Sleeping that night was not any easier. Darien laid there, just looking up at the ceiling, then at Serena, then back to the ceiling. He tried to close his eyes to force himself to sleep, but his mind just kept going. The space between the two could easily fit another person. Why did he get such a big bed? He asked himself. It is not like she needed it. She takes little to no space, and though the length was appropriate for him, it made no sense they had such a big bed. Beds in her movies always looked smaller, and for some reason filled with so many pillows. Why did they need so many pillows?
And just like that his thoughts were back to very last movie they watched. They didn't finish it, but he remembered them giving each other a kiss goodnight before going to bed. Do people really do that? They usually just tell each other goodnight, if they ever fall asleep at the same time. Sometimes Serena would already be asleep when he gets home, or on nights when he is off early he usually charts, until it is time for bed.
He turned on his side towards Serena, propped himself with his arm and just watched her sleep. So peaceful. What is she dreaming about? Does she dream about someone sweeping her off her feet? Are you dreams just like her movies? Is she really as happy. He plopped back onto his back, causing the bed to shake.
"Huh? What happened?!" Serena's head popped up and looked around, in a daze. She finally checked on Darien, to see him laying there with his eyes wide opened. He turned her. "Darien are you okay? What happened?"
He turn his head, "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
"What time is it?" Serena arched her head up to look at the clock.
"2:28AM" it blinked.
"Have you been up this whole time?" She asked concerned.
"I just couldn't sleep." He shrugged.
"Darien, what's wrong?" Serena leaned in closer to him. "Tell me." She pleaded. "I am kind of getting worried, you were fine when you came home, and now I am not sure what the issue is?"
He just sighed.
"Darien, I am not the type to pry, and I know you have your emotions, and you deal with them your way, but I need to know what is going on? I won't be able to help you, if you don't talk to me." She explained.
Still not a word from him. She just shook her head. "Fine, just tell me when you are ready." She turned away from him, and pulled her blanket in tighter around her. "If you're ever ready." She snuggled her head into her pillow, and closed her eyes.
"Are you honestly happy?" He finally asked.
Her eyes shot open. "What are you talking about?"
"I am asking you are you honestly happy?"
She turned back to him, "Are you not?"
"Don't change this to me. It doesn't matter about me... I want to know if you are happy... with me. Like this."
She pushed herself up into a sitting position. She leaned over to turn on the light, so she could better see his face. He still looked at the ceiling. No emotion what so ever. "Why are you asking me that?"
"You still have not answered," He finally made eye contact with her.
"Of course I am happy, why wouldn't I be?" She smiled.
"I don't know," He shrugged. "Our life isn't like one those movies you love to watch so much."
"Are you serious? The movies? This why you are so moody?" Serena asked dumbfounded. "My movies, the ones you constantly claim are unrealistic?"
Darien forced himself up to a sitting position next to Serena. "I see the way you watch them. I see how you hang on to every moment. And I see how your eyes sparkle when the happily ever after comes. And I see how you sit there soaking it all in when the movie is over."
"They are good movies." Serena disputed.
"But is that the life you want?" Darien asked.
"Darien, I know those movies are not real."
"But you said yourself, a little part of you believes, they came from somewhere." Darien interrupted her.
She nodded. "Yes, I did. I did say that."
"Would you rather have that?"
"Darien, I am not sure how to answer that question." Serena answered, not sure what where the conversation was going.
"The first movie we watched, who would you have ended up with, the business man, or the guy she grew up with?"
"Are you really asking me that question? Why does that matter?"
"Because I am the guy in the suit, Serena, he and I are exactly the same person."
"I mean your work ethic, I guess is the same..."Serena looked up at the ceiling light, trying to remember the guys face.
"Yeah, and I saw how disappointed you were when he didn't show for dinner, is that you? When I don't come home?"
"Darien, I really do not understand where this is coming from, they are movies. Up until today, you used to make jokes about them."
"Up until today, I never really paid attention, and I never noticed how much you want your life to be that way."
"Darien, I am happy with my life here, with you. If I wasn't I would have left."
"You are telling me, if some guy popped up from your past, and swept you away, on a horse with roses, you wouldn't go."
"I am not even sure how I am supposed to answer that. I feel like you are wanting me to say, yes I will go some random guy from past. Leaving the boyfriend I have been with, that I moved in with, because I am not happy or something... and I am trying to understand why!" Serena ran both hands over her face.
"I don't want you to be unhappy here. And I am not sure, if I can honestly make you happy in the way your movies can." Darien finally admitted.
"I have never asked you too! Not once!" Serena yelled.
"And have you really been okay with all that?"
"I mean I would mind if you tried! Who would?!" Serena blurted.
"There it is... finally the truth comes out."Darien acknowledged.
"Get to the damn point Darien. Stop beating around the damn bush, are you saying you think we should just end this?" Serena asked pushing herself further away from him.
He didn't answer. That wasn't what he wanted at all, but he couldn't understand how she got to that conclusion. This was not how he thought this conversation was going to go. He sat there, mind going a million thoughts per second.
She just awkwardly nodded her head. "You know Darien, I knew the person you were, when we first started dating." She felt pressure build up in her throat, and she turned to look away from him. "Of course I loved those movies. Every girl dreams of a fairy tale, and would it mean so much to me if you did any of those little things for me?" She forced a smile, "But I love you, and I knew it wouldn't be fair to try and change you." She adjusted herself, to hang her legs off the side of the bed. "I would have never ask you to be someone you aren't." She stood up. Walked to her robe.
"Where are you going?" Darien asked half confused, half concerned because he knew what was about to happen.
"Darien, if you wanted out, using my movies..." She scoffed. "Low, and beyond stupid."
He jumped off the bed. "What are you talking about? Where are you going?" He asked as he saw her go into the closet.
"It doesn't matter where I go," She shouted back.
He could head hangers shifting, and zipper opening.
"Serena, it is almost 3AM, where are you going to go?" Darien shouted from outside the closet.
"I really don't care Darien..." The closet door swung open and Serena was fully dressed with a duffle bag. "I will get my things within the next couple of days. I will make sure you aren't here." She forcefully exited the closet to get Darien out of the way.
"Serena" He grabbed her arm, stopping her. "Please don't leave. It is late."
"So wait until the morning?" She rolled her eyes, "Pass, I would rather go now." She yanked her arm away from him.
She quickly walked down the hallway, as Darien chased her.
"Serena, please don't go!" Darien called.
"Why Darien? You obviously want this...why I am not sure but whatever, I don't care. I am not going to beg someone to be with me." She slipped on one of her boots.
"I didn't say that!"
"You didn't have to. I can connect the dots. You can see what I want, but you're not able to give it to me. Even though I never asked, so maybe it is best we split. So it looks like you made the sacrifice of letting me go, so I can be happy." She looked him straight in his eyes. "Did I get that all correct?"
"Not even close!" Darien yelled.
"Whatever you say Darien..." She put her hood on, grabbed her purse and keys. She opened the front door. "Just know, this was all you, not me."
And she was out, with the slam of the door.
Frustrated, Darien slammed his fist into the door, leaving a dent.