Is the ring on my finger supposed to choke me?

So, her wedding day. Every girl dreams of it. Well, except for Mikasa, she was probably plotting on how to best rape her brother. Wait, was Yeager her brother? Whatever. Now, where was she? Ah, yes. Chri-Historia's titties in the shower. Hehe.

And of course, those bitches had to come in and ruin her fun. Cause, here came that jingling. Probably Titan-slut. No, wait. Ah, just Armin. Gotta give him a nickname too. Maybe call him titan-cock... ew, no, that was far too nice anyways. Whatever, he's talking now.

"And, so I was chosen to walk you in."

"Ah, so. You're my daddy then?" Armin sighed raggedly.

"Please don't put it like that, it sounds super weird."

"Fine. When do we leave?"

"As soon as you get dressed."

They'd really gone all out. Really. The mess hall was decorated with all kinds of lights and shit.

"So, uh. Blondie?"

"Hm?"

"You gonna cry when your baby girl kisses her princess charming?"

"No, but Eren's gonna scream tonight."

"Excuse me what the fuck!?"

"Oh, yeah. Haven't you noticed? He's a screamer. Like that about everything... trust me, he was top bunk for three years."

Okay, this was oddly sexual for the scrawny nerd. But then again, she had caught him more than once fucking his way through their training class. But, still? Eren as a screamer, she could totally see that. But also, unfortunately, have to hear that. Hopefully she went deaf halfway through.

"Oh, look at that. Showtime."

This was gonna suck a massive horse cock. Fucking hell, Yeager of all people. She'd have even settled for Mikasa. She was fucking crazy as all hell, but butch enough that she could enjoy it.

"Oh, by the way, the commander made some slight changes to your cover story, to make it seem more... uh, I mean, less suspicious."

"And?" She was not going to like this one bit, she just knew it.

"Well, the new script is that you two've been dating in secret for the last year or so."

"It makes sense I guess..." Ymir grimaced. "if you're completely retarded."

Ymir could hear the shitty ass music playing, as blondie began to lead her to her fate. She sighed heavily, breathing in freedom for the last time. The doors swung open.

She kept up a deadpan expression, idly noting the way Mikasa was plotting to murder her, which was fine by her so long as her dear Historia would go down with her. And of course, her charming groom looked like he too wanted to be dead rather than participate in this most... interesting, of arrangements.

She barely registered blondie patting her arm and his whispered 'Good luck.'

"Alright, we are gathered here today to officialize the union between one Eren Yeager, and Ymir... of no last name." Erwin drolled on.

Was horsey-boy trying not to laugh? Cause she'd have to kick his dick in later. And also midget, and whatever his name was over there... and that guy with the glasses too. Point is, her hitlist was gonna be fucking massive by the end of today.

"...and you, Ymir?" The commander asked her. Yeah, she'd blanked out again.

"Yeah, sure. I guess."

"Close enough." He sighed. "Now kiss."

Ymir was outraged. Marry the fucker? Sure. Fuck him and pop out kids, yeah whatever. But she drew the line at public makeouts."

"Ew, fuck no!"

As if expecting this, Erwin turned to whatever fatass official it was that had been sent to spy on this to basically suck his cock. But with words.

"I'm so sorry sir, but I should've mentioned that the new Mrs Yeager is a bit... shy about public displays of affection."

"Its just a simple kiss, surely if they've been 'together' for more than a year now, she wouldn't mind? I mean, they must have done much more, you and I know just how many female trainees have to leave so suddenly?"

She was fucked. Plain and simple. May as well get this over with.

"Fine." She huffed pissily. "C'mere Yeager"

She forced her lips onto his, putting as much pressure on him as she could muster, anger giving her strength. To satisfy this fatfuck's sick fetishes, she forced her tounge into Yeager's mouth, knocking them both over in the process. Eventually, satisfied both in that the fat bastard's fetish was settled, and that Yeager was beaten into submission, Ymir shoved him away.

"There. Damn." She looked around. "Now, where's my fucking cake?"

I WORK TWO JOBS AND GO TO COLLEGE, THAT'S WHY THE QUALITY IS SHIT AND UPDATES ARE SLOW. GIVE ME REVIEWS AND YOU GET MORE FASTER.

PORN NEXT CHAPTER.

AND YES, I'M BASING YMIR AND EREN'S DYNAMIC ON A PAST RELATIONSHIT, CRANKED UP TO 27/10 OBVIOUSLY.