Music played as the Aftermath sign was shown.
...
Dakota and Sam tried to kiss, but Chris pushed Dakota out of the plane. "BYE, SAM!" she yelled out as she fell.
...
"Power?" Mateo asked. "The Inca placed that crown to put people to sleep before they were sacrificed. Why else was the flower called 'The Final Rest'?" Echo got a look of dumbfoundment. "A miracle you weren't cut yourself."
...
"And here I thought you were nice," Jo suddenly sobbed. "How could you say such a thing?!" She cried a bit into Chef's arms. "B-b-but-" Phoebe stammered.
(cue commercial)
The Aftermath logo was shown again, and the scene changed to the Aftermath studio. The peanut gallery was seated at tables with phones set up. Rodney wore a pink tuxedo while Geoff wore a black tuxedo. Helga wore a long, pale-pink dress decorated with white snowflakes, baby-blue wedges, a white shawl wrapped around her shoulders and a blue headband in her hair. Bridgette wore a blue dress and heels while Carly wore a honey-colored sleeveless top with a long skirt the same color and a pearl necklace and earrings. "Good evening!" Rodney announced. "I'm Rodney, and I'm here with my buddies Geoff, Bridgette and Carly and my steel snowflake Helga. Um, where are the others at?"
"Come on, Mike," Zoey; in a vintage red dress with the sleeves on the side, a black sash with red polka-dots around her waist, red flats and a blue flower in her hair instead of her usual pink one; told him from behind the curtain.
"I'm not going out there," Mike replied. "Especially in this stupid penguin suit!" Dean, wearing a red tuxedo but with his usual shirt underneath and a red bow tie, dragged him out. Mike wore a tuxedo similar to Geoff's, much to his displeasure. "Anyway," Zoey continued, "We're coming to you live because we need your help to raise money for a seriously worthy cause."
"Save the polar bears!" Helga declared.
"Uh, not today, iceberg," Rodney said. "But we'll keep it in mind."
"I know what you're thinking," Geoff continued. "Huh? Or-or maybe you're thinking, what? Either way, think back to the last episode, when the Total Drama plane crash-landed in Jamaica."
"Not a bad place to crash," Dean commented. "But it's still a tragedy, and one that could've been averted if only they'd had more gas. But our host, sadly, had blown the show's budget on decorating his personal quarters."
"Hey, I get why Chris couldn't resist the gold-lined hot tub. Unless we raise more dough for fuel, our friends could be stranded in Jamaica...forever!"
"Total Drama could be cancelled!" Bridgette exclaimed. "WE could be cancelled, too!"
"Which is why tonight," Carly announced, "We're bringing you 'Total Drama: The Telethon'!"
"Hence the flashy outfits for us," Mike grumbled.
"You look fine," Zoey assured him. "We all do! Carly and Dean did great on wardrobe."
"It was like playing with life-sized dolls," Carly giggled. "It was so much fun!"
"My mom always says a good man knows how to dress a woman," Dean added.
"Yeah," Austin commented, "But does he know how to undress one?" He was hit on the head with Destiny's guitar. "Tell me that did not come out that quick-shooting mouth of yours!" Leshawna complained as she, Anne-Maria and Destiny glared at him.
"Anyway," Zoey interrupted, "The phone lines are open. So please, for the love of Total Drama, call now and donate." The audience cheered. "Please welcome our first special guests," Rodney announced, "The Drama Brothers!" Justin, Cody, Harold and Beardo were over with their instruments. Katie, Sadie, Leshawna and Anne-Maria squealed with joy while Eva just rolled her eyes. "This show you need to save," Zoey began to sing as the Drama Brothers began to play, "This show you gotta tell."
"This show," Bridgette added as the screen showed the remaining contestants, "That you care."
"Jamaica, they're trapped down in," Geoff sang, "Jamaica, they can't even ja-party!"
"So unfair!" Rodney pitched in off-key. Helga pinched his mouth shut. "You've gotta help now," she sang, "We're on the brink."
"The crew gets fired if this ship sinks," Dean added.
"So make a difference in their lives," Zoey and Mike vocalized.
"Give us cash or this show dies!" Geoff and Bridgette sang together.
"Save...this show," Carly sang. "Total Drama."
"Save...this show," Geoff added. "You know you wanna."
"Save the show that you love!" Zoey and Mike vocalized.
"Save...this show," Helga sang. "Total Drama."
"Save...this show," Dean added, "So call the numbah!"
"Save the show with love..." Bridgette and Geoff chorused. "And five hundred thousand dollars!"
"Save the show, baby," Geoff finished, "Just give it some dough. Give it some love and some dough." The music ended as Blainley walked on the set. "That's right," she announced. "You need to give us five hundred thousand dollars in the next half hour. Hi, I'm Blainley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran, and I'm your co-host."
"I'm sorry," Zoey corrected, "But I thought you were the roving reporter." Blainley just glared at her. "I'm thrilled to be here tonight," she continued, "Co-hosting with the gang."
"I thought she was going back to her old job at Celebrity Manhunt," Bridgette whispered. Helga said something in Russian. "Uh, what was that?" Mike wondered.
"Rough translation," Rodney clarified, "'She try, but TV people say no.'"
"I'll keep you posted on the total as your calls and your cash pour in. This is the number. Call now. We have gifts!"
"For a donation of just twenty-five dollars," Bridgette said, "You'll get a commemorative box of delicious and nutritious Yummy Happy Go Time Fish Tales! Strictly decorative. Do not eat. May not be legal in all provinces. Keep out of reach of children." Mike tried to reach for a package but Zoey slapped his hand away. "OW!" he shouted.
"And for fifty dollars," Geoff added, "You'll get a special commemorative Total Drama T-shirt. Sure, it looks like a plain T, but when you get it wet..." Some water got splashed onto the shirt, shrinking it a little. "It's a wet T!"
"If you get a busy signal," Blainley continued, "Keep trying. You'll get through eventually." The only one on the phone was Destiny. "People really ship her with Scott?" she wondered. "You gotta give me the scoop on that, Olivia."
"If you loyal viewers don't start donating pronto," Rodney voiced out, "Everybody's gonna get canned! And for the guys in Jamaica, the nightmare truly begins."
"Our goal tonight is five hundred thousand dollars," Blainley announced, "And thanks to your donations, so far, we've raised a grand total of...five cents?!"
"I found it in this little jar," Ella spoke up as she lifted a jar up.
"Ella, that's me and Greggy's Alliteration Jar," Destiny moaned. "Oh, well. We can always start from scratch."
"Let's welcome our first guest and encourage her fans to call in," Zoey suggested.
"Good idea," Rodney agreed. "She had an unfortunate incident with toxic waste, but her boyfriend saw the true beauty within. It's Dakota AKA Dakotazoid!" Dakota walked on-stage, but she wore a flowing dark-blue dress with yellow stars on it and a headband with one white star on it. "Still know how to make an entrance, I see," Zoey complimented.
"Thanks," Dakota replied. "Sam recommended a style based off of this game called Super Mario Galaxy, and honestly, I'm digging it. I'll make star patterns in again! But enough about me. I'll tell you about the gifts I have for the people who donate tonight."
"You brought gifts?" Mike wondered. Helga wheeled a crate of lip gloss. "You mind if I-?" Dakota asked.
"Uh, sure," Dean shrugged. "Knock yourself out."
"For a donation of one hundred dollars, you'll receive one of the remaining two hundred lip glosses I brought for the season. Supplies are limited, so call now!" Most of the peanut gallery were answering the phones. "Wow, you're good!" Rodney told Dakota.
"Always ready to lend my film experience when it's needed," Dakota replied with a giggle.
"And your fans are sure to bring in the donations!" Zoey rallied.
"Yeah," Blainley pointed out, "Katie and Sadie are talking to each other, Beth's calling Brady, Destiny's talking with someone from the TD fandom, and Harold's checking on movie times..."
"Alien Bonsai 3 is playing around the corner," Harold spoke through the phone.
"Which means our new fundraising total is...two hundred and three dollars. And two hundred of that came from Harold's mom, in exchange for his promise to clean the garage."
"I'm very thorough."
"Extortion?" Geoff wondered. "Nice one, bro!"
"But we've got a long way to go," Dean announced. "Come on, people. I need this job."
"That's a first," Mike commented.
"Maybe Harold's onto something," Bridgette thought. "Would anybody like to see an episode of Total Drama Fugitives?" The audience cheered as an image of Duncan and Max as 'Wanted' posters were shown. "If you're interested," Bridgette continued, "Call now. We won't show you any more until we get ten thousand in donations." The phones rang as the peanut gallery answered them. "All you Max and Duncan fans, keep dialing!" Rodney rallied.
"They're still missing in action," Bridgette put in, "Or are they?"
"Ten thousand!" Blainley announced as she pointed to the tally. "Look! We just hit ten thousand!"
"First," Carly began, "The latest of Max, allegedly on the plane."
...
The scene showed a shadow of Max trying to catch a rat but tripping over his feet. "Come back, you imbicile!" he demanded. He noticed the camera on him. "The true EVIL still lurks here," he monologed as he pressed his face into it, "And I shall reign supreme over these amateurs! EVIl shall be victorious!" He gave an evil laugh but ended up choking on a bug. "Heimlich," he moaned as the rat crawled towards the camera. It just shook its head before putting a paw over the lens, cutting the feed short.
...
"How about our favorite angry punk?" Mike continued. "Loyal fans have sent in hundreds more Duncan sighting clips, so tonight, we'll show you the two best leads."
"If you're a Duncan fan and think these are real," Zoey added, "Cast your vote with a donation, no matter how small. Our first clip was sent in by a young viewer from Texas." The screen showed a man in a white jumpsuit, sunglasses and black hair was walking by with a handful of food when he bumped into someone. He dropped what he was holding and his black hair fell off, revealing a green mohawk. He quickly ran off. "Okay," Rodney commented, "That was SO Duncan!"
"Duncan in a jumpsuit?" Geoff wondered. "Nuh-uh. But my clip is for real! Check out Total Drama Fugitives Italian-Style!" The screen changed to two hooded men near the Leaning Tower of Pisa. One of the men, which resembled Duncan a little, tripped the other man, making him fall into the water. "That's gotta be Duncan!" Geoff laughed.
"Do the viewers agree, Blainley?" Bridgette asked.
"We've got hundreds of calls during the Fugitive segments," Blainley announced, "And their donations have added a whopping...hundred bucks to our grand total."
"Maybe our next segment will get viewers to donate," Zoey put in. "If you're a fan of seeing the sights of the world, or just a fan of Sierra, put in your donations as we show you another interview with Sierra, Helen and Nikki. Roll it, guys!" The screen changed to Helen and Sierra in front of a parade. "Hey, you guys!" Helen shouted over the jazzy music. "We're in the French Quarter of New Orleans, where the locals are in the middle of a festivity called a second line. Even Nikki's getting into it." Nikki was dancing in the parade and waving a black parasol around. "Looking great!" Helen told her.
"And our lucky interviewee happens to be a relative of one of our competitors," Sierra continued. "Miss Alicia Beauregard!" An older woman with a sparkling black dress and long gray hair held back by a floral headwrap stood next to Sierra. "Your thoughts, Miss Beauregard?"
"Hang on a moment, dearie," Alicia said. She walked off-camera. "You boys pull up your pants NOW!" she shouted in a thick Cajun accent, surprising Helen and Sierra. "Or do you want to show the whole dang nation you're a bunch of monkeys?!" She came back. "A crying shame this generation lacks common sense," she muttered. "They were gonna go right on some poison ivy...in a public area! Good thing I made sure my grandson has common sense in his noggin."
"I can tell where Sol gets it from," Helen commented. "I can tell you're rooting for him. Hey, what's this jamming festival for?"
"It's a celebration of life, sugar!" Alicia exclaimed as Croctopus waved its tentacles to the music.
"Wow. Anything else you guys celebrate?"
"A better question is what don't we celebrate here. And it looks like your friend and her pet's getting into the spirit."
"Pet?" Sierra and Helen wondered. They noticed Nikki screaming as she ran away from Croctopus. "Get away from her!" Helen shouted as she chased after them.
"Nikki hates squids and basically anything with tentacles," Sierra explained to Alicia.
"What did that croc ever do to that girl, huh?" Alicia wondered. A scratched-up Helen dragged a frightened Nikki back. "We'll be right back," Helen moaned, "But first, we might wanna update our vaccinations." She fell over, knocking the camera over. The camera showed Croctopus moaning as he opened his mouth, which was short of a few teeth. The screen turned off. "Nice reporting job, guys," Carly said. "And that brings our total to...ten thousand and four hundred dollars. Well, we're getting there."
"Maybe our next guest will bring in some cash," Zoey hoped.
"Doubtful," Helga scoffed, "But worth a try. She vomits after kissing someone and her biggest dream is meeting Cenobites...whatever that is."
"'Chaperoned' by our swash-buckling intern Anthony," Dean announced, "It's Echo!" Anthony dragged a bound Echo by a rope. He accidentally ran into a wall before stumbling towards the group. "Blasted depth perception," he grumbled as he put a hand over his eyepatch.
"Yeah," Mike commented as he and the others watch Anthony place Echo, now wearing a sleeveless black dress with blood-like decorations, on the couch and untie her, "This won't work."
"Don't be too sure," Shane assured him as he hung up one of the phones. "A loyal Echo fan offered to come visit in order to raise money."
"She has fans?" Rodney wondered.
"The Joker needs his Harley Quinns, you know," Echo pointed out with a smile. "And if there's any fans watching, do me a favor...DON'T CALL!"
"Echo!" Zoey gasped. "If we don't get donations, Total Drama will get cancelled and the cast will be stranded!"
"It'll serve Solstice and that sorry excuse of a villain right! I should be dominating that show right now!"
"Actually," Carly cut in, "I have another idea to raise money. Our intern Anthony is auctioning off a special prize. Every donation earns you a raffle ticket towards..."
"A trip on my ship," Anthony finished, "Where you can see the wonders of the ocean's sea life." A few phones ringed. "Maybe we need to sweeten the deal," Dean whispered to Carly.
"It's perfect already," Mike argued. "I love sea life."
"Don't even try what you're thinking, matey," Anthony protested as he saw Mike lick his lips. "They're not for eating!"
"Speaking of animals," Helga interrupted as she turned to Echo, "There are reports that Hero's curse went to you."
"Please," Echo scoffed. "No one can curse me."
"Care to put money where mouth is?" Helga snapped her fingers, and Dean wheeled in all the animals from Total Drama, including Fang and Scuba Bear. Scott ducked down while Tyler hugged Lindsay out of fear. "If you want to see Echo pet a vicious animal," Geoff said, "Call now!" The phones rang. "How'd you two know that would work?" Carly asked Geoff and Helga.
"I know what people like!" Geoff answered.
"I'm not touching any of these flea-ridden freaks," Echo protested. "You can't make me."
"That's the first I've seen you so cowardly, Clara," a voice spoke, making her go wide-eyed. Mike and Zoey gasped as Bryan, in a gray tuxedo and a white tie, walked onto the stage. "If it isn't the venomous actor," Echo sneered as she stood up and faced him. "Why show your face with Muttzilla on the prowl?" Zoey and Dean had to hold a furious Mike back. "I was busy attending an evening with my black rose Valerie," Bryan explained with a smug look, "But when we saw you here, I couldn't resist an appearance, Clara."
"Clara?" Bridgette and Carly wondered, puzzled.
"My name is Echo!" Echo declared. "Echo Cenobella!"
"According to your birth certificate," Bryan countered, "Your name is Clara Sinise. Well, was Clara Sinise until you changed it when you were twelve. And your stint in juvie..." He gave a chuckle. "A stroke of luck that the man you mugged was an undercover police officer, otherwise you would've never gotten caught!"
"And you're so innocent. How'd you get that Valerie chick, anyway? Slip enough almond extract in her beau's drink to mimic cyanide poisoning before you swept her away, just like that leading role in Hamelet?" Most of the peanut gallery gasped. "Should we stop them?" Zoey wondered.
"Why?" Mike put in. "It's getting good."
"You actually believe the word of the girl who nearly ordered a bloddy brawl on her teammates?" Bryan questioned as he glared at Echo.
"Oh, and you trust the word of this province's biggest fraud?" Echo countered.
"At least I wouldn't sentence people to death!"
"You're lucky I'm not shipping you to the army like Solstice did with his sister!"
"Solstice, Solstice, blah, blah, blah. If you want to chat about him that much, why don't you just go ahead and kiss him already?!" Echo tackled Bryan, and the two were engaged in a brawl with censored blurts of profanity spliced in. "We're up to fifty thousand!" Austin exclaimed as he looked at the tally and held onto a rope.
"Uh, what's with the rope?" Zoey asked him.
"Our way to reach a hundred." Mike and Zoey went wide-eyed as they realized what the ropes were attached to. "Beasts of the world," Austin announced, "Prepare to take your revenge."
"AUSTIN, NO!" Mike and Zoey warned, but it was too late. Austin pulled the rope, opening all the animal cages. Bryan and Echo stopped their fight when they noticed the freed animals. The duo ran off, but the peanut gallery wasn't so lucky. A panda got on Katie's head while rats went after Justin and Anne-Maria and an alligator tackled Eva and Beth. A python wrapped its neck around Blainley while monkeys latched onto Geoff and Carly. Rodney and Helga tried fighting off Fang while turtles tackled Bridgette and Zoey. "Off of her!" Mike growled as he joined the fight. The camera was knocked to its side. "We'll be right back," Dean announced as he crawled over, "I think." The goat knocked him away. "Keep on giving!" The goat growled before ramming the camera, knocking it out.
(cue commercial)
The Aftermath studio was now a complete wreck as everyone recovered from the animals. "Have you guys seen Tyler?" Lindsay asked as a monkey punched her head. "Tyler, they're stealing the lip gloss!"
"Oh, this is a disaster!" Zoey moaned as she looked at her tattered dress.
"I don't know," Mike replied as he modeled his now raggedy tuxedo, "I'm starting to like it."
"What happened to disliking the 'penguin suit'? Besides, Carly and Dean put a lot of thought into this."
"Speaking of which," Dean, now scratched up and covered in animal saliva, spoke up as he walked over, "Where is she?"
"Psst!" Carly called out from behind a couch. "Dean! I need a little help!" Dean walked towards her. "What's up?" he asked.
"One of the monkeys tore at my top," Carly explained, "And...well...now I know how Heather felt during the extreme sports challenge."
"You mean-? Uh, hold on." Dean took off his shirt and put it on Carly. "There," he said, "All covered..." He noticed the drool dripping from her. "In animal drool. I'm-I'm stupid."
"No," Carly argued as she stood back up, "You're sweet. Thank you." She kissed Dean on the cheek, making him blush. Meanwhile, Helga was patching up Rodney while Bridgette was patching up Geoff. "Hold still!" Helga barked out as she tightened the bandages.
"What?" Bridgette asked someone off-screen. "We're on?" She gave a gasp. "We're back...live!"
"Welcome back to the telethon to end all telethons!" Geoff announced.
"And don't worry," Rodney added, "We took care of both the animals and the baddies."
"Let us go!" Echo and Bryan screamed at Anthony as he tied them up.
"Hmm," Anthony thought, "Let me think about...NO!"
"Time now to check in with Blainley for our new total," Rodney continued.
"You bet, Rodney," Blainley announced. "Drumroll, please." The tally reached three hundred thousand, four hundred and seventy-six dollars. "We've cracked three hundred thousand!" Bridgette cheered. "Whoo! We're almost there!"
"Well, except now that the studio's trashed," Blainley informed them, "We need to raise an extra five hundred grand to break even."
"We have to reach a mil now?" Geoff wondered.
"One million dollars?" Rodney asked.
"In ten minutes?" Helga pointed out.
"Maybe I could play some jams to raise money," Destiny offered as she played her guitar. She played a few notes until she was shoved aside. "No way!" Sugar barked out. "My singing will be better!" She sang a few off-key notes, but was knocked back by Destiny. "Quit it!" Sugar snapped.
"YOU quit it!" Destiny shouted. The two got into a fight. "Somebody better do something before the studio is wrecked again!" Dean warned. Destiny and Sugar kept fighting until they were blasted by a fire extinguisher, with only their blinking eyes visible under the foam. "Both of you cool it," Sky warned as she and Dave set the fire extinguisher down. "Sorry we're late to the telethon, guys."
"I thought you guys were helping Leonard out with Zeke," Zoey pointed out.
"Leonard's school buddy Tammy offered to help instead," Dave told her.
"I'm glad we have your assistance now," Shane put in.
"I'm sorry," Sky asked, "But have I seen you before?" Shane started to stutter. "Uh, no," he finally answered as he tugged at his shirt collar, "I don't think so."
"You and Ella really are meant for each other," Mike teased. "You're just as bad at lying as her."
"What are you wearing, dude?" Dave asked him.
"It's a tux," Carly casually replied.
"You got Mike in a tux?" Dave and Sky wondered in disbelief. The duo started to laugh. "Oh, yeah," Mike sarcastically said as he rolled his eyes. "Real funny. Can't we get back to the show?"
"Maybe next guest will inspire donations," Helga suggested.
"Please welcome the queen of the knuckle sandwich and nicknames," Bridgette announced, "Jo!" Jo walked onto the stage. She wore a silver dress with a purple jewel in the middle, an opened silver jacket and matching silver boots. "Wow," Zoey commented as Jo sat down on the couch, "I thought you hated dressing up."
"The guys told all the guests to wear something all gushy for this stupid telethon," Jo grumbled as she turned her head towards the off-stage area, "AND I'D LIKE MY SNEAKERS BACK!" A pair of sneakers were tossed at her face. "I bet that airhead cadet's laughing it up now."
"No, he's not," Carly answered. She pointed to Brick, who was speaking on the phone. "I don't know, Mrs. Weston," he said. "Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. I'll let you know." He hung the phone up and ran a hand through his hair. "That was Phoebe's mom," he breathed out. "She's worried sick about her daughter."
"Wonder Wuss may be a pain in the butt," Jo admitted, "But she doesn't deserve to croak like that. I'm not heartless like Freakshow Echo."
"If I wasn't tied up," Echo voiced up, "I'd be pointing my middle finger at you."
"Before we show your time in the competition," Bridgette told Jo, "We have a special guest on the webcam." The screen showed a small girl with two long, blond pigtails and a blue princess dress. "Hi, Josie!" the girl squealed. "Aw, that dress really suits you!"
"M-Mary?" Jo stammered in shock. "What are you doing?!"
"I wanna help my big sister! I got some money from my piggy bank to donate, see? Three quarters and two dimes and a penny!"
"Um, yeah."
"Josie?" Lightning wondered. "Josie?" He started to laugh. "Don't laugh at Josie," Mary told him, "OR SHE'LL BEAT YOU UP! That's why she's the princess knight in my kingdom. And she'll come to the royal tea party after the telethon, right?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jo protested. "Who said anything about that?" Mary looked at her with pleading, teary eyes and a pouted lip. "Fine," Jo sighed in defeat, "But no unicorn hijinks, okay?"
"Yay!" Mary cheered as her demeanor perked up instantly. "Good luck with raising money! Bye-bye!" The screen switched off, leaving everyone stunned. "Well," Brick finally spke up, "I can see the family resemblance." One of Jo's boots was tossed at his face. "That wasn't an insult, you blockhead!" The other boot nailed him in the crotch, making him fall over. "Okay, that hurt."
"Let's see Jo's very unique journey to this moment," Rodney put in. The screen showed Jo's moments in the competition. "Lost in Egypt," Jo moaned as Team Victory sat in the sand, "Ain't that just great?!"
"Out of the way, princess!" Jo barked out during the pinball challenge.
"I'll show you weak!" Jo spat out as she knocked Samey off the platform. "You've had that coming for three seasons!" The screen switched off. "Finally, someone who sees Samey as the worthless trash she is!" Amy declared.
"If you couldn't be any more cruel," Dean muttered.
"Like that matters now," Jo pointed out. "Samey's still in the game while I'm here. What I SHOULD have done is smacked Topher!"
"That man's the worst!" Helga spat out.
"With that evil mind," Blainley told her, to her annoyance, "And silky hair-"
"EVIL!"
"Let's move on," Bridgette cut in. "Gifts and stuff are obviously not working, and this season's Total Drama is a musical."
"So if you want to hear Jo sing," Geoff added, "Call now!"
"I sang enough already," Jo decided. "I'm more of a dancer. Let's do that!"
"No!" Bridgette, Geoff, Mike, Dean, Helga, Rodney, Zoey and Blainley told her.
"Just cause your voice is so great," Carly added, "And I know we'd all love to hear what you'd say to Topher if you had the chance. Right, guys?"
"Oh, yeah," Geoff agreed as everyone else nodded their head in agreement. "Definitely. Just-just sing."
"Y-yeah," Blainley added. "No need to dance." Jo glared at them, and they could only plaster on a smile. She took a microphone over as an upbeat melody started to play. "You think you got me good," Jo began, "Okay, maybe you did. You think you rule the game, I guess. But you don't rule a thing cause you're a shrimpy little squid, who's gone and made a nasty mess!"
"Yeah!" Bridgette cheered.
"You lied right to my face and messed up my head," Jo continued as she stood in front of a portrait of Topher, "Ain't that the way with men? Look at the jocks."
"HEY!" Tyler, Lightning and Brick voiced out, though Brick fell over again.
"I know just how to do it," Jo declared as she smashed the portrait with a sledgehammer, "That snake's going down...and won't be getting up again!"
"Yes!" Rodney cheered.
"Ooh, let's dance!" Ella told Shane as she pulled him over to the stage.
"Sisters, come together now and take him down!" Jo rallied as she, Ella, Shane, Helga and Zoey danced to the music. "Sisters, come together now and sort him out! Sisters, come together and make him see what we're all about, whoa-oh!" Jo did a dance move, making Geoff and Blainley wince. Carly covered Dean's eyes with her hands while the peanut gallery could only stare in shock. "Sisters, come together now and show what's what!" Jo continued as she and the others danced. "Sisters, come together now and help me strut! Sisters, come together now and make him see what we're all about! REVENGE!" She did a kick, accidentally hitting Shane in the groin. Brick crawled over to one of the ringing phones. "Hello?" he answered. He widened his eyes in surprise. "You'll donate if she stops?"
"Well, Jo's gonna keep dancing until you donate another one hundred grand," Zoey announced.
"What?!" Jo wondered.
"No, no!" Mike, Geoff, Blainley and Rodney protested.
"It's the only way," Zoey pointed out. "Please...hurry!" The phones started ringing as the tally went up. "We cannot take much more!" Helga panted.
"Jo fans," Blainley breathed out, "Call in donations so she can stop dancing! The bigger the donations, the sooner this will end!" The tally changed to four hundred thousand. "Four hundred thousand!" Mike exclaimed. "We did it! Now stop her!"
"CUT THE MUSIC!" Zoey and Helga cried out. The music cut off, making the others breathe out a sigh of relief. Helga wobbled before falling over and landing on top of Jo. "You were really great, Ella," Shane complimented.
"Thank you, Prince Shane," Ella giggled. She fell over but Shane scooped her up. "What's the official tally update, Blainley?" Zoey asked.
"We're up to four hundred and thirty-five thousand big ones!" Blainley announced. "Which is less than helf of our new million dollar goal."
"We're dead," Dean said.
"Not yet. I have an idea, but you guys won't like it."
"If it will raise money," Rodney decided, "I'm cool with it. I swear."
"Okay, we did a survey of the hottest guys on Total Drama, and if you send in donations, we'll show you the top three!"
"I bet Justin's gonna steal the show!" Anne-Maria gushed as she rubbed Justin's arms. Destiny made a choking motion. "Coming in at number three is the most-shipped man in the fandom," Blainley announced, "And once tried to steal Chris's job at host, it's Topher!" Topher's moments were shown on the screen. "Helga, do you have any input?"
"Etot slizistyy otbros zhizni mozhet gnit' v samykh glubokikn yamakh ada!" Helga angrily cursed out.
"I doubt you need any translating on her thoughts," Rodney put in.
"Fine," Blainley continued. "At number two is the man that can dazzle sharks, eagles and an animatronic monster with a single glance, it's Justin!" Justin's moments were shown on the screen. "You better switch that off RIGHT NOW!" Destiny shouted.
"Looks like Destiny hasn't lost her grudge against Justin," Mike noted.
"TURN IT OFF!" One of Destiny's boots was thrown, nearly hitting Mike. "Someone restrain the raging rocker!" Blainley ordered. Jasmine picked her up and held her tight. "Feisty, aren't you?" she asked Destiny.
"How come my baby's only number two?" Anne-Maria asked. "Who could possibly beat him?"
"The only person that was more popular than Justin in the female demographic is Alejandro," Blainley replied. Alejandro's moments were shown on the screen, making the audience cheer. "Is this really necessary?!" Mike quietly seethed.
"Uh-huh," Blainley replied. "Check it out, Zoey and Sky. Audience researchers tell us that fans loved it when you drooled over Fabu-landro."
"I'm over that, Blainley," Zoey firmly told her. "Besides, the only guy I really drooled over was Mike. Uh, not literally. That would be gross."
"Sure. What about you, Sky? Any comments?"
"I'm sorry," Sky replied, "But I have a boyfriend." She put a bag over her head. "I'm not even gonna look."
"Keep those donations coming," Blainley announced, "And I'll keep the drama coming! Sky, you have got to see this!"
"Not even a little peek?" Alejandro tempted. Heather smacked him on the head. "It's for a worthy cause, mi amor."
"Stop it, you two," Sky told them. "Uh, has he...got his ponytail in?" The phones started to ring. "We're up to six hundred thousand dollars already!" Blainley announced. "Oh, the drama!"
"I can't believe I was tempted like that," Sky moaned as she sat down next to Dave.
"Well, you're not the only one," Dave pointed out as he motioned to Katie, Sadie, Staci and Kitty gushing at Alejandro while Heather held them back.
"Thanks for being so cool with this. You're the best!"
"It's easy to be cool when I've got you by my side." Dave removed Sky's bag over her head, and the duo shared a kiss. "No!" Blainley protested. "No kissing! Oh, you ruined all the drama! Well, we tried. Let's see our new tally." The tally reached seven hundred and twenty-one thousand dollars. "Seven hundred and twenty-one thousand dollars?!" Blainley wondered. "Oh, so close!"
"We'll never reach our goal now," Bridgette sighed.
"Your folks are wealthy," Rodney pointed out to Carly. "Can't you cover the rest?"
"Can't even if I wanted," Carly informed him. "My daddy and Mr. Milton both stopped funding the show after they saw how me and my friends were treated. Sorry."
"What do we do now?" Helga wondered.
"Never give up on my ability to work the fans," Geoff assured them. "Introduce our last guest, and I'll be right back." He ran off. "Okay," Bridgette slowly said. "Our final guest is the only competitor in the history of Total Drama to get sidelined by injury." The audience laughed at Luna's many injuries. "Ouch!" Zoey commented. "Fresh from the intensive care unit in the army, please welcome everybody's favorite maniac, Luna!" However, Luna did not appear. "Um, hold on," Carly cut in. "Please welcome, um, Cosma?" Luna, dressed in a camo dress, combat boots and square glasses, walked over with a serious look before sitting down on the couch. "Greetings, carbon-based lifeforms commonly referred to as 'Bridgette', 'Carly', 'Zoey', 'Dean', 'Rodney' and 'Michael'," she stated, now with an Italian accent.
"It's Mike," Mike sternly told her.
"How are you?" Bridgette asked.
"Cosma's health is in exquisite parameters, thank you," Luna answered. "Cosma is also proceeding with her time traveling device."
"Uh, great," Carly wearily said.
"Cosma is also assisting the nations on their rocket designs to where a voyage to colonize Pluto might be possible."
"I'm a little skeptical of this," Mike admitted.
"Same here," Dean agreed. "The clips from the last episode showed you faked being smart before the military took you away."
"But the dapper army men reformed Cosma, love," Luna told him in a British accent. "She is more than ready to assist." Mike gave a nervous laugh. "Geoff, get out here!" he ordered through gritted teeth.
"It's all good to go," Geoff announced as Helga led him back to the stage. "Yo, Lunes! Long time no party!"
"I see you took seat," Helga noted. "So let us proceed."
"Greetings, carbon-based lifeforms commonly referred to as 'Geoffrey' and 'Helga'," Luna greeted. "My word, your grammar is appalling!"
"Thanks, man," Geoff replied. "I try."
"English is not my main language," Helga pointed out. "And where are gallery of peanut people?" Blainley shrugged as she sat in the empty seats. "You'll find out soon," Geoff explained, "But first, it's time for a brand-new Aftermath segment: Brain Blast!" He hooked Luna up to a wheel. "Here's how Brain Blast works," he explained. "You call in with donations, and I blitz Luna-slash-Cosma with skill-testing questions. The bigger the donations, the harder the questions. And dudes, you're gonna want these questions to be super-mega-major hard!" A pool filled with sharks was right underneath the wheel. "Sharkies with shinies..." Luna gushed. "I mean, fascinating creatures. They can have up to three thousand teeth."
"Uh, Geoff?" Bridgette asked. "What are you doing?"
"Giving the peeps what they want," Geoff replied.
"Might I ask when ze cartilaginous beauties have been fed?" Luna asked in a French accent.
"It's been weeks. One wrong answer from Luna-slash-Cosma, and her straps will unlock, dunking her into shark-infested water!"
"You can't do this!" Carly protested.
"Cosma believes in exercising her gray cells to retain their enormous size in any way, no matter how trivial," Luna answered. "Cosma accepts ze challenge, Geoffrey."
"Did she change her accent?" Zoey asked Mike in a hushed tone.
"If you're a fan of violence, sharks or skill-testing questions," Geoff rallied, "You're a fan of mine, so call now!" The phones rang, and Blainley started to answer them. "Impressive," Rodney commented. "Let's spin it." Bridgette spun the wheel first. "I must say," Luna commented in a German accent, "Seventy-eight rotations per minute. Marvelous!"
"First question: Geography," Geoff announced. "Level of difficulty?"
"Major!" Blainley shouted as she held up two phones.
"What is the capital of Uzbekistan?"
"Please," Luna shrugged, "Tashkent."
"Correct! Next question." Dean spun the wheel next. "Currentcy Exchange," Geoff announced. "Difficulty?"
"Brutal!" Blainley moaned as she struggled to balance three phones.
"What's the equivalent of two thousand, seven hundred and eighty-nine dollars...in yen?"
"Elementry," Luna answered, "Twenty-one million, nine hundred eighty-one thousand, five hundred fifty one point eighty-two dollars."
"Yes! Next?" Carly spun the wheel next. "Math," Geoff announced. "Difficulty?"
"Impossible!" Blainley breathed out as she was tangled up in the phone cords.
"What's the square root of sixty-seven?"
"Child's play," Luna scoffed. "Eight-point-one-eight-five-three-five-two-seven-seven-one-eight-seven-two-four-five."
"Correct! Wow. Lwt's go to the next round." Geoff spun the wheel, but it rolled off and crashed. "OW!" Luna cried out. She put a hand to her head as she wobbled over. "Cosma, you okay?" Helga asked her as she and the others ran to her side.
"Who?" Luna wondered. "I mean..." She cleared her throat before speaking in a Spanish accent. "Cosma is fine, senora. Let us proceed with the fundraiser." She strutted off. "Okay, I'm seriously getting a bad feeling about all this," Zoey told the others. "That's the fifth time her accent's changed!"
"Weird," Geoff commented. "Could be a problem for the peanut gallery!" The peanut gallery was dangling from a rope above the shark pool. "AHHH!" Scott screamed out as he struggled to get free. An intern tied a blindfold over Luna's eyes and pushed a bomb over to her. "It's too early to say buenos noches," she commented.
"The rules are simple," Geoff explained. "Cosma or Luna, whoever, has to defuse the bomb blindfolded as the peanut gallery are slowly lowered into the shark tank."
"WHAT?!" Dean protested. "I don't care if Luna's smart enough to cure cancer. I do't trust her near any explo-"
"QUIET!" Luna snapped in her regular voice as she tossed a wrench at his chest. "I ain't letting you take this from me!"
"Nice going, Geoff," Mike sarcastically told him.
"Enough horsing around!" Luna pulled a mallet out of her dress. "IT'S HAMMER TIME!" The others had a look of terror as they ran off. Luna whacked the bomb with her mallet, and the set was engulfed in a huge explosion. Everyone was flung off and dangling from the set. "Okay," Geoff laughed, "That...was...AWESOME!"
"What about the sun?!" Mike asked.
"We can't hear you over the ringing!" Carly shouted.
"Did we reach our goal, Blainley?" Rodney wondered as Helga picked him up. Blainley wobbled up from the seats. "Give me...give me a drumroll, please" she slurred before passing out. The tally reached one million dollars and a penny. "One million dollars and one cent?" Geoff gasped with joy. "Who knows the fans best, huh? Me! Me, Geoff! I know them!"
"What?!" the others asked, slightly deaf from the explosions.
"Thanks to your support, we all still have jobs! Even Blainley! And the show WILL go on! So be sure to tune in next time for the continuation of the world's greatest reality competition ever...Total...Drama...World Tour!" The screen fell down. "What?!" Carly shouted.
Here's the second Aftermath! And honestly, this episode was so fun to watch and even more fun to write! Dakota's segment roughly stayed similar to Lindsay's, with the exception of her rallying viewers to call in with donations. Echo's was pretty unique as she tried to discourage callers just to spite Sol and Topher, and the surprise visit from her 'friend' Bryan and her getting the animal ambush was just great!
With Jo's part, I incorporated a guest caller from her little sister, Mary. (A headcanon from LaCuevademisgustos) And from seeing her agreeing to a tea party after the telethon to her attire and her take on 'Sisters'...I couldn't help but smile! Luna's was similar to Izzy's, but with a few tweaks such as her changing accents and trying to fool the hosts that she's changed.
The next episode is a merry old fun time, as long as we don't meet...AHH! It's Jack the Ripper! But how?! Until next time, this is Dunsparce519 saying enjoy and have a good day.