Trying to commit suicide does not MAKE you a weak person, or does not mean you have weak character, but you SHOULD try other alternatives to this option, please, if you feel you're leading up this particular course, talk to someone, seek help or advice. Find a friend. Taking your life does damage beyond just…yourself. Even if you think nobody will miss you…you WILL BE WRONG…every step of the way. At least…one person…would be crushed by your absence. At LEAST one person..will be destroyed by your death. So, please, think it through. Thanks. Hope you enjoy.
Chapter Forty-Three: Feeling Isn't Inappropriate
Mari's entire body was stiff as she shifted, and she heard several pops from her spine and neck before she opened her eyes completely. She'd curled up in a recliner in the hospital room...no, she'd curled up on Adrien's lap, in a recliner, in a hospital room, and fallen asleep.
"You okay?" His voice was clear despite the fact his eyes were still closed, and she frowned.
"When did you fall asleep?"
"I didn't," he said honestly, opening his exhausted emerald orbs. "Chloe was sobbing most of the night, and I couldn't bear to leave her alone in that state," he said gently, nodding his head at the bed.
Marinette shifted her attention, and sure enough, there was a chair pressed against the side, and Chloe was passed out over Luka's hip.
"She's asleep now," she pointed out gingerly.
"Only for about twenty minutes or so," he replied shifting, and she heard the soft groan.
"O-Oh! You must be sore!" She hopped down quickly, and he chuckled.
"I'd say no, but yeah, I have to stretch, thanks. I wasn't going to wake you, but now that you are up," he commented, moving to his feet.
"S-sorry," she whispered, but he shook his head.
Adrien closed his eyes, putting both his hands into the air and stretched his body out as far as he could, and she watched all of his muscles strain. His arms trembled a little before he relaxed them down and rotated his shoulders and neck gradually. Marinette licked her lips, she couldn't help it. He was…gorgeous, and even with everything going on…and everything that had happened, she felt her stomach tighten.
"G-Geez, Mari," he breathed as his orbs opened again, and her cheeks flushed brightly.
She threw her gaze down. "S-Sorry!" She sniffled, turning away, covering her face. She was awful.
He pulled her around and into his chest, startling her. "I just wasn't expecting it," he admitted, sighing. "I w…w-wasn't trying to make you feel bad," he croaked. "I'm sorry."
"It's f-fine," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck, resting her cheek against his shoulder. She stared at Chloe's deflated form, limp, curled over Luka's side, and sighed. "It was inappropriate."
"Having feelings isn't inappropriate."
She made a sound in her throat. "I think this time, it would border on wrong. I mean, looking at you, thinking about sex when just last night I was…assaulted, and Luka is feet away, possibly irreparably injured from the guilt of it…I think there's a line somewhere to be made," she muttered.
He stiffened, growling. "I meant it's okay to have your feelings, Mari, it's not like we're fornicating on the floor next to his bed," he whispered, and she felt her cheeks burn. "You're still human, and you're allowed to feel whatever it is your body, mind, and heart conjure without guilt. It doesn't mean you should act on it if the situation, is yes, inappropriate. I could never stop wanting you, no matter the circumstances, I'm sure, doesn't mean I should ravish you if it's an unsuitable moment to do so."
"Like at a funeral?" She offered, trying to be playful, but she winced.
"It depends whose funeral," he said almost seriously, which brought her attention up suddenly. He chuckled. "I mean, if we're talking Hawk Moth's?" He pulled her hips gently against his to let her feel that he was hard, which made her swallow. "I'm having you in every position I'm allowed," he teased, and she felt her ears burning.
She gave his chest a poke. "Silly, man," she giggled, feeling some of the metaphysical weight shift off her body.
The blonde kissed her forehead. "There's a pretty smile," he murmured. "I was hoping for one."
She grinned wider and shook her head. "I love you," she said easily, relaxing into him.
His arms tightened, and he returned the smile with one of his own, making her chest feel warm with some semblance of happiness, albeit, as small as it currently was. "I love you too, more than the world."
Someone cleared their throat, and Marinette jumped away from the blonde like she'd been stung. "S-Sorry," Gustave offered, hesitantly.
"It's fine," Adrien replied just as smoothly, moving to give the fellow model a hug. "You have nothing to be sorry for," he said adamantly. "In fact, you deserve much more than that for all the help you've given over the last few days," the blonde murmured, and to Mari's slight surprise, he pressed a soft, chaste, kiss to the man's lips.
A bright cascading crimson burst over Gustave's handsome face as Adrien pulled free, and he stuttered, making the bluenette smile. She understood his conundrum. Adrien was a force that defied logic and robbed people of their senses.
"I-I-I w-was glad help to for your Adrien," he grumbled. She couldn't help it. She let out a giggle, and Gustave flushed brighter, if that were possible. "I m-mean—!"
She rushed forward, enveloping him in her arms, and continued laughing. "It's okay, we both understand, and we both appreciate your help. You've been amazing, truly!"
He hugged her back, and cleared his throat. "I c-came to check on Luka."
She nodded, her body immediately stilling with the solemn implications. "Of course, how rude of me," she muttered, pulling free, but he grabbed her again, tugging her close. He trapped her against him, and it took several moments to beat back the panic that demanded he was in some way trying to harm her.
"I'm s-sorry," he rushed out. "I'm h-happy to see you too!"
She snorted, shaking her head. "I'm not upset you didn't want to s-see me," she croaked. "It's f-fine," she whimpered, trying to pull free.
He must have sensed her apprehension because he released her, and she scrambled, reaching out desperately, blindingly, for Adrien while keeping her wide eyes on Gustave. His strong arms ensnared her from behind, holding her protectively, gently against him, and she shivered, relaxing.
"Something else has happened," Gustave said firmly, his eyes flicking from her face, to the blonde's over her shoulder.
"Nothing you need to concern yourself with," her boyfriend said firmly. "Try to be careful not to wake Chloe, she just fell asleep," he warned.
Gustave opened his mouth like he wanted to argue, but closed it just as quickly and nodded. "Thank you," he muttered, looking at each of them. "Both of you," he said firmly before turning towards the bed.
Marinette whirled towards her shield, clutching his shirt violently, trembling as her thinly gathered confidence crumbled in his safe arms. "I love you," she whispered, desperate. Only he felt safe now. She knew, now, that in his arms, she'd never question anything, but …other than that, the world was shifting, wavering…unsure and scary, and it hurt.
"I love you," he replied as strongly, trapping her tight to his body…but it was okay…because this was her lover. This was her shield. This was the man who had always sacrificed his life to save her. There was no amount of trauma that would change that fact, and for several moments, she was almost glad…he had gone through…so much to prove himself…because…right now…her lack of doubt, was the only strength keeping her fractured mind and soul together.
"I love you," she whimpered again, trying to disappear into his chest, pushing against him.
***POV Change***
Chloe refused to leave Luka's side. They might not have been lovers, or even…friends at this point, but she still cared about the musician. Adrien's heart splintered for his blonde friend, but he couldn't dictate how she spent her time grieving.
Marinette was asleep, poised curiously in the recliner off to the side. Her face was pressed awkwardly into one of the arms, both legs sprawled over the other one. Her own hands were curled haphazardly against her chest, and a spot of drool trickled down her chin. He smiled, his lips twitching with affection.
The bluenette would never believe him, but he loved her when she was sloppy and less than perfect. He didn't like the perfect picture and poised model idealisms. Marinette was…beautiful, just the way she always was. Drool, stammering (or not), sparkling compassion, and all.
Adrien kept his back carefully close to one of the back corners of the chamber. He wanted to stay curled around his lover, but the animal inside demanded he take more precautionary measures, so he stayed crouched, eyes listing closed gradually in the back portion of the room.
"Adrien," Plagg whispered softly, nudging his cheek.
His emerald orbs snapped open violently, and the kwami cringed. "It's time to get a nap in, kitten. I'll alert you if anything needs your attention."
"I can't," he grunted softly, rubbing his eyes with a thumb and forefinger. "What if someone comes to attack Mari, Chloe, and Luka? What if I'm not awake for it?"
The onyx being made a strangled sound, shaking his oversized head. "It'll be fine if you rest your eyes, just for an hour or two, Adrien," Plagg whispered. "If you keep it up, you'll pass out on your own and won't wake up even if they're being murdered under your nose. Do you want that?"
The blonde made a disgusted noise, staring at the ivory floor. He swallowed thickly, shaking his head. "N-No," he admitted.
"My fighting skills are pretty paw-some too," the kwami teased, pulling a smile from Adrien. "So, I'll guard for awhile, and you sleep." Adrien hesitated, and the ancient gave his cheek a sharp swat. "It's an order. I promise I'll wake you, kid," he hissed. "You've been up for more than thirty-six hours now."
His friend nestled against the side of his neck and started purring, the soothing waves making it hard for him to keep his eyes open. "Okay," he grumbled. "Just an hour, Plagg," he muttered, his head lulling back against the wall as he shifted onto his butt.
"Yeah…"
***More than an hour later***
Something was shrill beyond the realm of his sleep. It tugged persistently at this mind, and Adrien swam upwards, breaking the veil of sleep.
His emerald orbs shot open, and he gasped, dragging in a groaning breath of air when he realized just how sore his body felt. After all, he was sitting on a hard floor in a corner, unnoticed by the squabbling group of people that had brokered his unconscious attention.
The first thing garnering his attention were three pairs of legs near the door. He could spy them from his position from behind the bead, but some of the medical equipment kept his body shielded, which is why he'd chosen the corner to guard the room.
"You have some set of fuckin' balls if you're coming here," Chloe's voice spewed scathingly. A foot stomped in tandem with the words, but Adrien already recognized the tastefully torn Jeans the blonde had been wearing.
"Ch-Chloe, calm down," Marinette pleaded softly.
"Oh, ever the negotiator," Lila cooed, cooling his overall blood temperature several fractions with the possibility that this was the woman responsibility for all of their hardships. "Nobody needs your archaic sense of justice and calm, Marinette, so do us all a great favor and vanish, hm?"
"How're the ribs, Lila?" Marinette's voice was calm and innocent, but Adrien couldn't help the chuckle that released from his lips as the brunette snarled in anger at the sharp calculated barb.
"They'll heal!"
"Better than your ego, I bet," she snapped back as easily, and he felt the tension rising, so he pushed himself up to his feet using the wall at his back, startling the Italian with his sudden appearance from behind the head of Luka's hospital bed.
"A-Adrien!"
Chloe was grinning. "Bet you wish you were nicer for the audience now, huh?"
"You didn't tell me he was here!"
"Why would we need to," Chloe shot back.
"Where else would I be, if the two ladies I care about most in the world are here," he answered just as smoothly, rounding the bed towards Mari, pressing a kiss to her head. "I love you," he muttered softly. "I'm sorry I fell asleep."
"I love you." She snorted, shaking her head. "You needed it, plus, we're all human, right?"
He blushed, nodding, but he was still mad at Plagg for letting him sleep…he glanced at the clock on the wall. Seven hours!?
Chloe scoffed. "Lila, you can drag your sorry ass out of here!"
"I second it," Marinette muttered, and Adrien smiled, brushing fingers absentmindedly through the blue tresses of her tangled hair. She was disheveled, and dark circles graced the underside of her normally bright orbs, but she was still…so…breathtaking.
"Well, doesn't matter what you guys want," Lila chuckled. "I can be here if I care to be."
Unfortunately, that was true. They couldn't stop the Italian beauty from visiting the man, and he watched with wary eyes as she pursed her lips, tapping slender fingers thoughtfully against the lush surface of her mouth.
"I can't believe he'd do this," the woman murmured softly, and the Adrien saw her mouth twitching. Was she amused? She shifted purposely towards the blonde woman, a dark smirk dominating her normally beautiful features. "I didn't think he was so weak."
Chloe was quicker than he anticipated, but then again, Adrien's blood froze with Lila's words just for a few fractions before anger seethed his veins, but the mayor's daughter had the Italian on the floor already. Both women were kicking and hissing.
Something akin to an angry buzzing sound filled his ears, and he shifted closer to shove them apart, but in their violent fit, a foot caught him in the shin, knocking him off balance.
"What is going on with this group of models!?" Gabriel's surprised and furious voice slashed through the air like a tangible force, staggering every person backwards forcefully.
Even Adrien put a hand to his chest, trying to garner a breath of air, grimacing, just to be sure he hadn't been physically struck along with the uttered words. Power surged behind the verbal statement, lending authority to his voice, stilling the souls in the tiny chamber.
"Every time I turn about someone is having a row," he bit out angrily. "Is that what they're teaching all of you now? Adrien?" The blue eyes fell expectantly to the blonde and he flinched under the weight of the responsibility, but he stepped forward, clearing his throat strongly
"Of course not, father," he offered calmly. "I think the grief of the situation has just…gotten to us," he groaned, shifting his eyes to the floor, biting his lip. The words strayed a little close to home, and Marinette's fingers found his, tangling safely in their comforting recourse. He wasn't lying, too much. When he lifted his gaze again, however, he found himself faltering.
Nathalie rounded the doorway, her face sallow. The lulling blue of her eyes seemed darker than usual, stained with angry pink lines in the white's of the exhausted orbs, and her lips drew a tight line. She looked…unwell. Even her dark midnight hair had lost its luster, looking dry and frail.
"Nathalie," Gabriel murmured, "I need flights home for all of the models immediately."
"Of c-course," she began coughing, and Adrien rushed to her side, gripping her bicep gently. His strong grasp seemed to be the only thing keeping her upright for several moments before she waved him with her signature clipboard. "I-I'm fine, th-thank you, Adrien," she whispered.
He pulled his brows together, glowering, but drew further from the hunched woman. Despite her insistence, he could smell the copper on her breath, it flecked into the air with each time she wheezed, alerting him to a more serious situation. Blood tainted her breath.
"You will finish your material for the autumn collection," Gabriel said pointedly, and it took the blonde a few moments to realize he meant him. "Mari," he breathed through intimate whispers, making him tense, "can visit me in my office the day following our return to discuss designs versus her modeling. I'm sure she'll want to reach a schedule to work around her…desired needs."
Nathalie let out a sound that could have been a crow, but she crumpled, and Adrien only hesitated a moment before capturing her in his arms. "Sh-She isn't well, father!"
"She will…be fine!"
The stern words echoed without malice, but at the same time, the lack of concern reverberated through his soul, staring down at the woman whose eyes had already began to flutter in and out of the conscious world.
"Nathalie," he whispered softly, pushing a stray lock of black and crimson hair from her dark speckles.
"Nothing…but…lies," she croaked, before humming softly, and going limp.
***Two days later in Paris POV Change***
"This isn't a great idea," Tikki complained, rubbing her arms nervously.
"Your complaint is lodged, noted, and filed away," Marinette bit back, shoving more clothes into her drawers. The familiar thump sounded on her rooftop, and her heart fluttered rapidly with her fear and apprehension, but Chat already allowed himself access before her lips parted.
"Claws—"
"N-Not yet!"
He stared down from the loft, tilting his head in a playfully catlike manner that made her chest warm with a feeling she couldn't quite describe before she gestured with a single hooked finger for him to come join her.
"Chaton," she breathed softly, smiling, hoping it reached her eyes. "There's something I want to do with you…" she admitted truthfully. "I've made plans, so indulge me?"
"Of course," he answered, almost automatically, and it made her heart contract painfully.
"Tikki," she groaned. "Spots on!"
The flash of pink had her transformed, and her Chat was staring in awestruck admiration once more. His claws dug instinctively into her hips, drawing her body to his, so much so, that she felt the hard press of his cock against the suddenly thin layer of her spandex. Her arousal dampened her suit immediately, and his nostrils flared, making the situation worse.
"J-Just a few minutes…p-please," she breathed, running her tongue along his lower lip. "I p-promise, it will be worth the wait…I hope."
"Are we staying or going?" His voice was thick as he asked, and it made it impossible to think, but she swallowed, hard, because this was going to be the most difficult night of her life. In some prospects, she was going to enjoy every moment devouring his mind, soul and body, but she knew..in the end, it was…going to be for one big…lie…
"Going," she whispered throatily, smirking with pleasure.
Author Notes:
My older sister passed away six years ago this previous July from a drug overdose (heroine), and I want to urge anyone who is struggling from depression/guilt to seek help or consult a friend/family member with your problems. And as a woman (myself) who was bullied most of my life and had 'other' trauma to deal with and managed to voice herself to her parents at the age of sixteen and get help (yet I still struggle to this day, honestly, it never goes away) don't…let it…sit inside of you. It's a cancer that spreads. I self-mutilated for years (attempted suicide twice but was 'saved') and…it just…*shrugs* it never gets better without help. It never fully heals, in my honest opinion, but it gets A LOT better with support…so bear that in mind. Thanks. (this is a 'fluff-ish chapter' and I'm sorry, but needed to do some stuff in life forgive me!)
Fox in the hen house, maybe? Idk, you'll have to read the rest to find out, I guess :P
Emjrabbitwolf, I'm glad you liked the bonding of slow kisses and such between the two, and yeah, the Miraculous wielders are getting a bunch of shit dumped on them. The lies, betrayal, and overall sense of trust are shaken for some…but Chloe can't stop her feelings….and that's what is going to suck the most. Whoever is behind it deserves a slow torturous demise in my opinion.
Faefolk11, I'm sure…we'll find out…eventually…*looks at notes, wincing* I'm sure I had an idea at some point :P I'm glad you're still enjoying and now that I got some crap business out of the way hopefully I can plow forward with more updates.
Calerose, I'm very glad Chat could get to him in time too. Guilt is a VERY powerful emotion…and its one, sadly, I'm very familiar with, so I can write it very well. Thank you for your ever loyal reviews. I'm glad you're still with me.
Sweetestofpeas, I'm in complete agreement, I have a gruesome death in mind…
Norikins, Thank you, I'm glad you wish me well, but truth be told, we're on the verge of possibly losing our house *shrugs* it is what it is? Lol, talent only gets so much without connections I guess. I appreciate your continued support ^_^ I love seeing you here!
Nymphadora, lol, I'm glad Luka can hop off now :P
MissyMagenta, I'm glad that it doesn't feel dumb to you because I feel failed sometimes while I'm doing this, so thank you, so much for that and I'm sorry for the delay!
Vampireprincess141, here's the next chapter o.o sorry it wasn't great, but I needed to get this out of the way…
NazaKaos, Chlodrinette is the proper spelling, yes, and I'm glad you enjoyed ^_^ I'm very very very glad you enjoyed the plot twist! Also, I'm glad I could still pull Luka out smelling…somewhat not like an asshole, lmao! Hope you enjoyed this…somewhat fluff of a chapter needed to do some stuff.