Cannonball Run 7: High Speed Heroes

by BKelly95

Co-written by The Turbo Man. The Cannonballers have returned for another race around the world for a five hundred million dollar first prize. Who will rise? Who will fall? And who will win the Cannonball Run?

5. I Got Here As Fast As I Could

CANNONBALL RUN 7: HIGH SPEED HEROES by Bkelly95 and The Turbo Man

DISCLAIMER: We own nothing except our originally created characters. The street racer clubs mentioned in the chapter are borrowed from 'Midnight Club 3: DUB Edition', which is property of Rockstar Games. Thanks again to GX7 for his assistance.

Chapter Five: "I Got Here As Fast as I Could".

The Silver Bullet fell towards the raging river below.

Suddenly, the car was lifted up. Hardtop and Lone Wolf looked around in confusion.

"Hi guys." a voice said.

Both men looked out their windows and saw a smiling Mr. Incredible carrying the Silver Bullet towards the banks of the river, where the other Incredibles had parked the V8 Ghost.

"Good job I got here when I did." he said.

"Thanks, Mr. I." said Hardtop.

"Okay, this is it." said Lone Wolf. "We have to put our heads together and find a way to make sure these guys don't succeed in stopping the race.".

"Yeah, but for now, why don't you guys take it easy for a while." said Elasti-Girl into the radio as she watched her husband lower the Silver Bullet to the ground.

"Yeah. We're having hot dogs, s'mores, the lot over here." said Violet.

"Sounds great." said Lone Wolf. "Let's take five, Hardtop. You were doing great back there.".

"Thanks." said Hardtop as he and Lone Wolf got out of the Silver Bullet. "I just wish we could get back at that 'vette driver and discuss her future as a mental patient. I saw it was a woman.".

"You may be able to." said Elasti-Girl. "Notice that one of us isn't here?".

Lone Wolf looked around and said "Yeah, where's Dash?".

Suddenly a fast blur appeared and Dash appeared.

"Right here." Dash smirked. "While Dad was saving you guys, I planted a homing device on that 'vette while it was making its escape. You can get back at that nutcase soon enough.".

Lone Wolf and Hardtop smiled.

"Excellent." said Lone Wolf.

Just then, the Averse drove down a sloping road to the river bank. Willy's team had witnessed the rescue.

Willy leaned out his window and smiled.

"I'm glad you guys are alright." he said. "So, are we having a rest stop?".

"Seems like it." replied Hardtop.

"Good. I'd like you guys to try my new hot chocolate recipe." smiled Willy.

---

Next morning at Race Central...

"Okay, folks. Here we are with the latest update." said Ron to the camera. "The Cannonball is now into its second day and a fair amount of the racers have now crossed into Tennessee.".

"We believe that in the lead right now is Team Shrek in the Licorne." said Misty. "Closely followed by Team Chaos in the Falcon."

"So it's clear that both the Cannonball caped crusaders are forces to be reckoned with." said Veronica.

"Cannonball caped crusaders?" said Ron, amused. "Try saying that five times fast."

He and Veronica shared a chuckle.

"Anyway, apart from a little fire scare, and an attempted heist of the prize money, both of which were dealt with, things are now quiet at Race Central." said Lazlow. "Brock is presently keeping tabs on the racers who have entered his special puzzle hunt this year. It is believed that their second location is the Corvette plant in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Let's hope they're burning the midnight oil to get there.".

"Indeed yes." said Ron. "But for now, we wish all our Cannonballers the best of luck".

---

In Memphis, the Black Knight cruised along, checking out the sights. Max was at the wheel.

He looked impressed as they passed Graceland.

"Elvis Presley. Great American musician." said Max.

"Well, I've been quite impressed by Australia's music history." said Jake. "Not just Men At Work either. I mean there's AC/DC, Jimmy Barnes, that new band Airbourne. All those guys are great."

"I'm just glad you didn't mention Kylie." smirked Max. "I bet you're gonna tell me you know Elvis personally.".

"Why would I?" asked Jake.

"Oh, come on." said Max. "Did you really think you could keep your origins secret from me for long. I know you're literally Heaven-sent.".

Jake smiled and replied "And Hell on wheels, according to those who've faced me. I'm surprised you're not freaked out."

"When you've seen all the things I've seen in my dimension, you get used to very screwed-up things." said Max.

"I've been meaning to ask: in your dimension there's a very arid climate, right?" asked Jake.

"Yeah, so?" asked Max

"So what's with all the leather?" asked Jake. "Surely it would make you even hotter. But in every post-apocalyptic movie I've seen everybody wears it."

Max thought for a minute. He then smiled and replied "I think a lot of the crazies used the fact that there's practically no law and order just to wear a lot of bondage gear in public.".

Max and Jake laughed. Jake looked at their scanner as they exited the city and said "No cops for about forty miles now. Feel free to put your foot to the floor for about an hour or less.".

"Will do." said Max as he sped up the Black Knight.

They passed a lay-by, which Camaro and AMX had parked their cars in.

"Alright! That's a Cannonballer if ever I saw one." said AMX.

"Then get rid of your Big Gulp and let's go!" said Camaro as he got his gun ready, put on his helmet and drove off after the Black Knight.

AMX did likewise and both assassins followed Max and Jake.

On the Black Knight's radio, Love Fist were getting ready to play.

"Okay! It's a new day, and here is some great driving music for our racers! One, two, three, four!"

The song started.

As the Black Knight sped down the Tennessee highway at high speed, Camaro and AMX headed in on an intercept course.

"I'll go in first." said Camaro into his radio. "Back me up.".

"Understood." replied AMX.

Camaro sent a brief gust of nitrous into his car's engine which gave him a short enough burst of speed to match the Black Knight's speed.

Wheels keep turning.
Blind desires.
Core ambition.
Never tires.

"This guy's getting close." said Jake as he looked in the mirror.

"Think this could be a hostile?" asked Max.

"I think it's definitely a hostile!" said Jake.

"Okay." said Max as he sped the Black Knight up to an even higher speed. "Let's see if he can keep up.".

"He's making a break for it!" said AMX into the radio. "Catch him!".

"Don't panic!" said Camaro. "This dickhead's mine!"

Got an engine.
Got intentions.
No dissensions.
Nothing to hide.

Gotta' mission.
Street munitions.
Any road block.

I believe.
And I believe.
And I believe.
And I believe.
I'll run it.

You know I'll run it.

Camaro pushed his car for all it was worth. He put his free arm out the car's open window and fired a couple of shots from his gun at the Black Knight.

Max moved the car with expert ease and managed to avoid every shot.

"You've done this before!" said Jake, amazed.

"I've faced worse things than bullets in my time." said Max. "Hang on, I have an idea.".

Max had checked the scanner and saw that there were roadworks about two miles up the road.

He kept the Black Knight going a good distance away from the two Killer Cars.

Suddenly, he got on the brakes and turned the Black Knight around so it was facing towards the two hostiles.

"What are you doing?" asked Jake.

"One of my most effective manouveres." replied Max as he sped down the road towards Camaro, who was fast approaching.

Seeing the black car on a chicken run towards him, Camaro smirked and poured on the speed.

Road side tyrants.
Revolution.
Speed is silent.
Absolution.

The two cars quickly got closer and closer to each other. As Camaro was right on top of the Black Knight, he suddenly lost his nerve and swerved off to the side, going past Max and Jake.

"SHIT!" he yelled. He picked up his radio and said into it. "AMX, get that guy!".

Got reactions.
Got attractions.
Each infraction.
We're gonna' die.

"Hold on, he's turning around again." said AMX over the radio.

"What?" said Camaro as he looked in his mirror and saw that the Black Knight had indeed turned around again and was now on his tail.

Max kept his eyes focused on his enemy as he came up on the Camaro's back bumper.

Got redemption.
Fool's intentions.
Any road block.

I believe.
And I believe.
And I believe.
And I believe.
I'll run it.

You know I'll run it.

As the guitar solo started, Camaro got nervous and sped his car up as far as it would go. But the Black Knight's incredible speed kept it on his tail. He began to swelter under his helmet, afraid he would be caught.

Max checked the scanner and hit the brakes on the Black Knight. They had reached the roadworks.

Camaro noticed a flagman who yelled "Stop!" and then looked ahead, horrified.

He slammed on his own brakes, but that didn't stop him from driving into a big hole that had been dug in the road.

The Camaro landed at the bottom of the hole. Camaro pulled his helmeted head out of the airbag and pounded the dashboard in a rage.

The Black Knight drove past. Max honked the horn and gave a mock salute as he drove off at high speed.

"Camaro! Are you okay?" AMX's voice said over the radio.

"I'm alive if that's what you mean." said Camaro. "Get after that son-of-a-bitch!".

"Will do!" said AMX as his car drove past the hole and got after the Silver Bullet.

Jake reached under his seat and pulled out a shotgun which had some strange lights on it.

"Where'd you get that?" asked Max.

"Found it in my Christmas stocking." Jake smirked.

AMX had now caught up with them and was getting ready to attack.

"Alright, bozos. Your butts are mine!" said AMX as he flicked a switch on his dashboard and his front bumper flicked up to become a battering ram.

Got reactions.
Got attractions.
Each infraction.
We're gonna' die.

He sped up as fast as he could and gave the Silver Bullet a thump from behind with his battering ram.

As he backed off a bit to try again, the battering ram suddenly fell off.

"What the hell?" he said. "That ram was made of adamantium!".

As the Black Knight got ahead of the AMX, Jake leaned out the window with the shotgun and took aim at a 'Stop' sign.

He fired a shot from the gun and the sign's post was severed.

As the Black Knight sped on, the AMX tried to catch up.

Got redemption.
Fool's intentions.
Any road block.

I believe.
And I believe.
And I believe.
And I believe.
I'll run it.

You know I'll run it.

The sign started to fall into the road. AMX saw it and jammed on his brakes.

As he stopped, the sign fell with a loud crash onto the hood of his car.

You know I'll run it.
You know I'll run it.

'Drive' by Savatage.

The Black Knight was by now far ahead.

AMX grumbled and picked up his CB and tuned it to Lester's frequency.

"Hello, Mastermind. Come in please." he said.

"Well, anything to report?" Lester asked over the radio. "I'm kind of busy here."

"Camaro and I are out of the game for now. I think our cars need repairing before they can be used again." reported AMX.

"You guys had trouble too, huh?" Charger's voice said over the radio. "So much for 'experts', eh?"

"Like you did any better, old man!" sneered Camaro over the radio.

"Hey, I had a Cannonballer where I wanted him until that caped creep showed up!" said Charger.
"But I know how to deal with him. Besides, I'm not out of the game just yet!".

"Well, whatever it is you're going to do, do it!" snapped Lester. "I hope I can expect a few more results from you lot in the next continent! In the meantime, Camaro, you and AMX find transport to the New York area. We have a battalion of Wasps standing by there. I'll give you a chance to redeem yourselves.".

"Roger." said AMX wearily.

---

In Murfreesboro, Tennessee, Team Midnight Club were not so lucky as Ron Burgundy had hoped. They had been arrested by the local police for speeding.

Dice sat in the sheriff's office and waited for him. Finally, his wait ended and the sherriff entered.

"Good morning." said the sheriff. "My name is Sheriff Baxter. I'm sure you know why you were brought here today."

"I was speeding." said Dice.

"More than that." said Baxter. "You are known to be a participant in the Cannonball Run. What's your name? Dice?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you tell me what it is you're doing in this race?" asked Baxter. "Why are you risking your life and those of your teammates and everyone else on the road as you race for the finish?"

"You wouldn't understand." said Dice.

"Try me." said Baxter. "I just might understand. I might understand more than anyone."

"You'll think I'm bad." said Dice.

"Maybe, maybe not." said Baxter. "You just might be doing this for a reason I can relate to."

"I don't think you'll think the ends justify the means." said Dice.

"How do you know?" asked Baxter. "I might respect your choice to risk everything. What is it that's so important to you?"

"Okay, okay." said Dice as he started to get emotional. "It's like this. I'm doing this for my son, Case."

"Your son, Case." said Baxter.

"A few years ago, I hooked up with this girl, Sheryl." said Dice. "She was very good to me and quite the looker I might add. Nice brown hair, the cutest hazel eyes, thin but not too thin, she even had the nicest birthmark on her shoulder blade that looked like an eagle."

"And she was the mother of your son?" asked Baxter.

Dice nodded and continued the story more emotionally. "After a couple of years together, she gave me Case. I had a job as a pizza delivery boy to make money while she took night classes to be a nurse. Just before she finished her schooling, I was involved in a crash while delivering a pizza and they fired me. They just up and fired me. But she didn't hold it against me. She promised to support us both until I got another job."

"So, what happened?" asked Baxter.

Dice really started to get emotional. "She was going for her first day on the job when she got in the way of a gang initiation. Some real hard ones called the Raging Tigers. I heard about it and I got there in time to hear Sheryl tell me to help our son."

"How?" asked Baxter, now concerned.

"Well, with the accident in my profile," said Dice "I couldn't get a traditional job. So, I had to turn to street racing to make ends meet. That was touch and go for a while, then that night. I was desperate. I was forced to put up my pink slip for a large monetary sum. I thought...I thought I had a chance. But when this guy just blows past me, it was all over. Next thing I know, this huge guy, I'm talking orca-big, tells me I've got a choice. I can either take the loss and leave with no cash and no car, or I can drive for him in the Cannonball. If I lose, I'm busted. Those two are other guys facing the same problem."

"So, they've been forced into the Cannonball as well." said Baxter.

"My son, that girl's husband, the Russian's brother." said Dice. "We're all on the edge here. We're trying to help those who can't help themselves."

Baxter thought about his story for a few seconds. Then he said "I can see you've been put into a bad place here. I wish you weren't facing this situation, but I can see you have a good reason to enter this race. I'll tell you what. I'm going to let the three of you go and try to win this race. I'm also going to try to take in as much of your competition as possible."

"Thank you!" said Dice, barely holding it in. "Thank you so much!"

Minutes later, Dice, Parfait, and Savo got back into the Ecureil. Just before climbing into the driver's seat, Dice turned to Baxter and silently said "Thank you." Baxter raised his coffee cup in response. Dice then started the car and drove off.

"I hate it when good people are asked to do bad things." said Baxter. He then went to take a sip of his coffee and looked at his bulletin board. He then froze in surprise. He was so surprised, he dropped his coffee cup which shattered when it hit the floor.

He walked over to the bulletin board and replayed Dice's story in his head.

"I'm doing this for my son, Case."

Baxter looked at a notice of a stolen Case tractor.

"She was very good to me and quite the looker I might add. Nice brown hair, the cutest hazel eyes, thin but not too thin, she even had the nicest birthmark on her shoulder blade that looked like an eagle."

Baxter looked at a mugshot of a woman fitting that very description.

"I had a job as a pizza delivery boy to make money, I was involved in a crash while delivering a pizza."

Baxter looked at a newspaper clipping of a story of a pizza delivery boy involved in such an accident.

"She got in the way of a gang initiation. Some real hard ones called the Raging Tigers."

Baxter looked at a poster for a Little League team called the Raging Tigers.

"Next thing I know, this huge guy, I'm talking orca-big, tells me I've got a choice."

Baxter looked at a newspaper clipping about a morbidly obese criminal mastermind named "Dale the Whale".

"We're trying to help those who can't help themselves."

Baxter then looked at a poster for a children's charity with the slogan "Helping those who can't help themselves." He then looked away in shock.

Dice raced down the highway and said "And like that...he is gone."

---

Elsewhere in the state, Max pulled the Maniac 2 into a convenience store. "Liam, I thought I told you to go easy on the Combos!" he said as he and Laura climbed out.

"I said I was hungry." said Liam.

"Come on, let's see if they have enough nourishment." said Laura.

As Max and Laura entered the store, Liam just laid back and said "And he says I'm irrational at times."

Just then, the Evenflow pulled into the lot. Victoria climbed out and took a look at the Maniac 2. Liam slid down in the seat.

"Yeah, definitely looks like a Cannonballer's car." she said to herself.

Max and Laura walked out of the store. "You got an entire bag of Sun Chips?" asked Max.

"What can I say? I love Harvest Cheddar." said Laura.

"Compared to my wife and my cousin, my diet is practicaly normal." said Max.

"Excuse me." said Victoria. "Is that your car?"

Max looked at the Maniac 2 and said "Sure is. Like tuners?"

"I'm more into muscle myself." said Victoria as she pointed to the Evenflow.

"Nice wheels." said Max. "We call ours Maniac 2. Got a name for yours?"

"I call it the Evenflow." said Victoria.

"Like the Pearl Jam song?" asked Laura.

"Yeah, does it make you feel Alive?" asked Max.

"Did you want to get it in Black?" asked Laura.

"When you drive it, do you need to wear Corduroy pants?" asked Max.

"Are you planning to give it to your Daughter?" asked Laura.

"Is there anything special with the Rearviewmirror?" asked Max.

"Was the car on your Wishlist?" asked Laura.

"Like I haven't head that before." said Victoria. "Yes, the car is named for the Pearl Jam song. It was a present from my brother and he's a huge Pearl Jam fan."

"And what's his name?" asked Max.

Victoria sighed. "Jeremy." she said.

"Something's up." said Liam. He grabbed his mask and put it on.

"So what are you doing out this way?" asked Laura. "Are you also in the Cannonball?"

"No, but that is the reason I'm here." said Victoria as she adjusted her belt.

"You're a fan?" asked Max.

"More like an enforcer." she pulled out a handgun and pointed it at them. "Put your hands on your head. Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

Max and Laura immediately followed her orders. "I think we made one Pearl Jam pun too many." said Laura.

Liam jumped out of the Maniac 2 and called "Twister, on!" A pair of light blue tornadoes were broadcast from his visor and picked up Victoria and spun her around. She landed on her hands and knees with a grunt.

Max, Liam, and Laura jumped back into the Maniac 2 and pulled out. They hit the road at full speed. Victoria climbed back to her feet, then jumped into the Evenflow and took off after them.

Down the road...

"And then Laura asked her if she was in the Cannonball and she pulled her gun." said Max as he drove.

"Obviously working with law enforcement." said Laura.

"Clever puns, I might add." said Liam. "So, do you think she approached the car With Arms Wide Open?"

Laura and Max looked confused. "I don't get it." said Laura.

"Well, you're doing puns based on Pearl Jam songs." said Liam.

"Yeah, I know." said Max. "But 'With Arms Wide Open' is by Creed."

Victoria floored the accelerator and came close to the rear of the Maniac 2.

"Guys!" said Laura. "She's gaining on us!"

"Maybe we should pull our guns and scare her off." said Liam.

"I wish we could." said Max. "If only vehicle transformations weren't illegal."

"That was only in effect two years ago." said Liam. "The ban was lifted during the race."

"Really?" asked Max.

"Yeah." said Laura.

"Why doesn't anyone tell me these things?" asked Max.

He turned the wheel sharply and spun the car so it was facing Victoria. She hit the brakes and brought her car to a halt.

Just then, Max hit the red button on his dashboard. The sides extended outward and revealed tank treads as the wheels rotated downward. The rear hatch rose and revealed a missile rack. The spoiler tilted up to become a radar scanner. A pair of guns extended from the grill.

Victoria took in the scene, then slowly slipped her gearshift into reverse. She eased the car onto the side of the road, then raced off in the opposite direction.

"Shall we continue?" asked Max.

"Why not?" asked Laura.

Max transformed the Maniac 2 back into a sports coupe and raced off.

"Maybe the car makes her feel Everything Zen." said Liam.

"Bush." said Max.

"Maybe she held a Hunger Strike for the car." said Liam.

"Temple of the Dog." said Max.

"Maybe she...ah, forget it." said Liam.

---

Somewhere else, near Cookeville, Tuesday, Katie, Roger and Corey gathered around the Bonfire, trying to figure out where they were.

"We're lost again, aren't we?" said Corey impatiently. "God knows how far behind we are right now."

"Don't worry, guys. I can get us out of this." said Katie.

"That's what you said last time." said Tuesday. "And that's what caused us to take a turn that took us twenty miles out of our way!"

"I know!" said Katie. "That's why I told Roger to stop at that gas station." She held up a road map. "I got this there.".

"Great. A map." said Corey sarcastically.

"Well why not?" said Roger. "Last time all she had was a hunch so I think this is a definite improvement.".

"So, come on! Let's go! I guarantee we can make the lead if we follow this route I've planned." said Katie.

---

Takumi and K.T. sat in Sheriff Baxter's interrogation room. Takumi looked nervous while K.T. just looked mildly annoyed.

"Okay, we got a call for a speeder at eleven o'clock this morning." said Sheriff Baxter. "We went to investigate and found these two. Unfortunately, they don't appear to speak English. So, we're going to need you to translate."

"It's no problem." said a Japanese man. He turned to Takumi and K.T. and said "(Good morning, my name is Masado. I will be translating for you.)"

"First, I want you to ask about their actions on the highway." said Baxter.

"(Can you explain the reasons behind your driving today?)" asked Masado.

"(We're in the Cannonball.)" said Takumi. "(But don't tell him that. Please!)"

"He says they were out for a little drive." said Masado.

"Now, you listen to me!" yelled Baxter to Takumi, scaring him even more. "Maybe that kind of driving..."

"Uh, talk to me." said Masado.

"Maybe that kind of driving is fine in Tokyo or Osaka or wherever you're from!" yelled Baxter to Masado. "But here, we have speed limits! And it's up to you as a motorist to obey them!"

"(This very angry man is explaining that there are speed limits in this country.)" said Masado. "(He says that you are obliged to obey them when you drive.)"

"(Perhaps he doesn't understand the thrill of high-speed racing.)" said K.T. "(Both of us are very skilled in the mountains of Japan.)"

"He says that his skills are perfect for the actions of this morning." said Masado.

"You should tell him this!" said Baxter. "Tell him that if someone were to cut in front of him when he's at those speeds, we'd be scooping his brains off the asphalt and sending them back to Japan in a doggie bag!"

"(This borderline psychotic man is now trying to warn you against racing on the highway.)" said Masado.

"(Maybe you should have him try to race against us.)" said K.T. "(Then, he can see firsthand how our driving skills are.)"

"He's saying you should let him display his driving skills." said Masado. "He says you'd see he's actually quite good."

"Yeah, everybody says they're a good driver!" yelled Baxter. "But get this through your head! No driver is as good as they think!"

"(I can no longer support this angry and possibly racist man any longer.)" said Masado.

"(I'll tell you what.)" said K.T. "(If you can get us out of here, I'll make it worth your while.)"

"Oh." said Masado, feigning embarrassment. "I'm afraid there's been a terrible misunderstanding. These are the guys who phoned in the speeder."

Baxter also looked embarrassed. After a few seconds, he said "Cut 'em loose."

He then stormed out of the interrogation room. Takumi let out a sigh of relief while K.T. smiled.

Masado turned to K.T. and asked "(Split the prize?)"

"(It's a deal.)" said K.T. He joined Masado in a handshake.

---

The Bonfire now drove through a cow pasture, with Katie driving and managing to avoid the cows.

"Brilliant!" Corey complained. "Another patented Katie Howard shortcut!"

"Are you capable of NOT being cynical for a few seconds?" asked Roger. "You saw the route she drew on the map. This will save us thirty miles of highway and bypass any small towns and local yokel speedtrap cops therein.".

"Exactly." said Katie as she steered with expertise.

"This is either pure genius or one of the dumbest things ever done!" said Tuesday. "A bit like that movie version of 'Dune'."

"Okay, there's our exit." said Katie as she steered through an open gateway at the end of the pasture and steered back onto the highway.

Roger smiled. "We've closed the gap quite considerably according to this radar thing. Make like Shirley Muldowney for a while so we can keep it that way."

"Will do." said Katie as she put her foot down.

---

On a long straightaway leading to Kingsport, the Cavaliere tried to overtake the Usagi.

Buffy was able to keep ahead of them without problems.

"That Buffy is sure tough to beat." said Daphne, who drove the Cavaliere.

"Well, why do you think they call her 'the Slayer'." said Freddie.

"Like, don't worry." said Shaggy as he kept an eye on the Slipstream Turbo meter which was almost fully charged.

"Just keep right behind them for a few seconds more." said Velma, as she kept a finger poised over the SST button.

"Come on, Buffy. Let's leave Mystery Stink in the dust!" said Jordan as Buffy steered handily around any obstacles.

"Hey, we may be trying to beat them, but name-calling in unneccessary." said Buffy. "Besides, I feel a real kinship with Daphne.".

As the Usagi reached the 140 mph mark, the SST meter in the Cavaliere was fully charged.

"It's ready, guys!" said Shaggy.

"Roh, boy!" said Scooby.

"Just let me get a clear path." said Daphne as she swerved around the Usagi and got ready for the rush.

"HIT IT!" yelled Daphne.

Velma pushed the SST button and the Cavaliere was shot forward at over 200 mph.

They outdistanced the Usagi with no problems and entered the city of Memphis.

"Holy crap!" said Veronica. "We should have got one of those fitted."

"Never mind." said Buffy as she slowed down. "Maybe we can concentrate on a while on your case, Veronica.".

"Yeah. Any information about the perp?" asked Jordan

Veronica took out her file and looked through it.

"Well, according to the intelligence I gathered, he recently purloined a muscle car, make and model unknown at present, and had intentions of entering the Cannonball to use it as a cover. It's believed that he was seen somewhere near Las Venturas towards the start of the race. No photograph of him on file, though. We don't even know his name yet.".

"Regular ghost, huh?" asked Buffy. "What about the guy he stole the car from?"

"We've been trying to contact him." said Veronica. "Unfortunately, he's currently out of the country. He's left no contact information."

"Well, then, it looks like we can concentrate on the race until we can reach him, then." said Jordan.

---

Back in Murfreesboro, the Doomsayer sped along.

"If we hadn't stopped for that All You Can Eat Chili Dog challenge, we wouldn't have fallen behind!" snapped Luigi.

"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?" said Sonic.

"Never mind!" said Mario. "As you can see, I'm giving it hell so we can catch up.".

"Good." said Tails. "Because as the late Jerry Reed said, 'we've got a long way to go and a short time to get there'.".

"Hey. You like-a 'Smokey and The Bandit'?" asked Mario.

"You bet!" said Tails.

"Then let's put that little number on!" said Luigi as he inserted a CD into the player and Jerry Reed's 'East Bound and Down' started playing.

The Doomsayer drove past a police speedtrap. Noticing the red Alfa's incredible speed, a squad car pulled out and took off after them.

The officer in the car radioed in to Sheriff Baxter.

"Sheriff Baxter, this here's Clark!" the officer said. "I got me a speeder. Red Alfa Romeo, going about a hundred and twenty!".

"120!" said Baxter as he took the report in his office over the radio. "Did you get a look at the driver?"

"Negative, sheriff. But I'm gonna get their ass and bite down hard!" said Clark.

"You're damn right you are!" said Baxter. "I've had more than my fill of those Cannonball assholes today!"

The squad car struggled to keep up with the Doomsayer, but Mario easily got a huge lead on him.

"So much for that." said Sonic. "According to the scanner there's only one more cop between here and the town up ahead.".

"I think we'll have a little fun with these paisans." said Mario as he flicked a switch.

The Doomsayer glowed for a few seconds, and then the paint job changed from red to green.

"This will certainly cause a few headaches." said Luigi.

"I've lost sight of 'em, Sheriff. I could use some help." said Clark into his radio.

"Loomis, are you out there?" asked Baxter into the radio.

"This here's Patrolwoman Loomis here, Sheriff." reported a cop waiting behind a billboard.

"Listen. Clark is in pursuit of an Alfa Romeo, colour red. Keep your eyes skinned for it and get ready to lend assistance." said Baxter.

A few seconds later, the Doomsayer sped past Loomis' patrol car. She looked confused and drove off after it.

"Sheriff, Alfa Romeo just went past me like a cheetah on speed." she reported. "Colour: green.".

Baxter looked confused. "What colour did you say?" he asked.

"I said 'green', sir." replied Loomis.

"Well, catch it anyway!" said Baxter.

"Roger that." said Loomis as she tried to catch up with the Doomsayer.

As the Doomsayer approached the town, Mario quickly veered off the main road and drove into a nearby barn.

"Okay. We'll just let them go past." said Mario as he shut off the Doomsayer's engine.

After a while, they saw both squad cars enter the town and look around for their missing quarry.

"Perfecto!" said Mario as he kissed his fingertips.

"Just one last change." said Sonic as he activated the colour changer again and the Doomsayer became yellow.

Mario then drove the car out of the barn, keeping at legal speed.

"Clark here, Sheriff." said Clark. "We've lost sight of both cars.".

"Great!" said Baxter sarcastically. "How hard is it to lose two nutjobs driving Italian speed machines? I wanna see both of you in my office right now!"

The Doomsayer slowly cruised past the sheriff's station as the two squad cars made their approach.

"Hey, Sheriff." said Loomis. "Did you see that yellow Alfa Romeo?"

"A YELLOW Alfa Romeo?" spluttered Baxter.

"It drove right past the station there. It wasn't speeding, though." reported Loomis.

Sheriff Baxter let out a long sigh and rested his head on his hand.

He then spoke into the radio.

"All units, this is Baxter. See if you can manage without me for the rest of the day. I'm not feeling well.". he said.

---

In Bowling Green, Kentucky, the Utopia, Terrific, Destroyer, Wayfarer, and Asp raced into the parking lot at the Corvette factory. They then pulled into a row of parking lots and their occupants climbed out.

"Looks like we're just in time." said Ron.

"Let's go." said Howard.

"Where are Mortimer and his team?" asked Stella.

"Who cares?" asked Cole. "Let's get that clue."

"Hopefully, this will not take long." said Destro.

The teams entered the factory and looked around.

"Now, where's this clue?" asked the Drake.

"Paul's got it." said the foreman.

The racers looked around the factory and saw the clue envelopes hanging from around the neck of a man who helped to place hoods on Corvettes.

"I think we have to talk to him." said Joe.

"Hey, Paulie!" said Left Ear.

"Yeah?" asked the man.

"You got a clue for us?" asked Lyle.

"Sure do." said Paul. "If you want it, you have to put something on this car."

"Okay." said Charlie.

Venom and Ron grabbed opposite ends of a front bumper and lifted it. They guided it to the car and set it in place. Paul handed them their clue.

"Thank you very much." said Venom.

He and Ron took the clue to the Drake while Destro picked up the car's driver's seat.

"What does it say?" asked the Drake.

"It says to find the Chicken Capital of the World and find the next clue in the middle of a lake sharing its name with a 'Pushing Daisies' actress." said Ron.

"The Chicken Capital of the World?" asked Venom. "What the hell is that?"

Destro had fitted the seat and received his clue.

"I would assume a town known for chicken restaurants." said Ron as Howard took the passenger seat.

"How do we find out what that is?" asked the Drake.

"If Tony were here, he could tell you." said the foreman. "He's probably our biggest chicken lover."

Howard fitted the seat and took his clue.

"When does he come in?" asked Venom.

"About ten minutes." said the foreman as Joe and Cole picked up the rear hatch.

"We can't wait that long." said the Drake. "Maybe we should concentrate on the other half of the clue."

"A lake sharing its name with an actress from 'Pushing Daisies'." said Ron.

"I loved that show!" said Venom.

Joe and Cole had fitted the rear hatch and received their clue.

"Who were the female cast members?" asked the Drake.

"Let me think." said Venom as Charlie and Left Ear tried to maneuver the windshield onto the Corvette. "Anna Friel, Kristin Chenowith, Swoosie Kurtz, and Ellen Greene."

Ron checked his cell phone while Charlie and Left Ear received their clue. "There's a Lake Anna in Virginia." he said. "There's also a Lake Ellen in Wisconsin, but no Lake Kirstin or Lake Swoosie."

"Wasn't expecting those last two." said the Drake.

"Wisconsin is out of the way." said Venom. "Virginia is right on the way to the bridge."

"Good thinking." said the Drake. "I'm going to advance a couple of decades past my favorite music period and say I can't wait to...meet Virginia."

They started for the exit. Several of the other teams checked their cell phones and followed them.

"Be sure to come back for a tour!" said the foreman.

Within minutes, the cars raced out of the parking lot. As they left, the Wisdom pulled in.

"I told you that you should have tried the Pepper Punch." said Mortimer as the team got out of the van.

"Sorry, I thought you meant the Orangeade." said Bob as he closed the driver's side door. "We may have had to switch drivers a couple of times, but I think I'm better at building robots."

They entered the factory. "Hey, you're just in time to give us a hand." said the foreman.

Within a minute, Bob and Mortimer used torque wrenches to attach the wheels to the car. When all four were on, Paul gave them their clue.

A man walked in as Mortimer read the clue to Bob and Bella. "What's going on here?" asked the man.

"Those guys are Cannonballers, Tony." said the foreman. "This was a checkpoint on a puzzlehunt."

"I see." said Tony.

"Great, we're already behind." said Bob. "Now, we have to figure out this clue to stay competitive."

"What's the Chicken Capital of the World?" asked Bella.

"Barberton, Ohio." said Tony as he went to his station.

"Really?" asked Paul. "Everyone else went to Virginia."

"Thank you very much." said Mortimer.

---

The V8 Ghost and the Silver Bullet both sped through Kentucky on the road to Lexington.

Mr. Incredible still checked the readout from the homing device Dash had placed on Stingray's car.

"Alright! I got it! That 'vette is coming to a halt somewhere near Huntington." Mr. Incredible announced to Lone Wolf.

"I know that part of the country." Hardtop said. "My cousin Melvin has a farm out there. I think I have a plan.".

"Well, then, let's hear it." said Lone Wolf.

---

At Race Central, Lazlow once again held down the fort.

"Alright, folks, we've had a buttload of calls coming in from people showing their support of the Cannonball." he announced. "Great to know there are so many eager fans out there. I think we'll go live to a caller.".

The call was connected.

"Hello, caller. You're on the air. What do you think about the Cannonball?" Lazlow asked.

The voice which replied was that of Sheriff Baxter.

"I think it's a right royal pain-in-the-ass!" he said. "That damn race has come through my jurisdiction and caused me the biggest headache I've ever had!"

"Let me guess." said Lazlow, a bit deflated. "You're a police officer.".

"I am the duly elected Sheriff of Murfreesboro, Tennessee. AND I am sick of all this road illegality!" Baxter said.

"Get in line, then." Lazlow sarcastically replied.

"You can laugh, Lazlow, or whatever the hell your name really is, but I will NOT lie down and let this go on!" Baxter ranted. "My cousin is in public office in this state, and with his help I intend to start up my own anti-Cannonball task force to handle this problem. All personnel will be handpicked from the best and brightest the Tennessee Highway Patrol has to offer. I'm calling it...Cannonball Run Assault Patrol!".

"C.R.A.P?" asked Lazlow in amusement. "Your organisation will be called C.R.A.P? What kind of moron are you?".

"I'm not the moron here, you asshole. You are! You and those damn Cannonballers!" Baxter ranted. "That is why exactly I am going to pick the best and the brightest from the Tennessee Highway Patrol and any other states that are willing to co-operate to be in my unit.".

"So, the best and the brightest are suddenly going to become C.R.A.P. police officers?" Lazlow asked.

"Cannonball Run Assault Patrol, Lazlow!" Baxter snapped.

"Whatever. So, have you had many volunteers to join your C.R.A.P. ranks yet?" Lazlow asked, enjoying himself thoroughly.

"It's CANNONBALL RUN ASSAULT PATROL, you retard! Are you deaf or just rude?" Baxter snapped.

"Well, have you had any volunteers yet?" Lazlow insisted.

"About four or five right now. Some are a bit sheepish to step up." Baxter replied.

"So, four or five state troopers are going to stop the Cannonball?" Lazlow teased. "It's appropriate you picked the name you did for your unit as I'm sure they'd do a C.R.A.P. job!"

Lazlow laughed while Baxter grunted in anger.

"That does it!" Baxter said. "I'm through having this infantile discussion with you! You'll see who's laughing when all the Cannonballers end up behind bars where they belong! Good day, sir!"

Baxter hung up the phone.

"And so, there you have it, folks. The Cannonballers have pissed off someone else. Must mean they're doing their job right." Lazlow remarked. "Okay, time for a commercial."

---

In Louisville, Kentucky, the Primus ran in a drag race against a '54 Chevy Two-Ten.

"This guy is really giving it hell." said Captain Pierce, who actually enjoyed the race. "Just keep your foot down, Jerry.".

"Of course I will." said Jerry as he looked up ahead and saw a finish line which had been spray painted by local street racers.

"Okay, here we go!" yelled Jerry as he activated the nitrous shot and sped across the finish line first.

"YEAH!" Jerry yelled. "I have NEVER come in last and I don't intend to in this Cannonball.".

"Well done." said Captain Pierce. "You really tore that guy a new ass."

The Chevy driver pulled over to the side of the Primus.

"Great race, guys." he said. "That reputation you have back in Richmond is deserved, Jerry.".

"Don't you know it, Cousin Jim." Jerry smirked at his cousin. "Great job fixing up the Two-Ten. I really had to fight for that victory.".

Suddenly, a radio in the Two-Ten picked up a police broadcast reporting street racers.

"Shit! Po-po!" said Jim. "I'll try and distract them. You guys get outta here!"

"Right. See ya, kid!" said Captain Pierce as Jerry sped off.

As the Primus turned out of the street it was in, going at well over 100 mph, two police cruisers saw it and gave chase.

"I spent a shitload of my pension fixing this ride up for you, Jerry." said Pierce. "If it gets crushed, I'll never forgive you.".

"Relax, cap." said Jerry. "You've still got that gizmo Shavers gave us.".

"Yep." said Pierce as he pulled out the microwave disruptor gun. "It's only good one shot right now, though. Remember?".

"Then don't miss." Jerry replied as he swerved around a corner. He narrowly missed another squad car, which also turned around and gave chase.

"Driver! Pull over! This is your last warning!" said one cop over his PA.

Pierce leaned out of his window, holding the disruptor gun.

"Steady, steady." he said as he took aim at the leading cruiser.

As the cruisers got nearer he smirked and pulled the trigger on the gun.

A shower of sparks came out from under the hood of the lead cruiser as its' electrical system was shorted out.

The cruiser came to a halt. One of the other cars couldn't stop in time and plowed into the back of the lead cruiser.

The third car swerved around them and kept on the Primus' tail.

"Get back inside, Cap." said Jerry. "I have an idea.".

Pierce climbed back inside and fastened his seatbelt.

"Okay, kid. Whatever you're gonna do, do it now." said Pierce.

"Okay." said Jerry as he turned into another street and drove onto the pavement.

Pedestrians quickly jumped out of the way as the Primus raced down the pavement. The cop car turned into the street and followed Jerry.

Jerry sped towards the courtyard of a museum, where a large Tyrannosaurus skeleton had been erected as an exhibit.

"Normally, I respect history." said Jerry. "But this is necessary."

He steered for a couple of the supports holding the skeleton up and plowed right through them.

The skeleton came down like a ton of bricks, completely blocking the cop car's way.

Jerry laughed and turned down a sidestreet quickly. He steered the Primus through the entrance to an underground car park.

"Just wait a few minutes." he said to himself as he slipped in behind a large truck.

Pierce listened to the car's radio and, after about thirty seconds, heard the police call off the search.

"Whoo!" said Pierce. "Makes me wonder what you needed alcohol for in the first place, Jerry. This shit's intense enough."

"Yeah. I see that now." said Jerry. "Now, we shall be on our merry way".

---

On a long highway in Kentucky, running through some rugged countryside, the Licorne sped down the highway.

At the wheel was Shrek, wearing his Captain Fury mask.

"We seem to have dropped behind Captain Chaos, my friends." He said. "But don't worry. We shall cover lost ground with great ease."

"Amen to that, Captain!" said Puss as Shrek put his foot to the floor and the Licorne took a great boost of speed.

Up ahead of them on the road was Charger, standing beside his parked car. He could see the Licorne coming through a pair of binoculars.

He smirked to himself as he lowered the binoculars.

"So that's one of those weirdos who wears a mask for the Cannonbnall?" he mused to himself. "I'll enjoy this!"

He climbed into to his sinister black Charger, put his helmet on and started the engine as he put his safety belt on.

In the Licorne, Shrek suddenly looked troubled.

"I sense the presence of something hostile, my friends." he said.

Fiona took out some binoculars of her own and looked at the road ahead of them. She saw the Charger getting ready to come at them.

"I think I see it now." she said. "Must be that guy who attacked Corvax."

Donkey looked. "You mean the General Lee's evil twin up ahead there? Captain, we gotta kick some ass for our Cannonball friends.".

"Indeed we shall. Hang on tight, good citizens!" said Shrek as he accelerated the Licorne.

Charger hit the gas on his car and sped towards the Licorne on a chicken run. He laughed to himself as his car reached the 120 mph mark.

The Licorne kept coming. Shrek showed no sign of letting up. Charger poured on the speed as he kept coming at his victims.

Shrek kept on his course, without once taking his eyes of the black muscle car that was fast approaching him.

Charger kept coming. He was now about ten seconds away from ramming right into the Licorne.

Suddenly, a split second before the two cars were about to hit, he swerved to one side and went off onto the grass at the side of the road.

"DAMN!" Charger yelled. The Licorne had kept going.

"SANTA MARIA!" yelled Puss as Shrek sped on. "Your name should be Captain Loco, my friend!"

"Well, I told you he wouldn't take us, didn't I?" said Shrek.

"I don't think we're home free yet." said Fiona.

She was right, as Charger had quickly turned his car around and was now coming right after them.

"You don't lose me that easily, freak!" he sneered as he sped after the Licorne. "I'll show you why I'm the best at this job!".

The Charger came after the Licorne. Both vehicles' drivers kept their foot on the accelerator.

Charger suddenly turned off to his right and drove onto a dirt road leading through some woods.

"Hello, what's he up to?" asked Donkey.

"I think I know." said Shrek. "Get ready for a surprise.".

Charger sped along the dirt road, keeping his eye on it as he drove. He knew this countryside having been all over the United States before. He knew that this road would lead back onto the highway in about a third of a mile.

"Got you now, you green creep!" he said as he prepared to cut back onto the highway to intercept the Licorne.

As the Licorne came upon the point where the dirt road led back onto the highway, Charger suddenly swerved out in front of him.

The Licorne nearly spun out, but the power of the Fury mask enabled Shrek to keep control.

He swerved around Charger and sped on.

"I ain't through with you yet, guy." said Charger. "I didn't get a shitload of trophies from driving in a demolition derby!".

The Charger stayed on the Licorne's tail.

"I have an idea, Captain." said Fiona as she leaned over to whisper in Shrek's ear.

Shrek smiled. "An excellent idea, my love!" said Shrek. He hit the Licorne's boost of nitrous and gained a good bit of ground on the Charger.

As he got out of Charger's line of sight, he sudenly made a hard turn and the Licorne swerved off to the side of the road. He got ready to race back the way they had come.

Charger had now caught up with them. He looked and saw the Licorne facing the other way.

As Shrek sped off back the way they had come, Charger cursed to himself and turned his car around.

"Son of a bitch!" he yelled as he finally got his car facing the right direction and headed off after the Licorne.

As the black muscle car gained ground on the Licorne, Charger reached under his seat and pulled out a sawn-off shotgun.

He cocked the gun and, keeping one hand on the steering wheel, leaned out his window and aimed at the Licorne.

"Alright, asshole! Playtime's over. Time to terminate both this pursuit AND you!" he laughed to himself.

He took a shot at the Licorne. Donkey and Puss ducked to avoid it, but Shrek and Fiona remained calm as Shrek swerved and carefully avoided the gunshot.

Charger chambered the gun again and took another shot as he rapidly caught up with the Licorne.

Again, Shrek swerved to avoid the shot as Charger fired.

Charger had now got alongside the Licorne and laughed maniacally as he aimed his gun right at Shrek's head.

"Night night!" yelled Charger as he prepared to fire.

Shrek smiled, and quickly stepped on the brakes.

Charger's final shot went wide.

Suddenly, Charger heard a horn and looked in front of him. A tractor trailer pulled out of a lane at the side of the road.

He yelled in surprise and swerved out of its way. Both this and his great speed made his car go off to the side of the road and roll over several times.

"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" yelled Charger as his car rolled over, getting more and more damaged with each roll.

The Licorne sped on as Shrek and his team cheered. "I don't think he'll be bothering us for a while, my friends." Shrek said.

He smiled at Fiona and said "Good job you noticed that truck at work, my dear.".

Fiona smiled and said "Truthfully, I didn't really know if he'd pull out when he did. Guess you never can tell.".

"Okay, now let's get out of here." said Donkey.

The Licorne sped off for the state line.

The Charger had finally come to rest on its wheels. The car was now heavily dented and the roof was partly caved in.

Charger had been saved from serious injury by his safety belt and helmet.

He unfastened his belt and climbed out of the car to survey the damage.

In anger, he raised his hand to punch the window of the car, but then hesitated.

He then growled and kicked the window instead, smashing it completely.

"As soon as I get my wheels fixed, those assholes are dead!"

---

On a stretch of rural road near Huntington, Stingray sat in her car, listening to the report that Charger was now out of action.

"Men! You can't count on them to do anything!" she grumbled to herself. "At least I was able to take out that asshole protector in that concept car."

She heard an engine approaching and put her helmet back on.

"Sounds like a customer!" she laughed as she flipped down the visor.

She turned to look down the road as she got ready to start her car.

Her jaw dropped as she saw the Silver Bullet approaching her at high speed.

Before she could snap out of her trance, the Silver Bullet rammed into the side of the Corvette.

Lone Wolf, who was the only one in the Silver Bullet, laughed and honked the horn.

He then turned around and drove back the way he came.

Stingray angrily started her car up and took off after him.

Lone Wolf had gained a good amount of ground on the Corvette and then turned around and went down a dirt road. Lone Wolf stopped and let Stingray catch up with him.

As Stingray neared the dirt road, she stopped to take a look in each direction. Lone Wolf honked the Silver Bullet's horn and made sure she could see him before he drove off again.

Stingray clenched her teeth and drove off down the dirt road herself.

"Your ass is mine, blondie!" she said to herself. She followed the Silver Bullet into the front yard of a large farmhouse near a wheat field. She came to a halt and saw the Silver Bullet in front of her. The silver car wasn't moving.

She smirked to herself and pulled out a bundle of dynamite and prepared to light the fuse on it.

Just then, she heard another engine sound.

"SURPRISE!" Hardtop yelled.

Stingray looked to her left to see Hardtop driving towards her...in a combine harvester. The blades of the vehicle had been turned on and Hardtop was coming right at the Corvette.

Stingray cursed under her breath and quickly turned her car to go into the wheat field. Hardtop came after her in the combine and entered the field as well.

Stingray successfully lit the bundle of dynamite and threw it out her window at the combine but Hardtop was able to avoid it, even in such a large and slow vehicle.

Stingray drove through the wheat field in every conceivable direction, throwing more and more dynamite bundles at the combine at regular intervals but Hardtop still managed to avoid the explosions.

"Shit! Like a bad friggin' penny!" Stingray yelled to herself.

She hung a 180 and drove the Corvette directly at the Combine and then made a quick turn at the last minute, driving back out onto the highway.

She laughed and threw one last dynamite bundle behind herself for luck.

"So long, porkchop!" she laughed trimphantly.

She then looked ahead and saw the Combine driving out of another entrance to the wheat field up ahead of her. Hardtop turned the farm vehicle around until it faced the 'vette head on and drove towards her.

"SHIT!" she yelled. She threw the 'vette into reverse and backed up as fast as she could.

She looked behind her car and then remembered the still unexploded dynamite.

"SCREW IT!" she yelled.

Stingray opened her door and jumped clear of the 'vette as it continued reversing. It went right over the dynamite bundle just as it exploded.

The blue Corvette was completely destroyed.

Stingray swore to herself and ran through the woods on the other side of the road.

The Silver Bullet came up and joined Hardtop as he got down off the combine.

"I think that's one less problem now." Hardtop said. "Do you think we should go after her?"

"Don't worry." said Lone Wolf. "With no wheels, she won't get far.".

About half a mile away, as Stingray exited the forest, she saw a passing truck carrying hay in an open box trailer and quickly jumped onto it.

"I just love to travel in style." she said to herself sarcastically.

---

Somewhere near Indianapolis, the Overlord and the Bisonte both drove down a twisting road, with many sharp turns.

"Okay." said Darius, who was driving the Bisonte. "Here's where I get to show my skills!".

"I must say, you have been handling the car well, with respect and all that." said Frank.

"Well, I knew about your rep so I wanted to impress you. I had Gibbons and Shavers put me through a MAJOR NSA driving school before this race.".

The Bisonte quickly began to gain ground with the Overlord.

In the Overlord, Ford was a bit distracted with a discussion he was having with Don.

"I mean no disrespect to Morris Day, Don. You know that." said Ford. "But I just don't think that any guy who prances around vacuuming his apartment wearing stupid 80s gym wear, including a hairband, and later wears a gold silk suit AND has a friggin' MANSERVANT for God's sake, is in ANY position to call Prince a fag."

"Yeah, well remember, once upon a time, the whole silk shirt, hairy chest and gold medallion look was thought to be macho." replied Don.

"Ford, Frank is coming up." said Jazz. "So can you leave this until later.".

"No prob! This asshole won't get past me." said Ford as he poured on the speed.

As the two cars came up upon another sharp turn, the Bisonte suddenly swerved around the Overlord and took the lead.

Ford angrily honked his horn and yelled "Why don't you learn how to drive, jerkoff!".

"He DOES know how to drive. That's the problem." said Jazz.

Darius swerved with ease around the next two sharp turns, pulling off drifts. The Overlord had trouble performing the manouevers and Ford had to struggle to stay on the road.

"I see what you mean, honey." Ford said in shock.

---

Somewhere in the Appalachian Mountains, the Supernova XS, Kowalski, and Detector sped along the highway, racing each other to the end of the continent. However, Goliath was catching up with them. Garthe selected and armed the missiles on Goliath.

"Goodbye Cannonballers." he said as he fired all missiles at once. The three vehicles weaved and dodged the missiles aimed at them.

"What the hell!" Marcus shouted.

"Homie! Look out!" Marge cried.

All missiles missed their targets. However Garthe had another trick up his sleeve. He armed a laser cannon he had outfitted Goliath with and aimed at the Cannonballers again.

"Let's put an end to this!" Nick said as he pulled out a shotgun. Marcus slowed the Supernova XS down to get beside Goliath, and Nick opened fire on the tires on it's right side. Then Marcus sped the car ahead as Goliath crashed into the side of a rock formation.

Garthe got out to survey the damage as the Cannonballers made good their escape.

"So it didn't draw Michael Knight out." Garthe said to himself. "But I hope he gets the message."

---

In Team Rocket headquarters, Domino, Cassidy, Annie and Oakley watched the TV while eating popcorn and nachos and enjoying drinks, with Lady Gaga's 'Pokerface' playing on a stereo in the background.

"Where do you think the boss is now?" asked Annie as she and Oakley took sips of their pina coladas.

"Who cares?" asked Cassidy. "If Jessie and James DO screw up, we'll make sure they never hear the end of it.

"Alright, folks! It's time now to check in with our eyes in the sky, Wes Mantooth who is currently over Indiana." announced Lazlow on the screen.

The Image cut to Wes on the helicopter, looking at the road through binoculars.

"Thank you, Lazlow!" he said. "I'm checking now and I can see that powering through the state right now is Corey Howard's team in the Bonfire!"

"That's great." said Lazlow. "According to our tracking equipment, they are currently leading the pack! I know that's only if you discount the teams on the Puzzle Hunt, but it's great nonetheless."

"Oh great!" sneered Domino. "Some losers who think Manic Panic is still cool are in the lead.".

From another room, they could hear a very discordant singing voice.

"And now you find yourself in '82! The disco hotspots hold no charm for you!".

"What the HELL Is that?" demanded Oakley.

"I think I know." said Cassidy as she left to check it out.

She followed the horrible singing into an adjoining room.

Butch stood in front a TV, playing 'Guitar Hero Rocks The 80's' on the PS2. He played 'Heat of The Moment' by Asia.

This would not be so bad normally, but he sang along with the song and making guitar noises with his raspy voice.

And he was only in his underwear.

"BUTCH!" yelled Cassidy, embarrassed.

Butch turned to face her and said "WHAT? I'm wearing underpants this time!"

Cassidy sighed to herself disgustedly and went back to the room the others were in.

Annie and Oakley had just finished eating their nachos.

"That was great." Oakley said. "Is there any more food?"

"You can't still be hungry!" Annie said in disbelief.

Oakley had started to look around for some more food.

She noticed a pizza box with about four slices of Hawaiian pizza left in it and smiled. As she approached it, Domino suddenly snatched it up.

"Oh no, you don't!" Domino said. "You've had enough already. Besides, this pizza here is MINE!"

"It should be all of ours!" Cassidy protested.

"Yeah! I don't see your name on it!" snapped Oakley.

"Take a good look." smirked Domino as she opened up the lid of the box and showed it to the other girls.

It was a box from Domino's Pizza.

"You were saying?" Domino said smugly.

"Goddamn it!" huffed Annie.

---

"Let's check in with our leading team." said Veronica at Race Central.

The view screen came to show the 80s team who were all cheering. They had heard the news over their radio.

"I told you that shortcut would work." said Katie.

"Congratulations, guys. You're doing great!" said Misty. "Just keep up the good work and maybe victory will be yours."

"But in the meantime, to honour our currently leading team, here is some music."

On the stage, Bowling For Soup were set up and ready to go.

"I knew we'd get to do this song somehow." said Chris Burney.

"Alright!" said Jaret. "A one, a two, a three, a four!"

Woo Hoo Hooooo!
Woo hoo hooooo!

Debbie just hit the wall.
She never had it all.
One Prozac a day.
Husband's a CPA.
Her dreams went out the door,
When she turned 24.
Only been with one man.
What happened to her plan?

She was gonna be an actress.
She was gonna be a star.
She was gonna shake her ass.
On the hood of Whitesnake's car.
Her yellow SUV is now the enemy.
Looks at her average life.
And nothing, has been...
all right since.

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna.
Way before Nirvana.
There was U2 and Blondie,
And music still on MTV.
Her two kids in high school.
They tell her that she's uncool.
Cuz she's still preoccupied.
With 19, 19, 1985.

Woo Hoo Hooooo!
(1985)
Woo Hoo Hooooo!

She s seen all the classics.
She knows every line.
"Breakfast Club", "Pretty In Pink",
Even "St. Elmo's Fire".
She rocked out to Wham!
Not a big Limp Bizkit fan.
Thought she'd get a hand.
On a member of Duran Duran.

Where's the mini-skirt made of snakeskin?
And who's the other guy that's singing in Van Halen?
When did reality become T.V.?
What ever happened to sitcoms, game shows, (on the radio was)

Springsteen, Madonna,
way before Nirvana.
There was U2 and Blondie.
And music still on MTV.
Her two kids in high school.
They tell her that she's uncool,
Cuz she's still preoccupied,
With 19, 19, 1985.

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

She hates time, make it stop.
When did Motley Crue become classic rock?
And when did Ozzy become an actor?
Please make this stop, stop, STOP.
and bring back.

Springsteen, Madonna.
way before Nirvana.
There was U2 and Blondie.
And music still on MTV.
Her two kids in high school.
They tell her that she's uncool.
Cuz she's still preoccupied.
With 1985.

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna.
Way before Nirvana.
There was U2 and Blondie.
And music still on MTV (Woohoo) Her two kids in high school.
They tell her that she's uncool (1985)
Cuz she's still preoccupied.
With 19, 19, 1985

'1985' by Bowling For Soup

---

Eureka, Oregon...

Global Dynamics, site of the previous year's Cannonball fight, was fully repaired and back in business. There was even a new CEO in charge, a man named Douglas Fargo. It was business as usual, until a clever computer virus shut down their security systems. As this happened, several Wasp Droids snuck inside the facility and went down to Section 3's storage locker which was large enough to house thousands of projects from over the years. The droids searched high and low until finding the one thing they needed. Opening the storage box inside, one of the droids removed the Total Anarchy that was stored in GD ever since last year's Cannonball Run.

"Hey what are you doing!" Dr. Buckaroo Banzai asked as he saw them. "Put that back!"

The droids merely ignored him and left the facility all together, easily fighting off any members of the security team and the local police who got in their way. Outside, Sheriff Jack Carter and Deputy Jo Lupo cursed to themselves as they saw the droids fight their way out with little effort and get away with the mask.

The droids got into their chopper and handed the mask over to Badvibes, who grinned with evil delight as he held the mask in his hands. "If this wasn't supposed to be given to DeMarco, I would wear it myself and tear those Cannonballers a new one."

Badvibes and the Wasps flew off, leaving Eureka behind.

Buckaroo joined up with Jack and Jo.

"Can you track that chopper, Jack?" he asked.

"They have a stealth system we've never seen the likes of before!" said Jack in annoyance.

"Plus, we've still got our hands full getting that virus out of the security system." said Jo. "Those guys wanted the mask real bad.".

"I think I know why." Buckaroo said. "Something tells me Brock may need our help. I'll get in touch with the guys.".

---

The Utopia, Wayfarer, Asp, Destroyer, and Terrific pulled up to a tourist station at Lake Anna, Virginia.

"Does anybody see the clue?" asked the Baroness.

"No, and this could take a while." said Lyle.

"Does the clue give any specifics on the location of the next one?" asked Westlake.

"No, it just says to come here." said Ron.

"Howard, maybe you should fly out over there." said Charlie.

"Oh right." said Howard. "If God had meant for ducks to fly, he wouldn't have taken away our wings."

"I'm checking for a chicken restaurant in the area." said Ron as he consulted his cell phone. "We've got a few chain restaurants and other local places, but none of them claim to be the Chicken Capital of the World."

"There's an official." said Joe as he saw a woman. "Maybe she knows what we're looking for."

"Excuse me, miss." said Stella. "We're looking for some place called the Chicken Capital of the World. We were told it was around here."

"We get this a lot." said the woman. "The Chicken Capital of the World is Barberton, Ohio. They also have a Lake Anna."

Stella's eyes widened at the news. "Thank you very much." she said.

"Now, we have to go all the way to Ohio?" asked Left Ear.

"They would do this to us!" yelled Venom.

"I don't believe this!" said Cole.

They got back into their cars and drove off.

---

In Indianapolis, the Yellow Bird was being chased by local law enforcement.

"Hold onto your lunchpails, guys. This could get a bit weird." said C.J. as he steered the yellow Porsche into the parking lot of a local restaurant.

He headed right for a large sign advertising the restaurant's valet parking service.

"You sure you know what you're doing?" asked Tommy.

"Positive, my man!" said C.J.

He hit the sign head on, and caused it to fall over until it was sat on top of the hood of two parked cars, leading up onto them like a ramp.

"Alright. Here we go!" said C.J. as he drove up the impromptu ramp and proceeded to drive the Yellow Bird along the line of car hoods in the packed parking lot.

Claude chuckled to himself and gave a thumbs-up as the Yellow Bird made its escape from the police. A few of the cop cars tried to follow but most of them couldn't make it very far.

"You ever consider becoming a stuntman, C.J?" asked Tommy. "Because that is one of the ballsiest moves I've ever seen."

The Yellow Bird reached the end of its path and dropped back down to steet level. C.J. gave their pursuers the finger and sped off.

A few cop cars had driven around the parking lot and were still pursuing.

Claude indicated them to C.J. who replied "It's okay, don't worry.".

Further down the road, a young Catholic priest slowly drove his Ford Aerostar minivan out of his driveway. He stopped for a second to check that each direction was clear. Satisfied, he smiled and pulled out.

With a screech of tyres, the Yellow Bird suddenly rounded the corner and swerved around the minivan.

The priest stared in shock and crossed himself.

As he prepared to drive again, the police cars rounded the corner and, seeing the minivan blocking the way, slammed on their brakes. Two of them crashed into each other while the third drove into a ditch.

The priest stared in shock.

"I should really get a St. Christopher figurine." he said to himself.

---

The Streetfighter drove towards a small town in Virginia named Taylorsville.

As she approached the entrance to the town, a police car suddenly pulled out and blocked her way.

She grunted and came to a halt.

"Sorry, miss." one of the cops said. "You can't come through here.".

"What? I wasn't speeding." Priss complained.

"It's the law here in Taylorsville. Motorcycles aren't allowed. They cause too many accidents." the other cop said. "You'll have to take a detour on Route 11.".

Priss checked the GPS built into the Streetfighter.

"That'll take me ten miles out of my way!" she said.

"Sorry but that's the way it is." the first cop said.

"Says who?" Priss asked indignantly.

"Our sheriff." said the second cop as he pointed to a nearby billboard.

It showed a picture of a stern-looking man with grey hair, a beard and a moustache wearing a straw hat with a Sheriff's badge attached to the front. Priss recognised him as LaFours, once the most feared mall security guard in the business.

The slogan on the billboard said "Re-elect Sheriff LaFours: Do The Crime and you WILL do the time!".

"It's his re-election parade today." the second officer said. "So you bet he won't be thrilled at someone breaking the law in HIS town today.".

"And why exactly should I be scared of him?" Priss asked as she put her hands on her hips.

"Because when he was just a rent-a-cop, ALL his collars were successfully convicted." The first officer said. "He had two kills to his name as well. Now that he's a proper cop, you can bet he still takes no shit from anyone.".

"So we think you should just take the detour." the second officer said.

"Now wait just a minute..." Priss began.

"Look, lady, you wanna get busted? Huh?" the first cop said as he held up a pair of handcuffs to prove he wasn't kidding.

Priss huffed to herself and turned the Streetfighter around.

The two cops smiled in satisfaction and got back in their squad car.

When Priss had got far enough down the road, she turned her bike back around and revved up the engine. She quickly got on the radio to Race Central.

"Hi, Priss. What's up?" Misty asked.

"I'm about to run a little protest about a stupid law in Virginia. Can you provide some appropriate music?" Priss asked with a smile on her face.

"Certainly, Priss. Pink is gonna start it right now!" said Veronica as Pink took the stage.

"Give 'em hell, Priss!" said Pink as she started the song.

Priss took off and roared along a small dirt road which bypassed the speed trap and entered the town as the two police officers were caught off guard by her surprise entrance.

I wear a disguise.
I'm just your average Jane.
The super doesn't stand for model.
But that doesn't mean I'm plain.
If all you see is how I look,
You miss the super chick within.
And I christen you Titanic.
underestimate and swim.

As the cop car went after Priss, she took a hard left past a stalled pick-up truck and passed it. She then blew through the frame of a barn that was under construction as the cops tried to catch up.

I've got the rifle, gonna be myself.
I've got the rifle, gonna be myself.
I've got the rifle, gonna be myself.
I've got the rifle, gonna be myself.

As the cop car got a bit closer, Priss roared down to the bank of a small lake in the middle of the town. There was a mound of dirt from where some new sewage pipes were being laid. Priss hit the mound at high speed and used it as a makeshift ramp to successfully jump the lake, leaving the squad car to take the long way round.

And I'll be everything that I wanna be.
I am confidence in insecurity.
I am a voice yet waiting to be heard.
I'll shoot the shot, bang, that you hear round the world.

And I'm a one girl revolution.
I'm a one girl revolution.
I'm a one girl revolution.

Priss rode towards the centre of the town where the parade was going on. A few more cop cars had joined the chase as Priss took care to avoid hitting anyone.

Some people see the revolution but most only see the girl.
I can lose my hard earned freedom if my fear defines my world.
I declare my independence from the critics and their stones.
I can find my revolution I can learn to stand alone...

As Priss outmanouevered some traffic and some more cop cars, a flatbed truck suddenly pulled out. Nearby, she had spotted some planks of wood set out for construction, including one that was like a ramp.

She quickly rode up it and jumped the flatbed with no problems.

And I'll be everything that I want to be.
I am confidence in insecurity.
I am a voice yet waiting to be heard.
I'll shoot the shot, bang, that you hear round the world...

And I'm a one girl revolution.
I'm a one girl revolution.
I'm a one girl revolution.

At his podium in front of the Town Hall, LaFours had heard the reports of what was going on, and was enraged at Priss' defiance of his law on his special day. He saw Priss ride past Town Hall and turn a hard right, avoiding some more of his officers.

"That must be one of those Cannonballers." a nearby local remarked.

LaFours narrowed his eyes and let out a little growl. He then silently left the podium, put his hat on and headed for the Sheriff's office, taking out his car keys as he did.

(And I'm a one girl revolution.
I'm a one girl revolution.
And I'm a one girl revolution)

As Priss mounted the pavement after making another sharp turn, she crashed through a hot dog stand and wrecked it. As the vendor shook his fist angrily at her, she kept going and rode the Streetfighter up a fire escape at the side of a large garage. As she leaped the bike from the first storey catwalk, she landed on a truck's box trailer.

She smirked to herself and jumped the Streetfighter across the gap and onto a second box trailer.

"Come and get me, losers!" She yelled to the pursuing cops as she jumped the Streetfighter back to street level.

And I'll be everything that I wanna be.
I am confidence in insecurity.
I am a voice yet waiting to be heard.
I'll shoot the shot, bang, that you hear round the world.

As Priss neared the road out of town, two squad cars tried to block her exit. She clenched her teeth and successfully cleared the narrow gap between the two cars and rode up onto the pavement and, as a final insult, popped a wheelie and rode the length of the pavement.

As the pavement curved upwards at the end, she jumped another flatbed truck which was entering the town and cleared it.

She turned around, blew a kiss at the angry cops and rode off at high speed.

Everything that I want to be.
I am confidence in insecurity.
I am a voice yet waiting to be heard.
I'll shoot the shot, bang, that you hear round the world.

And I'm a one girl revolution.
I'm a one girl revolution.

'One Girl Revolution' by Superchick.

The cops angily glared after Priss.

"Can't we go after her?" one cop asked.

"At THAT speed she'll be across the county line in twenty minutes. We couldn't catch her by then." his partner replied.

Suddenly, a horn honked and a green Dodge Super Bee with a police siren attached to the roof roared past them. Inside was LaFours. The Dodge was his own car, called the Opus. It had been of great service to him in nailing speeders and he now intended to use it to catch Priss.

"Sheriff! You're heading out of your jurisdiction! The state police will kill you!" one cop yelled after him.

LaFours, as ever, remained silent and kept his eyes on the road ahead of him, and on his high speed prey.

As Priss drove towards the county line, she got back on the radio.

"Thanks for the song, Pink. Though did you have to use one from 'Legally Blonde'?" she asked mischeviously.

"It's a great female power song." Pink said. "And anyway, how did YOU know it was in 'Legally Blonde'?" Pink then added, raising an eyebrow.

A little sweat drop appeared pn Priss' face.

"I lost a bet with Nene and she made me watch it." Priss said sheepishly.

"Yeah, right." Pink said mischeviously.

Priss sped off towards the county line, not knowing that LaFours was now on her trail, and the trail of any other Cannonballers he could catch.

---

Outside the city of Columbus, Ohio, local police sergeants Carey Mahoney and Larvelle Jones sat in their squad car, drinking coffee.

Jones mimicked the sound of a Jimi Hendrix guitar solo as Mahoney yawned.

"Unbelieveable." said Mahoney. "Even with Captain Harris retired, this job still has off days."

Jones stopped making his noise and said "Hey, relax. I'm sure someone will turn up speeding, especially during the Cannonball.".

"Why Brock couldn't have asked us to be security this year I don't know." said Mahoney.

Suddenly, both heard the sound of a car engine approaching at high speed.

"At last, some action!" said Mahoney as he put the keys in the ignition of the squad car.

The Kowalski raced by them, with Marge driving like a madwoman.

Jones and Mahoney tossed their coffee cups out of their open windows and sped off after the Simpsons.

Jones turned on the car's roof lights. But, to their surprise, the Kowalski started to slow down and pull off to the side of the road.

"Now, THIS is weird." said Mahoney.

Jones started to sing the theme to 'The Twilight Zone'.

The squad car pulled in behind the Kowalski as it came to a halt.

Mahoney stopped the cruiser and he and Jones got out and approached.

"Well, if it isn't the first family of Cannonball winners." said Mahoney as he smiled at the Simpsons.

"Hi, Officer Mahoney." said Marge.

"You guys lookin' to pull off the big win again?" asked Jones. "Just that most of the Academy placed bets on you.".

"Oh, thanks. That makes me feel much easier." said Homer sarcastically.

"Homer, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." said Marge.

"That was said by some schmuck who couldn't think up a witty comeback." said Bart.

"Okay, since you guys are friends of ours, I guess we can afford to let this little infraction slide." said Mahoney, indicating their lonely environs. "Not like there were any witnesses.".

"But why did you pull over so soon, Mrs. S?" asked Jones.

"How long were you guys waiting there to pull someone over?" Marge asked.

A bit confused, Mahoney and Jones looked at their watches.

"About two and a half hours at least." Jones said.

"Well, I got here as fast as I could." Marge said apologetically.

"Huh?" asked Mahoney.

"I feel really sorry for speedtrap cops who are stuck for hours, bored out of their minds." Marge said. "So I did that out of kindness."

Mahoney smirked and Jones made a musical 'wah, wah, wah' sound.

"I can see now why your show is the longest running of its kind." said Mahoney.

"Okay, on your way. And good luck in the Cannonball." said Jones.

"Okay." said Marge as she sped off.

---

Somewhere else in Columbus, the Reckless had broken down in a tough neighbourhood. Kelso had accidentally driven over a broken bottle that someone had left in the street when he tried to park.

Fez, Hyde, and Eric all glared at him.

"I swear, I didn't see it there!" Kelso protested. "You think I WANT to put us out of the race?".

"Never mind that now. I'll take care of this." said Eric as he activated the monitor screen on their windshield and searched through the Columbus phone book's website.

"Cool!" said Hyde. "This is some real 'Star Trek' stuff!".

"I thought it was more 'Star Wars'." commented Kelso.

"Well, one of the two." Fez said. "If only my country could develop this kind of thing.".

"What did Lola and Shavers say this thing was called?" asked Kelso.

"The Internet, I think." replied Eric. "Must be new.".

"It'll never catch on." said Kelso. "Next, they'll say that cassette tapes will become obsolete.".

"Ah! Found it!" said Forman as he found details of a nearby mechanic. He picked up the phone on the dashboard and dialled the number.

"Hello?" he asked. "Is this Hickman & Davison's Garage?" he asked. "Good. Listen, do you make out of office calls?" he asked. "Our car has had a flat in Bailey Avenue and we need a replacement right away." he said. "You do? That's great." he said. "It's a Dodge Charger Super Bee and we're outside this local bar."

The other members of the team looked across and saw the bar.

"Hey, maybe we can have a drink while we're waiting." said Kelso.

"Yeah, we could use a little R&R." Hyde said.

"Shhh, a minute guys." said Eric as he continued to listen on the phone. "We can go in there and wait for you there if that's okay." he said. "It is? That's great." he said. "It's the..."

He looked out at the bar name and looked a bit confused.

"...Blue Oyster Bar." he finished. "Okay. That's fine. See ya.".

---

Team Chaos had made a stop in Barberton, Ohio. Brodie wanted to show his cousin Scott, a local football captain, the Chaos mask and congratulate the Barberton Magics on winning the infamous Barberton Bell Game against the Cuyahoga Falls Black Tigers. This was an amazing and rare feat for Barberton, as they rarely won a football game, let alone the Bell Game. The team celebrated their victory at the Barberton Chicken restaurant that won Food Network's Food Feuds, Belgrades.

"Good job, Scott!" Brodie said. "I knew you could do it!"

"Thanks!" Scott said. "We might make it to the state finals this year!"

"Good luck with that, because the season just started."

Elsewhere Team Red Ranger was just finishing their meals. Mack paid the team's bill at the cash register.

"Thank you and good night, gentlemen." said the hostess.

"Goodnight!" Nick said.

As they walked to the Red Fury, the three Pollution Ministers appeared.

"(This is as far as you go... American Super Squadron!)" Yogostein said.

"Who are you and what language are you talking in?" Nick asked.

Mack knew what they were saying. "That was Japanese and I think they called us American Super Squadron. In other words these guys have met our Japanese counterparts!"

"(Not your respective counterparts but the counterpart to your previous RPM counterparts.)" Yogostein explained. "(The dried cracked ground... I am Land Pollution Minister Yogostein!)"

"(The muddied and fetid waters... I am Water Pollution Minister Kegalesia!)" Kegalesia said.

"(The darkended skies... I am Air Pollution Minister Kitaneidas!)" Kitaneidas said.

"It's morphin' time guys!" Mack shouted. He pulled out his Overdrive morpher from its case on his belt. Then he ran the compass on the bottom along his arm. "Overdrive! Accelerate!"

Casey put on a pair of red framed sunglasses before doing a special kata. "Jungle beast! Spirit unleashed!"

Nick pulled out a cell phone morpher and entered 1-2-3 on the numeric keypad. "Magical Source! Mystic Force!"

"GALWIT MYSTO RANGER!" came a onimous voice, as Nick morphed into the Red Mystice Ranger. Casey morphed into the Red Jungle Fury Ranger as Mack morphed into the Red Overdrive Ranger.

"Tiger Spirit!" Casey cried out, as a red spectral tiger came out of his two hands. The tiger spirit attacked Yogostein and started mauling him to pieces.

"(Oh Buddha! This hurts! Someone save me! Buddha help me!)" Yogostein shouted as metal pieces and motor oil went flying everywhere. Captain Chaos rushed out and attacked a screaming Kitaneidas and Kegalesia.

"Don't worry Power Rangers!" Chaos said. "I shall aid you in beating these vile villains and chasing them away!"

"Get them Captain Chaos!" Nick said. Mack and Nick joined in and attacked Kegalesia and Kitaneidas respectively. Within a few secons, the Pollution Ministers were defeated.

"Now THAT is an ass whooping!" Silent Bob said.

As the sound of police sirens was heard, the Pollution Ministers got up and got ready to make their escape.

"(You haven't heard the last of us, Cannonballers!)" Yogostein yelled.

---

Eric and his friends walked into the Blue Oyster Bar.

"Yeah, this looks like a decent place to hang out until the mechanic arrives." said Hyde.

"Let's hope he gets here soon." said Eric. "We're in danger of losing positions."

"I'm hitting the dance floor." said Kelso.

Eric, Hyde, and Fez all sat at the bar. A news story played on the television.

"An escaped mental patient took to the sidewalks of Las Cruces, New Mexico yesterday." said the reporter. "Fortunately, his car was disabled by unknown persons before he could inflict any serious injury. Police are still looking into..."

Another patron walked over to Eric. "Better be careful." he said. "I once saw a guy meet with someone in a bar and shoot him with a laser gun."

"'Star Wars'." said Eric. "Are you planning to see the updated versions?"

"Is Soylent Green people?" asked the patron. "Heck, yeah."

"You know, I could pick up any girl in this joint." said Fez.

"Oh yeah?" asked Hyde. "How you gonna do that?"

"I'll just turn on the charm and push the accent for all it's worth." said Fez. "It works all the time back in Wisconsin."

"Okay, let's see it." said Hyde.

"As soon as a girl comes in." said Fez.

They looked around.

"Not too many girls around, are there?" said Fez.

"No, it couldn't be." said Hyde.

"And if you rewatch the scene with the stormtroopers marching into the room," said Eric "you can actually see one of them hit his head on the overhead door."

"Look, I'm obviously not getting anywhere hinting at it." said the patron "So, I guess I'll have to be direct. Will you sleep with me?"

"What? No!" said Eric. "I have a girlfriend!"

"Then why did you spend all this time talking with me?" asked the patron.

"I just really like talking about 'Star Wars'." said Eric.

"Unbelievable." said the patron. He got up and walked away.

"We'll always have 'Star Wars'." said Eric.

"Star Trek's better!" yelled the patron as he left.

"Man, what's his problem?" asked Eric. "Why did he think this was the place to pick up a gay lover?"

"Forman, you can't honestly be that dense." said Hyde. "Take a look around. Tell me what you see."

"Okay, but I..." said Eric. He looked around the room.

He saw two men dancing seductively. He saw a man coming onto the patron he talked to before. He saw one man inspecting the head of another man.

"Oh my God!" yelled Eric. "This is a gay bar!"

"Not so loud." muttered Fez.

A mechanic walked into the bar. "Excuse me, I'm here for the Charger." he announced.

"That's us." said Eric. He, Hyde, and Fez ran for the door.

"Wait, where's Kelso?" asked Fez.

Kelso was on the dance floor with a pair of bikers. "I didn't know bikers liked disco!" he said.

Hyde ran over to him, grabbed him by the ear, and dragged him out the door.

---

The Wisdom entered Barberton, Ohio.

"I'm checking Wikipedia, but all I'm getting is Lake Anna, Virginia." said Bella.

"It turns out there's also a Lake Anna in Barberton as well." said Mortimer. "It's right in the center of town."

"We're almost there." said Bob.

They pulled into a parking lot near Lake Anna...in Barberton, not Virginia. They climbed out.

"See the clue?" asked Mortimer.

"I don't think we can miss it." said Bob as he looked into the lake and saw a sign reading "Welcome, Cannonballers" on a rowboat.

"I see the clue on the boat." said Mortimer.

"How do we get out there?" asked Bella.

"I guess we swim." said Bob. He walked over to the lake and dove in.

"I see Bob went to La Fiesta Tech." said Mortimer. "They have a wonderful swimming team."

"I hope he kept up practice." said Bella.

"Why is that?" asked Mortimer.

"Because here comes our competition." said Bella.

The other entrants in the puzzlehunt raced into the parking lot, parked, and exited their vehicles.

Joe tumbled out of the Asp and landed on his hands and knees.

"Sorry about that, Joe." said Cole.

"Don't worry about it, Cole." said Joe. "Just try not to go so fast through West Virginia next time. You know how this thing is on mountain roads."

"There it is!" yelled the Drake.

"Let's get it!" yelled Charlie.

They ran to the shore of the lake where a park official waved at Bob and yelled. "Sir, there's no swimming allowed in this lake! People have RELIEVED themselves in that water! You could get an infection!"

"On that note, where are the boats?" asked Destro.

"Over there." said the official.

The racers ran over to the boats and started to get into them. Meanwhile, Bob had made it to the rowboat and grabbed a clue envelope. He gripped it between his teeth and swam back to shore.

"Some people." said Howard. "It's guys like him that make me glad I'm not a mammal."

Bob climbed back onto shore and took the clue out of his mouth. He handed it to Mortimer as the official came over and started to write him a citation.

"What does it say?" asked Bella.

"It says we have to find a place in New York City...that's not in America?" said Mortimer.

"How can something in New York City not be in America?" asked Bella. "New York City is in America."

"This might help." said Mortimer. "It says we have to find the reason vehicle-mounted weapons were banned two years ago."

"I'm sure we can manage that." said Bella.

"Bob, there's a towel in the van." said Mortimer. "We have to go to New York City."

Bob took his citation and said "Coming."

---

On a highway leading to Phildelphia in Pennsylvania, the Squalo was being chased by the Starbreaker and the Aggressor, with the assistance of some local law enforcement.

"You're cutting this very close, Agent Banner." said one high-ranking state officer over the radio. "In another six miles, they'll be out of our jurisdiction.".

"Well, we're gonna stay in pursuit until we catch 'em!" yelled Banner. "Punch it, Bender!".

"I'm punching it!" replied Bender as he kept his foot to the floor.

Over the radio, Junior said "It's incredible that a 'Cuda can stay ahead of an exotic and a tuner.".

"Probably got God-knows-what under the hood." said Roscoe.

Jack drove for all he was worth. "If only we had the same equipment in this car like we had on that jet in India.".

"Wouldn't that be a bit excessive?" asked Joan. "Don't worry. All we have to do is reach the county line and then we lose the local yokels.".

"Yeah, but the fed and his unit will keep after us." said Ralph.

"As you can see yourself, Ralph, with this car, I leave my tyre marks all over their teeth!" said Jack as he activated a quick boost of NOS and shot ahead.

Banner saw the Squalo accelerate, but laughed. He picked up the radio and spoke into it. "Willenholly, Amos, you guys ready at the county line?"

"Roger and wilco, chief." said Willenholly over the radio.

Up at the county line, the Nightcrawler was parked with some more local police cars and had completely blocked the road leading out of the jurisdiction.

The Cannonball task force officers and the local cops all raised shotguns as they heard the roar of the engines approaching.

In the Squalo, Team Colton cheered as they sped along, getting nearer to losing most of their pusuers.

"I love this race!" said Jack. "Whoever said I'm too old to do this stuff again?"

"Hey, is there a place in Philly we can stop for lunch?" asked Ralph.

"Lunch? You gotta be kidding! Lunch is for wimps!" replied Joan.

Jack gave her an odd look. Jack turned back to look at the road and quickly slammed on the brakes when he saw the roadblock.

Willenholly and Amos smiled as the Squalo came to a halt about thirty feet from the roadblock.

"Got 'em, Agent Banner." said Amos into his radio.

"Roger. We've got the back door." said Bender and the other task force agents and local officers came into view and blocked the Squalo's exit.

Ralph took off his hat and hit it against the seat in frustration.

"Darn! Heck! H-E-double L!" he said "And believe me, I'm struggling hard not to use more colourful metaphors!"

"Don't worry! I think I have an idea!" said Joan.

"A real Angelina and Jesse idea?" asked Jack.

"Not quite." said Joan. "But I'd say it's adequate.".

She leaned over and detailed her plan to Jack.

The cops watched the car, waiting to see what would happen next. A couple of them chambered their shotguns for effect.

"We have them trapped, guys." said Banner. "Just give 'em a few seconds and they'll acknowledge that fact.".

"Sir, what about that possible escape route overland?" asked Junior as he saw that there was indeed a lay-by near the rear roadblock that would allow the Squalo to slip past them.

"They'd have to be crazy to try that." said Banner. "Besides, we've got the guns and they don't.".

"Okay! I'm going for it!" said Jack as he got back on the accelerator and peeled out. Just a few seconds before he hit the front roadblock, he performed a bootlegger and rushed towards the rear block.

"He's trying it, sir!" said Junior.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" snapped Bender as he took out his revolver and leaned out the Starbreaker's window.

As the Squalo sped towards the lay-by to slip past the block, Bender fired a couple of shots. Both hit the hood of the Squalo but the engine wasn't damaged.

"Adios, losers!" yelled Ralph as the Squalo slipped into the lay-by and breezed past the roadblock.

"Get after them, everybody! GO! GO!" yelled Banner as the task force members and cops headed back to their cars.

The group in Banner's block turned their cars around to chase after the Squalo as it headed back the way it came from and the officers in Willenholly's block followed them.

"I don't know what he's trying!" said Bender. "This is the only road around here. There are no short cuts that I know of!".

"That's why I'm going to be glad when we nail these morons!" said Banner. "We can add a juicy charge of resisting arrest to the rap sheet!"

As the police vehicles sped along the route, they passed a large black diesel truck which was heading the other way.

Had they paid the vehicle more mind, they would have noticed that on the truck's right side, hidden from the cops' view by the cab and trailer, was the Squalo, now heading back for the county line.

"Thanks a lot, cowboy!" said Jack to the truck driver by way of the CB. "We owe you a big one."

"Hey, I'd bo anything for my favorite author. I see you saw that that's why I honked my horn at ya before those smokies showed up." said the trucker as he winked at Joan.

"Thanks." said Joan as she smiled. "But don't forget, I'm happily married."

"Hell, ma'am. Meeting your own real life match made your books even better!" the trucker said. He then looked at Jack and said "County line's coming up, Mr. Cannonballer. So you just keep your tyres off the grass and the bears off your ass, and I hope to see you in the winner's circle.".

"10-4, good buddy!" said Jack as he sped on, passing the truck.

---

In Philadelphia, several Cannonballers made their way through the city. Mason and Spike powered down a street, with no police bothering them.

Up ahead of them on the road was Japanese college student and sometime model Mao Shirase, driving a rented Volkswagen Scirocco.

She was very content that she had been able to make it to the US to cheer on the Cannonballers.

"I bet Mirai is as jealous as hell that I get to cheer the racers on before her." she smirked, referring to former Cannonballer Mirai Ozora, a friend/rival of hers. "Then again, if she could only control her urge to overspend, she could afford to travel."

The Road Lord came up alongside her. She noticed Mason and smiled.

"That's one of the racers. And he is SOOO handsome!" she said.

Mason glanced over and saw Mao looking at him. She waved and made a 'kiss' with her mouth.

Mason responded by giving her the finger.

Outraged, Mao took one hand off the Scirocco's steering wheel and prepared to return the gesture, but lost control of the car and swerved off onto the pavement and crashed through the front window of a tyre store. The store's staff came to see if she was okay as the car came to a stop.

"Can I help you, ma'am." asked one staff member naively.

Mao glared at him and gave him the finger.

Back on the road, Spike looked back at the chaos that had been caused.

"Was that really necessary?" he asked. "She was just trying to be friendly."

"As Short Round said, 'Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love'." replied Mason. "We've got a race to concentrate on. Besides, I'd like to think I can do better than some deluded fangirl.".

"You really need to meet Ms. Right someday." said Spike. "I could help you with that if you like.".

"Thanks, buddy. But for now, just keep watch on the systems." said Mason.

---

On the road between Westfield and Union in New Jersey, the Starlight sped along. Despite having been shaken up by the encounter with Charger earlier on, Corvax kept a cool head as he had finished watching the DVD that Meteor Man had given him.

"Interesting techniques on that DVD." he said. "But I think I've got them all down now. The next time some moron tries something, I'll show them."

Beavis and Butthead looked out the back window as they had sensed that they were being followed. Sure enough, behind them, the Carbon X drove up and prepared to attack them.

"Uh, you just got your wish, Corvax." said Butthead as he saw Turbo and Buttons pull their guns out.

"Come on, cream these fartknockers!" Beavis yelled.

Corvax had a look out his window and saw that they were driving on a road on top of a steep incline.

An idea occured to him.

"Okay, fellas. Hold tight!" he yelled as he quickly turned and started to drive straight down the incline.

"What the..?" Buttons asked.

"Put your seatbelt on! I'm goin' after him!" Turbo said as he followed the Starlight down the long, grassy incline.

Despite the steepness of the hillside and its long length, Corvax handled the ride down very smoothly and kept calm the whole time.

Behind them, the Carbon X also drove down the hillside fast but Turbo had difficulty keeping the car under control.

"Easy! Easy!" shouted Buttons.

"Aw, shut up! I can handle it!" said Turbo as the Carbon X nearly flipped over at one point.

"Are they still after us?" asked Corvax as he kept his eyes ahead of himself.

"I think we're gonna lose 'em any minute now." Butthead smirked.

Sure enough, in his rush to catch up with the Starlight, Turbo drove off the end of a small ledge jutting out on the hillside and landed the Carbon X on its nose. This finally caused the car to flip over and start rolling down what was left of the hillside.

The Starlight had reached the bottom safely and Corvax honked the horn and drove off.

"YEAH, THAT RULED!" Beavis yelled as he made some heavy metal guitar noises.

"Adios, ass goblins!" Butthead said as he gave the finger out of the Starlight's back window.

The crumpled remains of the Carbon X finally came to a halt at the bottom of the hillside and the doors were kicked open as a battered Turbo and Buttons climbed out.

"You idiot!" snapped Buttons at Turbo. "You just couldn't leave it, could you? You know, sooner or later, there's gonna come a wheelman better than you and I hope he leaves treadmarks on your face!".

"Eat it, Buttons!" snapped Turbo. "We'll just get another car, just as good.".

"Just as good?" Buttons said. "It better be a lot better if we're gonna stop this race! Now, let Big Boss know about this! He's used to us failing so hopefully he won't be too pissed off."

"I doubt it." Turbo grumbled.

---

Meanwhile, on a long stretch of road coming into Newark, the Jawbreaker chased the Avenger. Frank was keeping ahead of Bullock and Montoya, but only by the skin of his teeth.

"This is it! We're gonna take this guy down!" Bullock yelled as he pushed the Jawbreaker even further.

"Harvey, I think you need to slow down!" Montoya said in worry as she heard a weird noise from the engine.

"Ain't no way!" Bullock replied. "I don't care if we fry the engine! We're gonna get Castle's vigilante ass and lock him up for a hundred years!".

As Frank got a fraction of a lead on the Jawbreaker, he quickly maneuvered around a road construction sign and a bunch of hazard cones at one side of the road. As the Jawbreaker approached them, Harvey suddenly lost control of the Jawbreaker and it started to spin out.

Tne black GT crashed into the sign and came to a complete halt as Frank sped off.

"SHIT!" Harvey yelled.

"I told you you should have slowed down!" Montoya said.

Harvey then looked a bit spooked. "It was the Jawbreaker! It rebelled on me!".

"What?" Montoya said, confused.

"I was handling it fine until I said I didn't care if we fried the engine." Harvey continued. "When I said that, the car got angry and turned against me! Just like the car in that Stephen King book or that Japanese street racer cartoon!".

"Harvey, do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds?" Montoya said. "Cars aren't living things.".

They heard a horn honk and saw Herbie speed past them, doing one of his famous back-wheel wheelies as Mickey sat with his feet up on the dashboard and his hands behind his head.

"You were saying?" Harvey asked.

---

In Newark itself, Bullseye flew the Air Raid chopper just looking over some details he had been sent by Bulletproof.

"So this is the plate of the car that attacked Tanner a while back?" he asked Bulletproof over the radio.

"That's affirmative, Bullseye." replied Bulletproof. "It's a red Eldorado. Keep your eyes peeled for it as we believe that Yuri may be one of the passengers.".

"Roger that, Bulletproof." Bullseye said as he signed off.

He took a look out the window of his cockpit and spotted the Shogun driving through the streets of Newark.

"Hmmm. I wonder." he thought to himself.

He engaged Whisper Mode on the Air Raid which made it hard to hear the chopper's sounds and flew down a bit, making sure to keep his distance as his scanner ran the plates on the Shogun.

"Bah! This is ridiculous!" snapped Yuri as he turned off their communicator. "Big Boss tells me that most of our troops have had their rear-ends handed to them by the Cannonballers.".

"Well, on the other hand, it proves the Cannonballers are tough cookies and that they'd be good to have in your army." Mr. Chairman commented.

Yuri nodded thoughtfully. "I guess there is that." He suddenly frowned.

"What is it?" asked Mr. Chairman.

"I'm sensing someone very excited nearby." Yuri replied.

The excited person was Bullseye. The Air Raid's computer confirmed that the Shogun was the same vehicle that had attacked Tanner's and Kang's teams and Bullseye engaged its siren and started to swoop down on it.

"You in that Eldorado! You're under arrest! Stop immediately!" Bullseye yelled over the loudspeaker. "You have nowhere to run!".

"Damn it all!" yelled Yuri.

"Hold on! I know this city very well!" said Mr. Chairman as he turned off the street and drove down an alleyway.

Bullseye kept the Air Raid on their tail as Mr. Chairman weaved the Shogun around the alleyways of the city.

Eventually, the Shogun came to a stop inside a warehouse alongside a railroad track near the edge of town.

Bullseye hovered the chopper over the warehouse.

"What are they up to?" Bullseye queried to himself.

Inside the warehouse, Yuri and Mr. Chairman headed towards a cargo entrance overlooking the railroad.

"Now what?" Yuri asked as Mr. Chairman checked his watch.

"Just about...NOW!" Mr. Chairman said.

Sure enough, a cargo train came around the corner and passed by the warehouse.

"JUMP!" Mr. Chairman yelled.

He and Yuri both jumped off the ledge and into an open box car on the train.

As soon as they were sure they were safe, they dusted themselves off.

"Fancy seeing you here." a female voice said.

They looked around and saw Stingray, looking a bit worse for wear, was in the box car too.

"Stingray? How did you get here?" asked Yuri.

"I've been hopping on and off trucks and trains for most of the day, trying to get somewhere I can get a decent car." she grumbled. "I take it you had trouble as well."

"Yeah, but hopefully just temporary." said Mr. Chairman. "This train goes to New York. Hopefully, some of the others can take out the Cannonballers before they reach it.".

"I heard that AMX and Camaro were near there." said Yuri. "I hope those morons can pull it off.".

In the Air Raid, Bullseye reported what had happened to Bulletproof.

"Don't worry, Bullseye. I'm sure we'll get 'em soon enough." Bulletproof said. "I haven't heard from Highway in a while. I guess things are going smooth on his end.".

"We can but hope." Bullseye replied.

---

Highway drove his turbocycle down the road towards New York. Up ahead in the road, he noticed Camaro, AMX and a couple of Wasp droids standing near a pair of pick-up trucks, which they had put there to block the road.

"Hello, what's this about?" he said to himself as he slowed down.

Camaro and AMX both held AK47s and had their helmets on.

"We've been here nearly an hour." AMX said. "Can't we take a break, Camaro?"

"Hey, Mastermind's already pissed with us for failing to take out the racers earlier." said Camaro. "We've got to take care of them when they come this way."

"Heads up." Said AMX as he saw Highway approach. He and Camaro quickly hid their guns.

"Excuse me gentlemen." said Highway as he brought his cycle to a halt. "Is there a problem here?"

"Oh, no problem officer." said AMX. "We're just waiting on some Cannonballers."

"You dumb shit!" yelled Camaro. "Why'd you tell him that?"

"Hey, he's a cop. He'll probably be glad some law abiding citizens want to help him out with stopping the race." replied AMX.

Highway looked concerned but kept up his facade. "Oh, yes I am pleased but I hope you don't intend to use lethal force."

AMX started laughing uncontrollably. Camaro rolled his eyes, but Highway couldn't see that through the visor of Camaro's helmet.

"You needn't concern yourself, Officer." he said. "Everything will be okay."

"Right. I'll see you around." said Highway as he turned his cycle around and headed back the way he had come from.

As he went, he thought to himself. "The Cannonballers need to be warned about this! I hope I can find some of them. These guys we were warned about are vicious bastards."

He put his foot down and said "Come on, baby, don't let me down."

It wasn't long before he found Lara's team in the Vulcano. He turned on his lights and siren to pull them over.

"Crap, now what?" asked Lara as she pulled over.

Lara and her team got out of the Vulcano and Highway got off his cycle.

"Well, girls. Showtime." said Joanna.

Highway approached the girls as they unzipped their jumpsuits.

"Hello, officer." said Nina. "What seems to be the trouble?"

"Umm..." said Highway as he got a look at her cleavage. "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

"Not really." said Anna. "I'm sure I've got my license in here somewhere."

"Oh, that's okay." said Highway. "Take your time, honey."

"What was that?" asked Lara.

"Uh, nothing." said Highway.

"Well, I know I was going fast." said Lara "I guess I wasn't paying attention to my speed."

"I guess I really can't cite you or anything then." said Highway.

"Why, thank you, officer." said Joanna. "Be sure to stay in touch with us."

"Oh, that's okay." said Highway. "I'll catch you next time you come around this block...block?" He suddenly remembered why he pulled them over in the first place. "Girls, there's a roadblock up ahead!" he said.

"What?" asked Nina.

"Those guys with the tricked-out muscle cars we got the anonymous tip about set up a roadblock up ahead." said Highway. "They're standing guard and are probably armed to the teeth."

"So, you're a protector?" said Nina. "What a waste of a good routine."

The girls zipped up their jumpsuits. Highway let out a little groan of disappointment as they did.

"What do we do about those guys?" asked Anna.

"I don't know." said Highway as the Black Knight pulled up. "Maybe these guys will know."

The Black Knight stopped and Max and Jake climbed out. "What's going on?" asked Max.

"Those guys with the tricked-out muscle cars have set up a roadblock up ahead." said Lara.

"Let us go first." said Jake. "We'll take care of it."

Down the road, Camaro and AMX continued to watch the road. "I'm telling you that snail crossed the road in the time we've been out here." said Camaro.

"Wait, do you hear something?" asked AMX.

The Black Knight's engine was heard. AMX and Camaro raised their guns.

The Black Knight raced over the rise with the Vulcano right behind it.

"Aw, shit! It's that asshole again!" yelled Camaro.

"Let him have it anyway!" said AMX.

The WASPs, Camaro and AMX opened fire on the Black Knight.

The bullets just harmlessly deflected off of the Black Knight as it raced towards them. At the last second, Camaro and AMX jumped out of the way just before the Black Knight tore right through the pick-ups and the WASPs standing near them, reducing them to flaming wrecks.

Camaro and AMX looked on helplessly as the Vulcano and the Turbo Cycle raced through the roadblock after the Black Knight.

"GODDAMN IT!" yelled Camaro.

"Thank God we didn't use our field vehicles." Said AMX. "I'll call the others and try and work something out."

---

In a house somewhere in the San Fernando Valley, a blonde-haired woman flicked through channels on her TV when she came across the latest news feed from Cannonball Race Central.

"The Cannonballers are now going through New York City. And we have a special team of reporters live on the scene with some people who have turned out to show their appreciation." Veronica announced.

"So, here, live from the Big Apple are Jay Leno, Tyra Banks and Christian Amanpour." said Ron as the feed switched to show the scene in New York.

Jay, Tyra, and Christian addressed the camera in the middle of a huge turnout of street racers from New York. The area was packed with cars and motorcycles.

"Thank you very much, guys. The scene is wild here in New York." Jay announced. "As you can see, just about every NYC street racer has turned out to cheer on their heroes. And just about every vehicle type used in a race is represented here.".

"You got that right, Jay." said Tyra as she pointed to show a group of tuner cars and American muscle cars parked nearby. "Right over there, we have the Unbeatable Street Racers club, right next to the American Royalty club. Despite the normal rivalry between muscle cars and imports, these guys are now united in their support of the Worldwide Cannonball. Something you certainly don't see every day.".

"And that's by no means all." said Christian as she pointed out the motorcycle racers. "Over there we have the sports bike club, the Original Riders, rubbing shoulders with the Harley riding hellraisers known as the Choppers of America club. And beyond that, the SUV-driving Big Playaz hanging out with the BMW and Chrysler favouring Luxury Rollers club. And to cap it all off, there's the Exotic car club By Invitation Only. I bet no car fanatic ever in their wildest dreams imagined all these clubs would meet up without tensions."

"They're all united by their support for the Cannonball. Shows you how an event like this can really bring people together." said Jay.

The woman, named Virginia Fairchild, snorted disapprovingly. She knew that not all racing was bad, but was really annoyed when illegality was promoted as if it were glamourous. That was just the problem she had with a certain parolee she had to keep her eyes on. She'd been wondering why she hadn't heard from him recently.

On screen, the reporters heard a horn and saw the Rumor coming though the middle of the meeting.

"Ah, looks like Team Furious are making their appearance." said Tyra. "You bet that all these talented racers admire a man like Dominic Toretto.".

As that announcement was made, Virginia looked shocked and sat bolt upright. Sure enough, the reporters and their camera came over to the Rumor as it passed and a shot of Dom in the drivers' seat was taken. When Dom saw the camera, he quickly turned away, but he had already been seen.

"Yeah, there you have it." said Christian. "L.A.'s reinstated king of the streets Dominic Toretto making his triumphant return. Let's hope he will claim first place in the Cannonball.".

Virginia angrily shut the TV off.

"Dom, you idiot!" she cursed to herself. She was Dom's parole officer, to whom he had tried to keep his involvement with the Cannonball a secret. But now, the truth was out.

"Okay then." she said to herself. "I don't like having to speed, but I guess I have to warm up the Orange Crush."

She exited and locked her house and entered her garage, where an orange 1968 Volkswagen Karmann Ghia sat.

"Okay, baby. Let's go catch us a parole violator. Hope you're up for a trip around the world." she said as she got into the Orange Crush and started it up.

---

Ethan drove the Espion into Brooklyn.

"Who's this guy you're taking us to see?" asked Snake.

"He's an associate of Sam and Max." said Ethan. "You know, those freelance police who entered the race two years ago to retrieve that pink Cosworth."

"Oh yeah." said Snake. "How could I forget? I mean we're talking about a talking dog and a hyperactive rabbit."

"Here's the place." said Ethan as he pulled into an alley next to a store called "Bosco's Inconvenience".

Ethan and Snake walked in and found a heavyset African-American behind the counter.

"Hiya, Bosco." said Ethan. "Sam and Max send their regards."

"Welcome to the place." said Bosco. "I assume you are those two racers they ran against a couple of years ago."

"That's us." said Snake. "What's the deal going on here?"

"Sam and Max wanted to thank you guys for your assistance in their assignment during the race." said Bosco. "So, they set it up that I would offer you guys an exclusive performance upgrade for your car."

"Sounds good." said Ethan. "Whatcha got?"

"Oh, I have the coolest upgrade you'll ever get." said Bosco. "I would like to present to you the Bosco-Tech Electric Supercharger. It's a special forced-induction system that has an integral electric motor. That way, you can run the supercharger completely independent of the crankshaft."

"How much is this going to run?" asked Snake.

"Because you guys came recommended by Sam and Max," said Bosco, "I'm willing to part with the supercharger for a mere hundred thousand dollars."

"A hundred thousand?" yelled Ethan.

"Not a problem." said Snake. He got on his transceiver. "Snake here. We're ready to pick up the supercharger, but he's asking a hundred thousand for it. Okay. Thanks." Snake put away his transceiver. "Check your bank account." he said.

Bosco took out a small computer and checked it. "Oh yeah!" he said. "The hundred grand has safely made it's way to my account. So, where's your car?"

"In the alley." said Ethan.

"Let's go." said Bosco. "This won't take long."

---

At Union Square, Yuri, Mr. Chairman, and Stingray had sneakily gotten off the train they had been riding on since Newark.

"Right, it looks like we've avoided detection. Now all we have to do is find some new cars." Mr. Chairman said.

"Should be no problem." said Stingray. "This city does have street racers after all."

"Well then, let's go and find some." said Yuri.

---

The Aquila had managed to get a lead on the Battle as the Joes and Cobras battled for road supremacy in New York.

As they sped on, Zartan looked curiously over in the direction of Liberty Island while Cobra Commander drove, which surprised both Zartan and Storm Shadow.

"Commander, I'm curious. Did we or did we not try to attack the Statue of Liberty back in 1987?" Zartan asked.

"Why are you asking me? Do you realise exactly how many plots we've attempted over the years, Zartan? I've lost count!" the Commander replied.

"Just that the 'noks keep asking me, but I don't know for sure. They said that in that cartoon show based on our battle against the Joes we did once." said Zartan.

"PAH!" snorted the Commander. "I keep telling you that that wretched kids' show was a poor representation of Cobra! I was made to look like a complete coward! And I obviously was NOT turned into a snake! And furthermore..."

"WATCH IT!" yelled Storm Shadow.

There was suddenly a light bump and the Aquila spun out of control. There was a honk and the Battle overtook them and gained the lead. The Joe team had performed a PIT manouevere while the Commander and Zartan were disracted.

"YOU FOOL, ZARTAN!" yelled the Commander. "We could have beaten the Joes out of the city and YOU bore me to death with trivia about a damn cartoon!".

"I just wanted to know whether or not we attacked the Statue of Liberty!" Zartan protested. "If we haven't, maybe..."

"SHUT UP, ZARTAN!" yelled the Commander. "I'll have Croc Master feed you to his little pets if you don't shut up!".

Rock 'N Roll's face appeared on the comms screen.

"Having a bit of trouble, guys?" he asked mischeviously.

"Nice to know that you idiots can't beat us straight up!" the Commander grumbled.

"I never knew there were any rules. This IS an illegal race after all." Rock 'N Roll laughed.

The Commander snarled and turned the Aquila back on its' course after the Battle.

"COBRAAAAA!" he yelled as he put the hammer down.

---

Meanwhile, the Wisdom drove through the Holland Tunnel.

"Here we are in New York City." said Bob.

"Yes, the location for the last clue of the puzzle hunt." said Mortimer.

"Do you have any idea for what it could be?" asked Bella.

"None." said Mortimer. "What place could be in New York City, but not America?"

"Maybe it's one of the more ethnic neighborhoods." said Bella.

"I'm not so sure." said Mortimer. "The other part of the clue was the reason weapons were banned two years ago."

"That was because of Australia." said Bob. "They asked for the weapons ban due to a fierce battle that took place there."

"So, it's something to do with Australia." said Mortimer.

"That shoots down my theory." said Bella. "I don't know of a Little Australia or Australia Town in New York."

"Could be the embassy." said Bob.

"I don't know if that would go over well with the Australian government." said Mortimer.

"Maybe it's at an Outback Steakhouse." said Bob.

"Which one?" asked Bella. "There must be several in the city."

"Well, other than the embassy, what other representations of Australia are in New York City?" asked Mortimer.

"I don't know." said Bella. "As far as I know, the only other Australian icon in New York City is the flag in front of the United Nations."

"Wait." said Bob. "The United Nations?"

"Yes." said Bella.

"I think I remember something." said Bob. "I seem to recall that the property the United Nations building sits on doesn't belong to the United States, but is in fact neutral to all nations."

"Do you think that could be it?" asked Mortimer.

"It's worth a try." said Bella.

"Good thinking, Bob." said Mortimer.

"Yeah, let's see the other guys do that." said Bob.

In the Asp...

"The United Nations." said Joe as he used the computer.

In the Utopia...

"Aha, the United Nations." said Ron as he checked Wikipedia on his cell phone.

"Nice work." said the Drake.

"Don't rely on that thing so much." said Venom. "It's gonna get you into trouble one of these days."

---

Elsewhere in New York, the Clover had a bit of trouble with traffic. Luckily, Denis had a plan.

"Yeah, guys, I know it could cause trouble but you DID say you'd do me a favour." he said into a cell phone. "I'll give you five hundred grand if you can pull it off. You will? Okay, bye."

He hung up the phone and he and Dane waited a few minutes. They then heard the sound of a firetruck's siren and saw one pull out of a sidestreet with traffic moving out of the way to let it through.

Denis laughed to himself and followed close behind the firetruck and negotiating the infamous New York traffic with little problems.

"Shocking abuse of your influence with the New York Fire Department, Denis." Dane said mischeviously. "But it works, so I'll go with it.".

"Glad you approve." said Denis. "Pity we can't stop. I'd have loved to give Conan a visit.".

"Conan O'Brien?" asked Dane. "He's your cousin, isn't he?".

"That's a roger." said Denis.

"Well, maybe we could stop off at his place and get him to come with us." Dane suggested. "I know he's got a new show now, but I think he'd be a great guy to take on the Cannonball."

Denis snorted through his nose. "Yeah, right!" he said sarcastically.

"Why wouldn't he?" Dane protested.

"Dane, Conan's vehicle of choice is the Taurus SHO. Need I say more?" Denis replied.

---

In the alleyway, Ethan and Snake leaned against the wall while Bosco installed the supercharger in the Espion.

Ethan checked his watch. "I hope we can make up the ten minutes we just lost." he said.

"Oh, you'll make it up and more." said Bosco. "The operation is finished. Come check it out."

Ethan and Snake walked over and looked into the Espion's engine bay. A plastic red canister now sat off to the side.

"Doesn't look all that impressive." said Snake. "I hope it performs much better."

"Why does it say 'Dirt Devil' on it?" asked Ethan. "Wait a minute. Is that a vacuum cleaner?"

"But it works. Trust me, trust me." said Bosco. "Just push that button and you are long gone. Well, good luck, guys."

As Bosco walked away, Ethan said "I think we've been had."

He and Snake climbed back into the car and drove out of the alley.

Does this thing even work?" asked Snake.

"Might as well find out." said Ethan. He pushed the button and the Espion rocketed down the street. The inertia pushed the two back into their seats.

"Wow!" said Snake. "That's some kick!"

---

On the Lower East Side, a street race was just coming to its conclusion. Taking the lead was a red 2008 Tesla Roadster. In second place was a blue '89 Camaro and bringing up the rear was a red and white '57 Corvette. There was no huge audience for the race as it was just a brief race to see whose car was the best.

The Corvette and the Tesla pulled over to the side of the street while the Camaro pulled to a halt nearby.

The driver of the Tesla got out and whooped to himself.

"Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about!" he said.

The Corvette's driver came over to congratulate him. "You did great, man! I'm just glad we weren't racin' for money or slips." he said.

"Hey, buddy! Why don't you come over here and congratulate a brother?" the Tesla driver called over to the Camaro.

The Camaro's doors opened and out of it climbed a slighty overweight man with a moustache and brownish-blonde hair and a thinner man with black hair and a pair of glasses. Both wore trenchcoats.

"Got a little surprise for you jerkoffs." said the overweight man. Both he and his friend opened their trenchcoats to reveal police uniforms and drew their sidearms.

"Aw shit!" the Tesla driver and the Corvette driver cursed to themselves. The Camaro's drivers were local police officers Slater and Michaels.

"That's right, pally!" said Slater, the bespectacled one. "Prepare to be screwed by the long dick of the law!".

"We're assuming you guys also have guns and crack!" said Michaels, the pudgy one.

"Hey, yo man, this is entrapment!" the Tesla driver protested as Michaels folded his hands behind his back and cuffed him. Slater did the same to the Corvette driver.

"Hey, it's not our fault you're dumb enough to street race." said Slater. "Seriously, you think you impress anyone with that double-clutching bullshit?".

"Well, it impressed me how he made that last turn without losing speed." Michaels admitted.

"True." said Slater thoughtfully. "I never thought an electric car could perform like that.".

"Oh great. We impressed the po-po!" the 'vette driver said sarcastically.

"Watch it, pal." said Slater. "Is that alcohol I smell on your breath?".

"No, it's on your own breath!" The Tesla guy said. "I thought I saw you finish a can of beer before we started the race.".

"You questioning our work ethic, homeboy?" asked Michaels.

As this discussion was going on, Stingray, Yuri, and Mr. Chairman had snuck up behind the group. The two cops and the two captive racers didn't hear them because of the argument they were having.

"Bingo!" Whispered Yuri as he saw that the keys were still in the Tesla and the Corvette.

"Shall we?" asked Stingray.

"We shall." said Mr. Chairman as he and Yuri got into the Tesla and Stingray took the 'vette.

"You two are lousy cops!" yelled the Tesla driver.

"And you two are a pair of losers!" said Slater.

"Anyhow, your cars are goin' straight to impound. And we advise you to get good lawyers, because if you can't afford one, we'll get you the dumbest friggin' lawyer on this planet!" said Michaels.

They were interrupted by the squeal of tyres as the Tesla and the 'vette drove off.

"What the...?" asked Michaels as he turned to look.

"Goddamn it! Some mother went and stole our wheels!" the 'vette driver yelled.

"Come on, Slater! After them!" said Michaels. "To the Speed Demon!"

Slater and Michaels got into the Camaro.

"I still say that's a lame name." Slater grumbled.

They took off after the two stolen cars, leaving the two street racers behind handcuffed.

"HEY! What about us?" The 'vette driver yelled.

A couple of passers-by approached.

The Tesla guy noticed them.

"Yo, man. I'll give you twenty bucks for a hairpin." he said to one of them.

---

The Wisdom pulled into the United Nations Plaza. Mortimer, Bella, and Bob climbed out.

"Here we are." said Bob. "The prize is somewhere in this area."

"I hope it is." said Bella. "What if we're wrong? What if it is the embassy?"

At the Australian Embassy...

"It's not a bribe!" yelled Lyle as two guards held him out of a window by his ankles. "I swear the briefcase is not a bribe!"

"Come on, pull him back in." said Charlie.

"As soon as he stops insisting we call him 'Napster'." said one of the guards.

Back at the United Nations...

"Well, let's get started looking for the Australian flag." said Mortimer.

At that point, the Utopia and Asp pulled up.

"Oh, let's hustle!" said Bob.

The other two teams climbed out of their cars.

"Come on!" yelled The Drake. "Those guys from SimCity are here already!"

Mortimer, Bella, and Bob ran for the flags in front of the buildings.

"You know what we have to do." said The Drake.

"Yep." said Ron. "Play dirty."

"My kind of challenge." said Venom.

Ron tackled the Goths to the ground while Venom tackled Bob. The Viper team ran past them and continued on.

"Well, that's not a very sporty way to win." said Mortimer.

"What were you expecting from a guy named Venom?" asked Venom.

Everyone looked at him.

"What?" he asked. "What did you think I'd say?"

The Drake stopped in front of a flagpole and started to look around. "It's gotta be here somewhere." he said.

Joe, Cole, and Westlake ran past him.

"Are you sure it's further up?" asked Westlake.

"I know for a fact that the flags are arranged in alphabetical order." said Cole.

Ron and Venom walked up to The Drake. "Find it yet?" asked Venom.

"No." said The Drake. "It has to be around here somewhere."

"Uh, Mr. Drake?" asked Ron. "Do you know what the Australian flag looks like?"

"Blue with a Union Jack in the corner." said The Drake. "The blue section has six white stars."

"This one has four red stars." said Ron. "It's New Zealand's flag."

The Drake looked up, then looked further down the line. "Crap." he said.

"Come on!" said Mortimer. "Let's get up there before..."

"Hey, look what I found." said Cole. He reached into the bushes and pulled out a briefcase.

"Never mind." groaned Mortimer.

"Is that it?" asked Joe.

Cole opened the briefcase. Inside were several stacks of money.

"We got it!" cheered Westlake.

They carried it back to the Asp and set it on the roof. At that point, the Terrific, Destroyer, and Wayfarer pulled up.

"Nice try!" yelled Joe.

The other entrants in the puzzle hunt heard their cell phones go off. They answered.

"If you're receiving this, you have just lost the puzzle hunt." said Brock. "However, this is the North American puzzle hunt you've just lost. There are others in store in Europe, Africa, Australia, and Asia. If you wish to enter those, simply call to enter. Good luck."

---

As the Cannonballers exited New York City, Banner and his team had regrouped.

"Alright. Obviously, we underestimated the Cannonballers. It would seem that more help is needed." Banner wearily said.

"You sure have great judgement there, sir." Buford said sarcastically.

"Watch it, fat boy!" Snapped Roscoe.

"Hey, time out!" yelled Banner. "I'll make a call for some more help if we can get it."

He picked up his CB and tuned it to the police frequency.

"To anyone who's listening out there. This is Federal Agent Rex Banner." he said. "I have put a team together to stop the Cannonball Run. It would seem that more help is needed for our effort.".

Driving along listening to his transmission were LaFours in the Opus and Slater and Michaels in the Speed Demon.

"My superiors have given me the go-ahead to offer a special incentive to anyone who aids our efforts. There will be a reward of $5000 dollars given for each Cannonball team apprehended. Tax free cash." Banner announced.

"Holy (bleep)!" Michaels and Slater chorused.

LaFours remained silent as ever but a smile appeared on his face.

"In addition, it looks likely that injury and damage to your vehicles could be a strong probability in this mission. Thusly, you do not have to step up if you don't wish to, but you will be given additional compensation for injuries or vehicle damages." Banner concluded. "Intelligence informs us that the first port of call for the Cannonballers in Europe will be Dublin, Ireland. Make your way there and then contact me on frequency 27 if you wish to offer your aid. Thank you very much.".

"You wanna do this, buddy?" asked Michaels.

"You bet your chubby ass, amigo!" said Slater.

Michaels poured on the Speed Demon's speed and the Opus followed them.

"This is for you, McLovin!" Michaels yelled. "Your student loans are paid in full, little buddy!"

---

As Banner's announcement was made, the Cannonballers had entered Connecticut, the second to last state on their journey through the USA. On I-95 between Fairfield and Milford, the Tempest slowed down a bit.

"Think we just need the engine looked at, guys." Tony said.

"No problem. There's a gas station up ahead." said Bam as he drove towards a rural gas station. An attendant wearing overalls in his late forties stood by a swiveling sign which currently said 'Full Serve'. As the Tempest came to a halt and the three Cannonballers got out, he scowled at them.

"Goddamn skateboard hippies and weirdoes." he grumbled to himself. "You can take care of yourselves.".

He swivelled the sign around so it now said 'Self Serve'. He then marched off inside the store as Torquenstein sighed and lifted the Tempest's hood.

"Dick." said Bam as he glared after the attendant.

"No problem. The engine just needs a little water, that's all." said Torquenstein.

"Still no excuse for that guy being a jerk!" Tony said as he went over to a nearby vending machine.

Just then, the Detector pulled into the gas station just behind the Tempest. The Angels and 99 got out. The attendant came out of the store as fast as lightning when he saw the girls and quickly changed the sign to read 'Full Serve' again.

"Hello, pretty ladies." he said, slightly lecherously. "How can I help you?".

"That's friggin' favouritism!" Bam protested.

"Shut up, punk." grumbled the attendant.

"We just need a quick service, mister." said Alex. "Just check the tyre pressure and under the hood. Fill her up with unleaded as well.".

"Sure thing." smirked the attendant as he went to open the Detector's hood.

The Angels went over to talk to Bam and his team while 99 went into the store to get a magazine.

"So, Angels, how are you finding the Cannonball so far?" asked Torquenstein as he finished filling the Tempest's radiator.

"Well, it's been tough, but we're tough as well so we've been able to handle it." said Natalie.

As they were talking, the attendant sneakily leaned over to look into the back seat of the Detector. He saw Alex's purse with quite a lot of money in it. He smirked to himself. He was unaware that 99 had seen him do so from inside the store. She narrowed her eyes a bit and moved over to the checkout counter.

"Well, after we get to the bridge, the battle really begins." Bam said to Dylan. "So, we hope you do well.".

"And the same to you guys." said Dylan. "Just try to avoid any insane stunts. I remember the time you and the other 'Jackass' guys entered a rent-a-car into a demolition derby.".

The attendant closed the hood of the Detector and approached the Angels.

"There you are, ladies. All fixed up. I have a bit of bad news, though." he said.

"What's that?" asked Alex.

"Well, I know you guys are Cannonballers and that you have that credit card thing to pay for gas and all. But my card-reading machine is broken. I've been waiting for the guy to come and fix it all day." the attendant lied. "So it'll have to be cash I'm afraid.".

"No problem." said Dylan.

"Yeah, well I'm afraid it's gonna cost you a c-note." the attendant smirked.

"A hundred bucks? Are you kidding?" Natalie exclaimed.

"Hey, I think I helped you out a lot." the attendant protested. "There were some things wrong with your engine you didn't know about."

As this was going on, 99 had snuck around the back of the counter and found the station's credit card reader. She took out her CR Credit Card and put it in the slot. The machine was able to read it with no troubles at all.

"Gotcha." she whispered to herself.

"Are you gonna listen to this bullshit?" Bam said to the Angels. "He wouldn't even serve us when we came in!".

"Now you listen here, ya Mountain Dew swiggin' jack..." the attendant began.

Suddenly, he was seized from behind and had a gun put to his head.

"Don't do anything stupid." said 99. "Even though you already have by trying to rip us off.".

"I knew it was a rip off." said Dylan. "There's nothing wrong with his card reader is there?".

"No. And he had a glimpse of Alex's money." 99 added.

"Now, come on!" the attendant nervously protested. "Surely we can sort this out in a friendly way.".

"We know just how." smirked Tony. "Bam, you got the glue?".

"Yep." said Bam. "Lasts a couple of hours.".

"What are you gonna do?" the attendant asked nervously.

"Something that's gonna REALLY injure your pride, pal." Torquenstein said.

A while later...

A police car pulled in to the gas station long after the Tempest and the Detector had left. As the two female state troopers got out, they raised their eyebrows at what they saw.

The attendant had had both his hands glued to the wall of the garage and was standing facing it. A hole had been cut in each of the butt cheek areas of both his overalls and his underpants, with the word 'Kiss' written on his left cheek and the word 'This' written on the right one. Also, glued to the the wall near his mouth was a hand-drawn comic book speech bubble reading 'I Suck Monkey Tits'.

"Up to your old tricks again, Virgil?" the first state trooper asked. "You'd think all those warnings the chief gave you about ripping customers off would sink in by now. As your brother, he's getting sick and tired of saving your ass.".

"Aw, just get me out of this, Maggie." he grumbled.

She tittered to herself and headed back to her car.

Virgil mumbled under his breath and then said: "Pretty please with sugar on it?".

Maggie smirked and went to release him. "Alright, but this is the last time. I mean it.".

---

As the sun began to set on the second day of the Cannonball, Giselle sped down Federal Highway 1 in Rhode Island on the way to Perryville. The bridge to Europe began at Point Judith on the coast.

Minnie steered Giselle with very few problems while Daisy kept her eye on the rear view mirror. Giselle managed to make good progress and overtake Herbie back in New York.

"This is great." said Minnie. "I just hope that Mickey won't get jealous if we beat him. Keep it up, Giselle! You're doing great."

Their comms screen came on and an image of Dudley Do-Right appeared.

"Hey there, ladies. How are things going?" he asked. "Any trouble?".

"Not so far, Dudley." said Daisy. "Why? You're not getting bored are you?".

"A little bit." Dudley admitted. "Most of the other guys have handled any threats thus far. Richard and ourselves are getting a bit anxious for some excitement. We're in your area now, so let us know if anything comes up".

Minnie and Daisy both heard the roar of an engine accompanied by some blast noises and gunshots.

Daisy looked in Giselle's rearview and saw the Comrade coming up behind them. The third group representing the Villains' Society were catching up and causing mayhem for the many innocent motorists on the road.

Mean Machine was behind the Comrade's wheel and laughing sadistically as he sideswiped other cars to get them to move aside. In addition, Captain Hook fired shots from his pistol at car tyres and Skeletor fired magic bolts from his fingertips.

"Hold that thought a minute, Dudley. And track our signal." said Daisy as she turned off the comms and activated Giselle's GPS.

"No worries, Daisy. We can handle this!" said Minnie as she frowned in a determined way.

She floored Giselle's accelerator and started swerving around other motorists, making a bit of headway against the Comrade.

"You're mine, ya little bitches!" yelled Mean as he kept after Giselle, also using expert driving.

Giselle passed a jeep on the right side and then Minnie stomped on her brakes. The Comrade overtook the same vehicle on the left side and then had to come to a halt to avoid rear-ending a furniture van. Hook angrily fired two shots at the van's rear tyres, puncturing them.

"Get after those stupid Disney do-gooders!" yelled Oil Can Harry.

"No problem!" said Mean as he got back on the gas and roared off after Giselle.

"They're still coming." Daisy reported.

"No sweat!" said Minnie. "I have an idea."

She drove Giselle up the left side of a large truck, passing it completely as the Comrade tried to catch up. When Giselle got to the front of the truck, Minnie cut in front of the truck and then swerved to the left, slamming on Giselle's brakes.

The Comrade came up behind the truck just as it swerved quickly to its right to avoid hitting Giselle. Mean had lost sight of Giselle so he didn't know that was why the truck had swerved.

He grunted and drove the Comrade over to the left-hand side of the road and passed the truck on that side. As he overtook the truck, he finally saw Giselle sitting there, with the drivers' side window facing the Comrade.

"Insolent wenches!" snapped Skeletor. "I'll deal with them!".

He raised his hand and fired a blue energy bolt from his hand. Just as he did, Minnie activated a special reflector device that Giselle's windows had been outfitted with. Skeletor's beam bounced back off the window and went back towards the Comrade instead and shot through its electrical system.

Mean, still holding the steering wheel got a nasty shock as the bolt went through his system as well.

"ARRRRGGGHH!" he yelled in fury.

Minnie and Daisy smiled. As the bolt wore off, Mean angrily got out of the Comrade and glared at Giselle and her passengers.

"Y'all must really love pain!" he snarled as he turned the dial on his forehead up to three and let out a furious roar.

Just then, he was hit by a taser dart and shocked some more. The Wildchild and the Murmur had shown up. Richard had fired the taser dart.

As Mean was shocked, Multi-Man duplicated himself several times and his duplicates tackled Mean to the ground. In addition, Coil Man had wrapped his coiled arms around Mean's own arms, fully restraining him.

As they did this, Dudley casually walked up to Mean and turned his dial back down to zero. Mean's growling subsided and he fell unconscious.

"Damn it!" yelled Hook.

As the two members of the Impossibles released Mean, they went over to Giselle.

"Are you okay, ladies?" asked Multi.

"Sure. Glad you got here in time." said Daisy.

"It looked like you had the situation under control, though." said Coil.

"We'll see you Disney brats when these guys aren't around!" yelled Harry.

"Maybe we won't need these guys nest time." said Minnie in a menacing voice, unusually for her.

"Now you guys take your partner and vamoose." said Dudley.

"Okay." grumbled Hook as he and Skeletor went to pick up Mean. Just then, there was a loud crash. Hook and Skeletor turned around and saw that all four wheels had fallen off the Comrade.

"What...?" Skeletor said.

"You idiot!" yelled Hook as he slapped Skeletor on the head. "That was your damn spell that did that!".

"Rubbish! It was your lousy customisation skills!" Skeletor snapped back. "I should have brought Trap Jaw with me!".

"I think you ladies can head on while these guys sort out their problem." Richard said.

"On it!" said Minnie as she smiled and drove off in Giselle.

The two protector teams returned to their cars. "I'd hurry up with that repair if I were you guys." Fluid Man called out smugly to Skeletor and Hook.

---

At the beginning of a stretch of farm country near Wakefield, the Overlord pulled up to the Bisonte. Darius was in the Bisonte's driver's seat while as usual, Ford drove the Overlord.

"Okay, this is it." Frank announced as he stood alongside the road with Jazz and Don with him. "We're almost one continent down, so hopefully this little diversion will convince Mr. Fairlane that his car needs help.".

"Yeah, like hell, snapperhead!" scoffed Ford.

"I've got my laptop wired with GPS to both cars so I can check who the winner is when the race is over." said Jazz. "But Ford, I hope you know what you're doing.".

"I hope he does too, Jazz." said Darius. "His ego could be in for a MAJOR blow after this race.".

"Is your engine as big as your mouth, pal?" said Ford.

"Okay, okay! Enough of the grade school crap!" said Don. "Let's get it on!".

Both Ford and Darius revved their engines as Jazz stepped out into the gap between both cars in front, holding a red scarf in her hands.

"Jimmy Dean style!" Ford thought to himself.

After a few tense seconds, Jazz waved the scarf in the air and the Overlord and Bisonte roared off the impromptu starting line.

The Bisonte took the lead as both vehicles raced through the farm country. As they came over the crest of a hill, Ford clenched his teeth and managed to get a fraction of a lead.

"YEAH! That's what I'm talkin' about!" he yelled.

"Dead man driving!" said Darius as he managed to close the gap. As they rounded a turn, the Overlord swung a bit wide and the Bisonte was able to take the lead again. But Ford kept right on Darius' tail.

The two cars raced through a covered bridge, with the Overlord rapidly gaining ground. As the two cars came out of the bridge, Ford smirked as he saw an opportunity for a short cut up ahead. There was a dirt road on the left side of the track while the main road continued to curve downhill to the right.

As Darius continued down the main road, Ford laughed and turned off onto the dirt road and continued into a tunnel at the end.

"Okay! Here we go!" yelled Ford as he saw a jump at the end of the tunnel. Just as Darius reached the bottom of the hillside on the main road, Ford leapt the Overlord over the jump just above him and took the lead.

"HAH!" Ford yelled. He then started to sing to himself as he kept the lead. "Da da dum dum dum, another one bites the dust!".

"Buster!" Darius grumbled to himself as he sped the Bisonte up to catch up with the Overlord as the race continued over some rolling hills and past a cluster of farmhouses.

Darius himself spotted an opportunity. "Okay, white boy! Two can play at that game!".

As Ford sped on through the farmland, Darius suddenly turned to the left and went down another dirt road. It led him through a cornfield. While Ford continued on the main road, Darius mowed down stacks of corn and managed to gain ground.

As the Overlord weaved through the farmland, the Bisonte suddenly swerved out of the cornfield and cut in front of the Overlord, nearly scraping against it.

"Son of a bitch!" yelled Ford.

"Sorry. Didn't see you there!" Darius sarcastically said as he got the lead on the Overlord once again as they continued through the farmland.

As they both exited the stretch of farmland, they entered a small town and drove completely straight down the main street, managing to avoid the traffic with expertise. Although Darius fared slightly better than Ford.

As they exited the town, Ford saw one last posibility for a shortcut and went down a side road as Darius continued down the main road an through a stream.

Ford drove the Overlord through a barn and kept going, but was temporarily blinded as he hit some hay bales and some of the hay spilled onto the Overlord's windshield.

"Goddamn it!" he yelled as he swerved a bit, trying to regain control.

While Ford had his trouble, the Bisonte continued through some more farmland.

Frank spoke to Darius through a walkie-talkie.

"Keep going! You're nearly there!" Frank said.

"Roger that!" said Darius.

The Overlord had finally got out of the barn and Ford struggled to catch up. He gained some ground as both cars approached the coast line and came to a hard left-hand turn.

Darius was able to successfully turn and drift through the sharp curve. Ford tried to do the same, but the Overlord topped out and went into a spin.

Darius laughed to himself as he took the lead and reached the end of the course successfully.

Back at the start, Jazz checked her GPS on her laptop.

She sighed to herself.

"Congratulations, Frank." she said. "Darius is the winner.".

Frank smiled. "I'm glad that NSA driving school paid off for him.".

A short while later, the Bisonte and the Overlord had returned to the starting line. Frank was now back inside the Bisonte with Darius and Ford's team were back in the Overlord with him.

Ford glared to himself.

"I want you to practice something for me, Ford." said Frank. "'I was wrong'. Say it.".

"I was wrong." grumbled Ford.

"We couldn't hear you." said Darius chidingly.

"I was wrong." Ford said louder.

"Okay. Now let's get going, unless you want to be last across the bridge as well." smirked Frank as he and Darius sped off.

"Goddamn snapperhead!" Ford said to himself.

"Him or yourself?" asked Don.

"Both actually." Ford said. "Okay, so we DO need help, but how can we get it?".

"No prob." said Jazz as she consulted her laptop. "I had a feeling this would happen so I checked out the locations throughout the world of this race parts store called Speed Zone.".

"Speed Zone?" chorused Ford and Don.

"Yeah. They're a street-racing outfitters. They should be able to help us get the parts we need. It'll cost though." said Jazz.

"Well, we'll talk about that more later." said Don. "For now, let's get the lead out and get to the bridge.".

"Okay, here we go." said Ford as he drove off. He turned on the Overlord's stereo and smiled a little bit as 'Built For Speed' by the Stray Cats started playing.

"Just a little mood lifter." he explained.

---

"At this moment, the Cannonballers are almost out of North America." announced Misty. "As you know, for a change this year, Point Judith in Rhode Island marks the beginning of the bridge to Europe.".

"The state said that it was a great honour to be picked as the starting point for the USA to Europe bridge this year." said Ron. "I bet they were really happy to get in on the excitement.".

"Anyway, the top three teams are now approaching the bridge." said Veronica. "Reporting on the scene are two reporters we called in from the East Coast. Please welcome from New York, Robin Scherbatsky, and from Philadelphia, Holly Ellenbogen."

Near the bridge to Europe, two women reporters, one brunette and one blonde, stood holding microphones.

"Thank you, Misty." said Robin, the brunette. "Right now, we are awaiting the arrival of the Cannonballers."

"Who will be the first to cross the bridge?" asked Holly, the blonde. "Several teams are racing through Rhode Island. Which one will get there first?"

"Currently, we have little information to suggest a first arrival." said Robin. "The anticipation is quite awe-inspiring and I haven't felt this way since I covered the inauguration of the newest New York City mayor."

"Odds makers are hard at work trying to determine a favorite for the first to cross." said Holly. "Hopefully, we won't be waiting long, then you can know how I felt when a group of college students isolated the magenta virus while I was interviewing their professor."

"Or how I felt when a panda gave birth while I was interviewing the zookeeper nearby." said Robin.

"Sounds like the time I interviewed a firefighter after he rescued a bus full of kids." said Holly.

"You did not do that story." said Robin.

"I did so." said Holly. "And if we had a computer with internet access, we could see it. It's probably on YouTube."

"Actually, girls." said Misty. "You have a laptop computer with a cellular modem in your news van."

"Shall we take a look?" asked Robin.

"Okay." said Holly.

They walked back to the news van and used the laptop.

"Okay, I'll just enter my name." said Holly. "Now, where is it?"

"I don't see it." said Robin. "The only video here under your name is something about impaling a rabbit."

"You don't want to watch that." said Holly nervously.

"I think I do." said Robin as she clicked on the link.

"You are so dead." said Holly.

Holly and Robin watched the video clip which showed Holly at a game farm reporting a story. As she approached the camera, a rabbit hopped over to her.

"Oh!" gasped Robin as she covered her mouth in shock.

"Yes, it's true." said Holly. "I killed a rabbit."

"I guess you shouldn't have worn those heels." said Robin.

"Let's see if there's anything about you here." said Holly as she started to enter something into the search engine.

"Save your RAM." said Robin. "The most embarrassing thing you'll find is me falling in horse manure."

"What's this?" asked Holly. "'Let's Go To The Mall'?"

"What?" said Robin. "What's that doing in there?" Then, she saw the user name on the clip. "Swarley? Damn you, Barney!"

Holly clicked on it. They saw a teenage Robin dressed as a Catholic schoolgirl. She appologized to her teacher and then started to sing a pop song about going to the mall.

"Uh, we'll be right back." said Misty.

---

The Drake drove across the Connecticut/Rhode Island state line.

"You realize that Danny's never going to let you live that down, right?" said Ron.

"Let's just try to put it behind us." said the Drake.

"Maybe some music will help." said Venom. He turned on the radio.

Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and...

The Drake turned it off.

"Let's forget about music." said Venom.

---

"Hang on a minute, Misty!" Holly said suddenly as she looked into her binoculars. "I can see a car approaching!"

Robin grabbed her binoculars as well. "Yes, there is definitely a Cannonballer approaching."

"Can you tell who it is?" asked Ron.

"It appears to be...yes! It's the Red Fury!" cheered Holly.

The Red Fury drove past the two reporters and continued on the way across to Europe.

"Looks like we're leading the pack now!" said Mack, as he drove.

"Don't get too cocky! 'Cause then when you start making mistakes." Cautioned Nick.

"So, folks, there you have it!" said Misty. "The Red Rangers team is in first! We'll contact them now."

Ron activated a link to the Red Fury and his image popped up on their dashboard monitor.

"So, guys, are you proud to have made it to the bridge first?" asked Ron.

"Yes, we are. But we know we'll have a long way to go before a winner is crowned, Ron." said Casey.

"Well, as you know, the first racer to cross the bridge gets special privileges. Any song you'd like to either hear the band play or request from our DJs?' asked Ron.

"Yes, I do have a song I'd like to request from Cool J and Usher." said Mack.

"We're all ears, Mack." said Cool J. "What'll it be?"

"Well, we're about to enter the rest of the world on our way through the Cannonball" said Mack. "So I'd like to request 'Welcome To The World' by Kevin Rudolf."

"Good call there, Mack." said Casey.

"Okay, fellas. Here you are." said Usher as Moby started up the music and they began to sing.

Welcome to the world, welcome to the world.

You got your pop star, I'll be your rock star.
When it's a suicide, you call it superstar.
Check out the forecast, predictions won't stop.
You get your fifteen and then they take the spot.

As the Red Fury began to cross the bridge to Europe, the Vulcano and the Usagi started to cross behind it. All the occupants of both cars admired the view of the ocean.

"We're one continent down with six more to go through." Buffy said.

"(Not for long!)" yelled a voice.

The two all girl teams looked and saw Yogostein, Kitaneidas and Kegaleisa appear on the bridge before them.

"(We're not finished with you by a long shot!)" Yogostein said. "(Banki, get them!)"

Scoop Banki, Speaker Banki, and then Bombe Banki arrived to attack both teams. Both teams used the weapons in their respective vehicles to fight the three machine monsters.

Let's go, let's go.
And then you're ready to go.
Let's go, let's go.
'Cause it's the end of the show.

Let's go, let's go.
So just get ready to go.
Let's go, let's go.
Let's go, let's go.

The Vulcano fired its flamethrower. It incinerated both Bombe and Speaker Banki.

The Usagi fired missiles at Scoop Banki, which destroyed it instantly.

"(You forget that it's not over until they're enlarged!)" Yogostein added to his monsters' defeat. Inside all three Banki, a special chemical was pumped into each monster from a special small storage tank. All three instantly grew into giants.

"That's not good..." Lara said.

All the time that you were gone.
I thought about how things went wrong.
Now you're coming down to earth.
Okay, hello, welcome to the world.

She saw the bright lights, she caught the fever.
She got contagious, she never leave it.
So no more time spent and no more free shit.
In fact this free ride has reached its destination.

As hope seemed lost on the girls' teams, the Red Fury turned around and drove back towards them.

Let's go, let's go.
And then you're ready to go.
Let's go, let's go.
'Cause it's the end of the show.

Let's go, let's go.
And when it's over, you'll know.
Let's go, let's go.
Let's go, let's go.

The Red Fury came to a halt as all three Red Rangers morphed. They climbed out of the car and Mack made a call on his morpher to have the BattleFleet Zord summoned to their location.

"(What is that?)" Kitaneidas asked as he noticed something approaching the bridge. An amphibious battleship drove out of the water and came to a halt at the edge of the bridge.

The three Red Rangers jumped aboard the Zord, as Mack initiated Megazord transformation.

All the time that you were gone.
I thought about how things went wrong.
Now you're coming down to earth.
Okay, hello, welcome to the world.

Life's a tour, I'm so sure.
The ex will come before you exit girl.
No more games, I confess.
Far from lane, I'm just so fresh.

While Cubit Lee it's the big boss.
You get on the block, Mr. Rudolf.
2 stars, hold your applause.
Hold it down to y'alls all guitars.

"BattleFleet Megazord!" Mack shouted out as the Megazord unleashed a barrage of punches to the monsters, destroying them instantly.

The teams in the Vulcano and the Usagi were ecstatic and waved their thanks and goodbyes to the Power Rangers as they sped off on their way to Europe.

"Hey, they're getting ahead of us!" said Nick.

"No problem! We can catch up." said Casey. "We just have to send the Zord here back home."

"Okay." said Mack as he got ready to do so.

Half my life I sacrifice.
But I only came to party tonight.
New chicks, get my drinks up.
Every weekend we can link up.

New rings, with the big cuts.
Only be the best sport, get your mix up.
I took my time she love me, me such.
When she closes her eyes it's what she thinks of.
Boss.

As more and more Cannonballers raced onto the bridge, the three Pollution Ministers cursed.

"(Next continent, their asses are ours!)" Kegaleisa snarled.

All the time that you were gone.
I thought about how things went wrong.
Now you're coming down to earth.
Okay, hello, welcome to the world.
Welcome to the world, welcome to the world.
Welcome to the world, welcome to the world.

'Welcome To The World' by Kevin Rudolf feat. Rick Ross.

"Ho-ly crap!" exclaimed Robin when the battle was over. "Did you guys at Race Central see that?"

"We sure did." said Ron. "That was incredible.".

"I think that's the first time there's actually been a confrontation on one of the continental bridges!" said Misty. "But thanks to Team Red Ranger, it was dealt with and the Cannonballers are Europe-bound!"

"Hold on, we've got a report of the next team." said Veronica. "And it turns out to be the winners of the puzzle hunt."

"Yes, we can see him approaching now." said Robin.

"And so, here comes the..." said Holly before she and Robin took on shocked looks.

"Should we tell him?" asked Robin.

"I think he knows." said Holly.

"I can't believe we won that." said Westlake.

"Maybe we'll win the next one too." said Joe.

"Hey, guys." said Cole. "Where'd we put the money?"

"Westlake put it in the trunk." said Joe.

"No, I didn't." said Westlake.

"Well, it has to be somewhere." said Cole.

"Don't worry." said Joe. "It'll turn up."

The Asp drove across the bridge. The briefcase sat on the roof as the money inside blew out.

"And so ends the first leg of the race." said Lazlow As usual, it was not without drama, both on and off the track."

"Our security team, in light of the recent attempted heist of the prize money, will remain vigilant over the money, as I am sure the Cannonballers shall be against any future attacks of this magnitude." said Ron.

"So we wish all our racers godspeed and good fortune in the remaining continents." said Veronica.

"So, until next time, I'm Lazlow.."

"I'm Misty.."

"I'm Veronica Corningstone.."

"And I'm Ron Burgundy. Stay classy, Cannonball fans!"

---

Back at the warehouse where he had received KARR, Garthe watched as some technicians made some repairs and alterations to Goliath.

He turned to KARR who was parked nearby.

"Okay, so we got off to a rough start, but from here on out, things will get nasty for the Cannonballers...and Michael Knight.".

"I intend to make sure that is so, Mr. Knight." KARR laughed to himself.

---

Big Boss had just heard the reports of the failures his agents had in the field and angrily pounded his desk with his iron hand.

"Okay, you'll get replacement vehicles, you morons!" he yelled. "But there better be no more screw-ups, see? Now get going!".

Just then, Dr. Badvibes entered his office.

"What is it, Badvibes?" he asked in frustration.

"One part of the mission was a success, Big Boss." Badvibes smirked as he held up the Total Anarchy mask.

Big Boss smiled to himself evilly.

---

"I don't know if you've heard or not," said Alice into the phone "but a few days ago, there was a fire at the Four Dragons. We were forced to evacuate with the guests."

"Don't worry about it." said Lester. "We managed to get the blueprints and get out."

"How did you do that?" asked Alice.

"I'll explain later." said Lester. He looked over at Luther. Luther looked at himself in the mirror with his shirt pulled up. The map written on his chest and belly was fully visible.

TO BE CONTINUED.

---

"In the next chapter of Cannonball Run 7..."

"Lester and Luther use their ill-gotten map to go after their boss."

In the prison, Luther had pulled up his shirt to show Lester the map on his chest. Lester leaned in close and asked "Is this a staircase or a secret door?"

Luther looked at what Lester was looking at and said "Neither, it's a birthmark."

"The Bluths reward their savior."

George Sr. and Gob stood in a field with Gob holding the dove. Hot-air balloons were being inflated all around them.

"Well, little guy." said George. "It's because of you that we were able to escape from that situation."

"You granted us our freedom." said Gob. "So, we shall grant you yours. Back to the sky from whence you came."

With that, he tossed the dove into the air and they watched it fly off.

"And the dove enjoys its returned freedom..."

The dove landed on the propane burner for one of the balloons.

"...for the last thirty seconds of its life."

George waved his hands and repeated "No! at half-second intervals.

"No, not there!" yelled Gob. "Go! Fly! Take off! Get outta there! Fly! FLY!"

The balloon operator activated the propane burner.

KWEEEEEEEE!

"Come on!" yelled Gob.

AN:As always, please review. And Happy Easter.