JENNIE

Lisa's comment brought on a fresh wave of guilt. I shouldn't have abandoned her last time.

"I'm not going to make a run for it," I said, still struggling to catch my breath. "I can't move."

She gave half a laugh as she pulled up her pants, leaving them undone, and I watched her disappear through the doorway to her bathroom. She wasn't gone long, and as the first twinge of shame began to trickle into my mind, she reemerged—

Stark, fucking, naked.

My cheeks warmed at the image, and thoughts drained from my brain. Dhe strolled across the room, coming to the bed, and helped me to stand on my wobbly legs. I turned clumsily to face her, not sure what to expect. Was this going to be awkward? Would she look at me with judgement after what we'd done, and how we'd done it?

No. Her expression was soft and full of longing. As she kissed me, her hands smoothed over my curves, moving toward my back, almost as if searching for something. It was the zipper of my dress. She eased it down, and as the fabric began to peel from my body, her lips followed it.

My shoulders shuddered with pleasure. Lisa worked deliberately to undress me, and I hadn't expected seduction after sex. It seemed unnecessary, but—oh God—it felt so incredibly necessary now. Her featherlight kisses moving over my bare body was worship.

She eased the straps of the dress down my arms, pushed it to my waist, and trailed her lips over my breasts. She didn't linger there, though. She took a knee, and her left hands worked the bunched dress over my hips, while her kisses marched over my belly. The dress fell into a fluffy pile at my ankles, pulling my underwear down with it.

On her knees in front of me, Lisa worked her gaze up the length of my body, and I went from being worshipped to savored. The air around us was thick. Heavy with an invisible fog that stuck in my lungs. Her stare was intense and amazing.

I didn't move until she rose to her feet and opened her arms, inviting me to step into them. I melted against her, greedy for her touch. We'd gone from soft kisses, to spanking, to brutal fucking, and now sensual cuddling? It should have felt strange, but it didn't. The way she swung from one extreme to the other was fascinating and perfect.

I lost myself in her deep kiss, where time suspended.

Somehow, we made our way onto the bed and squirmed beneath the covers, but she stayed upright, leaning her back against the tufted headboard. She probably worried if she got too comfortable, she'd fall asleep, and I'd bolt again. I wanted to show her that wasn't going to happen, so I tucked myself under her arm, putting my cheek to her bare chest.

She shifted to grab the glass of red wine off the nightstand, took a sip, and then settled in with me, glass still in hand. Her face skewed with an expression that looked a lot like remorse.

"Your distraction worked like a charm, but we still need to talk," she said.

I plucked the glass from her, pressed it to my lips, and took a big swallow. I'd only had red wine twice before, and dear God, this was the worst of the three. I tried not to make a face as I politely handed it back. "Thanks." I struggled not to wipe the gross, buttery taste from my lips. "It's really good."

Her knowing smile said she didn't believe me. But she turned serious as she set the wine down and focused on my eyes. "Are you okay?" Confidence fled from her voice. "I didn't mean to be like that."

All the hair pulling had made a mess of my ponytail, and I tucked a loose tendril behind my ear. "I'm fine."

The quiet in the room careened toward awkwardness.

"I'm fine," I said again, trying to convince her. "I, uh, liked the way you were. You couldn't tell?"

She appeared conflicted. "No, I could, it's just that was probably too much."

The single sip of her disgusting wine must have given me courage. "For who? You?" I straightened so I could stare directly at her. "Because it was great for me."

"Jesus." She cupped my face, and the corner of her mouth ticked up into a smile. "All right. Let's add it to the list of all the things we're not supposed to do, but do anyway."

I couldn't hold back my smile, even when I knew it was wrong.

I stared across her enormous bed to the wall beyond, where her undergrad degree from Vanderbilt was framed. Beside it hung an award she'd received from the hospital a few years ago. Maybe someday after I'd become a veterinarian, I'd hang my diplomas and awards on the wall like her. Like an adult.

Man, as if I needed another reminder of how different my life was from her.

The warmth from her touch went away when she took a deep breath, as if preparing for something serious.

"What are we doing?" she asked quietly.

I scowled. Like I had any clue. Plus, thinking about us together only brought on guilt.

"Okay." She said it like I'd given her an answer. "What do you want this to be?"

What I wanted wasn't possible. Lisa would always be Felix's dada and twenty years older than I was. "I don't know how to answer that."

"What we just did . . . you want to do it again?"

My pulse jumped. It was scary to confess, but I wasn't going to lie. "Yeah."

She tensed her shoulders, and visibly struggled to get her words out. "Me too," she admitted softly. "Which means we have to tell Felix."

"Oh my God, no." Had Lisa lost her mind? Not in a million years was I going to do that.

"He's my son, Jennie. When he was born, I put my needs before everyone else's and, shit, I was the worst parent. Hell, I wasn't a parent at all. But I got a second chance, and I'm not going to blow it this time. It's taken years for him to forgive me."

"Uh—" I cut myself off just in time before saying it out loud. She thought Felix had forgiven him?

"What?" Lisa's skeptical gaze drilled into me.

"Nothing."

I tried to act casual, but it was too late. She had latched onto my unspoken thought and wasn't about to drop it. I pulled away, hiking the sheets up tighter around my body, but she followed me, trapping me in place with a hand on my shoulder.

Her tone was firm. "What were you going to say?"

I stared down at her hand, avoiding looking at her. "I'm not sure," I said reluctantly, "he's totally forgiven you yet."

Lisa sucked in a sharp breath. For a long moment, it was the only painful sound in the room. I worked up the nerve to look her in the eye, and her expression was guarded. Maybe even defensive. It was striking how similar it was to Felix's earlier today.

Lisa's hand slid away, and her voice turned dubious. "What makes you think that?"

I sighed. "He told me."

"When? A while ago—?"

"When school ended, and we were coming home."

I watched the balloon of hope deflate in her eyes, and she sagged back against the headboard, defeated.

For three years, I'd tried to get Felix to come around. His dada hadn't been much older than she was now when Felix's parents had gotten pregnant. Just kids themselves. I didn't know the details, and I'd only heard Felix's version of the story, but I was aware Lisa had chosen medical school and a career over having a son.

Child support payments and birthday presents in the mail were all Felix had known of his dada the first ten years of his life, and he'd told me again and again that wasn't something he was getting over any time soon.

"It's been getting better, though," I said. "You two are a lot closer now. Remember what it was like the first time I came over?"

Felix had only been living with his dada a few weeks, and the tension between the two was palpable. Felix hadn't introduced me. I'd come in and barely gotten a look at Dr. Manoban before Felix was hurrying me down the stairs to the basement. It would be a month before I had my first conversation with his dada.

Time wore away at them, softening the sharp edge of Felix's anger, but it hadn't dissolved completely. They'd done a good job at playing family long enough it was almost real.

"It's not going to change what I do," Lisa said, running a hand down her long face. "I'm never going to give up trying to make it right with him. But, tell me honestly. Is it too late?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so. You just need more time with him."

God, the way she looked at me was heartbreaking, and my gut twisted. Yes, Lisa had been an absent parent at first, but she loved her son and was trying so hard now. That had to count for something. I mean, my father hadn't given a shit about me, ever. No child support payments or birthday presents in the mail. The only thing he'd given me was half my DNA, and sometimes I wanted to point out to Felix he hadn't gotten the shittiest deal in the dad department.

"But we can't tell him," I announced. "It'll destroy everything you worked so hard for. Burn every bridge you built."

"You don't know that."

"I know him," I clarified. "I know how he'll react." I could guarantee it wouldn't go well. Felix's 'fuck you, Jennie' would be amended to include a 'fuck you, Dada' and maybe even a 'fuck you forever.'

Lisa frowned. "I'm not saying he'll be okay with it, but—"

"No," I said. "We can't tell him. And, yeah, I know it sounds like I'm trying to take the easy way out, but I'm not. He was my best friend, Lisa. I know him better than anyone else, and believe me when I tell you, we can't do this. You'll lose him forever, and I'll be the reason."

Her dark eyes clouded over with something I didn't understand. "You don't know everything about him."

Well, that was cryptic. "What?"

Lisa's eyebrows pulled together, creating a crease of worry for a pregnant moment. "I just mean you can never know someone completely." She reached out and captured my face, cradling it in her hands. "He needs to know. He almost walked in on us this afternoon. What if he had?"

I sighed, and my heart gained five heavy pounds, sinking in my chest. "We don't even know what this is. How do we explain it to him?"

Her expression shifted, and it was clear she knew I'd made a valid point. What if tonight was the last time we were together? I didn't see the upside in risking Lisa's relationship with her son on something that might fade as quickly as I could stuff my prom dress back in the bag I'd brought over.

"So," she said, crossing her arms over her chest, "we lie to him."

A stone turned in my stomach and my voice was meek. "Until we can figure it out, I think we have to."

"Great." Her tone was flat. "This is a great idea. If he finds out instead of hearing it from us, it'll be ten times worse."

"He's not going to find out." I heard the way the words sounded as they came from my mouth and cringed. Was I really pushing for this? Willing to sneak around behind the back of the guy who'd once meant so much to me? And I'd be doing it so I could continue having crazy-hot sex.

Jesus. I hadn't lied to Felix when I'd told him we weren't the same people we were before. I barely recognized myself anymore.

"We'll be careful," I said. "And we'll tell him, once the summer's over and he's done going through whatever phase he's going through right now."

I was sure we both had the same feeling of dread crawling through us, thinking about how terribly this could go wrong. I swallowed a lump and mustered up the courage to be vulnerable.

"We have three options. Tell him, keep it a secret, or stop. Just so you know, it doesn't matter how or what we tell him—he's going to think I left him for you."

And that betrayal would be too much. Felix wouldn't recover.

I gazed at the persin sitting beside me. Lisa's dark hair was ruffled, and her full lips turned down in a frown, but she was easily the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Her thick biceps were exaggerated, crossed over her powerful chest, and her smart eyes focused in on me.

Oh, option three wasn't an option at all.

"And I can't stay away," I admitted. "I don't want to stop. Do you?"

"No."

"So . . ."

The muscles along her jaw flexed and her eyes went narrow. She was in agreement, but not happy about it, and I understood. I wasn't thrilled about sneaking around either.

"Just until the end of summer." It was a statement, but she said it asking for validation.

I nodded. "Yeah."

She drew in a deep breath, pushed it out, and pulled me back against her. Her lips brushed the edge of my hairline on my forehead. "This is a bad idea."

I set my palm flat against her chest. "We can add it to the list."