Chapter Thirty-Five: How to Cope
She was trapped. Suffocating. Her body writhed when she realized the weight over her form was crushing her, unyielding, and she parted her lips to emit the building shriek.
Not one, but two bodies startled, jolting away from her, and she bolted upright, panting heavily, scrambling backwards until her spine hit the headboard. Her wide eyes darted back and forth between the duo, panic slowly giving way to confusion until it settled on a borderline of calm.
"S-Sorry," Chloe muttered. "That was my fault," she yawned. "I'm a cuddly sleeper…"
"Were you the one that was almost on top of me?" Her voice sounded shrill, but she cleared her throat a few times, wincing as Chloe nodded.
"Are you okay?" Adrien's level voice didn't match the nigh overwhelming concern on his face, but she signaled she was fine with a jerk of her head.
"I just woke up feeling trapped, sorry," she croaked, rubbing her arms.
"Sorry," they said in tandem, and she cringed.
"Nobody's fault," she countered, continuing to rub at her skin, willing the shame and vulnerability away. Her eye twitched, and she brought her knees up to her chest, rocking a little. "Shouldn't have made a big deal," she murmured, pressing her face into the two joints.
"If it bothers you, it is a big deal," Adrien said softly, and she felt the bed shift.
He wasn't moving anymore, and she peeked up from her knees. He was only a few inches from her, his face unsure of whether he could even hug her, and it made her chest tighten in excruciation.
"P-Please," she croaked, nodding, and he closed the distance, wrapping his arms protectively around her. He kissed her head gently several times, and she sighed, letting her eyes slide closed, leaning into his weight.
However, the moment her lids shut, she saw the images seared behind them. Luka. It was always Luka, and her entire body stiffened, her heart quickening.
"Open your eyes," Chloe blurted out loudly, startling the pictures away as she jerked her bluebell orbs open, gulping for a breath of air.
"Chlo'?" Adrien sounded confused, and the blonde woman gave her head a few hard tosses.
"She was fine until she closed her eyes," she whispered, hoarsely, her own beautiful eyes a little too wide for her face. She licked her lips nervously. "I saw…her face twisting," she explained so softly Mari almost didn't hear. "W-Were you starting to see s-something bad?"
The bluenette's brows pulled together, but she swallowed. "Y-Yes," she breathed, the sound barely pushing by her clenched teeth.
"I-It helps me…t-to say the name of someone I'm w-within in the strongest voice I c-can," she murmured, looking away. "If I'm a-alone I have one memory I start describing out l-loud in detail to try and distract…from the p-pictures."
Marinette felt Adrien's body go completely still. "Chloe?"
She waved a hand, almost flippantly. "You sh-should try that, and if you're with Adrien, you should t-try opening your eyes if that makes it worse and focus on h-his, or say his name and look at him. A-Assure yourself that you're not…b-back there and you're with s-someone who cares about you."
Mari's heart ached. She stared at the defeated look crossing the blonde's face, and pulled free from Adrien's arms, crawling desperately to close the distance between her and the girl. She shouldn't feel so bad! She didn't want Chloe to look like that.
She threw her limbs around the woman, gripping tight, and she gasped. "M-Mari," she groaned, surprised. "It's o-okay. I'm okay," she replied, but her arms carefully snaked around the bluenette. "L-Life sucks sometimes, but you learn t-to move on."
Marinette pulled back a little, staring into Chloe's blue orbs, and she saw the carefully constructed strength there. It was fragile, and it was fracturing. "Chloe," she whispered sadly. What had she gone through by herself?
She watched the girl's eyes waver, and saw the tears building up. "J-Just be happy you're with someone who loves you and genuinely cares. Let h-him help you. Lean on him," she grunted, shoving the bluenette away, albeit, tenderly.
Her heart broke. Chloe was splintered, and she didn't even have someone who loved her? No, that wasn't true. "W-We love you, Chloe," she croaked, finally, surprising everyone. She was still upset that the blonde had deceived her, but if she had been honest, and Mari was sure she had, then she had tried to break free from the plan to hurt the couple. That…that deserved an effort on her part. Plus, she really did, truly, care about the woman now.
"Yes, we do," Adrein said firmly, crawling forward to wipe the girl's suddenly wet face with his palms. "We're here for you," he assured. "Both of us."
A sob broke from the woman's soft lips, and she covered her face. "I'm s-so sorry you guys!"
The man sighed, and grabbed both of them, ushering the women to his chest, holding them tight. At first, Mari felt the first wave of panic rising up in her chest from feeling trapped, but she looked up into his bright, loving green eyes. "A-Adrien." She tried to make her voice sound strong, but it wavered. "Adrien," she said more firmly, gazing at him, and the warmth she normally felt with him slowly ignited in her chest. A small smile touched her lips. "Adrien," she said softly, and Chloe snorted through her tears.
"That sounds better," she teased, sniffling.
"It works," she whispered, smiling wider, and a big lopsided grin graced his face, making her heart stammer.
"It w-won't every single time, not at first, but y-you'll find ways to feel better."
Mari swallowed audibly. Hearing Chloe talk so matter-of-factly about something that was traumatic was heart wrenching, but she nodded. She snuggled into both their warm bodies, and her eyes fluttered, but the moment they did she felt sick, tainted, and she jerked her skull back up, staring into blue eyes.
"Chloe," she said firmly, smiling. She stared as if she'd memorize every line of her worried face, a little sad at the puffy orbs. "Thank you, Chloe," she smiled. It helped a lot to remind herself of the people she cared for, rather than surrendering to the after images of what she couldn't change.
"Well, you're a quick learner, kid," she teased, offering a weak smile in return. "Just don't get all s-super mushy of me." She paused, hesitant, unsure. "It really helps to t-talk about it, honestly. I know you're probably not ready for that, but keep it mind. Talk to Adrien, talk to …m-me if you like, or your parents. Or even Alya. Pick someone, but you should talk about how you're feeling and what you remember." When the bluenette went rigid again, Chloe flinched. "I know…it doesn't seem worth it. You want to bury it and forget, but that will just make it worse, trust me. Talking and working through it is going to be a lot easier than you think. Not easy at first, but it'll help you feel much better far quicker."
Adrien growled low in his chest. "Tell me who to kill Chloe, and it's yours," he said suddenly under the weight of her pain, and she snorted, sniffling loudly.
"It's fine, I'm fine." She shrugged, leaning her body more heavily into the others. "I'm just happy you guys are willing to keep talking to me."
"Of c-course!" Mari tried to beam, but she felt like she was wincing a little more, and Chloe let out a burst of laughter, making the bluenette flush. "What are friends for?"
"I'm still your friend?"
"Always," she replied easily, and Adrien echoed her sentiment.
She buried her face into Marinette's shoulder, and her skin was immediately wet with the woman's tears, so they sat, holding each other. Adrien refused to relinquish his firm hold, but, the more they remained…the better Mari felt about it.
***POV Change***
Adrien stared at the text message as the girls conversed quietly on the floor, staring over some designs that Mari had done.
(2:37 p.m.) Henri: Your father will meet you in Venice. The new departure time is in your emailed itinerary.
They had been scheduled to leave that morning, but after sitting in the hospital for first two hours earlier waiting on Chloe, it had become clear making their train was going to be difficult. So, he'd messaged Nathalie with no response, and learned the woman was ill and had, for the time being, been replaced.
"We need to pack our things," he muttered dejectedly. He was hoping to speak to his father sooner, and maybe, get the girls home, to Paris, where they could be away from the strain and heal properly.
"O-Oh, okay," Chloe nodded.
"Venice?" Mari sounded meek, and he flinched.
"I tried to cancel, I'm very sorry," he said, sounding dejected. "I only wanted to get you both home safely.
"Oh, then, you're a complete failure," Chloe cut in sardonically, rolling her eyes in expert fashion. "C'mon, Agreste, we know who your father is. We aren't expecting miracles."
Marinette nodded in some form of distant agreement. "I've always wanted to see Venice," she muttered, staring at several pictures. Her mind wasn't even fully aware of the situation, it seemed.
"Showering is going to be awkward," he tried playfully. Both women regarded him then, and he chuckled. "Well, I'm not letting you out of my sight, so if you guys want to take turns, that's fine, but we're all staying in the bathroom together while we do so."
"Oh, for the love of—" Chloe rotated her gorgeous orbs again. "Is that really necessary?"
His face fell into hard lines. "Do I look like I'm kidding?"
Marinette squeaked, tugging on her friend's shirt. "Don't t-test him p-please."
Chloe groaned. "So, then?" She threw her hands up. "We all sit in the bathroom together and take turns?"
Marinette cringed. "That seems the best solution," her voice trailed off, unsure.
"Fine," Adrien offered. "Both of you can take turns first, then, I'll have my turn. Arguments?"
***POV Change***
Marinette was exhausted despite the short trip. Being on the train just made her nerves stand on edge, and pushing into the third mansion of their trip did little to impress her.
"A-Adrien," she whispered desperately, and he tugged her gently towards her room.
"Chloe, get in there, don't argue with me," he snapped irritably.
The woman snapped her mouth shut with an audible sound as both girls trudged into the large room, but instead of a canopy bed, this one had a single standard matrimoniale bed, with a headboard full of books. The entire room was a lavish sapphire and silver décor, and Marinette felt a smile tug on her lips.
"I like it," she breathed.
"Good, because you're not leaving other than for shoots," he replied brusquely, tossing his bag onto the floor. "Chloe, either," he added just as quickly.
"Why am I a prisoner?"
"Do you really want me to answer the question, Chlo'?"
She fell silent, and Mari cringed, sliding towards the bed, flopping back against it, staring up at the ivory ceiling. Was this what her life had become? Commands and control? Shame and guilt? Worthless screaming inside atop soul shattering disgust?
"Princess?"
"Princess?" Chloe's voice sounded vaguely disgusted as she repeated his affectionate term, and the bluenette jolted.
"I'm o-okay, just want to rest," she half-lied.
Chloe gave a deft nod, but Adrien regarded her with more severe interpretation, and she gulped. She wasn't fooling him, but he gradually nodded.
"Rest now, we'll talk later"
Oh, boy. She wasn't looking forward to that.
AUTHOR NOTES:
Holy…fuck nuts..I just figured out how I want to end this..and..I think it's awesome. Hope you all agree when we get there. Also….FUCK…I have 2 more 'fluff' stories (romance/angst) started in my head..and another epic (like threads) idea going…so…FUCK…does anybody want me to start these NOW or what until this crap is finished? I apologize for the delay and general crapiness of this chapter, but my work finally cut my entire job code from existence (my job is now gone) so I'm dealing with that. Sorry. I'll try to be on schedule with the updates (every day, as before) Hope this wasn't disappointing comparatively, we just learned some coping mechanisms for ….certain stressful situations. Thanks, sorry…really…truly…again..*lowers head* sorry, depression kicking in. I'm a chronic sufferer.
Norikins, I'm glad that my words are perfectly conveyed. I don't have much going for me…writing is one of the few things..I feel I might excel at…so to have people 'see' the things I see, is helpful. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Thank you, very much, truly, from the bottom of my heart.
Trying414, yeah, Lila sure deserved a butt kicking, but we still have more story to go, so we'll see what is going on. Sorry for the delayed chapter. Hopefully it isn't crappy. Sorry.
Kazza2182, I appreciate your kind words, and I sent you a private message on such things, but yeah, I've been through two separate, and unfortunately, very different degrees of experience of this type of assault, and it can make self worth and questioning your existence harrowing. I'm glad you're still with me, as you're one of my faithful, loyal, and trusted reviewers. Your name is one I look forward to seeing when I look in my emails, but don't let that make you feel obligated. Life is life, and shit happens…sorry if this chapter is shit. I have a lot going on.
Calerose, yes, Lila deserved it. You may very well be right, but I can't reveal anything yet..but you seem smart, and I'm sorry if it sucks? However, the show must go on, and hearts WILL be shattered before the end of the story. I try to be as 'canon' as possible, and…please KNOW .that it moves me…motivates me…inspires me…makes me happy when the darkness invades my heart and mind, to know that my words are so well done that you enjoy them so thoroughly. It helps keep my own demons at bay. Thank you.
Emjrabbitwolf, Oh, my dear friend…I truly wish I had the mental fortitude to give you the full attention you deserve today, but, sadly, I don't. However, that doesn't mean I won't try. As with most sexual assaults or any traumatic experiences in general, a lengthy period of recovery ensues, but I have a general feeling that with Chat/Adrien, and Queen/Chloe by her side, that Mari will have an easier (not EASY) time finding her way back to a balanced state. Adrien and Gustave BOTH deserve macarons and cookies, and bonuses for all the level headed calm and support they've shown so far, and I'm sure it's coming, and I apologize if I've not covered every point, but I love you..and I truly…desperately…appreciate every moment you take to waste on reviews for me…it…brightens my life in ways I can't possibly express. Thank you.
MissyMagenta, Thank you! I'm glad my sparring is good, as I do it quite frequently (I'm trained in bo staff, compound bow, sais, short swords, kali sticks, and melee (((hand to hand CQC ))) so I hope my writing reflects that enough. I'm glad you enjoy those scenes, and yes, Lila certainly deserved that bit of beat down!
Nymphadora, I haven't revealed if he had one still/actively yet, but it will come up, I promise. Lol, and yes, I DO see what you did there *winks* you're far funnier than I, so perhaps you can do the jokes for my next story?