Part 3: I'm not wearing a fucking dress, let's just sign some goddamn papers!
Ymir silently followed blondie. Yeager was beside him, prattling on about how unfair the whole thing was to him. Basically, whining like the little bitch he was. Fuck. This was all such bullshit, true, but bitching about it was just gonna give her a headache.
"I mean, I swear to god Armin, why can't it just be the breeding like Hanji talked about? I don't wanna marry Ymir of all people. It's like, like marrying another guy!" Fucking hell, this was gonna blow, Yeager wasn't even all that hot. Not that she'd ever rated anyone besides Christa-no, Historia. But like, seriously, she'd take short blonde and girly over Yeager any day.
"Thanks for that, You know how to sweet talk a girl, huh Yeager?"
"Pfft, as if. You're more a man than me."
"That's not all that hard a thing to do, hell, blondie over there's about the only one less manly than you."
"What's it to you anyway?"
"Tch. I don't like this any more than you do. I mean, now my beloved Chr-Historia will die alone and a virgin!" That should end things there, Yeager will get distracted, and then silence. Which was better than dealing with his shitty mouth.
It didn't take much effort to get into commander loudmouth's office. Just a nice quiet walk to what felt like an execution. Well, it was an execution, of her freedom. But nevermind that, everybody that's gonna be here is here.
"So, to start this meeting off, I suppose I should start with why I called you both here." He paused, like he was waiting for an outburst. Well, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. Yeager probably would, cause he's an emotional retard with daddy issues anyway.
To her surprise, he in fact, did not throw a temper tantrum. Instead, he nodded at the commander.
"The reason I called yoou both here is to inform you that your ceremony will be taking place at dusk tonight."
"Excuse me what the fuck!"
"You can't be serious sir!"
"Yes, anyways, you Eren, will go with captain Levi for preparations. And you, Ymir. Will go with Hanji for yours." He said, leaning back in his chair.
"What's there to prepare? Just gimmie the goddamn paper."
Erwin exhaled loudly. "No. This is more to boost morale, and further provide some veneer of legitimacy to this whole experiment."
"I'm not wearing a dress."
"Well one of you has to. Tradition and all that shit." Captain shrimpdick piped up, pissy as usual.
"Well, it's gonna be Yeager. I'mma be wearing the balls in this relationshit."
"Just go." The commander, she'd have to give him a fun name too, looked tired. Probably of Yeager's bitchy-ass whining.
It was absolutely hideous. Frilly white sleeves. Fucking yellow trim? Damn, even she had better taste than Titan-slut. And, she was no fashionista, but those shoes did not even approach anywhere near complimentary. I mean, seriously, fucking red shoes with pink ribbons!? Ew. Just fucking ew.
"I'm not wearing the dress."
"You have to wear a dress, commander's orders."
"No, he said that one of us had to wear a dress. And that somebody sure as hell ain't me." Ymir trailed off, searching for a decent excuse.
"Besides, Yeager's just gonna stain it with his jizz the moment anyone so much as whispers 'titan' anywhere near him."
Titan-slut gave a half wheezing smirk. Apparently 'titan' made her all hot and bothered too. Who'd have thinked it? Well, anyone that even knew of her in passing, but that was besides the point.
"I'd really hope not. This was Captain Levi's fiancee's dress y'know." Fucking guilt-tripping bitch. Yeah, well, it wasn't gonna work on her.
"And besides, your year-mates will have complimentary dresses too." Oh, well, that changes everything. Historia in a dress? That complimented hers? Titan-slut really knew how to bargain.
"Give it here. But I'm still pissed off, make sure you add that to your little fetish journal."
Comment, because I'd largely forgotten about this until I checked my email and saw reviews.
Anyway, wedding next chapter, crack porn after that.