Cannonball Run 7: High Speed Heroes

by BKelly95

Co-written by The Turbo Man. The Cannonballers have returned for another race around the world for a five hundred million dollar first prize. Who will rise? Who will fall? And who will win the Cannonball Run?

9. We're Having Some Fun Now, Huh?

CANNONBALL RUN 7: HIGH SPEED HEROES by Bkelly95 and the Turbo Man.

Chapter 9: 'We're having some fun now, huh?'

DISCLAIMER: We own nothing as usual and no money is being made from this. The Nod vehicles used come from the 'Tiberium Wars' series of 'Command & Conquer'.

AN: Dedicated to the memories of Hal Needham, Paul Walker, and Roger Rodas.

---

Eric drove along in the Reckless.

"I can't believe you didn't get any stuff in Holland!" said Hyde from the back seat.

"We had other things on our minds." said Fez, who sat next to him.

"Relax, Hyde." said Kelso from the front passenger seat. "We brought you back to the world of the living."

"Plus, I've got a surprise for you." said Eric from the driver's seat.

"Yeah, what's that?" asked Hyde.

"We're picking up more stuff." said Fez.

"Sheya." said Kelso. "We heard about these guys and they're supposed to be at the roadhouse up ahead."

Eric looked over his shoulder. "And they're willing to give us some stuff." he said as LaFours ran in front of the car. "All they want in return is..."

Eric ran into LaFours who tumbled across the hood and fell over the fender. Eric and his friends looked forward in shock.

"YES! Just what we needed!" Brodie yelled in triumph as he started up the Falcon and peeled rubber out of the roadhouse's parking lot.

Meanwhile, Eric and Kelso jumped out of the Reckless and ran over to LaFours.

"Sorry! Sorry!" said Eric as LaFours struggled to get up. "Are you alright? Please tell me you're alright."

LaFours rolled over onto his rear and rubbed his head.

"Yeah, he's fine." said Kelso.

"Can you walk?" asked Eric as he and Kelso helped LaFours to his feet. "That was quite a hit."

LaFours looked at the trail of dust the Falcon had left behind with disgust.

"This guy is made of iron." said Kelso. "Takes a licking and keeps on ticking."

LaFours angrily shrugged Eric and Kelso's hands off himself and headed for the Opus, which was parked nearby.

"That guy has a gratitude problem." said Fez as he watched everything.

---

Elsewhere, the Overlord pulled up at an intersection. The car sported a new chrome grille.

A Honda Accord pulled up next to it. The car had been customized with red pearlescent paint, a Wings West W-Type body kit with Commando spoiler, chrome Enkei Raijin rims, and yellow splash graphics.

The driver looked over at Ford.

"Hey, what you running?" he asked.

"Somewhat stock, but also new headers and exhaust." said Ford. "Oh, and I just got a new clutch installed yesterday."

"And is that enough to lug that massive hunk of junk around?" asked the Accord driver.

"More than enough to lug this thing around and kick your ass." said Ford. "Of course, it can also stand up to the wind a lot better than your wind-up toy."

"Make jokes, but you needed the wind to blow you through the mountains. Or did you actually drive over them?"

"At least I can wash mine without worrying about it falling down the drain." said Ford.

"That's because your car was made by Kenworth."

"So what?" asked Ford. "Yours was made by Matchbox."

"Elephant!"

"Squirrel!" replied Ford.

"Dinosaur!"

"Rat!" said Ford.

"Hippo!"

"Chipmunk!" said Ford.

"Tank!"

"Mouse!" said Ford.

"No! Tank!" yelled the Accord driver while pointing past Ford.

Ford looked to see a black and red tank with three treads (arranged two in front, one in rear), a cannon mounted on the roof, and two guns on the front.

"I'm outta here." said Ford as he drove off.

The Accord started to pull away, then stalled. "Dammit!" yelled the driver.

The tank started to aim for the Accord. The driver continued to try restarting the car. "Come on." he begged.

He looked at the tank and saw the cannon aimed right at him. He screamed and jumped out of the car. Seconds later, the tank fired and blew the Accord to pieces.

"Hey! I had five payments left!"

The tank aimed at him.

"It's okay. I'll get another." he said calmly.

Down the street, the Overlord slowed down and stopped to avoid hitting the Utopia and Doomsayer.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Ford.

"Follow us." said The Drake.

After a moment's hesitation, Ford nodded and followed after the other two Cannonballers.

As they went on their way at high speed, Mario activated the comlink to Race Central.

"Brock! We've-a got a HUGE problem. It looks like the Dorajland army are-a rebelling and going after all Cannonballers." he said. "Spread-a the word to all the others."

"Right, Mario! I'll see how much help I can hustle up for you." Brock replied.

---

"Just once, is it possible for the race to go through a continent WITHOUT a disaster happening?" Brock groaned at Race Central.

Suddenly, the huge screen above the stage filled with static and was then replaced with the insignia of the Brotherhood of Nod. After a few seconds, it was replaced with the image of Kane sitting at Jarod's desk in the presidential office.

"Greetings to all officials of the Cannonball Run and its participants." Kane announced. "I'm sure that many of your petty law enforcement and military agencies can tell you who I am. The country currently known as Dorajland has seen its fair share of political strife. But those days are over. Today, the Brotherhood of Nod will bring unity and prosperity. Not just to this country, but to all of the continent of Africa and eventually to all the world. The Cannonballers travelling through this country shall be the first witnesses to the rise of this new order. In fact, I extend a hand to all of them to participate in bringing the new order to power."

Kane leaned towards the camera in a menacing way.

"Refusal will not be tolerated." he added. "Dorajland is now under martial law...and I am the Marshal. The country has now been sealed off by Nod's defences and no attempt by any other country to interfere will go unpunished. Cannonballers who are in Dorajland: your future is in your hands. You are either with us or against us. I think you can guess which one I would prefer. It would be much more beneficial to your health. This is the Brotherhood of Nod signing off."

The screen cut back to the Nod logo and then went blank.

Brock, the other organisers, and the viewers looked shocked.

"Mr. X...get as many of our protectors who are near Dorajland to head there immediately and find some way to breach the defenses. Our racers need them now more than ever!" said Brock.

"Yes, sir!" said Mr. X.

---

Somewhere in the Sudan, Skeeter had just arrived via cargo plane. He currently had his Street Van set up and was finishing repairs on the damaged Licorne's engine. Nearby, the FLAG Semi, Reckoning, Wildchild, KITT 3000, and the Barbarian were parked.

"I think she's going to be just fine now." said Skeeter.

"I can't believe you had enough parts to repair the engine." said Donkey.

"Are you kidding?" asked Skeeter. "I've got enought parts to build another car."

Michael Knight had finished entering the radio frequency that Team Shrek had got off the PALM soldiers they had defeated and was about to confront Garthe.

"Are you sure you want to do this now, Michael?" Richard Miller asked.

"It has to be done, after all the grief that Garthe has caused." Bonnie remarked. "Besides, with all of us involved, the odds are evened since Garthe thinks Kuna's guys will protect him."

"Can your truck handle a heavy battle?" asked Claude McGarren.

"No problemo." said RC3. "We outfitted a few little changes into her."

"If you say so." said Shrek, a bit uneasily.

"Got him now, Michael." KITT said triumphantly.

Michael spoke into a small microphone in front of him.

"This is the Foundation for Law And Government calling Garthe Knight, Respond, over." Michael said seriously.

After a pause, Garthe replied.

"I congratulate you, dear 'brother'. It seems your new friends in the Cannonball Run are very resourceful." Garthe sneered.

"Well, I've had enough of you and your buddies causing trouble. We both know that it's me you want." Michael said.

"Correct. So, why don't you just surrender yourself for execution at the hands of my friends in PALM? I guarantee that I'll leave everyone else alone. "Garthe replied.

"Well, there's a slight problem there, Garthe. The problem that I have extreme difficulty in believing any promise made by you." Michael said. "We are going to end this now."

"And how do you propose to do that?"

"You and KARR are going to meet me and KITT in the Tsavo East National Park in Kenya." Michael said. "I trust you know the place from your extensive knowledge of African geography. There, we're going to face off once and for all. None of your PALM creeps. Just you and KARR."

"And why exactly should I trust that you'll come alone?" Garthe chipped in.

"Why should I trust that YOU will?" Michael replied.

"It's impolite to answer a question with a question, you know." Garthe said. "But your point is understood. I assure you, though, that your friends will be crushed if they try to aid you. Do you want to have their fates on your conscience?"

"We'll see who comes out on top. So, will you meet at the designated location?"

"I certainly will." Garthe said smugly. "I've waited nearly thirty years for this, and I don't intend to wait any more."

"Good. This is FLAG, signing off." Michael said as he terminated the comms link.

---

Meanwhile in Dorajland, the Maniac 2 had stopped after hearing Kane's broadcast.

"What was that they were saying?" asked Max. "The army is trying to take over the country?"

"Looks like it." said Laura. "Should've known it wasn't going to be easy."

"Maybe they won't have had time to properly mobilise as yet." said Liam as a couple of motorcyclists overtook the Maniac 2.

About 100 feet up the road, the motorcycles suddenly turned and faced the Maniac 2.

Laura gasped as she saw that on either side of the rear of the cycles was a missile launcher. They were attack bikes from the Brotherhood of Nod arsenal.

"Liam, you're a damn jinx!" she said.

"Battle stations it is." said Max as he activated the Maniac 2's transformation sequence.

As the attack bikes kept the Maniac 2 covered, a couple of Reckoners and Flame Tanks drove up behind them and got into a formation.

"Eat this!" yelled Liam as he fired missiles towards the Reckoners and Flame Tanks.

The Flame Tanks returned fire just as the Reckoners' loading ramps opened and Nod troops were deployed, with all guns blazing.

The attack bikes also fired their missiles which reloaded automatically.

Max was having no bother taking care of the attack bike fire with the Maniac 2's grille guns.

The Flame Tanks and Nod troops continued to fire laser and flamethrower blasts but the Maniac 2 was more than able to withstand the attack.

Eventually, the attack bike riders abandoned their vehicles as they caught fire and exploded after receiving a heavy barrage from the grille guns on the Maniac 2.

A few more attack bikes arrived on the scene. Liam quickly turned the missile launcher around a fired a few barrages at them which they were barely able to avoid.

"This is a very strong team of Cannonballers." the unit leader in the main Reckoner said as he watched the MASK 2 team hold their own.

"We'll recruit them right away, sir." said the female officer next to him as she gave a signal on her communicator.

As the Maniac 2 continued to concentrate its fire in front of itself, a small battalion of Raider buggies roared over the hill and surrounded it on all sides.

"Now it's YOUR turn!" said the Raider battalion's commander as the group of Raiders activated their EMP weapons.

"Oh, God, no!" said Liam as the Maniac 2 was completely disabled.

The MASK 2 agents looked around themselves in shock as the Raiders and their occupants aimed their lasers and machine guns at them.

"I'll go get help!" said Max as he put his mask on.

"Where?" asked Laura in surprise.

"Somewhere. Anywhere. You guys just sit tight!" Max said. "Whisper, on!"

Max's mask activated and he quickly slipped away as a pair of Nod soldiers opened the doors of the Maniac 2 and aimed their weapons at Liam and Laura.

"It would be easier if you didn't resist. And less dangerous as well." the female squad leader annnounced.

Liam and Laura raised their hands above their heads and were forced out by a couple of soldiers.

Once Liam and Laura were out of their vehicle, the Nod soldiers forced their hands behind their backs and bound them each with a set of electronic cuffs.

"Major! There was a third member of this team, but there's no sign of him." announced a male Nod soldier.

"What do you mean?!" the female Major demanded. "Look for him!"

"Yes, ma'am." said the soldier as he raised a pair of electronic binoculars and scanned the area. "No body heat signature." he announced. "Not tracking any vital signs and nothing on infrared either."

The major groaned. "Use your EYES, you hapless techno-geek!" she snapped. "Next you morons will need a microchip in your johns to check how much fibre you've been eating!"

Despite their situation, Liam and Laura rolled their eyes in amusement.

Max had been able to sneak into the undergrowth. "Hang on, guys. I won't let you down!" he thought to himself as he broke into a run and headed cross-country to the nearest civilisation.

---

The Falcon was now speeding down the road towards Yendys, the capital city of Dorajland. As they entered the city, the Manhattan Spirit sat waiting a few blocks away from where the Falcon was. Sissy was listening to a police radio.

"We have sighted an early 2000's Chevrolet Impala going well over the speed limit." a police officer reported over the radio. "It is heading towards the business district. Request arresting officers, over."

Sissy, Chrissy, and Missy all smiled. Missy raised a pair of binoculars and looked through the gaps in the city streets to their left and saw the Falcon going hell-for-leather.

Chrissy started the Manhattan Spirit up and pulled out of their parking space.

As they drove, she kept listening to the radio and took occasional glances at the route she knew the Falcon was taking.

In the Falcon, Brodie drove fast. He was wearing the Chaos mask and Silent Bob had put on his Bluntman hat. They were high on enthusiasm and completely unaware of what was about to happen.

"I'm glad LaFours was taken care of." he said. "As much as I respect fellow crime-fighters, he had corrupt tendencies. So we don't need him bringing us in."

"Didn't he bump uglies with Trish The Dish a few times?" asked Jay.

"Probably just to help her with her book, citizen Jay." Brodie said. "There's no way that even he'd want to end up like that Fashionable Male reprobate Mr. Hamilton."

While Brodie was distracted talking to Jay, the Manhattan Spirit suddenly roared out of a side intersection and rammed the Falcon in the side.

The impact was so strong and sudden that the Falcon spun out and crashed into a nearby alley, coming to rest against a warehouse wall.

"OWNED YOU, BURN BOYS!" Chrissy yelled in triumph.

Sissy and Missy got out of the Manhattan Spirit as Chrissy stopped it.

They went over to the Falcon and saw that the three team-mates had been knocked unconscious. Brodie and Jay were lying with their faces buried in their airbags while Silent Bob was lying groaning in the back.

"Let's take fat boy." Sissy said. "He's the brains of the outfit. Without him, these other jerks are royally boned."

"No prob." smirked Missy as she opened the left rear passenger door and undid Silent Bob's seatbelt.

Silent Bob began to stir, but Missy quickly jammed a syringe full of sedative into his arm.

"Not just yet, sleepyhead." she smirked.

---

Elsewhere in Yendys, the Starlight had stopped so that Corvax and his team-mates could gas up.

At a nearby pump was the Streetfighter. Beavis and Butthead were watching Priss lustily as she mounted her bike.

"Hey, baby!" Butthead called over to her. "What'd ya say to a little screw? HUH HUH, HUH HUH!"

"YEAH YEAH! HEH HEH, HEH HEH!" laughed Beavis.

"I'd like to answer honestly." Priss said as she looked down her nose at them. "But this movie doesn't have a mature enough rating for it."

"Betcha we can beat ya to the other side of the city!" Butthead laughed as he revved the Starlight's engine.

Priss smirked. "You're on, junior!" She laughed as she tightened her gloves and secured her helmet harder.

"Beavis, put the CD on!" Butthead ordered with a grin on his face.

Beavis laughed and inserted the Manowar CD into the stereo and moved it to the right song.

As the sound of engine revving which opened the song began, Corvax stirred from his sleep in the back seat.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"We're about to race the biker chick there!" Beavis said as he nodded over to Priss and blew a kiss at her.

Corvax looked at Priss in a perverse way as well. "I wonder if she'd like to be part of a harem."

"Forget the bike! I wanna ride her!" Beavis chuckled as Butthead and Priss revved their engines.

Priss popped a wheelie and rode out of the gas station parking lot at high speed.

The Starlight soon took off after her as the lyrics to the song began.

Since the dawn of time,
I've rolled across the earth.
Spinning in the dust,
Long before your birth.

Priss mounted the sidewalk and rode the Streetfighter fast along its length.

The Starlight stayed on the road but was more than capable of keeping up with her.

Eatin' tar and gasoline.
Every light I see is green.
Open pipes, my machine's,
Triple-plated chrome.

Spirit of the wheel.

"See ya!" she called in a musical voice as she went off the sidewalk and weaved through a thick wave of traffic, going into an alleyway and right down in, encountering few obstacles.

"Ain't losin' me, baby!" Butthead whooped as he drove farther down the street, bypassing some of the traffic.

"She has great boobs, doesn't she!" Beavis whooped.

"Indeed. Really the 'Guns of Navarone'!" Corvax smirked. "I'm amazed she's able to zip her jacket closed like she does!".

"Big boobs against tight leather. Can't be beat! HEH HEH! HEH HEH!" Beavis laughed.

Wheels of fire burn the night.
Ride across the sky.
Wheels of fire burning bright.
We live to ride.

Butthead turned a hard right and went down another alley which was large enough to accomodate a car.

He whooped as he roared down it, occasionally bumping into garbage cans and assorted junk.

"Right behind you, sexy madame!" Corvax yelled.

Motors running.
Now you're gonna learn.
Waiting on the line.
Make your tires burn.

Fast, faster, faster, faster.
Speeding always kills.
Nothing else takes us.
to get these thrills.

Spirit of the wheel.

Priss reached the end of her alley and rode out onto a public garden area which was below street-level.

She gritted her teeth as she used a small hillock as a ramp and leaped to the top of the access stairs and back onto the higher road.

Wheels of fire burn the night.
Ride across the sky.
Wheels of fire burning bright.
We live to ride.

The Starlight roared through an intersection and into another alley, with Butthead honking the horn to warn pedestrians to move.

"Come on, Butthead! Find 'er and beat 'er!" Beavis yelled excitedly.

Blood and thunder on the road.
My heart is pounding.
My blood is nitroglycerin.
I'm fire.

The Starlight swerved back onto the road at the next exit.

Butthead activated a shot of nitrous and they were propelled ahead faster.

Up ahead, Priss could hear the roaring engine and saw them catching up.

She grunted in anger and poured on the speed to the Streetfighter.

Burning, burning, burning, burning.
Ready to explode.
Don't want nothing left of me.
to scrape off the road.

Spirit of the wheel.

Both vehicles approached a tunnel with an enclosed walkway on the right side.

Priss rode back onto the pavement and rode the length of the walkway, with the Starlight still driving on the road.

Corvax and his team-mates whooped with joy.

"Gonna catch ya, sugar thighs!" Butthead yelled as he got a bit of a lead on her.

Wheels of fire burn the night.
Ride across the sky.
Wheels of fire burning bright.
We live to ride.

Priss got to the end of the walkway and cut in front of the Starlight as it drove up the incline at the end of the tunnel and turned to follow her.

"Time to end this!" Priss smirked as she turned towards a multi-storey car park.

Clouds of smoke, tires screaming.
Fire in my hair.
Blown into a thousand pieces.
Scattered everywhere.

Priss rode towards an exit only opening on the ground floor and leaped the Streetfighter over the spikes that normally prevented anyone illegally entering.

"Not gonna lose me that easy, doll!" Butthead smirked as he drove towards a proper entrance opening and crashed through the barrier arm.

Fast, burn, burning, faster.
Wanna take a ride.
Spirit of the wheel.
Wheels of fire ride.

Spirit of the wheel.

Priss rode around the length and breadth of the ground parking level with the Starlight right on her tail.

"That's it, pal. Stay with me." she thought to herself as she turned a 180 and rode back the way they had come.

Soon, they were near the entrance again. But this time, Priss went towards an entrance-only opening, once again jumping over the spikes that were in place.

The Starlight followed her exact route. Corvax suddenly looked shocked as he saw the spikes.

"Butthead, NO!" he yelled.

Wheels of fire burn the night.
Ride across the sky.
Wheels of fire burning bright.
We live to ride.

The Starlight went over the spikes, blowing all four tires. In addition, there was the sound of wrenching metal as the undercarriage got a nasty scraping.

When the Starlight finally got out of the multi-storey, the engine compartment was smoking and the wheels were riding on their rims.

Wheels of fire burn the night.
Ride across the sky.
Wheels of fire burning bright.
We live to ride.

-"Wheels of Fire" by Manowar.

Team Corvax got out of the Starlight in dismay to check the damages.

They heard a horn honk and looked to see Priss looking at them smugly.

She flipped the visor of her helmet up and smirked.

"In answer to your earlier question, I'd say 'goodbye, little screw'!" she laughed as she flipped her visor closed and rode off in triumph.

"GODDAMN IT!" Butthead growled.

"It was your fault, buttmunch!" Beavis snapped.

"Shut up, dorkweed!" Butthead replied as he smacked Beavis upside the head.

"Both of you shut up!" yelled Corvax. "You useless beads of sweat from a horse's nether regions!"

They all started yelling at each other, but were soon drowned out by a roar of jet engines as a squad of Nod Carryalls carrying ground vehicles and assault troops flew overhead.

Up the road, Priss noticed this as well and looked concerned. She then noticed her comms device flashing and picked up the CB-like device.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"No time to explain, Priss." Howard's voice replied. "Find any other Cannonballers and get off the streets! The army has declared war on Cannonballers!"

"Great!" Priss sarcastically grumbled. "Where do we meet?"

"There's an abandoned factory outside the city limits. I'm sending you the route on your GPS now!" Howard replied.

"Roger." Priss said grimly.

---

Liam and Laura were marched into the main Reckoner and stood in front of the squad's leader.

"We're having some fun now, huh?" said Laura.

"Aye." said Liam.

"So, you are the team representing the MASK 2 team." said the leader. "Some of our members have had dealings with your group in the past. I think they're looking forward to facing you."

"The fun's just beginning." said Liam.

"Sir, there was a third member." the major reported. "He managed to escape. We've organized a search."

"Give them an hour or two. They'll find him." said the leader.

"Yeah right, they will." said Laura. "He's got a two hour head start which is more than he needs. We've got contacts in every village from here to the Sudan. We know every local custom and speak a dozen languages. He'll blend in, disappear. You'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got help already."

---

Max walked through a nearby village with the locals staring at him.

"Does anybody here speak English?" he asked. "Or maybe Spanish? Oh, no thanks. I had that for lunch."

He continued to walk through the marketplace, looking for a friendly face.

"Does anybody understand a word I'm saying here?" he finally asked in desperation.

"I do." said Clutch as he walked over.

"Oh, the Joe team. Thank goodness." said Max.

"What's going on here?" asked Stalker.

"The Dorajland army started another coup." said Max.

"What?" asked Rock 'n' Roll. "Someone's giving C.C. a run for his money."

"They've captured Laura and Liam." said Max. "They got the Maniac 2 as well."

"Sounds like a rescue is in order." said Shipwreck.

"Any ideas on how?" asked Max.

Snake-Eyes put his hand on Max's shoulder and pointed to himself. Max nodded to him.

---

In the courtyard of the abandoned factory mentioned by Howard, Priss pulled the Streetfighter up to a collection of vehicles that had huddled just inside a garage entrance. Along with Howard, Team Angels, Maxwell Smart and Hymie, Team Muppets, Buffy and her team, Mad Max and Jake, Xander Cage, MacGruber, Vicki, and Team NUMA were all there.

As Priss removed her helmet, Cage tensed.

"It's okay, X. She's with us." Dylan steadied him.

"Xander Cage!" Priss said in surprise. "I loved that video of you driving that asshole senator's car off that bridge!"

"Thanks, but we don't have time to discuss that now." Cage replied. "We have a huge situation here. I was able to contact Lone Wolf and a few more protectors who say they're going to try and find a way to breach the laser fence perimeter around the country so they can come and help us. But that could take a while."

"Ethan, Snake and Rico were able to contact a few more Cannonballers who are already in the country. Some of them are on their way now with those three to help us, but some others are content to just travel in a convoy and try to avoid Nod attacks." Maxwell Smart added.

"Welcome to my world." Mad Max chipped in. "I can think of a few ways we could handle these arseholes."

"Let me guess." Buffy said. "If one gets on the roof of your car, slam on the brakes? Or shotgun blast through the roof? Or maybe let him tag along until he falls off from the speed?"

"I have been known to use those methods, but I have sometimes used non-lethal force." Max said defensively. "How did you know my usual techniques anyway?"

"One of my buddies, currently being traned as a watcher by Giles, is a grade-A sci-fi nut. So, it figures he knows his post-apocalyptic stuff." Buffy smirked.

"Even all the cheap knock-offs that were made?" asked Jake in surprise.

"People, please. We need to focus here." Veronica said firmly.

"Right!" everybody chorused.

"So, where does all this leave us for now?" asked Jordan.

"It makes sense that Kane is holding Jarod somewhere in the country." Vicki said. "Like most power hungry dirtbags, he would get off on feeling smug that he has the solution to our problem right under our noses so he can laugh at us."

"Great point, Vic." said MacGruber. "I knew it wasn't just your looks that I kept you around for."

"Excuse me?" Vicki said indignanty as she put her hands on her hips.

"So, how do we find Jarod then?" asked Kermit.

"Right ahead of you." said Hymie as his eyes started to glow and he went into a kind of trance.

"What's he doing?" asked Alex.

"Scanning." 99 replied.

"I've picked up a signal." Hymie said. "It has the word 'Pretender' attached to it."

"That's Jarod." Natalie said excitedly. "He must have a homing device on him."

"Smart guy." said MacGruber as he got into the Chinchilla and activated its onboard computer.

"Please enter pass-phrase." the computer said in a tinny voice.

MacGruber sighed and cleared his throat.

"Flash, I love you! But we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!" he said.

He blushed as he could sense everybody else giggling under their breath.

"Okay, I'm online." he said. "Hymie, can you send the signal to my computer?"

"Right away." said Hymie as his eyes glowed again. As they did this time, he let out a high-pitched squeal that caused everybody to cover their ears.

"Who uses a dial-up modem in this day and age?!" complained Howard.

"You should meet 80s Robot." Kermit said.

"What's that? Like a Domestobot?" asked Xander.

"A bit." Rizzo said.

After the noise stopped, a map of Dorajland came up on MacGruber's display, with the blip marked 'Pretender' appearing about ten miles outside Yendys.

"Got it." MacGruber said.

"Good." said Xander. "Mac, you can go and rescue Jarod and the rest of us will rally forces here in the city and make sure Nod don't hurt any citizens."

"Are you sure he can handle it alone?" asked 99.

"I won't be alone. Vic'll be with me." said MacGruber.

"Alright." sighed Vicki as she climbed into the Chinchilla.

"Oh, Kermit! Can we go too?" asked Gonzo. "Me and Fozzie, I mean!".

"What?" asked Kermit, stunned.

"Well, it would be nice to beat the bad guys on our own for once." said Fozzie. "Ma would be proud of me even more if I got a medal for saving an African president."

"It's dangerous, you guys." said Rizzo. Remembering that Gonzo was volunteering, he then sighed. "So, of course you want to go."

"Kermit, I give you my word as the Earth emissary of my people that we'll come back in one piece." Gonzo said as he put his right hand over his heart.

Kermit sighed deeply and then nodded.

"Okay, go ahead."

"Hop in, you guys." said MacGruber.

---

The Nod soldiers threw Liam and Laura into the back of an Emissary vehicle and loaded the Maniac 2 onto another.

"Take them to headquarters." ordered the leader.

"Hopefully, we can be rescued." said Laura.

"What about Max?" asked Liam. "Maybe he got us some help."

"Are you kidding?" asked Laura. "You know Max. He once got lost in his own neighborhood."

The two Emissaries started off for the capital. Stalker watched from the brush. He got on his radio.

"Okay, guys." he said. "The transports have taken off and are heading your way."

"Roger that." said Shipwreck. "Time for Snakes to do his thing."

---

Just outside Moyale in Kenya, the local police had set up a routine D.U.I. check.

As the lead officer waved one motorist through after seeing her license, he heard the sound of a powerful engine coming to an abrupt halt and the sound of said engine revving in an angry way.

"(Alright, let's see what this comedian's problem is.)" he said as he went to look at the culprit vehicle.

It was the Regalo, and Yogi was still behind the wheel. The other wacky Racers still looked very nervous.

"Yogi, please don't aggravate these officers any more than they already are." Ranger Smith begged.

"While they're holding us up, Dastardly's gaining ground." Yogi replied. "I'm not wearing a dress in Antarctica for anybody!"

As the lead officer approached the Regalo, Yogi suddenly performed a burnout and swerved the car expertly around the approaching officer, making sure not to hit him.

"(Crazy bastard!)" the cop yelled.

Yogi performed expert turns and drifts around the other officers and the other cars being held up. At one point, he turned the wheels and drifted sideways to avoid hitting a large SUV.

Once they were in the clear, he got the Regalo back in a straight line and hit their nitrous, roaring off down the highway leading through the Bokhol Plain.

"(Get after that son of a bitch!)" the head cop yelled to his subordinates.

"(You can if you want to.)" one of the others replied. "(We're not chasing a motorist who's THAT crazy!)"

The head cop cursed under his breath.

---

As night began to fall, the Chinchilla stopped at the mouth of an abandoned mine.

"Here it is." said Vicki. "The tracking device led us here."

"Well, the President's not going to rescue himself." said MacGruber. They got out of the car and entered the mine.

"I wonder if Jarod's going to give us a special prize." said Fozzie.

"I hope it's a refrigerator magnet." said Gonzo.

Vicki followed the tracker into the former office of the mine. MacGruber, Fozzie, and Gonzo followed her. She stopped in the middle of the room and looked around.

"I don't see anything." she said. She looked down and froze. "Guys?" she said. "I think we have a problem." She picked up a ring with the presidential emblem on it.

The door to the office slammed shut and locked. Kane's voice came over the speakers.

"My dear Cannonballers, did you really think I wouldn't notice a tracking device on the president's person? Especially one easily removed from the body? You guys are so gullible sometimes. This time, it will cost you. Ta ta."

Vicki ran to the door and tried to open it. It wouldn't open. She looked out the window in the door. "MacGruber!" she said. "The door is locked and Kane has rigged the exterior with high explosives!"

"Oh!" said Fozzie. "I've bombed in several places, but this is the first time a place has bombed me!"

"Okay, nobody panic!" said MacGruber. "I'm gonna get us out of this. Vicki, how much time do we have?"

"Thirty seconds, MacGruber." said Vicki.

"Okay." said MacGruber. "Vicki, hand me those wire cutters."

"Got it." said Vicki.

"Gonzo, give me those pliers." said MacGruber.

"Will do!" said Gonzo.

"Fozzie, give me a promise that your team will leave Africa last." said MacGruber.

"Got it." said Fozzie. "WHAT?"

"I've got a bet on another team and I need you to take a dive." said MacGruber.

"No way!" said Fozzie.

"Twenty seconds, MacGruber!" announced Vicki.

"Look, it's simple." said MacGruber. "You just have to keep it in first the whole way and you'll easily come in last."

"Don't you think people would get suspicious?" asked Fozzie. "It's a race and I might not be able to convincingly pull off the deception."

"Ten seconds!" yelled Vicki.

"With all the crazy driving going on, no one's going to notice one driver not doing their best." said MacGruber.

"But what about the principle of the thing?" asked Fozzie. "How would it look if a beloved children's character ignored his values?"

"You say that like I should give a..." said MacGruber before being cut off by the explosion.

A massive fireball erupted from the mine as the explosives detonated. Shortly afterward, MacGruber and Vicki staggered out of the mine with their clothes seriously damaged.

Fozzie and Gonzo walked out after them. Fozzie's fur was fire-blacked and his hat trailed smoke. Gonzo's nose had been twisted out of shape.

"Well, that wasn't so bad." said Fozzie.

"Good thing Kane's men can't place explosives to save their lives." said MacGruber.

"Call me if you want to do that again." said Gonzo.

---

The Manhattan Spirit roared down a highway leading out of Yendys. Missy drove while Sissy and Chrissy stood in the back and gloated over Silent Bob who was lying on a gurney.

He began to stir and woke up to see Sissy holding a gun on him while she and Chrissy grinned.

"Finally awake, I see." Sissy laughed. "Sorry if we were too hard when we took you, but I think that after what you two losers did for us back in Hollywood that you don't even deserve subtlety."

Both she and Chrissy laughed.

"You made a big mistake, ladies." Silent Bob said.

"What? Forgetting to take that stupid hat off your ugly-ass head?" asked Chrissy as she sneered at how ridiculous she found the Bluntman headgear.

"As far as I know, it doesn't give you any special powers like the Chaos mask does for that comic book geek you call a friend." Sissy said.

"Apart from making you look an even bigger dork than usual." laughed Chrissy

"Actually, it's that you forgot to tie me down." said Bob as he quickly reached to a nearby shelf in the back of the ambulance and grabbed a glass jar with yellow liquid in it.

Before Sissy or Chrissy could react, he threw the contents into Chrissy's face, causing her to shriek and close her eyes.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Chrissy yelled.

"Don't think my body mass automatically means I'm slow." laughed Silent Bob.

Sissy was livid. "That's the last time I'm letting you diss us, you tub of lard!" yelled Sissy as she angrily kicked the gurney.

"WHOA!" yelled Bob. The force of Sissy's kick was so strong that the back door of the Manhattan Spirit popped open and the gurney tipped out onto the highway, with Bob still on it.

A strong piece of material attached to the gurney kept it attached as the Manhattan Spirit sped on. As the distracted Missy swerved to avoid crashing, Bob held on for dear life.

Sissy was firing shots at him from her gun but had trouble hitting him.

"Hold still, you chubby dickweed!" she yelled.

"HEY! This my best overcoat!" Bob yelled.

"Hey, Silent Bob!" Bart Simpson's voice yelled.

Bob looked to his left and saw the Kowalski in the lane next to him.

"Are you gonna die?" Bart asked.

"BART! That's not funny!" said Marge who was at the wheel. "We have to help him!".

Marge got alongside the Manhattan Spirit and rammed into its side. It nearly caused Sissy to fall out the back door and made the piece of material connecting the gurney to the ambulance finaly tear.

Bob turned pale as the gurney was now rolling down the highway at high speed.

"How Am I Driving?" he asked himself. "1-800-I'm Gonna Frackin' Die!"

"Oops." said Marge as she saw what had happened.

"You REALLY need to get your Road Rage problem in check, honey." Homer sighed.

Bob looked up ahead and saw that a set of tollbooths were up ahead.

"Exact change?! Goddamn it!" he yelled to himself. He quickly reached into his wallet and counted out some African currency.

As the gurney rolled up to the barrier arm approaching in Bob's lane, he threw the coins into the bin. Thankfully, the arm raised and the gurney rolled through.

The Manhattan Spirit and the Kowalski both crashed through the barrier arm in the lane on Bob's right.

Missy kept her eyes on the gurney as Sissy rejoined her in the front.

"Run that pudgy shitstain down!" Sissy yelled.

Chrissy stuck her head into the front. "Yeah, make roadkill out of him!"

Missy's nostrils twitched a bit. "What smells like piss?"

"Shut up!" yelled Chrissy.

While Missy was distracted, Marge used the Kowalski to do a PIT manuever and spun the Manhattan Spirit out. This caused the ambulance to go off the road and towards a low clearing under an overpass.

The old ambulance slammed head on into the clearing and immediately stuck there, due to the sirens on the roof.

"SHIT!" the three girls yelled.

"I wonder if they're okay." Bob joked to himself as his gurney finally came to a halt.

The Kowalski pulled up alongside him and stopped.

"Want a lift back to your team?" Marge asked. "We heard they're still in the city."

"Thank you very much, guys!" Bob said.

Maggie laughed and clapped her hands in joy.

"Hold on a second." Bob then said seriously. He reached into his pocket and took out two packs of cigarettes and his lighter and threw both away.

"Don't want to give the kids bad ideas." he explained to Homer and Marge.

"That's very kind of you." Marge smiled.

"Ehhh, they'll probably pick some up by themselves later in life." Homer sighed.

---

The convoy of Emissaries drove down a dirt road towards Yendys. The driver of the vehicle carrying Liam and Laura watched the road ahead of him while his guard looked out the window at the scenery.

The vehicle approached a pass between two embankments. Suddenly, an explosion went off and a landslide poured into the lead Emissary, knocking it into the opposite embankment.

The guard lifted his head and saw the driver was knocked unconscious. He then grabbed his weapon and climbed out.

He saw the driver and guard from the other Emissary approach him. The other guard signaled the driver to stay with the vehicles. The guards then walked over to the landslide and started to check it out.

Meanwhile, Snake Eyes jumped off the embankment and landed behind the driver. He then put the driver in a headlock, ripped off his helmet, and knocked him out.

Snake Eyes then took out his sword and sliced open the lock on the rear doors. He pulled the doors open and signaled Liam and Laura to remain quiet. He took out an electronic lockpick for their bonds as they smiled at him.

The two guards finished their inspection of the landslide and returned to the Emissaries. They found the driver lying unconscious and ran over. As they checked him out, they heard an engine start. They looked up to see the Maniac 2 had been started.

Liam drove the Maniac 2 down the front of the Emissary and performed a spinout. He then raced off in the opposite direction. The guards raised their weapons, but the Maniac 2 was already gone.

---

Team Mario, Team Drake, and Team Fairlane were now in the same convoy as Team Bluth, Team Sims, and the Megere team. A couple more had joined them, such as Team Rocket, Team Rush and the Fleetline driver .

"Brilliant!" Jessie grumbled sarcastically in the Peligro. "I regain my sanity after what happened in Greece and now yet another thing has happened that would drive somebody mad!"

"What's driving US mad is having to listen to your goddamn whining." said Cole over the radio. "And I thought your boyfriend there was the whiny one."

Jessie and James both turned red, with Jessie looking outraged.

"He is NOT my boyfriend!" Jessie yelled.

"Tell that to some of the YouTube users who've made videos about the two of you." Venom teased.

"Glad someone's trying to keep a bit of good humour around here." David remarked.

"Uh, guys, I hate to break up a fascinating conversation, but we ARE being followed." Ty remarked.

"How did you spot 'em?" asked Trikz

"Mystery Man there just sent me a text." Ty replied, nodding to Fleetline guy.

"You exchanged numbers?" asked Lana.

"Only to keep track with each other as to how our little side-bet is going." Trikz confirmed. "Still didn't give us his handle, though."

"How did HE know we were being followed?" Lana asked.

"Nothing gets past me, pretty lady." FG said over the radio. "And I tend to notice when a strange-looking pack of vehicles keeps trying to simultaneously keep pace with me and yet keep their distance."

"Who is it? Those soldiers?" asked Bob. "Do they have grilled cheese?"

"No. It's those guys in the muscle cars with the tinted windows and crash helmets. There's only three of them, but the Charger's carrying two." FG said.

"So many assholes. So little time." Ford grumbled.

"Are we coming up on any civilisation?" asked Don.

Ron checked Google Maps on his phone again while the Drake and Venom sighed deeply at seeing him pulling it out again.

"There's just an old ghost town up ahead. We'll be there in about ten minutes." said Ron.

"How far behind us are those sleazeoids?" asked Jazz.

"About fifteen minutes behind, but gaining a bit." said FG.

"Sounds like we got time to make a stand." smirked the Drake.

"Not more danger!" whined James.

"Oh, grow a set for God's sake!" Giovanni snapped.

"He has a point." said Bella. "Maybe a more subtle approach will work. We can save a scuffle for a last resort."

"Well, then, let's do it." said Darryl. "Show them that we are righteous!"

"Okay. Pedals to the metal, everybody!" said Sonic. "We'll give 'em a welcome party they won't forget!"

"I've got some little toys in my trunk which should help out." FG chuckled.

---

"What we've got here is a problem." said Lone Wolf. "Over there is the border with Dorajland. Unfortunately, the Brotherhood of Nod has it cut off from its neighbors. Getting past them would be difficult at best and even if we did, they'd still get the message out to their superiors that we're in the country. If anyone has any ideas, I'd like to hear them."

"Nothing comes to mind." said Bulletproof. "It looks like Kane has all the bases covered. All entrances are covered and going over will surely get us detected."

They heard an engine and looked to see Skeeter's van approaching. He parked and climbed out. "Michael said I should come help you." he said.

"Well, join the brainstorming session." said Hardtop. "We still don't have an idea of how to enter the country."

"Hang on." said Skeeter. "I gotta take a whiz first."

Banner and his men spied on the protectors from the trees.

"Daddy, let's go get them." whispered Junior.

"Buford, does your son understand proper police procedure?" asked Banner.

"He doesn't even understand the alphabet." said Buford.

Virginia snuck up behind Banner. "What are you doing?" she whispered.

"We're performing a stakeout." said Banner.

"On whom?" asked Clouseau as he and Cato snuck up behind him.

"Those men." said Banner. "The protectors of the Cannonball Run entrants."

"The Cannonball Run entrants." said Virginia. "Would that include Dominic Toretto?"

"Excuse me, but who the hell are you?" asked Banner.

"Virginia Fairchild, parole officer, Los Angeles Police Department."

"And I am Inspector Clouseau of the Paris police."

"I am in pursuit of a parole violator who is in the race." said Virginia.

"And I am 'ere for justeese." said Clouseau.

"Just ease?" asked Willenholly.

"Justeese." said Clouseau.

"Just e's?" asked Bender.

"Justeese." said Clouseau.

"Quiet!" whispered Banner. "Something's happening."

Skeeter ran back to the protectors. "Guys?" he asked. "I think I found something that might help! Come on!"

He led the protectors to a boarded up cave.

"What do you have here?" asked Highway.

"While I was peeing, I heard something hollow." said Skeeter. "I think there might be something in there."

Hardtop walked over to the cave. "It appears to be an abandoned mine." he said. "It appears to be wide enough for cars to enter."

"Dorajland has quite a lot of mines." said Bullseye.

"Not surprising." said Lone Wolf. "Their economy was based on the mining and export of iridium. Most of their mines have been run dry."

"The iridium from this mine just might be in our vehicles' spark plugs." said Bulletproof. "But can this mine get us into Dorajland?"

"One way to find out." said Hardtop. He activated a camera drone and sent it into the mine.

---

A battalion of PALM soldiers sat waiting with weapons ready at a blockade of their attack SUVs and motorcycles on the long highway between Lodwar and Kitale in Kenya. They were waiting to intercept Michael Knight as he made his way to deal with Garthe.

"(How long do we have to be here?)" complained one soldier.

"(You heard Mr. Knight! Michael Knight has to come this way according to where KARR tracked his transmission.)" another said. "(We have to make sure he doesn't live to see morning, let alone make it to the meeting. So, quit whining!)"

A soldier watching over the radar picked up a blip.

"(Sir! I'm tracking Michael Knight now! He's about a mile from here!)"

"(Everybody into position!)" the head soldier yelled.

The PALM men took up their postions with machine guns, RPGs, and assault rifles ready.

As they waited, they suddenly looked confused as they heard the sounds of three other engines approaching. The radar op checked his display again, but could see nothing else approaching.

Just then, two sets of bright headlights came on about 500 feet away, showing two vehicles driving side by side. It was the Reckoning and the Wildchild.

Keith and Robert were hanging out the two rear windows of the Reckoning while Claude stood up out of the custom roof hatch they had put in with his machine gun ready.

Richard had activated a series of mounted guns in the front of the Wildchild and also had his own gun pointed out of the driver's side window.

"Remember, tranqs for the soldiers and live ammo for the vehicles." Alan called from the driver's seat of the Reckoning.

"Ten-four!" Richard replied

A few of the PALM soldiers tried to fire but were quickly downed by tranq bullets fired by Richard, Keith and Robert from their sidearms.

Others had to take cover as the PALM vehicles were hit by live ammo fire from Claude's machine gun and the mounted guns on the Wildchild.

A few of the soldiers panicked and ran for cover as their comrades fell unconscious and their vehicles were being cut to shreds. Some of them helped to move the fallen soldiers away as they saw that the next stage of this sneak attack was coming as the Wildchild and the Reckoning broke ranks and drove off the road.

A loud air-horn blared and the FLAG semi now made an approach. On its front, a heavy duty set of fenders had been attached. In the driver's seat, RC3 pressed a button and the fenders extended out to become a battering ram.

A few of the soldiers at the roadside tried to shoot the truck, but the bullets deflected off of it.

The semi ploughed into the wrecked vehicles and cleared the road completely.

In the wake of the three vehicles, the Barbarian appeared and casually drove through the cleared roadblock.

"Hell of a mess, huh KITT?" Michael joked.

"Very funny, Michael." KITT deadpanned.

Two PALM soldiers angrily ran off into the desert for a few yards and got on a pair of motorcycles they had kept as a back-up. They mounted them, put their helmets on, and started their bikes up.

As the Barbarian moved around to the side of the FLAG semi, Michael spoke to Bonnie over the comms.

"So, a new stealth device so radar couldn't pick the truck or the other guys up and new armour for the truck too?" Michael asked.

"Yep. The stealth device was based on something used by the Air Raid chopper the C.O.P.S. in Empire City use." Bonnie said. "Plus, I figured it would help if Goliath also met something its own size to pick on for once. The armour's not as strong as the MBS, but still tough."

"You were indeed busy, Bonnie." KITT added. "Do you ever sleep?"

"Only physically." Bonnie replied mischievously.

The two PALM motorcyclists were catching up and activated machine guns mounted on the front of their bikes. They started to strafe the FLAG convoy with gunfire.

"Guess those guys can't count." Michael said. "Son, you're up." he then added over the comms.

"Roger." Mike Traceur's voice added as he came up a short distance behind the bikes in KITT 3000. As he got a safe distance away from the cycles, he pressed a button marked 'Twin Turbo' and KITT 3000 jumped to a very high speed.

"Pleased to meet you, gentlemen." KITT 3000 smugly said as he turned on his highbeams and let the PALM bikers see that he was right on top of them.

KITT 3000 practically scraped the rear wheels of both motorcycles and they tried to avoid him.

Mike stayed with them and forced them towards an approaching guard rail at a hard left turn.

The bikes crashed and the soldiers were thrown from them and fell down a steep embankment.

KITT 3000 came to a halt to have a look at what happened. His scanner pulsed red as he checked the condition of the soldiers.

"More than a little bruised and a few broken bones, Michael, but they'll live." he said.

"Good job." Mike said as he contacted the others. "No fatalities, guys, but we've beat Garthe's first attempt to hold us back."

"Roger." Richard replied.

"You can bet now that there'll be others." Michael said. "I hope the guys who went through Dorajland are having it easier than this."

---

The G. and MASK 2 teams looked over their cars in a small town.

"Well, everything looks to be in order." said Clutch.

"Yeah, I think it's time to head out." said Liam.

"Thanks, guys." said Max. "That was a big one."

"Don't worry about it." said Stalker. "Let's just say you owe us a favor."

The teams returned to their cars.

"I would have offered to heal that guy's injuries." said Laura. "However, he managed to pull off the rescue without harm to himself."

"Dude's a natural." said Max.

The Joes pulled out and drove off. The MASK agents climbed into the Maniac 2.

"Okay, let's get going and hopefully, no more drama." said Liam.

The Usagi pulled up in front of them.

"Guys, we need your help with a new threat." said Veronica.

"Oh, for Pete's sake." said Liam.

"Can you define 'new threat'?" asked Laura.

The ABC Robot tore through a nearby building.

"That." said Buffy.

"Is that one of Dr. Frankenstein's toys?" asked Max.

"I don't know." said Veronica. "But someone's getting it back broken."

Liam and Laura climbed out of the Maniac 2. Max transformed the car.

"Watch as the wily uberdude carefully tracks his prey." said Max.

He trained the Maniac 2's cannons on the Robot and fired. The shots connected with the ABC Robot's torso, but didn't do any damage.

"That's not good." said Max. "That's not good at all!"

"Try the missiles!" yelled Laura.

"Wait, let me try something else!" said Liam. "Twister, on!"

His mask projected a pair of tornadoes. They engulfed the ABC Robot and lifted it into the air. The Robot fell back to the ground unharmed.

"This is not going well!" said Liam.

"Duh!" snapped Max.

"We went to these guys for help?" asked Veronica.

"I think we could use a new plan." said Jordan.

"Right." said Buffy. "Normal methods aren't working. Maybe we should try something supernatural."

"But who?" asked Veronica.

"Wait, that guy who was with Rockatansky?" said Jordan. "There was something off about him."

"You think we should call him?" asked Buffy.

"I'll get on the radio." said Veronica.

Liam, Laura, and Max continued to attack the ABC Robot.

"Now, should I try the missiles?" asked Max.

"Might as well." said Liam. "We tried everything else."

"Hey, I haven't tried anything!" said Laura.

"Like what?" snapped Liam. "Heal the thing?"

"Well, it worked with the vampires!" said Laura.

The Black Knight raced into town and screeched to a halt. Max Rockatansky and Jake climbed out.

"So what seems to be the...holy crap!" yelled Mad Max.

"Oh good, the cavalry's arrived." said Buffy.

"You can forget attacking it!" said Liam. "We've been hitting it with our best!"

"Guess it's our turn." said Jake. He pulled out his shotgun and ran towards the Robot.

"He's kind of a cockeyed optimist." said Mad Max as he took out his shotgun and joined him.

Jake and Mad Max stood before the ABC Robot with their shotguns trained on it.

"Aim for the joints?" asked Jake.

"That's the plan." said Mad Max.

"Of course!" groaned Max O'Grady. "Attack the joints!"

Mad Max fired at the Robot's right knee while Jake fired on the left shoulder. The Robot dropped a little as its knee buckled and its left arm hung at an odd angle.

"They're doing it." said Jordan.

Mad Max fired at the Robot's hip joint. The Robot started to limp. Jake fired on its neck. The head tilted slightly to the side.

"It's working, but not fast enough." said Laura.

"My, aren't we impatient?" said Jake.

"Hey, you should have a sitcom." said Max O'Grady.

"I have an idea." said Veronica. "See that gas station? What do gas stations have?"

"A gold-colored, highly explosive liquid." said Buffy.

"I get it." said Liam. "We lead him into the station and blow it sky high."

"I'm on it." said Max O'Grady. He fired his cannons at the Robot, then transformed the Maniac 2 back into a car. He drove towards the gas station slowly and watched as the Robot followed him.

"That's it, big boy." said Buffy. "Head towards the station full of boom."

Max O'Grady drove between the pumps and parked on the other side of the street. He transformed the Maniac 2 back into a tank.

"Steady, steady." said Jake.

The ABC Robot walked between the pumps.

"Now!" yelled Jake.

Max O'Grady fired the Maniac 2's guns and hit the pumps. The gas station blew up in a massive fireball.

"Well, that was a pretty big boom!" said Buffy. "I don't see how he could possibly survive that!"

"I hope not!" said Jordan. "Then we just destroyed the town's only gas station for nothing!"

The racers watched the burning gas station. Max O'Grady changed the Maniac 2 back into a car.

"Looks like that's that." said Liam.

"Don't be so sure." said Veronica.

The remains of the ABC Robot crawled out of the fire. The head, spinal column, and right arm were all that were left.

"What do we have to do stop this thing? Pants him?" asked Jordan.

The ABC Robot raised its arm to fire. However, the power cable for the cannons no longer connected to anything.

"I think we already stopped him." said Max O'Grady.

"Yeah, he's no longer a threat." said Buffy. "Loser."

"Let's go." said Jordan.

The racers returned to their vehicles and took off. The Usagi and Maniac 2 raced off in one direction while the Black Knight tore off in the other. The ABC Robot continued to drag itself across the street. That's when the Black Knight came racing back and ran it over, destroying it completely.

"That's your idea of a mercy killing?" Jake joked at Mad Max.

---

Lone Wolf got ready to enter the tunnel. "We're ready to enter." he said into the radio. "Hardtop's drone revealed that the tunnel runs all the way to Dorajland."

"Good luck in there." said Brock.

"Your combat skills will be put to the test." said J.J. "That's a terrorist army you're dealing with in there. I hope for your victory and survival."

"We're counting on you guys." said Victor. "I'll have lunch waiting for you when you get back."

Virginia climbed into the Orange Crush. "So, we're going to follow them." she said.

"They have a direct path into Dorajland." said Banner. "And that means we can get those Cannonballers."

"Quick question." said Highway. "How are we going to get through the boards?"

"Like this." said Skeeter. He put his van into gear and rammed the boards. They quickly fell off and he drove through.

"Oh, Lone Wolf." said Brock. "Jimmy Eat World wanted to give you some well wishing."

"Hey, what's up, Lone Wolf?" asked Jim Adkins.

"We wanted to wish you luck on your mission of protection." said Rick Burch.

"Yeah, we've got a major bet on Mario's team." said Zach Lind.

"And we've got a little song to drive you on." said Tom Linton.

Tom started on his guitar as the protectors entered the tunnel. Banner and the other cops (along with Virginia and Clouseau) drove in after them as Zach took to his drums.

"Hey, Bulletproof!" said Highway. "We've got some new friends back there!"

"I see them." said Bulletproof. "Looks like Banner's come out to play."

"Got it." said Lone Wolf as he floored the accelerator. Jim started to sing.

Revolution, we're the solution.
We're gonna take it to the overload.
Rebel, radical retribution.
We're here to get what we are owed.

Lone Wolf swerved around a support pillar and entered the right side of a dividing wall. Banner kept to the left and accelerated.

I think my head, my head is gonna explode.
I think my head is gonna explode.
I think my brain is gonna overload.
I think my head is gonna explode.

Montoya accelerated and closed in on Highway. Highway noticed her and banked into the passage next to him.

We're unified in a sonic nation.
Leave all the fakers and the lies behind.
You want to meet us in a confrontation.
Our psychic weapons will destroy your mind.

Virginia pulled into the right side of the tunnel and passed Skeeter. Skeeter got on the brakes.

I think my head, my head is gonna explode.
I think my head is gonna explode.
I think my brain is gonna overload.
I think my head is gonna explode.

Clouseau maneuvered in front of Highway's Turbo Cycle. Highway swerved into the other side of the tunnel.

Now is the time, yeah.
To do it right.
Take no more lies.
Make up your mind, yeah.

Willenholly swerved around the Euros into the other side of the tunnel. That's when he noticed the tunnel was about to go to one lane.

The witch doctors and the politicians.
They rule by fear and try to keep us down.
But they can't see that these conditions.
Will spark the fury of the underground.

"Bail out!" yelled Amos. Willenholly threw open the door of the Nightcrawler and he and Amos jumped out.

I see it on the global transmission.
It's almost ready to overload.
I see a dark apocalyptic vision.
One minute now, the world is gonna explode.

Willenholly and Amos dove onto the rear of the Euros as the Nightcrawler crashed into the wall and exploded.

I think my head, my head is gonna explode.
I think my head is gonna explode.
I think my brain is gonna overload.
I think my head is gonna explode.

Banner and his men slowed down when they saw the Nightcrawler crash. Skeeter and Highway retook their positions.

I think my head, my head is gonna explode.
I think my head is gonna explode.
I think my brain is gonna overload.
I think my head is gonna explode.

"I see the exit!" yelled Lone Wolf. He aimed the Silver Bullet at the boarded up tunnel entrance and plowed through. The other protectors and cops poured out after him.

Revolution, we're the solution.
Revolution, we're the solution.

-"Meltdown" by Ash.

Lone Wolf and the others raced for the highway.

"Must have been a rockin' performance." said Highway.

"Yeah." said Lone Wolf. "Too bad we couldn't hear it since we were underground."

"Now, let's take them in." said Banner.

He went to make his move and got cut off by a tractor trailer. The protectors made their way further into the country while the cops found themselves unable to pursue.

"Is this the way you normally run your operations?" asked Virginia.

---

The Killer Cars pulled into the ghost town and looked around for any signs of the Cannonballers they had been following.

They could see no sign of the Cannonballers or their vehicles.

"Something stinks here." AMX remarked. "Any recommendations?"

"Let's go and look for the bastards and see if they want to play." Camaro replied.

"Gear up." said Charger as the four assassins put their helmets on and got their guns ready.

The four got out of their three vehicles and started to stalk carefully around the town.

As their attention was distracted, Ford Fairlane climbed out of the back of an old truck trailer, accompanied by Michael and Buster Bluth, Joe Astor, Trikz and James from Team Rocket. Joe carried a toolkit.

"Okay. Time to give these assholes the same kind of trouble they've been giving us." Trikz whispered as he passed out a few tools to each of the group.

"Are you guys sure you can handle vehicle sabotage?" Ford asked James and the Bluths.

"Oh, please." snorted James. "In all the years we chased the twerp and his Pikachu around, our team had much experience with building and maintaining various mechs. I know what I'm doing."

"Okay. How about you guys?" Trikz asked Michael as Buster took a pair of pliers and went to work on the Charger.

"Well, you know of how our family made its money in construction, Joe." Michael said. "I'm sure that vehicular sabotage will be no problem for us."

"Uh, Michael..." Buster spoke up awkwardly.

Michael turned to look at Buster and saw that he had managed to get the Charger's door slightly open but not unlocked and had caught the front portion of his pants in the crack.

Michael sighed deeply and rolled his eyes. He pulled Buster free, ripping his pants in the process.

"You just keep a look out instead, okay?" Ford sighed.

Meanwhile, Camaro and Charger had entered an old cafe and looked around with caution.

For a brief second a strange wind seemed to blow through the building, which spooked the pair a bit.

Camaro suddenly went stiff for a second and dropped his gun. He then removed his helmet.

"What in the f..." Charger started.

Before he could finish, he felt a sudden electric shock go through his body.

He twitched and fell to the ground unconscious. As he fell down, one of Bob Newbie's SentryBots was revealed. It had shocked Charger unconscious.

"Shocking. Absolutely shocking." Bob's voice said through a speaker on the SentryBot in an imitation of Sean Connery's voice.

Camaro watched all of this with a curiously blank expression on his face. Suddenly, he punched himself in the jaw.

"Hey, don't hit yourself!" he said with Elizabeth's voice. From the back room, David and Darryl laughed as they knew that Elizabeth had possessed Camaro shortly after he had walked in.

Elizabeth made Camaro punch himself again.

"Hey, come on! Don't hit yourself!" she joked. "I think you're going to knock yourself out!"

Elizabeth had Camaro pick his gun up and turn it around. She then had him hit himself on the back of the head with the butt of the gun.

"Told ya so." Elizabeth joked as she left Camaro's body and he fell down unconscious.

"Righteous!" Darryl whispered.

"Well done, sweetheart." David smiled.

"Thanks, but remind me never to do that again." Elizabeth said as she held her head. "Because I now have a bit of a headache!"

Outside in the town square, Jessie, Meowth, and Giovanni leaned out of an upstairs window on an old police station as Stingray and AMX walked past.

"SURPRISE!" Meowth yelled as the three of them dropped some small but powerful sphere bombs to the ground.

"SHIT!" yelled Stingray as she and AMX dove for cover before being caught up in the miniature blast.

As they avoided the explosion, the two of them got ready to fire their guns. They soon came under fire from Ty and FG who were at the top of a water tower armed with machine pistols.

The two of them made sure not to do any serious harm, but just keep the two assassins pinned down.

"Take them out!" yelled Stingray as she fired shots from her machine gun.

Ty and FG made sure to avoid the shots aimed at them by ducking behind the water tower's tank.

Team Rocket caused even more trouble by throwing some more small bombs. They made sure not to hit anywhere near Stingray and AMX but just make sure they didn't escape.

On top of a high billboard, Mario and Luigi both used Fire Flowers on themselves and added to the attack by shooting fireballs.

Tails joined in by flying over the two assassins and dropping a smoke bomb to blind them.

"Goddamn it!" yelled AMX.

On the roof of a garage, Venom kept the two of them pinned down even more by firing shots from a sniper rifle.

He also didn't hit them but just kept them pinned down.

"They're a bunch of tenacious bastards." Ron said, nearby.

"Give 'em enough time. They'll run out of ammo or guts soon enough. Maybe both." the Drake added.

Back at the villains' cars, Joe had finished his act of sabotage on the AMX and headed back for cover.

Ford tinkered under the Stingray. He looked over at James who worked on the Charger. James looked like he had no clue what he was doing.

"Come on, Liberace! You're draggin' your ass!" Ford taunted.

"Oh yeah?!" James said. "I bet I can get it finished before you do!"

"Forget that!" Ford said. "I bet we can take all four of these dickheads out before you even break a sweat!"

"You're on!" yelled James as he resumed cranking even harder with his wrench.

Over at the square, Stingray and AMX had run out of ammo. The Cannonballers saw this and ceased their assault.

"Let's get out of here!" yelled AMX as he and Stingray ran.

"Kill ya later, morons!" Stingray threatened. "Count on it!"

Ford rolled out from under the Stingray and ran for the Overlord which had pulled up nearby.

"Get in! Quick!" Jazz yelled as she sat at the steering wheel.

As Stingray and AMX ran over, they both saw the Overlord do a reverse 180 and head out of the town after Ford jumped in.

"Son of a bitch!" AMX yelled. "We're going after Fonzie there!"

"You bet!" Stingray replied as she ran for her Corvette and fired it up.

As Stingray drove off at high speed after the Overlord, AMX got into his car and prepared to follow.

Just as he started the engine and tried to drive forward, there was a scraping noise.

The body of the car roared forward and then hit the ground.

AMX looked out in shock and realised that the wheels had been sawn off at the axle.

"SHIT!" he yelled.

Before he could react, another of Bob's SentryBots hovered over and extended its shocker arm in through AMX's window and shocked him into unconsciousness as well.

"I had a feeling your robot crafting station would come in handy." Mortimer said as he patted Bob on the back in their hiding spot.

"No problem." smirked Bob.

Stingray pursued the Overlord along a salt flat outside the town.

Jazz went hell-for-leather and made good time on the Corvette.

"Are you sure she'll use her nitrous?" asked Don.

"She'll have to if she wants to catch up!" Ford replied.

Stingray reached into her glove compartment and took out a Desert Eagle.

Keeping one hand on the steering wheel and one foot on the accelerator, she leaned out her open window and took a few pot shots at the old Fairlane as it gained more ground on her.

Blinded by her anger, she reached for the button to activate her nitrous. As the boost was activated, something went wrong.

A warning light flashed on her dashboard and suddenly the Corvette went crazy. It started to do doughnuts around the desert floor and go completely out of control.

Stingray was absolutely stunned. Since she was still hanging halfway out the window, she was thrown from her car and landed with a loud thump on the sand as her car careened off, even more out of control.

It hit a large rock and smashed itself to pieces. The wreckage then burst into flames.

Ford looked a bit shocked about that development. "Holy shit! That wasn't supposed to happen!"

"Did you even know what you did to her nitrous?" asked Jazz. "I mean, you've never worked with it before."

"I guess I didn't know." Ford said sheepishly. "Pure dumb luck, I suppose."

Don looked back to see Stingray get to her feet, and stagger around in a daze.

"Good. She's still alive." Don said. He then spoke into a walkie-talkie.

"Sonic, time for the dragon lady here to go night-night." he smirked.

As Stingray was distracted by the destruction of her car, a blue blur suddenly raced towards her. Before she knew it, a pad soaked in chloroform was clamped around her nose and mouth. As she fell unconscious, Sonic kept her from falling to the ground.

"Don't let the bed bugs paralyse." he joked. "Because they might in this country."

---

As the sun rose over Dorajland the next morning, Yuri's Floating Disc descended to the ground and a hatch opened on it. Out of the hatch drove the Snakehead, which had DeMarco and Dr. Badvibes riding in it and a bronze metallic 1966 Cadillac Funeral Coach with mag wheels and a supercharger with a bug catcher fitted into the hood. Lester and Luther rode in it.

"Where did you get that thing?" Badvibes asked.

"Golem allowed us to use it." Luther replied. "It used to belong to an old wrestling rival of his called the Reaperman. After Golem finally ended his in-ring career, part of the stipulation was that he hand over his vehicle collection. He was quite into custom cars."

"This one here is called the Handbasket." Lester added. "Appropriate considering the hell we're going to give the Cannonballers."

"Yeah, well I hope we can avoid getting caught up with these Nod scumbags." DeMarco said as he spoke into a communicator to Yuri. "Are you sure you can give us a window for attack on the Cannonballers, Yuri?"

"Certainly." Yuri replied. "A fleet of Discs will arrive inside the hour. Kane will find himself in a spot of bother."

"Alles klar, herr Commissar." smirked DeMarco.

"What is it with you guys and 80s one-hit wonders?" Yuri asked.

"Horace and our 'special guest' are still out there. I'll signal them when we need them." Badvibes reported.

Badvibes suddenly heard a beeping noise and reached into his pocket. He looked at his cellphone after taking it out.

"What's up?" asked DeMarco.

"According to this, an alarm's been tripped at my lab back in Empire City." Badvibes shrugged. "Probably nothing."

"How can you be so casual about it?" DeMarco asked in concern.

"Because it's probably a false alarm." Badvibes said. "The last time I got that warning it turned out it was Buzzbomb snooping around to find where I was hiding his steel-wool cookies."

"Okay." said DeMarco. "Speaking of Empire City, it should be just about now that Big Boss will receive his visitors from Duckburg."

---

A Well-Stacked Pizza delivery van pulled up outside Big Boss' skyscraper headquarters in Empire City. Bankjob Beagle was in the driver's seat with Bigtime sitting next to him. Out of the back of the van climbed Ma, Burger, Bouncer, and Babyface who were all dressed as delivery guys. All four of them wore earpieces.

Bigtime spoke into a microphone on the headset he was wearing. "You hear all right, guys and gal?" he asked.

"Roger." Ma, Bouncer, and Babyface replied.

"Fred." Burger said.

"Huh?" everybody else chorused.

"I'm tired of hearing about Roger." Burger replied. "That stupid rabbit's been mailing it in for years."

Ma clipped Burger's ear. "Keep your mind on the mission!" she snapped.

"Ow!" whined Burger as he rubbed his ear.

The four of them reached into the rear of the van and each pulled out a stack of five pizza boxes.

They walked up to the entrance of the skyscraper.

Ma pressed the buzzer button and spoke into the speaker.

"Well-Stacked Pizza here, with the twenty Mighty Meat Feast order for Mr. Babel's party tonight." she said.

Squeaky watched all of them through a security camera which was above the door.

"I'll just buzz you in now." he said as he buzzed the door.

As the four notorious criminals walked in, Big Boss wandered out of his office and caught sight of them on Squeaky's monitor.

"Hold on a minute!" he said as he got a good look at them.

He pressed a red button on the console.

As Ma and her sons walked through the skyscraper's foyer, a loud alarm sounded and steel shutters closed over the main door and a plexiglass screen closed off the route in front of them.

"Uh oh!" Ma mumbled to herself.

Babyface dropped to the ground and started crying.

"It wasn't my fault! They made me do it!" he whined.

"Ya little weasel!" Bouncer growled as he picked Babyface up by his collar.

"Will everyone please calm down?!" snapped Ma.

The express elevator reached the foyer and Big Boss exited it, with Squeaky and Buttons along with him. Buttons had his suit jacket open and aimed the twin machine guns he had built into his chest at the Beagles. Big Boss carried his own gun-cane.

Big Boss signalled to Squeaky, who used a hand-held remote to shut the alarm off. Big Boss looked at his visitors coldly.

"Ma Beagle. As I live and breathe." he said. "And some of your wonderful brood as well."

"Now, Brandon, I'm sure there's no need for violence." Ma said in a sweet voice as she pouted.

"Violence?" Big Boss raised an eyebrow and then broke into a big smile. "I wouldn't dream of it. Especially with such an old and valued friend and colleague."

He signalled to Squeaky again. Using the remote, Squeaky opened the shutters on the main door and raised the plexiglass screen.

Big Boss went forward with his arms raised to give Ma a big hug. Ma smirked and put her stack of pizzas down so she could accept his hug.

"It's great to see you again, bubby." Ma smiled.

"And you too, my dear." Big Boss replied as he broke the hug. "You know you never have to try and sneak into my humble abode. You are always welcome here. But thanks for bringing my party food as well."

Big Boss turned to Buttons. "You can put them away now, McBoomBoom. The Beagles are honoured guests in my home."

"If you say so." said Buttons as he folded up his chest guns and buttoned his jacket up again.

"Come on, boys. Allow me to show you around." Big Boss said as he lead the way.

As the Beagle Boys smiled and joined the group, Bouncer hung back a bit and whispered over his earpiece.

"We're in." he smirked.

---

The FLAG operatives had just passed Nairobi and were now on the final stretch towards the Tsavo National Park for the confrontation with Garthe and KARR. The FLAG semi lead the way while the Barbarian, Wildchild, KITT 3000 and the Reckoning were bringing up the rear.

"At this rate, we should be there by dawn." KITT 3000 reported.

"I just wish we could have a hearty breakfast to get the energy for battle." Mike Traceur joked.

From a nearby ridge, the three Pollution Ministers and a few more PALM troops watched the convoy through binoculars.

"(This is our last chance to stop Michael Knight before he reaches Garthe-san.)" Yogostein announced. "(So, let's make sure that we show him once and for all that he's not dealing with rank amateurs!)"

"(Be sure of it.)" smirked Kegaleisa as she and Kitaneidas walked over to a jeep which had a missile launcher fitted in its' cargo area. The PALM troops climbed into similar vehicles and a few more motorcycles. Yogostein himself got into a Chevrolet C20 truck which was heavily armoured. The group of villains started up their engines and drove off across country to the highway.

A couple of the motorcycles came up behind the Wildchild. The soldiers riding on the rear of the bikes unholstered their shotguns and began firing.

"Oh no, you don't!" Richard said as each motorcycle got on his left and right sides. He pressed a button on his dashboard and a jet of CO2 gas shot out of a hatch on each side of the Wildchild.

This stunned the PALM motorcycles and caused the passengers to lose their grips and fall off. After that, Richard swerved to the left and knocked the first cycle off into the bush. He then did the same with the one on his right.

A couple more cycles roared out onto the road ahead of them and engaged KITT 3000. Mike Traceur activated a tranq gun port on the black Mustang's rear and took out the gunmen on the bike rears before they could open fire on him and then hit the drivers. They all piled up their cycles and fell off to the side of the road.

"Everything okay back there?" asked Michael Knight.

"Nothing we can't handle, Dad." Mike replied.

"Mr. Knight, Dr. Barstow! Look out!" KITT 3000 warned as the missile-equipped jeeps and Yogostein's armoured truck entered the fray.

"(Take care of the truck and Michael Knight!)" Yogostein ordered. "(I'll deal with these fools!)".

Kegaleisa, Kitaneidas and the PALM jeep troops drove forward to attack the FLAG semi and the Barbarian as Yogostein drove his truck towards the three back-up vehicles.

"Not on my watch, pal!" Claude said in the Reckoning. He flipped a switch and the silver Dodge vehicle suddenly rose up on its tyres. The tyres then inflated to a huge size.

Yogostein went to ram head on into the Reckoning, but the VSSE vehicle was barely scratched when he hit it. Yogostein's truck, however, was very dented and some of the armour plates had begun to fall off.

When the Wildchild had caught up, Richard added to the damage with a few well-aimed shots from his gun.

Meanwhile, the jeeps had reached the front of the convoy and were aiming at the FLAG semi.

"(We take this big brute out first, and Knight is helpless!)" laughed Kitaneidas.

"RC, hit number six on the control panel!" Bonnie ordered in the rear of the semi.

"Affirmative!" RC3 confirmed as he pressed a button and the rear door of the semi opened up.

"(WHAT?!)" Kegaleisa said in disbelief as the door raised.

In the hatchway were huge stacks of oil barrels with rags stuffed in them which had been set alight. A set of crude but effective explosives.

"(Son of a bitch!)" Kegaleisa sighed as the stacks of oil barrels were tilted out of the semi's trailer.

Kegaleisa and Kitaneidas managed to avoid them, but most of the PALM jeeps were set on fire and their drivers had to abandon them before they exploded at the roadside.

"(Take this fool out!)" Kegaleisa yelled as Kitaneidas aimed and fired missiles at the semi's smoke stacks and trailer. The FLAG truck was damaged but was holding up alright.

Behind them, Yogostein had turned his truck around again and raced head-on for the Reckoning once again.

Wesley activated another function in the car. It suddenly tilted forward on its rear wheels so that the hood was facing right at the ground. The hood then raised and tilted forwards and upwards like a ramp.

"(DAMN YOU!)" yelled Yogostein as his truck went up the impromptu ramp and flipped over in the air as it flew off to the side.

The Chevy truck hit the ground and was smashed into junk.

As Yogostein fled from the wreckage, KITT 3000 pulled to the side of the road and fired a laser blast at the wrecked C-30, making it explode.

"I hope he can run fast." KITT 3000 joked.

Kegaleisa and Kitaneidas had continued to fire missiles at the FLAG semi. The Barbarian had got behind them. KITT fired a laser blast at the jeep's missile launcher, shorting it out.

"Michael, I'm detecting that we're approaching a railway line. And there's a train passing now!"

"Damn!" Michael mumbled. "RC, pull back! We can finish off these guys!"

"Hold on, Michael! I can make it!" RC3 replied as he approached the railway crossing.

"You can make it?!" Michael, Bonnie and KITT chorused in disbelief.

"You may wanna brace yourself, though, Bonnie!" RC added.

As the semi bore down on the train as it passed, a couple of flatbed cars being pulled by the train were passing.

"BANZAI!" yelled RC as he hit the accelerator on the semi and jumped a small mound of earth by the side of the railway.

As the teams in the Barbarian, Wildchild, KITT 3000 and Reckoning watched in amazement, both the semi and its trailer leaped over the flatbed cars and cleared them completely. The truck landed safely on the other side of the tracks.

In the Barbarian, Michael hit Turbo Boost and jumped safely over the train as a few box cars began to approach.

In their jeep, Kegaleisa and Kitaneidas attempted the jump as well. But as they went over the mound of earth, they crashed into an empty wooden box car and came out the other side. Their jeep flipped over in the air and crashed to the ground completely wrecked. As with their leader, the two Pollution Ministers fled from their wrecked vehicle just before it exploded in a huge fireball.

KITT 3000 reached the railway crossing and Mike turbo boosted over the train himself. The two VSSE cars opted for the safe approach and came to a stop as they reached the railway.

"Can you three handle yourselves from here on?" asked Robert over the radio.

"We'll be fine, guys. Thanks for helping us get this far." Mike Traceur remarked.

"The semi really held up there, Bonnie. Good work on it." Michael Knight said.

"Michael? Can you do me a favour?" Bonnie asked over the radio as she sat, shaken up, in the semi's trailer/HQ.

"Sure." Michael replied.

"Remind me to kick RC's ass when this is all over!" Bonnie growled.

"Will do, beautiful!" Michael chuckled.

---

The Regalo had just pulled out of a gas station along a desert highway. Cindy was now driving it. But the car was still going at full speed.

"Glad we got those tires changed with time to spare." she laughed.

"Seriously, Cindy, the speeds that you and Yogi have been driving at are starting to worry me." Ranger Smith said as he mopped his brow with a handkerchief.

"No sweat, Ranger. They can both handle it." Boo Boo reassured as the Regalo tore down the blacktop.

"Your journey ends here, losers!" Shego's voice yelled over their radio.

Up ahead of them, the Capital and the Comrade roared towards them on a collision course, one of them in each lane.

"I do declare! Dick Dastardly never misses a trick!" Cindy snorted.

"What do we do?" asked Quick Draw.

"I'm aiming for the Comrade." Cindy smirked.

"Why?" asked Yogi in uncertainty.

"Because it's a Hummer I'd dare say." Ranger Smith replied.

"Exactly, sugar." Cindy smirked. "It's a show car with a high-lift kit that makes up for Jafar's lil' old inferiority complex."

"What is that crazy cornpone she-bear doing?" the stunned Jafar demanded of no-one in particular as the Regalo came right at him in the right-hand lane.

"Squash them!" Oil Can Harry yelled.

Cindy was now right on top of them.

"CURSES!" yelled Jafar as he swerved out of the Regalo's way and ended up hitting a petrified tree at the side of the road. The villains were unhurt, but once again the wheels fell off the Comrade as it crashed.

Mad Dog turned the Capital around and drove off after the Regalo. As they prepared to pursue the Wacky Racers, the news chopper suddenly swooped down into the road and blocked their way.

"Smile for the cameras!" Wes Mantooth cheered as the Capital screeched to a halt.

"Why are you helping those guys?" Drakken asked in disbelief.

"I've always been a fan of Yogi's show." Wes replied. "Plus, I watched 'Wacky Races' specifically to see Dick Dastardly get humiliated week after week for being a colossal jerk. So the notion of him losing this bet and having to wear a dress on the next leg amuses me greatly."

"Thanks a lot, Wes." Cindy said over the radio. "Keep up the good work covering the race."

"You'd better let us pass, Mantooth!" snapped Mad Dog.

Wes moved a barrel over from beside him in the chopper and dumped its contents onto the Capital.

"Gas!" gasped Shego as the car was covered in gasoline.

Wes then took out a cigarette lighter and held it threateningly.

"I wouldn't do anything rash if I were you." he laughed.

"You're crazy!" declared Drakken.

"With a capital 'C', daktari!" Wes laughed.

"I hope you never win an Emmy!" Mojo grumbled.

"THAT'S the best curse you could think of?!" Wes chuckled again. "Someone stick a gag on him so he never gives any more lame insults!"

"Asshole." Shego hissed.

---

In the ghost town, the unconscious Killer Cars had all been tied up at various posts around the town. Ford Fairlane smirked as he admired their handiwork.

"Dare I ask where you got those weapons, mister?" Ty asked FG.

"I have connections. Nothing you need concern yourself with." FG said. "How did you know how to use them, though."

"I have a life outside street racing." Ty haughtily commented. "I'm an Army reserve sergeant."

"You don't say." FG smirked. "An honour to serve with you."

"I still think you could have given me a gun." Lana snapped. "I can handle one."

"Really?" Trikz said, dumbfounded.

"That dance troupe I toured with in Europe before I became the choreographer in Lidell's old club played some real dives." Lana remarked. "Believe me, I learned how to use a weapon pretty quick."

"Maybe next time." Ty joked.

"Maybe I'll break my foot off in your ass, 'playa'!" Lana snapped.

Jessie, Meowth, and Giovanni looked angrily at the Charger as the sound of mechanical work finally finished and James rolled out from underneath.

"HA! I told you I'd beat you, you..." James began. His jaw then dropped as he saw the four killers had all been beaten.

"What? Did ya think all the vehicle noise was just a movie or something?" asked Ford in triumph.

"They beat these assholes while you were still working out what to do with the General Lee there, you snail-speed halfwit!" Jessie snapped in anger. "Didn't the fact that it's now broad daylight give you a goddamn clue?! YOU IDIOT!"

"Aw, crap!" James groaned.

"That's right!" Ford cheered. "Hickory Dickory Dock, ya run outta time on the clock! OHHHHH!"

"You actually think we're going to pay you because of that stupid bet?!" Giovanni snarled.

"I don't care about money." said Ford. "I never actually agreed to any terms with blue boy over there. But I have something in mind for you guys."

"And ya think we'll actually do it?!" Meowth sneered.

"You don't do it, and we'll all testify on the Cannonball website that Team Rocket is the biggest (bleep)ing collection of spineless, wimp, chicken-shit pussy (bleep)ing (bleep)wad (bleep)sucking (bleep)s in the whole of God's Creation." Buster smiled. "That a good enough reason for ya?"

"You kiss your momma with that mouth?" Trikz asked in shock.

Giovanni turned beet red and dug his nails into his palms. He sighed deeply and swallowed hard.

"Alright. We'll do whatever it is." he grumbled.

"BOSS?!" chorused Jessie, James and Meowth.

"It's your own fault, James! So suck it up!" Giovanni yelled. "Besides, even if the three of you are cowards, which I know to be true, I will not have our organisation's name be blackened by some 1950's refugee like Fairlane."

Giovanni turned to Ford. "So, what do we have to do?"

"Can any of you sing, dance and/or play an instrument?" asked Jazz.

"And how much do you know about 80s fashion?" Ford added.

---

Lone Wolf and the other protectors who had made it into Dorajland had met up with the Cannonballers at their makeshift base in Yendys. Lara and her team had now joined them, as had Tanner and Jones and Team Furious.

"So, this is all of you guys who are in this city right now?" Lone Wolf asked.

"There are a few others." Pitt remarked. "Some of them are going through the country in a convoy and trying to avoid trouble."

"We thought we'd found Jarod earlier, but it turned out to be a trap." MacGruber remarked, still fire-blackened from the day before.

"Okay, we really need to put our thinking caps on here." Rico spoke up. "The way I see it, some of the other enemies of the Cannonball will try and seize an opportunity to attack you here while you're temporarily out of commission."

"How about this, then?" asked Snake. "The majority of us stay here in Yendys and distract Nod's attention, keeping them focused on us, while some others try and locate Jarod?"

"Good idea." said Pitt.

"I'd like to volunteer myself and my team to find Jarod." Lara said. "Two years ago, my team-mates and the Williams sisters who are with us now took care of a similar military force's base in Asia."

"With some help, admittedly, but we handled ourselves." Joanna added.

"Alright then. You can try and find Jarod." Rico nodded.

"Way ahead of you." Anna said. "I remember hearing some rumours about the Brotherhood of Nod back when I used to do black ops missions."

"Me too." said Nina. "We heard that they have these construction mechs which are capable of building highly fortified bases in less than a day."

"So it's possible that they've recently built such a base to hold Jarod." Anna added.

"Worth a try." said Lara. "I think we'll try and attract their attention."

"Good idea." said Bulletproof. "Do you need help for such an operation?"

"Thanks for the offer, but we should be able to handle it." Joanna said

"I'm going with them anyway." Tanner spoke up. "Me and Jones both."

"Are you sure you're not just doing that to hang out with the lovely ladies?" Giordino mischievously asked.

"We have skills too, you know!" Jones said haughtily.

"Besides, I'd like to finally prove that that rumour that I'm useless outside of my car IS just a rumour." Tanner added in a heated tone.

"Alright, John. You can help us out as well." said Joanna in a placating way.

"Alright. Off you go." said Lone Wolf as Lara's team headed for the Vulcano and Tanner and Jones headed for the Sorcerer.

"So, we'll be concentrating enemy fire here in Yendys?" asked Gunn.

"Yes. It's our duty to keep the civilians safe." Ethan said.

"Where's Skeeter?" asked Highway.

"Off trying to see if he can find and modify a suitable assault vehicle anywhere in the city." Bulletproof replied.

"Right. Let's go get Nod's attention to buy him some time." said Xander as the group headed for their vehicles.

"Hey, Jake." said Max as they headed for the Black Knight. "Did you notice that this city's name is 'Sydney' spelled backwards?"

Jake thought for a minute. "Yeah, I did. You think Jarod has a grudge against Australia?"

"If he does, I'll certainly have to give him a good talking-to after he's rescued." Max replied.

---

Silent Bob walked over to the Falcon and climbed in with Jay and Brodie.

"Are you guys sure you're okay to race again?" Marge asked.

"We were a bit shaken up and bruised, but we'll be fine." Brodie said.

"Thanks for returning the Lunchbox there!" yelled Jay.

"No problem!" yelled Homer. "He was starting to stink up the car!"

Silent Bob looked at them incredulously as the Kowalski drove off.

"Well, let's get on our way." said Brodie as he started the car and drove out of the side street.

They immediately came face to face with LaFours and stopped.

"Just once, I'd like to make it through one continent without seeing this frickin' guy!" moaned Jay.

LaFours revved his engine a couple of times. Brodie revved his back and put the Falcon into gear.

"Hit it!" said Jay.

Brodie floored the accelerator and raced backwards. LaFours took off after him.

"Hang on." said Brodie. He quickly cut the wheel to the left and executed a reverse bootlegger.

"Not bad for a front driver." said Jay.

Brodie turned onto the highway with LaFours in hot pursuit. They came out in front of the Jawbreaker.

"This is Montoya calling. I am in pursuit of a Cannonballer. Over."

"Zis is Inspector Clouseau. I'm on my way to help."

"No way." said Montoya. "This is my guy."

"Perhaps, you should accept the assistance of an inspector with the Paris police." said Clouseau.

"I understand." said Montoya. "I just don't see how your being a police inspector is germaine to the situation."

"No, no, no." said Clouseau. "Not German. French!"

The Falcon continued out of the city with the Opus and Jawbreaker right behind it. The CM Venga joined them in short order.

"Oh, they're just coming out of the woodwork now." said Brodie.

The Jawbreaker and CM Venga pressed the attack. Both started to gain on the Falcon.

"Here they come." said Jay.

"Hang on." said Brodie.

Suddenly, Brodie performed a spinout and let the Jawbreaker and CM Venga race past him. Seconds later, he got back in gear and sped back the way he'd come.

"Sweet." said Jay.

Brodie raced around a corner and found the Opus parked across the road and LaFours standing next to it. He quickly got on the brakes and spun until he faced the entrance to a dirt road.

LaFours approached the car and spoke over the CB to Brodie.

"Now I've got you, you little geekazoid!" he said. The team looked stunned as he had spoken in a very high-pitched, squeaky voice.

"No wonder he never talks." said Silent Bob.

Brodie got back on the gas and raced onto the dirt road. LaFours quickly got back into the Opus and took off after him. The Jawbreaker and CM Venga came racing up as well.

"This suspect is all ours." said Bullock.

The Jawbreaker passed the Opus to get after the Falcon.

"This road doesn't appear to be driven very often." said Brodie.

"Oh shit, there's why." said Jay.

The bridge ahead of them was out.

"Now, REALLY hang on!" said Brodie.

He aimed the Falcon towards the collapsed bridge and gunned it. He hit the ramp and jumped the gap in the Falcon.

"Don't do it! Don't do it!" pleaded Bullock. Montoya quickly got on the brakes.

She managed to stop just before the gap in the bridge. The Opus came to a stop right behind her.

"That was close." said Bullock.

Suddenly, the CM Venga rear-ended the Opus and sent it crashing into the Jawbreaker, knocking it into the gap and into the stream below.

Clouseau, Cato, and LaFours climbed out of their cars and walked over to the gap. Montoya and Bullock had opened the doors and climbed onto them.

"Pardon me." said Clouseau. "Are you working under this Montoya?"

"I AM Montoya." she said angrily.

"Oh, sorry." said Clouseau. "You sounded taller on the radio."

---

In the central part of Yendys, the rest of Banner's group, including Virginia now, had set up a roadblock.

Parked nearby was a GM TDH 5303 prison bus which Slater and Michaels had commandeered from the courthouse building.

"Nice, you guys." Victoria Crown remarked. "Providing the Cannonballers with a lift to where they'll be going when we stop 'em."

"I know. That's why we called it the Lockdown." Michaels remarked.

"A number of them will no doubt come this way." Banner said smugly as their vehicles formed the blockade.

"Are you sure this is safe, though?" Virginia asked. "I heard one of the city's police officers say that their hands are tied because some kind of coup d'etat is going on."

"I thought it was incredibly easy how we got the Lockdown from the courthouse." Slater said thoughtfully.

"We'll be fine, I'm sure." Banner said.

---

Meanwhile, back at the 'resistance' headquarters at the factory, Skeeter had just presented the three vehicles he had found and modified for combat.

The first was a grey '75 Ford Torino with red stripes which had a supercharger sticking through the hood and a set of floodlights attached to the roof. It also had a spoiler on the rear-end, a set of fenders on the front fashioned into a kind of battering ram and more metal beams forming an external roll cage.

"This lil' sweetheart here is called the Stormrider." Skeeter beamed. "I thought it would be perfect for a guy like you, Dom."

"Well, I'm not much of a Ford guy, but it does look like it'll do the job." said Dom. "Brian, Vince, you guys ready?"

"Yeah, bro." Brian said.

"I've got those things that Tej cooked up after that business in London." Vince added. "Be nice to use them to make our opponents' lives miserable."

"Right. Let's go." said Dom as they climbed into the Stormrider.

The two other vehicles were a pair of big rig trucks. The first was a grey Kenworth W-900 with some slight hints of rust here and there on it.

The cab had the roof cut off it and the front fender and grille had been modified to include a large plough.

The other truck was a grey White Road Boss with monster truck tyres and yellow stripes on the hood, roof and sides. This truck also had hints of rust here and there.

It had heavy steel pipes attached to the front of the grille as a battering ram/shield.

"The Kenworth here is called the Icebreaker." announced Skeeter. "And the Road Boss is called the Bone Crusher."

"Those are mean wheels, Skeeter." Lone Wolf announced. "I think we'll take the Icebreaker."

He, Bulletproof, Highway and Hardtop all got into the Icebreaker.

"And we'll take the Bone Crusher." said Alex as the Angels, Max and Hymie got into the Bone Crusher.

"I just know that Nod will face a lot of trouble with these here beauties." Highway smiled.

"Remember, cause Nod as much trouble here so that Lara can carry out her mission." Bulletproof announced.

"I've got a weird feeling that Nod aren't the only ones about to face trouble with big trucks." Hardtop said.

"Probably your imagination." Highway said.

"I hope." Hardtop replied.

---

The Barbarian drove down a trail road into the Tsavo National Park's east side. Following behind at a distance were the FLAG semi and KITT 3000.

"Michael, I'm sensing something very large in a clearing about half a mile ahead of us." KITT said. "I think you can guess what it is."

"Sure can, buddy." Michael said grimly.

"I also sense sensor readings similar to both mine and my predecessor, Mr. Knight." KITT 3000 said.

"KARR?" Bonnie asked over the radio.

"That's affirmative." Mike Traceur said. "And from the looks of the readings, both of our old friends have had a major overhaul."

"Then, let's prepare accordingly." Michael added as he made sure that the Barbarian's laser power pack was fully charged and Mike activated a switch on KITT 3000's dashboard which opened up a missile rack on the rear of the car.

In the cab of the semi, RC3 extended the fender battering rams on the front of the vehicle.

"Come on out, you bastard." Michael thought to himself as they approached the clearing. It was as large as a stadium, which was appropriate considering what was about to happen.

Waiting for them there were Goliath and KARR. KARR had transformed into his robot mode and Goliath had its trailer removed so it could move faster.

In addition, a large laser gun barrel was attached to Goliath's fortified front end, just below the windshield. Both Goliath and KARR seemed to be covered by a defensive energy shield.

Garthe activated a speaker on Goliath and spoke into it.

"So, you made short work of my old friend Kuna's men, Michael. But it will make no difference." he said.

"Indeed. Our good friends from outer space added many improvements to us as you can no doubt see." KARR added.

"Glad to see that you haven't changed, Garthe." said Michael over the comms. "You still use every dirty trick your money can buy you."

"Enough talk!" Garthe snapped. "Now, I shall rid myself of you once and for all."

"I'll handle the truck and Mr. Knight, Jr." KARR said smugly as he opened up his gun and missile ports.

"Here we go." Mike said to himself.

TO BE CONTINUED