DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Naruto speaking to Kurama in her mindscape," etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

Kakashi just didn't get it.

Watching Naruto sleep in the morning, all curled and partially propped up on a long "prego pillow," as she called it, and in a pretty, slim-fitting, soft nightgown that had a lovely slit all the way up to her hip, she was incredibly beautiful to him. She was the divine goddess (of shortness, he had joked to her - hoping to convince her and had been punched.) Naruto felt terribly unattractive, though, and had even asked him to wear a blindfold when they were together last night. Silly woman.

He loved her pregnant. Asuma had said the same thing about Kurenai when she was pregnant with Mirai-chan. Both men agreed that this was a once (or maybe twice - or more for others) in a lifetime thing so what was not to enjoy? Well. He didn't like how tired Naruto was nowadays but that was because he worried about her so much. Her "moods" had also taken quite a turn but Kakashi thought it was funny. Not that he would say that.

Considering how moody and violent Kurenai had been THROUGHOUT her pregnancy, Kakashi felt very lucky indeed. Naruto had only tried to throttle him a few times lately and because she was as big as she was, carrying twins, she didn't stand a chance.

"What did you just say?" Naruto asked darkly.

"I said I like you pregnant! Maa, maybe we should have another one right after: keep the kids close in age, ne?"

Naruto's hair had started to fly, her chakra whipping around her. "I see. It's just too bad they'll grow up without a father."

She lunged out to strangle him but Kakashi was too fast.

Yes, it would probably be a long time before they had another pup but that was fine. He planned to enjoy fatherhood as much as a man could. Having wanted to avoid this type of thing for so much of his life (lives,) Kakashi now hoped that he'd live a long life with his little pack. Minato couldn't wait to be a grandfather and Naruto's other crazy relatives also planned to help out as much as they could so Kakashi knew they'd be okay.

Nearly everyone in ANBU was also very excited for them and had offered to babysit, etc. So had the majority of both of their one-time classmates.

Hayate and Yugao had just found out that they were expecting, too. Kakashi thought that Tenzo and Shizune might be, as well, considering Shizune's change in scent. If Tenzo didn't admit it soon, he would prank him to hell and back - then blame his little wife.

Relative peace, such as it was, was strange but Kakashi found that he liked it.

Unlike a lot of women, Naruto wasn't concerned about the pain of childbirth. Instead, she was more worried about not actively using chakra after their twins were born, meaning that she wouldn't be able to make clones until she was fully healed. New mothers could use chakra but it was inadvisable.

If something was inadvisable, Kakashi was going to make damn sure that it didn't happen. He sighed and ran his hand through his damp hair. Naruto was wearing monitors that made him extremely nervous. Tsunade was seeing her every day now. Having almost reached the end of her pregnancy, everything was going well. She was down to four clones a day but considering that those clones' bodies looked just as pregnant as Naruto did, they couldn't do an awful lot.

As he often did nowadays, Kakashi stepped into the nursery. A smirk grew on his face, so much so that he pulled his mask up in discomfort. He couldn't help himself.

There were an awful lot of blue or traditional boys' things that had been added recently! He hadn't asked his little wife if she'd found out - he'd let her have her secrets - but now more than ever, he figured that the pups would be male. Wasn't that thrilling? Training up little alphas? Now all they needed was a little girl to complete their pack.

Slow down, you idiot.

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Kakashi wondered if they needed anything else. Naruto said he was baby crazy but he wanted to be prepared. Naruto's more minimalist ideas on what newborns needed didn't stand a chance against Kakashi's need to shop for his pack.

Two decked-out bassinets they'd received from the Senjus: check
Cameras to spy on the babies or anyone else: check
Convertible crib: check
An additional, matching crib in storage: check
Extra long dresser/changing launchpad: check
Slings: check
Diapers and traveling/storage seals: check
Dirty diaper container thing that has more (anti-stink) seals on it than the Hokage Tower: check
Baby-safe nail polish to in the future, tell the twins apart: check
Tiny clothes: check

Yeah, Kakashi knew he might have gone a little crazy on the baby clothes. So then why did Naru add little blue ones? He knew why!

There was other stuff throughout the house, too.

One extra wide bassinet in the bedroom: check
Double stroller: check
Double RUNNING stroller from Gai: check
Bottles and formula downstairs Naru doesn't plan to use: check

I hope my pups don't drown. When he'd voiced that concern to Naruto, since her breasts were so big, she'd punched the living crap out of him and ran off crying. So cute.

He made his way downstairs to find Naruto's clones arguing. "Good morning." He allowed one of them to kiss him on his masked cheek. Before Naru was pregnant, he'd normally stab one of her flirty clones (something Naru approved of and demanded) but he simply couldn't force himself to do that now. "How are you this morning?"

"Fat and slow."

"Boss is asleep," another doppelganger said. "I'll go wake her up. No, never mind: you do it. She's a nightmare."

"Be nice to my original wife," Kakashi scolded the clone.

"The baby shower's tonight, right?" the third clone asked.

Kakashi hummed as he accepted a cup of coffee and put up a genjutsu. Naru's clones weren't quite Naruto, especially lately. "Yes," he lied. Three beautiful faces turned and glared at him. "What?"

"Boss is excited about it!"

"I know," Kakashi replied before sipping his coffee. Instead of having the shower tonight at the Nara's as Naru had been informed, however, he had approved of it being a surprise today at HQ. He was a ridiculous choice for a commanding general, really, and this just proved it. Kakashi still wasn't sure why Minato was all for it, however. The Hokage had put up additional seals that would only allow those invited (that weren't ANBU) into certain lesser-restricted areas. Naru's going to be so surprised.

- Hopefully, it won't make her go into labor.

With that frightening thought, he wandered toward the room that gave him the most anxiety: the one where his children would be born.

In the back of the house, in a room they'd never used for anything but storage, everything was now set up and ready to go. Because the property was so well-sealed, Minato thought it was best for Naruto to have a home birth in secret. Kakashi agreed although he had only considered it when he read about such things in one of their pregnancy books.

Whether it was the pups were brought into this world via cesarean or more natural means was still being debated but it was extremely LATE in the game for them not to have determined an ending labor plan yet. No matter what, Naruto's seal would unravel without being held but since it was already open, no one knew exactly what would happen.

When they were married, the Sandaime had said it was impossible: that Naruto wouldn't face the same thing Kushina had gone through but that wasn't true at all. Naru's seal might look and BE different from her mother's but all female jinchuurikis having children went through this. Feeling his anxiety spike, Kakashi found it hard to breathe as he considered his wife DYING in this room, Kurama being set free…

What Kurama had done to Konoha and Kushina almost two decades ago…

Naruto: gone…

A small hand on his shoulder made him turn around and grab his wife, holding her desperately close.

"It's alright, Kash. Kurama won't let anything happen to me." That imaginary wolf had woken her up and - well - Naruto was beginning to think it wasn't so imaginary anymore. "I love you, Kakashi. It's okay," she continued to soothe him as she rubbed his back. "Soon we're going to have our pack and we'll be up to our ears in diapers and will probably be puked on multiple times a day!" Although she hoped not.

Kakashi pulled away, just enough to look at her gratefully. "Maa, Naruto. My puppies will be perfect!"

"Kakashi," Naruto drawled seriously. "Did you ever meet me as a child?"

Kakashi snorted. No, he hadn't - at least not until she was 12 (aside from seeing her in a crib hours after she'd been born) in his past life - but boy, had he heard stories. "Yep. That's how I know they'll be perfect."

"Awww! You're the sweetest man!"

Kakashi snorted again but enjoyed the hug and kisses he received.
She's here.
She's warm.
She's fine.
She loves me.
Kurama might be an asshole, but he loves Naruto, too.

.

After a while, Naruto winced. The baby shower was wonderful and a huge surprise to her but now Kakashi knew that she'd told a few apparently big-mouthed people (Yoshino, Sai, and Shikamaru) that they'd be having boys. She'd opened at least a dozen gifts that were clearly "boy stuff." Kakashi was giving her a look that promised punishment. She grinned at him enough to make her eyes close. Bring it, mister! I love the way you punish me! She laughed and shivered when he growled at her although she was most certainly not in the mood. "I don't know what's wrong with you."

"You've been holding out on me," Kakashi grumbled - although he was largely being playful.

"Whatever you say! This is fun though, ne?"

"Yep," Kakashi agreed. It was also hilarious to see the shitty, grayish walls of the ANBU lounge covered in colorful balloons and streamers. He decided to make a couple of his subordinates paint it when they took everything down. "Telling other people and not your mate, though," he complained in a low enough tone that no one else would hear, "you are in so much trouble."

"Enough for the paddle?"

"Naughty woman."

"You're not happy to be… you know," Naru asked shyly.

"Having male pups? –I'm thrilled!"

"You didn't want to know, though," Naruto said guiltily and then bit her bottom lip.

Kakashi hummed as he gazed at her. "Yet now I realize how much I DID want to know. Ahead of time, too." I can buy more boy stuff. How odd of him. Normally he thought of himself as a cheap bastard.

"That's good." Naruto was incredibly relieved. She just couldn't stand not knowing!

Temari plopped three elaborately-wrapped presents into Kakashi's hands since Naruto no longer had a lap. "Here. The one on top's from Gaara and the one underneath that is from Fu. The bottom one's from me."

"So does that mean that Suna knows?" Minato asked worriedly, hanging over his daughter's head. He was paranoid.

"Not the official government. Naruto told Gaara, however."

Naruto grinned up at her father who was giving her an exasperated look. "Thank you, Temari! You didn't need to get us anything!" Seriously. They had so much baby crap it was nuts. Fortunately, most people here had heard her complain about Kakashi's near-daily shopping sprees lately and got them stuff that was for babies or kids that were older.

Or stuff for them:

Yoshino had made her some very pretty coupons for what would surely amount to a lifetime of babysitting. Shikaku (and Yoshino) had given them a whole vacation they could take later.

But Shikamaru… Gods love him: Shikamaru, as clan heir, had given them a permanent retreat (as in a freaking cabin) at the far edge of the Nara forest. Who was he? Handing-Out-Houses-Nawaki!? And how was she ever going to pay her brother back for such a thing?!

"Oh my."

Gaara had made them a glass sculpture of a stylized baby fox and tanuki chasing each other around a bunch of trees and what was probably sand on the other side. Much of it was frosted and it had a ton of detail. "It's… beautiful!" It really was. Who knew that Gaara was so artistic? He'd gotten even better!

Naru gasped, more, when she unwrapped a colorful painting from Fu that had all of the bijuu in baby form. "She made this? And Gaara made THIS?" Temari nodded, smirking. "They're going in our living room," she said firmly. It didn't matter to her one bit if they were for the nursery.

Naru nearly screamed when she opened the third present. "Ah! Tem-mar-riiiii!" She jumped up - nearly falling down - and hugged her future sister-in-law. It's going to happen, dammit.

"Shikamaru said you were pretty prepared for the babies so I thought you'd like this," Temari replied happily. "I'm really glad you do." Naruto was wiping tears from her face.

"Fans," Naruto said to herself, smiling at the storm - lightning - colored details on each of the small-medium-sized fans.

"They're a good size for kids. The weight's good, too," Temari told her sagely. "They'll easily conduct chakra."

"They can be USED?" Naruto asked, freaking out as she ran her chakra into one. Kakashi was doing the same thing with the other, looking at it in near disbelief. "But they're so pretty! I thought they were just for show!"

"Just because something's beautiful doesn't mean it's not useful," Temari preached.

"Like you," Shikamaru mumbled beside her. Temari turned red and Naruto gushed all over them, making a total fool out of herself. Temari got so embarrassed she grabbed Naru and wrestled her into the couch again.

- It hadn't been very hard. Not only was Naruto huge but she was a giggly baka.

Tenzo handed her an envelope. "This is from us." Naruto opened it up, gasped again, and, getting back up as fast as she could, threw herself at him. Inside the envelope had been a picture he took only a few minutes before the shower began of a rather enormous swing set/jungle gym he'd made and designed for them. Shizune had helped him install the slides and things.

"I'm glad you like it," Shizune giggled, accepting Naru's hug, too.

Kakashi pretended to glare at his kohai. "Maa, Tenzo. You were on my property without my permission."

"Senpai! I - I wanted it to be a surprise!"

"You know you're always welcome, Uncle Tenzo," Naruto told him, grinning like mad. "You, too, Shizune! Don't listen to Old and Grumpy!"

"SO much trouble," Kakashi mumbled to his cheeky wife. "But seriously, Tenzo, Shizune: thank you. I'm sure the boys will love it."

"Gah! You admitted you're having boys," Yugao cheered. Some of Naru's old classmates applauded.

Kakashi sighed as if he was miserable. There were a lot of people socializing here so he wasn't exactly comfortable although the thought behind this little party was heartwarming. "There is a lot of blue in here, Yugao." He accepted her gift and began to grin at Hayate when he joined them to check it out.

"That's from both of us."

"Little swords!" Naru cheered. "Oh crap: that's dangerous."

"They're for show," Hayate shrugged. "But they're the right weight for practicing and they're OBVIOUSLY perfect for a nursery," he continued, making Naru laugh. He didn't know why she thought it was funny or why his wife had slapped herself in the face. Kakashi seemed to get it. He coughed and tried to get his breathing under control before gesturing back at the package. "Check out the rest of it."

Kakashi looked at him quizzically but felt that the weight of the package he'd been given was wrong. False bottom, he guessed. He unlocked a little seal underneath one of the swords and closed his eyes when he saw what had been hidden. "Hayate…"

"Meh," Hayate said, seemingly easily. "Our fathers were friends." He laughed and accepted the very surprising embrace he received. "Look at you: Hatake Kakashi, getting all mushy and sentimental! Who would have imagined?"

"Shut up, idiot," Kakashi sniffed.

"Be nice, Kakashi," Naruto smiled. She had been smiling so much this afternoon, her face hurt. "I'm not sure what I'm seeing, though; I'm sorry!" The bottom of the sword box had five small round lumps of silver metal or a type of mineral in it.

"This is a special ore I came across outside of Kumo. It definitely conducts lighting, and specifically: I think it may be strong enough to handle white chakra."

"I can't believe you found it," Kakashi breathed. He closed his eyes and felt his chakra easily rush into it and let out a breathy laugh. It immediately GLOWED. "Wow." There wasn't a lot here but if he combined this ore with what was in the pieces of his father's chakra blade… 'THANK you. –I don't… I don't know what to say!"

"You've said enough; you're welcome!" He glanced at his wife, wondering if she or Naruto were strangling the other with their long-lasting, giant hug. If he didn't think it impossible, he'd swear he heard Yugao apologizing for giving them the awesome gift of swords and knew that his wife shoved some kind of shiny box into Naruto's haori. Weird.

"Before the happy couple opens more presents, how about we play a game?" Tsunade yelled from the other side of the very large room. She dodged out of the way as senbons came flying at a poster of a baby in a diaper she'd hastily put up on the wall. "Damn ninjas! I'm going to beat the hell out of you when you least expect it!"

Sure enough, though, the baby in the picture hadn't been hit and the senbons had all pierced the sides of the baby's diaper.

.

Naruto stared at Kakashi in disbelief. It was only weeks ago, right around Tenzo and Shizune's wedding, that he'd said that HE didn't want to work after the babies were born.

And he pulls this on the same day of their surprise baby shower that had turned out so wonderfully?!

Now he was telling her that he didn't want her to be a ninja anymore?! "I will continue to work, Kakashi. If you recall, I am the village jinchuuriki."

"Maa, your father's Hokage." And he's also a jinchuuriki. "You don't have to work. And as you said," Kakashi sighed (and was ready to flee,) "you ARE our jinchuuriki. That means your presence, enough, will be a deterrent to other villages."

"Kakashi, I LIKE my job! Not the killing but what I've been doing in the past year or so? I do!" He clicked his tongue and Naru felt her eyes well up with tears. Gods help her, Kakashi was technically - or at least partially - her direct supervisor which was wrong on so many levels. He really could end her shinobi career! "Obviously I'm going to take time off when they're first born but I plan to go back to work."

Kakashi frowned at her. "You want someone else to raise our pups?" He took a very slight step back when Naru's hair started to fly: this time into a tornado of wind.

"Do you really think that?! But Kakashi, I've… I've ALWAYS wanted to be a ninja. I - I - I fucking used to want to be the Hokage! And I HAVE to be strong! There are fucking maniacs out there that want to kill me! They'll use our children to get to us! I can't NOT be a ninja; I CAN'T be out of the loop!" She started hyperventilating and Kakashi rushed to her side. Without trying, a Rasengan began forming in her hand that she immediately closed - and then her chakra shot out of control.

"FUCK!" She grabbed her hips and tried to bend over before standing up, bending over again, and looking up in pain at her baka husband who was completely still and turning absolutely white as she breathed through what she sure as fuck hoped(?) was a contraction because if a contraction was worse than this? She was going to die! Kakashi's chakra was all over the place even worse than hers was! "DO SOMETHING, ASSHOLE!"

"Right," Kakashi breathed, unable to move. If I don't move, Naruto's going to kill me. He slowly got up - almost in a trance - his genius mind strangely empty, and looked at his mate who was panting now. "What do I do?"

"Oh my God: you total traditionalist, half-secretly… misogynistic douchebag!"

Kakashi felt icy cold water splash over him before his asshole was on FIRE. He turned around, dripping (up &) wet to see his wife still bent over, holding the tiger seal. Good Gods, she'd used the sacred Hatake 1000 Years of Death on him!

And for some reason, he was crouching on the ceiling. "Oww."

"Man up, Hatake! Move your ass before I get you again!"

.

In a cave outside of Lightning Country, Kabuto grinned as he decided the time was right to wake up one of his first new experiments.

"Edo Tensei." A coffin he'd earlier prepared rose and Kabuto chortled, finding it unbelievable that after everything he'd learned or at least heard of, Konoha, especially, wouldn't be burning every, single body in their three cemeteries. The front of the coffin fell away and Kabuto felt quite proud of his work. This one was key to learning what Namikaze Minato had done to bring himself back to life.

With another few hand seals, a chin popped up and furious violet eyes focused on him. He pushed up his glasses. "Welcome back to the world of the living."

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME, 'TTEBANE?!"

"My name is Yakushi Kabuto, Lady Kushina. And I am your new master." Chains flew out at Kabuto but with a single hand seal, he was able to quiet her.

The chains fell to the ground before disappearing. Boy, did Uzumaki Kushina look angry, though!

Mayyyyybe this wasn't the best idea Kabuto ever had. He needed to have faith in himself, however. "I have news I think you'll be interested in and I... simply require your assistance."