A/N — a million apologies for not updating in so long. I am planning (hoping) to return to updating this once a week. Hopefully you all enjoy! xoxo — tmtcltb
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Chapter 26 — The Days are Long but the Years are Short
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Kara was sitting on the couch, staring at a report, when Danny stumbled into the living room. Delilah was sprawled across her lap, thumb half in her mouth. Danny pushed a hand through his hair. "Did you get any more sleep?"
Shifting to set the paperwork down on the coffee table, Kara sighed. "No. She crashed around five but every time I tried to move her, she started crying again. At least Stella is still sleeping."
"Coffee?" Danny asked. At Kara's nod, he disappeared into the kitchen and Kara allowed her eyes to drift closed for just a moment.
Letting Delilah sleep through dinner last night had definitely been a mistake, as Kara realized when they were woken up at 0200 by a wailing child. It took almost an hour to get Delilah calmed, and then she was wide-awake. At that point Kara sent Danny back to bed, settling on the couch with Delilah and flipping on the movie that she missed the night before, expecting Delilah would fall asleep the way she did for naps. Unfortunately, Delilah appeared to have gotten her second wind and had no interest in either sleeping or watching movies.
"Here you go."
Kara jerked at the quiet voice, realizing that she must have dozed off. Danny was holding a cup of steaming coffee and Kara reached for it automatically, only to draw her hand back as she remembered that she was holding Delilah. She couldn't hold boiling water over the child's head. What if Delilah rolled over and kicked the cup?
Apparently figuring out Kara's dilemma, Danny set both cups on the coffee table. "Let me get her."
Kara held her breath as Danny slipped his hands under Delilah, lifting the child onto his shoulder in a single movement. They both waited, but Delilah only curled in closer. Danny frowned, then looked up. "Should I take her back to bed?"
"Probably not a good idea," Kara made a face. "Can you hold her?"
"Sure." Danny flashed Kara a grin as he settled into one of the chairs. "Although I should have chugged the rest of my coffee."
Kara rose, tucking a blanket around Delilah, her hand lingering on the child's soft hair. She returned to the couch, lifting her coffee and taking a large gulp. "What time is it?"
"0730." Danny's eyes moved to the paperwork spread across the couch and coffee table. "Did you get anything done?"
"Not really," Kara conceded. "I wasn't concentrating. I'll have to work tonight or tomorrow night after we drop the girls off at the Howards or else Monday will be a train wreck."
Danny hesitated, and Kara could tell that he was trying to decide whether to say whatever he was thinking. She lifted her coffee cup again, sending up a prayer of thanks for caffeine. "Spill already."
"Sasha called."
Kara felt her heart drop. Technically they were both supposed to stay Stateside until the adoption was finalized, "When are you leaving?"
"I don't have to go," Danny hedged. Kara gave him an even look. "She wanted me to go today but said Monday would work. I'll be back Friday, but probably late."
Truthfully, that wasn't a long trip for Danny and, with Sasha grounded, Delta Team was sorely short-staffed. Still, Danny was supposed to remain in the States for the next three months until the adoption was finalized. Although, as Andrea could attest, Delta had never been good about following the rules. Unfortunately, a Friday night return meant missing forty-eight hours of the girls' next visit. Worse, it meant Kara would be doing both dropoff and pickup on Thursday and Friday on her own. Exhausted by the mere thought, Kara merely nodded. "Okay."
"Hey, why don't you get a little sleep," Danny said. "It's not even eight and Stella might sleep..."
He was interrupted by Stella herself bouncing into the living room with a crash. "What are we doing today? What are we doing?"
Startled by the sound, Delilah sat up, her face crumpling and lower lip sticking out, a sure sign of impending tears. Standing, Kara clapped her hands together. "What do we want to do first? Pancakes or bath?"
"Pancakes!" Delilah replied, all evident of tears disappearing at the thought of maple syrup.
Kara looked at Danny, picking up her coffee. "You got this?"
"Absolutely."
xxxxx
Three hours later, and an hour after Kara promised Andrea that they would be there, Danny pulled his pickup into a local park. Kara mentally gave a sigh of relief as she finished off her third coffee of the day. Hopefully Val would be able to photo-shop out any bags under Kara's eyes. She unsnapped Delilah from her seat while Danny helped Stella, eyeing both girls to make sure there were no obvious stains on their clothing. The promise of sprinkled donuts was the only thing that got the girls into the truck in the first place.
Unable to spot anything that would immediately mark her as an unfit mother, Kara lifted Delilah onto her hip and headed towards the picnic table where Andrea and Tex were sitting. Behind her, Kara knew the instant that Stella noticed who was here. "Uncle Tex!"
"Stella-Bella-Ella-Noella," Tex replied, heading in that direction. "Hey, did you know that they have ducks here?"
"Ducks!" Delilah yelled. "Me want ducks!"
Tex paused next to Kara, scrunching his face at Delilah. "If we go to see the ducks, you have to be really quiet. And not run off because Uncle Tex is too old to be chasing you. Okay?"
"I be really quiet," Delilah promised.
Setting the child down, Kara gave Tex a stern look. "If any of you come back covered in mud..."
"I'll blame it all on your husband," Tex replied, taking Delilah's hand and heading off. He turned at the last minute. "There's extra coffee on the table. Figured you might need it."
Deciding that Danny and Tex were capable of keeping the girls alive, if not clean, Kara headed towards Andrea. She poured another cup of coffee, pleasantly surprised to find that it was still hot. "Where's Liam?"
"Mike and Christine offered to watch him," Andrea replied. She gave Kara a sympathetic smile. "They're a handful aren't they?"
"How do you do it?" Kara asked, sinking down on the picnic table bench. "Yesterday it took me an hour to pick them up, and then Delilah fell asleep in the car. Which meant she was awake in the middle of the night. Oh, and our bathroom looks like a cyclone hit it and not because of Danny, for once. Delilah acted like I was killing her when I tried to brush her hair and the only way I even got them in the car was by promising them donuts. Ugh." Kara stopped, a sudden horrifying thought occurred to her. "My mom used to do that. Promise me a treat for getting in the car."
"Every mom does that," Andrea replied. "Do you think I keep those goldfish in the car for me to eat? I feed them to Liam to get him to stop screaming at red lights. And sometimes when I really need him to get moving, I give him M&Ms."
Kara fiddled with her cup. "Is Tex leaving with Danny on Monday?"
"Yes. The life of a military spouse. Six days gone for each one home." Andrea paused. "If you want, I could get Delilah from daycare on Thursday when I pick up Liam. That way you just need to get Stella."
Kara spent half a second debating before agreeing. "That would be a big help. By the time I got to the school last night, all the other kids were gone and I'm pretty sure that Stella thought I forgot her."
Andrea nodded. "The girls went through a major trauma when their mother died, Kara. Stella is probably always going to have times when she's insecure."
"We talked about that with the girls' counselor," Kara acknowledged. "How important providing a stable routine was and making sure that they knew about changes in advance. Actually, talking to the woman made me realize a few things about myself, and think about the way that I wanted to parent."
"Just make sure to cut yourself plenty of slack," Andrea warned. "The best parenting advice that I ever received was from my own mother."
"What did she say?" Kara asked, curious.
"Whatever your standards are, lower them," Andrea replied, deadpan.
Kara blinked, then began to laugh. "Really?"
Andrea began to chuckle as well. "Really. Nobody ever said that Gladys Murphy wasn't a realist."
Kara poured herself another cup of coffee. "By the way, sorry we were so late. Everything took at least twice as long as I expected."
"Eh, we only got here fifteen minutes ago," Andrea answered, picking up her own coffee. At Kara's raised eyebrow, Andrea opened her phone, flipping it so Kara could read the screen of what was clearly Tex's phone. How do you get a kid to stop screaming when you brush their hair? Kara groaned. Andrea grinned, lifting her cup again. "After that, we figured you needed another hour."
xxxxx
Kara leaned against Danny's arm, watching Stella and Delilah throw sand at each other, while Andrea checked the pictures. Finally, she gave a decisive nod. "We have some good ones."
"Thank goodness," Danny muttered. "They were worse at following directions than grunts."
Kara chuckled, slipping an arm around his waist. "Who knows? Maybe we can get a nap in later this afternoon."
"Lunch?" Tex asked as Andrea began packing up her camera. "There's a decent joint about fifteen minutes from here."
Danny glanced at Kara, eyebrows raising. Kara was trying to decide whether managing the girls at a restaurant or cooking sounded like more work, when her phone began buzzing. She was reaching for it when she realized that Danny and Tex were also buzzing. Then Andrea reached for her phone. A chill ran down Kara's back, throat tightening as she tried to imagine what could have happened for all of them to get called in. An attack? An assassination? Another strain of the virus? Hopefully there would be enough time to transition the girls back to the Howards. Stella would be upset at the change of plans but there was nothing Kara could do. She just prayed this wouldn't delay the adoption or, worse, derail it entirely.
Kara popped her phone open, only to sag in relief.
It's a girl! Madison Courtney Miller. 6 lbs, 8 oz. 18.5 inches long.
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Danny held the flowers and gift bag while Kara knocked on the door of the Abbott Compound. Kara had been shocked to learn that Courtney and Baby Madison were already home, having spent a mere twenty-four hours in the hospital. But when Kara mentioned her concerns to Elena while dropping the girls back at the Howards, Elena assured her that going home twenty-four hours after the baby's arrival was the norm for an uncomplicated, vaginal birth. The thought had shaken Kara, triggering memories that she didn't want to address.
Kara set down her fork, not wanting anyone in the wardroom to see how her hand shook as she tried to eat the rice-and-beans that Bacon made for dinner. Across the table, Rick was shoveling food into his mouth with no difficulties and at the other end of the table, Tex was holding a cup of coffee while telling a story, no tremors apparent.
Danny leaned closer, his voice low. "You didn't eat much."
"Not hungry," Kara replied, hoping that her rumbling stomach wouldn't give her away. She would just have to wait for later and then get a midnight snack.
"Doctor Scott said..." Danny began.
"I know what she said," Kara hissed, cutting him off. She stood. "I need to get to CIC."
Nishioka looked up, surprised. "Are you cleared then?"
With about a dozen caveats, including that she make sure to eat her damn food, but Kara wasn't going to admit that. "Yes."
Danny narrowed his eyes, but didn't eat her out. Nishioka smiled, not a suspicion on his face. "Glad to have you back, Foster."
"Thanks." Kara dumped her dishes and disappeared down the hall, pretending that she didn't hear Danny call her name as she ducked into the women's showers.
Rick opened the door, a grin covering his face. Kara found herself smiling back, reaching forward to give him a hug. "Congratulations Daddy."
"She's so amazing. Come see her." Rick turned, bustling down the hallway of the mansion. Although Rick and Courtney owned a perfectly respectable home of their own, Kara could understand the allure of retreating to a place where there was a full-time security guard and they could walk to the window without having their picture taken. Despite the coordinated press releases regarding Madison's birth and the pending adoption, Kara had seen at least four reporters camped at the entrance to the estate. "We just have to find a bathroom so you can wash your hands. House rules."
Danny leaned towards Kara. "Bet you that Rick has gotten lost in this place more than once."
Fighting a grin, Kara shook her head. "Be nice."
Four minutes of twisting corridors later, they arrived in a small sitting room. Courtney glanced up, looking pale and exhausted, but also overjoyed as she held a bundle in her arms. "Kara! And Danny! Come meet Madison."
Steeling herself, Kara moved towards Courtney. It wasn't that she wasn't happy — because she was. Rick and Courtney would be the most amazing parents and they deserved this. But that didn't stop a little piece of Kara's heart from aching as she saw the way that Courtney beamed at her daughter. Or the way that Rick placed a hand on Courtney's shoulder as he moved behind them, the grin on his face electric.
Kara forced a smile. "She's beautiful."
"We brought things," Danny said from behind Kara.
She turned and, for just an instant, Kara thought she saw a glimpse of sadness in his eyes as well, before it was hidden behind an expression that Kara hadn't seen in months. One that revealed nothing. Except, somehow, it revealed everything. And, if it was possible, Kara hurt more.
"Oh, thank you," Courtney replied. "Kara, do you want to hold her while I open the gifts?"
This was far from the first time that Kara had held a baby. Yet there was something about knowing that Danny was watching that made her feel awkward as she settled onto the couch next to Courtney, taking the tiny infant into her arms. Madison's eyes opened, bright blue and curious. Kara jiggled the child. "Hello sweetheart. Welcome to the world."
Next to them, Courtney was digging through the mound of baby clothes that Kara had purchased months ago on a shopping spree with Alisha. Kara could admit that she went slightly crazy over the tiny dresses and shoes and bows, despite Andrea informing her that most of it would likely never get used. Kara ran a finger down Madison's silky-smooth skin, touching the soft blond down on her head. She was so very small, so delicate. Just this morning, Kara referred to Delilah as a baby, yet compared to Madison, Del was practically an adult. Already walking and talking — a little person with her own personality. Madison stretched out a hand, and Kara trapped tiny fingers, raising them to her lips.
"Don't you think, Kara?" Rick asked.
Kara looked up to see three sets of eyes focused on her. "Um, sorry. I wasn't listening."
Courtney laughed. "Don't you just want to hold her forever? I tear up every time I think about her getting bigger and growing up, but Rick promised that we can have as many babies as I want."
The room was instantly tense, even Courtney stiffening as she realized what she had just said. Kara watched her eyes widen, knowing that an apology was coming, one that would only make the entire situation worse.
"Then I'll get lots of chances to come by and get my fix of baby snuggles." Kara forced a smile, making sure to look anywhere except for Danny. "I was just thinking about how big Delilah is in comparison. She's hardly a baby at all, really."
"Although that's not necessarily a bad thing," Danny chimed in. "No more diapers."
Rick laughed, and the tension eased. "You should have seen the stuff that came out of her butt right after she was born. It was never-ending. And the smell! I guess that's normal."
Kara found herself laughing at the disgust on Rick's face and, without thinking, glanced in Danny's direction. He was staring, not at her, but at Madison. At Kara holding the infant. Kara's breath caught as she imagined their positions reversed, with Danny being the one to hold the tiny infant.
She needed to get out of here.
Fixing her best captain face, Kara turned towards Courtney, passing the infant back to her mother. "We should get going. We just came by to say hello and deliver the gifts. When you're up for it, let us know and we'll bring the girls to meet Madison."
"Oh but," Rick began, but Danny cut him off.
"You all must be tired," Danny said. "Besides, I still have to pack."
Courtney looked up, dismay across her face. "I thought that you were off active status until the adoption was finalized?"
"I am," Danny admitted. "Just a quick five-day jaunt."
Kara noted the fact that Danny omitted where he was going, something she recalled when they were back in his truck on their way home. "Where are you going this time?"
Danny made a face, then sighed. "Brazil."
Kara forced herself not to react. "Is that a good idea?"
"Above my paygrade," Danny deflected. He glanced over, hesitating, before asking. "Are you ... okay? About seeing the baby, I mean?"
"Yes." The answer was rote, but Danny deserved more than that. Kara took a deep breath. "I'm happy and sad. You?"
There was a short silence, then Danny reached for Kara's hand. "Me too."
