The diner was essentially deserted except for Conrad, myself and the waiter.
"Hawaiian right?" Conrad asked.
I began to correct him when he said, "with extra pineapple. I haven't forgotten"
He said it so confidently, yet he held my eye contact to make sure he'd gotten it correct.
I'm always surprised to discover the little details Conrad noticed about me while acting like he doesn't care.
"You surprise me sometimes" I said lighthearted while still holding his eye contact. His eyes shifted down to my neck where the silver chain rested.
"So do you", Conrad said softly.
I picked a booth by the window and carried water over to our table while Conrad ordered. I expected him to sit across from me and was surprised for the second time tonight when he slid right beside me.
He was looking at me so intently that I forgot how to speak. I turned away from him and pretended to be interested in something outside. Shivers spread across my whole body as I felt his fingers brush me neck. When I turned back towards him I realised he'd uncovered my infinity necklace.
Blood rushed to my face and I raced to find an excuse when he said "It looks good on you".
The embarrassment washed away and I asked "this was for my birthday last summer right?"
When he nodded, I whispered "why didn't you just give to me?"
"I don't know! I was embarrassed I guess. Belly, you make me nervous. And I'm sorry I was a dick last summer, and I'm sorry about prom. I just didn't know about to deal with how my emotions and I feel like you're the one the copped my BS the most and I'm sorry" Conrad looked away and started fidgeting with his hands. He was nervous. I made him nervous.
"I'm sorry I pushed you to come to prom. I guess a dance seemed stupid when your mum was sick. But my night was perfect for a moment there Conrad" I felt a sudden urge to reach out and tilt his face towards me.
"My mum wanted me to make the night perfect you for, and I fucked it up. I think about that night all the time. How I could've done things differently. And then at mom's funeral when I blamed you for being a kid, when I'm the kid that couldn't cope... I was wrong. I was so sad and so angry. But then you showed up at the summer house with Jere and there were times that I forgot mom was gone. You always make things better Belly. You're like magic. And you make me want to be better". He was looking at me now and I was crying.
I hugged him. I really hugged him. I hugged him how I should've hugged him at Susannah's funeral. And for the first time in a long while, I felt hope.