A/N — for those who asked, there are references to my AU version of Baltimore here. For anyone coming in cold, remember to read the trigger warning on this story. xoxo — kals
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Chapter 37 — Out of the Mouths of Babes
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"Mommy and I have something we want to tell you," Danny said. "We're having a baby. Isn't that exciting?"
"No, no, no," Kara interrupted. "That's too abrupt. We need to ease into it."
Danny sighed, his exasperation evident. Kara couldn't completely blame him given that she had shot down every one of his ideas. "How exactly do you suggest we tell them? Because Barnes is breaking the news in four days and if we don't tell them, someone else definitely will."
Scowling, Kara again cursed Debbie's inability to keep her mouth closed. Somehow, her mother had managed to spill the beans without even knowing that Kara was pregnant, resulting in Danny and Kara striking a deal to give Jacob Barnes an exclusive when the time came for an announcement. Not that Debbie was totally to blame. The timing of the press release was driven in large part to take the pressure off of Tom and Sasha, who were now the proud parents of a five-day-old baby boy. With the baby born at home — Sasha apparently really had an issue with hospitals and managed to talk both Rachel and Rios into a home delivery — the press hadn't yet caught wind of little Jake's arrival. But they all knew that was simply a matter of time. If not for wanting to repay Tom and Sasha for helping ease the press coverage during the girls' adoption, Kara wouldn't have confirmed the pregnancy at all. Instead waiting until the baby was actually here to make any announcement.
"Maybe nobody will?" Kara offered.
Danny didn't bother responding which, Kara supposed, was fair. After all, the suggestion was, frankly, ridiculous. Kara frowned as Danny picked up his phone. "What are you doing?"
"Calling Sasha to ask for an assignment somewhere far away," Danny muttered. At Kara's glare, he amended. "I'm calling Elena. She's fostered enough kids that one of them has to have gone through this."
Before Kara could concede that asking Elena was actually a good idea — as compared to every other thing Danny had suggested — he left the room. Kara leaned back on the sofa, hand creeping towards the small bump in her midsection.
Her little boy.
xxx
"That's your baby," Doctor Egowman said, moving the wand across Kara's stomach. Despite the fact that the lubricant was cold and unpleasantly slimy, Kara didn't care.
She could see her child.
"Is that ... is that a hand?" Danny asked, his own voice awed.
Doctor Egowman chuckled. "That is a hand. It looks like someone wanted to say hello."
He moved the wand again and the sound of a heartbeat filled the small space. Kara gasped. "How fast is the heartbeat supposed to be?"
"145 beats per minute," the Doctor replied. "Exactly where we want it to be. The heart is too small for a full examination, which we will do at twenty weeks. But from what I am seeing here, growth appears to be on track."
"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" Danny asked.
"It's too early to tell visually but I do have your test results here," Doctor Egowman explained. He set down the wand, leaving up the last picture of the baby with his or her hand outstretched, as he snapped off his gloves and dug around for a folder. "I reviewed these earlier and didn't see anything of concern. Ah, here it is." He glanced up, smiling. "Are you ready?"
Kara stretched out her hand, waiting for Danny to grasp it, before nodding.
The Doctor smiled. "Say hello to your son."
xxx
"Can you feel him moving?"
Kara hadn't noticed Danny's return, too focused on her thoughts. Realizing he was looking at the hand on her stomach, Kara shook her head. "Not yet. Apparently, it's still early. Andrea said around sixteen to eighteen weeks. So another month." She waited a beat before asking. "What did Elana say?"
Danny grinned, leaning forward. "She said, and I quote, that we were overthinking things and to just give them each a t-shirt that said Big Sister and rip off the band aid."
"It can't be that easy," Kara argued. "Kat totally lost it and wouldn't talk to Tex for weeks. She told Andrea that this was the worst thing that her father had ever done to her."
"Yes, well, Elana did say that we should be prepared for backlash," Danny admitted. "Her point was more that there's no way to avoid it so the best thing to do was tell the girls now. This way they have plenty of time to get used to the idea. Plus, they might want to be involved in picking out things for the nursery."
"I read that in one of my books," Kara murmured, warming slightly to the idea. "That even older children might want to play with the baby toys or sleep in a crib again after a new sibling is born." When Danny didn't respond, Kara frowned. "What?"
"I was just thinking about how strange it will be to have a boy." Danny sat down next to Kara, his eyes focused on her mid-section. "I used to think that I wanted a son. Now I'm so used to the girls that the idea of a little boy feels weird."
"You thought it was a girl last time, too," Kara whispered, the words catching in her throat.
"And you thought it was a boy," Danny replied, a ghost of a smile crossing his face.
Kara swallowed. "I wish we knew."
Danny's arm curled over her shoulder, pulling her to his side, his chin resting on the top of her head. They sat silently — Kara imagined that Danny's thoughts weren't far from hers.
Imagining a six-year-old boy, the spitting image of his father, jumping around the room playing the floor is lava.
A little girl, her pigtails swinging as she laughed.
Kara had told herself time and time again that not knowing was better. Allowing her to distance. But, now she wondered whether that was just another lie. Because not knowing meant that she could imagine two children — one a boy and one a girl — and mourn the loss of both. Kara shifted so she could look at the shelf where the gifts from Danny now sat, high enough to evade Delilah's curious grip.
The Japanese tea bowl.
The Hopi vase.
The Colonial teapot with a replacement silver spout.
The Roman carafe.
The Marajoara urn.
All tangible reminders that the child — their child — existed, if only for a few short months.
"Part of me feels like he's come back," Kara admitted, before rushing to add. "I know that's ridiculous and that every embryo is unique so there is no statistical way this child is genetically identical. I just meant..."
"I know what you meant," Danny cut her off. "We got our second chance. Maybe this baby did too."
xxx
Kara jerked her arm as the guards led her into Avocet, but their grip remained firm. The entire way here she had been trying to figure out why they had taken her off the Nathan James, concluding that she was leverage. Danny must have something that they needed, just as Quincy had, and they were hoping to use Kara to get it.
She could only hope that Danny would be as strong as Quincy was, at the end. Willing to do whatever it took to protect the primordial, and thereby the cure. The guilt over what happened at Gitmo still weighed on her, and Kara knew that whatever Amy Granderson wanted would have far broader consequences.
But when she was shoved into the small room, Danny was nowhere to be seen. Rather, she came face-to-face with ... Rachel. "Doctor Scott?"
"Kara."
Rachel's voice was tight, barely acknowledging Kara before she turned back to an Asian man in a lab coat. Behind Rachel, Kara caught a glimpse of Tex, who gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head.
"As I was saying," Rachel said, her comments directed at the man with Hamada on this lab coat, "this is pointless. Lieutenant Foster miscarried three days ago. There is nothing left to..."
"Either you can do it," the man relied, cutting Rachel off, "or I will." His eyes skimmed over Kara. "And I've never performed a D so I can't promise that there will be no ... side effects."
Kara's attention, which had been on the chamber — counting the guards, considering whether she and Tex could overpower them together — snapped back to Rachel and Hamada. D . She knew that term. An abortion. They were talking about an abortion. "But the baby is gone."
The words came out too sharp, too high, almost hysterical. Rachel stepped forward, her hands coming to grasp Kara's, ignoring the shuffling of the guards around them, her attention solely on Kara. "No, Kara, Dilation and curettage is a medical procedure to remove excess tissue following a miscarriage. It's a common medical procedure but one that is unnecessary here." She glared at Hamada. "As I have already explained."
"Her HCG hasn't fallen," Hamada interrupted. "That means..."
Kara's eyes swung to Rachel, the words news to her. HCG was the pregnancy hormone that initially tipped off Rachel to Kara's condition. Was it possible that Rachel was wrong? That the baby might not be gone after all? But Rachel wasn't looking, too busy glaring at Hamada, and Kara felt the glimmer of hope die as instantly as it formed. Rachel wouldn't lie to them. And she had been certain. The sorrow in her eyes as she gave Danny and Kara the news too real to be misunderstood.
"That means her body is still recovering," Rachel snapped. She breathed in sharply, before blowing out a breath, eyes closed. A moment later, she opened them again, her focus returning to Kara. "Kara, Doctor Hamada feels that a D will allow us to recover ... remaining tissue that may assist in their effort to find a cure." Kara opened her mouth, only to stop, reading the warning in Rachel's eyes. "I disagree but, since I am the only person here competent to perform the procedure, I am asking you for your consent to proceed."
Consent.
The word almost made Kara laugh. As though anything about this situation was voluntary. But Kara also understood what Rachel wasn't saying. Hamada would do whatever it took to get what he wanted. What was it Hamada said?
I can't promise that there will be no ... side effects.
The words brought to mind stories of back-alley abortions that left women infertile ... or worse.
This wasn't about the child she lost. This was about Kara's ability to ever have a child again — maybe even her life. And all Rachel could do was try to mitigate the impact to Kara as much as she numb lips, Kara forced the words. "Whatever you think is best, Rachel."
xxx
"Only Alisha would throw a wedding on Christmas Eve," Andrea murmured, draining her champagne. "Does she know how many presents that I still need to wrap?"
Kara leaned against the wall. "This seemed like a much better idea before I had children that woke up at five in the morning."
"This is why it is good to be a bachelor," Carlton announced, handing them each a flute of sparkling cider. "I can sleep as late as I want tomorrow."
"Not if you want Peter's pancakes," Kara reminded him. "Breakfast starts at eight sharp."
Carlton lifted his watch, programming in the alarm. "I'll be there."
"Aunt Andrea! Aunt Andrea!" Stella shouted, rushing across the ballroom, the sparkles on her green flowergirl dress reflecting light from the chandelier. Danny trailed behind her, chatted with Mike and Christine, each of whom was carrying a twin. Another thing that Alisha hadn't considered was that, by eight o'clock, most of the children in attendance were at the tired and cranky stage. After playing London Bridges through the speeches, Tex finally took Liam and Delilah out to the gardens to play. Kara assumed that Delilah's dress would be destroyed but she was willing to accept the tradeoff.
"Yes, Stella-bella," Andrea replied without breaking a smile.
"Mommy's having a baby." Stella beamed proudly at the announcement, as everyone around them fell silent.
Andrea bent down until her head was level with Stella's own. "Congratulations. Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"
Stella wrinkled her nose. "It's a boy. I was a little sad about that, but then Daddy pointed out that I already have a little sister so now I get to see what it's like having a baby brother. Plus, I get to help pick out all the stuff for the nursery."
"A boy?" Andrea glanced over at Kara, who nodded.
"I'm getting the sense that you aren't entirely surprised by the news, Garnett," Mike drawled.
Christine poked her husband in the arm. "Mike! Be nice. Congratulations Stella! And Kara and Danny, of course. A little boy."
There was a wistful note to Christine's voice, her thought obviously turning to her own son. Mike and Christine had seemed so happy to find each other again, after those excruciating first weeks in St. Louis. Kara remembered hearing rumors in the Arctic that the Slatterys were in the process of splitting up before the virus hit. Yet, somehow, their marriage came out intact and, perhaps, even stronger if the twin's existence meant anything.
Was it dumb luck?
Or something more, something that told them to keep fighting.
"Glad I don't have to tell Reiss that I'm pulling the James out of service," Mike joked, reaching out a hand to shake Danny's. "When are you due?"
"June 22nd," Kara replied.
Two weeks after her original due date.
"June is a great time to have a baby," Christine replied, oblivious to the undercurrents.
Not that Kara blamed her, even Andrea hadn't made the connection until Kara pointed it out. Although Rachel may have told Tom and Mike how far along Kara was upon discovering the pregnancy, Kara miscarried long before any consideration was given to when the child would be arriving. In fact, as far as Kara knew, she, Danny and Rachel were the only people to know Kara's original due date at all.
"Being pregnant through the summer is rough," Andrea agreed.
"Are you all hiding in the corner?" Alisha demanded, appearing out of nowhere, Val in tow. They did make a striking couple, both dressed in off-white. Val was wearing a suit, her hair tied back neatly, and Alisha had changed in her third dress of the evening, a simple slip-dress that allowed her to move easily. Her hair was pulled back in two faux-diamond clips that sparkled in the light. But the thing that struck Kara the most was how happy Alisha looked.
Even though Val wasn't Alisha's first choice, Sarah's death a devastating loss.
Despite the fact that her mother wasn't here.
Aware that half the guests still thought that Val was crazy.
Amy's betrayal and Sarah's death crushed Alisha, not all that different from the way losing the baby crushed Kara. And while originally Kara was too oblivious to notice Alisha's heartache, once Tom pushed them together, they clung to each other. When the Henan exploded, Kara's first thought had been for Danny. But Alisha was a close second. Their friendship having become so much more, something closer to the bond that existed between Stella and Delilah than mere bunk mates. They fought their way out of the darkness together.
And now they had both their own happily ever afters.
Kara brushed away a tear, moving forward to give first Alisha and then Val a hug. "You make a beautiful couple."
"God, is that what pregnancy hormones do to people?" Val demanded, leaning back from Kara, as though worried that Kara's emotions were contagious.
"Val!" Alisha shrieked. "You promised not to say anything!"
"And you promised not to tell anyone," Kara reminded Alisha. "But actually, Stella already spilled the beans. She's very excited."
"How did Delilah take the news?" Andrea asked.
Kara exchanged a look with Danny. "Well," Kara hedged, "she did come up with a nickname for the baby."
"Poop baby," Danny added.
Mike snorted. "Better than Whitney's reaction and she came around."
"Same with Kat," Andrea added.
Val took a step back. "Pretty sure we need to be ... somewhere else. Did you say something about cake, Al?"
Alisha rolled her eyes, before looping her arm through Kara's and directing all three of them towards the dessert table. Deciding to skip the traditional wedding cake, Alisha selected a small one for her and Val to cut, with the guests choosing between an assortment of cakes and pies. Kara was already drooling over the chocolate pudding. Bacon had laid out an impressive spread for dinner, but the desserts were clearly where the majority of his time and money went.
"Sorry to make a scene at your wedding," Kara whispered. "The press release is tomorrow so we couldn't wait to tell the girls."
"First, not a scene. Second, this is great," Alisha sounded almost gleeful. "Now nobody will be talking about what Val said to Milowsky."
"What did Val say..."
"Cake time!" Alisha announced, cutting Kara off. As if someone wasn't going to tell Kara, likely within the next twenty-four hours. The Nathan James gossip chain remained alive and well.
Before she dropped Alisha's arm, Kara gave her a squeeze. "I don't say this enough but thank you for sticking with me all of these years. I don't know what I would have done without you."
To Kara's surprise, Alisha teared up. "Right back at you, chica."