Eyes that see into Infinity
Part 1
Chapter Three
/
"Phai, Phai, Phai, Phai…" his little sister continuously pounced on the bed trying to get her older brothers attention. He was good at shutting her off until he finally removed his ear phones, flicked the stop button to his CD player and stared at her displeasing.
"What Callista, what do you want?" he pronounced annoyed but naturally enough hoping she would get the point that he wanted her out. He remembered how he always forgot to lock his door on the principle of privacy. Boys needed there private times just as much as girls do and she never got the hint. It's not like she saw him charging into her room all the time.
"Come play with me in the fields." She asked wiggling with excitement.
"Go by yourself." He proceeded to put one ear phone in blocking out some of her interference.
"I'm only nine. I'm too young according to mom."
"You're not that much younger than me. Go with one of the neighbors. You have friends don't you."
She rolled her eyes at the question and started tugging at his shoe laces. "Phai everyone on the block is your age and goes to your school. I have no friends."
Phai didn't look nor feel sympathetic and flicked his sister's hand away. Then his sister suddenly had a bright idea. "Oh! Phai you know what you could do for me? You know what? You can introduce me to some of your friends. All I know is Tolem really and he's boring."
The brunette boy frowned mischievously. The only reason why she knew Tolem is because Tolem was the only decent kid on the block who didn't have any ill feelings towards him, like Cassy and Phil did and he was completely in love with his sister. Explained why he always teased her all the time.
"Well you start middle school soon and you will meet friends there. Trust me the boys here aren't worth knowing." He tried to give the best advice as he could so that his sister would understand how life really is. Chances were when she finally hit school, everything turns out to be exactly what she didn't expect. He didn't want her walking blind into intimidating boundaries.
"Please, please, please Phai Come on!"
His eyes followed up and down at the girl jumping energetically on his bed now. He finally turned up his music and shooed her away again. "Go Callisto, I am busy."
"Too busy to talk with your sister?"
"Too busy to talk at all, now get out please." It was the last and final warning as he sternly eyed her.
"Fine. I'm telling mom." She pouted.
"Fine. Go ahead." He disputed.
She finally removed herself from his bed and left his room not closing it behind her. Phai pulled off his earphones looping around his neck tossing his cd player at his pillow and swung his legs from is bed to go up and close his door his sister purposely left open for him.
"Phai go play with your sister!" he heard his mom shout. It was like his sister to get what she wanted. Mostly because she was the youngest and the only girl. The girls always get spoiled more.
"Fine!" He groaned languorously and searched through his closest for dirtier clothes suitable enough for the paddock.
"Thanks Phai!" Callista shouted as she hurried by his door to her room down the hall.
"Whatever, you spoiled brat." He muttered. Its not that he didn't want to hang out with his little sister but he tried to keep his distance from the block kids as much as possible. Most of the time they were playing outside or out in the fields. It was everyone's hanging spot.
His sister's smile couldn't have been any wider as she stepped out of the house with her brother who was holding her hand tight, pulling her along with him. He seemed to want the day to hurry up and made it seem like tomorrow was far away, something he was troubled about and it had to do with that Alex kid.
"Yay Phai I can't wait to go play. It's going to be so much fun!"
Callista was always hyped and ready for new adventures even if it meant gardening in there back yard or watering the lawn. She was wearing a cute brown and white dress with flowers hemmed at the edges and little boots with her brown hair up in two buns.
"Yea." He over and looked Cassy and his group of friends as they were jumping the fences that led to the back field.
The neighbor hood was a small neighbor hood, with very rich and classic styled homes. It was known for the wealthy people and ineptly peaceful environment considering kids played about it all the time. He saw Cassy look over at them and then smirked.
Phai sighed. "Fun for you but bored for me." His features were so mellow one would think he hated his life.
He had never liked any of the kids on the block. They always called him names, like the anti social boy or the smart kid or something else non clever. And they went to is school to top it all. But he still didn't know any of them quite that well and didn't plan too.
"Hi Phai!"
Phai looked to see who owned the voice and saw that it was Tolem. He was riding his bike around. "Oh, hey Tolem."
Tolem rode his bike next to them as they walked down the sidewalk. "Hi Callisto." He said submissively with a swanky smile.
"Hi Tolem." She replied politely smiling up at him.
"So what are you two doing?" the boy on the bike asked circling them.
Phai just wanted to lay and drowse a bit but no. "I have to take her out to play because she's not old enough to go out by herself."
"You mean to the fields. Pfft. There's nothing to worry about out there. We just have coyotes and snakes and I think a werewolf but that's it. Sometimes I hear him hollering at night."
Phai ignored how serious the boy was.
"There are no werewolves out there." Argued Callista biting back. "You're just trying to scare me."
"I've seen them."
"No you haven't."
"Yes."
She poked her tongue at the frizzy haired boy and he just smiled. "Anyway, my friends and I are headed there as well, you just wanna join us. We're going to play ball."
"No we are just going to go to the pond."
"Uh, I don't think so. Let's play with your friends." Callista flashed her eyelids at her brother with pleading big brown eyes.
"They are not my friends Callista!"
"Oh come Phai it will be fine." Interrupted Tolem watching Phais face drift from partially annoyed to extremely.
Phai looked to both Tolem and his sister giving him innocent eyes and piteous smiles.
"Sure, sounds like fun." He finally gave in replying with dull excitement still giving the hint he didn't want to have anything to do with them.
"Great, I'll see ya there. We'll meet by the neglected small house." Tolem rode off and Callista jumped with excitement.
"Hurry Phai let's go!"
"What are you excited about anyway? You don't even play ball." He asked, her coming off as flimsy.
"So. I'm excited to learn it."
"They're just going to tease you. They can be bullies."
"Tolem is nice." she stated.
"Yes, but the others are not. I'm just letting you know before you run home crying because the boys were being mean to you."
"I think I can handle it. You can so I think I can."
"Ah, this is going to be an annoying day." He whined.
They stopped at the gated fences and Callista shook her wrist swiftly from his hand not being able to wait much longer. Phai let it slip and let her go out running towards the group of older kids. He spied her carefully not being able to trust the others. A shuffle of frail winds passed by him and he closed his eyes for a brief second wondering if Alex was also going to be there.
He couldn't figure out why the boy was stuck in his head but for the life of him he couldn't get him out. He saw Tolem waving them over and shouting over to him. He sighed once more at the finalizing of going through with this.
Cassy, Crater, Leon, Phil, and Perdicas stood in a line with baseball bats in there hands, blowing gum bubbles seeing who can get one the biggest. Roxanne sat on a little log watching the immaturity of them grow bigger and bigger. The more she saw them everyday at school the less amusing they got.
Cassy won and immediately they all started to jump each other and wrestling around in the grass as twigs and what not attached to there rough boyish clothes.
Roxanne yawned and then sighed. She was still upset with Alex and would remain bored until he changed his mind and decided to show up.
The sun was setting slowly but it was still light outside, the skies turning pinkish orange and blending behind the narrow clouds. It was only slightly windy but the weather was nice enough for them to still play and have fun.
"Hi!"
Cassy pushed Phil off of him and stood up with a disgusted look on his face. He looked up and down the girl who rudely interrupted there playing time. He ripped grass from the ground and tossed it at her for laughs and giggles.
The young girl ignored it. "I'm Callista. What are you guys doing?" None answered and Roxanne glared at her like a snot. They saw Phai approaching.
"Cool, you made it." Said Tolem tossing a ball in the air and then catching it.
"You invited him?" asked Phil not caring if he said it loud enough as he looked to Phai and his sister. "Well hello Phai, I'm glad you can join us." He smirked wickedly and tapped the bat against his shoulder.
Phai didn't say anything and just placed his hands deep in his pockets, not sure whether it was because he was cold due to the wind or because his fists were clenched tight so that he didn't have to punch any of them in the face.
"I want Phai and Callista on my team." Claimed Tolem. The boys laughed at him.
"You want a girl on your team" Crater laughed. "My bad two girls on your team." He looked at Phai arrogantly. "Pfft. Roxanne might aswell join."
"Don't dog me out with these two." Roxanne folded her arms. It was obvious Phai and his sister were not worthy enough to be in her presence.
"Phai is good at ball, he's done it before." Tolem bragged for him.
"She probably doesn't even know what a ball is." Stood Crater dominating the little sun Callista had as he stepped in front of her. "We don't have time to teach you little girl."
"Back off Crater." The brunette boy replied composed with his hand on his little sister's shoulder. "Callista let's go to the pond then."
"Yea because at least there she might be actually able to swim." The boys started to laugh again accept Leon and Tolem, Leon being more behind the scenes and Tolem being more out front.
"Just let her play. We are not at the world cup. We are in the fields." The frizzy haired boy registered.
"She's probably never played ball in her life. Go play with your Barbie's and maybe your brother will join you." Teased Crater again.
Phai clenched his jaw and stared at Crater. His breath crowded down under his ribs but he controlled himself before he would explode. "Okay then we will just sit out. Come Callista."
"No I want to play."
"Callista just come."
Phai walked her over to the pond and they hopped into the boat roped and hooked to the deck so that it would keep it from sailing off. "We'll just sit and chill here." He looked at his sister who was looking unhappy with frowning eyes and a moping face. Phai lifted her chin and smiled shamefully. "What, I told you they were mean."
"I know, I know." Her little fists hit at her knee.
He smiled and pattered her leg. "Relax a bit, they aren't worth it." He assured her through his secure big brother tone.
"You don't have any other friends or something."
He just shrugged honestly too tired to even care to think about it. "No." His eyes closed again.
Alex had seen his friends go out to play but when he saw that Phai was going he decided he might just go.
Let's see, let's see, where to begin. I was a shy boy can you tell. Until I met Phai my personality changed like the world changes seasons. Fact. He was everything to me. Truth. I owned his heart. Honestly. I did not want to share him with anybody. I didn't like him looking at anybody and I didn't want him looking at anybody. I was selfish deep down and still am. But that's how much I love him. When I saw him heading to the meadows with the rest of the kids, for some strange reason my veins began to pump. Maybe if I became more like my friends, then maybe he would notice me more?
Before my dreams came into play, I was confident, crazy, and ambitious. But my visions had a way of destroying a young boy's life almost completely. I am grateful that I have at least until my high school year to live but what's in that for me. I die and then what. What happens to Phai. Even if I do succeed in getting him as mine, is that not me hurting him because I leave him behind in the world.
I say I know everything about him and him me, but till this day I still don't know his exact feelings when he discovered my time of death. I never told him about it. Was that the right thing to do, or was that me being deceitful.
Roxanne watched Crater hit the ball hard and the boys ran to go chase it.
She saw Alex approaching. She tried not to smile.
"Oh so you've decided to show up?"
"Yea, I'm here."
"Well I'm glad."
His dark eyes aimed over at Phai sitting at the pond playing with his sister. He smiled. "Yea I am too."
Callista and Phai looked over when they heard all the boys shouting and saw that the reason for it was because the blonde neighbor showed up.
"Isn't that our neighbor? Why don't we ever talk to him?" she asked looking to Phai concerned after having a brief time in watching the group of friends having more fun than them.
"How am I supposed to know why we don't talk to him? You can go on ahead."
"Mom always talks about him coming for dinner. They never see his parents home. I think he's a vampire because sometimes I see him taking walks at night or his bedroom light is always on."
Phai smirked. "And how do you know all of this."
"Because I can see his room from my bedroom window." She said over the defensive. "I'm not a stalker okay." Assuming that's what he was getting at with his response.
He glanced at the blonde and then back at his sister removing the locks falling in his face as the wind came in stronger. "If someone told you that they found you interesting what would you say back?"
"I would hug them and kiss them forever." Callista replied using her hair clip to carve in the wood of the boat not concerned at all with the sudden question.
"Uh yea this is a little different little sis." He was definitely not going to hug and kiss Alex for saying something like that.
"I don't know. The natural thing would to say thank you." She replied openly.
"What does that even mean? Interesting? It makes me sound a bit odd or awkward, you know?"
"I would feel special if someone told me that. I can't wait for the day till someone tells me that. That would be the first person I would date."
"I would have to kill anyone who dates you. Boys can be vain sister, just be careful and don't think about that special someone yet. Wait until you are old enough."
She just shrugged. Being in a relationship wasn't really on her mind anyway but she was anxious for Phai. "Do you have a special someone yet? Can't wait to play with her and make birthday cakes for when you have a little baby."
"I'm in middle school, barely hitting high school. I don't have time to think about that or care." He responded to her absurd future planning.
"You don't like the girls at school then?"
"The girls at the school screech a lot. They are not my type."
"What's your type?" she finished carving a heart in the boat and blowing the sawdust away.
"Never really thought about it. I just know screeching girls are not." She smiled broadly and he grinned looking at her.
"Oh come on Phai, do you like pretty girls, do you like good smelling ones, funny, loud? There has to be something you want in someone. Or else you're just going to get what you get and that can't be any fun."
"Looks don't concern me much;"
"And?"
"And this is awkward to discuss with you."
"Whatever. Sooner or later mom might want you to give me the sex talk."
"I hope the kids don't talk to you about sex in second grade." he looked shocked.
"They talk about it all the time." He frowned and his sister gave him an innocent smile. "Don't worry about it; I'm not one of them. Anyway back to you. I think you deserve someone very special."
"I just want someone who will love me more than this world. I want someone who I could trust to share my heart with. But believe me little sis, seeing this world today there is no such thing as that special someone."
"I bet you there is."
"I bet not."
"I bet yes."
"No."
"Oh, oh and oh! You should take me to school with you tomorrow and we can go hunting for that special someone." She almost leaped from the boat soaring with exhilaration.
"Callista I am not going to find that person in middle school. We all have a bit of growing up to do first."
"Kill my joy why don't ya."
/
The TV light flashed within my cold eyelids and a deep roaring rummaged through my young head. I saw like it appeared right before me, the blonde king kneeling at the foot of the bed taking his lovers hand into his own and kissing each. The words were echoed but there. The picture was somewhat indistinct but still there.
You have me looking everywhere for you Hephaistion.
The general sits calmly looking at his friend with the deepest love.
I've been here Alexander. I haven't moved.
But I checked here. I swear it. I've checked everywhere in the whole kingdom.
The king appears to be nonspecific and his hands are shaky. His strong eyes are fighting to keep his lover in focus.
Your mind is playing tricks on you again. That's what happens when you indulge in wine Alexander. You become unsteady. It worries me. Much more than usual I'm afraid.
I don't mean to worry you.
It makes you feel good and I understand that. He cups the blonde mans cheeks. But sometimes enough is enough.
I will stop, I promise.
The general laughs softly and shakes his head. No you won't my king. It's too much for you to think about now. Come to bed with me.
The king watches as the general stands and slips himself of his clothing. Alex are you coming or are you staring again.
I'm following.
He stands catching his drunken footing. Hephaistion guides him the rest of the way.
\
I never felt fear before; I think the only fear being to lose Phai. My death would be one thing but his, his death is everything. He takes care of me, when I do not seek it. He loves me when I do not see it. He finds me when I am too blind to find him.
"Maybe I am the one who is blind." Alex spoke. He felt a wet liquid by his fingers. He lifted his hand from the counter. Glass was scattered, broken pieces were everywhere and water was spilling over the counter top. He must have let his cup slip out of his hand.
"Just great." His visions even left him little room for what was real. He was going to go mad he swore it if they kept appearing to him in the awkward of times. While cleaning up the mess he heard the sound of the door bell ring.
He didn't want to be there or that's what he told himself but Callista decided to run her big mouth and tell their parents about the boy next door. His mother thought it a good idea to invite him over sometime so that they could get to know him more. After all they had been neighbors for sometime now. She told them it was the right thing to do.
The brown haired boy tried to look more normal when he heard the door opening. "Hey?" Phai said unflinchingly even though his body was somewhat tense.
Alex wasn't expecting him. "Uh hey." Infact he didn't know who he was expecting. Just not him, Tolem maybe or Roxanne.
Randomly they both fidgeted as everything around them roamed in stillness and Phai couldn't take it anymore. His mind staggered when he saw the different colors of the boy's eyes. He never noticed it in school and something about it turned him very mystic.
"So listen, my mother noticed that you are always home alone and she wanted to invite you tomorrow evening for dinner."
Alex blinked consuming in the realistic ness of this event.
"You came to tell me that this late."
"Its eight o clock Alex, it's not that late."
"Oh sorry, I thought it was midnight."
Phai studied the awkward boy. It was strange, the purely physical sense he got just by being within feet of him.
Alex cleared his throat this time seeing the other boy staring and not him this time. "Uh actually my parents said they would be home tomorrow."
"Okay."
"And I'm not always alone." Alex lied.
"Well tell that to my mother if you ever decide to come over."
One trait I still had that I could arguably compare with the blonde in my dreams. When challenged we often let pride take us over and well it did and it did its job perfectly. I was the loneliest person I knew and why I lied to Phai about that I have no idea. Maybe I didn't want anyone's pity or attention. But then again what was I thinking. It was Phai for goodness sake. He was the one who recovered me from my pride and arrogance. Shy versus Coward versus Pride. What's next?
Phai felt infamy all of a sudden, thinking he let it sound like he actually was inviting him to come over.
"So did you have fun tonight?" Alex brought up rubbing the back of his head, messing up his blonde hair.
"Yes because having a deep conversation in a boat with my sister is fun." He slyly joked.
They both shared a smile. "Sorry about that, they can jerks sometimes."
"Are you home alone now?" the question unexpectedly skidded from the brown haired boys lips.
"Yea, why?"
"No reason."
"Actually I just wanted to apologize for being a bit rude to you at school the other day."
"I guess I shouldn't have been staring."
"As much as you do stare I don't think your ever going to get over that habit."
"If it makes you uncomfortable I will stop, I just sometimes don't even know I'm doing it."
"I'm fine with it; I just wanted to know the reason."
"If you seen me doing it why ask me now after three years?" Alex finally felt the knot untie in his stomach, throat and heart.
Phai blushed but held his smile well. "Because my parents always taught me never to speak with strangers. And you were strange to me. Not a bad strange though, just interesting I guess."
"Phai mom says come tuck me into bed!" Phai quickly turned away from the blonde boy hiding his embarrassment of both his sister and his confession and decided to leave it at that. "I will see you later." He hurried back to his house taking his sister who was waving at Alex then shut off the porch light.
"Goodnight then." said Alex.
"Goodnight." Phai replied back.
Rare days like this sneak up on you about a hundred and thirty eight times in your whole entire life. From birth until death. Nobody until creation. A bottle of milk until an old walking cane.
This was the rarest day of my life and even deep within my eyesight as stronger images maintain the cells in my head, nothing beats the first time in eerie reality that you actually had a decent conversation and a comfortable one with the most treasured person you will ever, ever know. A treasure so buried deep in the heart that you can not possibly unleash until the original heart has died out.