Chapter 2: Fate/Zero: Plans, even the best, never survive first contact intact

Summary:

Summoned and brought to a Battleground she rather not be anymore, Degurechaff still agrees it's necessary. What she disagrees however, is her Master's antics and personality

Notes:

"speech"

[Telepathic/Mage orb comms]

Chapter Text

Arriving in Fuyuki took longer than anyone expected, in special their other enemies. Caster couldn't believe the way her Master decided to enter the Country, much less just how absurdly cooperative Germania's BND and Army had been in supplying hardware and intel contacts for the Brit to smuggle into Fuyuki for her use. Acquiring a few Mk.12 SDVs from the Unified States, a current gen SDV used only by their SEALs and Marine Mage commandod no less, to insert himself and his small entourage was proof of how much his network ran deep into most Nations governments and armies, less subtle was managing to get into Fuyuki by merely doing the equivalent of Drilling through a building in the middle of a populated area to bypass the Tohsaka's and Church surveilance wards and bounded fields.

She couldn't complain, her arsenal was improved vastly thanks to his insane Prana reserves and quality of his summoning, current her would be quite a force to match even some lesser B rank Divinity servants so long their Magic resistance was reasonably low enough, which unfortunately meant only Assassin would likely be vulnerable. She and her Master lost no time once inside the city, the first nights were spent finding and properly avoiding all surveilance systems, Magical or not nested in the region, then reaching an area Master had prepared beforehand for her territory creation, a stupidly minor fight to satisfy her Territory creation NP requirements, a half assed surrender of the terrain and then spreading her blood there, and a new stronghold of hers was cheaply made. What complexity of using such convoluted Territory Creation NP of hers that made even the most famous Caster flee in shame? What of having such bothersome requirements? Her Master obliterated all such through contacts and loophole abusing the rules and requirements to enable Caster herself to have dozens of cheaply created domains. Next was a powerful tool brought to her hands thanks to Master and the Brit's efforts, INTELLIGENCE, INFORMATION! No war should be waged without that, no matter how pathetically small or secret it may be. A deep throve of data regarding each Master, their photos, faction or origin point as well as deep data Analysis brought by finding possible Summoning Catalysts they could have used and the classes filled by their servants. It really felt nostalgic, Mike, her Master for this joke of an Occultism Cabal war, and an Eternally 20ish year old looking immortal guy who just so happened to have offered Mercenary services to the Empire, then her Party, and later to Erya herself during the heydays of her as Head of the BND, not that the Daughter she birthed and raised to then pass the torch to was any different anyways. Looking like he always did, providing reliable and firm assistance and support while never truly exceeding his duties or authority, yet somehow he made me feel headaches from either my instincts of a honed HR manager or a Seasoned War veteran with deep Political skills, somehow his personality was great at that even if he performed any task without fail or flaw.

"Master..."

I decided to speak, feeling like the plan was not yet firmly set, but many factors worried me."

"Hm? Yes?"

Nolachantly eating some lamen in the dead of the night whilst drinking a strong spirit as if it was normal, he turns himself to Caster.

"May i know what's the plan? So far all we did was keep far away from fixed surveilance and any sightlines an Archer or Assassin could overwatch from, but what's the plan in detail?"

"Hm? That? For now, set as many advantageous fields i can get for you with ease, then fortify position 213, a building owned by an ARMS TRIGGER child conpany, Anson Clockworks Subsidiaries. Finest building for your strengths."

"And the combat?"

"Bait masters and servants into fighting into "supposedly makeshift domains", drag the fight, wait for Emiya to kill the masters, then teabag the enemy."

A simple plan with little to nothing wrong... If it didn't rely on making the most of the first two days to settle as many cheap cost max effect domains or their ally for the operation, Kiritsugu, to manage getting a good killing shot at the enemy servants.

"And how you expect ME to manage against the likes of Saber and Archer? Your Intel says both are about as terrible match as it could be for me."

"Saber? Let Emiya's Berserker deal with her, Archer? I assure you i can piss that stuck up asshole like no one, he will bullethell me rather than you and unlucky him... There's no conceptual weapon in Makind's unconscious that's been made a fitting match to me or my cousin."

Alright, the plan was as good as Churbull's overglorified plans during those damn World War 2 moments of my life, like a Boat of mud filled with more holes than Swiss cheese after being sprayed by a LMG-42 900 rpm full ammobox load. That's, it relied on many uncertainties nothing in the Intel covered for. Still a relatively sane plan that had realistic accounting of all parties abilities, to a degree. Having managed to squeeze five more domains thanks to Master deciding to just request his cousin to "knock" in the doors of the Einzberns and Tohsakas, by that it involved exploding an enchanted 1.8ton bomb (a "donation" from Germania's surplus stockpile of Fritz bombs, as it became nicknamed through Germanian Bomber crews for any guided bomb they fielded for use) on their strongholds, it took no genius to reason Assassin and Archer would either scout for what happened or fortify their master's stronghold respectivelly, it also helped keep Saber close to their Einzbern master as well. After that, Mike simply had her take full, and cheap, control of their Main base to make a Domain and was allowed to check how this place has been fortified.

For a supposed "clockwork" business, the fact they had Russy 125mm artillery guns, Albionese 500Kg bombs, Unified States Sentry turrets recalibrated to attack Maguses and Servants aside her plus the walls having plenty of cursified Metal plates creating a sort of "composite armor" structure for the Building as a whole, the amount of overkill payload set to hinder or self destruct this place if necessary, made it clear this "clockwork" business had been made just a few months before they came and stockpiled with whatever useless Junk the Brit thought would at least work as IEDs or annoyances for enemy servants. Reading more information that came via Brit and BND secret lines while her Master rested served well to pass time since as a Servant, Degurechaff didn't need rest anymore.

The next night became the innauguration for good of this war, guess that Master's cousin was also asked to leave some hint that those strikes were from a Master, nothing is a warmer and gentle welcome than just blasting a quarter of a Giant Mansion or a Manor of the owner of those lands to invite them for a peaceful and sweet talk over tea and coffee, right? The answer came through when i was having to deal with Lancer, user of two lances of annoying capacity, thankfully my enhanced stats and that the Master was arrogant enough to allow Lancer to try fighting me in the biggest domain i held control over, Fuyuki Cargo Harbor, meant his Surehit lance and unhealable wound lance were as good as oversized toothpicks that could skewer me, it helped he wasn't as ubiquitous as the Child of Eire or the teacher of said Child, so his power was about as good as mine currently. But picking a fight with the two most powerful players of this war so early comes with costs obviously, Einzberns decided to crash the Party, intent in finding whose master went to the lengths of giving them such an explosive wlecome gift, Saber, Arthur Pendragon (or more like Artoria Pendragon since she was a woman, odd how legends manage to muddle the gender of even the most famous heroes), didn't take much prodding to try attacking me, a bother, Lancer wasn't powerful to the level my Domain couldn't weaken him greatly, but Saber has absurdly high Magic resist, both from her Class container base stat adjustments and Artoria's very legend, no way i can fight such high caliber servant, more so when Sabers are the Hard counters of Casters inside their Domains.

[Master, Saber is here and wants a piece of my ass]

[So you really have a knack for wooing women, huh?]

Iddle chatter was the last thing i needed in the middle of having to handle a three way fight.

[MASTER! Can you or that damn self appointed Berserker HELP?]

[Sorry, sent invoice to him already, surely you can manage 300 seconds, right?]

That last part almost get me to frown or worse, get distracted in the middle of Saber striking relentlessly with that invisible sword. 5 minutes, really? Is this time another curse Being X plastered on my Life? That help or critical incidents in the middle of a life or death fight will always be related to a 300 second timer? Damn you Being X! No time to get too focused on the shitty self proclaimed god, i have an Angry Female Knight and a Cursed to be a Womanizer Lancer to stall, and that is what i will do.

[Oh yes, Caster, Emiya called and said Assassin is overwatching this party, he won't risk shooting Lancer's Master]

[So we baited them, got Saber in the mess, for no win? What's next? That pincushion maker from Uruk is coming as well?]

[Well... How about you raise more flags?]

Great, the plan brought no solid results, revealed the bulk of the strategy even if superficially and i still have 240 seconds before Berserker helps. Best first battle fucking ever. Since all i could do now was delay until either side decides to retreat or the mess grows even worse, i bet half my lifetime savings MORE servants will decide to intrude, i know it. At the moment, the battle has become a stalemate of me and the other two keeping each other at bay, but clearly they want me out of my Domain if just to weaken me, unlucky them, the Harbor itself is my domain, the Cargo area just so happens to have SEVERAL of my domains overlap, making this the figurative Center of my stronghold here, thanks to that, i can just stave and abuse my perks as a Mage type Caster, abusing Mage Flight to constantly keep myself more mobile than either Lancer or Saber and keeping appropriate distance from their Optimal range, manuver into their Strike blind zone, strike them, they evade or tank, i back off a bit, rinse and repeat, it's not for ridiculous reasons even in my Late years i still managed to easily overwhelm even the top graduates of Germania's Mage Academy, my skills and maneuverability in flight meant only the presence of Anti-Air Proximity fuse missiles, Jets with 30mm Autocannons or Rotatory Autocannons able to spew over 4000RPM made me obsolete as an Air mage, as Mages from OZEV were trained for the modern battlefield rather than what was the norm during my Devil of the Rhine days as an Imperial Mage. Still, my better maneuvering and flexibility to move myself meant such Open zones with decent cover and narrower spots meant i had the control of the space warfare currently, only Rider or Archer would put me at a disavantage on that aspect, Archer of this war was an actual pain in the ass no one would dare fight, no one but my Master i guess. How time flies, no pun intended, 20 seconds left.

Or so i wanted to believe, 15 seconds remaining and the asshole plated in Gold straight from Uruk mines decided to come, like Saber's Master, to force an answer out of whose Mongrel dared set some Fireworks in his Master's (that he arbitrarily called his, like any Tyrannical asshole would do) domain. And then Berserker arrived, a little too late to salvage the stalemate between three players, now a five player powder keg of which one is the embodiment of Dakka 40K if Dakka meant throwing Legendary weapons like Candy in a Hospital for Kids with Diabettes. And somehow the Conqueror, Iskandar also decided to come, for no reason aside trying to run over Berserker, who just flung like nothing an IED he snagged from whatever hyperspace arsenal he had, the blast did nothing to that menace if a Chariot, just swerved it enough for him to stylishly make a cringe inducing Dab pose on the would be reckless driver.

[Master, we have full house, who would have guessed? You did something?]

[Me? As if i needed, three servants in a fight is enough of a Prana beacon to attract even that prick like a Moth to the flame.]

[So? You're?]

[Somehow none of them noticed me, this stalemate is in Archer's favour, odds are everyone will back off if just because the asshole is but one person and so he will only be able to get rid of one in time, two if they're too stupid to not split away]

Fight him as one? He will just massacre everyone, domain or not, his power is still too much for me, and no one else is decked to counter him right now. From the looks, he clearly has not much to be angry at Saber or her Master, Lancer is a smug "not worth my time" i guess, Rider annoys him but he at least respect such brazen toomfoolery from the musclehead legend, me and (self appointed) Berserker? Guess i will have to watch the Lorya made of Gold if his eyes on me are anything to go by, as for my "teammate" for this war, either beneath his notice or he really just made himself be part of the background so much the shining Lorya esque asshole didn't realize berserker was even here.

Then a grinding sound came, right at the base of the Lampost Mr. I am King of Uruk with a Lorya type of depravity was standing high and mighty, everyone look at what or who is causing this noise. Lo and Behold, my Master, with a Circular Saw in an Improptu clamp mechanism you rather see on a Gang of Robbers who use Clown stylized Ballistic Masks than on a Grail war master, seconds later the post was sawed, forcing the Golden King of the Assholes to drop to same height as everyone, Master already far from archer.

"A MONGREL dares make me stand on the SAME LEVEL as them? DIE"

The fact somehow him breakdancing was enough for him to evade every single shot made by archer, more so when a dozen of those shots decided a target practice dummy he set while dancing was a priority over what their owner wanted hit. Guess an arrogant prick with Commie depravity tastes in women like a certain Lorya did have the same boiling point as a deranged Commie has, none. While his gaze on me made me hate him, i am sure anyone else here has to admit the bastard isn't fully fit to be a king, much less a Hero. And that a supposedly "Human" Master was capable of dodging his attacks, trolling him and provoking said Older than dirt legendary hero to the point he was now using his source of ammo five times the size he started with and blasting a quarter of the harbor into scrap metal and ground to dust concrete, my Master truly achieved what he wanted, take a piss at such an Asshole.

"Who's the idiot?"

Iskandar somehow is... Surprised, if the stupid huge grin in his face wasn't there.

"An idiot for sure... Or a servant maybe?"

Lancer decides the situation has gone away already, then he retreated since his master fled the harbor once the wave of Shining golden destruction got way too close to his vantage point.

"Idiot or not... He's dead"

Saber and the Einzbern homunculus decide to leave, the heat of battle no longer there, also the current amount of destruction got the apoint they had to call the fight over. Since the Secrecy rule had to be obeyed.

"So, Berserker."

"Yeah?"

"Is he THAT much of a troll?"

"I guess."

He went off his own way, since the fight was over. I decided to just undo SOME damage usingy Domain rights, at least to some of the "Special" containers and those hiding them, after that, i left, telling Master i would go to one of the safehouses to wait him. When i was far enough from the Harbor to see the (obviously late) first responders, but still in range to still hear the explosions and (my imagination i guess) laughts and mad screeching of my Master and Archer respectivelly, before the enormous Golden Light that was Archer's Noble Phantasm disappeared, guess his Master got tired of such fit of petty rage and decided a Command seal was the only way to get his servant to stop his actions, at least THAT was a net positive anyone will agree with.

[Master, you still alive?]

Deciding to be Polite, i contact him.

[Yes, I'M ALIVE! At least i got a souvenir too!]

[What?]

[A Spear, from the looks, a Proto Longinus spear, if i snap and remold it, it will make a nice bayonet, suck it Lootbox lovers! I got a free SSR weapon!]

[Yeah, free, you just robbed the most Narcisistic Paedo arrogant cunt of a golden plated bastard that is the younger version of Uruk's King, that truly was free.]

Somehow, i feel a very heavy headache coming, Archer in this war will clearly be a thorn for me, once he finds whose Master is Mine.