please welcome the Total Drama Peanut Gallery!" He motioned to everyone in the Peanut Gallery. "Eva, Shawn and Jasmine, Dawn, Scott, Geoff and Bridgette, Leshawna, Brick, Lightning, Harold, Sadie and Katie, Cameron, Staci, Sugar, Alejandro, Heather, Destiny, Cody, Amy, Lindsay, B, Justin, Anne-Maria, Zoey, Tyler, Izzy, Owen, Noah and Beth! And an intro for the guys that made this possible, Kitty, Emma, Sarah, and back in action, Carly and Dean!" The audience gave another cheer. "Are we doing good, guys?" Rodney whispered to Geoff and Bridgette.
"Totally, dude," Geoff assured him.
"In case you're wondering," Bridgette clarified, "Geoff and I were offered to host season three's Aftermath, but we both turned it down. After Geoff's little 'Captain Hollywood' incident, I didn't want any more drama. You're not too upset, are you?"
"Nah, Bridge. I'll admit I let fame get to my head. But hey, I get to hang with you guys and my gal. Yeah!"
"So," Blainley cut in, "How does everybody feel about the fact that it's Brick's fault you're all out of the game?"
"I tried to organize us into a rescue party," Brick argued.
"And now your rescue party has to sit and watch everyone else play for five million."
"I threw a great consolation party," Geoff put in, "With a pinata."
"That was Helen's guitar!" Destiny angrily told him. "You're lucky it didn't break, or she would've had your butt!"
"Being on that show's way too tough on the bod," Justin said.
"Who needs money when you look like a billion bucks?" Anne-Maria agreed.
"And I don't need five million dollars," Eva added, "Got it?!"
"But what about the free trip around the world?" Blainley asked.
"With Chris and Chef torturing us?" Beth pointed out. "No thank you."
"Being in the Yukon without a pretty coat on?" Lindsay added. "No million is worth that!"
"But what about watching all your old friends hang out without you?" Blainley wondered.
"We have each other," Sadie assured her. Katie brought Tyler into a tight hug. "Guess they're just being honest," Blainley shrugged as she turned to Rodney. "But what about you? Any regrets?"
"Mike and I would rather host this Aftermath than suffer more drama," Rodney scoffed.
"I can agree with that," Mike added.
"Care to prove it with a game of Truth or Hammer?" Blainley wagered.
"Sure," Rodney shrugged. "Why not? Couldn't be happier." A hammer swung down, barely missing him. "Nice moves, Rodney," Blainley told him, "Almost nicer than the moves Topher made on Helga."
"Happy, happy, HAPPY!" Rodney shouted. An anvil and safe fell down, nearly hitting him. He ducked behind the couch just before a piano fell down. "Look at the time," he quickly brushed off. "Game over. Let's move on to our first segment."
"Before any more junk falls down," Mike noted as he looked up in the rafters. "We'll be spending a bit of time with everyone who left the show since the season began."
"Everyone we could find, at least," Blainley added, "Because two ex-contestants have gone AWOL, which leads us to our new segment as designed by moi." The screen showed Duncan and Max running until a cage was lowered onto them. "Total...Drama...Fugitives!" Rodney announced. The screen showed Duncan quitting in Egypt. "After refusing to sing," Mike recalled, "Duncan was one of the very few contestants in Total Drama history to quit."
"At least the idiot wasn't conned out of the money like I was!" Amy declared.
"Ignore that."
"But what's weird is...Duncan didn't come home," Blainley announced.
"He was last seen hanging from a large fruited bush willow in Africa. But since then, nothing."
"It's like Duncan just...disappeared," Rodney commented.
"So we spread the word and our viewers responded like never before, with some seriously incredible photos and sightings!" Blainley announced.
"Let's have some video captured by...Hamish McTavish of Loch Ness." A blurry photo of Duncan's mohawk sticking out of the water. "Real sighting or fake?" Blainley inquired.
"It's-" Rodney began. Blainley pinched his mouth shut before he could finish. "We've sent a roving reporter to interview our eyewitness," she informed the audience. "Roll it!" The screen changed to Eva holding a microphone and interviewing a Scottish man. "So," she demanded, "You gotta tell me what you saw." The Scottish man spoke a heavy accent, to Eva's irritation. "What are you saying?!" she shouted. "Aw, forget this!" She slammed the mic on the ground, which hit the man in the groin, before walking off. "The sighting was clearly a fake," Rodney said, with Mike nodding in agreement.
"Fine," Blainley scoffed, "Don't believe."
"Sky would probably spout some facts about Loch Ness's monster," Jasmine put in.
"Where is Batzilla and her Igor boyfriend?" Shawn wondered.
"Leonard, Zeke and Sierra's absent, as well," Staci added.
"We'll get to that after finishing this segment, guys," Carly told them. "Anyway, just days later, we had another sighting from Trollhatte, Sweden." The screen showed a silhouette of Duncan running. He fell down a cliff and cursed out some words, which had to be bleeped out. "What about that one?" Blainley asked. "Real? Fake?"
"Tough to tell," Geoff commented. "There wasn't a single non-swear in there that could be played."
"But it bleeped like Duncan," Blainley argued. "Who can fake that level of profanity?"
"I can think of a few people," Dean put in.
"Zip it, Four-Eyes," Heather told him, "We didn't ask you!"
"She's just trying to get under your skin, Dean," Carly assured as Dean nervously rubbed the lime-green necklace on him. "You look fine." Dean perked up a little. "But the question remains," Rodney continued, "Where is Duncan now?"
"Nobody can find him," Blainley added, "Not even everyone's fave host Chris McLean."
"Chris is looking for Duncan?" Beth asked.
"Chris has the entire Total Drama Machine looking for Duncan." Over in a neighborhood, a huge robot was walking the streets. "Duncan...Duncan..." it chanted. It tore off the roof of a young girl's house, making the girl scream with fright. "So keep those Duncan sightings coming," Blainley announced. "He can't hide from us forever."
"Something tells me it's gonna be a while," Mike commented. "Also acting camera shy, everyone's favorite villain wannabe Max."
"Camera shy? So not cool, Max."
"You just said 'Max' and 'cool' in the same sentence," Anne-Maria said with a laugh.
"Hilarious," Justin agreed.
"Well, this is kinda cool," Rodney acknowledged. "And by 'cool', I mean creepy."
"That's right, Rodney," Blainley continued. "Because even after Max took the early Drop of Shame, our hidden cameras captured this footage." The screen showed Lucas resting in first class. He looked out the window and gasped when he saw a silhouette on the plane wing. Lightning crashed, showing it was Max. Lucas blinked, and Max suddenly vanished. He screamed and jumped out of his seat. He ended up crashing into an annoyed Echo, making him run off once he saw her glare.
The screen then changed to Chris relaxing in his hot tub. He got spooked when he noticed a silhouette of Max in the tub. He grabbed a baseball bat but went wide-eyed as the silhouette disappeared with an evil chuckle.
"What do you think?" Blainley asked the Peanut Gallery. "Real or fake?"
"Ghost!" Katie exclaimed, making Sadie scream.
"No, not a ghost," Mike told her. "You have to be dead to be a ghost, remember?"
"So, the Manhunt was great, boys," Blainley commented, "But you know who I'm really excited to spend time with?"
"Today's Aftermath guest," Rodney announced, "Ella!"
"You're half-right. I'm talkig about our other guest."
"We-we-we have another guest?"
"Yes. You know that girl. Snowboarder, Russian, loves polar bears, blonde."
"Hmm...who was that again?"
"Helga, your girlfriend!" Beth told Rodney. "The one who made out on TV with Topher and then kissed a pole! Remember?"
"That's right," Blainley announced. "Please welcome our polar powerhouse, whose unfortunate habit of kissing really cute-"
"Ella, everybody!" Rodney interrupted. "Come on out, Ella!"
"I'm not a guest, Ella," a male voice spoke out.
"Come on," Ella assured him from behind the curtain. "It'll be fun!" Ella, now wearing a pink kimono and pink cherry blossoms in her hair, walked onto the stage with Shane. "BOO!" Sugar shouted. "Quit hogging the spotlight, Dressy!"
"Can someone escort Sugar out of here?" Mike asked the Peanut Gallery.
"Dude, no man in their right mind would be alone with her," Noah commented.
"We ain't gonna watch this circus wreck," Austin told the others as he tried to drag Sugar off. "Come on, Honey Pot. We're gonna be the better man and leave!" The duo left the studio. "Like I said," Noah repeated, "No one in their right mind."
"Welcome, Ella-Who-Is-Our-First-Guest," Rodney announced. "Please, sit. It's time for your journey video."
"Fine," Blainley sighed, "I can wait."
"But delaying you-know-who isn't helping you," Mike told Rodney.
"Aren't you going to invite Shane over?" Ella asked as she sat down on the middle couch.
"Who?" Ella motioned to Shane, who gave a meek wave from the other side of the stage. "Of course," Rodney replied before Mike could speak. "The more the merrier!"
"Oh, brother," Mike muttered as Shane sat next to Ella.
"Let's take a look at the dramatic events that brought Ella to this moment," Blainley announced. The screen changed to Ella's few moments on World Tour. "Wow," she gushed as she looked at the plane. The scren changed to her voting in the confessional. "One for you," she said as she stamped EVERY passport, "And one for you..." The screen changed to her falling from a tree until Shane caught her. "It's over?" Ella wondered as the screen turned off.
"Ella was on for two seasons," Shane voiced out, "And she gets a nanosecond."
"Yeah, I know," Rodney told Ella. "Sorry you got the boot."
"But I eliminated myself to save Phoebe," Ella explained, "And if it weren't for that, I wouldn't have found my prince in Shane."
"Dude, I hope you know what you're getting yourself into with her," Mike warned Shane.
"And this is coming from Ella's former love interest who got her uncernimoniously disqualified," Blainley commented, making Mike's cheeks turn pink with embarrassment.
"But the two resolved that a long time ago," Zoey commented. "Don't open a can of worms over this."
"Blech!" Destiny gagged. "Eating worms! Yuck-o!"
"Fortunately, our relationship hasn't had any bumps in it," Shane assured Mike. "At least it's better than my last attempt at love."
"Um, last attempt?" Sarah asked. "So Ella isn't your first relationship?"
"I'd rather not discuss it now."
"That's okay," Dawn assured Shane, "The details will be revealed in due time."
"This is supposed to be Ella's interview, not mine! Any other clips of her?"
"I think we have a few," Mike recalled. "Guys?"
"Yep," Kitty giggled as she pressed a button. The screen showed Ella's singing moments. "I hope to make it to the end," she sang as she skipped along the Dock of Shame, "Along with making a lot of friends!"
"The food that was brought brought joy to the-" Ella began as the Gophers sat at a picnic but Heather silenced her by putting a pepper into her mouth.
"Smiles can help with trials and tribulations!" Ella sang before she and Lightning were hit by balloons.
"Me and my friend bear," Ella sang, calming Scuba Bear down, "BFFs beyond compare. Dancing and swinging without a care!"
"I'll do my best not to die!" Ella sang as she was loaded into the Cannon of Shame. "Cause now I have to say good-BYE!" The screen turned off. "Looks like people didn't like your singing and sunny disposition," Blainley commented.
"Most people don't have the patience to handle Ella," Mike defended, "Me included."
"Well, like it or not, it's time for Ella and her beau to sing!"
"You're gonna do that to them now?" Justin wondered.
"A reunion of your band, the Drama Brothers, as backup on the Aftermath? Great idea, Justin!"
"Wha-?"
"I know you're a huge fan," Geoff pointed out to Blainley, "But this might be over the-"
"It's okay," Ella assured them. "I don't mind. What about you, Shane?"
"I did think the singing part of World Tour was pretty fun," Shane thouht. "Why not?"
"But what about Trent?" Cody voiced out. "He's part of the band."
"Already covered," Blainley told them. Beardo played a few notes on a guitar. "Destiny gave me a few pointers," he explained. "I've gotten pretty good, I think."
"I think I might like this," Rodney said. "Hit it!"
"You might think you know it all," Ella began, "And that we're heading for a fall."
"But we're just that guy and girl," Shane sang, "Trying to bring a little joy to the world." Some soft guitar stums started to play. "We've made our mistakes," Shane sang as he and Ella got up, "But still, we didn't break."
"We'll always have Japan," Ella added as the duo held hands, "That's where our journey began. But still, I have to know..." The music picked up the pace. "How'd you get so hot?" Ella asked as the duo danced.
"Baby!" Justin, Cody and Beardo sang as they played their instruments.
"Bitter is what you're not," Shane vocalized.
"Baby!"
"When you're around, my legs are like butter," Ella sang, "You always make my heart flutter." Katie, Sadie, Anne-Maria and Leshawna started to dance to the song. "How'd you always make my bones quake?" Shane sang. "You're sweeter than a strawberry shake!"
"You even make me forget my name," the duo sang as they danced, "Cause when you walk in the room, nobody looks the same!"
"Baby!" Beardo vocalized.
"Baby!" Justin and Cody chorused.
"Baby!" Harold added. He started to beat-box. Sadie, Katie, Anne-Maria and Leshawna cheered for them. They started to fight over them, with Leshawna tackling Anne-Maria to the ground. "Uh, you think we might need to get more security out here?" Rodney asked. He got a surprised look as Blainley gave a scream. "Marry me, Justin!" she squealed before fainting, landing right on top of Mike.
"You're greater than a pirate's plunder," Shane sang. "If that's so wrong, put me six feet under."
"We managed to find someone new," Ella added, "And we're made for each other; that is true." The duo danced until Shane lost his footing and tripped, bringing Ella down with him. However, the two of them just laughed it off as they stared in each other's eyes. "Can we regain control of this seriously kooky situation?" Rodney narrated. "Stay tuned and see if we'll even be back with more Total Drama: The Aftermath!"
(cue commercial)
"Hi, everyone," Blainley announced with an ice pack on her head, "And welcome back to the Total Drama Aftermath."
"As in the aftermath of Blainley losing her mind over a boy band and crashing onto me," Mike put in as he held an ice pack on his head.
"I was displaying enthusiasm. It's part of my job. As we've just proved, Total Drama is the most dramatic show in the history of drama!"
"And Blainley just proved she's not as cool as she thinks she is," Rodney commented.
"In entertainment news, the Drama Brothers just caused a minor riot here."
"They were last seen on foot, running for their lives, pursued by...huh? A yellow school bus?"
"Let's go to the scene and see what we can find out. Eva, can you tell us what we saw?" Eva was standing outside while a janitor mopped the floor. "Like, a whole bunch of dumb girls chasing Harold, Justin and Cody," she reported.
"And what did these girls look like?" Blainley asked.
"Dumb, like a bunch of dumb girls in dumb plaid skirts, like kilts."
"Kilts...a school bus...could be a private girls' school!" Eva groaned with frustration. "Eva, what color were the kilts?" Blainley asked.
"Plaid and dumb," Eva replied. "Ah, forget this!" She slammed the microphone down, which hit the janitor in the groin, before storming off. Blainley just sighed at the sight. "Time to welcome our next guest," she announced, "A Siberian snowboarder who-"
"Wait, wait, wait," Rodney cut in. "We have another group of reporters to check in with."
"That's correct," Carly said. "Right now, Sierra, Nikki and Helen are touring the globe and asking locals what they think of the competition so far. Let's check in with them now!" The screen changed to Sierra and Nikki inside a run-down prison. "Hi, guys!" Sierra giggled. "It's so exciting to be reportig on behalf of Total Drama!"
"We're here at San Francisco's Alcatraz Prison," Nikki said. "And here we have one of the guards, Hank." A man with a warden uniform and a burly mustache came up. "So Hank, what's your favorite part of the show so far?" Nikki asked him.
"Well, I really like the rivalry between Sol and that intern Lucas," Hank answered. "I do hope the two can make up, though."
"I feel that. And any guesses on who might win?"
"Greg and Sam, honestly. They both deserve to win."
"Well, that's that. Helen, anything you want to-? Helen? Hel-Hel?"
"Up here!" Helen shouted. Sierra and Nikki turned to see Helen locked in a prison cell. "I went exploring and got a bit trapped," Helen meekly admitted. "Anybody got the keys?" She saw the keys being carried off by a mouse, squeaking in a taunting manner. "Or a hacksaw?"
"We'll be back in a new location," Sierra announced as Nikki raced after the mouse. "Hopefully in a place without prison bars." She winced as she heard a loud CRASH and saw the mouse scurrying away with the keys. "STUPID RAT!" Nikki shouted. The screen turned off. "Man, that's the most fun I've seen in a long time!" Scott laughed.
"I seriously question your upbringings," Emma told him. "And I thought Zeke's was pretty bad."
"Where is the kid, anyway?"
"I'd better get rid of that elephant in the room," Mike sighed. "Anybody that arrived late at the Gemmies wouldn't have known. Zeke got this fascination with monsters and thought becoming one would make him 'cool'. So he asked Leonard to use his magic to change him into one. But Leonard refused to do so."
"Can't blame him," Heather muttered, "He's already a weirdo."
"Butt out, Heather! Anyway, Leonard and Zeke fought over Leonard's staff until Zeke was hit with a blast of energy. And well, Zeke got his wish and turned into this Golum creature."
"Poor Ezekiel," Shane commented as he shook his head. "All he did was say the wrong thing at the wrong time. He shouldn't suffer that."
"And Leonard felt really guilty because he thinks he's responsible for it," Mike added. "He asked Sky and Dave's help in changing Zeke back, hence their absense."
"With that cleared up," Blainley announced, "It's time to introduce-"
"Our favorite Atermath segment, That's Gonna Leave A Mark!"
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is."
"No, it's not!"
"Yes, it is!" Mike kept Blainley and Rodney seperated. "Roll it!" he shouted.
That's Gonna Leave A Mark Segment
The first clip showed Sol driving the boat in New York City when he noticed a pipe over his head. He managed to duck down in time but got hit in the head with another pipe.
...
The second clip showed Phoebe entering the bathroom when a panda jumped out and started to pound her with the stamp.
...
The last clip showed Lucas stumbling on an ice floe, with a polar bear and its cub watching on. The polar bear covered the cub's eyes.
End Segment
Rodney was giggling at the clips. "Remember earlier when you asked if we wish we were back in the game?" he asked Blainley.
"I'm getting a headache here," Blainley said with annoyance.
"Watching that makes it all worthwhile. I'd rather be here, chillin' like a villain, and do some chatting."
"Oh, really? Chatting? Well then, we should definitely introduce our next guest."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down! We're not, uh, done with the That's Gonna Leave A Mark segment. I had one left over."
"There's only room for so many clips in each segment, dude," Sarah told him.
"Now you're grasping at strings," Mike muttered as he shook his head.
"This one is so special," Rodney defended, "It gets its own segment. I call it 'Rodney's Favorite Act of Violence of the Week in Random Violence'. Interested?" The audience gave a cheer. "Could you-?" Mike whispered to Cameron.
"Staci and Zoey are on it," Cameron quietly replied.
"Bring it up, guys," Rodney said as the screen changed to when the cast was in Egypt. It showed a camel and Chef sneaking up from behind with a ladle and pot. "HEY!" Luna shouted as she clutched a stuffed alligator. "You don't make flalaffles out of camels!" Chef growled at her. Luna did a flying kick, which was blocked by Chef's pot. She shook the sand off of her. "Egyptian style!" she shouted. She swung her stuffed alligator at Chef, who blocked it with his pan. "Come on, girl!" Chef told her. Luna managed to hit him in the face, knocking him away. The camel then sat on Chef's face. "I was just giving her some oats!" Chef shouted as Luna tickled his feet with a feather.
"Man, that is just too funny!" Rodney laughed. "You hear that CRUNCH noise? Chef's bones can't take too much more of the crazy!"
"Moving on!" Blainley cut in. "She kissed up. Here's Helga!" Rodney gave a gasp while the audience cheered. However, no one came out. "Put the backstage feed up on the screen," Blainley ordered, "And get my aget on the phone!" The screen switched to Zoey and Staci standing outside a door. "Come on, Helga," Zoey coaxed, "You can't lock yourself in the green room forever."
"So you kissed a frozen pole on TV," Staci added, "It wasn't too bad, yeah?"
"It's not just that," Helga replied from the other side of the door. "It's this stupid Aftermath show."
"Come out and we'll talk about it," Zoey told her. Helga came out, though she had a paper bag over her head. "Seeing interviews like Germ Boy's was bad enough," she muffled, "But being interviewed is much worse! I am not going!"
"It couldn't be all bad," Staci argued.
"Staci makes a valid point," Zoey agreed. "There has to be at least one thing you liked. Helga?" She removed the paper bag, showing Helga's eyes were a little red from crying. "Rodney," Helga sighed. "Even with broken spine and him being all gooey-eyed, I liked Rodney."
"When are you gonna get a better chance to tell him how you feel?" Zoey pointed out.
"Can't I just send him telegram?" The audience gushed at the sight. "Wasn't that just sweet, guys?" Kitty gushed as she nudged her sister.
"I stopped paying attention at 'Staci makes a valid point'," Scott commented.
"Aw," Blainley sighed. "Let's bring her out. It's Helga!" However, Staci came out instead. "I said Helga!" Blainley repeated.
"Helga would like to sing with Zoey's help," Staci told them.
"Oh, we'll make Helga sing, alright."
"HER way, not yours. It's the only way this shows gets done, yeah."
"I want her out here!"
"Why should-?" Rodney argued.
"Fine, deal!" Mike cut in. "Let's get this love roller coaster over and done with!" Helga sat on the end of a piao while a yeti played it and Zoey tuned a guitar. "I'm sorry," Helga began, "So sorry
"Sorry like a flower after the first frost
"And I'm sorry like a mitten that's been dropped and feels so lost." Zoey began to play her guitar. "Oops, so she messed up," she sang, "At least she fessed up."
"Fessed up?" Rodney scoffed. "She was caught on national TV!"
"International, Rodney," Cameron corrected. "Total Drama is seen all over the world."
"Butt out!" Mike told the boys as he pulled them off.
"But I'm sorry," Helga sang, "So sorry
"Sorry like a fish that begins to bob and float"And I'm sorry like a band when they play a wrong note." The yeti gave a sheepish grin after playing a wrong note on the piano. "Entitled, much?" Rodney muttered.
"Oops, so she screwed up," Zoey sang, "She felt some boy up."
"INTERNATIONAL TV! In front of all of our friends!"
"But I'm sorry," Helga sang, "So sorry
"Like the Arctic, you really are cool."
"The sight of you makes her drool," Zoey added, "Are if you give her one more chance, she'll do a happy, happy dance." Helga did a little dance. "She's a pretty good dancer," Mike told Rodney.
"Yeah," Rodney admitted, "She's-aw, no, no!"
"Hey, you're the one for me," Helga sang to him, "And I'm so incredibly, wildly, madly, crazily...oh, so completely, infinitely, beyond...sorry." The music came to an end. "Can someone pass the tissues?" Destiny asked as Kitty and Carly teared up.
"I guess you can sit here," Rodney grumbled.
"That's a great idea, Rodney," Blainley said as Mike gave her an irritated look. "Now let's play Helga's video montage, edited specially by me." The screen showed Helga's moments with Topher, from him catching her to their accidental kiss to Helga getting her tongue stuck on a pole. Rodney and Helga both had their faces covered after the screen switched off. "So," Blainley asked, "Is it finally time for Truth or Tractor Trailer?"
"We need to cool those two down a bit or it's going to get ugly real fast," Mike quietly told Zoey. "Yeesh. It's bad when I'm playing mediator."
"How to get them de-stressed enough to talk things out..." Zoey thought. "Um, Staci says brushing hair helps her relax."
"No, that won't work. What else?"
"Oh, I know! Hey, guys? You know what we haven't done yet?"
"Make out with a cute guy that rhymes with 'loafer'?" Blainley asked.
"No! I meant answering some viewer mail. Aren't those fun and relaxing?"
"I guess," Helga mumbled as she lowered her hands.
"That can be arranged," Blainley announced. "Let's go live to Wireton for your first interrogator, I mean, fan, awaits." The screen showed a boy with ginger hair and black glasses in his bedroom. "Hey-de-ho," he announced, "This is Willie from Wireton. I'm one of Helga's biggest fans."
"Oh, isn't that cute," Blainley blandly said.
"Yeah," Helga agreed in a calmer tone. "What do you want to know?"
"Like, I don't want to be too obvious," Willie admitted, "So I'm not asking about Russian food or wildlife in the tundra."
"I've got a bad feeling about this," Zoey admitted.
"What did you want to ask?" Helga wondered.
"There's just one thing I really, really, really wanted to know," Willie continued.
"Anything." Willie pulled out a pole. "Would you kiss this pole?" he asked.
"AHHH!" Helga screamed out with frustration. "I am not listening to this anymore! I try being nice about it, but you're all being stubborn like yaks!"
"Takes one to know one," Rodney grumbled.
"Why am I taking the heat?! That evil shrew kissed me! It's NOT...MY...FAULT!" Helga shoved Rodney away. "It's SO your fault!" Rodney argued as he pushed her back. "You betrayed my trust and kissed another man!"
"That was accident! He fell on me!"
"But you leaned in to kiss him again!" Mike and Zoey had to hold Helga back while Dean and Carly held Rodney back. "Calm down, both of you!" Carly sternly told them.
"Now this," Blainley announced as she stepped in, "This is a show. Finally, I am proud to intro our biggest, baddest, newest segment ever: Total Smackdown!"
"What?" Zoey, Mike, Carly and Dean wondered. Soon, Helga and Rodney were in a boxing ring. "Who's ready for the first sanctioned beatdown in Aftermath history?" Blainley announced as she held a small gong and hammer. "Pull up a chair and hit 'record' on your PVRs, cause it's time for our main event: the Rodney and Helga Total Smackdown!" She hit the gong, starting the fight. Helga and Rodney started wrestling each other, getting into a dusty brawl. "You guys!" Zoey told them from outside the ring. "You can't be doing this!"
"I thought you two cared about each other," Mike put in. "So quit acting like, uh, well, me!"
"It's no point trying to talk to them," Dean sighed. "Rodney's unwilling to forgive, and Helga's too proud to admit she made a mistake."
"If only..." Carly thought. She gasped as she realized something. "Emma! Kitty! Sarah! Play the clip that showed Helga after she got the boot!"
"Hang on," Emma told her as she pressed something on a tablet. "There!" The screen showed the bonus clip from episode four. Helga and Rodney stopped their fight and looked at the screen. To everyone's surprise, Helga fell to her knees and started to cry. "How could I do something so stupid?!" she bitterly cried out. Rodney's expression turned from anger to sympathy. "I guess I was a little hard on you," he admitted. "It's just that the only way I could see you kissing him was if you did it yourself."
"I was tricked!" Helga sobbed. "But Helga not supposed to get tricked! And yet...ya byl durak."
"You're not a fool, Helga. No one thinks you are. People mess up and make mistakes. But faults and all, I still care for you." The duo stared at each other for a moment. They soon locked lips. "Thank goodness they resolved that," Zoey breathed out.
"I'd rather see them all gushy instead of all hostile," Mike added.
"Amen to that," Dean agreed as the two shared a fist-bump.
"Wh-what?" Blainley stuttered in surprise as she watched the scene. "She cheated on you on TV!" Helga and Rodney ignored her and continued to make out. "No, no, no, no, no," Blainley protested. "You-you can't do this! What's WRONG with you people?! Can't you be mad at each other?! It's Total Drama, Not Total Forgive And Forget!"
"You're so much better than silly pole," Helga muffled between kisses. In the green room, Staci was sitting with the pole and watching the scene from the TV. "That's too bad, yeah," Staci said. "Guess you and her weren't meant to be." She slid over to the pole. "So, what are you doing later? Maybe I could do up a wig for you."
Helga and Rodney were still making out, much to Blainley's displeasure. "I HATE THIS SHOW!" she yelled out as she threw a TV.
"Excuse me for sounding harsh," Zoey began, "But can somebody get this bully off the set?!" Lightning and Tyler tried to go get Blainley off the set. "Don't look at me!" she shouted as she tossed a chair. She punched Lightning in the face and kicked Tyler in the groin. The boys still managed to pull her off the set. "They better give me my old job back," she angrily grumbled. "I'm never doing this show again! Never ever! I'm out!" Helga and Rodney continued to make out. "I don't know why you would," Eva narrated, "But they want me to tell you to tune in next time, got it? There's gonna be more crazy action on Total...Drama...World Tour! Aw, forget this!" She kicked a glass ball away before storming off.
Episode six is here! So, quite a few things to go through. First, the hosts aren't gonna be Blainley, Bridgette and Geoff but rather Blainley, Rodney and Helga, with Mike, Zoey, Dean and Carly assisting. Next thing is the reporters' segment with the trio of Sierra, Helen and Nikki, which was one of my favorite moments to write.
I also decided to do my take on the 'Feral Ezekiel' plot of World Tour, but instead of Zeke going mad from staying on the plane, it was more of a tragic accident and Leonard feeling responsible for it. Might Zeke be back to normal soon?
Did you like Ella's interview and her new look? She also found her other half in the form of Shane, who also seems to have a little baggage on affairs of the heart. And finally, Helga's interview. She and Rodney did exchange a few blows before finally mending things, a little shake-up from the Bridgette/Geoff drama of canon.
Carly, Dean, Shane, Nikki and Helen are all OCs of LaCuevademisgustos.
The next episode will be the land of spicy sausages and savory slap-dancing. Until next time, this is Dunsparce519 saying enjoy and have a good day.