Instinct : 2

"Newton!" Moms shrill voice rings out. I jumped to my feet as the bedroom door flew open. She's standing there with wide, scared eyes, her tousled blonde hair falling out of its neat ponytail. In her thin hands is a blood stained hand towel. The one from the bathroom.

The ambulance and firetruck are still screaming. Her eyes roam over my disheveled, blood stained form until finally settling on my tail.

"What happened?"

"It was an accident…" I barely get out. My voice is choked and shaky and I can't make eye contact with her.

"Oh my god…" She shudders and runs from the room. She's already in the master bedroom and pulling a large suitcase out from under the bed.

I can't move. My feet are rooted into the carpet as I watch mom stuffing clothes and her laptop into the suitcase. Are we leaving? Are we coming back?

"Where are we going?" I ask and she drops the pair of pants she's holding. She runs back into my room and opens the closet. Pulling a suitcase from the top shelf down, she begins cramming pairs of pants and shirts from my chest of drawers into it.

David will have to take work off tomorrow. We can stay in a hotel tonight-

"A hotel? Why can't we stay here?" My voice cracks. Mom looks back at me with a stern look on her face.

"I've told you not to do that. It's not polite." She stands and drags the packed suitcase as she goes, planting it by the door. "Stay here, don't move." She leaves the room. I stare at the beige carpet and the pink stains leading out into the living room. She's calling Dad now, and I can hear his panicked voice on the other end.

"What do you mean something's happened? What's going on?"

"I don't know, but Newt is covered in blood and there's an ambulance in the park. We'll be at the Motel 6 on 8th street." Mom says quickly. She zips up her suitcase and starts packing a third one, this time throwing Dads jeans inside. She holds her phone between her ear and shoulder as she works.

"Blood? Did he cut himself?"

"No, it's on his tail. It's too much to be his own."

"Oh, god, Amy… Did he get outside?"

"Not now, David, we're leaving. I'll talk to you later tonight." Mom hangs up the phone and tosses it onto the bed. My arms and legs are beginning to shake and tears are burning the back of my eyes. Mom drags the two suitcases out of the bedroom and leans them against the wall.

"Mom?" I squeak as she runs into the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"Grab your tail lock." She takes the car keys off the hook on the cabinet. I look over at the windowsill. The metal cover gleams in the sunlight. Police sirens are now mixing into the chaos. "Newt, let's go!"

Mom drags her two suitcases towards the front door then runs back to grab mine. I stick close to her side as we move everything out onto the balcony. Then she turns and kneels down in front of me, her hands gently taking my shoulders.

"Stay here while I take these out to the car, I'll come back for you." She says. I nod, my throat closed up with held back tears. Mom quickly stands and calmly walks away with my suitcase carefully balanced on top of hers and Dads. I duck back into the apartment and close the door.

Lizzy? Lizzy, something's happened. I squeeze my eyes shut tight and try to push the message out to her. She isn't very far away, maybe a few miles, but I need to make sure she's ready. It only takes her a couple seconds to respond.

Newt, are you okay? What's wrong?

I…hurt someone.

Hurt someone? Her voice is small and scared in my mind. I open my eyes and take a few steadying breaths. I was supposed to be the big brother, the one looking out for her. But her big brother had cracked, had let his loneliness and desperation get the better of him, had killed someone… I sat down on the couch and pulled my knees up to my chest to hug them.

Newt?

Mom packed a bunch of stuff. We're going to a hotel. My heart is racing. We'd only been in this apartment for a year. Dad had worked really hard to get it. Mom needed it. And now we were leaving. What would dad say? What would he do?

Mom was coming back. Her brisk steps vibrated the balcony outside as she approached the door. I stood just as she opened it.

"Come on, sweetheart." She held out her hand and I ran to her, taking it quickly.

Outside, the sirens of the ambulance and police cars pierced the air. Mom wrapped a large gray hoodie around my shoulders. It covered my wings and I pulled my tail up into the fabric to hide it. As we hurry down the stairwell I can see most of the chaos happening across the open field.

The ambulance had parked on the field right where Colin had fallen. A large group of people stood around it, all talking at once and frantic. Several police cars parked on the street and the officers were pulling people off to the side to question them. I could see both Hadrian and Jesse with their parents. Hadrian was sobbing, his little brother's blood soaking the front of his shirt and staining his hands. He was still holding the two white feathers, now pink with blood. Jesse was hysterically pointing back at the apartment complex.

"Did you tell your sister we're coming to get her?" Mom asked as she pulled me towards the car, directing me with her hands on my shoulders. I nodded absentmindedly. Jesse had seen me run back to the complex and Hadrian had my feathers. The police would know it was a hybrid attack. They would try to find us. We could never come back.

Mom opened the car door and pushed me into the back seat.

"Dad is going to meet us there later tonight." She said as she got behind the wheel and glanced up at me through the rear view mirror. Dark circles under her eyes and tight lines around her mouth; she hadn't slept very well last night again.

We sat in silence as she got the car out of the parking lot and out onto the main road. I stared down at the floor mats.

"Newton, what happened?" Mom asked softly. I didn't say anything. "Honey, please, talk to me." I ran my fingers down the broad feathers of my tail, the sharp spikes hidden just underneath.

"I just wanted to play with them." I look up at her finally. She's watching the road with sad, tired eyes.

"You know why you can't do that, honey."

"Lizzy gets to have friends!"

"Lizzy doesn't have wings or a tail-"

"I can hide them!" I try to push my tail into my pants but the stiff spikes won't allow it. It's not comfortable either. Even though it's articulated and flexible, no amount of bending will hide all 4 feet of it. I gave up and tossed it aside on the seat.

"So you snuck outside and tried to play with some kids?"

I looked out the window at the passing cars on the road. Everyone looked so normal. No wings, no tails, no claws on the hands that gripped their steering wheels. Why was I different? Why was I so strange? I look down at my hands clasped in my lap.

"Yeah… But they were mean."

"Mean?"

"They took some of my feathers. One boy wanted some too, but I told him 'no' and he chased me," I paused to take a shaky breath as tears began running down my cheeks. "He knocked me down…and…" I glanced over at my tail again. Mom followed my gaze through the mirror.

The car bumped up into the driveway of Lizzy's friend's house. Lizzy was already waiting outside for us and she ran to the car as soon as it stopped. She got into the backseat next to me. Her friend, a short redhead with freckles, was standing in the door waving, but we were already backing out. Lizzy looked me up and down, her eyes growing wide.

Is that blood? She stared at me. I held her gaze.

"We're going to be staying at the Motel 6 for a few nights, Lizzy." Mom said, eyeing us carefully.

"For how long?" Lizzy shifted her gaze to mom.

"Just for a few nights."

Dad's going to kill me. Lizzy looked back to me. She's wearing makeup. Her cheeks are rosy and blue, sparkly eyeliner makes her dark eyes seem larger than they really are.

What did you do?

I killed a boy. I look away from her and wipe a tear away as it falls. My chest feels hot with pent up anxiety.

Just tell dad the truth. He'll only be mad for a little while. Lizzy gently took my hand.

I've never messed up this badly before, Lizzy.

It'll be okay.

By the time we get to the hotel, the sun is setting. The temperature is dropping along with it. The inside of the hotel brings immediate relief as we drag our suitcases to our newly booked room.

"Just leave yours next to the bathroom door." Mom said as she lifted hers and dads onto the bed and opened it. Lizzy jumped onto the bed and hopped up and down on the springy surface a few times.

"Can I have this bed?" She squeaked with a huge grin on her face.

"You and Newt are going to have to share it. Dad and I are taking this one." Mom walked to the bathroom and gestured for me to follow. I did, keeping my eyes on the floor. She reached out and placed a hand on my back to direct me into the small room, then shut the door behind us.

It was a tiny bathroom. The shower was tucked into the corner and the toilet and sink were right next to it with only a few feet in between.

"We need to clean you up some." She sighed and set down the few clothes she had brought with her on the sink. A blue T-shirt and gray sweatpants.

"I didn't do it on purpose." I said to the floor. The crisp, white tiles reflect the overhead light so strongly it hurts. Mom slowly knelt down in front of me but I kept my eyes on the floor.

"I know, sweetheart." Her voice is barely more than a whisper. "When something scary happens, we often act on instinct."

"Instinct?"

"It's something you do without thinking about it. Like when you hold your breath underwater, or smiling when you're happy." She gently ran her fingers through my hair, pulling it out of my eyes.

"Dad's going to be mad…" I couldn't keep my voice from wavering. Mom was quiet for a few moments and I chance a look up at her. Her eyes were red like she was about to cry. Blinking a few times, she continued playing with my hair, sweeping it to the side as she thought.

"He will be." She finally spoke, sighing. I looked back down at the floor, fresh fear filling my chest. "Even if it wasn't your fault," She took a deep breath. "Hurting that boy is pretty serious. We need to talk about a few things."

I'm sorry. I can't say it out loud, but I push the feeling towards her. She blinks in surprise and then wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. I hug my arms around her neck, burying my face in her sweet smelling hair. She rubs my back gently, up and down between my shoulder blades. And then I'm crying, sobbing into her. My breath hitches and chokes and I can't control it. She doesn't say anything, just holds me and rubs my back.

After a few minutes my crying finally slows into hiccupping gasps. Mom moved back and set her hands on my shoulders, looking into my eyes with a gentle smile.

"Take a shower, as long as you like. It'll help you feel better."