Chapter 20

Stefan's mind races as he drives the back roads of Mystic Falls. The cool air rushing through the broken windows of Elena's SUV drowns out all other nighttime road noise. He glances in the review mirror at the brunette vampire in the back seat, and she smiles at him. This Elena is so different from his Elena, and Stefan isn't sure how he feels about it. Sometimes the vampire version of his girlfriend seems happy and free in a way that he has yet to experience. When he sees this aspect of her personality, Stefan is glad for Elena. He's also proud because he knows that his future self played a major role in her happiness; perhaps he's the main reason for her carefree ways.

Stefan knew Elena was special the moment he met her and not just because she looked like Katherine. Watching her for months after their first encounter on the bridge, it didn't take long for Stefan to notice her kindness and innocent nature. She's truly the purest thing in his life. While he'd hoped to have Elena in his life for as long as possible, Stefan never wanted her to become a vampire. He was afraid that his curse would pollute and twist her into something dark, like Damon or Katherine. But, when the 200-year-old vampire smiles at him, he can see the Elena he knows and love shine through.

Although Stefan is ashamed to admit it, even to himself, the moments between smiles and laughter leave him with an uneasiness that he can't shake. He never imagined he'd ever feel insecure about Elena, or any girl for that matter, at least with regards to his brother as competition. Even with Katherine, Stefan was favored by her over Damon, and he never truly felt threatened. Make no mistake, Stefan loves Damon even when he hates him. They are brothers and will forever be linked by blood. But the man can be such a psychopath. He never does anything for the right reasons, at least not anymore. Maybe when they were human and actually enjoyed each other's company.

Stefan can remember a time when Damon was his best friend and his presence was a blessing. Now, the older Salvatore only brings pain and death with him. An eternity of misery and all that. Although Stefan has to admit, Damon's obsession with Elena seems to bring out the best in his older brother. Granted, he isn't the man that taught Stefan how to ride a horse or shoot a rifle, but Damon isn't off killing innocent people every night either. Okay, maybe, once a week. Still, that's progress.

Despite the changes he's seen in this brother, Stefan's worst fear is that Damon's presence would affect Elena, that somehow he'd taint her. So far, his Elena has proven immune to Damon's charms for the most part. In the beginning, she'd made friends with him, which amazed Stefan. When Damon self-destructed after discovering Katherine's betrayal, Elena's kindness inspired Stefan to hope again. Maybe he could have his big brother back someday.

Then Damon killed Jeremy and earned the top spot on Elena's shit list. Stefan was pretty certain that his idiot brother had burned that bridge forever. Then a two-hundred-year-old vampiric version of Elena shows up that seems to have forgiven Damon all his current and future misdeeds. Stefan is convinced that it has something to do with Elena's memory loss. The compulsion obviously included memories of Damon, which makes sense if she wanted to completely forget about Stefan and their life together up until that point. Since his arrival in Mystic Falls, Damon has forced his way into their lives, and Stefan doesn't foresee that changing anytime soon. Honestly, as aggravating as Damon has been recently, he doesn't want his big brother to leave. He doesn't want him to stay either.

Stefan tries to stay calm about the fact that, so far, all of Elena's recovered memories seem to about Damon. He reminds himself that it's okay and expected for his girlfriend to have memories of his brother and for her to have compelled them away along with her memories of Stefan after he died. It'd just be nice if at least one of her memory strikes were about him. After two hundred years together, you'd think Elena would focus more on the man she loves than on his brother. Again, he wonders if Damon took advantage of the clean slate her compulsion provided. But that was two hundred years ago. If Elena destroyed all the memories of Damon two hundred years ago, and they are still friends today, then Damon would've had to maintain the friendship. He would've had to been on his best behavior for two centuries. That's an interesting theory, considering how quickly he torpedoed his relationship with present day Elena. Could Damon maintain the good guy act for that long?

"Is Damon different in the future?" Stefan yells over the road noise.

Both Elenas look up at him in surprise. The human glances back at the vampire for an answer. She considers the question for a moment before answering with a nod.

"Yes, of course. We've all changed, Stefan."

"For the better?"

"Mostly."

"What do you mean? Aren't you happy?" human Elena asks, and her vampire version in the back seat offers a half smile.

"Life isn't perfect. We've all had our ups and downs, and for the Salvatore clan, it's been mostly up. We're…" her smile falters as a memory flashes across her mind, but Elena clamps down on the painful emotions it stirs and locks them away. "We're lucky in that regard."

Stefan and Elena glance at each other in the front seat with small shy smiles. 'Salvatore', she mouths to him and squeezes his hand in hers. Stefan's anxieties dry up when a tiny thrill races up his spine at the thought of Elena taking his name in marriage.

A few minutes later, they arrive at the Gilbert house. As the car pulls into the driveway, Elena stares up at the familiar house. Taking deep breath, she braces for the emotional turmoil about to beset her and steps out of the car. Stefan and his girlfriend are quick to reach the porch and head inside, but Elena takes her time. Her vampire vision allows her to stare through the darkness at the front yard and small tree next to the sidewalk.

Happy memories of summer days with Jeremy and her parents dance across her mind and a powerful warmth blooms within her chest. The corners of her mouth turn upward at the image of a nine-year-old Elena wearing a white Sunday dress and screaming at Jeremy for pushing her down into the dirt. Bonnie runs past them in shorts, tagging Jeremy as 'it' and disrupting Elena's rant. Caroline stomps her foot on the bottom step of the porch with her arms crossed and demands Bonnie and Elena listen to her instructions on how to properly tie a ribbon into a bow, so that they can all wear matching hair bows to church. Elena and Jeremy's parents hurry to load the car seats and supplies for four children into the SUV, but Miranda takes a moment to smile and role her eyes at her daughter's escalating fit over her dirty dress.

Elena almost giggles at the thought of her friends and family, but a small drop of sadness seeps into her warm chest at the thought of never seeing most of them again. She'd come to terms with that reality a long time ago. Jeremy and Bonnie had wonderfully full lives, and while her parents' lives were cut tragically short, they'd want her to be happy and not let their loss destroy her. So Elena unabashedly enjoys the reminder of her human life. It's the similarities of this life to another spent here in Mystic Falls along with Damon that causes Elena's unease. Even now, as she remembers this one summer day as a human, she's reminded of the precious few spent in a second house built on this plot. A house Damon built for her.

She refuses to let the memory invade her mind, the memory of Damon grumbling about having to go to church as he straps in car seats. Elena tosses a bag filled with toys and snacks into the back and reminds her husband that next week will be Stefan and Caroline's turn to wrangle the munchkins for church. She glances back at the house as the Salvatore children run screaming and giggling like wild women around a much older tree in their front yard. She swells with love for her tight-nit family and the unexpected additions. In that moment, Elena is the happiest she's ever been in over 150 years of existence.

As happy as she is in the memory, Elena can't allow her mind to relive it. Instead, she stuffs it away behind a wall designed to keep the negative emotions at bay. Good memories like that one can't be enjoyed without dragging out the bad ones. And it's the bad memories that will send Elena running for the cold relief that only her humanity switch can provide.

Dodging the memories of her life in the house that Damon built her, Elena focuses on the memories of this house. At least the ones that weren't compelled away. Of course, had she stuck to the plan, Elena would've already vamp-sped away into the night avoiding this emotional battle. But she's determined to get her lost memories back. Maybe the memory that Damon compelled away in her room will be the trigger that breaks the entire compulsion, and all of Elena's lost memories will return. Besides, how awesome would it be to tell Damon that she broke the compulsion? He's going to be so happy with her, so grateful, so overcome with desire for her…he'll kiss her deeply in that sexy, rough way that drives her crazy…then, he'll pin her against the wall…And now she's lost in her imagination with a dazed look on her face.

"Elena?" Stefan says at her side, and she jumps. He places a comforting hand on her shoulder to ease her tension, but frowns in confusion at the blush spreading across Elena's face. Stefan remembers the emotional toll of seeing his human home after a century as a vampire, so he was prepared for Elena's struggle. Her sudden increase in breathing and heart rate was expected, but the blush wasn't.

"I'm fine." Her eyes flare with embarrassment, and she speaks up so her counterpart can her hear from the porch. "I just haven't seen this house in a so long, I'm feeling nostalgic."

"There's no rush. Come inside when you're ready. Jenna and Jeremy will be back from the movie soon, probably with Alaric," human Elena says. "I'm sure you're going to want to seem them anyway."

Vampire Elena flashes a fake smile to hide her dread at meeting her dead family. No, that absolutely will not happen, but there's no need to say it. Instead, Elena nods her head and joins her younger doppelgänger on the porch, along with Stefan.

"I just have to figure out a way to explain everything to Jenna," human Elena says as the night air starts to hum with the magic of the doppelgängers, and she rushes to open the door.

Vampire Elena follows Stefan and his girlfriend into the house. "Don't worry, Jenna will handle it surprisingly well. At least, she did in my world, and she didn't find out under the best circumstances. I regret not telling her sooner."

"Do you think telling her about…" human Elena struggles for the right word to describe the strange quality her life has recently developed. "…everything is a good idea?"

"Yes."

Vampire Elena's confidence helps to soothe human Elena's anxiety about telling her aunt. Perhaps introducing Jenna to a vampire version of her niece, who is from the future, will be easier than she anticipates.

Vampire Elena point points upstairs toward her room. "Come on, we have some memories to reclaim."

Stefan glances around the hall as something tugs at his awareness. He frowns at the empty doorway leading to the kitchen and inches closer. He listens for any tell tales signs that someone is hiding in the kitchen or living room, but he hears nothing. He finds the kitchen and living room empty when he turns the corner. Unsatisfied, Stefan performs a quick walk through, but again he finds nothing. Still, something is off, and it bothers him. But an annoyed question from his girlfriend has Stefan rushing back to her side in outrage.

"Wait, whatever Damon compelled me to forget happened in my room?!"

"Sort of," vampire Elena says with her back against the front door in effort to keep the energy charging up around them from destroying her childhood home. A few steps closer could send the silent buzz that tingles along her skin into a destructive act of God . "Except, the memory we're looking for hasn't happened to you yet. Damon said that he only compelled you one time."

"The night you met," Stefan says.

"To be clear, my Damon, I mean the Damon from this world, he has not compelled me to forget something that happened with him in my room?" Human Elena asks.

"Right."

"But he will. And the Damon from your world already has." Stefan says. Human Elena is too preoccupied with her own worries to notice the dangerous undertone in Stefan's clenched jaw and furled brow. Vampire Elena, given her two hundreds years as Stefan's sister-in-law, spots up the signs of his outrage.

"Yes, but whatever he compelled me to forget came back to me during my transition, and I forgave him for whatever it was he was hiding," she says.

"What about for messing with your mind?" human Elena points out. She's not happy about the idea of Damon compelling any version of her. But with a resigned sigh, she turns and motions for the two vampires to follow her upstairs.

"How do you know that you forgave him? Maybe he just told you that you did," Stefan says as they step into Elena's room.

"What, you think I would've taken Damon at his word? The man killed my brother. In the beginning, I verified every word he said with you and Caroline. And Bonnie, of course."

"After the mind wipe, you didn't trust him?" Stefan's confusion deepens when Elena shakes her head no.

Human Elena takes a deep breath before nodding at her counterpart. "We're here, so let's do this."

Even across the room, the doppelgänger magic is brimming, and she can fill the air ripple around her. She looks at Stefan, expecting to find some comfort and assurance in his green gaze, but he seems lost in his own thoughts. She wonders if he's worried about her or Damon. Probably both. As much as he denies it, even to himself, Elena knows that Stefan loves his brother. And Damon loves him too. That much she knows for certain.

"You got it," vampire Elena says and vamp-speeds to her counterparts side. She latches onto the younger doppelgänger's arm before the power in the air has a chance to manifest into something dangerous.

Stefan disappears, and Damon stands at the window watching the night sky. He's quiet and contemplative as he leans against the window with his right hand. Looking around, Elena finds the remaining room empty, but she can hear the faucet running in the bathroom through the open door. She looks to her vampiric counterpart for answers.

"Is this it?"

"No," vampire Elena says as she stares at Damon's back. She notes his tense muscles under his black t-shirt and the high tilt of his head, a tell-tale sign that he's listening for the faucet to stop.

"This is different. Stefan was gone all summer…"

"All summer? Why? Where was he?" Human Elena wonders if this is the summer that Stefan spent drowning in the quarry. A terrible dread like a marble of molten lead forms in her stomach, and she silently promises that her Stefan will never suffer that fate.

"I was trying to find him, and I talked Ric into helping. Damon wouldn't help. Or he couldn't." Elena places a hand to her head and tries to see past the fog of Ric's compulsion to no avail. "I don't know. I can't remember that part. I just know something happened tonight and Damon was there, even though he didn't want to be. I think he was scared."

"Damon was scared?" Human Elena repeats as though the idea were ludicrous. "I didn't know that was possible."

"I think he was scared for me. That's what I'm in there thinking right now. I'm mostly disappointed because we didn't find Stefan, but I'm also mad that Damon was right. He didn't want us going out there because it was too dangerous. It was a long shot that almost got all three of us eaten by a werewolf."

The faucet in the bathroom stops, then Elena exits with a towel draped over her shoulder. Her frustration with the day is written all over her face. The moment she sees Damon, she stops mid-step and sighs.

"Seriously?"

Damon smirks at the greeting, but keeps his back to her so she can't see. It doesn't matter anyway, since the small smile is gone an instant later. As much as he'd enjoy teasing Elena right now, he can't. She may not remember his last visit to this room, but he certainly does. Telling her how he felt was one of the most difficult things he's ever had to do, but it was also the most cathartic. Of course, it helped to know she wouldn't remember afterward. At least he thinks it helped. Sometimes Damon isn't so sure.

Right now, Stefan the Saint is applying for the title of Mother Teresa. His martyrdom has now reached an all-time high. Naturally, Damon must step in and keep the idiot from ruining his life. Or at least, Elena's life. Yeah, yeah, Stefan is out there keeping Klaus off Elena's trail, but he'll be damned if Damon is going to let his little brother pay for his mistakes. He's the one that got himself bitten by a werewolf. It should be him running around after werewolves in the name of Klaus, not Stefan. Stefan should be here with Elena. Instead, he's playing the martyr, and he's damn good at it. For a while, Stefan even had Damon convinced that he'd flipped the switch and gone full ripper. Damn him.

"I was wrong."

Elena frowns and takes an uneasy step closer to the vampire. She can't remember a time when Damon admitted such a thing. Why would he ambush her in her room just to say he was wrong? And wrong about what? Elena remembers the last time he was in her room and wonders at Jeremy's whereabouts. She can't remember if he's home or out with friends. Last time. Damon was drunk and upset. This time, he doesn't seem drunk, but the man has the tolerance of a catfish. And he seems uncharacteristically somber.

"Are you drunk?"

"No," Damon says with a snide look over his shoulder at her. He wishes he were drunk. Life seems easier when the edges are dulled with bourbon. Alas, keeping Elena alive is a full time job now a days, and he doesn't have time to indulge. At least not tonight. Elena relaxes a smidgen at his response and pulls the towel from her shoulders as he turns to face her.

"I thought Stefan was gone, but I was wrong."

"You saw him out there?" Elena tosses the towel onto her bed. "Damon is he okay?"

"No, he's not okay, Elena. He's an insufferable martyr that needs his ass kicked. But he can be saved."

"What happened out there? What changed your mind?"

"I changed my mind because, even in his darkest place, my brother still can't let me die. So I figure I owe him the same in return. I'll help you bring him back."

Elena watches Damon confess the truth of what she already knows. Of course Stefan would never let his brother die. The same goes for Damon. As much these boys fight and declare their hatred for each other, they are still and will forever be brothers. But she's glad to see Damon accept this truth and to hear him vow to help her.

"Thank you."

"But before I do, I need you to answer one questio." Damon steps closer to her. She bites her lip, reaching for the towel, but nods, and he continues. "What made you change your mind?"

"What do you mean?" Elena asks, fidgeting with the towel. For some reason, the question made her uneasy. Damon wouldn't hinge his vow to save his brother on the answer of a meaningless question. But it seems so simple and innocent, too innocent.

"You were so hell-bent on staying on that mountain, and you just gave up. So what changed your mind?"

She scoffs at him. "We were under attack, Damon."

"You had a bag full of weapons and a teacher with an eternity ring. You could've kept going."

"It was too dangerous," Elena says, throwing down the towel.

"It was too dangerous going out there to begin with. So what was it?"

"Why are you being like this?"

"What changed your mind, Elena?" Damon steps closer. His piercing blue gaze stabs at her soul, and she can't help but reveal the truth. A truth that she didn't even realize she was hiding. It's difficult at first, almost catching in her throat, then it spills out.

"I didn't want to see you get hurt, okay. I was…" She pauses as she realizes what she's saying, and Damon seems to finally accept the truth of her answer. This is the answer he wanted all along. "I was worried about you."

Having heard what he wanted, Damon flashes a smile and casually says his thanks before making a beeline for the door. Frustrated with the uninvited emotional probe, Elena fights back with her own question.

"Yes, I worry about you. Why do you even have to hear me say it?"

Damon stops in the doorway and turns to face her as though the question were absurd. He can see her struggle to reconcile her feelings for him and her love for Stefan. His probing managed to pull things out of their tidy little boxes within her heart, and her mind is struggling to fix it. But Damon doesn't want it fixed. He wants to upheaval the whole damn system.

"Because when I drag my brother from the edge and deliver him back to you," he says in a deep, enticing voice as he steps close. He slips his hands over each side of her neck and jaw, letting his thumbs tease against her cheeks. "I want you to remember the things you felt while he was gone."

Caught off guard by his touch and nearness, Elena is barely able to breath under his scrutiny. How can a girl be expected to survive under the allure of his gaze? She looks away from his clear blue eyes to the soft curve of his lips, but that only makes things worse. He shouldn't make her feel this way. She loves his brother. She loves Stefan.

Damon watches her struggle. He considers pushing her further with a kiss, but that would be too far. As tantalizing as her pouty lips and encouraging as her sudden spike in heart rate is, Damon only spends a moment holding her and stroking her cheek with his thumbs before he lets his hands slip away from the grace of God that is her face. He slips closer, imagining what his lips against hers would feel like, then he steps away.

"Good night, Elena." Damon leaves, passing Alaric in the hallway with a nod and a bid farewell. Ric is surprised to find him exiting Elena's bedroom so late, and she fidgets at his pointed glance.

"You know what you're doing there?" He asks her.

"No, I don't," she says. After closing her bedroom door, Elena sits on her bed in a daze as a storm of emotion whirls inside.

"Where's Stefan?" human Elena asks, and the vampire turns from memory Elena to face her outraged counterpart. Human Elena has obviously decided to ignore Damon's alluring behavior and focus on whom their memory version should also be focus.

"He's off the wagon and running around the country with Klaus," vampire Elena says.

"What? No, you're lying. Stefan wouldn't do that. He wouldn't leave me."

"He did it to save Damon's life." Vampire Elena tucks a stray strand of short brown hair behind her ear. "I don't remember the details, but I know Stefan leaving was Damon's fault."

Human Elena crosses her arms and stares at memory Elena still sitting on her bed, now with her hands covering her face in consternation. It bothers her to great end that a future version of her is letting Damon affect her this much. He's clearly taking advantage of the fact that Stefan is gone. He's trying to manipulate, or seduce, her into caring for him. He wants her to bend in her loyalty to Stefan. Then why didn't he kiss her?

Memory Elena obviously wanted him to. Anyone could see her reaction to him. But he chose to walk away instead. Why? He didn't mind kissing her, when he thought Katherine was Elena. Did this Damon learn not to cross those lines? Does that mean her Damon has or will learn the same thing? This Damon isn't shy about demanding emotional confessions from this Elena. It's like he knew what she was feeling before she did, and he wanted her to acknowledge it rather than pretend it didn't exist. Elena wonders if that's something she does in her reality. Does she pretend feelings and emotions away rather than dealing with them? No, definitely not. She'd know if she felt anything for Damon, but she doesn't. Because she's in love with Stefan.

"Stefan, come home to me," memory Elena whispers from her bed. The memory fades and reality returns.

Vampire Elena watches her memory version disappear, reveling in the emotions swirling around her like a fine wine. She's amazed at how confused and guilty Damon made her feel. She doesn't remember the struggle of originally falling in love with him, only the post-memory-wipe love story. It seems like falling in love with Damon a second time was easy compared to the first. Everyone accepted and even encouraged their coupling. Stefan had already moved on, eventually setting his eyes on Caroline.

Elena remembers asking Stefan if she had betrayed him with Damon. He'd given her a simple no as an answer and smiled reassuringly. She doesn't remember their break up in detail, but she remembers the broken trust and their inability to rebuild what was lost that led to it. The next few weeks are hazy in her mind, but there's something about the cure and the sire bond. She very clearly remembers every moment with her humanity off, which makes sense, sort of. She didn't care for anything or anyone during that time, so there wouldn't have been any good memories of Damon to erase. Now, the sire bond is an entirely different mess. Elena's memories seem to be heavily influenced by the compulsion during her days sired to Damon. What she remembers is tied to blaming everything on the sire bond, but Caroline and Bonnie assured her that her feelings were never affected it. Even though everything she remembers argues against their claim, Elena believed her friends.

Analyzing the tangled ball of yarn that is her memory version's emotions is easy compared to the hurricane she prefers to dodge now-a-days. Elena can pinpoint the tangled knot that is her deep affection for Damon, although a thick strand of guilt is woven around it. Her love for Stefan is still strong and at the center of a web of loyalty and desire, but a small whisper of anger weaves through the giant ball, almost unnoticed. She's mad that Stefan left her, but won't admit it. Elena can't help but admire the complicated life she once led. At the very least, today she knows without a doubt that she loves Damon and cares for Stefan like a brother.

As reality resets, Elena finds Stefan sitting impatiently on her bed. When human Elena notices him, she sits beside him with a sigh of relief. Her smile is big and appreciative before she kisses him. He raises an eyebrow, but wraps his arms around her.

"I missed you," she says.

"That must have been some memory," Stefan says. "What did Damon do that he didn't want you to remember?"

"We don't know, yet," vampire Elena says. "It wasn't the right memory."

"How many memories do you have of Damon in your room?"

"Are you jealous?" Elena giggles from within Stefan's embrace. "Don't worry. We were talking about you."

"What about me?" Stefan asks, his mood changing fast at the sound of his girlfriend's happy tone. He smiles as he looks into her big brown eyes.

Elena watches the two make eyes at each other, and the corners of her mouth turn up. There was a time that she truly loved Stefan, and it's nice revisiting that feeling, but it's nothing compared to the love she has for Damon. Her relationship with Stefan was young and naïve. It was puppy love. No, it was deeper than that, but it was based on a shallow perception of each other. Elena wanted the hero Stefan that brought her back to life after her parent's deaths. She was drawn to his strength of character and selflessness. Her first exposure to Stefan's ripper side was eye-opening and horrific, but she always had faith that he'd return to himself and be the man she loved. By the time he managed it, he'd shattered the trust she held in him. Perhaps if they'd been able to forget the world and focus on rebuilding their relationship, they'd have rebuilt the trust that was destroyed. Instead, the trials of their life in Mystic Falls hammered away at the weak link in their relationship until it gave way. She doesn't remember what kept her from falling to pieces after that. There was something, or someone, that held her together. At least until Katherine killed Jeremy. Nothing could've kept her together after that. Up until then, it must have been Damon that kept her centered, right? Otherwise she'd remember.

As she watches the two lovers whisper sweet nothings to each other, Elena can't help but wonder how things will play out in this world. More importantly, how did they play out in her world? She places a hand on her counterpart's shoulder despite the lack of energy bubbling around them.

Human Elena straightens but remains on the bed. "What are you doing?"

"Just trying to move things along."

"Why didn't it work?" Stefan asks, looking around for any surprise lightening strikes or tornadoes that might destroy the house.

"It takes a moment for the energy to rebuild," vampire Elena says and then nods when the air starts to hum. "There it goes. I want to try something this time. I think it will help speed up this process. Maybe we can find that key memory that will break the entire compulsion."

"Okay, what do you want to do?"

The vampire places her hands on either side of human Elena's face and concentrates. She pulls the human into her mind, and the younger doppelgänger gasps at the sensation. Stefan frowns as he watches the odd scene. He isn't certain what's going on, but that nagging sensation returns. Something is wrong.

"How long before it's strong enough to…"

Elena blinks, and Stefan is gone. Damon is back, and this time, the older Salvatore is stretched across one side of Elena's bed. He lies on top of the blankets, fully clothed, with Elena's favorite teddy bear snuggled next to his side.

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