Eyes that see into Infinity

Part 1

Chapter Four

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After that day, the next day became a bit more awkward. The interactions with those two had gotten only a little better. They would pass by in the hall and Phai would actually look at him this time, with smiles, and saying some hellos. That was it but it was a start.

All day at school we stole glances at each other making even ourselves uncomfortable. We bumped into each other in the hall at least three times, one time him not even realizing it was me again. And it wasn't like it was on purpose but the halls were crowded and we had to work with the little space we had. We had another short conversation, but so far the most sincere one. I think he knew I liked him he just couldn't figure it out yet. From what I've seen of his smiles, which grew much more intimate he must have had something in his guts to think that I was the one who was going to share his heart with him. Its funny when everyone other than yourself seems to know how you feel which you dot even realize yourself. My friends hinted about my affection towards Phai and joked about I, more of it coming form Cassy and Tolem and even sometimes Roxanne. They didn't know for sure how I felt but they assumed something.

Roxanne I knew had the biggest crush on me and she literally went around the school telling everyone she and I were dating. I might as well have been. I just went along with it because I wasn't sure even for us. She was cute, stubborn, strong minded, and smart but she was everything I hate in a girl. Rude, Dramatic. Jealous and sometimes tricky. I do not like tricky people. My mother is sly. I do not like that feeling. My father he could be clever as well. Pranks and surprises bothered me so much and I still don't know why.

Still even though the days had been getting better between Phai and I, two problems I seemed to be having was knowing how he felt about me. That was something of a surprise I guess. I just wanted to know. Actually that's probably why I don't like the fact that clever and cunning people are everywhere. Phai he was cunning but not in a bad way. Instead of cunning I say he was more observant of everything around him which made him who he was. He was quiet himself and didn't speak unless coaxed and he created such a wall where no one could enter unless that person was worth his time. And no one seemed worth his time.

The second problem was Cassy hanging around him all the time, teasing him. Teasing he did but I saw something different. I saw flirting. Now I didn't quite understand how flirting was like, because I never flirted before. Girls flirted with me but me I never connected in that case of expertise, women only seemed to be good at.

But Cassy had a different kind of flirting and a sly way of doing it. That was putting Phai down in order to make himself look good. How is that flirting? Because half the girls in school always fall for the boys who pick on them. I guess it's some kind of weird attraction. Have you noticed many women in abusive relationships and can't seem to get away from it. I know because that's; how my parents are. The cheating type, the angry type, the beating type but something still attracts them to each other. It's like a sin. We do it, we love it, but we hate it because we suffer at the end of our time because of it.

But then again Phai is not a weak little girl. He is a boy. He is mine. Jealousy, lust, love, anger, fear, death, and any type of feeling or emotion is everything I want to share with him myself and nobody else and if I have to fight Cassy for him, I will.

It was the last class period and gym class was up. Alex watched his friends swim from where he was sititng at the benches.

The students in the class pretty much consisted of the neighbor hood kids including four girls he didn't even know or talk to. They all met at the swimming pool. The teacher blew his whistle and the students gathered, the girls on the opposite side of the boys, girls stood in black whole pieces while the boys stood in small black Speedos. The whistle went off again and the girls each took a lane, the couch wanting them to go first with the exercises.

Phai, Cleitus and Roxanne were the best swimmers of the league. Alex did not swim. He could swim but he hated water. He hated the thought of drowning and perhaps dying before it was his actual time. However he always enjoyed watching Phai swim despite the boy never speaking with him.

Alex sat off to the side pretending he was there for Roxanne and the rest of his friends. Roxanne waved to him once she finished with her backstrokes and he waved back.

The coach whistled again. The girls left the water and it was the boys turn. The boys had been more elite than the girls so the coach expected more from them. Roxanne always argued how sexist the coach was and even tried to get him fired by complaining to the principal about it.

What can I say about Roxanne? Well she was very outspoken, speaking her mind whenever she had the chance and whenever no one wanted to hear it. No one took her as seriously as she took herself. She always wanted things her way, and that's why I couldn't last with her, because I was the same. Always wanting things my way and no one else's. Some personalities can collide and that's why I wanted someone who could be worthy of being my other half. I want that person to be everything I am not.

The boys lined up each claiming a lane and Phai smiled at the blonde boy before putting on his goggles. The teacher had them doing freestyle swimming. He sounded the whistle and the boys hit the water. They were to race back and forth seven laps.

"On my whistle, stop!" the coach shouted.

Alex watched Phai gracefully stroke through the water. He was as calm and focused as usual and getting his laps done before everyone else. Alex stole a glance at all the girl swimmers who also had crushes on Phai cheering him on and swaying and going on about him being the hottest person in school. He wasn't the only one who had a crush on him so it seemed and other girls would flirt with him all the time even though he never really acknowledged them. They were girls though and how was Alex to compete with them? He didn't have a chest he could bust out or sexy legs he could strut.

Phai never saw anyone the same way they saw him. They thought him pretty and he though himself normal. They thought him shy and he thought him self outspoken. They thought him plain easy to get but he thought himself plain hard to get. He was the opposite of everybody. Not once had I seen him hiding behind lockers waiting for a girl with a hot body to pass by. It just wasn't his style or what he was looking for.

But I was glad Phai wasn't the one who had most of the attention.

Yes girls swooned for him and talked about how cute he was but luckily there was another option and that was Cleitus Black. Cleitus was fifteen and good looking. He had the girls crawling after him following his scent. All the girls loved him. All the boys looked up to him. Now I bet your wondering why a sixteen year old is doing in middle school. Because sad to say, he was held back because he managed to fail several course classes previously. It wasn't because he was stupid, because he wasn't. Black was very smart. But what he had told me was that he wasn't the dedicated kind and then left it at that. I still don't know what that means. I guess it was his choice. He might have been ditching classes or hanging out with the wrong crowds, the crowd being highschoolers or decided he was going to be lazy and not finish, but other than that he was pretty cool and he I were very close mostly because my father loved him.

"Hey?" The spiky blacked haired teen sat next to Alex on the bench, chewing on some gum then spitting it out in a wrapper, crinkling it up and shoving it in his pocket.

He wore leather jackets all the time and baggy pants.

"Hey Cleitus." Greeted Alex smiling.

"So I heard Roxanne is having a birthday party next week. Are you going?"

"Do I have a choice?" Alex literally felt locked in a prison as Roxanne was always on his back.

"I'm going for the cake and ice-cream. She can find her present elsewhere because I got no money." Black admitted frankly bobbing his head to the music that was playing through the speakers.

"Yea about that what should I get her?" Alex wasn't familiar with things girls like.

"I wouldn't get her anything that involves diamonds because rumors are already going around that you two are dating and well that wouldn't look to good especially if the rumors aren't true. So... I would get her like hairspray or bubblegum machine. You know something that girls like."

"Girls don't like boys to give them hairspray. She's going to throw a fit about how I think she needs to do her hair or something."

"How about you go ask Thais. She's a girl she could help you know what girls like."

"Nah, Thais is more tom boyish. She's going to suggest a weapon or a lighter. She likes burning things."

"Well then your screwed Alex." Cleitus and Alex then saw there friends had already dried up and changed into normal clothes approaching him.

"Ask Cassy." The blacked haired boy suggested. "He seems to know a lot."

"Yea too much." replied Alex watching Cassy eyeing Phai from across the pool.

"Mom can you turn down the music, I'm trying to talk to Phai!" Callista politely shouted to get her moms attention as oldies music was blasting in the car on their way home from school.

Their mom had a routine. Since Callista's classes got out first she would stop by to pick her up and while they waited for Phai they would go out for a quick ice cream.

"Sure honey." She turned down the music. Phai looked at his sister regretting he forgot his CD player.

"What do you want this time?"

"I was going to ask you how school was and if you searched for someone special yet?"

"I told you, I'm not looking."

"What are you two talking about?" the mom asked curious overhearing them.

"Nothing." Replied Phai.

"Mom don't you think Phai needs to start dating. He's so boring at home all the time."

"Be nice to your brother. I don't want him dating because that means he's growing up and I don't want my little munchkins to grow up."

"Case closed Callista. I win."

"But mom don't you want grand kids." She said ignoring her brother and kicking the back of Phais' seat.

"Good point and yes I do." The mom answered.

"Okay then Callista how about when you go to middle school next year you can find someone." Phai suggested hoping she would stop bothering him about it.

"Blah, boys have cooties."

Phai didn't even know why he spoke to his sister about love to begin with. He thought it the biggest mistake of his life. He should have just told her love didn't exist but that would break her heart. She still had time to grow up and find that person. He shouldn't ruin it for her because he hadn't found that person.

"Callista do you even know what cooties are?" he asked.

"Something nasty. So when are you going to date?"

Phai rolled his eyes. "Callista I will start dating when I feel like it okay. Drop it please."

"Fine."

They pulled up to the driveway and Callista and Phai got out the car in a hurry. Callista rushing to go play with her dolls and Phai rushing just to get away from Callista.

"Phai sorry I didn't check the mail today, can you please go and bring it in." Their mom asked while stepping into the house trying to calm down Callista who was jumping around everywhere with her backpack still attached to her.

"Sure."

"Phai if there is anything for me bring it to my room please!" Callista shouted out the door. It was a wonder why no one liked them.

Phai simply smiled thinking no one would want to write to her for the fear of what she might write back. It would be twenty pages of scrambled words. They recently found out she was dyslexic so that's why they have her in a special schooling with teachers who would take their time with her.

Phai spotted his blonde neighbor walking up to his drive way, hands in his pockets; head down like he was thinking about something. Phai always smiled at how the boy could be so isolated some days like he wanted nothing to do with the world but attentive other days.

"Hey Alex."

Alex looked up at him and immediately he was in good spirits smiling diffidently with slight attraction. "Hi Phai." Like always he never wanted the conversation to end just there. "So are you going to Roxanne's party?" He already knew the answer, it was just a good topic bringer.

Phai frowned. "Wasn't invited." He began flipping through the letters in his hand and noticed Alex looked like he felt bad about it. The browned haired boy just shrugged "Its okay, I don't want to go anyway. I hope you have fun though."

"I'll try."

Phai and Alex both turned when they saw both Alex's parents pull up into the drive way in their expensive cars. Phai frowned when he heard both of them arguing once stepping out.

Alex flushed embarrassed at the lack of manners they had.

"Oh Alex who's this?" asked his mother glaring at the boy with a suitcase in her hand a phone in the other while the dad was searching through his car for something.

"He's my next door neighbor."

Phai smiled and said greeted her very modestly.

She looked unimpressed. "Oh…okay then." She walked off into the house and Phillip remained on his phone passing by them both with no acknowledgment.

"Is that awkward for you? Your parents being both home?' asked Phai feeling somewhat bad for him.

"A little. Sometimes I wish they would be home on separate days."

"Do they fight all the time?" Phai knew it was none of his business but he couldn't help but be interested and certain.

The blonde just nodded hating to admit it himself but had no problem admitting it to him. What was Phai going to think now that he discovered his parents were way less normal than his own family. "I'm not even saying this to be rude but are you sure you don't want to come over. You can anytime if you want."

Alex grinned. "Thanks, but its best if I'm home when they are. They could kill each other."

"Well just for a heads up my mom is going to keep bothering me about inviting you over, so the sooner you come the better."

They both shared a small laugh.

"Okay. I'll keep that in mind." The blonde responded back.

They both went into their houses.

"Now that I got a close up, our neighbor is cute." Callista squealed at the table and proceeded to pop peas in her mouth missing every time.

Phai smiled tiny and then picked at his food. "Mom Callista needs a dog or some pet to keep her occupied so she doesn't bother me anymore."

"Phai that is the best idea since macaroni and cheese!" Callista was excited and started listing all the pets she wanted giving each a name.

"Thanks for putting the idea in her head.' the mom replied to Phai who was still smiling about something.

"Don't you think he's cute Phai?"

The daydreaming boy didn't register the question at first until his sister repeated it.

"Why would I think another boy is cute Callista?"

"I dunno."

"Speaking of him, Phai have you invited him over yet?" the mom asked merely.

"Yes, twice."

"He refuses?"

"Seems that way."

"He's probably just shy. You know how young boys can be." The mom waved it off and took a bite of her food.

"I think if I go and invite him he might just come." Callista suggested.

"Yes you and your charming personality?" Phai joked and Callista poked her tongue at him.

The mom dropped her fork in sudden back track."Oh Phai I almost forgot to tell you, Tolem wants you to go with him to Roxanne's party. He came by earlier today before leaving for school."

"I wasn't invited though." The boy replied mellow.

"Well she told him to invite his friends so you're his friend aren't you?"

"Yes but not hers." The boy cringed at the thought of Roxanne. She was definitely not a likeable person.

"She's mean." Said Callista nodding dramatically, Phai agreeing with her.

"All the better reason to show up." The mom encouraged with a tricky smile, and then humming before standing to clear her plate. Phai and Callista smiled to each other.

"I will think about it." Phai replied.

The mom turned to him with her hand on her hip. "Okay well if Tolem shows up to my house because you refused to go I won't be happy."

"So I hear your friend Tolem talking about a party at Roxanne's Alex?" Olympias reinformed.

"Yes."

"Don't go son. Worse case is kids are going to get drunk and lose their virginity." His father Phillip pointed his fork at his son giving what he thought was good advice.

"Its middle school dad."

"That didn't stop me. Back in my day, kids your age were doing all kinds of sick stuff."

"Who is this boy who lives next to us?" Olympias desperately dropped the subject.

"His name is Phai." Alex responded monotone.

"Oh..." She proceeded to chew her food. "He looks very… neutral." She sniggered like a cat.

"Is their reason why we don't talk to our next door neighbors?" Asked Alex. He felt it was about time to know. "We didn't even invite them to our open house or introduce ourselves."

"Why is it our job to do that honey? We were the new people. They should have introduced themselves." Olympias answered sipping from her wine glass.

They remained quiet the rest of the dinner until his father got a phone call disrupting the silence. He checked to see the caller and ignored it putting it back in his pocket.

Olympias glared. "Was that the office Phillip? Or was that a new girl you're cheating on me with?" She smirked devilishly.

Phillip gulped his wine down and slammed the glass on the table. "Even if it were another I wouldn't tell you witch."

Whenever my parents were home, my head ached even more than usual. If anything were to kill me it would have been them. I am a sane kid with insane parents. But now all I wanted to do was jump off a fucking cliff. No child should feel the need to take there own life because their parents were too selfish to each other and to realize that I was in pain.

I was a trooper. Never whined, or complained. First, there was no one to complain to and second there was no point because my problem couldn't be fixed. My high tolerance was another gift I suppose. Even if I did tell my mom and dad what was wrong with me they wouldn't believe one word. Who dies of lack of sleep? It sounds like a joke. I could see my dad laughing his ass off and my mom just shrugging telling me to take some sleeping pills.

Alex went upstairs after hearing enough of his mother and father fighting about the phone call. He then decided he would take Phai up on his offer.