DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own.

Thinking

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

When Kakashi got to Ichirakus with Tenzo and Asuma, the place was completely full, standing-room-only. He stalked around the place, and finally wormed his way between a Sand kunoichi and shinobi sitting next to Asuma's team at the bar. "Have you seen Naru-chan?" he asked the stand owner tersely, not even realizing who else was close by. Seeing his example, Sai burrowed himself between Shikamaru and Ino and also asked for Naruto.

This was one of the reasons Shikamaru found the ROOT operative difficult to deal with. Even in their past life, after Sai became more socially aware, he still did this kind of thing just for shits and giggles. And now he was wedged even closer to a puppet master who liked ramen almost as much as Naruto but couldn't eat as much of it. Kankuro, however, had a whole new take on manners.

Why couldn't Kankuro move so I could sit by Temari? The puppet master was sweating like a dog, naturally, because he was eagerly eating a bowl of noodles, wearing full makeup and a black catsuit that included a hood!

"You just missed her, Kakashi-san. She left with that redhead Sand..." Teuchi stopped speaking when Kakashi took off in a huff. "Was it something I said?"

Asuma, in the meantime, was all sorts of interested in watching the eyes being made between the blonde sand girl and his favorite student. Just as he found a wall to lean against to observe what he hoped would be a show, he watched the way Kakashi's ROOT kid and the kunoichi on his team were looking at each other, then reading Icha-Icha together, (Inoichi would have a fit!) and completely forgot he was Tenzo's back-up plan for reigning in or even subduing the Copy Nin. It was only when he was hit hard in the forehead by an acorn, Tenzo's pissy calling card, that he remembered what he was supposed to be doing there at all, but at that point, he figured it was just best to get some lunch.

A free show with your meal should always be taken advantage of, after all.

"Who is going to eat all of this delicious-smelling food?" Fu asked excitedly, her wings fluttering snazzily behind her.

"You can each have a bowl or two," Naruto said, feeling generous. That left around 20 for her which sounded about right. Unfortunately, she'd upset Gaara on the way over to his hotel room, and when he looked at her with disbelief before glaring at her - with his narrowed eyes and eyebrows - she folded like a deck of cards. "Fine. You can each have three if you want."

"Thank you, Naruto!" Fu said and flung herself at the blonde again.

"Uzumaki's a pig, Fu-chan. She's just trying to be nice so that you'll like her," Gaara said with some amusement.

"HEY!"

"I do like you, Uzumaki!"

"I like you, too, Fu-chan," Naruto said with a chuckle before Fu flung herself on the blonde again, spilling her ramen. "Never mind, I don't like you anymore."

"Oh no!"

"She's being dishonest, Fu-chan," Gaara said, hiding an additional bowl of ramen behind the table they were sitting at for himself. "Although Uzumaki can be slightly... insane, neither she nor anyone else could possibly resist your charms."

Naruto began choking on her ramen at Gaara's... flirtiness? Unfortunately for her, having two jinchuuriki - one of whom doesn't know her own strength, and the other who certainly DOES - beating on her back caused what she was sure would be long-lasting bruises as well as a lot more coughing. As soon as they stopped - and yes, she noticed the smirk on Gaara's eyebrow-ed face - she coughed and asked how he could possibly call her insane.

Gaara carefully inhaled his noodles and answered, "You used that jutsu on Fu-chan's teammates, then kicked them..."

"In the balls!" Fu said joyously. She and Naruto high-fived. "You don't know how long I've wanted to do that!"

"Always follow your instincts," Naruto said as she noisily inhaled her noodles. Turning to Gaara, she asked, "What?" with her mouth full. It was just Gaara so she didn't particularly care about her manners, (not to mention that it was ramen,) and Fu seemed really cool. "You wanted her asshole teammates to keep her away from us? We've got stuff we really need to discuss, man!"

"We do. We really do!" Fu said, nodding and trying to figure out how to eat her ramen quietly and politely. She quickly gave up and sucked in the noodles and broth joyfully.

Naruto had a feeling that neither of them wanted her there, but she wanted to watch. Call her a voyeur or whatever: she didn't care. She'd just decided to ship Gaa/Fu nearly as hard as she shipped Shika/Tem. They could all be family someday from the way the two were looking at each other! Well, they already are, but...

"So from what our partners said, we're all doing our second life now," Naru said. When they met up earlier, the three had bumped fists, and Shukaku and Chomei had been very talkative. They also shared their chakra with Naruto and Kurama, but Kurama was too damn selfish to do the same for them so far.

Damn fox.

"Or maybe even more lives," Fu said happily. Gaara had a look on his face that seemed to say, "please don't ask," so Naruto didn't. "What's the last thing you remember?" Fu asked as she ate the noodles in a surprisingly good mood considering the nature of their discussion. "The Akatsuki got me: it was really awful. They were really strong, too, and one of them was from my village." Naruto felt her mouth go dry as she realized who that had to be. "The other one was really foul-mouthed, and..."

"Kakuzu and Hidan," Naruto said grimly before taking another bite of her ramen, which tasted like ash now. She pulled out a bottle of sake her clone had bought while they were on the way over and began pouring them drinks.

"How - how did you know about Kakuzu? We all thought, in Taki, that he was dead! They say he fought the First Hokage!"

"He did. I killed him."

"Really?" Gaara asked, looking both impressed and dumbfounded, which Naruto thought was weird. She nodded her head anyway and made a shadow clone go get them more sake or something harder, considering that all three of them were jinchuuriki. Formerly dead jinchuuriki.

"My brother, Nara Shikamaru, killed his partner, Hidan, and..." Gaara began coughing, but Naruto continued while Fu patted his back. "Oh!' She realized why Gaara was so surprised, and he definitely was: it was much easier to tell now that he had eyebrows. She really needed to stop focusing on that, but wondered why he still had his love tattoo on his forehead if he wasn't completely plucking his eyebrows or whatever the deal was there. Maybe he felt like the tattoo - which was more of an area that he'd dug into his forehead - was a part of him? Whatever… It looked dangerous and cool. Maybe she should mark herself?

No, that wouldn't work: she always healed too quickly. Damn fox, she thought ridiculously. Continuing with her earlier thoughts, Naruto explained. "Shika's parents took me in when I was 7 or so this time. I got a head injury afterward, but anyway, that doesn't matter. How long did you last, Gaara?"

"Oh. That's terrible to hear," he said after looking back and forth between the two women. "I assumed and hoped you lived far beyond my death, Naruto. You were my last living thought," he added, then blushed - which was adorable. Naruto noticed that he then might be a little worried about what Fu would think of that as he looked between the two women anxiously. She was going to explain that they were good friends and only friends in their past lives - or maybe prank him, although that was less likely - however, Fu already understood.

"Awwww! That's so sweet," she gushed to her first friend. Gaara blushed and she felt her heart soar. "Gaara told me about you during my Chunin exams in Suna, Naru-chan! I didn't know it was you he was talking about at the time, but Chomei told me later when he said we had to find you."

Naruto cleared her throat; the sake, discussion, and company made her emotional. "Of course Gaara did. I am awesome" she joked and would've said more but found sand covering her lips. Putting her hands up in surrender, she went back to talking since her lunch friends were eating ramen - which she needed to get back to. "I'm sure you remember this, Gaara, but Kakuzu and Hidan are called the Immortal Duo for a good reason. I have a nasty jutsu I need to use Sage mode to execute effectively to have any hope of killing him again without hurting myself. Hidan's disgusting: he stays alive even when his head's cut off, and Kakuzu is just as bad."

"He had all these hearts," Fu added, then shivered.

"You are a sage?" Gaara asked.

"Well not right now but I was," Naru said before swallowing her ramen. Did he not realize that back then? Fortunately, two shadow clones dropped their henges after entering the sealed hotel room and dropped off more sake in addition to some carbonated water and soda.

What they were discussing was already bad enough, but she really cared about Gaara - and Gaara had been with Tsunade the last she knew. Naruto loves Tsunade as if she were her own drunk mother or grandmother. "What happened to you?" Naruto asked, hoping that his fate wasn't even crueler than the time she'd seen him dead in that cave, all alone with that Deidara guy… She wouldn't allow that to happen again!

Gaara put down his chopsticks and sat back, placing his chin on tented hands over his ramen. "My village was attacked by a rogue Iwa shinobi. He used bombs, and... I was young. One got past me, but I believe that in the end, I saved my village. Otherwise, nearly the entire population and habitat of Suna would have been destroyed."

"That's so good, Gaara-kun!" Fu said, but Naruto was waiting for more. "You have so much to be proud of! You were an amazing Kazekage!"

Naruto nodded her head in agreement. Considering his father's example and terrible deeds, Gaara was nearly unbelievably selfless and good. "But then what?"

Gaara shrugged or shuddered, but looked away from her. "I remember Shukaku being slowly ripped out of me, and that was... the end, I suppose."

They sat in silence, drinking while Gaara and Fu also ate, but Naruto was stricken. "No, it wasn't."

"Pardon?" Gaara asked politely.

"That wasn't your end, 'ttebayo. My team and I - well, Sakura-chan, Kakashi, and Lady Chiyo and I went back for you. You were... Well, you were - gone, but uhh, Lady Chiyo brought you back from the dead with some kind of puppet jutsu that only she knew about." She did not appreciate the way Gaara chuckled at that. "I don't know what the hell you're laughing about, Gaara, but you were the Leader of the Allied Shinobi Forces during the Fourth Shinobi War! The last time I saw you... well, I'm not exactly sure, but you were fighting with the other Kages."

"You can't be serious? I remember DYING, Naruto."

Naruto sat and stared at him, in shock. "Well, you did -er, I AM serious! Lady Chiyo used that jutsu and my chakra to bring you back to life!"

Fu was darting her orange eyes back and forth between the two of them as the tension increased. She cleared her throat, hoping to calm the blonde down. "And what happened to you, Naruto?" Fu poured herself another glass of sake.

"Well," Naru sighed, trying to make sense out of everything she remembered yet again, "I transferred chakra to everyone in the shinobi alliance. The first four Hokages were reanimated, and Kurama was half sealed in my dad." Naruto shook her head and looked up at the ceiling, knowing that she always had a tendency to overtalk and over-explain things, so she went back to the basics. "I got wrapped up in a giant tree-thing, I guess? I want to say it's called a God Tree, but who really knows?" She tried to smile. "I remember trying to keep Shikamaru alive because he was dying, although..."

She smiled grimly at her dinner companions who were staring at her as they tried to figure out what she was saying. The whole thing still hurt to talk about - especially with them - but discuss it, they must. "I don't know. I was sure that's what killed the two of us for years; Shikamaru remembers it, too, but sometimes I dream of having Kurama ripped out of me really fast and taken into that blasted statue that got you, Gaara. That could just be fear, though, 'ttebayo."

Why the hell have you never spoken to me about that?! I have dreamt of that, too!

"Oh," Naruto said weakly. "Might be onto something there... Kurama says he's had dreams about that, too."

"You are being serious, right?"

Kurama's glare in response to her internal question to her partner was glacial.

"Something is missing. Is there anything else we should know?" Gaara asked seriously. He'd also asked Shukaku about what he remembered and they'd been discussing it ever since he was a little boy, but the bijuu knew nothing more than what Gaara did. Shukaku had an overwhelming desire to see his mother, and his mother was Naruto. Chomei felt the same way.

Gaara found it ironic that the demon that taunted him and called himself his mother was now so obsessed with finding his mother, Naruto.

...Which didn't make sense either way, because the bijuu didn't have a mother.

In the end, there was much to discuss, beginning with Orochimaru. Naruto and Fu planned to stay with Gaara and his siblings at the hotel overnight. Fu would need to leave early in the morning to go to her hotel to pick up what she needed for the exams. The blonde already had everything she needed for more than a week, so she planned to sleep in Temari's room - girl's night in - and return to meet her teammates outside Training Ground 44.

"Let's see if I've got all this straight, traitor," Ibiki began with an ominous smile on his scarred face as he sat in a cell across from his newest prey.

"I - I don't understand. I'm a loyal Genin of Konoha," Kabuto said in his weakest, most trembling manner. Really, he'd like to repeatedly introduce Morino Ibiki to his chakra scalpel enough times for them to become intimately acquainted, but Orochimaru-sama would only be even angrier with him if he did that. He knew that he needed to play nice so that he'd be allowed to participate in the Second Stage of the Chunin Selection Exams so his master's plans could be fulfilled. Genin had to enter as a team, and if he was held up in T&I, it meant that Orochimaru-sama could be losing not simply his best and most loyal servant, but Kabuto's teammates as well.

He wasn't even sure if Jun-sensei, his supposed Jonin sensei and another one of Orochimaru-sama's plants, would be allowed anywhere near the Forest of Death if his team was not deemed loyal to Konoha! "Please, shinobi-san, my team is participating in the Chunin Exams tomorrow, and from what our sensei has told us, we must all be present to proceed."

Ibiki ignored the pissant's slimy bellyaching and used a little genjutsu he'd been developing to make his target believe he'd been struck hard enough to completely disrupt his or her chakra network. Although Yokushi's reaction had been exceedingly brief, he didn't miss the way the traitor's eyes narrowed at him as if he meant to attack him. KI didn't do much to Ibiki, but he was sure that he felt the supposed Genin's, too.

It seemed that the notes he received from a handful of Genin from Room 301 were spot on, after all.

"Snakes and poison," huh?

Orochimaru would be able to finance this spy's operations, so it looked like the shinobi from the exam were right on track. Now it was just a matter of rooting out the rest of the traitor's network.

"Shikaku-san," Kakashi greeted the clan head cheerily. His mood was a lie. He was highly strung out and couldn't believe that he was back at the Nara's residence for this same reason.

"It's too late for dinner, but let me guess. You've lost your wife again." Shikaku would've laughed at the sad man who deflated like a balloon in front of him, but supposed that he'd better check to see if Naruto was with Shikamaru again, hiding out. He knocked on his son's bedroom door after making sure to deposit Kakashi with Yoshino, who was way too wound up about her kids venturing into the Forest of Death tomorrow morning. If she ever found out Jiraiya-sama's plans for the kids after the exams, she'd be absolutely impossible.

"What's up?' Shikamaru asked his father and yawned.

Shikaku knew he really needed to have a word with his son about covering his mouth when he yawned; manners - those kinds of things - but that would be troublesome. Plus if his mother, whom he and the boy were afraid of (but loved dearly, of course,) hadn't gotten through to him by now, how much could he really expect to influence him?

Shikamaru watched as his father stuck his head into his room and glanced around before pinching the bridge of his nose. "So Kakashi's here, I take it?"

Shikaku rolled his chocolate brown eyes. "Do you know where Naruto is?" His son's lackadaisical expression and shrug meant that he probably did; his boy was quite devoted to his sister figure. He'd even, shockingly, once heard his apathetic son refer to the girl as his future Hokage, but took it back after Naru told him that she'd only strive for the position if Shikamaru promised to do all of her paperwork for her. Needless to say, the two never brought it up again. At least not when he or Yoshino was around.

The heir followed his father into the foyer, where his mother was still raising a stink about forcing anyone into the Forest of Death. Seeing Kakashi nearly bolt to him made Shika decide to lead the man out onto the back porch, where he just stared at him and waited for his brother-in-law to get to the point. He wasn't too happy with the Copy Nin right now, figuring that the reason Naru was so upset had to do with something her husband did or didn't do.

"It's come to my knowledge that you were sitting with a team of Sand shinobi this afternoon at lunch." Shikamaru only nodded his head once at the Jonin's statement, which didn't brighten Kakashi's foul mood any. "I interviewed your teammates, but they were unsure as to how you met the foreign shinobi."

"You were there at the time," Shikamaru snarked and felt a cool sense of dread fall into the pit of his stomach at the way Kakashi glared at him.

"I don't believe that Naruto was taken against her will. The last person she was seen with was a redheaded Sand..."

Oh fuck, Naruto: you troublesome blonde! "It's not what you think."

"And what do I think, Genin Nara?"

"Troublesome," he sighed, and it really was. If he had his way about it, he'd let Naruto run around with the sand siblings and other jinchuuriki, but it seemed that Kakashi was handling this almost like a missing person's case. Plus what if Kakashi had the wrong idea about Naru's relationship with Gaara and then decided to be an idiot and try to get back at her? Why did Naruto always do things that required effort from him?! Finally, he answered the bent out of shape Jonin. "He wasn't the only one Naru took off with. She had things to discuss with him and a kunoichi from Taki."

"Genin Fu has been reported as missing."

"Well... Fuck." Shikamaru closed his eyes and decided to lay a few cards on the line. "Look, brother-in-law of mine," the way Kakashi bristled was reciprocated by him, but Kakashi had decades of experience - in THIS lifetime. Shikamaru didn't think the Jonin would attack him but wasn't too keen on testing whether that was true or not, so he reigned in his attitude and temper. "I'm not too thrilled with you right now, Hatake, but I think I can prove that both kunoichi are just hanging out together." Seeing Kakashi's empty gaze staring into his soul - and he would pop him if he started to lift up that headband of his no matter how suicidal that was - he sighed and said what was on his mind. "You made her cry."

It was a hypothesis, but as he said it, Shikamaru saw Kakashi falter and nearly take a step back before looking like the miserable dog he had been in their first life. "I don't want to know, but if you let me borrow a mask we can go into town and I can prove that they're probably doing something troublesome and silly."

"You can henge," Kakashi said after a beat.

"Yeah, and you can find my sister on your own." There was a standoff before Kakashi reached into his flack jacket and tossed a blue cloth in Shikamaru's face before following the younger man out of the compound.

Really, Shikamaru could've henged, but he wanted to be absolutely sure that Temari didn't find out that he was following her. He thought that he'd made a pretty decent impression on her at lunch today and Naruto was a pretty good - if not a bit overenthusiastic - wingman. He hoped to take the sand princess out after the preliminaries were over.

It was just a matter of deciding whether to unleash his full capabilities and actually beat her during their match that he was concerned about.

You have got to be kidding me...

Naruto and another blonde were sneaking around the hotel district - badly and almost comically on Naruto's part - an aqua-haired girl between them. All three women were smiling, mischief clearly evident in their expressions, and Kakashi felt much more relieved than irritated. If what the big Nara brat said was true, then he'd made his little wife cry when he ran away from her, and this was about the best he could hope for at the moment.

"She looks so beautiful," he said without thinking of the now similarly masked company he was keeping.

"She really is," Shikamaru sighed dreamily.

Kakashi stepped into his "brother-in-law's" comfort zone. "Oh? I thought you said you didn't feel that way about her?" he asked with a false smile on his masked face.

"Hmm? Who?"

"Naruto-chan!" Kakashi said in indignation.

"Was she there?" Shikamaru asked with a hint of sarcasm. He logically knew that she was, of course, but just didn't get why it really mattered since his once-in-a-generation mind was in a bit of a fog as he imagined doing sinful things with the girl he'd given his heart to a lifetime ago.

"Of course she's there: don't be an ass!" Kakashi seethed as pulled the Nara behind a corner, although the women didn't seem to be paying any attention to them. "Who are you talking- Oh," Kakashi frown turned into a smirk behind his mask. "I see. Which one?"

"Temari-hime. And shut up." Shikamaru's thoughts cleared a bit before fogging over into lust again. He shook it off, considering the company he was in. "I didn't know it before this afternoon, but Naruto met the Sabaku siblings when they were all children. Temari and her brothers were looking forward to meeting her again."

Yeah, it was true, and although it wasn't the real reason Gaara and Naruto sought each other out, it would surely be enough to settle Kakashi down. "This is Naruto's version of diplomacy." That was both bullshit and the brilliant truth.

He wasn't sure if Naruto realized it.

"And that was the Fu girl that's missing?"

"Keh. Obviously, she's not missing," Shikamaru sighed dramatically. "Let's put it this way: like a certain other kunoichi, she isn't being treated well in her home village. Unlike Naruto, however, she doesn't seem to have any support in Taki. She doesn't even have the support or respect of her team."

Kakashi stared at Shikamaru before pulling him further away from the masses on the street. "Are you telling me there will be two... in this exam?" he hissed, not wanting to risk the word "jinchuuriki" being heard by anyone. Holy shit. He'd been so hung up on his fiasco with Naru-chan, he hadn't considered the ramifications of Sabaku no Gaara's status, which he'd learned about on his last mission. So there were actually three...

"I'm not saying that at all. You ran into the third in your last mission with Naruto, right?" He smiled, glad for the look of increasing concern that crossed the masked nin's one eye. Maybe this bit of information would get more Jonin proctors into the Forest of Death. Kakashi didn't seem to be shocked by the information, so he really couldn't be sure, though. Shikamaru moved back toward the street to watch the women but found that they'd moved too far away to comfortably follow without Naruto giving him a hard time. He was sure that she knew that he and Kakashi were there.

Kakashi, however, chastised himself for not bringing this up with the Hokage earlier. Yes, he'd debriefed the Hokage about Sabaku's appearance during the fight with the redhead's fight with his father (who was fighting his wife,) but had the Hokage done due diligence in ensuring the jinchuurikis' safety? They needed to beef up security. The exam would be the perfect opportunity for the Akatsuki to attack and attempt to take them.

He needed to speak with Anko, who was the head proctor for the next stage, and the Hokage, then go get his wife and apologize before it was too late.

The next day -

Naruto closed her eyes to better focus on the chakra signatures of everyone around her. The Genin had just filled out the forms that Anko circulated, relieving the Leaf of responsibility should they be grievously injured or die, and still, Orochimaru's foul chakra wasn't within her sensing range. She noticed an extremely bright chakra signature that seemed to be calling to her, but Kurama chose that moment to agree that the traitor hadn't shown up, and teased her that she was missing Anko's perverted attention.

Naruto clearly remembered the (then older) kunoichi licking her cheek the last time she'd been here.

The worst ill-intent she sensed was coming from two of the Iwa participants, while the third was looking at her as if she was a delicious piece of meat! Naruto just wanted to start this shitshow of an exam so that it would end sooner. She met her brother's concerned gaze and shook her head: no Orochimaru. Not yet, anyway.

It was also nice that Kabuto wasn't in the group of Genin seeking their appropriately numbered gates into the forest! His team of weirdos was nowhere to be found, either. That meant that the prelims could go much differently than they had last time, though. Would she be able to use one of her stink bombs against Kiba?

"Are you guys ready for this?" Naruto asked her teammates with a sadistic smile.

"Hn," they BOTH said, and Naruto wanted to hit them a little, but smiled and only shook her head. She couldn't be sure but thought she might have seen Sasuke grin - just a tiny bit - when Sai uttered Sasuke's Uchiha-nonword with him.

As the gates opened and the overpowered Genin took off in a run toward the Tower, henged clones of the team appeared all around the edges of the forest doing the same.

She was shocked and scared stiff a little over a day later when a man wearing a black cloak with red clouds appeared in front of her and her team.