DISCLAIMER & A/N: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe. I had to break this chapter up and I bet y'all can figure out what's coming next!

Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Naruto speaking to Kurama in her mindscape," etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

Naru closed her eyes as she heard shouting begin outside.

She probably would've passed out had it not been for all the yelling - oh, and did she mention the wolf? Yes, a giant wolf was standing over her and her NEWBORNS, snarling at everyone and occasionally barking: that was beyond alarming.

The new mother forced herself to breathe and tried to scooch up, lifting her babies up and crying out in pain. The chains she couldn't control failed and Tsunade was there instantly. When Naru opened her eyes again, Kakashi was kneeling, almost on top of her, kunais in each hand, facing away. A strange burst of light made her pull both newborns closer, although she bent over the one in the crook of her left arm more than the one on her right because he was so slippery!

Tsunade yelled at Kakashi to help her and within a few seconds - wow - as soon as the babe was diapered and properly swaddled in another blanket in the midst of all the bright light, he picked her up. Kakashi made sure they were all secure and flashed them to one of their guest rooms: the one on the other side of the nursery. Then he was gone again.

"Kakashi!"

Thankfully, he flashed back seconds later with Tsunade.

"Don't you even think of leaving us here, Hatake Kakashi," Tsunade laid into him as she began healing Naruto again.

Naruto knew she had lost quite a bit of blood. Her babies were crying, though (so was she although she didn't realize it,) so she figured they needed to be fed. That's what the books said. She'd practiced holding limp-noodle newborn dolls in parenting classes but felt like her stomach muscles had been trashed. (News alert, Naruto: they had been!)

When she'd practiced holding baby dolls, she hadn't been so out of it, though.

"Help me feed them, baa-chan?" It took a while for Tsunade to finish what she was doing for now. It was horrible because the babies were so upset; their sad little howls and cries made Tsunade's work feel like it took hours. Naru further grimaced when her grandmother pulled a suction bulb out of a scroll in her haori and shoved it up one baby's nostrils and then the other. "Now they're really mad!"

Oh, they were, too. She swore one of her boys purposely pulled his arm out of the blanket and took a swing at Tsunade. Once eventually in a position where they wouldn't suffocate, though, they began to calm down as they tried to latch on.

"This is not going to work," Naruto realized.

...

"Nothing's happening!" Naruto was sure of it. It felt weird but nothing was happening. Tsunade rolled her eyes and pulled out some weapons and a diaper bag from a seal with the hand that wasn't supporting the babe on her left. The women gasped or glared at Kakashi's clone when he took a picture of them.

"It's alright," Tsunade quietly said as much to herself as she did to her granddaughter. "And what do you mean it's not going to work?"

Naruto was too embarrassed to say and was glad Kakashi was laying traps. She whispered in her grandmother's ear. If anyone would understand then it was Tsunade, right? "Ano… I'm going to suffocate them if I try to feed them by myself at the same time." Kakashi had been right: her boobs were too freaking big. Thanks a lot for the big boob gene, Tsunade.

What the hell's going on outside?

Tsunade huffed. "Then don't do it alone for now. When they're older it will be easier. Ha!" Just wait until the milk comes in, Naruto.

You're so screwed!

It didn't sound like anyone was throwing weapons or jutsus outside. In fact, Naruto only heard the occasional yells in the distance and downstairs. Kakashi was intermittently watching whatever was happening outside through a crack in the blinds and he looked tense - but considering that he wasn't flashing around murdering people it couldn't be that bad.

"Kakashi?" He turned to her but looked incredibly stressed. "I... I love you."

Under his mask, he broke out in what she knew was a real and soft grin as he gazed at the three of them. "I love you, too." His eyes watered up again and he quickly turned away.

He was so cute: blushing because Tsunade was here, she guessed. Naru internally gushed over him, suddenly feeling all loopy and lovesick despite whatever was going on. How could one day be such a dream and a nightmare?

And then she was sad. "What's happening?"

"My father's here."

Naruto nodded and tried to get a little more in the game. Her reanimated mother was there, too, and Naruto only felt irritated by it. Something was clearly wrong then. Surely she wasn't so shallow that she only cared about herself and her little family of four today? Plus my father, plus my grandparents, plus the Naras…

Plus, plus, plus. I'm so blessed.

But this is going to change everything.
I don't want to change everything!

"I think they broke the jutsu," Kakashi said in a low voice.

"How?" Naruto's eyelids were heavy even though her heart began to slowly thump harder in her chest. "Only the caster can break the jutsu, right? Or… What happened with the first two Hokages?" Naruto's vision was going sideways and although she held on as long as possible - long enough so that Tsunade and Kakashi could each take a baby - she sank back into the pillows, sighing as her eyes rolled up in her head.

.

Minato winced as he watched his wife steam in the next room through a special seal: a prototype of her own creation that she had made for interviews or interrogations. Hatake Sakumo was in the room on the other side of them and he looked to be meditating. Why couldn't Kushina do that? Just hang on, Kushi.

His wife really looked like she wanted to burn the village to the ground.

He turned as Inoichi walked into the room. "Hey, 'Ichi. Report?"

"They're both clean," Inoichi sighed, handing over the reports of their Mindwalks. "Yakushi Kabuto was very careful and from what I saw, Yakushi Nono was a mostly unwilling accomplice."

"Did you learn anything new?" Both his wife and her Genin-sensei had been very willing to discuss what had happened to them even before they went to T&I (as guests and informants.) Especially Kushina.

His beloved had a lot to say - and to ask about.

Inoichi twisted his lips and plopped down in a chair. "Kushina mentioned that one of the shinobis Kabuto used the jutsu on is Lord Third. Lord Third is keyed into the village barrier system, is he not?"

"Asuma-kun and one of my clones are already working on that."

"Good," Inoichi said firmly, knowing at least part of the truth behind Hiruzen's demise. "There is more in the report but I can only imagine Kabuto letting go of two of what he called his 'experimental subjects' if it was a test run. There are a lot of rumors out there about how you returned to power."

Minato groaned, feeling furious that his wife or any of his shinobis could be used this way. Or even thought of as experiments! Especially Kushina.

"Considering how many people were reanimated, if Kabuto allows more to leave his nest, they could do a whole lot of damage."

Minato rubbed his stubbly chin. "We need to have sealers trained and prepared throughout the village and at least one person proficient in sealing those souls in every team outside of the village."

Inoichi thought it was a good plan - and it was up to Minato to see if he could figure out how to make it happen. "Another thing is going to come up, Minato," he began, sighing heavily. "Kushina and Sakumo have been through a lot. This is a terribly confusing time for them. Sakumo is clearly suffering from depression and Kushina… Well, I'm afraid Kushina might be dealing with postpartum depression: mentally anyway. We'll also have to keep an eye out for signs of PTSD in both of them. It's early but the signs are there."

Minato winced. When he thought of it that way, it made a few of Kushina's different mannerisms or oddly harsh words make more sense to him. With Sakumo, Minato could already see the depression he clearly remembered the man suffering from at the end of his life was still present. "Is it safe to have them in the village?"

Not that he'd be sending them away. No way. He only wanted to help them.

"With you and Jiraiya as their guards? And Kakashi? –I think so. You might want to keep them disguised." Long-term.

Minato clicked his tongue, wondering how much they'd be willing or able to do that. He quickly read through the report and tried to decide where to go from there.

Later -

Jiraiya sat down next to his old friend and senpai, whom he was guarding. He couldn't imagine what it was like to be dead and then come back to this mess. Minato had done it but that was a somewhat different ball of wax. It had happened during an invasion and Minato was a warrior first and foremost. Kushina and Sakumo had been sent to invade a home birth. It was... worrying. "So how you doin', Sakumo?"

Sakumo stared down in front of him. "I… don't know if I should have gone along with this."

"Ha! It's not like you had much of a choice," Jiraiya laughed with little humor.

"What I meant is, I probably shouldn't have gone along with what Min- what Hokage-sama requested. It's not right that I'm here like this."

"It was the only way to ensure you weren't controlled again," without being sealed. Jiraiya knew what he meant, though. It seemed to him that Hatake Sakumo desperately needed a dunk in the ol' harsh tank of truth! Well, Jiraiya was the master of that! No, you're not, Idiot. That's Tsunade. Ah, well; his sharp-thorned rose of passion and beauty was busy at the moment and he'd have to pick up the slack.

Sakumo shook his head. "The danger he spoke of was the only reason I went along with Hokage-sama's order." He looked up at his fully grown son who had finally made himself visible, dragging along a much curvier Tsunade than he remembered. His son had also just used what he believed was Lord Second's jutsu flawlessly, much as the current Hokage had. "Kaka- OOMPH."

Kakashi had just punched him in the face!

Sakumo shook off Jiraiya who began trying to help him. He licked the blood from his lips and reluctantly pulled out a molar that had come loose in his mouth. "I deserve it." Damn. His son really knew how to throw a punch and gods was he fast.

"I think he heard you say that you're not happy to be alive, Sakumo," Jiraiya said quietly.

"I didn't say that," Sakumo grumbled. That's what he meant, but not what he said.

"Your boy found your body that day." Sakumo looked appropriately ashamed in Jiraiya's opinion. "He's sensitive. Aside from being my biggest fan, it turned him into a complete dick for a while but he's better now."

Biggest fan? –Sakumo blew that off for the moment and nodded, grateful that Kakashi was surrounded by people he respected now, but felt sick. "I don't know what to do."

Jiraiya patted him on the back a couple of times, hard. "Welp. You're considered one of Konoha's greatest heroes now and I want…"

"Don't fuck with me, Jiraiya."

"I'm serious and uninterested in fucking with you. Or fucking you! -Sorry!" He wiggled his eyebrows at him.

Sakumo looked sufficiently appalled.

"I'm going to see my newborn great-grandchildren! Don't you want to see your grandkids? –They're the same tadpoles!"

"Wait. …What?"

"That makes us family, Depressed Genius! –Come on!"

Jiraiya grimaced as he grabbed his old friend's shoulder. Maybe calling him that, accurately or not, had been a step too far. "Family's kinda new to me, Sakumo, but I've figured out one thing, for sure: family means we're here for ya. No one's gonna let you fall this time."

.

Minato rubbed his temples as he followed Kushina around, having forgotten how frustrating it could be to deal with his beautiful wife sometimes when she got really worked up.

It was still hard to believe that she was HERE.

Kushina had been worked up ever since she realized where she was.

* "Why are you ALIVE?! Like a person or something?!"
* "Did you see that wolf?! –What do you mean that was Kakashi? Why would he do that?"
* "How old is my sweet Naru-chan now? Oh, my gods. That was her, right?! Oh my GOD!"
* "MARRIED?"
* "Of course, I'm glad that she's not an unwed mother, you ass! Don't throw my words back at me!"
* "To Kakashi? You can't be serious! That boy had the emotional range of a stump; my poor daughter. What the hell was Mikoto-chan thinking?"
* "WHAT DO YOU MEAN MIKOTO-CHAN'S… NO!"
* "Wait Does that mean she grew up in the care of your pervy sensei? Oh my GODDDD!"
* "WHAT? OH, MY GODS! I'm going to kill Hiruzen! Oh wait; I can't! He's already dead. –Shit!"
* "You and Kakashi-kun killed him? Well, that's good, I guess."
* "And how COULD you? I told you I didn't want to make her a jinchuuriki, 'ttebane!"
* "GAH! Why the hell was that damn fox out?"
* "Too much chakra!? What do you mean she had too much chakra?!"
* "'The Sage of Six Paths?' –Whatchoo talkin' bout, Minato?!"
* "Oh Kami, I'm a GRANDMOTHER! TAKE ME TO THEM!"

Minato rubbed his arm. "Can't I just… I want to touch you," he nearly whimpered pathetically. "Can I have at least a hug, Kushi?"

Kushina kept walking away from him, staying at least a dozen paces ahead, knowing that they were going around in a big circle. "NO! I'm still pissed at you!"

"But… but it happened almost twenty years ago!"

"Not to me! To me, it wasn't even a week ago! And you… you shit! You don't get to do a cavity search on me!"

"That's why I had a Shizune-chan do it, Kushi! You admitted you've been with the enemy. We have to protect Naruto, don't we?" And the village: he was not bringing that up right now, however.

"DUH! That's why I immediately agreed to it! …Hokage-asshole."

"Oh, Kushi. I'm so sorry this is so new and difficult for you. I was in the Shinigami's belly for over three decades, altogether, so it's different for me but I never, ever stopped loving you with all my heart and I've missed you so."

Kushina began to cry. "Dumbass! Don't use your pretty words on me!"

"Kushina… As Hokage I… I need to ask you some questions, too, before I… before we go see the babies?" He was sure that she wanted to see the babies as badly as he did!

"I want to see the babies but HOW can I do it when Naru-chan's supposed to be a baby?! Oh, Gods. How can this be happening?!"

Naru woke up to little baby noises and electric zaps of chakra that were flying through the air like static. She blinked several times at her incredibly frustrated husband and his… father? She pushed some stiff and errant blonde hair strands behind her ear and tried to move toward the bassinet, mindful and embarrassed of how terrible she had to look. That's when she realized where they were. "Are we at the hospital?"

They were definitely at the hospital.

"Naru-chan," Kakashi cried in relief when he saw that she was awake. He helped her sit up more, adjusting some pillows he'd stolen, and placed one fussy pup in her arm, then the other, and then snarled at his father when he stalked back to him.

What in the world?

The two men began whispering to each other. Kakashi was frowning.

Jiraiya waved from the hallway behind them. "There she is! Great job, kiddo! The white hair rocks!"

"It's silver," both Hatakes drawled without glancing at him.

She smiled but Naruto's eyes only darted between the two adult Hatakes. They were both big, and obviously resembled each other a LOT but they couldn't have "felt" any more different aside from the lightning. Kakashi looked on (or past the) edge, was obviously pissed, wearing a mask and yet his compression tank was partially ripped open, revealing one of his big shoulders and awesome pecs. Hatake Sakumo - and it had to be him: Good Gods did that man have a lot of wild, bright silver hair - was just the opposite. Otherwise, they were the same size and had a lot of the same features; their coloring was exactly the same.

Naruto looked at her sleeping babies and wondered if all her genes were oddly recessive or something.

Sakumo looked pained but caught her eye and warmly smiled, bobbing his head at her as he walked away, toward her grandfather. Naruto blushed all over herself so much that it made her dizzy. Kakashi would look good with long hair.

"Um. Was that your dad?" she asked stupidly once the door was closed.

"Yes," Kakashi grumbled. "I'll introduce you two later."

"Did he have a black eye?" Kakashi shrugged.

"What's happening, Kakashi?" She suddenly realized that her father-in-law had looked just as alive as her father now did. She put her face in her hands. Naruto might be dumb, blonde, and slow but she wasn't THAT dumb and slow! "Geez. I am suffering from some serious brain fog - unless I've been drugged."

"Maa, considering how much blood you lost, it's not surprising you feel that way. AND you will not use chakra again until I allow it, do you understand me? I don't care that Kurama retreated into the seal."

A mature woman and mother of two, Naruto wisely stuck her tongue out at him. Then she tried to begin the awkward nursing thing again with the pup who was especially grouchy, laying the other in the seam of her outstretched legs. THIS time she felt something! "Kash. Oh my gods: I think - I think it's working!"

Kakashi almost snorted, shaking his head at her lovingly. "Of course. You're doing well, mate." Naruto smiled beautifully at him even if she looked absolutely wrecked. He hadn't wanted his father or anyone to see her like this! Naru looked much too pale and had dark circles under her eyes even after being treated. She still had blood under her nails and in her hair. She smelled like blood. Plus, now he could see her tits and those were his (although temporarily on loan.) "I'm serious, Naru: no chakra."

She was much too weak for that - and wasn't supposed to be using chakra at all until her own levels had returned and become level. And then she went and threw up a barrier of chains, right after giving birth naturally and having a cesarean. He wouldn't get on her case about that, knowing that she couldn't control the Uzumaki Clan's Hidan; it would probably only make her feel worse and this whole shitshow wasn't her fault.

Naru was certainly too weak for him to allow anyone to see her in this state.

But no: his father had peeked in when Jiraiya did, surprising him, and then had the gall to get on his case that he was about to "force" his wife - HIS wife - to take chakra from him.

He wouldn't have transported her to the damn hospital had she not needed an additional blood and chakra transfusion. Thank goodness Kurama seems to be healing her tenketsu.

So why is she still so pale?

Naruto pretended to try to bite him since he was off in his own world and he bopped her nose. "Behave."

"I will if you tell me what's happening." She squeaked when one of the twins bit her with his little gums. "Oh, my gosh: which one's which?!" The one nursing bit her again. "Hey!" Unfocused blue eyes opened and closed again. That bite was kinda hard!

"Maa, we've been careful about keeping our firstborn on the right."

Naruto blinked at the two babies. "My right or your right?"

Kakashi's head dropped and he slapped his masked cheeks. It took him a minute to get his shit together: it had been a long, difficult couple of days that had culminated in something that was so, so dangerous and nearly unthinkable. He certainly hadn't anticipated his long-buried father and Naruto's deceased mother showing up; they hadn't been revived before. "I forgot."

Despite everything, Naru started laughing. When she gazed down at her babies, the one with the more defined nose opened his blue eyes before closing them again. "My right. I guess. The one on my legs was definitely born second."

Kakashi stood up again so that he could look at them. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, and we need to decide what to name them, Kakashi!" We also need another way to tell them apart. Soon enough, their noses would be identical, she was sure.

Kakashi grumbled and rested his hands on his hips. "They've already brought paperwork for that." Now that they were here, calling them Pup 1 and 2 or A and B didn't feel right, not even short-term. "I've been… fielding suggestions." He'd meant to tell her what was going on but it was too damn painful.

"Like what?"

Kakashi pulled out a piece of paper that had been circulated behind his back at HQ before all of this went down. It looked like almost every one of her ANBU comrades plus a few others had put his or her own name down, wanting their pups to be named after them, aside from four of them. Naruto began quietly laughing again, just like he'd hoped.

"They're idiots. I don't know why I put up with any of them, Naru-chan."

"Kakashi," Naruto finally settled down and gave him an amused look, staring at the one name that four people had chosen. "I'm sorry but no: I am not naming either one of them 'Kakashi.' Your head's big enough already."

Kakashi snorted, mostly agreeing with her. "No. Those few operatives have been excused from ANBU."

"What?" Naruto asked, worried. Kakashi looked embarrassed and Naruto would bet ryo that he still had some admirers that were less than professional within the organization despite their very well-known relationship. Boy did that piss her off. She closed her eyes, needing to get down to what was important right now, though.

She'd deal with any bitches that needed dealing with later.

"What happened?" she asked. Kakashi looked reluctant to tell her. "We were attacked while I was giving birth to our children, Kakashi! I have a right to know! –I need to know!"

Kakashi nodded but didn't say anything for the longest time. He helped burp a baby, very proud but alarmed when he let out a belch like a drunk Tsunade at a gambling hall. Naruto had clutched her heart, afraid that the poor little thing had blown a gasket or something. She fed her other baby and realized just how much time this was going to take: nearly all of her time and focus, 24/7, if she didn't figure out a better way to handle them at the same time.

Kakashi finally let out a loud sigh and went into report mode, telling her what he could (or would.) "Yakushi Kabuto used the Edo Tensei on at least three dozen deceased ninjas. One of them was his own mother, who was believed to be working for him. My father and your mother gave Yakushi Nono the slip and Kushina led…" He paused when he saw Naru wince, guessing she felt a little like he did. "...Otou-san to our house. Your mother assumed her chakra was still coded into the barriers and that they'd be able to meet the current Hokage there to detail their findings and experience with Yakushi, not knowing that Minato was alive and is Hokage."

Naruto nodded, feeling both numb and angry. "And they blew up a wall to get in? They couldn't just use the door?" Maybe she shouldn't be aggravated by that but the explosion had blown a hole in her house, tossing her right off the table she'd been on, and could have easily killed their pups.

Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "No. That was Kurama."

Naruto violently twitched as she focused on her mindscape. "What the fuck, Kurama?"

"Don't blame me! As soon as there were signs of trouble, I left to kill whoever dared threaten you and the chimeras. And who was 'Trouble?' Your bitch mother who was already dead! She came at me with her damned chains. I didn't want to be resealed!"

Naruto huffed. Now she understood - although he sure wasn't being very nice. "Don't call her things like that! I know you don't like her but... Forget it. Seriously, though: you couldn't phase through the wall or something?"

"What am I: Magic? –Don't answer that. And after the seals I've put everywhere? –No way."

Naruto nodded, believing him. She was almost afraid to ask: "Who or what are 'chimeras?'"

"Hell-loo-o? The twins! Part-kit, part-wolf; part-hanyou, part-demon; add in a dash of disgusting human and it makes for All-Trouble."

Naruto sighed tiredly. "Please don't call them that." He was probably right about the "all trouble" moniker but that was something she'd have to be more concerned with in the future.

She had it coming.

Kurama shrugged. "'Hybrids' then." They were his; what he called them was his business. It was Naruto's fault, anyway, since she and the wolf couldn't settle on names.

"We believe we were being watched by the enemy," Kakashi continued. "Sensei and a few of my men are going over the barriers but as soon as Yakushi Nono tried to follow our parents in, Kabuto's jutsu was disengaged."

"He allowed his own mother to… Die again?" How else could Naruto describe it?

Kakashi shrugged; that was his guess, too. "If he has her genetic material, he can use the jutsu to revive her again." Naruto looked like she would be sick; Kakashi understood. "He left her body behind. …I had Tenzo check: our parents' graves were undisturbed."

"Great," Naruto breathed sarcastically. Who the hell had been gathering genetic material from powerful ninjas for decades? Right. Probably Zetsu, Orochimaru, or Obito. "So it's begun again, hasn't it?"

Kakashi took her free hand and pressed a long kiss into her dirty hair before pulling back. "Itachi said he ended Kabuto's jutsu before. I'm sending him and Shisui out with three squads to intercept him."

Naruto shook her head in disbelief as she carefully picked her son up to burp him. Her eyes popped open when he, too, belched like he'd eaten 13 bowls of ramen and needed to make room for more but she had a growing rotten feeling that something could happen to Itachi and Shisui. "Maybe that's what Kabuto wants."

Kakashi didn't look surprised at her thoughts.

"Why would someone as intelligent as Kabuto risk sending his soldiers, whether he thought they were under his control or not, to where my father was? I know that there are rumors among those who don't know that Tou-san: they say he was alive all this time but injured before retaking the Hokage role. But why risk that not being the case? Risk losing control of them? –And there are too many people who know that Tou-san was resurrected. or whatever you want to call him pulling a Madara."

What an awful thing to discuss.

Kakashi bobbed his head. Naruto was still pretty sharp in her observations even in her weakened, tired state. "Kabuto told Kushina very little more than that he'd revised the jutsu. We know it can be used long-range because although they were of free will when escaping and making their way to Konoha, at some point, Kabuto took control of them again."

Naruto held her son closer to her. "They could've killed us."

"Maa, your mother returned to her right mind when she saw Kurama. My father didn't recognize me until I put on my mask. He apparently," here Kakashi swallowed hard, "regained awareness and thought that you were my mother and that… she was dying in front of him again. He said he couldn't move and was trying to figure out what he was seeing."

Naruto blinked several times, trying to wrap her head around that. "Do I look like your mother?" she asked in a small voice.

"Not really," Kakashi admitted, softly smiling a bit when Naruto looked so relieved. "Your hair was soaked with blood and sweat - and you're also beautiful. I - ha - think it was more of seeing a newborn who may have looked like me." That's what he said. Plus, he thought your hair was auburn like my mother's.

Because of the blood…

Naruto couldn't help but smirk as she gazed down at her baby lovingly. Her voice was soft. "They 'may' look like you, huh?" Aside from the currently blue eyes and whisker marks which were exactly like hers, it seemed that she'd given birth to Kakashi's clones.

The couple looked back at each other in fear when it was clear diaper changes were suddenly needed. "Wow. I didn't think they'd be capable of something like this yet." Someone knocked on the door and Shikamaru waltzed in, delighting Naruto. "Shika! You're here right on time to take your first duties as godfather!"

"Troublesome," Shikamaru sighed, not enjoying the faint stink in the room at all. He'd been around babies but preferred when they smelled like baby powder or something. He studied the twins, finding them acceptable although they must look like Kakashi. He did see a little of Naruto in them, though. They were so pale, however: it was a little frightening. "Which one's mine?"

"This one," Naruto grinned. The one on the right was his since she was about to attempt to change his diaper! It was mean but funny.

Kakashi shook his head, reluctant to speak or otherwise let go of the breath he was holding as he changed his first grossly alarming diaper. "No, that one's Gai's godson."

Naruto pouted. "But he's not here to change him."

Shikamaru snorted. "He's waiting in the hallway."

"Smart man," Kakashi muttered, grinning a bit when Naruto gagged over the catastrophe in Puppy 1's diaper. "Don't tell him I said that."

"RIVAL!"

"You're late, Gai," Naruto groused.

Gai grinned from ear to ear but then forced himself to frown at the newborns which was extremely difficult. They were so cute. "What a sad thing: they look like you, Kah-kah-shiii!"

"Yes they do," Kakashi agreed. He tried to resist the itch to lightly cover half of their little faces so no one would know. "Asshole."

"No cursing in front of the puppies," Naru scolded. "And watch yourself, Gai!"

"Troublesome. That rule about cursing is not gonna last!"

.

Naruto drank some water, raising an eyebrow at her father some hours later. He was outrageously, COMICALLY baby-talking the babies who didn't seem at all interested. Earlier, he'd give her a really strange assortment of names so that he didn't have to call either of his grandsons "Puppy."

She shouldn't be surprised at the weird suggestions, considering he wanted to name her after Jiraiya's first (male) protagonist. Naruto liked toads but she was not letting him call them "Tadpole 1 and 2'' or beginning either of their names with "Gama-." Honestly, what was wrong with these men?

She reopened her eyes with a start, realizing that she'd fallen asleep again. Her father was in the middle of discussing something with Kakashi. They looked adorable, each holding a swaddled baby. Kawaii!

"...and your father's also still suffering from depression, Kakashi. We really need to watch them. I'm not sure what you want to do."

"He should move in with us," Naruto said with a yawn. "That way we can keep an eye on him. –Help him, ya know?"

Kakashi studied her, running a long index finger over his masked chin. Now that his father had been cleared, he supposed he could be stationed to protect Naru and the puppies when he had to go back to work. But then again, his father was a young man and Naruto was hotter than sin. Now that she'd been cleaned up and was no longer covered with blood, she was beginning to smell so overwhelmingly delicious that he didn't even want Naru's father in the same room with her! "Maa, you're too attractive."

Naruto and her father shot looks at each other and then both rolled their almost identically colored eyes exactly the same way. "Thanks but um… Are you crazy?" she asked before throwing a clean cloth diaper at him. "Get your head out of the gutter, silly." She knew that she was a mess! What in the world was he thinking?!

"Well, it's something for you two to consider," Minato said diplomatically. "They're both staying at the Senju Compound for now." There was no way he was letting Sakumo return to the Hatake Compound alone or in its current state of disrepair. "Naru, your mother is anxious to meet you."

"No thank you," she said without filter before choking on her words. "Sorry: that's not what I meant!" I think. "I meant… Can I have some time to umm." She gazed at her babies, wondering what her biological mother would think of them - of EVERYTHING - AND if her mother was capable of hurting them whether she wanted to or not. They were so helpless!

Kabuto was a monster; she wouldn't put anything past him. She glanced up just in time to see Kakashi and her father giving each other a skeptical, knowing look. Seems they didn't believe how she rationalized her earlier reaction. "I don't know what to do. –I really don't."

Two days later: the same day Naru was released from the hospital -

Sakumo wasn't sure about this at all but he guessed that if he could help his son and his young family out, that was the least he could do after… everything. Allowing his henge to fall away in front of the manor, he adjusted the pack that was over his shoulder. "I hope you guys know what you're doing." It still blew him away that his Kakashi wound up marrying Konoha's princess.

He trusted Jiraiya and Tsunade, he really did. Although seeing the two of them as happy newlyweds is one large, weird pill to swallow. He still wondered if Kushina was pranking him (or all of them) about that often enough. –Or maybe it was Nawaki.

Gods, meeting him was a trip. He and the once younger man had spent the past couple of nights sipping whiskey, catching up, and playing cards, the former of which Nawaki warned him his sister would have a cow over if she ever learned of it.

Gods had that poor guy lived a rough life…

"Depressed" or not, Sakumo wanted them all to stop treating him like a damn baby. He was a shinobi; they all were: their jobs were rough! He could admit to being a little excited about spending a day or so helping out his son and pups; of getting to know his wife. Kakashi sure was protective of her. He'd spent several hours with his son and a little time observing his newborn pups but only when other people were visiting with Naruto at the hospital. He was a little surprised he'd been invited over to the place Kakashi said was built for the Yondaime.

Jiraiya knocked on the door, nearly dancing a jig. Sakumo couldn't help but grin. Kakashi answered the door in his ever-present mask looking as irritated as ever while tenderly holding one of his newborn sons against his chest. "Yo, Kakashi."

"Yo!"

"Named your tadpoles yet?" Jiraiya asked eagerly as he pulled off his sandals. He quickly moved forward, eager to make faces at the little ones. Their first smiles were definitely going to be at him.

"Maa, there are so many choices." Kakashi waved the question of names off noncommittally, returning to his wife's side. He grinned as his father stepped into the living area, looking around at the place and all the bright colors. It was definitely different from their old place. His father's eyes fell on Naruto and went wide, his mouth falling slightly open. Yep, my wife is gorgeous.

Kakashi wrapped his arm around her, pulling her even closer. Naruto gingerly tried to get up and he pulled her back down. She pouted at him and did it again - and so did he.

"I need to properly greet your father, Kash," she whispered.

"Maa, you need to rest, Naru-chan. So," he said, grinning up at his father. "What do you think?"

"Maa, I think I did a double or triple-take. Forgive me for staring, Naruto-hime," (Kakashi snorted when Naruto jumped and squeaked,) "I thought I was looking at either Kushina-chan or Tsunade-hime for a second!"

Naruto sucked in a deep breath, ignoring her grandmother who began bitching that Naruto was shorter than either of them - undoubtedly to tease her. She'd get her for that later. "You honor me. Welcome to our home, honored father!" She meant it but felt like this kind of shit was way out of her depth. "It's such a great pleasure to meet you!" That was true!

Kakashi sighed and almost rolled his eyes (trying not to grin.) His wife was all nervous and smiling with so much energy that he felt like he was being baked by the sun she was. She was going to zonk out after this, for sure. "At ease, Naruto."

"You're at ease," she sassed back and then grinned at Kakashi's father again. "I'm going to hug you if that's okay." She got up again and Kakashi pushed her down.

"It's not," Kakashi said, giving her a dry look. "No touchies."

"Oh, come on, Kakashi!" She looked up in surprise when Sakumo began laughing.

Glancing over at her husband, Naru could see that he was surprised - but pleased - with that reaction, too.