Chapter 3: Fate/Zero: A Winner is the Kaiserin

Summary:

Winning something akin to a Competition made of the most talented heroes of Human History should feel good... But the Grail war was anything but that.

Chapter

Fuyuki Event Hall and its surroundings burned in fire that refused to extinguish, causing heavy anguish, deaths and untold horrors to many. On top of the rubble that once was the Fuyuki building made for large events, the Silver Chancellor hovered just above a Pile of it that wasn't scorched by the ominous fire. Not that she or her Master, much less Kiritsugu and his "Berserker", were to blame, fault this scam that called itself Holy Grail, curse Being X, Curse that shithead Golden coloured Uruk Lorya! Not that blaming any if those would make the fire go away, Gilgamesh had been kicked out of the Party alongside Rider, by means of firing at both of them in the middle of a fight with a 600mm Type-3 Artillery shell, the ginormous explosive Piece of Artillery was enchanted by me, magically enhanced by me and then sent by my own Master to those two, guess that neither saw it coming that a Master would go Allahu Akhbar against them, much less just come unharmed out of it.

Then, if i am the winner of this scam the Magus called the "Holy Grail", granter of Wishes, how come A large area of Fuyuki is on fire? That's simple dear readers. That Piece of shit overglorified funny grail had been carrying the imprisoned wish of he-who-embodies-all-evils-of-humanity, that's to be released and plunge the world into untold horrors, it tried baiting me into making my wish, convincing me it could only grant a wish in the way the wisher could achieve by themselves and all the snake oil merchandising bullcrap newspeak one can expect of an existence as self proclaimed like Being X, at least the sucker stuck inside the Grail had left proof he wasn't mere bark, take that you X-Being of questionable lack of competence! Anyways, i just shrugged, demolished the flimsy excuses, and then my master barged into the Grail filled with all that corrupting mud to provide the literal and proverbial ass raping to that so called all-evil-of-the-world, to say only part of the city had to burn as cost for that moment of the Unethical unstopable force meeting the irresponsible immovable mountain forcing themselves through a needlehole size gap between eachother was an understatement.

As for the other Servants? How they got kicked out?

Lancer's Master was baited into a Honeypot trap, somehow the idiot fell for the oldest trick in the books for an Assassin, not helped by the killer being Mike's Partner, an alluring woman of impecable charm, even i wouldn't feel bad sleeping once with her, if that wasn't something called Betraying my beloved wife Visha, yeah, yeah, never would i go to bed someone but my lovely and beautiful wife! Never, i assure you all! Even after death i am not going to pull such thing! Anyways...

Kirei was stuck with an Assassin, i guess even the church didn't think someone would summon a Headless horseman and lob it at the Kotomine Parish, pity Risei, who failed to realize his Son was a soon to bloom psychopath, but don't pity hin for trying to pull such underhanded schemes as the Arbiter of this free for all bloodsport, Kirei didn't stood a chance against a Headless horseman made by using a Crusader Body charging into the Parish laughing like Schugel would usually laugh, using a Roman centurion sword for some reason i can't see even now, whatever happened for the mishmash of stuff, that crime scene became a headline for the History.

Saber got to experience the Lite version of the namemaker of my Great War Aerial Mage career, decapitation strikes. Berserker for sure pulled his weight, constantly keeping either or both Saber and Rider off my back long enough for my Advantages in every battle to stack aplenty, including one time i managed to simply bully the Asshole king of Uruk himself with HIS OWN BABYLON GATE no less, thanks to my "Art of the Possible" Noble Phantasm, not enough for a win that time, but if Berserker played along and kept a targeted servant in a hold position while i used my Trump Card, i could just harass any enemy with their own weapons. Still, Fighting Saber turned to be a rsther serious and dragged battle, i am glad my Master had more than Enough Prana reserves, fighting her, stalemating the battle long enough while keeping her from using Excalibur to blast me to Dacia from Akitsushima, until Berserker could come and keep her held, then my Master decided to go funny troll, and went into a Jaeger hunt of Saber's Master, Iriesvel, with a PGW-20, a 20mm Bolt Action Anti-Material Rifle, trying to kill her with enchanted 20mm ammo would be too easy he said, so he started loading APDS that this gun was never mesnt to use for good and tried to hit her like a Musketeer would try hitting the broadside of a barn from 20m distance. I had to go and just off that Master if just because his trolling bully session went for FIFTY minutes, he truly got wasteful with Saber's case.

Berserker and Kiritsugu were sent off, they lost the war, but the Magus Killed was awarded a Pseudo grail that would award him something tangible and possible under his human capacities. Me and my Master? The Grail took physicsl shape, flooded the Event Hall with some nasty sludge that dragged me into it. And the rest is as i told earlier.

"So, master..."

"Yes, Kaiserin?"

I count to ten with my eyes shut, damned be the bastards who made my Name be glued to all the titles they threw onto me! All i wanted initially was a cushy position in a smalltime Political Party back then! And oh how so wonderful my life went as Germania came to Idolize me as if i was a Goddess of Wisdom and War incarnate, then as i aged stuck as President-Chancellor, came the titles, nesr Germanian Levels of Idolization from OZEV member citizens and even fucking Franquish, Labionese, Russy and American people started having growing idolization of me! By the last decade of my time in that Position, i couldn't make one step or breath a word without it being treated as Holy gospel! Damnit be this world for somehow deciding i am fit for being the highest, most powerful and capable human to ever be engraved into this Bullcrap of a Throne of Heroes!

"Isn't this scam of a War finished? Shouldn't i be returning to that crappy space i have to call home?"

His face for once turned into something that was not annoying his enemy, trolling his allies or just pokerfacing with that smile of his.

"Yeah? But i guess that since the Grail was never used for a wish or even just shut off entirelly without the official procedures, the war isn't over "according to the rules"? Whatever it's we just need to wait."

Damn you pesky bei-

"Oh yeah! Remembered now, Being X, you call that cuck of a Loser that, right? He got into a "divine barfight" with a drunkard useless goddess, then offended an Outer god, and now has been sentenced to the most depraved perpetual endless sentence of being Cucked."

"So?"

"He wasn't able to do anything to you ever since a week after you killed Mary Sue."

Either he is trying to smoothen my mood or just throwing this news from left field as a Joke. Anyways, i am happy that prick of a self aclaimed Being humiliated himself and is now serving a deserving sentence for until existence ends itself.

"Back to topic, what you mean wait? Stay here and see if i am sent back to the throne?"

"If you want, we travel the world, go back to Germania-"

"-Germania? As soon i step there Erya, rather, the ENTIRE nation will burst into some aburdly bout of happiness for me being back, i will be stuck in that Chancellor-presidency position again and now with an added "not even death keeps our Holy Kaiserin away from us!" Type of shit!"

I don't know what's worse, still being here thanks to the Grail rules technicalities or the fact me being here meant i had nowhere to settle peacefully into.

"Well... If you want to stay low... Maybe if i help?"

"Go on..."

The plans of that night, amidst the rampant cursed fire that ravaged Fuyuki, made that scenario feel like both it fit my mood aftewards and made for a Dissonant backdrop for the absurd idea he proposed. Later once the fire was magically contained, thanks to Master and his other three pals, we found a Child, alive, that lasted such horrible blaze made of curses and negative energies set out of control.

11 years later

Since the Grail decided it being disposed improperly without even a Wish being made by the winners meant the 4th war never ended, i was stuck for good as Degurechaff Caster, embodying my Silver Chancellor history. I now settled myself in Tokyami city, the neversleeping City of Akitsushima and their Biggest Metropolis. Making my Living as the Most Famous creator of Germania-Chan Mangas, praises for being so on point to the Original design yet with exceptional new flair to it as well. My Master of the (never to be concluded) 4th war, Mike, left one of his Many Quantun Clones to act as script writter and manager (and occasional Lawyer) of my Germania-Chan IP, with me in the somewhat luxurious (For Akitsushiman standard, and moreso a Tokyami inhabitant) Apartment, was Shirou Eyami, that Child that survived the fire was adopted by me, and Master, and helped both with my Mangaka work and house chores, his cooking was nowadays nearing my late Wife's levels, makes me wonder if it's illegal in This Akitsushima to marry a non blood related fsmily member... How have i fallen, all one needs to be is a good cook and loyal like my First and Last Love of my living days...

Every now and then, Erya or Annya (Daughter of Anna, who served as Elya's most trusted subordinate, i don't know what has been going with Germanian departments that were closely tied to me, but many Children of people i trusted during my time inherited those same roles, and remained just as capable if not better) came by to talk with me, and once in a while ask me if i REALLY don't want to become the Immortal Kaiserin of Germania, i politely refuse always, telling them i DIED ALREADY, this world is for the Living to shape, not me, a Dead Legend among Legends of the contemporary era brough back to life forcibly, me being stuck here for an Indefinite time was just a technical error caused by shitty rulemaking of this scam Grail. Their argumentation to try getting me to return were getting crafty however. It's not even remotely Possible my Germania-Chan Mangas have been turning into such Worldwide top sellers to the Point it's affecting entertainment worldwide, no fucking way! It's only normal for the Popular series to get Animes, Animated Movies, Merchandise made and then sold out in seconds, cosplaying as Kaiserin or Germania-Chan (Most Adult women went for the former, while Children and younger teenagers in their Chuuni periods went for the latter it seems) being the norm is typical when a Series become top 1 seller for four years straight. But in no fucking way is my Mangas based of that character and myself being so Popular it's causing a shift in mediums worldwide. US-tan and Albion-kun are merely uncreative hacks trying to leech off my IP fame, not someone following the fad, no way.

They at least accept that for the time being, i'm not interested in returning to Germanian Government, yet they believe. Last time they left me some gifts, such as Photos of Germanian Helicopters using Germania-chan for a Military PR stunt, the retired Büzlow now anchored in the touristic port had a stall for Germania-chan trinkets and for some reason EVERY DAMN library in every OZEV member state had a section dedicated solely to my Mangas. I know that bloc Adores me with religious fevour and i understand. But why would they put a photo and a small newspiece cutout of a Francois Parliament member DIVORCING because he decided to buy a Germania-chan painjobed sportscar? Or that the Unified states Comics industry was trying hard to smear campaign my IPs while Floridole state governor publicly praises my series, he was even wearing a comemorstive T-Shirt relased only two days ago no less.

On other notes left by them, was that they started hitting hard on Maguses, by hard they meant coordinating with the best Spec Ops Mages the Army had available in Germania at any given time to nip them for good, OZEV intel sharing has also been thorough in making Maguses persona non grata there, the church enforcers she reported were a though bunch, but nothing the new Type 404 orbs and Kürbz PAWs, 40mm Autocannons made for Mage use weren't able to blast through, the fact Enforcers were interrogated to reveal all secrets then killed thoroughly makes me think that the Germanian inner circles now hold a deep seated hatred for both Magi and the Dark sides of the Church (and other Religious groups no less) and were putting their best effort to wipe them out of OZEV if not the planet. I hope their efforts to wipe such amoralistic bunch of savages go well. After all, it seems they're for following both my wishes for Germania and OZEV while fulfilling their thirsty for Blood.

A few months later, i accompanied Shirou into Fuyuki, if just for his yearly Visit in the Burnt area.