Sorry for the long update in between chapters. These last 6-7 months have been some of the hardest I've ever endured in my life. There were a lot of deaths on both me and my husband's side of the family, all unexpected. Notably, both of my paternal grandparents passed away within a month of each other. This loss has been so heavy and painful; they were both the reason I even got into writing and had such a significant impact on my life, and myself as a person. As my uploading will continue to be sporadic as my family processes the loss of our loved ones, I want to dedicate this chapter to them - I know they would want me to keep writing and carry on.
I love you all, thank you for your continued support as I venture further into this story.
-Ash
The trip to Earth felt like it was taking years; as if Normandy had entered the event horizon of a black hole and time had slowed to a stand still.
Shepard's head pulsed violently as she pulled on her red N7 armor gingerly over her bruised body. Her newly stitched forehead was far too sensitive for her to pull back her hair in her usual tight bun style. She braided it back sloppily, not caring about loose strands falling around her face. Sweat had already begun beading on her forehead just from the effort of dressing herself alone; she wondered gravely how she'd even survive stepping onto the battleground on Earth.
Dr. Chakwas' conversation haunted her mind. She retreated to her cabin as Chakwas informed Hackett and James of what was going on, Shepard couldn't bear to listen to their reactions. She knew if Kaidan heard any of this, he would damn near halt the final assault to force her to stay on board.
The feelings of shame and fear clung to her like a fatal, incurable plague. Anxiety left a metallic taste in her mouth, while the threat of bile coming up mixed sourly together. She held it down.
"Shepard, Admiral Hackett and The Fifth Fleet will be meeting the Normandy in approximately eleven minutes." EDI's voice announced in Shepard's cabin.
"Almost ready…" Shepard managed to reply, visibly grimacing as she pulled her pauldron on.
"Perhaps I should notify Major Alenko that you need assistance?" EDI suggested gently.
"No, no, I don't need him worrying more than he already is…"
"Very well, Shepard. Everyone is prepared and waiting in the CIC. Let me know if you require assistance."
Shepard barely had the strength to wave the AI off. Her head was pounding so severely she could barely focus. Shepard rarely wore her helmet, but today she knew she needed the extra protection. Before she began the painful process of putting it on, she limped over to her nightstand and opened the compartment. She wasn't proud of herself, but she had stolen a handful of Traynor's Sucrocapsunol medication, as well as some of the medbay's heavy narcotics. Shepard popped a couple, dry-swallowing the pills. The texture made her throat go instantly dry and chalky, but the feeling of discomfort was nothing compared to the pain of her near brain aneurysm.
Shepard gingerly put on her helmet, grunting in pain as the material rubbed against her fresh stitches. She took a second to compose herself then headed for the cabin door. She gazed at her fish, swimming around, unknowing to the horrifying and uncertain world outside the Normandy's hull. She stopped to look at her hamster, sleeping soundly in its cage. Staring at her pets made her feel weirdly sentimental, and the feeling only continued as the framed picture of Kaidan holographically flickered into view. She lifted up the picture, feeling guilt pang in her heart once again. She constantly felt as if she was letting him down. The night before infiltrating Cerberus had been like a dream. He had made it clear that he loved her and would always be there for her, but she continues to bury her fears and push him away. Kaidan had been injured and almost killed by Kai Leng, and she had not even checked up on him since the debriefing.
Now with the possibility of her being indoctrinated, she wondered if things between them could ever return to normal.
"I'm a horrible girlfriend."
Shepard placed the picture back down on her desk. This could be the countdown to their final moments together and she was wasting it.
"EDI?" Shepard called out, the sound of her voice somewhat warped coming from her helmet.
"Yes, Shepard?"
"Where's Kaidan?"
"Major Alenko is in the CIC with the rest of the crew. Admiral Hackett has just arrived on The Fifth Fleet and is now requesting to board." EDI informed.
"Damn, that was a fast eleven minutes…" Shepard mumbled, picking up her pace the best she could as she headed toward the cabin door.
"Are you going to inform Major Alenko of your condition?" EDI asked before Shepard could leave.
Shepard stopped, "what?"
EDI appeared to go mute for a moment, like she was in thought.
"I overheard what you and Dr. Chakwas discussed in the medbay earlier." A hint of shame seemed to ring in EDI's synthesized voice.
"You spying on me again?" Shepard demanded, clenching her fists angrily at the lack of privacy.
"I was concerned for you. Your behavioral patterns have been unusual, and your injuries sustained on Cronos Station were severe. Your failsafe plan with Lieutenant Vega-"
"Drop it, EDI, that's confidential. If word got out about my possible ailment the entire plan could be compromised, understand?" Shepard snapped.
"Very well, Shepard." EDI's voice went quiet.
Shepard continued to the elevator before the AI could get another word in.
Hackett boarded the Normandy with two other soldiers for protection. Shepard thought it almost silly to drag along bodyguards like a celebrity, but she kept her distracted thoughts to herself. As the Normandy crew saluted as he passed, Shepard noted how focused and serious he seemed in this very moment, and the look of uncertainty he was giving her was irritating to say the least.
"Shepard, are you sure you're ready for this?" Hackett's gruff voice cut into Shepard's wandering thoughts.
"Yes, sir."
"Dr. Chakwas' report concerned me… and that's putting it lightly. This mission cannot fail, Commander, you know what's at stake."
"I'm well aware." Shepard replied in hushed frustration.
Hackett was silent for a moment, then turned toward Traynor, who Shepard didn't realize was standing by them. She glanced at Shepard curiously but didn't say a word.
"Let's get the fleets ready then." Hackett ordered.
Traynor turned toward the galaxy map, holding a data pad as she assisted in contacting the fleets. Lights on the galaxy map began to ping as the fleets hailed their quick responses.
Gotta love quantum computing. Shepard thought to herself.
"All fleets reporting in, sir." Traynor announced as Hackett stepped up to the galaxy map.
The rest of Shepard's crew, Kaidan, James, Tali, Javik, Liara, and EDI entered from the war room. Shepard kept her attention on Hackett, he started giving a monolog about the galaxy coming together, but Shepard's head hurt too much to fully tune in. She was thankful for her helmet, that way her crew couldn't see the full state she was in.
Kaidan stood beside her. She fought the urge to lean on him, wanting nothing more than to be comforted by his warmth. She could feel James' eyes staring at the back of her neck, knowing the failsafe order must've shaken him badly. She dared not glance behind her, knowing the feeling of looking in the lieutenant's eyes would break her; her mentality was far too weak to bear it.
Hackett announced his departure, then immediately called Shepard to follow him into the War Room. She kept her head down, fixating her focus on walking since the helmet was messing with her spacial awareness. Concentrating on both walking and talking was difficult for her at the moment.
"The Sword fleets are ready to strike at the Reapers surrounding Earth. While they keep the enemy engaged, you and Hammer ground forces can take London." Hackett explained.
He noticed Shepard lagging behind, she slowed her pace to a stop when the admiral mentioned London.
"London? Why aren't we hitting the Citadel directly?"
"Anderson can brief you on that," he replied with a heavy sigh.
In the comm room Anderson holographically flickered into view. Shepard had avoided speaking to Anderson for awhile, she felt bad but knew he would press her until she admitted to everything that was bothering her. Once again she was thankful for the helmet shielding her face.
"Admiral, how're you holding up?" Hackett asked.
"We're ready to end this," Anderson answered tiredly, a digital display of the Crucible appeared beside him. "But as you can see, the station's closed itself since it appeared over London." He continued. The Citadel display closed its arms beside him.
"Dammit! Got to get the arms open to dock the Crucible." Shepard swore harshly.
"Exactly." Hackett replied.
"But London is surrounded by Hades cannons. Hammer transports can't land while they're active. You lead a squadron of smaller shuttles, infiltrate with a ground team to take out the cannons using heavy weapons. Then Hammer can land, and we'll set up a Forward Operations Base." Anderson explained, his eyes set on Shepard.
Shepard wondered sickly to herself how she would pull this off in her current state.
"I still don't see how we're getting to the Citadel from London," she answered.
Another digital holograph of a scaled display flickered into view beside Anderson.
"The Reapers use this beam to transport human and alien life, alive and dead, to the Citadel. From the FOB, Hammer will launch an all out assault on the Citadel Beam. Everyone who makes it that far will take the beam to the Citadel, then locate and activate the Citadel arm controls."
"Once we see those arms, Shield Fleet will escort the Crucible to the Citadel. But timing will be critical, we don't have enough firepower to keep the Crucible safe for long." Hackett added to Anderson's run down.
"So, we're charging in the open straight for the enemy? Like soldiers on D-Day on the beaches? It's going to be a massacre down there." Shepard replied gravely.
"But the Allied troops' invasion was successful, was it not? It'll be fitting since this ship is named the Normandy after all." Hackett said, gruffly.
She knew it wasn't going to be easy and that they didn't have any other strategy they could use.
"I know it's desperate, I don't even want to guess at our odds." Anderson agreed with a hint of empathy in his voice for Shepard's concerns.
"But this is the only plan we have. If we wait the Reapers bleed us slowly. Conventionally we can't defeat the Reapers without the Crucible." Hackett chimed in, his tone stern and almost aggressive.
He turned to face Shepard; she could sense his frustration with her doubt about the plan, and the obvious signs she didn't seem prepared. She knew that the possibility of her being indoctrinated added to his anxiety.
"Get the Citadel arms open, Commander, whatever the cost! We'll do the rest."
Hackett began to march out.
"Yes, sir." Shepard added, her voice quiet.
Hackett stopped a moment, then turned back to face Anderson and Shepard.
"Good luck, to all of us."
The ride in the Kodiak was silent and thick with tension. The sound of explosions and war outside the hull of the carrier created turbulence, yet she watched Cortez keep his cool as he flew them down to Earth. Kaidan and James hadn't said a word, and both for different reasons. Kaidan out of an awkward wall Shepard had created between them, and James because of his order to put her down if the Reapers seize control of her body. There was nothing she could say to ease anyone's fears, anxiety was expected.
Shepard had assigned the extra teams before exiting the Normandy, the roster was larger than she was used to.
Tali, Javik and Liara would be assisting with ground support, while EDI would also be on the ground assisting with any computing or technological repairs needed. Also assisting on the ground would be Wrex and Grunt with a group of krogan, Kasumi with her tech, Miranda, Samara, and Jacob with their training and biotics, Jack with her students' biotic barriers helping those on the front lines, and Zaeed as EDI's bodyguard as she traveled physically between teams.
Having all the extra assistance felt strange but also familiar, like the suicide mission back on the Collector base. The stakes were also high with this mission, but something about this one had more of a sense of finality behind it.
Joker's image appearing on the Kodiak's screen, cutting through the silence like a knife. Shepard jumped up, antsy from the adrenaline.
"Advance teams are away, Hammer's in position and waiting for you guys to clear a path. Normandy's rejoining Sword." He informed the stoic group.
"Stay safe, we'll be back before you know it." Shepard replied, but her voice didn't sound confident.
Joker hesitated briefly. "I'll hold you to that, Normandy out."
The screen went black.
"We're closing in on the LZ, Commander." Cortez announced.
Shepard hobbled her way up toward Cortez, the bumpy ride further messed with her balance. She gripped the back of the Kodiak piolet's chair for support, hoping no one would notice her struggling to stand.
"How's it look?" She asked, although part of her didn't want to know the answer.
"Like hell, look for yourself."
Just as she feared, London looked like a gray, pale collapsed city that was about to be reduced to ash. Rubble from buildings and burning military vehicles cluttered the streets. Even more concerning was that the streets looked deserted.
"God, it doesn't even look like home anymore," James commented gravely, watching the grim scene from the Kodiak screen behind her.
The turbulence picked up as the nearby Reaper defending the Citadel Beam launched its defense turret, sending a deadly laser toward the Kodiaks. Shepard could hear Cortez swear, saying something about being 'locked on'. The Kodiak traveling beside theirs didn't maneuver out of the way in time, the laser made direct contact and it exploded.
"That was the squad responsible for taking out that defense turret." Cortez updated the team.
"Who's on it now?" Kaidan asked.
"Nobody in the vicinity, all either deployed or shot down." Cortez answered.
Remembering Hackett's plan of attack made Shepard realize how important it was to take out that turret. There was no hope for a full frontal assault.
"Drop us off," Shepard demanded.
"Ma'am?" Cortez aghast.
"We have to take that thing out before Hammer can land." Shepard explained.
Cortez agreed, while Shepard turned toward her wary teammates, bringing up her omni-tool's comm to inform the rest of the team. Her headache surged in revolt, but she shook it off the best she could.
"Change of plans, people. Kaidan, James and I are going to take out the Hades Cannon, the team responsible for it was shot down. Team Mako, we're going to most likely need additional ground support making it to the cannon. We're going to check the downed shuttle to see if any of the heavy weapons made it." Shepard explained, sending a set of coordinates as she spoke. "Meet us here at this rendezvous point."
"Understood Shepard," Liara responded, Shepard could hear background noise of Reapers and gunfire. Javik and Tali said something to each other, but she couldn't fully make it out.
"Are you going to need more help?" Miranda chimed in.
"Not sure yet, at the moment focus on continuing biotic support for the troops in your area. I'll keep in contact in case we run into any snags."
"This is gonna be hell!" James warned.
As Cortez began to lower the Kodiak, Reaper ground forces had already begun to swarm them, shooting at the vehicle before the door even opened. She could faintly hear Kaidan commanding them to go, leaping out of the Kodiak before it got too damaged. Shepard followed them out, her head swimming and muscles pulsing. Even though the three of them worked well together, the chaos was nonetheless almost too overwhelming. The power of the Hades Cannon made the entire ground shake, and the light of the beam was blinding. In Shepard's current state she couldn't handle it, she stumbled behind cover, sloppily shooting a Cannibal at close range with her Black Widow as she did so. Kaidan and James continued to shoot at the herd of forces out in the opening, swiftly jumping and dodging. She felt bad for not being at peak performance, especially when her abilities counted the most at this moment. She went to throw a bundle of biotic grenades before the cannon launched again, taking out two Marauders as James added a Carnage.
The team managed to move up, concentrating as much as they could on everything going on. It was night time in London, and combined with the heavy clouds and smoke from the attack it was extremely difficult for Shepard to see out of her helmet. Switching on night mode made the light from the cannon piercing, but she knew she didn't have a choice. The Big Ben came into view as the three of them fought their way forward. Shepard could barely marvel at how the old clock tower was still standing, not when the very existence of the human race hung in the balance.
Brutes joined the fray as the three of them crossed into a courtyard beside a blown out building. Tali lit up Shepard's comm to let her know they were almost at their location. Shepard couldn't reply, the cannon launch had caused her to become too dizzy and fall down to one knee. A Marauder charged at her, shooting a barrage of bullets in her direction. She was unable to see through the scope of her Black Widow, throwing up a barrier helplessly as the bullets weakened her biotic shield. The use of her biotics made her head scream in protest, she could feel her implant rattle uncomfortably. Dr. Chakwas had warned Shepard about using her biotics, but desperation had impaired her better judgement.
Kaidan came running, hitting the Marauder with an Overload, then stabbing the converted turian with his omni-blade. He hoisted Shepard up from under her arms, then pulled her behind a nearby wrecked car. He applied a medi-gel with his omni-tool, she could feel slight relief but the pain in her head still raged.
"Shepard, are you okay? What happened?" He asked, raising his voice over the merciless barrage of the battlefield.
"I'm still not feeling one hundred percent," she admitted, waiting for her shields to recharge.
"You were injured very seriously, weren't you? Dammit Shepard…" He mumbled, helping her up. "I wish you would tell me these things, keeping me in the dark does not stop me from worrying about you."
"Hey, guys, I could use some help!" James interrupted into their comms.
Two Brutes circled the lieutenant, he dodge rolled out of the way as they went to strike him. Kaidan ran out, shooting at the Brutes with his M-8 Avenger to support James in covering fire. As James got into a safer vicinity, he threw a frag grenade at the two Brutes, while Kaidan hit one of them with a Reave.
A Warp flew through the air, hitting the Brute and taking it out as it combined with Kaidan's Reave. Liara, Tali and Javik ran into view. Shepard seized the moment to dash toward the building to collect any leftover supplies. Marine comm chatter chirped into her ear, something about two guns being taken down, but they still couldn't land. Shepard didn't respond, she was too preoccupied in picking up some bullets, and taking down a nearby Cannibal.
"Where are you Commander? The area is secure for now but we still need to push forward." Javik cut into her comm.
"I'm in the building, coming out now. Let's move." Shepard said as she jogged out, following her team up.
She was already winded, lagging behind them as they made it closer to the crash site. Fighting the Reaper forces up to this point had become almost like working through the motions. The six of them had made it to the crash site. The number of Reaper ground forces were much more than before. As the team fought, Shepard frantically searched for the heavy weapons scattered around the area. The Hades Cannon was in a closer proximity, so its firing was causing the ground to shake even more than before. Eventually groping through the mess, she was able to find an M-920 Cain.
Shepard was knocked to the ground by the force of the continuous tremors, her hands trembling as she positioned the weapon toward the cannon. The M-920 Cain only had one round, so she only had one chance to destroy the Hades Cannon. She charged up the weapon, holding down on the trigger and letting it hone-in on the cannon. Before it could open and launch again, Shepard released the trigger, sending out a red beam ball toward the cannon. It locked on and circled, waiting for an opening. The Hades Cannon exploded, crumbling down to the ground.
"That's it, last gun down!" The Marine chimed back into their comms.
"We did it!" Tali declared, sounding too winded for it to be a cheer.
The six of them huddled together as Shepard shakily stood up and brought up her omni-tool, connecting her location and comm to any soldier in the vicinity.
"Anybody, come in. We need extraction!" She ordered.
Reuniting with Anderson felt good, Shepard was so relieved to see him again, but seeing the fatigue and sorrow in his aged eyes from battling on Earth for so long made her feel sad. His embrace had been tight, but she could see the concern at how she stood before him, slightly hunched and weak. Major Coats had taken them to the FOB so they could all gather together and wait for the rest of Hammer to show up, but the numbers returning had been dismal.
As the rest of Shepard's crew began to make it to the FOB, Shepard went to get some time to herself so she could gather her wits and self reflect. In one of the badly damaged buildings she was able to find a bathroom with a cracked mirror. She gingerly removed her helmet, grunting in pain as she tried to lift it off her head. Her head was still slightly swollen, so the helmet was not easy to remove. She gazed at her reflection in the mirror, not even able to gawk at the pale imitation of herself that stared back. The stitches on her forehead were red and irritated, her face still bruised and swollen, her hair disheveled, her skin still a sickly white shade. As the push toward the Citadel Beam drew nearer, their hope for reaching their goal didn't seem any closer to succession. She felt nauseous at the thought, as fears of nearing a Reaper crept and whispered at the base of her skull.
The voice had yet to visit her as she fought on Earth, but that didn't mean the threat of her being indoctrinated was gone. James continued to keep a close watch, still stern and tight-lipped as he looked at Shepard. He was hovering by the bathroom, gun ready in case Shepard had started to turn. She knew his orders came from Hackett from Dr. Chakwas, and how important it was that he stay vigilant.
She sat on the floor, squatting down slowly as her body protested and shuddered in pain. She took a few deep breaths, trying to steady herself as she had a few moments of near bliss before the main assault continued.
"Shepard?"
She glanced up, seeing Kaidan standing in the bathroom doorway. His exhaustion from battle fatigue was etched deep on his face, but he was still far more alert than she had been. Studying her appearance, she started to internally prepare for a lecture, but surprisingly he said nothing. He approached her, sitting beside her in silence for a moment.
"I spoke to my Biotics Division students," he interjected, a slight smile tugging at the side of his mouth.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, Miranda Lawson is leading them right now, along with support from Jacob Taylor. It's strange to relinquish command to former Cerberus operatives, but fighting on the front beside you is more important." He paused for a moment, taking time to place a gentle hand on Shepard's. "Samara, that Justicar, is also assisting, while Jack's students are helping with barriers for some of the marines. I'd rather my students do the same, but they're so keen to fight…" his voice trailed off and he went quiet again for a minute.
Shepard remained silent, not minding the peace between the two of them. She would rather have this moment than the wall that she had built up between them earlier.
"Guess we're old soldiers now, huh?" Kaidan chuckled softly.
"Yeah, I guess we are." Shepard agreed, returning a small smile.
Kaidan's face fell, his smile fading. "We know the score, we know this is goodbye." His voice sounded choked up, it killed her inside.
"Don't talk like that."
"Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna fight like hell to see you again, if that's what it takes. But listen… there's things I want to say… looking back I have a few regrets, but not many. That's pretty damn amazing, right?"
She let him ramble, thinking it helped him get everything off his chest.
"Messed up kid that I was, never would have dreamed of the life I've had. And I owe a lot of that to you, you know. It's been a hell of a ride. But how are you doing? Scared?"
"Of course I'm scared, I'm more terrified than I've ever been. But I'm going to fight as hard as I can to strike these bastards right in the heart." She answered, trying her best to sound strong.
"I know you are, I can see you're trying your best out there."
"I know it's not enough… I'm-"
"You don't need to explain anything to me, Shepard. I know you're doing the best you can with your given situation. You're an amazing woman, Shepard."
"And you're an amazing man."
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in for a kiss. She obliged, wanting to do the same. They kissed feverishly for a while, enjoying the small moment of intimacy. A slight tremor ran through the building, reminding the two lovers of the battle going on outside these walls. They pulled away reluctantly, staring deeply at each other.
"I can't lose you again." Kaidan whispered, his voice snagging on a pitch of desperation.
Shepard's words failed her, she could only stare into his amber eyes.
"I should get back and check on my squad. I'm sure Anderson wants to speak with you, too." Kaidan stood up, leaving before either of them could retort.
Shepard decided to do the same, knowing she couldn't spend eternity on the bathroom floor. She struggled to stand, keeping her helmet off, wanting her head's swelling to go down before she attempted to put it back on. As she exited the bathroom, James was leaning against the wall beside the doorway.
"Did you tell him?" He asked.
Shepard turned to him, confused.
"What?"
"About what's going on, that you could possibly be indoctrinated."
"Of course not, why would I tell him that?"
James straightened up, visibly irritated by his commander's answer.
"He deserves to know, hell all of your crew does. What about Anderson?" He pressed.
"No, I'm not going to alarm any of them. The only thing that matters is the mission, lieutenant. Besides, you know word getting out about this could cause a major security leak." She clipped.
"Hm, is that right? How am I going to explain to Major Alenko that I had to shoot you down, huh? How devastated do you think he'll be when he finds out that the Reapers took control of you and poisoned your mind?"
"I have to go," she snapped.
"Avoiding the question is selfish."
"That's enough, Lieutenant Vega!"
She started to walk off, he followed her as he was ordered to do. As she made her way through the building, seeing soldiers try to patch up the wounded, establish radio contact, go over strategies, she could only focus on James' words and his proximity behind her. A team of krogan could be seen on the ground floor in formation and preparing for the next wave of attack. As she neared the door, she caught sight of Primarch Victus, offering his support in person. While she was grateful for their help, their words seemed so empty to her as her emotions lulled into anxiety and buzzed from adrenaline.
As Shepard entered the main communications room, most of her old squad along with the rest of the Normandy's current squad gathered inside. Anderson stood in front of a digital board, mapping out the area, as Major Coats stood beside him with a datapad.
Wrex and Grunt immediately greeted her, explaining how they had been assisting with other krogan with ground forces. The only person missing was Jack, who was still in the fray making sure barriers were staying up. Tali, EDI and Kasumi shared data between their omni-tools on intel gathered, Zaeed stood close, remaining as EDI's bodyguard. Liara spoke with Javik, Miranda, and Jacob. Samara spoke to a hologram of Steve, asking if he needed more support in the air.
She spotted Kaidan in a corner, taking a moment to possibly say goodbye to his mother. Shepard felt a pang of guilt for not doing the same, knowing that she was supporting in the air on the Kilimanjaro and would be busy since she's the executive officer. Exhaustion felt like anchors in her joints; the commotion of everyone greeting her sounded like white noise, her brain felt far too scrambled and overwhelmed to offer any response other than a trite "thank you" or "hang in there."
She forced her helmet back on, swallowing a yelp of pain threatening to raise in her throat. Her world was on fire, the enemy was winning, her mind possibly infiltrated, her friends' lives hung in the balance - she felt helplessly trapped in the middle, suffocating in a pool of turmoil as she was forced to lead.
"Whenever you're ready," Anderson told Shepard, giving her the floor to make yet another decision.
"We should move before the Reaper's realize what we're doing." She suggested.
"Exactly my thought."
Anderson called in the rest of the Battalion leaders so they could hear the debriefing. As they gathered inside, Anderson brought up a holographic interface of the battlefield and Citadel Beam.
"We fought hard to get here, but now the toughest part of our mission begins. We have to drive right through the heart of Reaper controlled territory, break past their defenses, and get to that beam." Anderson explained as he displayed the different areas on the interface.
"What kind of defenses?" A soldier asked.
"There's a ton of Reaper forces, but our biggest concern is the Reaper Destroyer defending the beam."
"Can we bring in air support?" Coats asked.
"Negative, there's some kind of interference, we have to take it out from the ground." Anderson scrolled further on the display. "Now they cut us off at no man's land, we have to get through there first. There'll be some limited shelter on the other side, but expect heavy ground resistance. We need to get our tanks to here, if we get close enough we have a shot of taking that thing out."
"How much of a shot?" Coats questions again.
"They know we're coming, this will be a one way trip for many of us, but there can be no retreat, no stepping back. We move forward at all costs, understood?" Anderson's voice was firm and strong.
The marines inside cheered with bravado, Wrex and Grunt joined them, yearning for more battle and bloodlust. Most of Shepard's friends and comrades weren't marines, so they didn't understand the attitude, but their determination to succeed was nonetheless still inflated. Shepard's usual perseverance in battle was replaced by uncertainty and exhaustion, but she snapped a salute anyway, knowing they had all come so far and were prepared to do what needed to be done.
Anderson walked around the table, approaching Shepard to make sure he could hold her attention. He could tell she was dazed.
"Shepard, I'm sending you right up the gut where the resistance is heaviest. Support the tanks the best you can, but stay alive. I need you for the final push to the beam."
The two fell silent for a moment, reflecting on the probability of success.
"I'll give you a minute with your squad, organize your teams well." He added, patting her on the back before walking off.
Shepard faced her friends, they mingled around the room, preparing for the push ahead. She signaled for them all to follow her in the next room, rehearsing a speech and quickly going over strategies in her head. She had always been someone who could usually plan things out but not all the time, her mission she had on Elysium years ago made that clear. But today even after months of gathering resources and rallying teams, she felt horribly unprepared against the Reapers. She knew even if they couldn't win this war, it was worth making the effort to fight against this destructive evil, but the trillions counting on their survival and success made the outcome matter so much more.
Her friends and comrades gathered, she paced before them, wondering how she could word everything before their final push. Shepard was gifted with words and had given speeches before, but compared to now none of those seemed to matter.
"This war has brought unimaginable pain, suffering, and loss. But in the never-ending bad news and turmoil, it has brought us all together - as soldiers, allies, friends, even lovers." She glanced at Kaidan through her helmet as she said 'lovers'. "This bond that ties us all together is something the Reapers will never understand. It's more powerful than any weapon, stronger than any ship, it can't be taken or destroyed. Yes, the Reapers lack the one thing capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space - love. We should rely on that, just as we have relied on each other to fight and survive to this point. The next few hours will decide the fate of every soul in the galaxy. Even if not all are aware of the importance of this very moment, they're trusting you, depending on you to win them their future. A future free of the Reaper threat."
She paused for a moment, taking in the expressions on her friends' faces. They were inspired, listening closely to their commander's words. For the first time all day she felt like a leader again, it made her feel nearly elated, almost forgetting about her own injuries.
"Take heart and look around you, no one is alone in this fight, we face this enemy together and together we will defeat them." She concluded the pep talk portion of her speech, then continued on to strategy, bringing up her omni-tool to sort out the teams.
"I will lead the push ahead with Kaidan and James. We need strong defenses around the tanks as we escort them toward the Destroyer Reaper as we head to the beam. Wrex and Grunt, both of you will lead your army around the tanks, pushing them through at whatever cost. Jacob, Miranda, Samara, and Liara, I need all of your biotics to support them, creating barriers and using your skills to fight back against ground forces when necessary. You all will be be joined by various Alliance marines and also soldiers from many other species in the push ahead. EDI, Tali, and Kasumi, I need you three to remain on tech support, there are many downed turrets that need to be rebooted. Zaeed and Javik, you will continue to assist in keeping them safe, once we make it to No Man's Land you'll join us for the push toward the beam. Joker is responsible for air evac, picking up any wounded that he can and getting them out of the war zone, in turn Cortez will be dropping off soldiers ready for battle. Jack will continue to monitor her students, making sure those who are behind the line continue to have the proper support."
"So it's a mad rush to the beam, heh I like it," Grunt commented, still buzzing all over for a good fight.
"Yes, our main objective is to make sure those tanks reach the Destroyer, then all of us need to run as fast as we can toward the Citadel Beam. I won't sugarcoat it, it's going to be hard to reach that beam, there's going to be a lot of casualties because of the lack of cover. Me, James, Kaidan and the krogan will be the first wave to the beam, if we fail then the biotics will join us, then tech support, then lastly it'll have to be Jack and her students. Everyone understand?"
Her squad agreed, proclaiming loudly, patting her on the back, encouraging Shepard that they would follow her anywhere. Shepard could feel tears well in her eyes, happy that her helmet was covering her face, she didn't want them to see how moved she was, it could be misinterpreted as doubt.
"Let's move out!"
As they all dashed out of the FOB, she ran beside Kaidan, doing her best to keep up with him. She felt pumped, ready to cross No Man's Land with the help of her longtime friends, but in her short-lived sense of elation, she could feel James' steely eyes staring at the base of her helmet, unwavering from the possibility that this entire plan could be ruined if she was indoctrinated.
The reality set in again.
The amount of ground Reaper forces was more than any of them had ever fought before. Shepard had thought facing all of the Collectors on their ship was the most a platoon worth of soldiers could face, but now it was clear the Reapers had prepared them a large army. With the krogen assisting and guarding the tanks, it wasn't as bad as it could've been. Shepard's aim and her inability to currently use her biotics was still a hindrance, but the support was there to ensure they wouldn't fail.
The bright blue Citadel Beam shot into the sky in the distance, past the clouds and out of Earth's atmosphere. It was the only source of light in the dark, battle-ridden London streets. The tank directly ahead of Shepard had gotten stopped by a barrage of bullets Cannibals and Marauders, causing it to burst into flames. Some of the nearby krogen charged the Reapers, clearing them but were unable to save the tank.
"Dammit!" Shepard swore, seeing another tank ahead begin its push with Kaidan and another handful of krogen.
Shepard picked up handfuls of dirt, throwing it on the tank to smother the flames. She climbed on top, opening the hatch to see if the operator had luckily did, she was able to patch them up with medi-gel, but the controls were busted.
"Tech support, one of the tanks is down. Is it possible to repair it and get it moving again?" Shepard asked into her comm.
"Unknown from our current location, Shepard. Will need to be within close proximity to assess the damage." EDI replied.
"Can one of you come to my coordinates and try? I have to get moving with the other tank."
"I will," Kasumi chimed in.
"The area is clear, but I'm not sure if it'll get swarmed again. Javik, keep a lookout for Kasumi, let me know if either of you starts to get overrun."
"I can come in cloaked, too, Shep. If you'd rather Javik stay with EDI, Tali and Zaeed." Kasumi suggested.
"No, I don't want anyone to be left behind before we get to No Man's Land. If you need support I can send someone from the biotics team to help you."
"Yes, commander." Javik replied.
As Shepard joined the rest to get the other tank moving, a Harvester flew down and landed before them. Kaidan, and Shepard jumped into cover, while James and a few krogen soldiers started to unload on it. It started to shoot its missile-like projectiles at the tank.
"Someone put a barrier over that tank!" Shepard ordered.
"On it!" Miranda came from around a corner, doing her best to re-enforce the tank's shields.
Kaidan hit the Harvester with a Reave, while James followed up with a Carnage. Shepard peered into her scope, hitting the winged Reaper with three rounds from her Black Widow. The hide of the Reaper was tough, barely reacting to the barrage of attacks being thrown at it. The tank rocked with each impact, Shepard could see Miranda straining to keep the barrier up.
Finally the Harvester exploded in a spectacular show of bright light, but their victory was short-lived. The nearby piercing cry of a Banshee echoed across the battlefield. Cannibals and Marauders followed the mutated asari, fighting back against them. The fighting never seemed to end as the Banshee locked onto Shepard's position.
Shepard ran from cover as the Banshee biotically jumped around her, projecting its powerful biotics in her direction. As Shepard dashed around in circles, she threw a bundle of grenades at it, causing the creature to stumble slightly. It regained its poise quickly, continuing its pursuit.
"Shepard!"
Grunt ran into the fray, ramming directly into the Banshee with his head. He sprung back before it could grab and impale him with its sharp fingers.
"Keep moving, we got this!" Grunt yelled, waving her ahead.
"Shepard, there's resistance coming from the nearby buildings, shooting at the tanks." Kaidan's voice spoke through her comm. "The krogen can hold back these forces, but we have to get the tanks moved into cover."
"Okay, James and Kaidan, we'll go into the building and take out the forces from above. Grunt, keep fighting back the Reapers as the tanks go into cover, and biotics keep those barriers up! We'll be back in a minute!" Shepard ordered into her comm. "Kasumi, how are the repairs on that other tank coming?"
"It's going to take awhile, Shep, the hardware was all nearly fried. Haven't met with any Reapers yet, Javik is keeping a close watch on the perimeter."
"Get it fixed as fast as you can, Kasumi, there's a ton of Reaper forces just ahead of you. I don't want you both to be stuck in a wave by yourselves." Shepard warend.
"We are aware of the risks, Commander, just focus on taking out the Reapers in the building." Javik replied coolly.
The three of them ran into the building, straight into the parking garage guarded by Brutes. As they fought, Shepard could hear the reports coming through her comm, each one bringing bad news. A Marine stated that Charlie Company had been wiped out. Shepard tried to ignore it, pushing ahead with Kaidan and James. They entered the once pristine apartment building, littered with human remains and the after-effects from war. The battle raged, Shepard did her best to swallow the pain from her head and fight. From rooms, to outside in balconies, back onto the streets and alleyways. The Reaper forces never let up. There was a large mounted gun on the passageway between two buildings, Shepard used it for awhile to keep the forces at bay, but with the Destroyer Reaper closing in, their window to launch their tanks at it was growing slim.
Descending the buildings felt like a continuous, never-ending battle of Reaper forces. Their time fighting was starting to blur together; Shepard could see the fatigue start to effect Kaidan and James, while her fighting today had already been sloppy from the start. On ground level the Destroyer was now close enough to the buildings and the first tank to almost be able to step on it. Fighting at close proximity to the Reapers was not something new for Shepard or her team, but never had the obstacle felt so great. What laid beyond the Destroyer was No Man's Land, and finally the Citadel Beam. The Reaper ground forces did not let up, and neither did the close Destroyer from shooting its deadly lasers around them.
"Commander, the Destroyer is in range, missiles are ready for launch."
EDI's robotic voice sounded urgently into Shepard's comm.
"How fast can you get here to launch it?" Shepard asked; her and Kaidan were trying to outrun a Banshee and take cover. "We're getting hammered right now, I don't think we'll be able to launch it ourselves without being exposed.
"I can send Javik and Miranda to help," Kasumi suggested over the comm. "I'm almost done repairing the tank."
"No, there's way too many with more waves incoming, I don't want to leave you exposed."
"I will be there momentarily, Commander, Zaeed will assist me." EDI replied.
"I'll be able to cover EDI, Shepard." Zaeed added, gruffly.
"We can provide covering fire while EDI readies the tank to launch, and Zaeed can protect her while she's exposed," Kaidan suggested to Shepard, throwing a Reave at the Banshee pursing them.
"That'll work, Tali I'll have you on standby with Liara just in case." Shepard ordered into her comm.
Tali and Liara both agreed, and started to move into position.
As Shepard, Kaidan, and James defended themselves and the tank against the large wave, EDI and Zaeed arrived a minute later. EDI got to work on the computer on the tank, while Zaeed took position in front of her. They were directly exposed to the Destroyer, but Grunt and Wrex's army were doing their best to distract the Destroyer from a distance. Marauders, Banshees, and Cannibals swarmed them, while an Alliance flank to their left fell from too many ground forces. They were able to keep the Reapers away from harming EDI, but there were too many close calls.
"Targeting is online, Reaper is in range," EDI confirmed.
"Fire!" Shepard commanded.
The missiles blasted out of the tank, and hit the Destroyer in its great red eye before its protective plating closed. The machine let out a mechanical wail as it began to stumble and topple over. The ground forces began to slow down as control over them waned.
"It's coming down, hit it with everything you got!" Shepard gave the order into her comm.
The other nearby tanks began to fire, guns shot at it, and biotics were flung at the exposed Reaper. It came crashing down in a fiery explosion, allowing everyone to catch their breath for a short moment.
"Destroyer terminated," EDI announced.
"Nice work, everyone!"
"Shepard, we're on our way to your location," Anderson cut into the comm, pulling up in a Mako behind them. More Alliance marines and Major Coats joined him, along with Wrex and Grunt with their krogen platoons.
"Roger that." Shepard panted, her relief starting to replace itself with more exhaustion.
Anderson got out of the vehicle and approached the five of them.
"Thank God you made it." Anderson sounded almost astounded by their success.
"It didn't look good for a minute there…" she admitted. Kaidan placed his hand on her shoulder in support.
"It gets worse," Anderson warned. "Hackett just reported in. Several Sovereign class Reapers, including Harbinger, have broken off from the battle with Sword. They're headed here. It's an opportunity for Hackett to get the Citadel in place, but we have to get a team on board the Citadel to open those arms, now."
"We still don't even know what we'll find when we get to the Citadel," Major Coats added.
"Then that's our job, find out what we're up against," Shepard said, looking over at her team.
"All right, saddle up, everybody, and get me Admiral Hackett." Anderson ordered. He broke off to return to his Mako while everyone else fell in line to their positions. The Mako pulled up toward Shepard's crew, waiting for them to board.
Shepard watched the other vehicles drive past the dead Reaper, and the rest of the tanks start to drive into view. The rest of the Normandy team had also began to cross to the border of No Man's Land, preparing for the final push to the Citadel Beam.
"Okay people, this is it. I need everyone to make a mad-dash toward that beam. The Crucible is headed toward the Citadel now, so we only got one shot at this. Reapers are closing in on No Man's Land and we're all going to be exposed out there, so be alert. Hop in a vehicle if you can to take you the rest of the way, conserve your energy until the final push. Stay safe." Shepard spoke into her comm, unable to keep her voice from shaking slightly with anxiety.
Inside the Mako the crew was silent, other than EDI who was constantly sending data from her omni-tool. Shepard sat, leaning forward, her hands clasped together. She could feel James' steely gaze on her, knowing that the closer she got to Harbinger, the more the risk of her possible indoctrination taking over. She did her best to push away the intrusive thoughts, but the fear of the unknown only grew stronger the closer they drew to the border of No Man's Land.
"From here on out it's a straight shot to the beam," Anderson said aloud, although the whole crew and Hammer had already been informed. It sounded like he was trying to psych himself up for what they were about to do.
"A straight shot with Reapers trying to crush us along the way," Coats added, grimly.
"We're well aware of that, princess." Zaeed interjected.
"We just need a handful of troops, though," Anderson added, trying to be somewhat optimistic.
"Oh, that's all?" James muttered sarcastically.
"We knew this was going to be a gamble at best," Anderson informed the team.
"Can't think of anyone else I'd rather do this with." Shepard added, her eyes from behind her helmet landing on Kaidan. He gave her a small smile of reassurance.
"Honored to be a part of your team, Shepard." Kaidan added.
"We're in sight of the target," Coats reported, breaking up the affectionate moment.
"All right, everyone, this is it!" Anderson said, just as the Mako shook with heavy resistance from outside.
They exited the Mako to see the hood had been hit and was now engulfed in flames. At the edge of No Man's Land, they all gazed down at the battlefield, scattered with wrecked military vehicles and bodies. Energy radiated from the distant Citadel Beam, creating a strong breeze blowing in their direction. The field of dirt was dark and gloomy, only being illuminated by the blue glow of the beam. Ships rained down in the distance like meteorites, as a Reaper came down from the skies, landing right behind the beam. In her heart Shepard knew it was Harbinger.
It was hell on Earth.
Anderson gave the order to run, Shepard could hear the sounds of replies chiming into her comm from her team, but the blaring horn of the Reaper drowned them all out. They stumbled forward, starting to run across No Man's Land. Shepard could see the krogan charging forward, so many Alliance soldiers running toward the beam. Her tech and biotic teams waited for their waves, but their signal to run meant the first wave's failure. It was a harsh realization, but she knew she could only focus on their one objective. She locked on the beam ahead, watching as everyone passed her. Shepard's cybernetic enhancements made her much faster, but the soreness of her head made her slow down.
The Reaper's laser fired at them, destroying cars and vaporizing people in an instant. The ground shook, causing Shepard to yelp and stumble a few times. She refused to stop moving, only seeing the beam in sight. Turian ships tried to swoop in and distract the Reaper, but its coordinated and quick attacks were decimating their forces. Shepard felt her heart pang in fear at the very real possibility of any of her dear friends being killed as they all ran toward the beam. A ship crashed in front of her, raining debris and dirt in her direction. Shepard ran around it, trying her best not to slow down and become a target. She had lost sight of Kaidan and James, they had kept a steady pace behind her, not wanting to leave their commander in the dust. Anderson had run too far ahead for her to see. The vehicles in front of her blew up, causing her to nearly fall forward. She caught herself with her hands and continued to run, only slowing her pace slightly to look back. She saw Kaidan and James running right behind her. A nearby Mako flipped, forcing Shepard to slow down to a complete stop, and skid on the ground as it landed and exploded in front of her. She used it for cover, watching helplessly as another Mako flew over and fell toward Kaidan and James. They jumped out of the way, but the explosion hit them.
No No NO!
With her heart hammering in her throat, she ran toward them, seeing Kaidan struggling and covered with blood. James stood up, his legs wobbly. Soldiers and vehicles continued to rush past them. Shepard hoisted Kaidan up, leading them toward a downed Mako to take cover. They were too injured to make another dash toward the beam, and the thought of them both dying was too much for Shepard to bear. They were so close to the beam, but it still felt like such a far distance with the Reaper looming so close by.
"Normandy, do you copy? I need an evac right now!" Shepard called desperately into her comm.
"We're taking heavy losses up here, Commander." Joker's response was filled with so much static and background noise it was hard to make out his words.
"I need you here, now!" Shepard yelled, applying medi-gel to Kaidan and James. James was still standing, on alert, but Kaidan's wound from Kai Leng had opened.
The Normandy came into view, landing by them and avoiding the Reapers laser at all costs. Shepard hoisted Kaidan up again, putting his arm over her so she could lead them quickly.
"Come on, we need to hurry!"
Soldiers on the Normandy came out to provide covering fire. Shepard pushed Kaidan toward the ramp, having James support him and carry him on.
"Shepard, you know I can't leave the battlefield without you, not with Harbinger this close. Hackett's orders!" James snapped.
"You're too injured, James, I'll need to press on without you. I know it's a risk, but you did your job. Inform anyone else from our team who is close to the beam, they'll take over." She answered, starting to step back from the ship. "Take him," Shepard pointed at Kaidan.
James watched her her sternly, knowing he couldn't argue with her with the chaos of everything going on. It was a security breach if she was indoctrinated, but the plan was growing more desperate by the second.
"Shepard…" Kaidan whimpered, looking back at her.
"You gotta get out of here."
"Yeah, that's not gonna happen!" Kaidan argued, leaning into James for support.
"Don't argue with me, Kaidan."
Kaidan's face scrunched up in pain, his amber eyes laced with so much sadness Shepard was grateful her helmet obscured her view slightly.
"Don't leave me behind…"
Shepard stepped toward him, her heart overcome with emotions and love. Part of her knew this was most likely goodbye, the last time she would ever see the man she loved. She felt like throwing up, spilling out her heart and soul at this very moment, but all she could do was hold his face gently with her hands.
"No matter what happens, know that I love you. Always."
They stared deeply into each other's eyes, the battle and Reaper threat fading away from their perception. All they could see was each other.
"I-I love you too… be careful…"
Shepard began to step back, he reached out to her. Shepard looked back at the Reaper and the beam, seeing that the Normandy had caught its attention.
"Go!" She waved them on.
Kaidan was on the brink of tears, while James stare hardened with despair as he held onto Kaidan. Shepard couldn't look at them any longer, she had to make herself keep pushing forward. She wasn't sure how long they lingered, her eyes were now set on the Citadel Beam again. She heard the Normanday's engines rev, hoping they could leave the Earth's atmosphere in one piece.
Her singular goal lay before once again. She ran, her pace slowed significantly more than before. Very few soldiers were running with her now, she could see the charred remains and ashes littered in higher quantities the closer to the beam she got. Another vehicle crashed beside her, making her stumble to the ground.
SHEPARD
Harbinger's voice rang in her head, and its voice echoed across No Man's Land. It had spotted her, and recognized her. She struggled to stand up, feeling a burning heat sensation start to take over her body. The Reapers laser was headed toward her, and she had reacted too slowly to get out of its path. All she could do was cross her arms defensively in front of her, her biotics sparking up out of reflex.
Shepard.
Another voice throbbed in her head, but this one was different, yet so familiar. This was the voice of them. Her head screamed in protest as she weakly forced up a Barrier, but something was different about her biotics again. It felt like a hand had wrapped around her brain and squeezed; the pressure was so unbearable it felt like her eardrums were going to burst. Her eyes rolled back in her head as her knees buckled, her body glowing with a fierce blue as her Barrier completely engulfed her as the Reaper laser hit.
Everything went hazy as the world around her fell silent, and she slipped into darkness once again.
"Listen to me when I say that love isn't something we invented, it's observable and powerful, it has to mean something…maybe it means something more, something we can't yet understand. Maybe it's some evidence, some artifact of a higher dimension that we can't consciously perceive. Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space." — Dr. Brand, Interstellar.