A featherlight tickle on my neck is enough to wake me up. I open my eyes and think I'm still dreaming. Conrad Fisher is in my bed, laying on his side and gently playing with the infinity necklace around my neck.

He must have notice how dazed I was because he let out a soft guttural laugh. He gently kissed my forehead and said: "Good morning Belly".

I could die right here, in this moment, and die a very happy girl. But then I realised what was waiting for me today. My mother.

I tempted falling back asleep to avoid my problems but my body was alive with excitement caused by Conrad's bed hair.

"What time is it?" I asked as I softly brushed the hair out of his eyes. His fringe was growing out.

"It's only 6.30am. You can go back to sleep". He whispered.

I just stared at him - knowing there was no way I could go back to sleep before I came up with some sort of plan. And figured out how to crush those butterflies in my stomach. Conrad is not my boyfriend, I remind myself. At best, he's a confusing situationship. Only yesterday, his younger brother confessed he was in love with me. Conrad has proven that he is not capable of being in a relationship while dealing with his mom's death- and who could blame him? Talking about mothers and death: mine will probably try to kill me as soon as she finds out Conrad slept in my bed last night. Except, it's Conrad- so surely she'll understand. Right?

"Belly- are you ok?" Conrad asked while smiling.

"Mhmm" was all I could manage.

"I sleep so good when I'm next to you Belly" he said suddenly so serious.

Right. I need to DTR. Define The Relationship.

"I don't think I can do this yet" I said.

"What? Wake up?" He asked.

"No! This.. us.. I don't know. I'm just so confused. I feel like no matter what I do, someone ends up getting hurt" I'm speaking so quietly because I'm not ready for the chaos of Steven or Mom waking up.

Conrad shifts but keeps looking at me, waiting for me to elaborate. I'm having trouble finding the words.

"Do you mean Jere? He'll be ok Belly. He's your best friend. That won't change" He says it with such confidence that I almost believe him.

"Yeah, Jere. But also you and me. I stand by what I said yesterday. We're all still grieving and I don't want things getting complicated again."

"Yeah obviously we are still grieving. Honestly? I don't know if l will ever stop grieving. But you are the least complicated thing in my life Belly. You make things feel normal again, but you always make me excited for the future. Because I know, one way or another- you're going to be in it. You're the only constant variable that I've got. And if that's only as friends, then I'm going to have to learn to be ok with that. But what I feel for you? It's more then friends. It's more then some crush. It's always been more with you. Don't you know that?"

I can't talk. If I talk, I'll cry. But he's looking at me so intensely.

"I'm just scared" I say shakily. He gently wipes away a single tear that escaped down my face.

"OK. So am I. You're like the most important thing in my life. But we just take things slow. We do it right this time. Ok?" He asked nervously.

Instead of answering, I kiss him softly on the lips. It's a long, slow kiss. Because we have time. We have infinity.