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4

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Quite

Then Kurt met Adam.

They met through Elliot and Dani and the band and they hit it off. Adam was British and on Broadway.

He somehow slipped through Sebastian's net and got close to Kurt. It was ok, Sebastian did a background check on him after the fact. He wasn't intimidated, he didn't hit on Sebastian, he didn't bore Sebastian and he passed all the tests.

Sebastian actually really liked Adam and liked him for Kurt. He was kind and patient and genuine and real. He really liked Kurt, thought Kurt hung the moon and the stars. Thought Kurt was absolutely amazing and was there for him through everything that happened next.

Burt got sick and had to go through medical testing and treatments and Adam was right there, supporting Kurt, holding him up and helping him keep things down at home and work and took over Sebastian's role. He didn't stray when Kurt didn't have time to talk or lose interest. He fought off in his subtle way any one who was interested in Kurt, anyone who wanted to ruin the relationship.

Adam was self-confident and assured and trusted and believed in Kurt. He was everything Kurt could possibly need. He sparked Kurt's imagination and kept him grounded and present too.

Kurt wrote him songs and sang for him and spent a lot of time at Adam's and vice versa.

Sebastian became really good friends with Adam too and tried to convince himself that he wasn't jealous of their closeness. It's what he wanted for his best friend. He'd helped make this happen. Maybe he hadn't been looking for Adam in particular, but he did want his friend happy and with a solid good guy who he could stomach too.

Elliot didn't seem to have any problems sharing Kurt with Adam and neither would Sebastian. Except... it didn't seem as easy for Sebastian. He forced a smile onto his face and pretended that it didn't bother him and he did like Adam. He hadn't been jealous when Elliot became Kurt's friend. This was just a boyfriend, it shouldn't make a difference to Sebastian. He'd lived through boyfriends before, it never really mattered in the past.

It really shouldn't have bothered him when he knew that Kurt was finally getting intimate with a guy again and it was Adam. Adam had treated him right and would continue to do so. He did continue to do so.

Adam was wildly successful on the stage. He was so believable and good and talented. He sang beautifully and he would take them all out after a show and serenade Kurt in return. He pulled Kurt up for duets, would sing with Kurt and Elliot and even managed to get Sebastian up there. Dani would pop up and sing with them too and any number of different combinations.

Adam asked Kurt to move in with him.

Sebastian waited with a baited breath when he overheard Adam ask that. They were at their apartment and on the couch. They didn't even realize Sebastian was home. He wasn't supposed to be, he had popped in for a few things and was going to head back out again, he had a guy he was seeing himself. He was going to be spending the weekend at his place.

"I... I don't know Adam." Kurt held his hand. "I've lived here for so long and you're the first guy I've been with in a long time and it just seems so quick and I-." Kurt was starting to go into panic mode and Sebastian wanted to step forward and stop him before he disappeared into a different world.

Adam beat him to it. "Hey, it's ok." Adam shook his hand a little. "I'm not going to push, I get it. We've only been together for a few months but it's been such a good few months and I was hoping we could continue down that path, go onto the next stage. I'm willing to wait, to let you ask me." Adam winked and Kurt melted and smiled at him. Adam was as good as his word. He really did love Kurt.

That love was obvious in everything he did and a few months later, Adam was saying it out loud to Kurt.

Kurt had that wild panicky look in his eyes again but Adam reassured him that he didn't need to say it. How much did Adam know about Kurt's past? He was so calm and reassuring and not pushing at all, but wanted Kurt to know his feelings without expecting anything in return.

Adam was a God-damned Saint.

His calm, patience and reassurance was healing for Kurt. He wanted it to be, didn't ask for more, didn't push for more. Got more, he got Kurt in his bed and on his arm and Kurt looked at him with stars in his eyes. It reminded Sebastian of the hearts in his eyes when he looked at Blaine. That hadn't ended well.

Kurt had never been one to hold back in the past. Yet he was all in with Adam in a lot of ways he wasn't with others and yet running scared at the same time.

Sebastian watched all of this without saying anything. He was afraid that if he did, it would be to encourage Kurt to follow Adam down that path he was heading down. He didn't want Kurt that far away, didn't want Kurt to no longer live with him. He didn't want to lose what he had with Kurt.

Kurt finally said he loved Adam.

Then Adam was asking Sebastian to help him pick out a ring.

Sebastian nearly threw up but he went with Adam and fought down his nausea the whole time. Two of his best friends were going to get engaged and then married.

Before Adam could ask though, he found out that West End wanted him to star in a very famous production and it was a role of a lifetime. Adam asked Kurt to come with him, it would only be for a few months and they could fly back and forth easily and for cheap.

For Kurt who had grown up in the poorest town, had barely escaped it and somehow made it big enough in the City to be comfortable, this was a very foreign concept. Adam and Sebastian viewed it as perfectly normal. "Keep the apartment." Sebastian had suggested to Adam and Adam agreed, knowing that was probably for the best and had been planning on it too. "You always have a place here, this is still your home." Sebastian told Kurt when he looked worried about going with Adam to London.

Kurt breathed in deeply and nodded and agreed to spend a few months with Adam in London, giving not only a new country a go, but also living with a boyfriend a go.

Sebastian said goodbye to them at the airport and felt like he was saying goodbye permanently, despite what he said.

He went home and did finally throw up and then found himself crying. He didn't understand the tears. Then all too clearly, he did, but it was too late to do anything about it.

Three weeks later, his front door slammed shut and footsteps stomped heavily on the floor. "Sebastian Smythe, get your ass out here, right now!" He'd never heard Kurt so livid and he came out to see what the matter was. He swore that if Adam became a totally different person in London, he would skin him.

Kurt looked fine, just red flushed and blue flames in his eyes. "Yes?" He asked carefully, realizing the anger was directed at him.

"You have a lot of nerve!" Kurt hissed at him and Sebastian was a bit fearful of coming closer. Kurt had no problem with that as he stalked up close to Sebastian and started jabbing him in the chest with his finger. "You're such a damn scaredy cat! How could you do this to me?"

"What's wrong?" Sebastian trapped his hand against his chest, realizing this was the first time they'd really touched. They never said they loved each other as friends, Kurt would do that to Finn and Finn was just his dad's new son through marriage. They never even spent that much time together. Sebastian had been afraid to touch or say those things, he realized now because it would unlock this, this that he had avoided until it was too late.

"You knew he was going to ask me to marry him. You just let him whisk me off to London, move in with him over there and wish us good luck. All the while you've been lying to me, lying to yourself! How long have you known? How long? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Kurt?" Sebastian wasn't sure what was happening now.

"You helped him pick out my ring? You think I wouldn't pick up on it?" Kurt shook his head and ripped himself away from Sebastian to pace the length of their living room. "All this time, you've been harboring these feelings and wasting so much time."

"Oh, so he asked you then?" Sebastian asked feeling burnt out and exhausted all of a sudden. He sank down into the closest chair. "When did he ask?"

"Yesterday." Kurt waved it off.

"Why are you here then instead of celebrating with him?" Sebastian eyed his friend, this was such strange behavior from him. He didn't want Kurt to be off celebrating his engagement but that's what he should be doing.

"Because I'm here, trying to figure out why the hell you haven't told me your true feelings until now. You have some nerve telling me the way you did."

Sebastian frowned. "I didn't drunk dial you."

"Ha!" Kurt whirled toward him. "So you admit it out loud."

Sebastian sighed and sank into the back of the chair. "What is this Kurt?" He was emotionally wrung out now.

Kurt came over and sat down on his lap and Sebastian sat up startled by the move. This was not appropriate and nothing they'd done before. Still, his hands came around Kurt, but didn't push him off as he thought he would "Yep, should have known but I was blind too." Kurt shook his head and put his hands on Sebastian's face. "I was given permission to do this." He leaned forward and kissed Sebastian.

Sebastian instantly kissed him back, deepening it, hands seeking warm flesh beneath the clothes and Kurt's fingers dug into his shirt, bunching it up into his hands and managed to pull away with a loud sound and gasp.

"Damn it." Sebastian dropped his head onto Kurt's shoulder. "You weren't supposed to find out about it. I was content to be your friend."

"Were?" Kurt asked, breathless.

"You're going to get rid of me now that you know I harbor more than friendship toward you."

"Bas, baby, I wouldn't drop our friendship over that. I wouldn't have dropped our friendship even if you made a move and I was totally utterly in love with Adam and engaged to him or married to him. You have never been inappropriate with me, we've had history together and I would have tried to understand the root cause. We'd have worked through it together." Kurt ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair, making it more presentable after disrupting the style it had been in. "But I would have appreciated a more direct approach than letting some other guy give me the ring you wanted to give me."

"What are you talking about?" Sebastian asked with a shake of his head, really not understanding it.

"I remember the day I pointed that ring out. You've known about it for years and you remembered. You said you could see it having a comfortable home on my finger for the rest of my life. We let it drop there and tried not to think too hard about it or into it but I remembered. When Adam presented that ring to me when he asked me to marry him yesterday, I broke down but not in a good way. He encouraged me to come back here today and sort things out with you."

"He's a damn saint." Sebastian groaned, dropping his head back against the chair's back. "He even gave you permission to kiss me."

"Yeah, he did. Said to get it out of our system and see if it meant more."

"He is amazing. So cool." He really was, Sebastian was incredibly jealous of that coolness. If he'd had Kurt on his arm there was no way in hell he'd be that cool about things. He would definitely no be encouraging him to go kiss another guy to see if there was anything there.

"Yeah, I broke up with him." Kurt said matter of factually as if it wasn't a big deal and Sebastian sliced a look at him through lidded eyes. Kurt shrugged. "I didn't want to be with someone who was cool with me kissing someone else. Even if that someone else was you and whether or not it meant something in the end. I didn't want to be tethered to him in any way if this did mean something and if it didn't, well, it would have just been odd to go back to him afterward." Kurt looked away and then back at Sebastian with a bit of a coy smile. "I was hoping it would mean something."

"It does, for me at least." Sebastian was quick to reassure, sitting up again, hands going back to Kurt's hips.

"It does for me too." Kurt answered.

"But... you just broke up with Adam. This is too soon. I'm willing to wait."

"I'm not." Kurt came forward and covered Sebastian's mouth with his again. "You've been waiting too long and so have I."

"How long-." Sebastian managed to get out before he was pulling Kurt closer, he wasn't close enough, he would never be close enough.

"Too long." Kurt peppered kisses over Sebastian's face. "But I ignored it, told myself I was an idiot and that I was wrong. You definitely didn't feel the same way. I was blind to it or just couldn't see, or convinced myself otherwise."

"We both did." Sebastian slipped his hands under Kurt's shirt. "I've always been jealous, I just didn't know it, had never experienced that outside of you. I didn't know what the feeling was."

"Mmm-hmm." Kurt agreed, mouthing at Sebastian's jaw. "Too many clothes."

"Yeah, ok." And just like every time before, he would give Kurt exactly what he wanted, what he needed, what they both needed and wanted.

The answers to the questions would have to change now too but then again, the questions would change.