A/N - I had this chapter written months ago. I've been impatiently waiting for the time to arrive to post it. And then the time came, and the chapter didn't work and I completely rewrote it. Such is the life of the fanfiction writer. LOL. xoxo - tmtcltb

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Ch. 24 - Bad Habits

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"Have fun!" Elena called as the girls tumbled out the door. Kara was turning to follow when Elena caught her arm. "This is for you."

Curiously, Kara took the thick envelope and pulled out the sheaf of paper.

Preliminary Order Approving Adoption Application for Stella Evelyn Magnolia (7) and Delilah Ruth Magnolia (3)...

She took a deep breath, not sure if the tears filling her eyes were from joy or relief or, most likely, a combination of both. She looked up. "Does this mean what I think?"

"Yup." Elena was beaming at her. "You'll get your official letter this week, but I wanted you to know that your application has been accepted. The next step is to start overnight visits and then there will be a court hearing in about a month to discuss a permanent placement. That's when the transition to the girls' new school and daycare begins, and we start increasing the lengths of each visit until the girls are primarily with you."

Kara glanced at the girls who were waiting, somewhat impatiently, by Kara's car. "I'd like to wait for Danny to get back so we can tell them together. Is that okay?"

"Of course." Elena fell in beside Kara as they headed towards the car. "I'm happy to provide guidance but you're their mother now, Kara, so it's your decision."

It's your decision.

Funny how she had never thought of it that way before, so caught up making sure that their application was accepted, in taking all the required steps, toeing the line, doing everything right - especially after the fiasco with Ms. Guy. And now, suddenly, she was going to be the person making all of the decisions. The thought was astounding.

And mildly terrifying.

Elena hesitated and Kara stopped walking, regarding the other woman warily. "What?"

"Currently the paperwork being submitted to the court is being sealed," Elena explained. "But the placement hearing is public. And that assumes you are able to keep the home visits quiet."

"Meaning the press will know," Kara said, her chest tightening. As she imagined a reporter following Stella on the way to school or sneaking into the daycare to snap a picture of Delilah, Kara realized that - as much as she hated the woman - Ms. Guy might have some valid concerns about high-profile targets. Here at the Howards, the girls were simply two children in a sea of faces. Once word got out that Danny and Kara were adopting them, Kara fully expected another media circus. And that sort of publicity would no doubt be scary for the girls. She considered options. "Divide and conquer.

"I'm sorry?" Elena asked, her confusion evident.

Resuming her path towards the car where Stella and Delilah were waiting, Kara explained. "Courtney and Rick Miller are expecting their first child any day. If we time the press releases correctly, the press will have to divide their attention between the adoption and the birth, which might be better for everyone. Plus, a scheduled press release will allow us to post security here and at the house in case of any problems."

"Divide and conquer." Elena nodded, her face relaxing now that her unpleasant news had been shared. "Makes sense to me."

Kara just hoped that it worked.

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Sitting next to Stella on the rather uncomfortable couch at the camp, Kara allowed her mind to drift. They were currently watching Finding Nemo, Stella having watched the movie so many times that she was reciting the dialogue as it was spoken. At least the child was no longer sulking. The weather was beautiful but Kara hadn't wanted to leave Stella outside while she got Delilah ready for her nap, not trusting the seven-year-old to resist the lure of the water, or leave Delilah in the cabin alone once she fell asleep, afraid that she would wake up crying and Kara wouldn't know. Kara slid an arm around Stella, giving the girl a quick hug.

Stella turned to give her a dazzling smile before returning her attention to the movie. "This is my favorite part!"

Since Stella had said that at least ten times since they started the movie forty-five minutes ago, Kara took it with a grain of salt. Instead, she imagined what it would be like if, in addition to Delilah sleeping in the bedroom, there was a baby.

A little boy with a dusting of sandy-blonde hair who would wake up and reach for her, all groggy and happy.

A little girl, one with hazel eyes and a serious expression, calling for mama.

Of course, realistically, Delilah would be four before any baby could arrive so she probably wouldn't be napping anymore. And that assumed everything went like clockwork this time, something Kara doubted given prior experience. Besides, Kara had spent enough time with Liam to realize that babies might sleep a lot, but they rarely slept much at one time. So moments like this, time alone with Stella, would be rare. There were reasons why people didn't have big families. Two children were plenty. The girls deserved their time and attention, without dividing it with a baby.

Wanting more than that felt... selfish.

Yet, other people did it. Mike and Christine had four surviving children and, besides the occasional complaint about having a tyrant for a father, the girls all seemed happy. Of course, Christine was a stay at home mother who could devote her time to her family. Kara, on the other hand, regularly was gone for months at a time.

She glanced down at Stella, chest suddenly tight, as she imagined missing birthdays and holidays. The first day of school. The first dance recital. Swim practice and homework and movie night.

A year ago if someone told her that she would be considering voluntarily stepping down as the Captain of the Nathan James, Kara would have laughed. She had worked hard, giving up everything else, to get where she was. She had earned that title. Now, though, Kara wondered whether the sacrifice was worth it. She would never leave the Navy completely, the idea of becoming a stay-at-home mother herself unimaginable, but she could take a command position like Andrea or Meylan. Or she could look into teaching. That would allow her to remain in Mayport most of the time, any required travel measured in weeks rather than months. Or she could look into teaching, Tom having seemed to enjoy his time at the Academy, although that raised concerns about whether Danny could relocate.

The loud knocking on the porch door startled Kara, her earlier conversation with Elena popping to the front of her mind. Had someone found them? Although the reporters had eased off in recent weeks as Danny and Kara did nothing more interesting than go back and forth to work, it was entirely possible that one could have followed her here. She had locked the porch door mostly to prevent the girls from slipping outside without her noticing while she was making lunch but now she was glad for the extra layer of protection.

Kara stood, pressing a kiss on Stella's head. "I'll go see who is here. You keep watching, okay?"

"Okay," Stella replied, her attention fully on the screen, too used to the comings and goings at the Howards' house to be distracted.

Kara eased towards the inside door, inching it open to try to catch a glimpse of the intruder, only to freeze as she recognized a very familiar profile. She swung the door open, staring at Danny. Taking in the clenched fists, tightened jaw ... and the exhaustion around his eyes. "Danny? What are you doing here? I thought you were in Mexico for another week."

"We got back an hour ago." Danny shrugged, raising an eyebrow. "Are you going to let me in?"

She blinked, feeling a surge of panic. She wasn't ready to see him, the realizations of the past few days too new. But, at the same time, how could she ask him to leave? They were a team. A family. She couldn't keep running away, brushing the problems under the rug, the way she always had. Kara pushed a loose strand of hair behind an ear as she opened the door. "Of course. Sorry. I was just surprised to see you. I thought maybe a reporter had found us and..."

"Danny! You're back!"

Having apparently realized who arrived, Stella came barreling past Kara to throw herself into Danny's arms. Danny scooped her up, a real smile crossing his face as he spun her in a circle. He set her back on the porch, looking her up and down. "I've been gone for two weeks and I swear that you grew an inch."

Stella giggled. "Kara said that I'm growing like a weed. Next week we're going to go shopping and pick out some new clothes for school. I'm going to be in second grade, you know."

Danny glanced at Kara, who nodded, and his face seemed to relax a tad. "Where's Delilah?"

Pulling herself together, Kara moved past Stella to lean up and give Danny a kiss on the cheek. He hesitated for a moment, studying her face, before his fingers found hers. She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "Del's sleeping but it's about time for her to get up if you want to wake her up. Then we can all have ice cream."

"Ice cream?" Stella asked, before turning and darting towards the small bedroom where Delilah was. "Del! Time for ice cream!"

Kara expected Danny to follow but instead he wrapped his arms around Kara, leaning down to press a kiss to her temple. "Is everything okay? I know that Andrea said not to worry but I could tell something was wrong and I thought that maybe there was another problem with the," Danny paused, glancing up to make sure that Stella wasn't nearby, "the adoption."

Tears pressing against her eyes, Kara pulled him down for a proper greeting. Relaxing against his solid frame. Thrilling in the familiar press of his lips against hers. Feeling some of her tension draining away simply due to his presence. "Everything is fine. Mike and Sasha came through. Our preliminary approval came through and Elena said we can start doing overnight visits. I was just waiting for you to get home to schedule the first one. I didn't want you to miss it."

But Danny didn't seem reassured. "So what's wrong, then?"

Kara opened her mouth to deny that anything was wrong. The last thing she wanted was to have this conversation now, with the girls here, ready to interrupt at any moment. But Andrea's words stuck in her head.

Talk to Danny, figure out what both of you want, and figure out a way to do it.

She sucked in a breath. "My period was late."

Shock crossed Danny's face and then he was pulling her to him for a crushing hug. "Oh, god Kara. You must have been terrified."

Kara managed to fight free enough to look up. "Actually, I wasn't. I was kind of..." Kara hesitated, struggling to find the words despite thinking about this conversation non-stop for the past two days. "I was scared but, more than that, I was ... hopeful. I could imagine what it would be like. I think I finally understand why Tom and Sasha kept trying."

The blank look on Danny's face was not encouraging and Kara tried not to feel a tiny bit of hurt. After all, the plan was never to have biological children. She was changing the rules on Danny and it wasn't fair to expect him to...

Danny cupped Kara's chin, his voice low, rough. "Are you saying that you want a baby, Kara?"

"I..." Lord this was hard. Looking him in the eyes, talking about something so very personal. "I think I might. If you do, that is. If we even can..."

"And you're sure this isn't because of Ms. Guy?" Danny pressed, his face unreadable.

Kara swallowed, understanding the real question. "This doesn't change anything about the girls. About our plans. This isn't Plan B."

His jaw tightened. "I don't want to lose you, Kara. I can't. Not again. Not when things are finally good."

The lump in her throat felt like it might choke her. She raised her hands to cup his cheeks, forcing him to meet her eyes. "That isn't going to happen. Okay?"

She let that hang there. Watching the cascade of emotions flitter across Danny's face. Hoping that he understood what she was saying - and all that she wasn't. Because she had done this. Pushing him away, refusing to talk to him, not giving them a chance. And telling herself that it was for his own good. Too raw to see how much she was hurting him.

After a minute Danny cleared his throat. "I know the name of Sasha's doctor. We could... That is... Maybe we should talk to someone before making any decisions. Get the intel."

Tears threatening to fall, Kara tugged him down for another kiss. Wrapping her arms around his neck. Feeling the thud of his heart through the layers of clothing. Sensing the tension that remained. Wishing that they were somewhere else, alone, and not having a rushed, hushed conversation on a borrowed porch. Wanting, more than anything to reassure him that this wasn't the beginning of the end, second time around. "I love you."

"I..."

But just then Stella reappeared, dragging a still half-asleep Delilah. "We're ready for ice cream now!" She narrowed her eyes at the sight of Danny with his arms around Kara. "Were you kissing? Kissing is gross."

Kara chuckled. "You won't think that in about ten years."

"Don't remind me," Danny groaned. With a last, undecipherable look at Kara, he turned to the girls. "Last person to the table is a rotten goose!"

Stella took off, leaving Delilah where she was, thumb in mouth, clearly not awake enough to appreciate what was happening. As Kara picked her up, Danny took two steps after Stella, only to pause. "Talk later?"

Kara nodded. "I promise."