"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.

It will not lead you astray."

~ Rumi

CHAPTER TWO: THE PULL

BPOV

I could not put my finger on exactly what it was that had changed so irrevocably. All I knew was that things had... shifted, somehow. It wasn't just that having an immortal back in my presence had done something towards easing the aching hole inside of me. It was something else. As if some essence had seeped inside of me and jumbled things up, set things askew so that some things which had been pressing, painful... were now that bit further away. And other things, things that I had pushed down, suppressed even... they were closer. Uncovered. Exposed.

I just couldn't quite ascertain what those things were, yet.

I came back to myself suddenly, and brought my attention back to Carlisle. We were standing there in silence, his thumbs running back and forth over my hands, his eyes lowered and fixated on them. He seemed to be searching for the right words, which unnerved me, because he had always seemed to know what to say, what to do, in his ancient and otherworldly calm way.

"I hope you can forgive us, Isabella," he said eventually. "And forgive me. We have caused you far too much pain. I know I should not expect anything otherwise, given our nature, but..."

"Carlisle, stop! You are not to blame. There is nothing to forgive. Edward led both of us awry. With, I suppose, his usual, misguided, best intentions."

I studied his face, the tension and pain written in his pores. "It's alright."

I turned my hands over to lace my fingers with his and squeeze them tightly, reassuringly. He finally looked up and gazed intently at me, though the pain had not left his eyes.

"You don't have to keep being so gracious about us, Bella," he muttered, and I wondered why in the world I felt bereft at him saying Bella, and not Isabella.

"You don't have to keep being so apologetic for your very existence," I rebuked, and he smiled a little at that. The smile almost reached his eyes, but not quite. I found myself suddenly desperate to return it there, where it belonged, shining in his beautiful, wise eyes. I wondered why it had left them.

"Have any of the others come back with you?" I ventured. I did not expect Edward to have, but I figured Esme had to be with him, and possibly Alice and Jasper. But to my surprise, he shook his head.

"No. It is just me. I'm sorry..."

There was fresh pain in his voice. I realised that he thought I was probably hoping Edward would be with him.

"Don't be sorry... I didn't mean... or expect... him..." I faltered. "I'm glad it's you here."

And then, the question I hardly dared ask.

"Will you be... staying... long?"

He took a slow breath, and released my fingers, moving back a little. He ran one hand through his dishevelled hair. I almost trembled at the loss of his touch.

"I had intended to come back and stay here, if it was favourable to you," he said softly. "My intention is only strengthened, knowing that Victoria is stalking you. I will not let her harm you, Isabella."

"So, the others will come back too? Esme, Alice, Jas..."

I trailed off, because his expression was decidedly off.

"Carlisle?"

Silence.

"Carlisle... is anyone else with you? Is anyone else coming back?"

He let out a long sigh.

"No. I am here alone, and most likely will be for the foreseeable future."

I had no words. Why?

"I'm sorry," I whispered, taking a step back, mortified. "I've broken your family..."

He let out a small, somehow bitter, laugh at that.

"No. You haven't, Bella. Not you. Never you."

Curiosity stirred in me at the vehemence with which he spoke those last words, but my mind was too preoccupied with how the others could possibly have left him all alone.

"Then why?"

"Because of my own decisions. I would prefer to leave it at that, for now. It is too fresh for me to talk about. I'm sorry."

He moved away from me very suddenly, as if he had unexpectedly found it impossible to be near me, and for a second, I was reminded of Edward's initial reaction to being near me in our first science lesson together, all those long months ago. I frowned.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he replied with another smile that didn't reach his eyes, and I knew at once he was lying. But I didn't press. He had made it clear that whatever was going on, he wasn't ready or willing to discuss it, not yet.

"Charlie is almost home," he said, suddenly, and in a flash he was at the door. "I'll see myself out. I'm glad to see you, Isabella, truly I am. I won't be far, I feel it is probably best to keep a peripheral eye on the house, in case Victoria makes an appearance. I know the... wolves... are keeping watch. But still. I would feel better knowing for myself that you are kept safe."

"Thank you." I licked my lip, and smiled awkwardly at him. My mind was in a daze. Not just from the shock of him being here, but from everything he had said, or rather what he hadn't said. And from the palpable change in energy between us.

He nodded, and then he was gone.

I stood, shivering in the sudden emptiness that I felt, now that his presence had left me. Staring at the door, as if memorising every atom of him, in case he never came back again.

Somehow, for some reason, I felt the overwhelming realisation that if he didn't, it would feel even more soul crushing, even more life destroying, than Edward leaving.

Lights flashed into the window. Charlie's car pulled into the drive. I blinked, and forced myself to move, keen to shut myself away in my room before he got in. But for the first time in months, it wasn't to mope or mourn. It was to wonder, and to contemplate, and to hope.

And to try and wrap my head around why suddenly, despite the emptiness still clawing at my insides, the dark hole still emanating its deep hurt inside my heart, I was barely even thinking of Edward, let alone mourning his loss, or missing his presence.

My head was filled only with sad, wise, ancient eyes, and blond hair, and cold thumbs gliding over the tingling skin of my hands, and the intense need to ease his unspoken pain.

Carlisle.

Everything had, indeed, irrevocably changed.

xxx

There was a hammering at the door as I stood in the kitchen, making Sunday breakfast for Charlie and I. Charlie opened it and I could hear greetings between him and Billy. I froze, knowing that Jacob was most likely with him too.

Moments before, I had been glad of the interruption. Charlie had been commenting on how much better I appeared, and how much happier, and that in his opinion, Jacob clearly had a lot to do with it. I clammed up, fully aware that whatever had or hadn't been simmering between Jake and I over the last few weeks, it was all blown into the water now.

I shrugged it off, and Charlie had looked at me curiously, about to say something, before the knocking at the door distracted him.

Now, however, I wasn't so sure the interruption was a good one.

"Hey Bella," I heard Billy say as they came into the house.

"Hey Billy," I responded cheerfully, and then added, slightly less so, "Jake."

Charlie threw me another curious look, before asking if they were hungry.

"Throw some more bacon in the pan, Bella," he chuckled at their enthusiastic response.

I did so, painfully aware that both Billy and Jake were staring at me, and surmised that Jacob had probably told everyone about Carlisle's sudden return. Even if he hadn't, the pack would know. There was no hiding their thoughts, after all.

There was a brief silence as everyone got comfy around the table, before Billy broke it.

"I hear Doctor Cullen is back in town," he said, the slightest note of distaste in his tone. Charlie looked up in surprise.

"What? When?"

"Last night," replied Jacob, and I could feel his eyes burning into me. I ignored him and focused on serving up the food, refusing to turn around. I guessed Charlie was probably throwing me worried glances.

"Why is he back? Is he... alone?"

Yup, Charlie was definitely concerned.

"You should ask Bella," Jacob said, feigning innocence. "He was here when I dropped her home yesterday. She's the only one who has spoken to him, so far."

I heard my father draw in a breath, and I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the barrage of questions. Last night, I had made it to my room, feigning near-sleep when Charlie had called out to see if I was okay, and attempted some conversation. Gripping two of the plates, I turned abruptly, forced a smile onto my face, and plonked the plates down on the table, probably a little too hard.

Charlie was looking at me quizzically.

"Doctor Cullen was here last night?" he said, somewhat accusingly. "And you didn't think to tell me?"

"I was tired, dad. And there isn't anything significant to tell," I mumbled, turning back to grab the other two plates. My appetite had suddenly disappeared on me, however. I sat down at the table and stabbed at my food with my fork.

"Bells," Charlie sighed. "You were practically catatonic when Edw... when they left. The fact that one of the family is back in town, and has spoken to you, is pretty damned significant. Are you... alright?"

"I'm fine," I insisted, stuffing some of the bacon into my mouth simply so I didn't have to say anything else for a moment or two.

The three of them regarded me warily.

"You were pretty darn glad to see each other," Jacob said eventually. "I'd say it was quite significant, from what I saw."

I glared at him.

"Fine," I snapped.

Why is this irritating me so much? It's just Carlisle. Tell them what happened.

"He came here to see how I was. He apologised for the way that they left. It was Edward's wish, he wasn't in agreement with upping and leaving the way that they did..."

"Well, he should have thought about that before bowing to the whim of one of his kids," Charlie muttered. "But at least he is sorry. Always was surprised that he disappeared like that, being the respectable man that he is."

Billy almost choked on his bacon. Jacob snorted and looked at the ceiling.

I continued before Charlie could ask what the problem was.

"He's decided to come back to Forks. He... he wanted to check that I would be okay with that, before he laid down plans."

Charlie huffed and banged his fist on the table.

"Damnation!" he exclaimed, "You're just getting back to a good place, Bells, and they're all coming back here? Son of a..."

"It's just him, dad," I interjected, hurriedly. "Edwar... he... they... none of the others are coming back."

There was a silence.

"How come? What's happened?" Charlie asked, and I could tell this information had totally taken him by surprise. As it had me.

"I don't know," I said honestly. "He... wasn't ready to talk about it, yet."

Charlie grunted, his mystery-solving mind clearly racing, seeking out potential threads of reason. "Wife left him? Kids stayed with her, maybe?"

He was talking to himself as much as to us.

I swallowed.

Why does that possible scenario make me so sad, so guilty, and yet also...

I looked down and speared more bacon. I could feel blood rushing to my cheeks.

Why does that scenario also give me a tiny thrill?

I chewed furiously, keeping my head down. I couldn't look at anyone right now.

Blue shirt. Blond hair. Butterscotch eyes. Pain. Sad. Put the smile back into his eyes again.

Jacob coughed. My heart rate spiked. Why was this such an issue, it wasn't like he had come back...

"Ow!'

I cursed loudly as I accidentally bit my tongue in my tensed up state. Great going Bella, now everyone is looking at you even more.

At least I now have an excuse for blushing.

Why the fuck am I blushing anyway?

I shot all of them a look that said, "Don't even think about saying anything," and thankfully, they all looked down and continued eating their breakfasts.

"That was good, Bella, thank you," Billy said when he had finished. Then to my father, "Well whatever his reasons for coming back here, I can't say I'm happy about it."

"Me either," Charlie replied in agreement. "Heck, Bells even went her first night since... everything... without waking with a nightmare last night. I don't want all this progress ruined."

I looked up in surprise; I hadn't even realised. But yes... last night had been the first night I had not dreamed of Edward. Of him leaving. Of the woods. Of the pain.

I sensed the others tensing. Charlie's own words sank in as he realised the implication of what he had said.

My first night without a nightmare. The night that Carlisle came and spoke to me.

That was no coincidence.

I almost laughed. None of them would want to admit out loud that perhaps Carlisle being here was a help, not a hindrance.

Blue shirt. Pale skin. His thumbs brushing over my mine...

My breath hitched at the memory and the sensation that came with it. My stomach flipped, and I felt a strong pulling sensation within my entire being. Like I instinctively needed to be somewhere else, right now. Not here. Away. Somewhere... no... with someone...

I gripped the edge of the table, pushed it all down. The sensation faded, but was replaced with an ache. A deep, terrible ache, as if my entire existence depended on something that was not within my current reach, and my soul was withering without it.

What the hell?

"Bella?"

Charlie was looking at me with concern. So was Jacob.

"Are you okay?"

"I... feel sick..." I mumbled, and rose quickly to rush to the bathroom.

I just about made it to the sink before I started retching. I vaguely heard my dad make a lame joke about hoping I hadn't given them all food poisoning, before my head swam.

Blue shirt, the scent of vanilla, blond hair, eyes like endless pools, icy embrace, strong arms...

What the hell was happening to me?

I retched again, but as before, nothing came out of my mouth. Whatever was churning violently inside me, it wasn't borne of any physical ailment.

I grabbed the edge of the sink to steady myself. The room span, then returned to normal. I took a few shaky breaths, and stopped fighting the feelings, allowing the image of Carlisle to wash over me. I felt immediately calmed, and the awful sensations faded away again.

What on earth?

All that remained was the pull. Without thinking, I followed it.

"Bells, are you okay?"

Charlie leapt up as I charged across the kitchen, grabbing my coat and scuffing my Converse shoes on.

"Where are you going?"

His tone shot up a pitch.

"Bella, you're not well!"

"I'm fine," I insisted. I had to get out, had to get out, had to go...

I felt Charlie's hand grab my arm and I flung him off, practically growling at him in the process. He let me go like I was a hot poker. I stared at him, gaping for a moment. Did I just...

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I just need some air. I'll be fine, honestly. I'll be back later."

I all but ran out of there, straight to my truck. Without even thinking about what I was doing, I let my sudden rush of instinct and adrenaline take over. I started the truck, moved off the drive, and let that instinct steer me in the direction this overwhelming pull was taking me.

To the Cullen house.

To him.

To Carlisle.

xxx

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(Yes, I was quick to get this second chapter up, I had this mostly written already and was eager to finish it. But don't worry, I am still working hard on the next chapter for my other story, Bella's Heart Song, too!)