Chapter Forty-Two: Too Much Guilt

Luka slumped a little more, lowering his head, pulling his knees up a bit where he sat on the floor. The strength and confidence seemed to dissipate completely from the musician, and he swallowed loud enough for Marinette to hear.

"You've really not been sleeping with me?" His voice sounded small, broken, and it made her heart contract. Luka really thought…they'd been dating.

"N-No," she replied hoarsely. "I allowed you in th-the dressing room and th-the other night when y-you bit…" She couldn't even finish, and she watched him visibly recoil.

"I'm…I…" He pulled the Miraculous from his wrist, holding it out towards Chat, who hadn't left his side. "Here, take it," he said dejectedly without looking up.

The blonde took it deftly, pocketing the item, and frowned. "I don't get it, Luka. You seem genuinely upset, remorseful even, so if that's the case, why would you attack Mari after she begged you to stop? Why keep going when she said no?"

He took a deep breath, letting it out in a shuddering exhale. "Because that's what…she likes…whoever she is," he whispered. "Or, that's part of some of the things we'd do together. We have a safe word," he grunted, hugging himself. "Sometimes she's in control, sometimes I am, but she likes the rape fantasy," he sniffled, hiding his face by looking even further down. "May I excuse myself, please? Just to the bathroom, i-if you need me to stay…"

Chat sighed, rubbing the back of his head before pinching his nose. "Go on then," he growled, gesturing to the windowless room. The three of them watched him stumble to the bathroom in silence, closing the door.

Marinette heard his first sob, and she cringed, her chest aching. Whoever had done this hadn't just made her a victim, she'd made Luka a victim too. "It isn't fair," she whispered, voice breaking. "I m-mean, I still can't go near him, and it i-isn't…all his fault," she pointed out. "Honestly, it could have just as easily been you, Chat," she whispered eyes wide.

He stiffened, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"I just mean, we…do some pretty intense stuff together, and if I had told you that I liked to do that kind of stuff…and had convinced you, and we had a safe word…" She shook her head shrugging. "I'm with you Chat, but Luka thought he was with me too, sharing me with you, and he knew I liked it a little rough…I have the bites…it wasn't really that far-fetched for him to believe I might be into something kinky like…play-rape..I mean, I'm not, but still," she whimpered, hugging herself. "That's why they have safe words, right? Because no is a part of the fantasy?"

He stared at the ceiling, his jaw clenching and unclenching repeatedly, but he nodded. Chloe was the one who responded though. "That's sick," she snapped. "You're trying to justify him assaulting you!"

The bluenette shook her head. "I-I'm…just saying, he…" She put her palms up, tears sliding down her face. "It's not fair to anyone, honestly. Whoever she is, she deserves a painful death," she breathed, surprising herself.

"Lila," Chloe said firmly, nodding. "Since Luka never knew about this so called plan to keep you two apart, and she's trying to mess your life up, maybe it's Lila's way of ruining you to get Adrien."

"That's a lot of work to go through for one guy," he commented, frowning.

Mari chuckled weakly. "Girls do…crazy things," she squeaked, clearing her throat. "B-But, how is she imitating me? That's the question…and…then…who is she sleeping with to make Mayura lose her cool?"

She grimaced as the violent retching sound emanated from the bathroom, and even Chloe's face softened. "Okay, I feel a little bad for him," she hissed.

Chat's tail flicked, ears flattening in his golden mane, and he gazed pointedly at the wall. Marinette could tell he was trying to hold onto his anger, but part of him understood Luka was a pawn just like the rest of them. Some things weren't going to be forgiven, but he wasn't at DEFCON One any longer. He'd mellowed to a high…two…possible three.

"He wasssn't lying," Sass finally chimed, floating over from the bed. Tikki accompanied the snake kwami, patting his shoulder. "I had ssssome reservationsss about the activitiesss the two loversss partook in, but it wasss the woman and him," the being commented. "Each time she came to visit, I wasss banished to the suitcassse."

Tikki cringed, nodding. "Sass told me that it was Marinette in form, and although something seemed off, even to him, he couldn't quite figure out why. She did enjoy Luka's company. They seemed to indulge in the rape kinks, and even…" The crimson kwami's cheeks flared, if it was possible, and Sass let out a hissing chuckle.

"Ssstrangulation, violenccce, binding, teassssing, all of it. She was not shy," he admitted.

"Luka liked that?" Chloe sounded disgusted again.

Sass hesitated, closing his eyes. "The gentleman did not want to at first, but he cared a lot for the woman, ssso he went along with her peculiar tassstes. He preferred when she would be…in charge becausssse he didn't worry about hurting her."

Marinette whimpered, swallowing. "He told me th-that, when he was…when we were in the crypt. He said he preferred when I was in control. I thought he was referring to the night I was drugged…" she admitted softly, sadly, shaking her head.

The kwami nodded as Tikki patted his overly large head. "However, she commanded that if he loved her, he would give in and do everything she wanted. That included…dominating her in every way. If he loved her…he would not hold back. That was a few nightsss before you, the real you, came to visssit."

"He tried to kill Mari!" Chloe interjected. "He ripped out her Miraculous!"

Tikki sighed. "Marinette was trying to defend her earrings, out of basic instinct, and he was merely trying to grab her arm to thwart her movements…restrain her. It was unfortunate that she wouldn't let go, and that's how her earring was ripped from her ear," she explained, swiftly looking to her owner. "N-Not that it's your fault either! He d-did grab you and attack you!"

The bluenette offered a sour smile. "No, you're right. I'm used to Hawk Moth, so I covered the Miraculous. If he was just trying to restrain me due to foreplay, then you're right, tearing up my earlobe was…accidental."

"What about him trying to grab Tikki?" Chat asked, frowning. "You said he swiped for you before you made a retreat.

"I'm her kwami," she murmured. "He mentioned to Sass that he wanted to be sure I didn't get misplaced. That he had wanted to make sure I came along…so she didn't feel alone," she said sadly. "He didn't want her to wake up alone and afraid in an unfamiliar space, just in case, since their relationship was new." Her whimpers and tears dominated the air. "He w-was…thinking of her."

Chloe laughed. It was short, and bitter, and she covered her face. "The man I love is true, but he's also a lie. He never existed. He…d-didn't ever look at me." Marinette flinched, surging forward to hug the blonde, but she was just as quick to lash out, smacking her arms away. "N-no! I d-don't….don't want your sympathy," she said sternly, looking away.

"Chloe?"

"No, I'm fine, I just…don't want your sympathy," she repeated, backing away. Chat took a step forward, and the blonde gave him an unwavering look, making him back down. "Nobody needs to offer me sympathy."

Marinette sighed, dropping her arms, sniffling. "We care about you," she murmured.

The blonde scoffed, shaking her head. "I know, believe me, and that's great, but…this.." she waved her arms frantically. "This is a pile of shit I didn't expect," she admitted, spinning away to walk towards the windows.

Her shattered bluebell orbs followed the woman, and she fell forwards weakly, Chat's strong arms catching her as they slid to their knees. "May I hold you, Princess?" His voice was soft, unsure, and she sobbed, nodding.

"Forever, please. Never let go," she wheezed, and he gathered her into his chest, squeezing her tight. She could barely breathe through all the heartache and pain and the strength of his arms, and when the next breath finally came, it was loud, and disgusting, wavering as she cried.

"I have you, my beautiful woman," he assured. "I'm never going to let go, if that is what you wish," he promised, and gathered her up in his arms as he stood, cradling her like a delicate bride.

She flung her arms around his neck, burying her damp face against his broad chest, letting out the shriek that was bubbling up in her chest. She didn't care who heard or how wretched it sounded, she released it from her burning throat.

The agony tapered into uncontrollable sobs, her body trembling, and he merely held her tighter, if such a thing were remotely possible. Something snaked over her hip, caressing lightly, holding tentatively, and it vibrated, giving her the clue that it was his tail, and she chuckled, weakly, through her sorrow.

"Cry as much as you need," he offered. "I won't go anywhere."

She snorted, whimpering. "You're always too good to me, Chaton. I mean," she laughed, pulling her head from his chest to look up into his vibrant cat eyes. "All those years…I rebuffed you, God, because…because I was worried about impressing some…stupid super model! I was…so cruel to you sometimes," she admitted, fresh crystalline heartache filling her cheeks.

His Chat grin was no less charismatic than the day they'd met, and it stuttered her heart in her chest. "I'll have you know, that stupid super model is madly in love with you," he teased softly, his tail slithering up to wipe at her face as he rocked her in his arms. The rough leather made her shiver, and she bit her lip, sniffling. "I may have hurt sometimes waiting for you, my Lady, my Love…but…it was worth it in the end," he breathed. Chat put his forehead to hers, his words such a low whisper she almost didn't hear. "I promise it was worth every heartache."

She released another sob, lips capturing his, and he returned the gesture with tender fervor. They moved together, and she couldn't see beyond the blur of her tears, but she clung to him, knowing, this was the man she would spend eternity with. She was never letting him go.

She used one hand to delve upwards into his golden mane, and he groaned, chasing her tongue into her mouth, applying gentle pressure as she gasped softly, parting her soft lips to allow him unlimited entrance to her confines.

He shifted, and Chat was sitting on the edge of the bed, but there was…really…nothing sexual about how she felt..or…how they kissed now. No warmth or lust burst through her belly. She wanted him, of course, but this…was so different than…any other time she'd kissed him. She just…needed him. Needed him like he was the sun to her existence, and nothing else was going to help her keep moving.

Marinette moved to straddle his lap to get better access, and she rose gradually above him so he had to tilt his head backwards to keep up with her tenderly feeding lips. It was slow, it was intense, and she couldn't quite put a name to the burning feeling inside of her heart and soul.

This was the man she loved. She would stand by his side, forever, and die by his side just as quickly. "Adrien," she moaned softly, not daring to put space between their skin as her second hand joined in the tangle of his hair.

He own hands met at the small of her back, kneading, repeatedly as a purr began vibrating deep in his chest, and he echoed her name with equal worship without parting from their passionate embrace.

"Will you two get a room?"

Marinette was too consumed to give the phrase too much heed, and Chat seemed content to ignore Chloe too, his tail wrapping around her middle, holding her against him as their tongues danced in languid desire and love.

When she finally peeled her swollen mouth from him, it was only by a breath, and she panted gently, her exales falling against his quivering lips, not bearing to put more distance than that between them.

"I love you," she whimpered, sobbing softly.

"Not more than I love you," he countered, trapping her lips again, and the kiss started anew, entangling them in a web of love she didn't want to be disentangled from.

She…would never grow tired of this man. He was hers. She was his. God…if his embrace was the cure for her ailment, she would stay wrapped up in his arms for eternity. Nothing could drag her free. She moaned, softly, appreciatively against him, nails curling into his scalp, and he shivered, hands sliding up to press into the space between her shoulder blades.

His tongue slid along her lower lip, but before she could react to the movement, he jerked free, his cat green eyes flying wide. His ears flattened immediately, and he shifted her off his lap. "S-Sorry," he growled, moving briskly to the bathroom, slamming a fist repeatedly against the door. "Luka?"

She blinked, dazed, confused, but Chat's worried look had her moving up beside him. A grunting noise from within the bathroom made his eyes widen more, and the feline stepped back, throwing his shoulder into the barrier. It popped open with ease, given his incredible strength, and Mari gasped.

Luka convulsed violently on the floor, and the hero slid over quickly, dragging the man onto his lap, endeavoring to quell his movements. Chat turned him just as a frothy ooze spilled from the blue haired man's lips.

The bluenette froze, terror gripping her body as she watched the musician seize uncontrollably. "Mari," Chat growled. "MARI!"

She shook her head, looking at him through wide, disbelieving eyes, and he nodded at two empty prescription bottles on the floor. She snatched them up with trembling fingers, trying desperately to make sense of the letters, but her brain wasn't processing correctly. Her heart was too loud in her ears, and her breathing was panicked.

Chloe gasped from miles behind her. "Th-those are mine!"

"What was in them," he groaned, trying to push the strong man fully onto his side, but the violence of his seizure looked like it was taking Chat quite a bit of effort. "Mari, call an ambulance!"

"Uh…I…" Chloe fumbled as the bluenette stumbled by her. "Antidepressants and s-sleeping pills," she screeched. "There might have been an ecstasy t-tablet or two left," she sobbed.

God, was Luka going to die from the weight of his guilt? Had he…had he taken all those pills on purpose? Was…was he…was this her fault? She snatched her phone and dialed 112, fingers quaking so badly she almost dropped the electronic device. It rang as she rushed back to the bathroom and the woman who answered did so in Italian and she froze again before pressing the phone to Chat's ear, moving deftly behind him to avoid the flailing limbs of the slowly calming musician.

"Overdose di droga," the feline grunted, nodding before plowing into a rapid fire Italian she couldn't begin to understand. He sighed shaking his head. "Grazie." He raised his brows at her. "You c-can hang up now."

She put her phone in her pocket after hitting the button, and groaned. "W-What do I do?"

"Pray," he whispered.

***POV Change***

Adrien hugged the quivering bluenette to his chest, kissing the crown of her head as they stared at Luka's still form in the hospital bed. He was unconscious. His brain activity was 'promising' according to the doctors, but they weren't entirely sure what that actually meant.

"W-We should get the bracelet back to g-grandfather," Marinette croaked, whimpering, and he held her tighter.

"That's true," he admitted. "However, I think he can wait as long as we keep it safe. I'll guard it with my life," he whispered.

"D-don't say that," she jolted, turning to face him with a look of panic that stole his breath. She slammed her fist into his chest, and where it would normally ache, he barely felt it. "Don't say that!"

Adrien commandeered her hand, guiding it to his lips to place soft kisses along her knuckles before he nodded. "I understand your hesitation, m'lady, m'love…my Mari, but, I promise you, I don't plan on leaving your side any time soon." He procured a tiny object from his pocket, and gradually opened his palm. "For the rightful owner," he said.

Her bluebell orbs widened, trembling digits plucking the single Miraculous from his hand, holding it up. "M-My earlobe is still healing," she whispered. "I d-don't know how I'm going to wear it."

He tilted his head a little and nodded. "Tikki and I had a very brief discussion about it. Either you can live with a clip-on until you're healed, which, I don't really recommend because I'd be wary about them falling off, or," he caressed the skin of her delicate jaw up to her ears. "We force them both through your upper ears to make them match. We couldn't have you wondering around with one in a lobe and one in your cartilage. It would...be a red flag, unfortunately." He sighed. "The choice is always yours, but I'm here to help in any way that I can. Your ear should heal fine, eventually, though," he added hesitantly.

Mari stared up at him, her blue eyes calm, loving, and she smiled, holding up the first earring. "Better use that super strength and make the piercing quick," she teased. "If not, I'm going to kick your butt, Chaton," she murmured. He grinned, kissing her forehead.

Author Note:

LuckyMiltank, I'm very glad that you enjoyed my…pretzel twist? Unfortunately this chapter was a downer. We're getting to the resolution soon! Thank you, very much, for the kind words.

Emjrabbitwolf, yes, what he did was sexual assault…not…rape….but after his chapter, is the line so black and white? Whomever orchestrated this mess has a lot to answer for.

Faefolk11, I'm glad you're still with me, you're one of my more loyal followers, and without your name, I feel a little hesitant and lost sometimes, honestly. Lila HAS been….a little…evasive :P

Calerose, soooo many victims : ( including…poor Luka, in my own opinion. The female responsible…WILL get what is coming to her! I promise ;) thank you…very…very much for your continued encouragement. You're a kind name at the end of a blistering storm, ushering me to a safe shore, truly. Thanks.