A/N - and I made it! Hope y'all enjoy! xoxo - tmtcltb
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Ch. 22 - Bent Not Broken
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"Good morning Commander and Mrs. Green." The plump woman in a pink suit was smiling, but Kara's stomach sunk. The smile was pinched, forced, not the kind that would indicate - as Elena had reassured Kara only the night before - that this meeting was merely a formality. Or, as Tex put it, a way to make sure that she and Danny were neither serial killers nor child sex traffickers. No, one look at Ms. Alexandria Guy and Kara knew that today was not going to be an easy, check-the-box first step that would help ease them into the complex adoption process.
"Good morning, Ms. Guy. Please come in," Danny began ushering the woman towards the living room. "But it's actually Commander Foster. Kara didn't change her name."
Wincing, Kara followed them down the hall. Normally she would have appreciated Danny correcting the mistake, one that had been the source of constant annoyance for the past two weeks. As Kara grumbled more than once, why was it never Commander and Mr. Foster? But not today. Today Kara didn't want to do a single thing that might rock the boat. Even if it meant becoming Mrs. Green rather than Captain Foster for the afternoon - or even until the day the adoption was finalized.
"I see." Ms. Guy sat down in the middle of the couch, leaving only the chair that sat near the fireplace. Danny waved Kara towards it, moving to stand behind her.
"Please, call me Kara. Would you like something to drink?" Kara asked, trying to calm her nerves and, hopefully, smooth over any tension. She reminded herself that placing children was the goal of the foundation so whether Ms. Guy liked them or not didn't really matter. All that they needed to do was have Ms. Guy confirm the information in their written application and check that their house passed inspection.
Kara hadn't been overly worried about the house inspection, Tex and Danny having spent the last week installing all of the latches and locks and required safety equipment. As for their application itself, with a little help from Val in obtaining various official forms, Kara managed to gather the requested information within a week. In a stroke of luck, Mrs. Ebu, the head of the Foundation, happened to call a day later to give Kara the final amounts collected at the fundraiser. The woman had been delighted by Kara's news, assuring Kara that she would do everything possible to expedite their application. And while Kara suspected that Mrs. Ebu's delight had more to do with wanting Kara's help with future fundraisers than anything else, she had accepted Mrs. Ebu's offer with gratitude.
Which brought them to today.
Fill out application. Check.
Pass criminal background check. Check.
Demonstrate financial ability to support children at issue. Check.
Provide three personal references. Check.
Pass initial interview and home inspection.
Kara hoped that Tex and Danny had checked every item on that home inspection list twice. Because whatever Elena and Andrea might have told them, Ms. Guy did not seem the type to shirk her duty in any way.
"Ice tea with extra ice, no lemon," Ms. Guy said, reminding Kara that she had, in fact, just offered the woman a drink.
Danny squeezed Kara's shoulder, obviously having picked up on her tension. "I'll get it."
They waited in silence for Danny to return. He passed Ms. Guy her drink before setting a kitchen chair next to Kara and sitting down. Ms. Guy glanced at the ice tea before setting it to the side without taking a sip. "My name is Alexandria Guy. I have been assigned to your adoption petition by the court. My role is to evaluate you as potential adoptive parents and ensure that your home is an appropriate environment for a child."
Kara attempted to relax as the woman spoke. This was all familiar, exactly what Elena said to expect. Perhaps Kara's initial feeling had been simply the result of nerves and the unfortunate timing of this visit, a fact that both Danny and Kara had been deliberately ignoring for the last week.
Ms. Guy continued. "I see that your paperwork has all been submitted and that you both passed your background checks. That is good. I also have paychecks for the past two months, as well as year end financials. I noticed that the two of you recently married?"
"Yes," Kara was the one to answer. "We were married two weeks ago, although we have known each other for more than five years."
Ms. Guy flipped a page. "I'm aware of your ... situation." She looked up, eyes pinning Kara. "What is your plan for childcare should you both be deployed, Captain Foster?"
From the way that Danny's jaw tightened, the tone wasn't lost on him. Kara reached out to cover Danny's hand with her own. "Kenneth and Andrea Nolan have agreed to watch the girls. They are qualified foster parents."
"Mmmm," Ms. Guy paused. "While that's true, my understanding is that Mr. Nolan and Commander Green are part of the same team and would likely be deployed at the same time."
Damn. Kara had been hoping that little fact would slide under the radar. Figuring out secondary care for the girls had been one of the hardest parts of the process. Not because people were unwilling, but because so many of them were military. But no harm, she had the next answer ready. "In such an event, my mother and her fiancé will watch the girls."
Ms. Guy flipped more pages. "That would be Deborah Foster and Peter Frederick? I see that Ms. Foster has a criminal record..."
Kara blinked, unable to stop her reaction. "What?"
Danny spoke as well. "I think there must be some sort of mistake..."
"Drunk and disorderly conduct. Assault on a police officer. Charges dismissed due to," Ms. Guy looked up, her eyes scathing, and then back down, "pregnancy and related emotional distress due to the death of a spouse."
"But that..." Kara was the first to recover. "You're talking about events that occurred over thirty years ago. My father died in an oil rig explosion. I'm sure you can understand that it was a shock to my mother. So any ... inappropriate behavior won't be repeated now."
Although her first phone call when this was over would be to her mother to ask what the hell Debbie was thinking not telling Kara about her criminal past. For fuck's sake, Debbie knew that Kara excluded Alisha and Val as potential guardians specifically because Val had a dozen or so arrests in her past, despite the fact that all were related to non-violent political protests.
"That may be," Ms. Guy replied, her voice patronizing. "But it obviously casts some doubt on their qualifications as guardians should something happen to the two of you. Now, I see that you have an alternative choice."
"That would be Michael and Christine Slattery," Danny interjected. Despite her spinning head, Kara found herself perking up, glad that Danny suggested Mike as their third option. Although Kara wasn't particularly close to Christine, neither hesitated when asked and, best of all, there couldn't possibly be fault with the Slatterys - who had the benefit of a twenty-year marriage and the experience of having four children of their own.
"Both appear to be qualified. However, as the Secretary of the Navy Captain Slattery is a high priority target, placing the children there creates a security concern," Ms. Guy noted. "But, if that's all you have..."
Ms. Guy let the words hang as Kara searched her mind for anyone they knew who weren't military, had no possibility of a criminal record, and would not be a high priority target. She glanced at Danny, seeing the way his jawline had tightened.
"Admiral Tom Chandler and his wife Sasha Cooper," Danny blurted. "Sasha is not on active status and the Admiral has retired so there are no longer security concerns."
Kara fought to keep her shock from her face. Tom's "retirement" was a source of much amusement among the crew given that he still worked more than most people any of them knew. Plus, Kara knew perfectly well that Sasha intended to go back to active status as soon as she was deemed physically fit. Besides which, there was no way that "the man who saved the world" wasn't a high priority target.
What the hell was Danny thinking?
"I see." Ms. Guy paused, apparently unable to bring herself to find fault with the man who did, after all, save the world. Perhaps Danny was on to something there. The woman stood abruptly. "I'm ready to see the house now."
The tour went as badly as Kara expected, as Ms. Guy objected to the size of the bedrooms that Kara planned for the girls, to both the lack of security and the presence of a gun, to the state of the fencing in the yard, to their proximity to a small lake, and even the number of chairs at the kitchen table. Still, Kara managed to hold it together until they were reseated in the living room.
"The last issue to discuss is your reason for adoption," Ms. Guy began. Again she fluttered through her paperwork. "I understand that you had a miscarriage, Commander Foster."
Kara felt her throat tighten. Not now. Not today. She pushed aside the thought. "Yes, after my participation in the vaccination trial."
Ms. Guy made a note. "So your decision to adopt is due to infertility issues?"
"Partially," Kara replied, hesitating only slightly. After all, it wasn't incorrect. "Meeting Stella and Delilah and getting to know them cemented an idea that we previously discussed."
"And who was the father?" Ms. Guy continued as though Kara hadn't spoken. Kara felt the bile in her stomach churning and, for an instant, thought she might actually throw up. Absolutely none of this had been on the application paperwork.
"I was," Danny said softly, his hand reaching for Kara's, clenched on the side of her chair.
"Do you also suffer from fertility issues, Commander Green?" The woman continued, as though she wasn't in the process of asking them about one of the worst moments in their life.
Still, Danny managed to respond calmly. "We don't know the cause of the prior miscarriage. Paternal issues certainly could have been a factor."
Kara glanced at him quickly, startled by the answer. What was Danny talking about? But before she could complete the thought, Ms. Guy was speaking again. "Do the two of you intend to have biological children?"
"No." Danny's answer was certain, unhesitant. It was what they had decided - what they wanted. And yet...Kara felt a pang of regret, of hurt, wondering whether that door truly was completely closed... She squeezed her eyes shut for just a second, remembering that today, of all days, was not the time to be thinking about this. She forced herself to focus on the task at hand.
Ms. Guy flipped her folder shut. "That completes this portion of the interview. To be perfectly clear, I see many issues here. Many issues. I will be following up with my supervisor and issue a report with my recommendations. You should have that within the next week."
The words were like a punch to the gut, Kara uncertain how she managed to stand. To walk Ms. Guy to the door. To get back to the kitchen without collapsing in a pile of goo. She had thought that she was prepared for any possibility, but she had been lying to herself.
She wasn't prepared to lose the girls because of a damn bureaucrat.
Danny followed Kara to the kitchen, clearly seething, waiting only for the sound of a car starting before grabbing his phone. "Many issues, my ass. There are no fucking issues. That woman had it out for us from the start. I'm calling Tex right now."
He disappeared into the other room, his voice fading into the background as Kara stared at her hands. Considering the life that only weeks ago had seemed so full of promise.
Her dream job.
Wonderful friends.
A man she loved.
And two little girls to round it out.
What had made her think that she could have it all? What made her think that this was her decision, rather than a simple role of the dice? A tear rolled down Kara's cheek as she pictured Stella and Delilah when they sat them down last weekend to ask if they would be interested in coming to live with them permanently. Wishing that she could erase the joy on Stella's face, the sound of Delilah calling her mama.
A life that was never meant to be.
Just like five years ago, when everything collapsed at her feet.
Kara rose, walking to the cabinet above the stove. Lifting down the small wooden crate, she carefully removed the contexts. Tracing the golden lines that glued the broken pieces of a Japanese tea bowl together with her finger, she recalled the day five years ago that it arrived in her office in St. Louis, weeks after they dealt with Shaw's attempted coup, the unsigned message in Danny's unmistakable scrawl.
Strength and beauty from destruction.
She had never acknowledged the gift, and Danny never asked about it. Just as she never mentioned the patched Hopi vase that arrived the next year. Or the teapot with a replacement silver spout that arrived the year after. Or the meticulously glued Roman carafe that arrived last year. Late, due to the crisis in South America.
Kara hadn't known her due date when she miscarried, finding it out only afterwards from her medical records. And until Danny's first gift arrived, she had thought that she was the only person who knew the day. Or, at least, the only one who remembered. And while Kara hated the thought of Danny hurting too, in the moment when she opened the tea bowl, she had felt a moment of happiness.
Because she wasn't the only one who cared.
Kara brushed a tear from her cheek as she finished unwrapping the carafe. Wetting a cloth to begin wiping away the fine layer of dust. A shuffle alerted her and she looked up to find Danny in the doorway, watching her, his eyes hooded.
He crossed the room, picking up the small tea bowl. "The Japanese call it kintsugi."
Kara cleared her throat. "It's beautiful. They all are."
"Wait right here." Danny disappeared down the hall and Kara did as she was told. He was back in less than a minute, holding a small blue cup. When he set it on the table with the others, Kara realized that it was actually a figure. Or, at least, a face. One with a large chip in the side that appeared to be re-glazed.
She lifted it up. "What is it?"
"A Marajoara urn," Danny explained. "They lived in northern Brazil pre-Columbus."
She smiled as her fingers traced the figure's full lips and closed eyes. She spoke without looking up. "Do you ever ... imagine what it would be like? If we had a five year old right now, I mean? If instead of meeting with Ms. Guy today we were having a birthday party?"
The silence stretched, but Kara stayed quiet. Not wanting to pressure him into talking. Wanting to give him the same space that he had always given her.
"Not so much anymore," Danny admitted. He picked up the Hopi vase. "At the beginning I used to think about it a lot. How different our lives would have been. How a baby would have changed things, especially between us. How we would have gotten married, be a family. I don't think about that stuff much anymore but today, yeah. I wonder what he or she would have been like."
"I sometimes picture him," Kara admitted.
"Him?" Danny asked, moving around the table before cautiously wrapping his arms around her. Giving Kara plenty of time to pull away.
She set down the urn, leaning her head against his chest. "Sometimes I see a girl. But most of the time I imagine a boy who looks just like his daddy."
"Funny," Danny mumbled, resting his chin on her head. "I always thought that it was a girl. I think that's what first drew me to Stella actually. She's kind of like what I think our daughter might have been like."
Kara felt a rush of tears at the mention of Stella's name. "I should have known better than to schedule the appointment today. It was a bad sign but I just didn't want to delay anything. Maybe if I had... Do you think that she can really stop the adoption?"
"You didn't do anything wrong, Kara," Danny replied, tugging her closer. "Tex said Ms. Guy is a total nutjob. He doesn't know how she managed to get assigned to the file but he and Andrea already talked to Mrs. Ebu and she's going to try pulling some strings to get us a new coordinator. I also talked to Mike. He's apparently mortally offended that he was deemed an insufficient guardian and plans to take up the issue with the President."
Kara snorted. As if Mike was truly offended. Clearly it was a ploy but...Kara wasn't going to turn down the help. "I'll say thank you the next time I see him. You should probably also warn Tom and Sasha that Ms. Guy might call. I don't think Tom is going to be thrilled that we volunteered him to take on two more kids."
"Already done," Danny replied. His hand stroked up and down her back. "Sasha wasn't worried about it. She claims she could ask Tom to go get her the moon right now and he would do it. He's being that overbearing."
Frowning, Kara raised her head. "Is there...a problem?"
"With Sasha you mean?" Danny asked. At Kara nod, he chuckled. "No. According to Sasha, everything is going well. She's sixteen weeks now and the baby looks good on ultrasound. I think Tom just worries. This wasn't their first attempt, you know. The other ones didn't stick."
Kara dropped her head back to Danny's chest. Trying to imagine going through the entire IVF process, only to find out that it didn't work and that the only option was to try again, and then again. How hard that would have been for Sasha - and for Tom. "I don't think that I could do that."
"And we don't have to," Danny replied instantly. "This process might be bumpy but we'll get through it. We've got the entire Nathan James behind us. Ms. Guy has no idea who she messed with."
Leaning back, Kara gazed up at her husband. Wondering what she did to deserve a second chance with this man. She reached up, cupping his face. "Thank you."
Danny gazed down, the corner of his eyes crinkling. "For what?"
"For being you," she whispered. Then, ignoring his confusion, Kara pulled away. She looked down at the table, then back at Danny. "It seems silly to keep these beautiful artifacts in a box. What do you think about putting them on the bookcase in the living room?"
"I think," Danny replied, reaching out to squeeze her hand, "that I would like that. A lot."