JENNIE

I was moving before i realized it. Lisa hurried me toward the kitchen, dragging me along on my sluggish, panicked legs. We had fifteen, maybe twenty seconds before Felix would come through the door to the garage. He'd know I was here, because my car was parked in the driveway. What the hell were we going to do?

I stared up at Lisa, finding her face a calm, emotionless mask as she left me and scurried around to the other side of the island. "It's okay," she said quickly. "Let me do the talking when—"

No time. The door swung open, and Felix sauntered in. His gaze scanned the area in search of something, noticing his dada on one side of the kitchen, and finally he found me. "Jennie?" He looked confused. "What are you doing here?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but his dada's deep voice rang out first. "She left her hoodie in your bathroom and asked if she could stop by to pick it up." Lisa nodded toward the sweatshirt resting on the countertop as proof. "You're home early," she added.

Felix didn't notice the strain buried in his dada's statement and shrugged. "The restaurant was dead, so they let me off." His attention returned to me. "Why didn't you text me?"

I blinked. Was he serious? Putting aside everything related to his dada and treating Felix solely as my ex, it was weird as hell seeing him. What was I supposed to say? That being in the same room with him made me uncomfortable, and this was easier?

Better was the more appropriate word, because I'd come over tonight with a bigger goal than just avoiding my ex or retrieving my favorite hoodie. When I glanced at Lisa, I tried to tamp down my disappointment that we'd been interrupted.

Shit, what a selfish thing to be thinking about.

She must have thought I was looking to her for help, because she answered Felix for me. "I think Jennie felt more comfortable if you weren't here, since the break-up."

Felix went still. "The what?"

Breath halted painfully in my lungs.

Oh my God. He still didn't think we'd broken up? My focus flitted from Felix to his dada, and I could see the muscles flexed tight along Lisa's jaw. She looked hurt, and maybe angry.

She thought I'd lied to her.

"We broke up." I said it too loudly because I was nervous, but also because I needed to make sure both of them heard me. "Like, several times."

Felix unbuttoned the white dress shirt of his uniform, shooting me a dubious look. "We had a fight. You were mad, and I told you to call me when you were over it." He stripped down to his white undershirt and tossed the uniform on the counter like he'd just thrown down a gauntlet.

"No, that's not what happened. I told you we were over."

Felix's confidence cracked, and there was a glimmer of the boy I'd fallen in love with. He went grave. "You're breaking up with me?"

The temperature in the kitchen fell so rapidly, I thought about grabbing my hoodie and putting it on, but then worried I'd pull the hood closed around my face and try to disappear. Was I about to break up with him a third time, and with his dada watching?

I was barely able to push the word out. "Yes."

As his face twisted with pain, I felt the same twisting in my heart. Lisa was rooted in place, even though her expression said she'd rather be anywhere else. Perhaps she thought if she stayed motionless, we'd forget she was there.

Not fucking likely.

"Why?" Felix demanded. I'd practiced the answer so many times, but now my mind went blank. "Is there someone else?" he continued.

I couldn't help how my eyes flicked to Lisa's, but she wasn't looking at me. She stared at the counter, frowning. There was guilt there, which I understood. I felt it too. It was a thick, hard shell trapping everything in a confusing mess of emotions.

I ignored Felix's second question. "It's not working anymore."

"Yeah, I know these last few weeks haven't been the best, but I've—"

"It hasn't been working for a while," I said flatly. "Even when we were still in school."

He came closer and put his hand on the counter beside me, invading my space, and I sucked in a sharp breath. His proximity made me want to step back, but I also didn't want to appear weak. I needed to hold my ground and get through this.

"We're not the same people anymore," I said.

He scoffed. "That's not true."

"Yeah? If my grandmother had passed away last year, you would have gone with me to the funeral."

His posture went defensive. "I had to work. I told you."

"It's not just that. Before, you would have been there for me. But now you aren't." I got angry and hurt all over again at the memory. "We've barely seen each other this summer. I'm not your girlfriend. I'm an afterthought."

Felix's gaze hardened, and something like embarrassment colored his expression. He didn't turn or look away from me, but it was clear from his raised voice his question was directed at his dada. "Is there some reason you're still here?"

Tension in the room bound me in place. It was uncomfortable for everyone, and worse when Felix pointed it out.

Lisa straightened. "Don't take that tone with me. This is my house."

Annoyance flashed in her son's eyes. "Let's go downstairs and talk about this."

"No," I snapped, grabbing the hoodie and strangling it in my hands. "There's nothing to talk about. It's over, and I'm going. Goodbye, Felix." The fire in me waned a little as I turned to his dada. "Thanks—" I nearly said her first name, but caught it just in time, "Dr. Manoban."

She looked torn about letting me go but nodded in acknowledgement.

I only made it a few steps toward the door before Felix was following me. "That's it?" He was hurting but masked it with anger. "You're gonna throw three years away because I couldn't go to one funeral with you? That's stupid."

Hot, angry tears stung my eyes, but I didn't stop moving. I needed to get out of this house and away from him before I said something I'd regret. He'd only heard what he wanted to, which meant he could shift the blame away from himself. Fine. As long as he was crystal clear we were done, he could think whatever he wanted.

"You know what?" he yelled at me as I fled out the front door. "Fuck you, Jennie."

"Felix," I heard Lisa snarl, but didn't look back at either one of them. I ran so fast down the pathway, one of my flip-flops caught an edge of brick and I nearly fell but managed to stay on my feet. I scrambled into my car, started it, and took off, needing to get down the road before the tears started streaming down my face.

My phone chimed with a text message as I raced home, but I didn't read it. I came in through the kitchen and went immediately up after waving hello to my mom. She was chatting on her phone, but waved back. I moved so rapidly, it didn't give her a chance to notice I'd been crying.

Tripod, our rescue black Labrador, bounded up the stairs beside me. You'd never guess from the way he moved, he was missing a leg. My mom may not have noticed my mood, but there was no getting it past my eagle-eyed dog.

Once I was upstairs in my room, sitting on the floor with my back against the bed, I drew my knees up to my chest and scanned my phone screen. Tripod sat beside me, nosing his way into my free hand as I tried to read.

Dr. Manoban: Are you okay?

I pulled my arms into my hoodie, shrugging it on as I wiped the dried tear tracks from my face with a sleeve, and thumbed out my response.

Jennie: Yeah.

Three dots blinked across the screen, then disappeared. Like me, it seemed as if she wasn't sure what else to say.

Jennie: How is he?

Dr. Manoban: Upset. I tried to talk to him, but he took off.

Alarm coasted through my system. Felix had stormed off? Before I could ask, more dots blinked on the screen.

Dr. Manoban: He's staying at Troy's tonight. Maybe he'll figure out he was an asshole and apologize to you.

That'd be nice, but I wasn't going to hold my breath.

Jennie: How are you? I'm sorry you had to watch that.

Dr. Manoban: Don't worry about me, I'm fine.

I tipped my head back against the bed and closed my eyes, trying to clear my thoughts. What would have happened if Felix had come home five minutes later? He'd have caught me and Lisa together. I pictured us with our pants down around our ankles, Lisa fucking me from behind while she had me bent over the side of the couch.

The image gave me warm shivers.

Jesus, what was wrong with me? Felix was hurting, and all I could think about was his dada and how I wished we hadn't had to stop. I wanted desperately to hear all of Lisa's dirty fantasies and see how many of them matched mine.

My phone chimed again, causing my eyes to pop open.

Dr. Manoban: Do you want to talk about it?

Felix's angry 'fuck you, Jennie' played in a loop in my mind, and I wanted it gone. I needed to think about something else. Anything else, before my hurt turned to rage. Three years together, and that was the last thing he said to me. Fuck you, Jennie.

My gaze roamed over my bedroom and only made it worse. Memories of him were everywhere. It was amazing how much he'd been a part of my life in high school, and the room was like a freaking shrine to him. Even my bed was tainted with the memory of when I'd given him my virginity. I groaned and pushed to my feet, hoping I could outrun the angry feeling inching along my skin. Tripod lifted his head, set on high alert.

The picture of Felix and me at our senior prom was on my bookshelf, and I glared at the smiling version of us. I felt powerless against my memories and my anger. Fuck me, Felix? No. Fuck you.

I stared down at my phone and Lisa's question if I wanted to talk about it. I was desperate to take some power back.

Jennie: Yeah. Can I come back over?