DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.
Thinking (+ flashbacks, etc.)
Emphasis
Bijuu, etc. speaking
Bijuu, etc. thinking
Inoichi knew they couldn't keep their prisoner, especially after Orochimaru's attack, but now he had to counsel him?! That guy was impossible to counsel!
How many times has he tried to get through to the kid, er- elite shinobi, in the past 10-plus years?!
"...it's his father all over again. Before the mission that shamed him, of course," the Sandaime continued while smoking his pipe, giving Inoichi a bigger headache. "Even before he was married, Sakumo would do literally anything for his girl." Here the Hokage paused, chuckled, and seemed to think about the issue and unknowns more. "The Hatakes are much like the Inuzukas in the way they..." He coughed awkwardly and looked away from the man he was speaking to. "Their relationships with their spouses. At least in some instances, I've been told," he added cryptically.
"The medic said she's got a Hatake crest that takes up her entire back," Inoichi said in exasperation.
"Yes, I've heard that as well. It's a seal: an incredibly ancient one."
Inoichi groaned. He'd see what he could do, but he'd dealt with Hatake Kakashi before. The man was impossible.
He didn't want to be here. And he shouldn't be here!
Kakashi was a Genin team captain and two of his minions - er, Tenzo's minions - were competing in the prelims of the CSE finals, and his little wife needed to be taken to the hospital and guarded. Even an hour's stay at the western end of the Intelligence building - otherwise known as the Old Yamanaka Psych Ward and Jail - was too much, and he'd been here nearly a full day!
Who really gave a shit that he attempted to murder a prisoner?
Maa, Inoichi and Ibiki, I guess. If it wasn't for them, Shiranui, Aoba, Santa, and Ebisu, Uzumaki Karin would be dead by his hand. It had taken a lot of manpower to hold him back.
He'd have to take revenge on them; oh and just wait 'til I tell Naruto. Maybe he'd been hanging around her too much. Scratch that: he could simply get one of her prank notebooks and find several particularly vicious ones: no need for him to do extra work thinking about it. Gods forbid that she still wanted to save the Uzumaki who had attempted to murder her, though.
No: not happening. No matter what Naruto wanted/wants, Kakashi wasn't going to allow her to get hurt. He once again felt his anxiety spike over whether or not simply being married to the little blonde would get her killed… It certainly makes her a target by my enemies.
No.
If he'd learned anything by being here again, and he really hadn't, it was Inoichi's stubborn philosophy that demanded Kakashi stop blaming himself for things he supposedly couldn't and didn't control.
"People get hurt, Kakashi. People die: shinobi endure, just like you have. Pain and loss are central to our profession and something we all accept when we put on the headband. Blah blah blah ...Now help me understand this seal the medics mentioned and your 'bond' with Naruto-chan."
"No."
Refusing to answer the man is what was probably keeping Kakashi in this horrid building, but his and Naru's love life was no one's fucking business but their own.
Damn Mind Walker's probably a pervert and just wants information.
He sat back against the wall and tried to relax. Thinking about his beautiful little wife and her Uchiha-looking teammates; he'd been enormously proud of her - them, he reckoned - before the monitors he and the other Jonin were viewing in the Forest of Death's Tower had gone out. Sai and Naru-chan worked together as a seamless unit. He had watched Sai draw things that wound up huge and frightening-looking, and several times his Naru-chan drove through them, Rasengans slinging ink everywhere, thus stunning opposing teams even more than Sai's creations initially had.
The three Genin had also performed admirably as a team, taking advantage of Sasuke's growing genjutsu prowess, Sai's kenjutsu, and Naruto's raw power and subterfuge. And for Genin, the squad's ninjutsu was stellar.
He smiled bitterly to himself… Naru-chan's a good girl. She never drove a full-powered Rasengan into any of the Genin they ran into. He'd be concerned over that, had the guys not reported that she tore through Orochimaru's bodies - plural - with two long-lasting Rasengans that must have taken a huge chakra toll from her. Good thing she has so much in the tank, to put it mildly.
Crazy fox: using me to enhance his surroundings. Just bizarre...
He groaned and pulled out the spare Icha-Icha he had sealed inside a hidden pocket of his Jonin pants. His belongings - including his Precious and his weapons - had been taken from him when he was arrested. Arrest in one's own country was no big deal for someone of his stature. He'd probably be held here until he apologized or at least promised not to commit the crime he was accused of attempting, which was almost laughable. He was a shinobi, goddammit, and shinobi do what needs to be done.
Sprawling out on the floor, he read a few chapters of his second favorite volume of the series, always seeing himself and Naru-chan in the protagonist's and his love interest's roles. Realizing that he was getting rather... excited over the scenes and what he could imagine doing to his wife ASAP, he literally slapped himself for being such a horny bastard when his wife was recovering from an attack by an S-class rogue shinobi.
To get his mind off his "problem," he thought back to his last interaction with Inoichi.
"Naruto-chan gave this to me," Kakashi said grudgingly. He just needed to throw Inoichi off his mentally unstable scent, and he wouldn't really mind guidance from a married man on what to do to make his little wife happy - although he wouldn't ask for that advice directly. He pulled the chain out from underneath his shirt, careful to remain masked.
Inoichi recognized the Yondaime's unique wedding ring immediately. "I see: that's a lovely gesture she made, Kakashi-kun. What happened after that?"
Glad that the Yamanaka didn't just dive into his brain and paralyze him as he had a few years ago to get answers, Kakashi chose to continue. "Maa, she told me she uhhh... likes me and I took off." Inoichi's mouth fell open and stayed open until he began laughing. Kakashi was not amused. "She's fine now: we worked it out."
The Yamanaka apologized for laughing at him, laughed some more, and finally coughed as he got his amusement under control. "Did you?" Kakashi didn't think the man looked very convinced, so much so in fact that Kakashi began to worry that maybe Naru wasn't so happy with him, after all. "So does Naru-chan have a ring also? Or are you planning to... Mmm, I don't know: perhaps give her something in return?"
Kakashi hummed and considered it. "I did order her some weaponry from Iron Country." Inoichi's eyes went wide as he paled, and Kakashi just didn't want to get what his problem was now. "Iron Country makes some of the best chakra-conductive weapons outside of Iwa, and my contact there hasn't been responding. I also bought her some special weapons polish since she doesn't form calluses." Kakashi said before getting lost in thoughts of Naru's soft skin.
"Such a romantic," Inoichi drawled sarcastically and placed his head in his hand.
Kakashi supposed that was something to consider more. If he could find his mother's ring, he could give it to her. He reached for the ring she'd given him again and felt her warm chakra within it. Kami, he was such an in-love sap! And he still couldn't believe this had happened to him!
Poor Naru-chan, he thought, stuck with a guy like me...
He wouldn't have it any other way now, though.
MEANWHILE -
Naruto barely made it in time to compete in the preliminaries for the third stage of the exams. She and the disguised Baa-chan had just made it inside the arena when she jumped away from the older woman, straight behind the group of Genin that had made it through the Forest. Shikamaru turned around from his position in the front row of Chunin candidates and looked at her bandaged form with both concern and maybe amusement?
Dammit, she'd forgotten. What the hell did Sai put on my face, and why did it not wash off? She'd only had time to wash her face and brush her teeth before getting dressed after Sasuke left their room, and the bathroom didn't have a mirror.
She observed the other competitors as the Hokage spoke and fully realized just how different things were going to be this time around.
As Sai had told her earlier, Tenten's makeshift team was here, Gaara and Fu's teams were present... And now Fu's teammates are leaving the competition. Great, she thought sarcastically, as a few more Genin also declined to continue. The Iwa team was beside her and Naruto could already feel the faint Killing Intent the guys on the team were attempting to hold back after realizing that she had made it to this stage of the competition. Kiba and Shika's teams were here, and yep: there it is: Kiba was rather loudly complaining about why they should have to work their way through another fight to get to the main event in a month. There were two Suna teams that she was unfamiliar with standing next to the Sabaku siblings, an Ame team, and finally, Sasuke and Sai were side by side in the row in front of her. Gods, how the three of us with our marked-up faces must look to the others.
She really needed to find a mirror. Looking around at the candidates, she saw Tenten listening attentively to the Hokage and remembered that she'd used a mirror in the first stage of the exams. Surely she'd still have one now.
"Perhaps instead of worrying about your repulsive human appearance, you should focus on the fights to come. I hope you are prepared this time."
Naruto fisted the one hand she could move well. Damn that fox! "You! I'm still pissed off at you! And I'm being observant, dammit!"
And where the hell's Kakashi? Tenzo was there, being berated and looking terrified of the disguised Tsunade who was throwing a fit at him. The other senseis were there and looking amused or irritated by the woman's behavior, aside from an Iwa shinobi from the Fourth Shinobi War Naruto recognized. She thought his name might be Kitsuchi. The Sandaime was still droning on and on, so it made sense that they were entertained by the disguised Sannin.
"The Ningen is an elite of the village that was recently attacked. I'm sure he has better things to do than fawn over you."
"Asshole." Naruto really was angry with the fox. In her last life, she would have never imagined that Kurama would have held her back from ripping off that seal and opening his cage. Actually, it was nearly unbelievable now!
Just like last time, she and the other Genin walked up the stairs and waited for the preliminary rounds to begin after her JiJi finished speaking.
Naruto almost laughed at how drugged and high Ino looked, standing between Sai and Sasuke. Ino had to be a pervert considering the look on her face. "Hey Shika," she quietly greeted her brother, squeezing in between him and Choji.
"'Hey Shika?' THAT'S all you have to say to me after that... mess?" Shikamaru's voice dropped to an angry whisper. "I had to carry your half-dead ass to the Tower!"
"Exaggerating much?" Naru asked disrespectfully as she crossed her arms in irritation. "And oh yeah: thanks for that, ya know. Seriously," she said in a quieter tone to both heirs.
"Moron," Shikamaru replied, making Naruto pout. Choji scolded him and told her how worried they'd been about her.
"The poison on that kunai even smelled strong," Akimichi said with a bit of an agitated shiver.
"Holy shit! That bitch poisoned me, too? And I was being so nice!" Naruto then began to whisper to her brother and his best friend, her eyes darting around to make sure that no one was listening anymore. "We're related clansmen: that idiot girl! ...Can't believe that she'd believe that snake over me!"
The blonde perked up as the first names came up. Gaara sunshinned down to the arena floor and waited for his opponent, another Sand shinobi named Shishio. The purple-haired man - Naruto wondered how old he was - trudged down the arena stairs, looking terribly reluctant to fight Gaara. Gaara offered him a small smile of encouragement, and Naruto felt so proud of him. He had come so far from the boy filled with hatred and bloodlust that she'd initially met in her first life.
"Hajime!"
"Whoa! I didn't know anyone but Gaara could control sand," Naruto said in amazement. She observed that Shikamaru shrugged slightly and awkwardly, and figured that this was something he knew about. Considering he was the former Suna ambassador, it wasn't surprising. She and many other Genin oo-ed and ah-ed when the slightly taller shinobi turned his sand into lions and even used a camouflaging jutsu to hide from Gaara.
Sadly for him, Gaara could hide (or replicate himself,) too. Gaara was also a sensor. Sand clashed between the two opponents again and again.
Naruto smiled as she realized that Gaara wasn't just playing with his comrade; he was allowing this Shishio guy to show off his skills. "Great job, Ra-kun!"
"You are an idiot."
Shukaku, who somehow had made himself and his chakra comfortable within her crowded body, seemed to think her nickname for Gaara was both humorous and quite fitting.
Naruto ignored her own furry menace as Gaara created a gigantic sand wave and finally held his opponent within a giant fist of sand before allowing Shishio to forfeit. They had put on a good show, and considering that Gaara seemed to respect Shishio - and if Rasa isn't being a dick as usual - maybe they'd both get promoted.
Another Suna shinobi's name came up, as did Fu's. Naruto wondered if the Old Man was up to something: getting the jinchuurikis' battles out of the way first. And that poor Sand team!
Fu's taijutsu was impressive, but being the smiling sweetheart she was, she allowed the Sand guy, Koji, to back off a bit and use a damn shield of sand! Naruto could imagine that using the sand for jutsus was a great option in Suna, but had no idea that anyone other than Gaara and his dickhead father could do it until today. Suddenly the guy was a prick and demeaning Fu for being "unable to fight a long-distance opponent." The guy was also pretty damn dangerous in close-distance fighting with those sand constructs of his.
Naruto had heard an earlier groan behind her but almost jumped at seeing Gaara standing so close to her. He wasn't paying her any attention though: his seafoam green eyes were on the fight below them.
The more the guy dissed Fu, the more he was going to pay, Naruto thought. Sure enough, when the guy actually had the nerve to laugh at the kunoichi, Fu flew up in the air, and sparkles started to fly. Naruto wasn't sure what was going on but...
"Genjutsu," Chomei explained in a delighted voice.
...Koji just keeled over and was unable to fight anymore. Naruto cheered for her friend - my sister - and remembered that she really needed to talk to Gaara, that Taki leader, and the Kage about having Fu at least temporarily move to one of their villages. Taki just couldn't defend themselves and Fu from the Akatsuki as well as the larger nations could. Plus, Fu was mistreated there.
Chomei and Shukaku agreed but didn't say anything, as Naruto was having some difficulty acclimating to all of their voices in her head at once. They loved their Mother.
Little did Naruto really understand that yet - or know that Gaara was thinking along the same lines, although he also had his own personal reasons for wanting Fu closer to him.
"What are the odds?" she asked no one as her name came up on the screen following Fu's fight. And whaddya know...
"Let me guess: you're going to... personally 'gas' him?" Shikamaru whispered with the most mocking expression she'd probably ever seen on him.
"Tsk! Never again!" she hissed and blushed, praying to the gods that she wouldn't fart on Kiba once more. Or anyone for that matter! She jumped down into the arena where Kiba and Akamaru were already looking ready. Akamaru barked happily at her, making Naruto smile, wave, and bark back at him.
"Sorry to do this to ya, Naruto-chan. I heard ya got real hurt in the Forest, but it's time."
Still underestimating me, Kiba? You should know better by now. Naruto wondered if it was a kunoichi thing: if Kiba was just so macho that he undervalued all kunoichi. That didn't seem right, though: his Mom was amazing and tough, and his older sister was supposed to be similar, just not as brash. "Whatever you say, Kiba-kun. Let's have a good fight, ne? Right Akamaru?"
Akamaru barked in what she guessed was approval while Kiba gave her a singular nod, and Naruto felt bad about what she was going to do. She was hurt and still healing, though, and really needed to get this fight over with fast!. When Kiba immediately fed his ninken that pill he'd used as a last resort in her first life's preliminary battle, she realized that Kiba WAS taking her more seriously. Akamaru turned red and Kiba began to call out his jutsu. Naruto sloppily threw three kunai that had small wrapped seals on the handles, making Kiba stop and shake his head.
He apparently didn't notice the seals. Oh, Kiba...
She dodged as Kiba and Akamaru came flying at her and threw two smoke bombs.
"I might not be able to see, but ya can't evade my nose, Naru-chan," Kiba taunted from behind her.
"Kai," Naruto said in just over a whisper. She heard Kiba curse as she made five shadow clones, (just in case he could withstand the unadulterated stank,) a mixture of horrible odors emanated from the kunai she'd thrown. She held her nose and breath, waiting until she properly sensed that he and the ninken were down for the count. Glad she could hold her breath for so long because Kiba really tried to wait that stink out, she made a simple Gale Palm help clear the arena's air. She was declared the winner but got aggravated looks from the other Chunin hopefuls as she climbed the stairs again. Many of them looked rather green.
"You did gas him," Shikamaru grumbled as Choji went down the stairs. "Be careful, Choji," the siblings in all but blood said together. Choji was up against one of those Ame shinobi with the rebreathers - so weird - and Naruto didn't know if Choji could take him one-on-one or not.
Ends up he could. And quickly, too! Choji used his clan's jutsu to smash the guy - and that was about all there was to it. Holy cow! He was declared the winner, and a third shinobi was carried out of the arena on a stretcher.
"Shikamaru," Naruto said in a low voice and placed her hand in front and around his ear so that no one else could hear. Her fuuinjutsu-ed earrings were long gone. "I don't think these are the same gas mask dudes I fought before."
"Rebreathers, Naruto. There's a difference."
"Yeah, yeah. Still, they're not... moving the same, I think."
Tenten was up against another guy from the same Ame team - but this one was more formidable. Maybe he was the one who made all those weird clones in her first life? If it was even the same guys? He had a lot of chakra for a regular Genin, one way or another, but thankfully, Tenten had a LOT of weapons and exploding seals. She ended up slashing his mask, er- rebreather, and torso with a sword, which was super exciting. She didn't remember Tenten using a sword before, but it made sense. She wields it well, Naruto thought. Now she wanted a sword even more!
Her opponent was carted off after the disguised and angry Tsunade did something to help the guy and okayed the transport. For some reason, these masked guys needed that mask to simply breathe. Why the hell would they need that? She'd have to talk to Shikamaru about it later. Maybe they'd been altered by their village or something, or were from a family with a weird Kekkei Genkai? Meh, all Kekkei Genkais are weird: her own included.
Sasuke almost burned an Iwa shinobi to death just before being nearly pierced by something the guy called out that she'd seen before in the war: "Earth Flow Spears." The guy - Naruto hadn't paid attention to his name (another Lee, she found out later) and had instead freaked out that Sasuke was going to get killed by an Iwa shinobi and that could start a war. Ya don't just kill the last Uchiha and get away with it: exam or not, she feared. The Iwa guy had been wildly throwing punches with rocks on his hands and arms, but that bulky armor made his attacks slower.
Between the taijutsu, the genjutsu he must have used to confuse the Iwa guy to slow him down even more and of course, Sasuke's pyromaniac tendencies, her teammate had put on a pretty good show.
Sasuke had also shown a lot of his tricks, though, and that wasn't good. He'd have to face someone in the next round and unless that person used a good sampling of their repertoire of skills before they were finished in the prelims, Sasuke would be at a disadvantage. She patted her nasty teammate on the back as he walked past her and made sure to call him a bastard when he tried to get away from her.
"Tenten, do you have a mirror?"
"Only if you don't take that off," she replied with a grin.
"So it is true," Naruto lamented as Tenten got a tiny mirror out of her pocket. "What the heck's on my face anyway, 'ttebayo?!" Naruto looked in the mirror and blushed cherry red. She heard light laughter from those around her that only worsened the more she tried to hide her face. Sai was going down into the arena, but she'd kick his ass when they were out of here.
She looked like a cat! Sai had put an upside-down triangle on the tip of her nose and had also used a black marker on her whisker marks, elongating them. Reluctantly, she pulled up her headband as she looked away from everyone else with Tenten's mirror. There was something in her eyebrows... Great. He'd marked a wide "M" on her forehead.
"At least it's not a sex organ."
"He never does anything by half, does he?" Naruto stopped what she was doing and glared at her partner who'd just spoken. "I"m still mad at you! We're gonna take off that seal whether you like it or not!"
"Tch! Only at the right time, when an Akatsuki asshole's not in front of you, idiot!" Kurama really needed to talk to Naruto when she was alone. She may not have known what that seal was that Orochimaru had pulled out, but he certainly did - and so did his siblings.
Sai's face remained blank as he stared at his opponent, a Yamanaka who seemed to have been flirting with him since before they began the second stage of the exam. ...IF what he'd read and understood about such interactions was correct. He nodded at the girl who smiled prettily at him and felt a strange sensation in his gut.
He'd have to read more about that. Icha-Icha wasn't really helping him, although it and Tenzo-sensei intimated that it should have. He'd felt that strange sensation a few times now over the past several weeks.
The Yamanaka heiress moved to perform her clan's jutsu, which was odd. Surely she needed support in order to succeed in defeating him?
He ran forward to elude and subdue her when he quickly realized that he was in a genjutsu. He moved to release it and did so again when that didn't work. Oh, so this is the Yamanaka's technique. Interesting.
"Sai, I'd like you to forfeit and agree to go on a date with me," Ino's voice seemed dreamy in Sai's now hazed mind.
Ah, it seemed he was correct about the flirting. Interesting. "I apologize, Yamanaka-sama. If I do not succeed in the Chunin promotions, I may be forced to live in hiding under Danzo-sama's thumb again."
Oh shit: did I just say that?
"Please do not repeat what I just admitted," Sai requested earnestly.
"Mou, what happened to calling me Ino-chan, Sai-kun?" Ino batted her eyes flirtatiously. When Sai didn't respond, Ino's shoulders slumped before she decided to walk toward him, still in his mind. "Oh alright. On the condition that you go out on three dates with me, I'll let you win and keep your secrets, but you've got to allow me to put on a good show," Ino teased with a saucy wink as she counted down to three on her well-manicured fingers.
"That is agreeable," Sai said, unsure of what he should do now. She probably would be unhappy with him if he stabbed her: Naruto always particularly hated that, and she was a female. "Taijutsu then?"
"I have a few water jutsus under my belt," Ino said with a shy smile.
"Very good; begin," Sai said, waiting for her to release her technique. If she didn't, he'd just wait for her chakra to deplete.
"Now wait just a minute, you sexy thing."
Sai's eyes grew wider with every step Ino took as she sauntered toward him. Pulling his head down - inside his mind - before she kissed him and suddenly had her tongue in his mouth, Sai was amazed! This was a truly impressive jutsu and an incredible kunoichi! Plus...
I'm kissing a girl!
The Chunin hopefuls watched and wondered what was going on. Some present weren't familiar with the Yamanaka Clan's jutsu. Even those who did know of it, however, wondered what was taking so long. Sai, who was facing the majority of them, had an expression that turned from blank to one of incredulity or awe, and then his face began turning red as he refocused on his surroundings. Ino was smirking by the time he came out of his stupor.
"Hn. I thank the Sage and every deity under heaven and earth that he faced her instead of me," Sasuke said just loud enough for those around him to hear.
"Bastard! It's so good that you can talk!"
"Shut up, Usuratonkachi."
Naruto's eyes bugged out of her head. She didn't think Sasuke had ever called her that in this lifetime and had been grateful for it. On the one hand, it made her sad and nostalgic. On the other, it made her want to thrash him once again and show just what a loser she was as she beat him to a pulp! Her violent thoughts were put aside when Ino used a water whip to splatter Sai's ink tiger before engaging him in taijutsu. Sai was able to defend himself fairly easily with a clone while he used his weird ninjutsu to send ink snakes to restrain her. Ino gave up as she lay on the ground, her limbs bound by snakes, panting heavily.
"Damn," Naruto said as she shuffled awkwardly. "That's... kinda sexy, huh?" The guys surrounding Naruto looked at her with disbelief, but Tenten seemed to know exactly what she was talking about. "I mean, not the snakes, but..."
"Please stop talking," Shikamaru said as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.
In a cell/guest room relatively nearby, a silver-haired man sneezed while he was reading and found himself with a raging hard-on.
"Holy bejeezus: I need to sit down," Naruto said as she tried to deny the heat that had just coursed through her. She crossed her legs tightly as she did so, but found that it only made her problem worse. She cursed her husband and swore to herself to tie him up well and good as soon as she got home.
Two Suna teammates had taken the field, a hot guy named Shira and a kunoichi named Yome. Yome immediately forfeited and bowed to her teammate and the proctor.
"A shame," Gaara said in just over a whisper. "Shira was once my taijutsu master. I was looking forward to seeing him in action again. It's been a while..."
"DID SOMEONE SAY TAIJUTSU?!"
"My ear! Dammit, Lee," Sasuke muttered in a low voice as he rubbed his ear.
Naruto mumbled what Tsunade had said about her Uchiha teammate before: "big baby." Fortunately, no one had a chance to immediately hear very much about Youth, as Lee's name came up on the monitor, and he'd be facing Kankuro.
"Ooooooooooooh-hohoho! This should be goooooood," Naruto said as she rubbed her hands together. Even though she liked Kankuro, she really hoped that Lee would win. There were only three puppeteers (disgusting and creepy) that she could think of, thank the gods, plus that bull-headed Nagato who might still have his dead friend and more dead underlings hooked up to chakra receivers like some kind of total whack-job.
What was the deal with her family, anyway?!
Kankuro had always said that puppetry was as much art as jutsu. "...and poison, and carpentry! Oh! And my awesomeness; don't forget that Naruto!"
She and the puppet master had developed a closer friendship in her first life after she gifted him Icha-Icha Tactics. She found him to be energetic and funny, although downright malevolent in battle. He was also just a really rude shit when meeting new people, which was where their relationship stood right now. That's okay: he'll come around, Naruto thought optimistically.
Lee, though, was just so awesome! Naruto said a little prayer that he wouldn't get poisoned as he moved almost too fast to track. She pretended to rub her temples to hide her eyes as she channeled Kurama's chakra to them to better see what was going on.
Lee attacked "Kankuro" first, but Naruto already knew that it was his ugly Crow puppet. He kicked it so fast and hard that it splintered into pieces and the real Kankuro screeched in outrage and horror. The real Kankuro in a taijutsu battle against Rock Lee? Yeah, it was over pretty fast.
The Leaf Genin applauded and yelled for their green friend. "I'm super happy that Lee won, ya know, but Kankuro," Naruto began before Gaara interrupted her with similar thoughts.
"It is unfortunate that he wasn't able to demonstrate his impressive skills," Gaara said with concern written all over his handsomely eyebrowed face. "And I was the one to convince my siblings to wait until we could take the Chunin Exams in Konoha."
Naruto and Shikamaru winced. Outside of the years, they spent in their first lifetimes, Temari and Kankuro were older than them. The Sabaku siblings had remained Genin-ranked all these years while the "Rookie Nine" were forced to remain Academy students? The Sabakus would have made significantly more money taking the missions they did as Chunin if missions were paid out in Suna the way they were in Konoha. Plus there was simply the significantly added respect afforded to Chunins over Genin that they'd been missing out on.
"He just got a bad opponent," Naruto said, hoping that Kankuro would still have an opportunity for advancement after waiting all these years. "The fact that they waited so long when you requested it shows just how much they respect and love you, Gaara," she said quietly and sincerely. Gaara closed his eyes and nodded at her in acknowledgment. Then he looked to the arena's floor with a grimace.
Temari was already standing down there looking livid! Her fan was out and she was NOT playing - anyone could see that. Shikamaru sighed in relief beside them because Shino was stiffly making his way down the stairs to meet her, and even though his face couldn't be seen, Naruto would bet half her parents' fortune that he didn't look happy behind those glasses and coat collar. As soon as the word "Hajime" was uttered, Temari had blown Shino straight into the back wall and didn't give him a single break!
"Troublesome. Troublesome... troublesome!" Shikamaru continued to groan.
Shino was literally getting smacked all over the arena! One had to give the Aburame credit, though. His kikaichu were flying high and low trying to get to Temari as he repeatedly righted himself, but it was no good. His glasses off, his clothes ripped and torn, he finally forfeited and Temari flew away on her fan like some kind of angry but victorious goddess. "Damn," several Genin said in either awe or horror.
"Wow! Shino's pretty good lookin' under all that stuff," Naruto noticed. There were several groans at her exciting announcement, but she was right! "We've gotta get him a girlfriend!"
"Dobe... shut it, please."
"Alright, Bastard. You can be his girlfriend - or boyfriend, I'm not prejudiced." Shikamaru stopped Sasuke's punch toward her with his shadows, before huffing as he walked down to the arena where his opponent awaited him.
The shadow user ignored his sister's loud cheers for him and studied the Ame Genin in front of him. He'd seen two of these guys with the rebreathers already, and they fought differently from each other. One had much more chakra than the other, and from what Naruto had told him about fighting against them in their first life, the Ame group used genjutsu to fool Team 7 - and Kabuto, that snake - into believing they were fighting shadow clones.
So why didn't Sasuke catch that with his Sharingan back then?
Naruto was so damn bad at genjutsu, that from her memories of the battle, he also had to allow for his opponent's potential ability to draw water from either the atmosphere or through unseen seals.
It could have all been an illusion that Naru couldn't get out of, but her description of the battle was information he needed to consider.
He'd observed the terrain Naruto had described in that battle on two sides of the Tower when he moved toward and past it with his team to rescue Naruto days ago. Both sides were similar: the banyan and Hashirama trees he remembered from before; the annoying overgrowth of poisonous plants, the huge (but not summons-sized) snakes and millipedes that no one else seemed to notice were hanging overhead...
"Well if you're not going to move, I am," the Ame Genin, Katsu, said. Shikamaru nodded and appreciated that he'd moved his rebreather to talk. He was different from his teammate, it seemed. His opponent used a camouflage jutsu to hide.
Sadly for Katsu, just because one is camouflaged doesn't mean his shadow will be, and it was just the right time of day for Shikamaru to be most successful. He wound his shadows up the surprised Genin's body until reaching his neck as the shinobi's camouflaging failed. "Kage-Kubishibari no Jutsu complete."
Having been declared the winner of his very short match - thank you, Kami - Shikamaru couldn't help but smile and try to ignore his sister and team's hollering and praise. Naruto and Ino are so troublesome! He also couldn't stop himself from glancing back at Temari who was on the other side of the arena with her brother, the Iwa and Ame groups, and all the guys who had quit. He was glad to see that her applause had already stopped - but she had been clapping, even if it was only to be polite - better still, she looked intrigued.
His grin turned into a smirk. "Intrigued" he could work with.
Naruto held her hands together after the next names came up, feeling deeply relieved that neither Shikamaru nor Hinata would be going up against one of those Iwa Not-Genins. Hinata's opponent was a Suna kunoichi named Sen. Although small, her fans indicated that Sen was a wind user. Naruto couldn't help but wonder what would've happened between her and a different Hyuuga a lifetime ago had she had wind techniques under her belt at the time.
Sen began waving hand signs, and even Naruto knew that when nothing seemed to happen, that she had cast a genjutsu. Hinata was watching from the traditional Hyuga stance, her byakugan activated. As Sen waved more hand signs, Hinata took things into her own hands and moved forward at an impressive speed.
Sen dodged and squeaked before wincing in pain as Hinata managed to strike the brunette's arm. Naruto was shocked when Hinata backed off and began waving hand signs, too. She'd never ever seen or heard of a Hyuuga doing that!
- It was another genjutsu! Hinata immediately moved forward and Naru heard Gaara tsk, his hand clutching the guard rail they were behind even harder. "You are in the range of my divination," Hinata said, her voice quiet but heavy. When it was all over, Naruto couldn't help but yell and cheer for her old friend. Hinata had totally kicked that Suna girl's ass and was on her way to the finals!
"THIS IS BULLSHIT! HOW DARE YOU PLEBEIANS FORCE ME AGAINST MY TEAMMATE AND COMRADE! Fucking Tree-huggers! Screw you, Proctor! Screw you, Hokage!" Kurotsuchi yelled. She'd been bitching about something for two matches now on the other side of the arena, and had apparently lost her stone-cold mind.
"Home field, bitch," Tenten whispered to her friends who tried not to laugh.
Indeed, no other fighters were left, and it was obvious that Kurotsuchi fully expected her teammate to forfeit.
And he did.
The Jonin senseis, proctors Ibiki, Anko, and the Sandaime made their way to the floor to join Hayate... whom Naruto hoped would stay alive this time. She wasn't sure what was up with that cough of his, but Hayate had always been cool enough to her in both lifetimes. The Sandaime was holding a hollowed-out log and asked the preliminaries' winners to join them.
Kurotsuchi was still complaining, and the Genin learned that her father was her sensei. The Iwa Jonin glared at his daughter and apologized to the Hokage for her attitude and language, which was hilarious.
The Hokage cleared his throat before using a jutsu to enhance his voice so that everyone could hear him. "Congratulations on successfully passing the Preliminary Rounds of the Chunin Selection Exam Finals. The Finals will be held in one month. Will each of you please step forward to draw a number?"