Cannonball Run 7: High Speed Heroes

by BKelly95

Co-written by The Turbo Man. The Cannonballers have returned for another race around the world for a five hundred million dollar first prize. Who will rise? Who will fall? And who will win the Cannonball Run?

12. You Wanna Play Rough? We'll Give Ya

CANNONBALL RUN 7: HIGH SPEED HEROES by Bkelly95 and the Turbo Man

CHAPTER 12: 'You wanna play rough? We'll give ya rough!"

The aliens approached slowly. Just then, they heard the roar of three more engines.

"Wait, do you hear that?" asked Liam.

The Silverhawk raced into the clearing with Enzo driving behind in a red Alfa Romeo 8C with white and green stripes along the sides and hood. Charlie followed them in a yellow Volkswagen Beetle with a wide body kit and side graphics of exposed circuitry. Duke rode in the Silverhawk's passenger seat.

"Red Hawk, fire!" called Jeremy. His mask fired a red energy projectile shaped like a bird of prey. The projectile hit the snow in the midst of the alien horde. The resulting explosion scattered the group.

The Silverhawk and Enzo's Alfa Romeo stopped next to the Joe, MASK, and Cobra teams. "I know a safe place we can go." said Duke. "Get back in your cars and follow us."

"Uh, can I come?" asked the cured man.

Enzo popped open his passenger side door. "Hop in!" he said.

The cured man got in. Enzo gave the aliens a quick wave and said "Arrivederci!" before peeling out.

"Nice Alfa." said the man.

"Grazi." said Enzo. "We call it the Otter. The Corvette is called the Silverhawk and the Volkswagen is called the Spark."

Within a minute, the cars had returned to the road. A group of ATV's followed not far behind.

"They're still back there." said Rock 'n' Roll. "We might have to bust out the guns."

"We're heading to a layover station for the Cannonballers." said Enzo.

"And we'll be safe there?" asked the cured man.

"Si." said Enzo. "And our leader will be there as well."

"Good." said the man. "I have some information he needs to know."

"Ah, good to hear." said Enzo.

"Right." said the man. "What does this button do?" he asked as he reached for a red button on the dashboard.

"No!" yelled Enzo as the man pushed it.

The Otter's front fenders rotated upward with the wheels becoming impellers. The airdam extended forward to become a stabilizer and exposed a torpedo rack. The rear fenders folded up to reveal laser cannons while the rear wheels rotated towards the rear to become thrusters. A pair of fins flipped out of the rear hatch.

Unfortunately, the Otter wasn't anywhere near a body of water after changing into a submarine and came to a rest in a snowbank. Enzo glared at the man who just said "Sorry."

"I gotcha, Enzo." said Jeremy. "Link up."

Enzo pressed a green button below the red one and the fins folded sideways while a coupler rose from the roof.

Jeremy pressed a red button on the dashboard of the Silverhawk. The front wheels folded forward on wings while the rear wheels folded back on horizontal stabilizers. A pair of vertical stabilizers extended from the rear deck and the headlights opened to reveal laser cannons. The clear panel on the hood rose to become a ray projector. Another coupler extended from the bottom.

Jeremy took off, performed a vertical loop, and connected the Silverhawk's coupler to the Otter's. The Silverhawk lifted the Otter out of the snowbank.

"We're still in trouble!" yelled Liam.

"Plus I don't know if I can carry the Otter much longer." said Jeremy as he struggled with the Silverhawk's controls. "This thing wasn't designed to carry something that big."

"Ask and you shall receive." said Duke.

Just then, a large, blue, armored vehicle tore through the snow.

"Is that the R.O.C.C?" asked Clutch.

"Accept no substitutes." said Duke.

The R.O.C.C. pulled onto the road and the rear hatch opened. The Battle drove in first followed by the Maniac 2, Destroyer, Aquila, and Spark.

A woman with red hair directed them into the loading bay. She wore blue cold weather gear. Another woman with long, brown hair stood next to her while wearing white cold weather gear.

"Scarlett!" said Rock 'N' Roll as he climbed out of the Battle. "What brings you here?"

"Hawk thought you could use some more help." said the redhead. "So, Cover Girl and I brought the R.O.C.C. here with Flint."

"You probably didn't want to let me out of your sight." said Shipwreck as he winked at Cover Girl, the brunette.

"Don't flatter yourself, barnacle brain." said Cover Girl as she nudged him. "So, we're on our way to the layover station."

"You got it." said Max.

They heard a loud thump. "What was that?" asked Scarlett.

"Oh, that's our boss." said Laura.

The Silverhawk had landed on the R.O.C.C's roof with the Otter still linked up. "Enzo, you alright?" asked Jeremy.

"Absolutely fine." said Enzo.

"Guys, these aliens pose a serious threat not only to the racers," said Stalker "but to the world at large. I think we should forge a temporary truce until the extra-terrestrial threat is neutralized."

"Agreed." said Liam.

"I agree." sighed Destro.

"So do it." said Cobra Commander bitterly.

---

The Primus had stopped somewhere in the wilderness so that Jerry and Captain Pierce could climb out and get their bearings.

"It would help if there were some other land features besides ice faces and frozen lakes." Pierce said.

"Well, I'd watch your step around here, cap." Jerry warned. "The Cannonball Website said there are some underground caves around here from earlier polar exploration. The ground may be a bit unstable."

A strange trembling started to occur in the ground.

"I see what you mean." Pierce nervously stated. "I think we should keep moving."

Suddenly, part of the icy ground cracked, revealing a vehicle breaking out of an underground tunnel and emerging onto the surface. It was Horace, and he looked to be in a fighting mood as his horn blasted angrily and his engine growled.

Jerry turned pale and his jaw dropped.

"Motion seconded!" Jerry yelled as he and Pierce got back into the Primus and Jerry started it up and gunned the engine.

Horace quickly got after them, staying alongside them at a slight distance as the Primus sped across the tundra.

"What is that car?" asked Pierce. "Herbie's evil twin?"

"I think so." replied Jerry. "I heard some rumour about such a car. But it's not gonna catch us!

Jerry kept his foot down as Horace continued to chase after them.

"COME ON, BUG FROM HELL!" Jerry yelled. "YOU WANNA PLAY GAMES, WE'LL PLAY GAMES!"

"Jer, watch it!" yelled Pierce as they approached a jump over a small ditch.

"Shit!"

The Primus and Horace both jumped the ditch and went into the air for a few seconds.

As Jerry had been unprepared for the jump, the Primus landed hard and at an awkward angle, which caused it to flip over.

The rollcage had saved Pierce and Jerry from any serious harm. They undid their seatbelts and crawled out of the Primus.

"Oh, did that hurt!" moaned Jerry.

"We're not home free yet." Pierce warned as he saw Horace turn around and roar straight towards them.

They quickly dove out of the way as Horace came at them. The Hate Bug rammed into the Primus and caused it some severe damage.

"NOBODY disespects my ride!" Jerry yelled.

Horace turned around again and got ready to come at them again.

"I think you made it mad." Pierce whispered in dread.

As Horace roared at them again, a green blur suddenly shot down from the sky and landed in Horace's path.

It was Meteor Man. As Horace reached him, he put his hands on Horace's hood and held the evil VW back with his massive strength.

Horace snarled with his engine as he was stopped.

Meteor Man moved his hands slowly downwards and hooked his fingers under Horace's front bumper.

"You'll not be bothering these guys for quite a while!" Meteor Man said as he lifted Horace off the ground and over his head.

He swung himself around in a circle several times and eventually threw Horace off into the distance.

Horace roared with his engine as he went spinning off into the sky and eventually out of their line of sight.

Pierce sighed in relief. "Thanks, Meteor Man."

"No probs, guys." Meteor Man smirked as he gave a thumbs-up.

"I thought it was only Team Rocket who exited that way." joked Jerry.

"Looks like your ride took a nasty bump." Meteor Man remarked. "Don't worry. The rest station isn't far from here. If you get the car on its wheels again, I'll give you a lift there."

"Literally?" asked Pierce as he raised a mischevious eyebrow.

"Of course." Meteor Man nodded in good humour. "Skeeter will be there for any necessary repairs, so I'm sure you'll be back on the road in no time."

"Okay. Let's get started then." said Jerry as he rubbed his hands together and got ready to attend to the Primus.

Out in the ocean near where they were, an angry, but still very much in action Horace broke the surface of the water which he had landed in.

He let out a low engine growl and began to tread the not-too-deep water with his rear wheels as he headed back towards land.

---

Back at Race Central, Brock and the other organizers had received the news about the aliens and were now informing the reporters of it.

"Aliens?" asked Misty in amazement.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" asked Brock. "I thought Pokemon were aliens. Or some of them anyway."

"Nobody knows for sure, sir." Misty replied sheepishly.

"Great." said Veronica sarcastically. "First, the prize money gets stolen, now aliens."

"After vampires and crazed warlords, I'd say we're on track." said Brock.

"Sir, it's almost time for another Cannonball update." said Lazlow.

"How do we do this?" asked Ron.

"Okay, let's do this." said Brock. "Discuss the aliens. That will be our main story. Tell them what we know that's fit to air. But don't mention the theft of the prize money. For the love of God, don't mention the prize money has been stolen!"

"Got it." said Misty.

The introduction music for the anchors played and they looked to the camera.

"Welcome back to the Cannonball Run coverage. I'm Lazlow."

"I'm Ron Burgundy and the prize money has not been stolen."

Lazlow shot him a curious look.

"What?" asked Ron. "I said it hasn't been stolen."

Lazlow continued. "Right now, the teams are heading into the heart of Antarctica. But as you know by now, several people infected by an alien spore infestation have set up a headquarters at the South Pole. Will this affect the Cannonballers' route? For that, we go to our special correspondents, Randy Dukes and Greg."

At another desk sat a heavyset black man in a dark blue business suit and a gaunt white man with black hair, no eyebrows and a peculiar expression on his face in a light gray business suit.

"Hello, guys." said the black man. "I'm Randy Dukes and as always, here's my faithful co-host Greg. Greg is not an alien, and I have to ask: how's it hanging, Cannonball fans?"

"How's it hanging?" asked Greg in a deep, strange-sounding voice. He then let out a menacing, deep-voiced laugh.

"Now, we're here to deliver some news on the alien spore infectees." said Randy.

Greg turned to him and let out a high-pitched squeal.

"And Greg is really interested in this story." said Randy. "I guess he wants to see the Cannonballers safe and sound just like everyone else."

Greg turned his head slowly to the camera.

"Now, as you might be aware," said Randy "these aliens are in the path of the Cannonballers. Do our high speed heroes have what it takes to handle these extra-terrestrial terrors? Let's go to the phones. Yes?"

"Yeah, I was getting concerned about the alien presence in Antarctica." said the caller. "Given past experiences between the Cannonballers and just about anything, I realized that the Cannonballers had the advantage."

"That's a pretty good way to think about it." said Randy.

"Plus, you don't seem to have any issues with alien presence since you're working with Greg."

"Ha ha ha, that's funny." said Randy. "Come on, guys. We know Greg is not an alien. Next caller."

"Hi, Randy?" asked the caller, a woman. "I was concerned about the aliens attacking and possibly enslaving us. Is that a problem?"

"No, no. Not a problem." said Randy. "Just keep your eyes open for spore pods. If one of those bursts open, just get the hell outta there."

"Were those the spore pods that created Greg?" asked the caller.

"No, of course not because Greg is NOT an alien." said Randy. "We've got another caller on line four. Go ahead."

"Hey there, Randy." said the caller, who sounded suspiciously like Gob. "I'm watching the race with my father and we kind of got into an argument. If you're outside the city, is the area you're in pronounced rurl or ru-ral?"

"Didn't you take English in high school?" asked Randy.

"I just wanted to cirsumvent calling my teachers." said the caller. "Anyway, I thought you'd be the guys to ask since Greg is obviously from Mars."

"No, he's from Venus." said Randy. "I mean Greg is NOT an alien! Period!"

"Oh, come on!" yelled the caller. "Then why does he have an alien scanner?"

Greg held a space-age looking device and stared at it intently.

"Oh, he got one of the new iPhones!" said Randy as he laughed nervously. "Well, that's all we really have time for. Back to you, guys."

"Back to you, guys." said Greg as he let out another menacing laugh.

---

On the highway about twenty miles away from the rest stop in Antarctica, the sun was beginning to set as the Barbarian passed the Bionic Cheetah.

Michael Knight was quite enjoying the ride.

"I think I'd like to hear a bit of music." he said.

"Well then, Michael, here's a song that your son sent me in an email." said KITT as he queued up a rock song. "He said it would be very appropriate for someone with your musical tastes driving at night."

As the opening guitar riff began, Michael smiled. "I think that he was right."

Behind the Barbarian, the Comrade had just roared past the Bionic Cheetah nearly knocking it off the road.

Mean Machine was driving whilst Oil Can Harry sat in the passenger seat as the others slept in the back.

Harry leaned out the window and gave the fist of fury to Space Ghost.

"So long, losers!" Harry yelled as Mean drove faster. "Come on, big guy! Let's leave these do-gooders in the dust!"

"You bet I will!" Mean smirked nastily.

The Comrade caught up with the Barbarian just as the lyrics for the song KITT was playing began.

It's late at night.
I get that feeling running through my veins.
You know it drives me insane.

In the car, slam the door, turn the key and I'll be free.
On the highway tonight.

"This washed-up jerk deserves to get beaten!" Harry sneered as the Comrade got alongside the Barbarian. "Stick it to 'im!"

"With pleasure." Mean growled in delight as he poured on the Hummer's speed.

Michael put his foot down and managed to keep pace with the villains exactly.

Highway bound.
I'm so alive.
I'm shifting into overdrive.
Nightrider (Nightrider)

Mean snarled and overtook the Barbarian, laughing evilly as he did so.

Autobahn.
Route 61.
I'll drive this road into the sun.
Nightrider.
Nightrider.

Michael narrowed his eyes and put his foot to the floor, enabling the Barbarian to catch up to the Comrade and get up beside them again.

My machine is tired and cool.
I don't need to go to school.
I'll put the hammer down and I'll leave this town.

I'm racing time.
The freeway just seems to unwind in front of me.
And there's no return.

Mean looked angry as Michael caught up with the Comrade and kept pushing the engine, making the Hummer push forward even more. He swerved over to the side and tried to push the Barbarian off the road.

My wheels of love.
Fit me like a racing glove.
Nightrider (Nightrider)

"Auf wiedersiehn, herr dumbkopf!" Harry yelled as he gave the middle finger to Michael and KITT.

Don't touch the brake.
Don't cross the line.
Don't make mistakes.
'Cause you know that I'm.
Nightrider.
Nightrider.

Michael took an evasive manuever and avoided getting broadsided as the Comrade overtook them again.

"Not very nice." Michael announced.

"I think we should teach them a lesson, Michael. Hang on!"

The purple light below KITT's voice box lit up, indicating Pursuit mode had been activated. The Barbarian accelerated to about 160 mph and they got right up on the Comrade's tail again.

Nightrider.
Nightrider.

Here I come.

The guitar solo for the song began as the Barbarian gained ground on the Comrade and began to jockey for position with it.

Mean snarled and hit the gas even more, making the Hummer's engine fairly growl. Harry laughed, but after a few seconds began to get worried as the Barbarian kept up with them and eased ahead by a nose. Mean inched ahead of Michael briefly, but Michael soon overtook and managed to stay ahead.

The engine roars.
strapped and tied.
I'm locked inside my doors.
On a midnight run.

But who knows when.
Danger lies around the bend for me.
With the morning sun.

The Comrade's engine began to make strange noises, but Mean appeared oblivious to it.

"Uh, I think you're going too fast, man." Harry warned nervously.

"What the drokk has going too fast got to do with being in the Cannonball?!" Mean snapped. "We have to beat this pretty boy to the rest station!"

I pass her by.
Faster than the speed of light.
Nightrider (Nightrider)

"It's no big deal if he beats us there!" Harry yelled as he began to turn pale. "There's still the big race itself. We can paste him in it!"

Mean ignored him and kept going as fast as he could.

"We're bad guys! There's only one place for any bad guys in any race and that's FIRST PLACE!" Mean roared.

"Something tells me they're about to have an accident." Michael smirked.

"You're right, Michael. He's about to fry his pistons." KITT confirmed.

You better run.
Look out now.
'Cause here I come.
Nightrider.
Nightrider.

"In three, two, one!" KITT counted off.

A loud snap sounded from the Comrade's engine bay and it came to a halt as a cloud of smoke billowed out from under the hood.

Michael honked the Barbarian's horn as they sped on.

"It's a straight shot for the next fifteen miles, Michael." KITT added. "What do you say we make sure we leave those guys behind?"

"I say we do just that." Michael grinned as he activated Super Pursuit Mode.

Mean and Harry angrily watched as the Barbarian changed shape and rocketed off at well over 300 mph. Michael cheered as the song came to an end on his stereo.

Nightrider.
Nightrider.

Nightrider.
Nightrider.
Nightrider.
Nightrider.

-"Nightrider" by Dokken

"STOMM!" Mean yelled as black smoke began to pour out of his mouth.

Harry noticed that Mean's forehead dial was at its highest setting and got out of the Comrade as Mean began to both pound the dash with his fists and headbutt the windshield.

"I'll just leave you to it." Harry said sheepishly as he ran a short distance away from the Comrade.

The Bionic Cheetah had caught up by this stage and Space Ghost's team saw in shock the tantrum that Mean was throwing.

"That guy should really try yoga." Moltar grumbled.

"Either that or switch to decaf." agreed Zorak.

"Or eat less red meat." added Space Ghost.

Mean had now got out of the Comrade and started to kick the door panels, leaving huge dents in them and then pounded his fists on the still smoking engine bay. The rest of the team had woken up by now and were stunned to see what he was doing, but didn't dare to interrupt him.

"Or maybe all three." chorused Team Space Ghost as they shook their heads and drove off.

---

The Yellow Bird came to an intersection in the wilderness. In another lane near them sat the Insurgent.

Neither vehicle moved for a while as Claude waited to see if the armoured vehicle would let him out first.

Satisfied that it was okay for them to drive out, he put the Yellow Bird in gear.

Suddenly, the Insurgent roared out of its lane and cut Claude off just as he moved into the road.

Claude stepped on the brakes and glared after the Insurgent as it drove off.

Tommy and C.J. shared their partner's anger.

"What kind of licence does that guy have? A fishing licence?" C.J. snapped.

"Well, hopefully we'll not see that jerk-ass again." Tommy assured him as Claude pulled the Yellow Bird out into the road and drove off.

After they got about a mile down the road towards the rest stop, it looked like the coast was clear and there were no other vehicles.

"No sign of that dickhead in the armoured truck." Tommy remarked.

Claude smirked and gave a thumbs-up.

Just as the team began to relax, a horn blared and the Yellow Bird was rear-ended by the Insurgent.

Ma Beagle laughed as the impact broke off the Yellow Bird's rear bumper and spoiler.

"JACK OFF!" Tommy yelled. "You better be insured or I'm gonna rip your nuts off!"

The Insurgent got alongside them and side-swiped the Yellow Bird several times.

The team saw Ma and her sons inside and realised the trouble they were in. Ma laughed and side-swiped them again, doing damage to the right side of the Yellow Bird.

"Okay. You wanna play rough? We'll give ya rough!" C.J. snarled as he and Tommy both took out MP5s and rolled down the right window of the Yellow Bird.

"That won't help you, junior!" Ma laughed as Tommy and C.J. opened fire. The armour on the Insurgent and the special glass on the windshield protected it from the gunfire. The Beagle Boys and their mother all laughed at the situation.

"Come on! At least PRETEND we're doing damage!" Tommy moaned as his magazine ran dry with no significant harm to the Insurgent to show for it.

"Punk-ass marks!" C.J. snapped as his gun ran dry as well.

Claude kept focused on the road as he tried to get ahead of the Insurgent. But Ma stayed right on them.

Bigtime leaned out a window and threw a huge mound of snow onto the Yellow Bird's windshield, blinding Claude for a few seconds.

Claude grunted and swerved wildly. The Yellow Bird hit an ice stalagmite and came to a halt as the Insurgent drove past them.

Ma turned the Gurkha around completely as Claude tried to restart the Yellow Bird's engine.

"Sitting ducks." she smiled to herself evilly as she revved the Insurgent's engine.

Suddenly, there was a loud blast and a chunk of armour was taken out of the hood of the Insurgent.

A few more blasts followed it and more damage was done.

"Who the...?!" Burger panicked.

They looked in the direction of the shots and saw a figure in a black spacesuit-like body armour with a black full-face helmet standing on a ridge above them. The figure was aiming a shotgun with red lights on it at them.

"The martians have landed!" Bouncer yelped.

"Time to go." Ma grumbled as she drove the Insurgent away the way they came to avoid any more damage.

Claude and his team had exited the Yellow Bird and looked in surprise as the Beagles drove off in a panic.

The team looked up at the armoured figure on the ridge. It lowered its shotgun and gave them a salute with one hand and then walked away.

"Do we even want to know what that was about?" asked Tommy.

"That old 'enemy of my enemy' saying comes to mind." C.J. replied. "I suggest we be grateful. And hope that whoever that was won't expect us to whack anybody in return."

Claude nodded as they surveyed the damage to the Yellow Bird and prepared to get back on the road.

Up on the ridge above them, the armoured figure walked towards the Black Knight where Max Rockatansky was waiting. As the figure put its gun in the car, a bright glow enveloped it and the armour disappeared to reveal Jake, who winced in pain and shook his head to clear it as the glow dissipated.

"You have to show me how you do that sometime." Max smirked.

"Trust me. You won't like it." Jake joked. "Good thing we saw those a-holes getting ready to start trouble earlier."

"Something tells me the good luck won't last." Max warned.

"Maybe. Maybe not." Jake nodded grimly.

---

Dick Dastardly drove the Cataract through the wilderness in a very reckless way. He and his team let out evil laughs as they shoved their way past the Terrific, Doomsayer, Harbinger, and Fleetline causing all four vehicles to swerve wildly and lose ground on them.

"Out of the way, losers!" Snidely yelled at their competitors as he made rude gestures at them.

"Nobody is going to beat us this time!" cackled Dastardly as he picked up the pace even more.

Catching up on them from afar was the Infinito, with Batman behind the wheel.

"Those guys are crazy." said the Flash. "I think we oughta teach them some manners."

"I intend to." smirked Batman as he switched off the Infinito's headlights and pressed a button on the dash marked 'silent running'. The sound of the engine was muffled as the car sped on.

"Can you still see?" asked Wonder Woman.

"Of course." said Batman as he raised an eyebrow. "This is a little something I was thinking of putting on the Batmobile eventually."

He got right up behind the Cataract and lined the Infinito right up with its back bumper.

"As is this." Batman continued as he flipped another switch.

There was a loud 'zap' noise as the Infinito clamped onto the Cataract thanks to a high-powered magnet hidden in the Infinito's front bumper.

"What was that?" asked Boris.

"Could be the fanbelt." suggested Natasha.

"Now, let's go for a ride." Batman smirked as he switched on the Infinito's highbeams and floored the accelerator.

Dastardly's villains team panicked as the lights came on and they now realised they were now trapped.

The Cataract was pushed forward at an increasingly alarming rate as Dastardly's team started to panic.

"Hit the brakes!" Snidely yelled.

"I AM!" Dastardly screeched as he tried with all his might to stop the Cataract. It was no good as the Villains Society members were now being pushed along at well over 180 mph by the Infinito as it held on with its bumper magnet.

"I think they get the point, Bruce." Wonder Woman grinned as she leaned towards the dash.

Batman hit the Infinito's brakes just as Wonder Woman deactivated the magnet.

The Infinto stopped on the proverbial dime as the Cataract was shot forward at a high rate of speed and completely out of control.

The team of villains ended up spinning around and around on the icy road surface and doing doughnuts all over the place.

Eventually, the Cataract came to a halt just as the Infinito and the four cars trailing it roared past the defeated villains.

Dastardly's team all looked nauseous and held their rumbling stomachs. Muttley put his head between his knees.

"I think I would rather have gone through this continent wearing a dress than having that happen." Boris groaned.

"Shut up." warned Dastardly.

"It would be a good idea to put these mods in the Batmobile, Bruce." the Flash said.

"I'm not sure." Wonder Woman added. "Remember, the Batmobile moves far faster than a Ferrari."

"That's the only reason why I didn't enter the Batmobile." Batman smirked. "It would have made things too easy."

---

The Thunder Rodd was driving along. Daffy was wearing a lot of heavy clothing.

"It's okay for you three. You have fur!" Daffy grumbled.

"I thought you flew south for the winter!" Bugs joked.

"We fly to where the weather is WARM for the winter, smart guy!" Daffy snapped. "But other ducks are so narrow-minded. They never want to try flying east or west."

Wile E. tapped Bugs on the shoulder and pointed up ahead.

Parked by the side of the road was the Packer. It just sat there, idling.

"I wonder..." Bugs thought to himself.

Sissy stuck her hand out the window and waved the Thunder Rodd on.

"Put on your seatbelts, guys." Bugs said as he started to drive past the Packer. "I have a hunch this could turn bad."

Daffy scoffed. "Quasimodo had a hunch, too. Look where it got him!"

As the Thunder Rodd gained ground, the Packer pulled out and chased after them.

"Just what I thought!" Bugs whispered as he gritted his teeth.

Bugs poured on the speed, but the Packer soon kept up with him and rammed his back bumper.

"HEY!" Daffy yelled.

Bugs grunted and opened up the throttle on the Thunder Rodd even more.

Sissy kept pace and bumped its back aggressively twice more. The second time, it caused the Thunder Rodd's rear windshield to break.

"Uh oh!" Taz grunted.

"Great! Now the cold's getting in!" moaned Daffy.

Wile E. held up a sign that said "Lose her!"

"I'm trying!" Bugs replied as he briefly drifted over to the hard shoulder to to try and lose the Packer and then got back on the road.

"You're not gonna shake me, bunny boy!" Sissy yelled as she kept up her pursuit.

She got on the right side of the Thunder Rodd and tried to force it into the side of a rockface.

This now caused the driver's side window to break as Bugs kept gunning the engine and trying to keep the Thunder Rodd under control.

The Packer slammed their side again, causing the windshield to break.

Bugs raised his foot up and kicked the windshield out so he could see where he was going.

"We're rapidly running out of windows here!" Daffy complained.

"Ahhh, shaddap!" Bugs yelled in annoyance as he managed to get ahead of the Packer.

He activated their shot of nitrous and got a bit ahead.

Sissy tried to catch up. As she did, the Packer slid a bit on the ice and she crashed through a couple of ice stalagmites.

She soon caught up with the Thunder Rodd.

Bugs pushed the old DeSoto for all it was worth as he headed up the crest of a hill.

As he neared the top, the rear tires lost traction in the heavy snow covering them.

"That's not good." he grumbled as he tried to move the car.

The Packer was almost on top of them.

"Game over!" smirked Sissy as she got near them.

Wile E. looked calm for some reason as he doodled on a notepad and smirked to himself.

As the Packer went full speed up the hill towards the Thunder Rodd with its off-road tires, the truck suddenly lifted a few feet off the ground.

"What the...?" yelled Sissy as the Packer, unable to stop because of its momentum, went sailing over the Thunder Rodd and over the top of the hill.

"This is NOT my day." Sissy whispered gloomily as the Packer came crashing down on the downward slope on the other side of the hill and rolled a few times.

The cab was eventually wrecked and landed on its wheels, coming to a halt.

Daffy looked at Wile E. in amazement.

"You knew that was going to happen?" he asked.

Wile E. held up the notepad and showed Daffy a very complicated diagram which detailed the Packer's momentum based on how fast it was going as well as the layout of the terrain and it predicted that it would crash.

"Glad you did your math right for once, Mr. Genius." Bugs smirked.

"Wish it could solve our heating problem, though." Daffy grumbled.

"Let's go check that truck out." Bugs said. "We may have nabbed a bad guy willing to talk!"

The Thunder Rodd's rear tires finally got free and Team Looney Tunes drove down the other side of the slope to what was left of the Packer. The driver's side door hung slightly open. The team stopped their car and climbed out.

"Let's apprehend the suspect." said Bugs.

Wile E. stepped forward and snuck up on the truck. He jumped on the cab and crawled across to the windshield. He looked into the cab and looked surprised. He held up a sign reading "She's not in there."

"It's amazing how he has oddly specific signs on him." said Bugs.

"Where she go?" asked Taz.

"Allow me." said Daffy.

Daffy strutted up to the truck and looked into the cab. He looked over the truck, then the surrounding area.

"Okay." said Daffy. "I have my conclusion. The only footprints around the truck are our own. Therefore, the only way the girl could have gotten out of here was to fly. Since she's not a bird, someone must have taken her instead. Good money says it was those aliens we were warned about. The case is, as they say, open..." He opened the door to the truck. "...and shut." He quickly slammed the door shut.

A rumble was heard. Daffy looked around confused. Then he looked up and looked scared. He looked back at his teammates and squeaked "Mother!"

A second later, he was buried by an avalanche.

---

Frank Castle navigated the Avenger through the snow on his way to the rest stop. As he stopped briefly to get his bearings, his radio crackled and Charlie Bucket's voice came over it.

"If there are any Cannonballers nearby, we could use some help!" Charlie's voice said.

Frank looked concerned. He then heard the sound of two engines going hell for leather with one sounding more powerful than the other, along with an air horn honking loudly and almost mockingly.

He looked off to his right and saw the Averse being pursued by the Rubble. Missy had found Team Wonka shortly after losing the Simpson family and had decided to make them her new victims. Willy was behind the wheel of the Averse and was doing a good job of keeping ahead of the red truck, but only just. Missy was just about five or six feet away from being on Team Wonka's back bumper.

Frank frowned and picked up his CB. "Team Wonka, this is the Punisher. I'm coming to help. Jam that engine, Willy! Don't slow down!"

"We have no intention of doing so!" Grandpa Joe said over the radio.

Frank reached into an inside pocket of his trenchcoat and pulled out a military device commonly known as a flash bang and then gunned the Avenger's engine as he got right behind the Rubble.

Missy was so wrapped up with her pursuit of Team Wonka that she didn't notice the Avenger coming up behind and eventually getting alongside her.

Frank honked his horn and got Missy's attention. She glanced over to her left side and saw Frank riding alongside her.

"Sometimes the most direct methods are the best." Frank thought to himself as he took one hand off the handlebars and flipped Missy the bird.

Missy angrily rolled down her window. As she did, Frank pulled the pin on the flash bang.

As Missy stuck her free hand out the open window and returned Frank's middle finger gesture, Frank hurled the flash bang into the Rubble's cab and quickly hit his brakes.

Before Missy knew what happened, the flash bang detonated. This caused a loud bang with a flash of light and smoke coming out of the stun device. It caused the windows on the Rubble's cab to shatter and the cab itself to fill with smoke.

Within seconds, Missy lost control of the truck and it went over on its right side and slid for several yards before coming to a halt.

Frank brought the Avenger to a halt and the Averse turned around and came over to him.

The stunned Missy crawled out of the upwards facing window of the wrecked Rubble. She was holding her head in pain and her vision was very blurred.

Willy got out of the Averse and shook Frank's hand vigourously. "Thanks very much for saving our hash there, Mr. Castle."

"Looks like we've got ourselves a villain with some explaining to do." Grandpa Joe agreed.

"I don't suppose you've got something you can restrain her with." Frank inquired.

Bill and Charlie climbed out with what looked like ropes made out of red licquorice.

"This stuff is very strong." Charlie explained. "It would take her a week to chew out of it."

"Then let's take her into custody." Frank smiled.

"She WILL be okay, though, won't she?" asked Willy.

"Her hearing may be a bit wonky for a few hours, but no lasting damage." Frank confirmed.

"That's fine." nodded Grandpa Joe. "Let's get her to the rest stop."

---

Bugs furiously dug into the avalanche with a snow shovel. "Hurry, guys!" he said. "Daffy needs our help!"

Wile E. blasted the avalanche with a snowblower from Acme while Taz ran into it while spinning. They heard a dog barking.

"Look! It's a rescue dog!" said Bugs.

A St. Bernard with a keg of whiskey hanging from its collar trotted up.

"This guy's going to help us out." said Bugs.

The dog dug into the avalanche and dragged out Daffy's body. He was frozen with a look of anger on his face. The dog uncorked his keg of whiskey and drank it. He then ran away barking and hiccuping.

Bugs, Taz, and Wile E. stared in shock.

---

Chrissy had turned out to have a bit more luck than her team-mates. She had come across the Ecureil and was now chasing it down with the Hauler.

"You can't outrun me forever, pussies!" She yelled in delight as she kept behind them at high speed and blew the air horn in triumph.

"This is not very good." Parfait groaned as she pushed the engine for all it was worth.

"You're right." Dice agreed. "In fact, it's very NOT good."

The Hauler herded them towards the edge of a sheer drop. As the Ecureil got closer to the edge, the Powerpuff Girls suddenly appeared in the air alongside them, holding a series of straps. All three of them dropped the edges of the straps towards the Ecureil.

Savo saw that they all had connecting devices on them. He and Dice opened the windows and pulled the straps inside.

"Hook up!" Blossom yelled.

"Right!" Savo replied as he connected the straps together in the middle.

"What's going on?" asked Parfait.

"Just keep driving!" Dice replied as they got right to the edge of the cliff.

As the high-tensile straps had been connected, the Powerpuff Girls held on to their ends and lifted the Ecureil off the ground just before it went off the cliff.

"Magnifique!" Parfait cheered as the girls flew off into the air carrying the team and their car with them to safety.

Chrissy quickly braked the Hauler before it went over the edge. She pounded the steering wheel in anger. "I friggin' hate those little goody two-shoes brats!" she snarled.

---

Homer pulled into the garage of a large base near the South Pole. "Here it is." he said. "The way station in Antarctica."

They climbed out of the car and looked around.

"I can't believe they built this place." said Lisa.

"I can't believe we get to stay here." said Bart.

"You guys secure some supplies." said Homer. "I'll look over the car."

Marge carried Maggie as she, Bart, and Lisa headed for the door. Homer got onto his hands and knees and looked under the Kowalski.

"Uh, guys?" asked Homer, confused.

The others turned to look at him.

Homer pulled a gooey, pink creature off of the undercarriage. "Whose brain is this?" he asked.

Lisa and Marge looked around in confusion while Bart felt the back of his head.

"Ah, it doesn't matter." said Homer as he threw the creature over his shoulder. It splattered against the wall.

---

"So, what's the deal with this place?" asked Max O'Grady as he looked around the rest station.

"It was originally built as a research facility two years ago." said Jeremy. "After the research mission was cancelled, it was converted into a rest area for the Cannonballers. Ironically, a pair of Cannonballers raced through the station while it was under construction. This is actually the second field of Cannonballers to use it. The first, of course, was last year."

"So, what are we doing to keep the Cannonballers safe?" asked Laura.

"The only thing we can do right now is organize a pre-emptive strike." said Duke. "That way, the infectees will be unable to attack the Cannonballers and you'll be safe."

"Some of the racers have combat experience." said Liam. "They'd also be seriously motivated to help."

"Yeah, have the racers been notified of the situation?" asked Max.

"They're being briefed now." said Jeremy. "Michael Bluth's briefing one group."

---

"These aliens possess some kind of spore that's designed to infest a living host." said Michael. "More than likely, they'll use those on some of us if they get the chance. If that were to happen, they'll turn us into mind-controlled slaves and we'll be forced to aid them in their bid to conquer the world. Also, we'd be considered a threat to the rest of the world and not be allowed to continue the race."

This last statement evoked a collective gasp from the Cannonballers assembled.

Michael nodded and said "Interesting, I would have expected that after 'they'll turn us into mind-controlled slaves.'"

"We worked that out for ourselves." Kelso stated.

Nearby, Team Viper were talking to Enzo and Charlie.

"So, you guys and the G.I. Joe brass knew about this but didn't tell us?" Westlake said testily. "And you sent some of your own guys into the race without telling them either?"

"Well, since the aliens wouldn't have been a threat until you got this far there was no point." Enzo explained. "Besides, we were hoping that we could contain the crisis without the Cannonballers finding out."

"I doubt that would have worked." Joe grumbled. He then nodded to Charlie. "I take it this guy here convinced you that keeping us in the dark was a necessary evil?"

"I already told you, Mr. PAYTON.." Charlie snarked. "..I no longer work for the Foxes. I turned my back on them and was given an opportunity to start with a clean slate by MASK 2, just as you were given a second chance after your time in the Outfit."

"Besides, Charlie here was just misguided and not actually a hardened criminal unlike the other Foxes." Enzo chipped in.

"Maybe. But we know that he invented those androids who came after us in Africa." Cole replied.

"You know, I thought you would be a little more receptive since I saved your collective hash from those very androids." said Charlie.

"What do you mean?" asked Joe.

"Why do you think they self-destructed?" asked Charlie.

(Flashback)

Jeremy, Enzo, and Charlie watched over the battle between Team Viper and the WASP droids from the nearest mountain.

"The WASP droids." said Charlie. "So, that's what happened to them."

"We've got to get in there!" said Enzo. "Those guys are gonna get chewed up!"

"I don't know." said Jeremy. "We can't not do anything but if we directly get involved, we'd be tipping our hand too early."

"I have an idea." said Charlie. "I can turn the tide in the Cannonballers' favor and all I have to do is speak."

Jeremy thought about it. "Alright, go for it." he said. "But there had better not be too much trouble."

"Trust me." said Charlie.

He got back into the Spark and picked up the radio.

"Now hear this: Kilroy." he said.

The WASP droids self-destructed one by one.

"Whoa!" yelled Jeremy. "That was effective!"

"That's my kind of work!" cheered Enzo.

(end flashback)

"You didn't think they just blew up on their own, did you?" asked Charlie. "I know we cut a lot of corners with them, but they weren't 'that' badly constructed."

"Well then...thanks." Joe smiled.

"I should think so." Charlie replied.

"Look, Laura, Liam, and Max already chewed us out about this. And Shipwreck and his team, not to mention the Cobra guys, aren't happy about it either." Enzo stated. "But we all have to put our heads together now and find a solution."

"Agreed." Westlake nodded.

Back at the front of the room, Fez posed a question to Michael Bluth.

"So, do we have a plan for dealing with these aliens, Mr. Bluth?" he asked.

"I think I heard that the Joes are formulating such a plan right now." Michael replied. "Until they give us the word, I think we should just sit tight."

"Sounds about right." Goofy replied. "Some of the cars have to be fixed anyway."

"So, what are we supposed to do?" Kelso asked his team-mates.

"Problem solved." said Hyde as he held up a plasic baggie full of a soil-coloured substance.

"NOW you're talking." Eric smirked. "Who was holding?"

"That Jay guy. Turned out he had some hidden on him after all." Hyde replied.

"Where was he hiding it?" asked Tuesday as she stood nearby.

"Don't ask." Corey warned. "I've heard stories."

"And I've heard there's a full bar at this place as well." smirked Venom.

Bam laughed as he opened a bottle of Cerveza Barracho.

"We want to have fun and we wanna get WASTED!" he sang obnoxiously.

"At least they found a silver lining." Michael thought to himself.

---

Elsewhere, Daffy sat in a hot tub.

"W-when I g-g-get my h-h-hands on those aliens," he said while shivering "th-th-they are g-g-going to p-p-p-pay."

"Easy, Daffy." said Bugs. "You were buried in snow for a while. Give us a few more minutes before we let you out of there."

"Huh?" said Taz while wearing a bib and holding a fork and spoon. "No duck soup?"

In an adjacent room, Missy was still tied up with Team Wonka's liquorice ropes and was being questioned by Willy and the Punisher.

"Was it necessary to tie her legs as well?" Willy asked Frank who had a pained look on his face.

"Considering she kicked me in the nuts, I'd say it was VERY necessary." Frank moaned.

"You two losers wait until I get out of this!" Missy snapped. "I'll do a whole lot worse than a simple groin shot!"

"We could just turn you over to the authorities and have you shipped back stateside and back into Bolingbroke Penetentiary for the crap you've been giving us this far in the race." Frank replied.

"Oh, sure. And when they find out you were the one who captured me, you'll be joining me there except you'll be on Death Row, Castle." Missy sneered. "You think you're this big hero but you're just a common lowlife killer!"

"I only kill common lowlifes if they're sadists, psychos, or rapists." Frank shot back.

"And, of course, the court would be swayed by a defence like that." Missy sarcastically replied.

"Now, let's try and calm down now." Willy chipped in. "We are all a bit stressed out now that we've found out about the aliens."

"Aliens?!" laughed Missy derisively. "Are you sure it's candy you're eating and not magic mushrooms, you dork?"

"It happens to be true." Frank assured her. He then got an idea. "We heard from our Warner friends in the jacuzzi next door that they have taken a friend of yours."

Missy looked concerned. "What?" she asked in a flat but stern tone.

"That's right." Willy nodded. "I think that maybe we can work a deal here."

"Keep talking." Missy replied in interest.

---

"Looks like the Cannonball is still going on." said Big Boss in his penthouse.

"I guess DeMarco and his men couldn't stop them." said Buttons.

"Neither can Banner." said Turbo. "But they'll keep trying."

"Yes, they will keep trying." said Big Boss as he walked into his study. "But they'll keep failing. And do you know why?"

"The Cannonballers are that good?" asked Turbo.

"They need better planning?" asked Buttons.

"No." said Big Boss as he opened his wall safe. "It's because he doesn't have the Total Anarchy mask." He pulled open the safe and displayed the interior...which was empty.

"Um...neither do you, boss." said Turbo timidly.

Big Boss looked at him confused, then looked into the safe. He freaked when he saw the mask was gone.

"When did that happen?" asked Buttons.

"It couldn't have!" said Big Boss. "It was still there when the race started and no one has been here other than the Beagle Boys...who must have taken it!"

"We'll start looking for them." said Buttons.

"Wait." said Big Boss. "The Beagle Boys have no reason to go after the Total Anarchy mask. They must have been working for someone who does."

"And who would that be?" asked Turbo.

"Who else?" asked Big Boss. "Jimmy. DeMarco. And right now, he needs to watch his back."

---

"Well, people, we have now heard that the Cannonballers are taking it easy until a plan to deal with the alien threat has been put in place." Veronica announced to the camera.

"But this break has been a welcome one for some of our racers as they had more than a few scrapes so far." Lazlow added.

"So, right now our field mechanic Skeeter is performing some much needed repairs and, hopefully, making the vehicles a bit tougher." Misty remarked.

"And our field reporter, Wes Mantooth, is on the scene at the rest stop to give us an update." Ron finished as an image of Wes in the garage in the Antarctic came on screen.

"That's right, Ron. Skeeter is indeed making sure that our Cannonball vehicles are in tip-top condition for the remainder of this little soiree of ours. I'll get a word with some of the racers right now." Wes announced as he made his way over to Team Midnight Club. All of the team were watching something out of the camera's range with confused looks on their faces.

"Hey, guys. What's up? Will you be able to race again soon?" Wes asked.

"We should be able to." said Dice. "We're just a bit confused by this."

The camera turned to show the Ecureil in the repair bay. Standing at the front of it, stroking the hood, was Bubbles. She was even talking to the car.

"It's okay, girl." Bubbles was saying. "You're tough. You can take on those nasty bad guys. What? You want Dice to stop putting his feet on your dashboard when he takes a break from driving? I'll let him know. I'm sure he doesn't do it to spite you."

"Um...okay." Wes said a bit unsurely as Blossom and Buttercup came to within range of the camera. Wes addressed the two of them.

"Girls, what's with your sister?" he asked.

"What did you say your car was called, Ms. Parfait?" Blossom asked.

"I named it the Ecureil. It's French for 'squirrel'." Parfait replied.

"Oh, that explains it." Blossom remarked.

"Huh?" Team Midnight Club chorused.

"Bubbles can speak squirrel fluently." Buttercup confirmed.

"But..." Savo began.

"Never mind." Dice sighed. "Has anything that's gone on thus far in this Cannonball made any sense?"

"Good point." Savo replied wisely.

"And, moving on, let's go have a word with Skeeter and see him work some of his magic." Wes hurriedly added as he went over to Skeeter's work space and the camera man followed him.

Skeeter's van was parked next to the Vulcano and Skeeter was welding some metal onto the parts of the car that had been damaged by gunfire. As Wes reached him, Skeeter stopped his work for a minute and lifted his welding mask to show his face.

"Hey there, Wes." Skeeter cheered. "Most of the damage the cars have taken has not been too severe. It could take time to repair them all, but I think we have enough time to fix them all up."

"Is there a repair which you think would be beyond your expertise?" asked Wes.

"Hey, man. I lived through the Gasoline Wars and was able to keep my good buddies on the road no matter what they faced. There's no repair I can't handle."

Wes then turned and noticed something else out of the camera's field of view.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked sheepishly.

Skeeter and the camera turned to show Skeletor's team of villains pushing the Comrade into the garage. Or rather, what was left of the Comrade.

The body was adorned all over with huge dents and cracks in the metal, the engine bay and the front of it were totally wrecked and leaking both oil and radiator fluid. In addition, the doors, bumpers and mirrors had all been ripped off and holes punched in the upholstery in the interior and the roof had been caved in so that there was no headroom in the vehicle at all.

Skeeter stood with his mouth agape for a few seconds.

"What the hell happened?" he asked eventually in shock.

"Don't ask us. Ask HIM!" Skeletor grumbled as he pointed to the sheepish looking Mean.

"A Hummer's supposed to be an armoured vehicle." Mean protested. "I thought it could take it."

Oil Can Harry sighed and leaned on the Comrade. As he did, the wheels fell off yet again and the body fell to the floor, getting even more wrecked by the impact.

"Right." Wes nodded grimly. "Well, here's hoping our people can get back on the road soon. Back to you, guys." he added quickly as the camera cut.

---

"What do we do during this layover?" asked Dominic.

"Well, that's what the place was set up for." said Brian. "Let's see what they've got."

They entered a room with Vince and found Shego and Drakken sitting on the couch. A pair of televisions and XBox Ones sat on the other side. A coffee table with a gong sat in front of the couch.

"Well, look who's here." said Drakken.

"Looking to play some games?" asked Shego.

"Depends." said Dominic. "Whatcha got?"

"Let's see." said Drakken. "Forza...Halo...Call of Duty. Oh, here's one."

He held up a copy of "The Cannonball Run" for the XBox One.

"'The Cannonball Run' by Tanaka Games." said Vince.

"Oh, that's right." said Dominic. "The Tanaka Brothers ran the race two years ago to do the research for this game. It came out just before the race started."

"How's it selling?" asked Vince.

"Not well." said Dominic. "It turns out players are too busy watching the race to play it."

"Want to play?" asked Shego.

"What do you say, Vince?" asked Brian.

"You want me to play?" asked Vince.

"Sure, go for it." said Brian.

"Okay." said Vince. He ran to the couch.

"Brian, what are you doing?" asked Dominic.

"Come on, you've seen how down Vince has been since the race started." said Brian. "I think if he were to win this game, it would really lift his spirits and maybe make him more pleasant and competent."

"And what if he loses?" asked Dominic.

Brian thought about this for a second, then said "Run."

Vince picked up his controller and got ready to play. Drakken picked up his as well. They both selected LAN play.

"Which course?" asked Drakken as Dominic left.

"How about Sweden?" asked Vince.

They selected Sweden and waited for the game to start. Drakken quickly started tapping the face buttons.

"Ready?" said the game's announcer.

"I don't recognize that announcer's voice." said Brian. "It's nice to see they spared all expense."

"Go!" called the announcer. Shego rung the gong.

Drakken's car took off instantly while Vince's car stayed put.

"Why won't this car move?" yelled Vince.

"Well, it's an XBox game." said Brian.

"So?" asked Vince.

"So most XBox racing games use right trigger instead of the face button." said Brian.

"Oh!" said Vince as he pulled the right trigger. "I'm used to the Playstation 3."

Drakken's car whipped through the turns and quickly made it to the finish. "Yeah!" he yelled.

Vince pounded the couch in frustration.

"Hey, you'll get him next time." said Brian.

"Yeah, I should." said Vince. "I can't believe his car was so fast through the course. It was like he was twice as fast as me."

"It looked that way to me too." said Brian. "I thought he topped out about twice as high as...wait a minute."

He looked over at Drakken's controller, then at Vince's. He analyzed the face buttons and looked at Drakken furiously.

"You used a cheat code?" yelled Brian to Drakken.

"Maybe." said Drakken.

"You couldn't beat him properly, so you cheated your way to victory!" said Brian. "How is that fair?"

"It's in the game." said Shego.

"It doesn't take skill to play cheap!" said Brian.

"Brian, relax!" said Vince. "The next level is coming up."

---

Jay sat in the lounge while Silent Bob aimed his cell phone's camera at him. "Do I look alright?" asked Jay.

Silent Bob nodded.

"Got the lyrics for you." said Brodie as he handed over an iPad opened to a lyrics website. "What is this song about anyway?"

"According to the artist, the inimitable Nik Kershaw," said Jay "it's about nothing. It's a series of nonsense phrases he just put down as a guide vocal. He meant to put proper lyrics to it, but never came up with any. His record company loved it so they convinced him to record it anyway and call it 'The Riddle' because it makes no sense."

"Just a bunch of random phrases? Sounds like that R.E.M. song." said Brodie.

"Right." said Jay. "Okay, let's do this."

Silent Bob pointed to him and said "Action."

"One." said Jay. "Two. One two three." He pressed play on a nearby CD player. A karaoke CD started to play. After some time, Jay started to sing. As he sang, Silent Bob and Brodie began to envision the 'music video' in their heads. The wall behind Jay opened up to reveal a wall covered in discarded junk.

I got two strong arms, blessings of Babylon.
and time to carry on and try for sins and false alarms.
So to America the brave.
Wise men save.

Jay strolled into the hall as Beavis and Butthead ran past. More junk adorned the walls.

Near a tree by a river.
There's a hole in the ground.
Where an old man of Arran.
Goes around and around.

Jay opened a drawer and found mice crawling around.

And his mind is a beacon in the veil of the night.
For a strange kind of fashion.
There's a wrong and a right.
But he'll never, never fight over you.

Jay walked over to a small window and peered through it. He saw Brodie sitting in a fountain reading a comic book.

I've got plans for us, nights in the scullery.
And days instead of me.
I only know what to discuss,
Oh, for anything but right.
Wise men fighting over you.

Jay continued down the junk-lined hall. Snake-Eyes walked across the hall behind him. Jay turned around just after he slipped through a door.

It's not me, you see, pieces of valentine.
With just a song of mine to keep from burning history.
Seasons of gasoline and gold.
Wise men fold.

Jay tried to open a door, only to find it locked. The knob came off in his hand. He tossed it over his shoulder and kept walking.

Near a tree by a river.
There's a hole in the ground.
Where an old man of Arran.
Goes around and around.

Jay found a book on a table, picked it up, and opened it. A house popped up and he dropped it in shock.

And his mind is a beacon in the veil of the night.
For a strange kind of fashion.
There's a wrong and a right.
But he'll never, never fight over you.

Jay found a door with no knob next to a crooked painting. He straightened the painting and tried to push the door open. It didn't open.

I got time to kill. Sly looks in corridors,
Without a plan of yours, a blackbird sings on bluebird hill.
Thanks to the calling of the wild.
Wise men's child.

A marching band marched out of a side door as Jay watched. They marched out another door and past a window.

Near a tree by a river.
There's a hole in the ground.
Where an old man of Arran.
Goes around and around.

Jay picked up a model car from a nearby shelf and looked at it. He put it back and the shelf collapsed.

And his mind is a beacon in the veil of the night.
For a strange kind of fashion.
There's a wrong and a right.
But he'll never, never fight over you.

Jay walked around a corner and looked over a group of small pictures on the wall. He took one off the wall and slipped it into his coat.

Near a tree by a river.
There's a hole in the ground.
Where an old man of Arran.
Goes around and around.

Jay came to the end of the hall and found a window. He looked through the window at a snowy landscape.

And his mind is a beacon in the veil of the night.
For a strange kind of fashion.
There's a wrong and a right.
But he'll never, never fight over you.

Jay reappeared in the lounge.

No, he'll never never fight over you.

-"The Riddle" by Nik Kershaw.

Bob lowered his camera and swept his hand across his throat.

"That was great." said Brodie.

"Not bad." said Jay. "You should really consider this film directing thing."

Silent Bob turned to the camera and smirked.

---

Vince got ready to play the next level against Drakken. "What was that about a cheat code?" he asked.

"If you key in A-B-B-A while the Sweden track loads, it makes your car go twice as fast." said Brian.

"We're hitting Vegas now." said Vince. "I'd like to see them try that again."

"Don't worry." said Brian. "These codes are only good for one level each."

As the Vegas track loaded, Drakken keyed in Y-Y-Y-D-L-Y-L-A.

"And you can't play fair for once?" yelled Brian.

Shego rung the gong again. The two cars started but Drakken's promptly left Vince's in the dust. Vince tried to keep up, but Drakken's car crossed the finish line in record time.

"Victory!" cheered Shego.

Vince threw down his controller and stormed over to them. Brian ran up to stop him.

"Easy." said Brian. "You can't just attack them. That might get us disqualified."

"He's a cheater!" said Vince. "You said so yourself! I can't let him get away with this!"

"I'm sure the game won't allow it." said Brian. "You'll beat him. I just know it."

Vince seethed and sat back on the couch. Brian sat next to him.

"Last level is France." said Vince.

"First race was worth one point, second was worth two." said Brian. "The third is worth four points. If you win this, you win the whole shooting match."

"Ready to lose again?" asked Drakken.

"Ignore him." said Brian.

As the track loaded, Drakken keyed in B-A-L-L-A-R-D.

"You're gonna win." said Brian. "You gotta win."

"Ready?" called the announcer. "Go!"

Shego rung the gong once again. Drakken hit the right trigger on his controller and the controller slipped out of his hands. "Oh snap!" he yelled.

"Go. Go!" yelled Brian.

Vince hit the trigger and tore off. Drakken reached down to pick up the controller and knocked it under the couch.

"Get it!" yelled Shego.

"I'm trying!" yelled Drakken as he got his arm tangled in the controller's lead.

Vince drove his game car through the turns with a wild-eyed grin on his face. Halfway through the course, Drakken finally got his controller.

"Now go!" yelled Shego.

Drakken started to chase Vince, but it was too late. Vince crossed the finish line and won the match.

"YEAH!" he screamed. "YEAH!" He picked up the gong and rang it repeatedly. He ran over to Drakken and yelled "YEAH!" right to his face. Brian started to laugh.

Vince ran out into the hallway while screaming "YEAH!" His cheers could be heard all the way down the hall.

Brian walked over to the doorway laughing hysterically. Dominic walked over.

"What's going on?" asked Dominic.

"Vince played Drakken at the 'Cannonball Run' game." laughed Brian. "But Drakken kept putting in cheat codes and beating him. The third time, he dropped his controller and couldn't pick it up in time to beat Vince. Now, he's running around the base screaming his head off."

Dominic laughed. He turned to Drakken and said "And what have we learned about cheating?"

"It's fun while it lasts." said Drakken.

"Good, just so that's clear." said Dominic.

Buster and Tobias met with Babbage and his students.

"So, do you think we can handle these aliens?" asked Sorenson.

"They're in the way of our allies." said Babbage. "So, I guess we're going to have to, hmmm?"

"I can't wait!" said Lu. "We're just gonna go in there and crank crank crank! Then we're gonna whack whack whack! Then we're gonna bang bang bang!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lu!" laughed Tobias. "Look, I admire your enthusiasm and I want to 'bang' these guys as much as you do. But without a plan and some decent intel, we might as well hand them victory."

"He has a point." said Duke as he entered with the MASK 2 agents. "We need some intel on the aliens before we go in. Because intel is knowing and knowing is half the battle."

"Then it's a good thing we're here." said Jeremy. "We've been fighting these aliens for a while now and we've been picking up the intel you need."

"Anything basic you can tell us?" asked Duke.

"Well, I think we should first bring up their method of infection." said Jeremy. "Their spore pods are roughly the size of a bowling ball. So if you see a rock about that size, be careful. Elapsed time between initial infection and complete takeover is rather short, maybe a couple of seconds. So, be wary of anyone who's been out of your sight for longer than that."

"Gee, now he just feels paranoid." said Enzo.

"Wait a minute." said Buster. "Michael was out of our sight for longer than a couple of seconds when he went to check out that disturbance."

"You're right!" said Tobias. "And that disturbance turned out to be an alien infection."

"And Michael was the one who briefed the Cannonballers on the aliens." said Buster. "Who would know more about aliens than someone who's been turned into one?"

"Also a good way to hide the infection." said Tobias. "Wouldn't you implicitly trust someone who was warning you about a threat and assume they weren't that threat?"

Buster whimpered. "They got Michael."

"Right." said Tobias. "We must take action."

Michael walked into the room. "Well, if they weren't a little jumpy before, they certainly are now." he said.

"Hey, brother." said Buster. "If that's what you still are!"

"Excuse me?" asked Michael.

"My good man, how can you identify if someone has been infected with the alien spores?" asked Tobias.

"When the lights are out, their eyes glow yellow." said Jeremy.

"Thank you." said Tobias. He grabbed Michael's head and held his hand over his eyes.

"What are you doing?" groaned Michael. "No touching!"

"Just let us check if you're E.T!" said Tobias.

"Get your hands off me, anus tart!" groaned Michael.

"Good grief." muttered Laura. She reached over and hit the light switch.

The lights turned out. Michael's eyes did not glow.

"Oh." said Tobias as he released Michael. Michael just glared at him.

Laura turned the lights back on. "Happy now?" she asked.

"Sorry, I was just making sure you were still on our side." said Tobias.

"That's it." said Michael. "I'm out of this family."

---

David took a moment to use the bathroom. As he relieved himself, Elizabeth walked through the wall.

"Yee!" he yelped. "Ah, don't do that!"

"Relax, I'm a doctor." said Elizabeth.

"At least I'm already peeing." said David.

"So, what did you think of that?" asked Elizabeth. "The aliens taking people over?"

Venom walked in and went to one of the sinks.

"Honestly, I'm worried." said David.

"Yeah, me too." said Elizabeth as Venom started to wash his hands.

"I'm just worried about them getting to you." said David.

Venom looked over his shoulder confused as he turned off the water.

"Don't worry." said Elizabeth. "My body's back at the hospital. They're nowhere near there."

"But I just think of you lying there without moving." said David.

Venom's face turned to disgust.

"What, you think I'm completely helpless?" asked Elizabeth.

"Well, now." said David. "I mean normally, you're up and around. But now, you're a little inactive, you know."

"David, stop worrying." said Elizabeth. "The hospital has a top notch security staff. They know about the aliens. I'll be fine."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." said David.

"You know I'm right." said Elizabeth. "Now, let's take care of those alien invaders."

She turned and walked back through the wall.

"Okay." said David.

David zipped up his pants, turned around, and came face-to-face with Venom. Venom looked him over, shook his head, and said "I don't do that."

---

The Cannonballers headed into a large cafeteria. "Alright, it's time for a briefing." said Duke.

"You know," said the Drake "it seems like we plan attacks against our enemies more than we actually race."

The Cannonballers gathered in the cafeteria.

"Okay, here's what we know." said Duke. "Our latest threat is a group of aliens who use spores to take over human hosts. They've set up a base here in Antarctica which is an issue since you'll have to work your way past them to continue the race."

"Normally, that would involve taking a detour." said Jeremy. "Unfortunately, it's come to our attention that they've captured one of the operatives working for DeMarco. If she ends up getting taken over, that could be an issue."

"The base is also a good place to base a pursuit." said Duke. "Even if you do manage to avoid them, a chase would most likely result and that could prove costly."

"So, we get in, cause a bit of chaos, rescue the girl, and go on our merry way." said Frank Castle.

"That's about the size of it." said Jeremy.

"Ah, just like with Yuri two years ago." said Lara.

"Yes, that was quite impressive work you did." said Duke.

"Be careful." said Snake. "I think that a group of alien possessed freaks would be more dangerous than a psychic soldier and his minions."

"Then perhaps I should help."

Everybody turned to see Missy enter the room, flanked by Willy Wonka and Frank Castle.

"Someone's gotta check the security on this place." said Jesse James in agreement, after an unsure pause. "Who better than someone whose profession regularly involves bypassing security?"

"What are you doing here?" asked the Drake of Missy.

"They've captured my friend." said Missy. "I'm not letting them turn her into an alien drone."

"Wait." said Tanner. "You want to help US?"

"Strange bedfellows, huh?" asked Missy.

Jessie looked Missy over. "You should do something about that hairstyle." she remarked in distaste.

Missy looked at Jessie down her nose. "Look who's talking." she joked.

"WHHAAAAT?" Jessie yelled as James and Giovanni restrained her.

"Hey, time out!" Frank Castle announced. "We've got bigger things to worry about. So, let's go deal with them."

"Right." the assembled group chorused.

"Not everybody has to come, though. We should hopefully need only a few willing teams to help out." Flint announced.

"Oh, one more thing." said Duke. "We're going to need someone to watch over the battlefield and take out any threats from a distance."

"Be a sniper?" asked Jesse James. "Where do I sign up?"

"Can you handle this?" asked Duke as he picked up a sniper rifle.

"Sure can." said Jesse as Duke handed the rifle to him.

"This is a special prototype rifle which our guys have developed." Duke explained as he pointed to a lever on the side of the rifle. "Flip the lever to the mark that says 'R' and it becomes a rapid fire shooter."

"Cool." Jesse smirked.

"Okay. Dawn's up in less than an hour." Scarlett announced. "We hit the base then."

---

Less than an hour later...

"Looks like we're going into action." said David as he and Darryl entered the garage.

"Heck, yeah." said Darryl.

"So, we've just gotta..." said David before seeing an empty parking space. "Darryl, where's the Megere?"

"It was right here." said Darryl. "You didn't lend out the keys, did you?"

"Why would I do that?" asked David.

The Megere suddenly drove around the corner.

"Who's driving?" asked Darryl.

The Megere drove under a ceiling light, revealing that the car was empty.

"What the hell?" asked David.

The Megere came to a stop and Elizabeth emerged from the car. "Is this a nice car or what?" she exclaimed.

"Liz?" asked David. "What are you doing?"

"Remember when I possessed that girl at the party?" asked Elizabeth. "I got to thinking 'what if I could do that with a car?' So, I decided to try it out a little and went for a little joyride."

"How did you start it without the key?" asked David.

"That would take too long to explain." said Elizabeth.

"Does this mean you're going to do your share of the driving?" asked David.

"Just don't rely on me too much." said Elizabeth.

---

Corvax drove towards the alien base with Missy in his passenger seat. Beavis and Butthead sat in the back.

Corvax turned on the two-way radio and listened into the alien transmissions.

"Base to scout one." said one alien.

"Go ahead, base." said another.

"What's your twenty?" asked base.

"I'm...uh..." said the other. "I'm...where the hell am I?"

"So, this is your race car." said Missy.

"Yes, it is." said Corvax. "And I have a number of systems built in to grant some kind of advantage and I can activate them through the use of the control panel."

"I can't help but notice that the control panel is shut down on my side." said Missy.

"Fancy that." said Corvax.

"I assume you're afraid I'm going to monkey with your systems." said Missy.

"Can't be too careful." said Corvax.

"Says someone who allowed someone into his car who can wipe the floor with him." said Missy.

"She said 'wipe'." said Butthead. Beavis snickered.

---

Corey drove the Bonfire towards the alien base. "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Like A Surgeon" played over the car's CD player.

"Here we go again." said Roger.

"Relax, Roger." said Corey. "We've got this. Remember back in Europe with the vampires?"

"Don't remind me." said Katie. "I was afraid I'd never get a decent tan again."

"Someone needs to get her priorities straight." said Tuesday.

"Yeah, we kicked undead ass." said Roger.

"Uh, you were undead ass." said Tuesday.

"So, who's to say we can't do it again?" asked Corey.

"Yeah!" said Roger. "We're working with the best. We can't lose!"

"Hell, they'll be glad to have us on their side." said Corey.

"Coming up, another victory for the New Berlin Boys!" said Roger.

David and Darryl rode in the Megere as Elizabeth "drove".

"How are you doing, Liz?" asked David.

"First of all, don't call me that." said Elizabeth. "Second of all, I'm doing okay for now. I'm starting to get the hang of this."

"Ah, that's good to hear." said David. "She's getting used to driving it." he told Darryl.

"Righteous." said Darryl. "Less work for us."

In the Barbarian, Michael drove along and took a quick glance at the Megere. He promptly noticed Elizabeth's new ability.

"KITT, neither of those guys are driving that car." he said. "Do they have an AI like yours?"

"My sensors do not detect any computer systems in the Triumph." said KITT. "It would appear that the car is driving itself."

"How is that possible?" asked Michael.

"I do not know." said KITT. "But it would seem to be in line with anything else going on right now."

---

Back at Team Rocket's headquarters, the group cleaned up after their party.

"That was quite a party." said Oakley as she picked up pieces of trash off the sofa and put them in a bag.

"You said it." said Cassidy as she straitened the pictures on the wall. "I think I might need to do some tai chi to come down from that."

"Well, you can do that after we've finished cleaning up." said Oakley. "By the way, have you seen Annie? She was supposed to be helping us."

"I haven't seen her since the party." said Cassidy. "You don't suppose she left with someone?"

"Well, they'd better return her soon." said Oakley as she picked up a soda can from a trash-covered coffee table. "Otherwise, we might..."

Suddenly, she noticed an eye looking through the glass of the coffee table where the soda can had been. She put down the bag and quickly cleared the table of trash. After the table was cleared off, they could see Annie trapped under the glass pleading for them to help her.

"That WAS some party." said Cassidy as she and Oakley lifted the coffee table and Annie crawled out from under it.

"Thank you." gasped Annie.

"How did you get under there?" asked Oakley.

"Well, I..." said Annie.

Butch ran into the room and yelled "Hey, we've got a problem!"

Seconds later, everyone had gathered around the swimming pool to find a car at the bottom.

"Is that the boss's car?" asked Domino.

"I think it is." said Annie.

"How did it get in there?" asked Cassidy.

"I think the more important question is 'How do we get it out?'" said Oakley.

---

The Starlight, Usagi, Maniac 2, Bonfire, Destroyer, and Aquilla pulled up outside the base. The occupants climbed out. Jordan and Veronica stayed in the Usagi.

A short distance behind them, the R.O.C.C., Black Knight, Falcon, Firestorm, and Ignition took up position on a hilltop. Lara and her team along with Tommy, Claude and C.J. climbed out of the R.O.C.C. whilst Duke took up position in the vehicle's gun turret and Flint lowered the rear hatch. Cover Girl drove down the ramp on a Silver Mirage motorcycle with Shipwreck riding in the side car and Scarlett and Snake Eyes joined the group. Babbage and his students climbed out of the back of the R.O.C.C. as well.

"Alright, guys." said Buffy to her group. "Time to raise a little havoc."

"Any suggestions?" asked Jordan.

"Drive like you're in an international road race." said Buffy.

"Yeah, I've heard there's been one going on." said Veronica.

"Can I come with you?" asked Missy.

"I don't see why not." said Buffy as Jordan drove off.

"Let's go." said Liam.

Jesse, Body Drop, and Tombstone climbed to the top of a ridge near the base. Jesse unfolded the bipod on the sniper rifle.

"Tombstone, watch our backs." said Jesse.

"Got it." said Tombstone as he looked down the hill.

"I can see the aliens milling about." said Body Drop as he looked through a pair of binoculars.

"Cool." said Jesse.

The MASK 2 and Cobra teams reached the gates. Destro peeked around the corner and saw a dozen alien infected humans.

"What's the weather going to be?" asked one.

"We may get something warm and wet...in the form of snow, of course." said another.

"This is going to be difficult at best." said Destro.

"Please." said Max. "Allow me."

"Let him." said Zartan. "We've seen what he can do."

Max stepped out from their hiding place and yelled "Hey, zombies! How does one get infected by space vomit?"

The infected humans rushed towards him.

"Oh, now you're acting like a well-oiled machine!" said Max. "All that supposed toughness and you can't even ward off alien possession."

"What is he doing?" groaned Cobra Commander.

"Watch." said Laura.

The aliens swarmed Max.

"Okay, I'll say it." said Max. "Whisper, on!"

His mask surrounded him in a pale blue glow. Suddenly, the infected humans crumpled to the ground dizzily.

"Aw, nobody wants to play with me!" said Max in a mock sad voice. He moonwalked out of the crowd while circling his hands.

The others came out of hiding and joined him.

"He's cocky." said the Baroness. "That's for sure."

"Aye." said Liam. "But he's fun at parties."

One of the infectees started to get up. Missy grabbed him and threw him up against the wall. "Okay, pal!" she said. "Where's the girl?"

"Which one?" asked the man.

"The one you kidnapped out of the truck!" said Missy.

"What's your problem?" asked the man.

"Oh, it's no big thing." said Buffy. "It's just that you're a guy."

"Tell me, dammit!" yelled Missy. "Where is she?"

"She's in the holding cell." said the man. "That's where we let our victims join us."

"We have to hurry." said Buffy.

They ran towards the prison.

"You might as well give up." said the man. "She's most likely one of us by now."

Buffy walked over to him. "I didn't catch that." she said. "What did you say?"

"I said..."

Buffy grabbed him by his head and shoved him into a metal rail lips-first. He tried to get up only to discover he was frozen to the rail.

"Don't try us." said Buffy as she walked away.

"Hey, can we come with you?" asked Sorensen.

"I guess so." said Buffy.

"Well, we need to disable their detection systems and we could use your protection, hmmm?" said Babbage.

"Come along." said Missy.

They entered the building together and snuck down a hallway.

"I didn't know yogurt could freeze." asked an alien.

"It's called 'frozen yogurt'." said another.

"I guess they're all watching the game." said Missy.

Two alien possessed humans jumped out of a doorway.

"We ARE the game." said Buffy as she raised her fists.

Sorensen activated his hammer and smacked one of them in the head. The alien fell onto his back with a dazed look on his face. Buffy traded punches with the other one and took him down with a series of roundhouse kicks.

"We chose the right protector, hmmm?" said Babbage.

Another alien jumped around the corner to attack. Missy threw a kick into his chest and followed up with a punch to the head. The alien fell unconscious.

"Come on!" she said.

They made their way up the stairs and came upon a sign directing them to various rooms. The holding cells and generator room were on opposite sides of the floor.

"We'll take the generator and bang, bang, bang!" said Lu.

"Good, we'll get the hostage." said Buffy.

Buffy and Missy ran off towards the holding cells while Babbage, Sorensen, and Lu made their way to the generator room.

In the holding cell, Sissy was shackled to a table. "What are you doing to me?" she asked.

"Don't worry." said a man wearing a lab coat and carrying a spore meteor. "In a few minutes, it will all be over."

Missy quickly kicked in the door. "Yes, it will." she said. "But not how you originally planned."

"Ah, more recruits." said the man.

Missy lunged at him and punched him in the solar plexus. He dropped the meteor onto the table between Sissy's feet.

Missy punched the man a couple more times in the head, then grabbed his collar and flipped him onto his back.

"You might be better at this than I am." said Buffy.

"Now is not the time." said Missy.

"Guys!" yelled Sissy. Buffy and Missy looked in her direction to see the meteor hissing and bubbling on one side, ready to expel its spores.

Buffy and Missy looked around for something to take care of the meteor. They both looked down, picked up the man, and dropped him on top of the meteor. It erupted, but the spores were contained within the man's lab coat.

"Are you alright?" asked Missy.

"I'm a little grossed out, but I'm fine." said Sissy.

"I can't believe we came so close to failing." said Missy.

"Thank you." said Sissy. "Wait, what's she doing here?"

"Mutual enemies." said Buffy as she quickly undid Sissy's shackles. "Just a few more and we're out of here."

"I can't believe I have you to thank for saving me." said Sissy.

"Well, I talked it over with the race officials." said Buffy. "We decided that we couldn't allow you to be taken over."

"Oh, that's nice." said Sissy. "It's great that you and your race officials have such respect for their adversaries."

"No, it's not that." said Buffy. "We realized you'd be more dangerous as an alien."

Elsewhere...

"So, this is the generator." said Sorensen.

"Be careful." said Babbage. "This is a device that produces electricity. Wouldn't want to get electrocuted, hmmm?"

"Let's take it apart!" yelled Lu.

She charged towards the generator with a wrench. She smashed at the casing with the wrench and finally got it to crack open. She hit the coils with the wrench and got repelled by the shock.

She sat up with shocked straight hair and shook her head. "Wow, my arm feels funny." she said.

"I guess we should be glad she can feel anything." said Sorensen.

"I guess I'd better handle this, hmmm?" said Babbage.

He looked over the parts of the generator, then up at the ceiling. He used his hammer on the ceiling and broke a hole in it. He stepped away as a pile of snow slipped through the hole and landed in the coils. The generator started giving off massive sparks before dying completely. The radar dish outside came to a halt and the radar screens in the room went dead.

"Now, let's see what that Buffy girl is up to, hmmm?" said Babbage.

An alarm klaxon suddenly blared into life around the complex.

"Time to go!" Lu chirped.

"Intruders! Intruders!" a voice announced over a loud speaker in the base's courtyard.

J.J. and Victor watched this on a screen at Race Central via satellite.

"Things are about to get interesting." Victor smirked.

Moby and Toni each took up positions at two keyboard set-ups as Jim Adkins of Jimmy Eat World picked up his guitar and stood behind a microphone. Rick Burch joined him with his bass and Zach Lind sat at his drum kit.

"We've got some great fighting music to help you guys out." Moby announced over the open channel.

"I hope it's not country music." Flint replied. "Cross-Country calls that genre fighting music because everybody wants to punch him out when he plays it."

"Don't worry. You'll love this." Jim smirked as Moby began with a long, keyboard intro to their song.

Outside the base, infected human troops ran into the courtyard and prepared to arm themselves.

"Eat this, you turkeys!" Duke yelled from the R.O.C.C.'s gun turret as he opened fire. He took care not to harm any of the infected humans but kept them running and dodging the fire.

Cobra Commander and the Baroness followed suit by laying down some cover fire. As a couple of the troops raced for some nearby trucks, Destro fired his wrist rockets at the vehicles and blew them to pieces.

Mad Max, Tommy, Claude and C.J. took out a few more empty vehicles with their shotguns by aiming for the gas tanks.

Cover Girl and Shipwreck roared into the fray on the Silver Mirage and Shipwreck took out some more vehicles and a weapons store with the cannon attached to the Silver Mirage's side car.

A short while later, Rick started on the bass as Moby continued with the keyboards, with Toni joining in with a bass keyboard riff.

Then, Zach started on drums follwed by Jim on vocals.

Dominoes falling.
Riot in the streets.
Baby, this time there's no retreat.
There's no surrender.

Buffy, Sissy, and Missy made their way to the exit. "Hurry." said Buffy.

Missy kicked open the door and they stepped out. They found themselves staring down a red Freightliner Coronado with a dump trailer.

"Well, as far as guardians go, this is odd." said Buffy.

The front fenders folded down to become "feet" while the rear wheels did the same. The truck's sleeper cab split and extended to the sides to reveal missile pods. The trailer split down the middle to reveal laser cannons and folded on top of the cab. The nose of the tractor folded downward to reveal a laser turret.

"Okay, now it makes sense!" said Buffy.

Missy got on the radio. "Liam, we just encountered a tractor-trailer that transformed into a...steel beast!"

"Oh, for the love of..." said Liam over the radio. "You've met the Asteroid!"

"What's its weak point?" asked Sissy.

"WHAT weak point?" replied Liam.

Buffy, Missy, and Sissy looked at the Asteroid in shock and pondered their next move. Missy screamed and started firing her handgun at the machine. The bullets harmlessly glanced off the the cab.

A devil is rising.
A shadow from the past.
Feeding the flames with fire.
On the edge of fury.

On the nearby ridge, Jesse and Body Drop watched through their scopes. They turned to each other and stared in disbelief. "That ain't gonna work." said Body Drop.

"Um, what are you doing?" asked Buffy.

"More than you!" said Missy.

"No you're not!" said Sissy. "You're wasting ammo and not doing any damage!"

"We need a new plan." said Buffy.

Babbage, Sorensen, and Lu ran out of the building. "Oh, kewl!" said Lu when she saw the Asteroid.

"Welcome to the fire." said Buffy. "I hope you enjoyed your flight from the frying pan. By the way, love the hair."

"Thank yew!" said Lu.

"Do you have any ideas on how to defeat that thing?" asked Missy.

"We have to get at the internals." said Babbage. "But right now, I don't see how to get to those."

"No harm in trying." said Sissy.

She started looking for a possible weak point. She spotted the truck's grill. She fired on the grill and started to chip it away. Jesse looked through his scope, flipped his rifle's lever to the 'R' mark and fired on the cab.

Out of time.
Running in and out of time.
Hear the ticking on the countdown clocks tonight.

"Uh, there was a laser cannon behind that a few minutes ago." said Buffy.

"So?" asked Sissy.

"So, there's no internals there." said Buffy.

"They must be centrally located." said Lu.

"Cab must be armored." said Jesse as he took his finger off the trigger.

"So, you're gonna stop wasting bullets?" asked Body Drop.

"Yup." said Jesse as he directed his fire at the other aliens.

A few of the aliens tried to storm up the hillside which the others had set up on, but Team Lara, Captain Chaos and his team, Scarlett, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow engaged them in hand-to-hand combat with their martial arts. It was a tough battle, but the Cannonballers handled it well.

Girl we need some, girl we need some action.
If we're gonna make it like a true survivor.
We need some action.
If we wanna take our love away from here.

"There must be an access panel or something." said Sorensen.

Jake watched from the Black Knight on the hillside.

"Time to act." he said. He shifted back into his Wraith form and put the car into gear.

"HEY!" yelled Mad Max as the Wraith drove off.

Buffy and her group were still struggling to take out the Asteroid.

"This is uphill work." moaned Missy.

"Hold it." said Lu. "Does anyone else hear a vroom, vroom, vroom?"

The Wraith steered the Black Knight towards the Asteroid. The Asteroid's driver turned to see him coming. He rotated the laser cannons towards him and fired. The Black Knight was blasted onto its roof. Then it rolled back onto its wheels with its tires and engine bay on fire.

The Black Knight rammed into the Asteroid and tore through the lower body. The Asteroid stumbled as a section of the hull fell away. The Black Knight drove off, still on fire.

We need a living passion.
To believe in.
Burning hearts and a brand new feeling.
Action.
If we're gonna make it like a true survivor.

"There's our internals." said Missy.

Buffy, Sorensen, and Lu ran for the hole in the Asteroid's hull and jumped in. They looked around at the hydraulics and electronics. "Oh, this might be beyond our expertise." said Sorensen.

"Just look for the things with blinking lights." said Buffy. "Those should be the control systems. Please don't ask me how I knew that."

"This one's going blink, blink, blink!" said Lu as she pointed to a large box with blinking, red lights on it.

"Then let's hit the permanent off switch." said Buffy.

Sorensen activated his barrel and struck the box while Lu fired on them with her crossbow. Buffy grabbed a piece of frame and threw it at the box. The box broke open and started throwing off sparks.

The Asteroid stopped walking towards Babbage, Missy, and Sissy. It fell to its side and its guns shut down.

"Did we?" asked Sissy.

Buffy climbed out of the hole and asked "Did we get it?"

Wo oh.

Calling from the ashes.
The phoenix rise again.
Fighting for life.
For good, for all that we believe in.

Jordan drove towards a storage shed full of spore pods. "Get the bombs ready." she said.

"Got it." said Veronica.

Jordan drove through the storage shed and popped open the trunk. Veronica grabbed the bombs and tossed them at the spore pods.

As they drove through, Jordan saw a strange device with a mini-radar dish on it sitting on a shelf. She grabbed hold of it as The Usagi drove out of the shed. "That's all of them." said Veronica.

Jordan pulled out a small box and pressed a button. The shed exploded.

"Ha ha, who's your daddy?" said Jordan.

Veronica grabbed her arm and said "Please don't say that."

"Sorry." Jordan added.

"What's that thing?" Veronica asked about the device.

Jordan shrugged. "Maybe the Doctor will know because of his connections."

Several of the aliens and Cannonballers traded fire, as other Cannonballers battled the infectees in hand-to-hand combat.

"SNOOCH TO THA MUTHAJUMPIN' NOONCH!" Jay yelled as he, Silent Bob and Captain Chaos jumped off a ridge and took down one group of the aliens and started to pummel them with a barrage of strong punches and kicks.

Nearby, Scarlett, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow did the same, effectively knocking the aliens down with their sharp skills.

"Hey!" Captain Chaos called over to Scarlett. "You handle yourself well! Are you an athlete?"

"You could say that." Scarlett called back. "But this is no time to look for a hook-up! Besides, I'm spoken for!" she added as she winked at Snake Eyes.

Captain Chaos groaned.

Lara and her team also dealt strong martial arts moves to some more infectees. Joanna also used a DrugSpy to knock several others out before they could get very far forward.

On the hill, the armed Cannonballers still tried to keep the waves of advancing aliens pinned down with gunfire, but were starting to run low om ammo.

"We could use a break." said Tommy.

The Wraith drove through the area in the Black Knight which was still on fire. The aliens scattered to avoid it. The Cannonballers repositioned and made their way further in.

"Will that do?" asked C.J..

"Someone order a hot rod?" asked Duke from the R.O.C.C.'s gun turret.

The Wraith steered towards a pool of water as Mad Max and Rory watched. The Wraith drove into the pool and doused the flames.

Girl we need some, girl we need some action.
If we're gonna make it like a true survivor.
We need some action.
If we wanna take our love away from here.

The fire had been put out on the Black Knight, bit the front end was a blackened, charred mess and the engine bay was smoking and the tires looked like they were about to melt.

"Well, that was a sign." said Rory.

"Yeah, it was a sign." grumbled Mad Max. "It was a sign we're out of the race."

Elizabeth saw what the Wraith had done in the Megere. She then saw a group of aliens running for some vehicles stored near a small hut a little bit away from the main base.

"I'll be right back!" she called to David as she flew out and took possession of a large truck at the storage space.

As the infectees reached the store, Elizabeth started up the truck's engine and revved it menacingly.

The alien troops were stunned when they saw that there was nobody in the cab.

Elizabeth 'drove' the truck forward and chased the aliens away from the store as they fled in terror from the driverless truck.

We need a living passion.
To believe in.
Burning hearts and a brand new feeling.
Action.
If we're gonna make it like a true survivor.

After they got a suitable lead on the truck, the aliens were suddenly swatted away by a red, green and blue blur respectively and landed unconscious about fifty feet away.

It had been the Powerpuff Girls who had done that as they had swooped in.

"Didn't think we'd let you guys have all the fun, did you?" Blossom winked.

A pick-up truck manned by two of the aliens which had been on patrol elsewhere suddenly joined the fray, shooting at the truck which Elizabeth had possessed.

As the alien in the passenger seat loaded a clip into his AK47, Meteor Man dropped from the sky and planted his hands firmly on the hood of the pick-up. This caused it to come to a halt and also caused both the driver and passenger to go straight through the windshield and land on the hood, unconscious.

Meteor Man shook his head in disapproval. "Guys, I've said it before and I'll say it again. You should ALWAYS wear your seat belts."

Elizabeth turned the rig around in a U-turn and saw a fuel tank near the other vehicles at the store she had possessed the rig at.

"Bingo!" she smirked as she drove at full-speed towards the fuel tank. Taking herself out of the truck at the last minute, she returned to the Megere in time to see the rig crash head-on into the fuel tank and cause a huge explosion which took out the fuel tank, the rig and the other two vehicles at the store.

The hero stands alone.
When all is said and done.
The enemies have fallen one by one.

Out of time.
Running in and out of time.
Hear the ticking on the countdown clocks tonight.

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends!" Cobra Commander yelled as the Cannonballers pressed even farther into the base.

"He likes Shakespeare?" asked Max O'Grady.

"No. He's just a massive ham." the Baroness replied as she rolled her eyes.

Girl we need some, girl we need some (action)
ACTION!

Jim let out a load of power chords on his guitar at this point and continued to play his guitar as the rest of the song played.

"Looks like it's time for the New Berlin Boys to act." said Corey.

"Let's do it." said Roger.

"What should we do?" asked Corey.

"We'll take out that radar dish." said Roger as he pointed to a curved dish on the side of the building.

"Got it." said Corey.

Corey climbed up onto the side of the building. He reached up to the dish while standing on a ledge.

"Let's see you track us..." he said before slipping off the ledge. He grabbed the mount for the dish and held on tight.

Action.
Action.

"What happened?" asked Roger.

"I don't know!" said Corey.

"Hang on, I'm coming!" said Roger. He ran over to the side of the building and started to climb up. He reached the mount for the dish and placed his feet on the ledge.

"Could you get me out of here?" asked Corey.

"Let me take care of the radar first." said Roger. He grabbed the wires to the dish with one hand and tried to pull them off. His feet slipped off the ledge and his other hand slipped off the dish mount. Finally, he let go of the wires and grabbed onto Corey's pants.

"Nice move." said Corey.

"Shut up." said Roger.

"For God's sakes, somebody help them!" yelled Katie.

The Spark drove into the base. "Help is on the way!" said Charlie. "Ready to rock? Then, here we go!"

He tapped the red button on the dashboard. The rear wheels rotated downward and the rear section extended backwards and split down the middle, becoming legs and feet. The passenger compartment rose and the front section folded down to become a chestplate. The roof split down the middle to reveal a pair of "arms" with laser cannons and missile launchers.

Action (action)
If we're gonna make it like a true survivor.
We need some action (action)
If we wanna take our love away from here.

"Now, where's the..." he started to ask before a laser blast glanced off the Spark's chestplate. He looked around for the source of the blast and found a gun emplacement. "Sentinels?" he said. "For shame! Droid, fire!"

His mask fired a red energy bolt and hit the gunner. The gunner looked around in confusion and slowly panicked.

"Would you mind helping us?" asked Charlie.

The gunner nodded and started to fire on the alien-possessed people. They took cover as Charlie made his way to Corey and Roger.

"Hey, guys!" said Charlie as he raised one of the Spark's arms towards them. "Grab on!"

Roger grabbed the arm and slid down. Corey grabbed the arm next and Charlie lowered them to the ground.

"What were you guys doing up there?" asked Charlie.

"We were trying to take out that radar dish." said Corey.

"Oh." said Charlie. He raised the Spark's arm and fired a blast from the laser cannon. The dish exploded and fell to the ground.

We need a living passion.
To believe in.
Burning hearts and a brand new feeling.
Action (action)
If we're gonna make it like a true survivor.

Inside the building, an alien watched television. Suddenly, the picture turned to "snow".

The Cannonballers had now entered the base and found it lightly guarded. After they made short work of the skeleton crew of troops left whom they caught by surprise, they made their way up to the room where the alien had been watching television.

"Hey, buddy." Jay asked as he tapped the alien on the shoulder.

The alien turned in surprise and was greeted by two simultaneous punches to the face by Jay and Silent Bob as he was knocked out.

True survivor, whoa oh.
True survivor, oh.
True survivor, true survivor.

-"True Survivor" by David Hasselhoff.

As the other Cannonballers made their way in and the song ended, a fanfare sounded and a larger screen crackled into life. A series of alien symbols flashed on it in a repeated sequence.

"Doctor, can you understand that?" asked Amy.

The Doctor looked at the sequence. "I think they're saying 'we give out'." he said. Everybody looked at him in worry. "Oh! Wait!" he quickly said. "Wrong dialect! They're saying 'we give up'!"

"So, the fight's over?" asked Captain Chaos.

"All signs point to it." the Doctor smirked.

"Hey, Doctor." Jordan asked as she and Veronica made their way in. Jordan handed him the device the two of them had grabbed from the spore pod store before blowing it up. "I think you should have a look at this. We know you speak a lot of extra-terrestrial languages."

The Doctor took a look at the device and smirked. "To quote one of my former regenerations: Fantastic!" he smirked. "This device can cure the people we just beat of their spore pod possession."

"Why would these guys just leave something like that lying around?" asked Amy.

"This species is notoriously arrogant." the Doctor replied. "They thought they would never lose."

"Sounds a bit like our friends over here." Cover Girl smirked as she nodded to the Cobra teams.

"You'll see who's laughing when the race is over." grumbled Zartan.

The Doctor looked at another side of the device and started to chuckle.

"What's so funny?" asked Liam.

"They put a warning not to let a Venusian Shanghorn handle this thing. They say 'if you can't trust them with a Perigosto stick, what can you trust them with?'."

Everybody looked at him blankly. He nervously cleared his throat. "You'd have to be a well-seasoned galactic traveller to get that joke, I admit."

The huge screen displaying the surrender message suddenly changed and Yucko appeared on it, honking his horn into the camera.

"Or you'd have to be a social retard with no life like you are, ya maxi-geek jerk off!" He sneered. "You are a neo-Maxi zoom Dweebie of the highest order! And that's putting it politely! All you friggin' pansy ass 'Space Wars' or 'Trek' or whatever fans can kiss my ass and drink my piss!"

"HEY! You watch it about 'Star Wars', ya stinky scuzzoid!" Jay snapped at him.

"Or you'll do what, ya Jersey jerk-off! I know about you and the crap you keep spoutin'! 'I'm-a hump this bitch, I'm-a hump that bitch'! The only bitch you'll see any action from is the tubby one in the overcoat you go everywhere with! SHE-MALES!" Yucko honked his horn and laughed obnoxiously as the screen cleared.

"I can not wait to find out where that dickwad is." growled Brodie as he took off the Chaos mask. "I'm gonna mess him up beyond repair."

"Get in line." said Jay grimly.

---

Back at the rest stop, Team NUMA were sitting at a table in the bar, enjoying a few drinks along with Denis Leary and Dane Cook. Pitt was looking a bit troubled.

"I hope that we did the right thing in letting those engineer guys go on without us." he said. "We would have joined in the fight but needed a breather after the action we had earlier."

"Don't worry. I'm sure they're in good hands with the Cannonballers who DID go." Dane replied.

"So, why do you guys call your car the Panama?" Denis asked.

"It was actually the Admiral who named it that to remind us not to do anything stupid with NUMA property." Giordino stated.

"Why's that?" Denis insisted.

"There was a bit of a mishap with the Admiral's boat in South America a while ago." Gunn explained. "Long story short: KABOOM."

"But it was done for a good reason." Pitt insisted.

"And that happened in Panama." Dane inquired.

"No. Nicaragua." Pitt confirmed.

Denis looked a bit confused.

"Then why do you call it a 'Panama'?" he asked.

"Because we thought we were in Panama." Giordino replied.

"Okay. That makes sense." Denis nodded unsurely.

Sitting at the bar itself, Jessie and James scornfully looked over at Team NUMA's table.

"What a bunch of losers!" Jessie sneered as she finished off her glass of iced Cherenkov Vodka.

"Another drink, ma'am?" the bartender asked.

"What am I? Twelve?" Jessie said in disdain as the bartender began to refill her glass.

"Take it easy with that stuff." Giovanni warned. "The three of you have performed sloppily enough so far without the influence of alcohol."

"We've got this far, boss." James whined in protest.

"The race isn't over yet." Giovanni countered. "And I meant your performance as Team Rocket operatives in general. God-knows-how many years you've been in my employ and you can't even catch ONE lousy Pikachu."

"Maybe our luck will change, sir." Meowth cut in.

"Whatever." Giovanni sneered as he rolled his eyes and dialled a number on his cellphone. "I'll just check up on things back at base."

After a few rings, Butch answered the phone at Team Rocket's HQ.

"Team Rocket Headquarters." he said as cheerily as he could.

"Butch, it's me. How are things going back there?" Giovanni asked.

"Things are in tip-top shape here, sir." Butch said. After a brief pause he hastily added "We didn't throw a party."

"What?" asked Giovanni as he raised an eyebrow in concern. "I didn't ask if you threw a party or not."

"Well, sir, I had a feeling you would ask that, so I was just anticipating what you were going to say." Butch continued nervously.

"Give me the phone, you moron!" Cassidy snapped as she took the phone from Butch. She then addressed Giovanni.

"You'll have to excuse Butch, sir." she explained. "We captured a wild Cubone a while ago and it hit Butch with a bonemerang attack. It's left him a bit confused."

"I hope it won't last." Giovanni replied suspiciously. "Have you five been looking after things at HQ?"

"Sir, you know us." Cassidy said in a placating tone. "We take our work very seriously. Unlike the twit trio you're travelling with."

"I know. Is my car alright?" Giovanni questioned. "If Sgt. Viper has taken it for a joyride again, I'm going to have his stripes for good this time!"

"No, sir. Nothing like that has happened." Cassidy assured. "We're giving the car a look over right now."

"Good. Make sure that the engine doesn't get flooded." Giovanni warned.

"Sure thing." Cassidy cheered just before Giovanni hung up.

Cassidy looked nervously over at Annie, Oakley and Domino who were lifting Giovanni's car out of the pool with the aid of a couple of Machokes. A torret of water poured out from under the engine bay.

"We are in BIG trouble." she thought to herself wearily.

Back at the bar, Jessie prepared to take a drink of her vodka.

Just as she got it to her mouth, a very inebriated Bam Margera slapped her and James on their backs, making Jessie spill her drink.

"HEY, YOU GUYS!" he yelled in a happy but slurred voice.

"What do YOU want, moron?" Jessie scoffed in annoyance.

"Didn't you hear? Our guys beat the aliens! It's on TV!" Bam replied.

"And why exactly are we supposed to care?" Jessie grumbled.

---

Brock addressed Duke, Flint, the Doctor and Laura on the main screen in his office as they updated him on the situation.

"So, the alien problem is dealt with?" Brock asked.

"That's affirmative, Mr. Yates." Flint reported. "The Doctor here was able to cure all the infected people with that device we found."

"But since we had to rough quite a few of them up, we've had to call G.I. Joe med-techs to come and take them to be treated for their injuries." Duke chipped in.

"I would have helped them out in that regard, but I'm not THAT kind of doctor unfortunately." the Doctor stated.

"I AM that kind of doctor, but my mask only works once every hour." Laura informed Brock.

"Well, that's okay." Brock nodded. "I know where there's a hospital near you that will help those people out. That guy who had a Xenomorph problem two years ago was given the help he needed there."

"It's not what I'm worried about, sir." Duke replied. "I'm worried that Lifeline is gonna give us all a thorough tongue-lashing about what we had to do to subdue these guys."

"I'm sure he'll not be too annoyed." Brock smiled. "Okay, then. All of you guys head back to the rest stop and we'll see about getting the show on the road again."

"Right." the Doctor and Laura chorused.

As the Cannonballers who had volunteered got ready to leave the alien base, Beavis and Butthead stood around looking annoyed.

"That sucked." Butthead groaned. "We never got to kick any ass."

"Yeh! Yeh! It sucked!" snapped Beavis.

"So, neither did I, but you don't hear me complaining." said Michael Knight as he walked over.

"Yeah, 'cause you pussed out!" chortled Beavis.

"No, I just took a wrong turn." Michael corrected him.

"Heh, heh! Yeah, right!" Beavis taunted him scornfully. "I bet you couldn't kick any ass if ya tried, ya old fartknocker!"

Michael glared at Beavis sternly.

"I bet you think you could kick my ass, don't you, junior?" he asked.

"Sure. HEH HEH!" Beavis laughed.

"Okay. Let's see you do it." said Michael as he left himself open for an attack.

Beavis took up a martial arts stance and made a series of weird 'kung fu' vocal effects as he prepared to attack. Suddenly, Michael raised his foot and kicked Beavis in the groin, and then followed it up with a series of strikes to the stomach, chest and face.

"Ow..." Beavis moaned as he fell to the ground after Michael finished his attack.

"I wasn't ready." Beavis protested.

"I know. That was my point." Michael smirked.

"Get up, dumb ass. Huh Huh." Butthead said as he helped Beavis to his feet. Corvax wandered over.

"Quit fooling around, you two. There's a race still to be run." he ordered as he snapped his fingers.

"What about those two girls who were working with DeMarco?" Michael asked.

"They're sending a message to their colleague right now." Corvax stated.

Upstairs in the communication room of the base, Sissy and Missy had managed to get in touch with Chrissy over an open channel which eventually picked up the CB frequency in the Hauler.

"Where the hell have you two been?" Chrissy was complaining. "It's been hours since I heard from you and I've had frig-all luck with finding any more Cannonballers!"

"We're both okay. We'll explain what happened later." Sissy replied. "But we're going to make a request of you. Cut the Cannonballers some slack for the rest of this leg of the race."

"WHAT?!" Chrissy yelled, so loudly that it caused feedback on Sissy and Missy's end.

"Look, they saved Sissy's hash and cut me a break, so we owe it to them." Missy chipped in.

"BULLSHIT!" Chrissy yelled back. "We don't owe these dirtbags the steam off our feces!"

"Look, C, we can rip into them again when we get to South America." Sissy replied in a reasoning tone. "The two of us are going to the meet-up place DeMarco specified for the end of Antarctica. And you, STAND DOWN and join us there. Are we cool?"

There was a brief pause before Chrissy replied in a very smug way.

"You know me, S."

"Yeah, I DO know you. Which is why I hope you listened to me." Sissy stated seriously.

"Like I said, you know me." Chrissy replied as she severed the communication link.

"I somehow don't feel as reassured as I might." Missy mumbled.

"I roger that." said Sissy.

---

Big Boss paced his office, angrily grinding up a snow globe in his metallic left hand.

"DeMarco is going to pay for his insolence through the nose!" he yelled. He then turned his attention to Turbo who stood before him.

"Any news yet on repairs to the Ram Raider?" he snapped.

"It's going to take some time, Big Boss. We'll probably need a stronger metal to use." Turbo protested.

There was a knock at the office door and Squeaky stuck his head in from outside.

"Someone here to see you, Big Boss." Squeaky announced. "He says it's of great importance."

"Show him in." Big Boss said warily.

Squeaky opened the door fully and let Mr. Chairman into the office.

Big Boss narrowed his eyes.

"I take it that DeMarco sent you to deliver some kind of ultimatum?" Big Boss asked.

"Not a bit of it." Mr. Chairman replied. "My employment with Mr. DeMarco is at an end as he dared to insult me and fire me."

"So, what do you want then?" Big Boss inquired.

"What you now want. To see DeMarco beaten, humiliated and put back in his place." Chairman smiled coldly.

"And how do I know I can trust you?" Big Boss shot back.

"Because I have all of ACME's mechanical genius at my disposal and I know that it will not let us down." Chairman confirmed. "Not least because you and I are not idiots like that stupid coyote who keeps using our stuff."

Big Boss thought for a minute and then smiled. "Alright. It's a deal." he replied as he stuck out his right hand and shook Chairman's own right hand.

"I have a little appetiser of the workmanship ACME has provided for us being shipped here as we speak." Chairman smirked. "And I have a bit of extra manpower to aid us as well."

Sitting in the waiting area outside the office, Golem concentrated as he tied his shoelaces.

"Over left, over right." he mumbled to himself. "If you've made bunny ears, you've done it right."

Mr. Chairman opened the door to Big Boss' office and called to Golem. "Hey, big guy! We're back in business!"

"YAY!" Golem cheered as he clapped his hands.

"Yes, it is good news indeed." Chairman chuckled.

"It's not that." Golem corrected as he stood up. Chairman looked confused.

"What is it, than?" he inquired of Golem.

Golem pointed to his now-tied shoes and smirked.

"I made a bunny rabbit!" Golem cheered.

"WILL YOU GET IN HERE?!" Chairman yelled impatiently.

"Okay." Golem huffed as he followed Chairman into Big Boss' office.

---

The Cannonballers had returned to the garage at the rest stop, where Mr. X was addressing them and Skeeter on a huge video screen.

"So, how did the repairs go?" asked X.

"Well, I was able to carry out 98% of the repairs with a 100% success rate, sir." Skeeter replied.

"Which ones couldn't you repair?" X asked.

"Well, there's one car that went to the battle still unaccounted for." Skeeter explained. "And the other one was..."

"Our vehicle!" interrupted Jafar angrily as he pointed to the remains of the Comrade. "You were supposed to be this great auto vigilante repairs guy and you couldn't fix the Comrade!"

"Hey, easy there!" Skeeter stated. "After what your boy there did to it, all the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't do much with the Comrade. Hell, I don't think even Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John could have done much to save it if they were mechanics."

"So, what does this mean?" asked Captain Hook.

Mr. X sighed and activated another screen which was behind him in the Four Dragons.

"It looks like this means only one thing." he announced as he called up an image of the Comrade with a picture of Skeletor next to it. He pressed a button and the letters 'DNF' appeared over the image in bright red.

"And that doesn't stand for 'dirty naked freaks', if you're wondering." X continued.

"You are KIDDING ME!" Skeletor snapped.

"I'm afraid not." X shook his head. "I'll arrange air transport for your team back here to the States. You are officially out of the running."

Mean let out a loud roar. But this time, Skeletor zapped him with an electrical blast from his fingers which Jafar followed up by firing a similar blast at Mean from his staff.

Mean twitched madly as he suffered the shock to his system and fell down unconscious.

Skeletor then addressed Mr. X. "See if you can arrange for a lifetime supply of elephant tranquilizers for our 'friend' here as well."

Dick Dastardly piped up. "At least there are two other teams from our society still in the race. If one of us wins, we ALL win!"

"Go screw." grumbled Oil Can Harry as he and Captain Hook moved Mean away.

"As for the rest of you: you may now continue the race." X happily confirmed. "So, get the lead out!"

The Cannonballers cheered. X then raised an eyebrow.

"I know some of you guys enjoyed the bar. So I hope you picked designated drivers." he cautioned.

"Yes, we did indeed." Gunn replied. "We're good to go."

"Then go." X cajoled.

"YEAH!" Vince cheered.

---

Back at NOOSE headquarters, Banner and Baxter had a television on in the motor pool and were watching a Cannonball update.

"It's now been confirmed, folks. The race is ready to continue." Ron Burgundy announced. "One team has unfortunately been eliminated due to a mishap with their vehicle, but everybody else is getting back on the road."

"There's not long to go now until the bridge to South America." Veronica added. "And with the Cannonballers now more than halfway through their worldwide jaunt, it's safe to say that excitement is at an all-time high here."

Banner angrily shut the TV off.

"Excitement isn't the word I'd use to describe my feelings right now." he snapped.

"Don't worry, Agent B." Baxter said reassuringly. "You know that we're ready now to play some real hardball with these dirtbags."

"Good." Banner nodded as he looked over the Crusader which was having final preparations done to it. He then addressed one of the CRAP agents working on it.

"Mullinski! Everything copacetic with the vehicle?" he asked.

"Affirmative, sir." Mullinski replied. "Just maybe make sure that Junior doesn't drive it again from now on."

Banner nodded grimly. Another CRAP operative approached Banner from behind.

"Sir!"

"Yes, Bellini, what is it?" asked Banner as he turned to face Bellini.

"I was able to get the information you required by hacking into the Cannonball website." Bellini stated.

"Were you discovered?" asked Baxter.

"No, sir. I made doubly sure. Anyway, the bridge to South America from the Antarctic has its terminus in Chile, near the town of Porvenir to be exact."

"Right. Then southern Chile's where we're sending our guys next. Make the necessary arrangements." Banner nodded.

"Yes, sir!" Bellini saluted.

---

Back in the rest station's garage, Shrek was about to drive the Licorne out when he and his team saw Mad Max standing around looking a bit miserable. Shrek pulled over to him and rolled down his window.

"What's the problem, Max?" he asked.

"In case you haven't noticed, both my partner and our car our nowhere to be seen." Max replied "I'm just waiting for Mr. X to add us to the DNF list as well."

"Hey, tough guy, I think you can relax now." Donkey chipped in as he looked towards the garage door as the sound of an engine and the honk of a horn could be heard.

Max turned around and saw the Black Knight driving in. The car had miraculously returned to showroom quality, with no indication of the damage it had suffered earlier visible. Max looked surprised, but then a smile formed on his lips as the Black Knight pulled up beside him.

The driver's side window was lowered to show Jake, in his normal form once again. He looked very tired and was having trouble keeping his eyes open.

"Hey, partner." Jake whispered.

"Are you okay?" asked Max.

"You ever heard of a country and western band called Asleep At The Wheel?" Jake asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, that name is the condition I'll soon be in, so you'd better take over." Jake hoarsely laughed as he slid over to the passenger seat and let Max get into the Black Knight behind the wheel.

"What happened?" asked Max.

"Come on. You know by now that I have powers and the car has powers. I was able to heal it." Jake replied.

"So, repairing damage takes a bit out of you, huh?" Max jokingly remarked.

"Maybe I should have let it blow up and reform again." Jake weakly chuckled again.

"You guys all good?" asked Fiona.

Max gave a thumbs-up.

"Excellente!" cheered Puss. "Now, shall we continue the race?"

"We shall!" replied Max as he fired up the Black Knight and peeled rubber out of the rest stop, with the Licorne racing to catch up.

---

The Usagi was racing along behind the Harbinger and the Fleetline which were running hard against each other. The Harbinger got a brief lead, only for the Fleetline to ease past it a few seconds later, lightly bumping the Harbinger as it did so.

Jordan looked concerned and addressed Team Rush over the CB.

"Hey, Lana. Are you guys okay?" she asked.

"We're fine, J." Lana, who was driving the Harbinger, replied as the tricked-out Nissan eased past the Fleetline again and took over the lead. "We're not holding you guys up, are we?"

"We're in no hurry right now." Jordan said. "What is the deal with this guy you're racing against? I know he's not an official entry."

"It's just a little side challenge." Trikz remarked as Lana handed the CB to him. "This guy is fun to race against, and he really steps up when help is needed."

"But he won't even tell you his name?" asked Veronica as she took over the CB from Jordan.

"Look, Ms. M, I know you're a detective. But there's no need to be paranoid." Trikz continued. "This guy may be a bit mysterious but he's a great guy.

"I can hear you guys, you know." the Fleetline Driver cut in mischeviously over the channel. "Cannonballers aren't the only ones with CBs, you know."

"We didn't know they were still THAT widely used." Ty answered him.

"They are, in the right circles." Fleetline Guy said happily as he still tried to get ahead of the Harbinger.

As Jordan continued to drive the Usagi, Veronica focused on the licence plate of the Fleetline.

It was a Colorado licence plate reading FLP8 005. Veronica looked at the plate long enough to have it memorized.

"Are you okay, Ronnie?" asked Jordan.

"For now, yes. But there's something familiar about that car and that licence plate." Veronica remarked. "But we can wait until we reach South America to check it out."

"Okay. Fine." shrugged Buffy in the back seat.

---

There were about fifty miles to go now until the bridge leading to South America. High up in the ranking were Herbie and Giselle. Mickey looked over to Minnie and gave her a nod. Minnie gave him a thumbs-up in return.

As the two sentient cars drove past a slope leading upwards, the Lightning, Nightmare, and Atlasbreaker came roaring down the slope and got on their tails.

"You idiots really thought you were home free after the aliens were taken care of?" DeMarco taunted over the radio from the driver's seat of the Lightning. "I'll teach you never to let the TRUE threat slip your minds!"

"Hold off on Total Anarchy for a minute!" Kegaleisa said from the Atlasbreaker. "Let us try an attack first."

"If you must." sighed DeMarco.

The Nightmare and the Atlasbreaker broke formation.

The Atlasbreaker got behind Herbie who sped up so quickly that he did another wheelie.

The Nightmare was on Giselle's back bumper.

"Oh no, you don't!" Minnie grunted as she sped on and swerved around several ice stalagmites.

"Oh yes, I do!" Lidell smirked as he matched each turn she made and kept on her tail.

Simon leaned out the passenger side window of the Nightmare and took aim with a shotgun.

"Keep it steady!" Simon ordered Lidell.

"No problem." said Lidell as he kept Giselle in his sights.

As he focused his view on the Lancia, his vision suddenly blurred and he saw a vision of Mango dancing again.

"Mango..." he murmured. "Mango."

As his muscles relaxed, he lost control of the Nightmare and drifted to the side of the canyon.

"What the hell..?!" Simon yelled as his shot went wild and hit a cliff side near them.

The Nightmare ended up getting buried by a minor snowfall and came to a halt.

"Mango..." Lidell still murmured before Goldilocks angrily nudged him.

"Say, man! What is with you?!" Goldilocks yelled.

Lidell snapped angrily back to reality.

"Get off my case!" Lidell yelled in frustration as he undid his seatbelt and began to dig through the snow very quickly.

The Atlasbreaker was still in pursuit of Herbie.

"We always squash bugs which bother us!" smirked Kitaneidas as the Ministers and Herbie headed for higher ground.

"Uh oh!" Donald remarked when he saw that they were heading for a gap between two ridges. Between the two were several small pinnacles of ice.

"No problem." said Mickey as Herbie kept going.

Herbie successfully leapt from each pinnacle to the next and cleared the gap, ending up on the adjoining ridge without trouble.

Herbie honked triumphantly and drove on.

The Ministers got ready to make the jump themselves.

"You think we'll make it?" asked Yogostein.

"We should." Kegaleisa confirmed.

Before they could make the jump, there was a loud 'twang' noise and two large spears penetrated the engine compartment of the Atlasbreaker.

A few seconds later, a couple more large spears took out their tires.

Kegaleisa angrily started to emit steam from the top of her head. Kitaneidas quickly turned her head valve for her so she could calm down.

Yogostein looked to see where the attack had come from.

About a hundred feet away sat a strange vehicle manned by Eddie Riggs, the Killmaster, and Lita Halford. It was an Ironheade vehicle known as a Headsplitter, which the heavy metal army used to take out enemy vehicles.

Eddie pumped his fist in triumph.

"ROCK AND RULE!" he yelled.

"Couldn't have said it better myself." smirked the Killmaster as he popped the top off a bottle of Pisswasser.

"Okay, guys. Let's go." Lita said as she closed the top of the Headsplitter and they drove off.

Herbie and Giselle had joined up again and were now running side by side again.

The Lightning had now got behind them as DeMarco slipped on the Total Anarchy mask.

"Now you shall taste my wrath!" he yelled angrily as his eyes glowed red.

A minor earthquake started and the ground began to crack. The Disney teams kept ahead of the cracks as they formed.

DeMarco extended his right arm out of the window and caused large chunks of ice to fall down from the skies above.

Herbie and Giselle managed to avoid them, but only by the skin of their teeth.

DeMarco laughed to himself in delight.

Suddenly, a large customised red GM Futurliner tour bus pulled out in front of him and opened up a panel on its side.

From out of the panel, several circular blades were shot towards the Lightning and ripped into the engine compartment, tearing the engine to pieces.

The Lightning came to a halt. As it did, a jet of flame was shot at it as well.

DeMarco turned pale and jumped out of the Lightning.

He ran for cover just as the Lightning exploded. The bus honked its air horn and drove off.

Behind the wheel was Mangus.

He gave a thumbs-up to a muscular young man with light brown hair wearing a pair of red-tinted goggles, a black leather vest and matching pants. This was Jack, a mechanically-skilled member of the Headbanger section of the Ironheade army.

The vehicle they were riding in was Ironheade's tour bus, which Eddie and Mangus had built for the metal army to go on the road.

"Great job arming the bus, kid!" Mangus smirked.

"Well, Mr. Riggs can't have all the glory." Jack replied.

Mangus picked up his walkie-talkie and spoke into it.

"Well done to you too, Rima. Great work." he said.

On top of a ridge a little behind them sat a huge, hairy animal with metal-studded bangles on each of its four legs: a Fire Beast from the Land of Metal.

Sitting astride it was a blonde-haired Amazonian woman wearing a very skimpy black leather leotard despite the weather and with white and black warpaint on her face and a dark purple fur hat on her head.

It was Rima, another ally of Ironheade and leader of the Zaulia tribe who protected the Fire Beasts.

They had caused the Lightning's demise.

"It was our pleasure." Rima replied through her walkie-talkie as she stroked her Fire Beast affectionately.

"Eddie, you're free and clear." Mangus announced to Eddie over the channel.

"Understood." Eddie replied from the Headsplitter.

"Hey, Ironheade." Goofy announced over the waves. "Thanks for the help, you guys."

"No probs." the Killmaster replied.

"We'll see you in South America." Lita added. "There'll be more of us there with the more clement weather."

"We look forward to it." chirped Daisy as the Disney teams drove on. "But how do you guys know the race route?"

"Duh! From the website, of course." Eddie replied. "Plus it doesn't vary too much."

"Thanks again, guys." Mickey added gratefully as they drove on.

---

The Vulcano overtook the Cowboy and the Ignition and gained a good lead on both of them.

"Skeeter did a great job on her." Nina chuckled as she drove. "I just hope the competition doesn't make it too easy for us. Wouldn't be as much fun then."

"That is true." Lara agreed. "We all keep up the good work behind the wheel and I think we've got a great chance of being the winners again this year."

The team didn't notice that behind the Vulcano, hovering close to its back bumper was a small, saucer-shaped military drone equipped with a camera on top of it. It was a U.S. Army Cypher drone. As it kept pace with them, it managed to snap a picture of the Vulcano's licence plate.

The team failed to notice this at all and the Cypher flew off into the air as it transmitted its data back to its operator.

Somewhere else...

Dr. Badvibes sat at a computer terminal and smirked as the image of the Vulcano's plate came up on his screen.

"Bingo." he whispered to himself happily.

---

As the day started to turn dark again, the Darkness had pulled over near an abandoned shack so that Rob could relieve himself. As he did his business, Stone Cold and Nemesis slept in the back seat of the Darkness. As Rob finished urinating and zipped his pants up, he went to head back to the Darkness.

Suddenly, he was blinded by a pair of headlights and heard a mighty engine roar. As his vision cleared, he saw the Tygrus had snuck up on him and was now bearing down on him. Alice Foyt gunned the engine and Janice laughed evilly in the passenger seat.

"You have nowhere to go now, you metalhead moron!" Janice yelled as Alice activated the battering ram and bore slowly down on Rob.

Rob backed up towards the door of the old shack as the Tygrus inched forward slowly. He picked up an old plank of wood with a few nails in it to defend himself.

"Won't do you any good, loser!" laughed Alice as she moved forward even more.

Just when it looked like it was all over for Rob, a tentacle wrapped around his mid-section and pulled him into the driver's seat of the Darkness.

The noise had awoken Nemesis and he had just saved Rob's hash.

"Thanks, buddy." Rob said as he gave Nemesis a thumbs-up.

As Alice tried to back the Tygrus up, Rob started up the Darkness and peeled rubber away from the shack.

Alice finally got the Tygrus turned around and took off after them.

As Rob drove for all he was worth, the Tygrus caught up with the Darkness and drove alongside them.

"Don't let them make it to the bridge! It's less than twenty miles from here!" Janice warned her mother.

"Ain't gonna happen!" Alice snarled as she clenched her teeth.

She activated a shot of nitrous and they overtook the Darkness by about two hundred feet.

"What are they doing?" wondered Rob.

Alice quickly hung a 180 and drove towards the Darkness on a chicken run. She turned the Tygrus' headlights on full blast and briefly blinded Rob.

Rob still swerved and narrowly avoided a collision.

The Tygrus was now behind them and now did a reverse 180 and came after the Darkness again.

Once again, the Foyts got ahead of the Darkness thanks to application of their nitrous system and once again turned around and drove towards the Darkness on a collision course.

"Assholes!" sneered Janice mockingly.

Rob quickly turned the wheel and once again avoided the collision.

Now it was his turn to put his foot down and use his nitrous. As the Darkness gained ground on the Tygrus, Alice swerved around to go after them again. This time, however, the silver Jaguar skidded on the icy ground a bit. As Alice fought to bring the car under control, the engine stalled out.

"Shit!" she groaned.

Up ahead, Stone Cold had stated to stir in the back seat of the Darkness because of all the action.

"What the Sam Hill is goin' on?" he yawned as he shook his head to clear it.

"Trouble, of course." Rob confirmed. "But I have an idea."

He turned the Darkness around on a stretch of road on a small ridge. He killed the engine and left the headlights of the Darkness on.

"Everybody out! And take cover!" Rob ordered.

"Hell yeah!" Stone Cold complied.

"SSSSSTARSSSSS!" Nemesis agreed as they all took cover behind a snowbank.

The Tygrus was now in action again and heading towards the now static Darkness.

"Looks like they finally got a set of stones!" Alice sneered.

"Let's give it to 'em!" Janice cheered as they drove towards the parked Darkness on a chicken run. They were totally unaware that the '87 Buick was not moving and that nobody was in it.

The Foyts laughed as they got closer. As they got closer and their quarry didn't seem to be backing down, Janice looked worried all of a sudden.

"What the hell...?" Alice wondered to herself.

As the Tygrus was about fifty feet away from the Darkness and gaining, the Foyts finally saw that the Buick was empty and parked.

"SHIT!" yelled Alice and Janice in unison as Alice swerved and lost control.

The Tygrus went flying off the edge of the ridge and rolled over several times.

"YEAH!" Rob and Stone Cold yelled as the Tygrus came to a rest after about three rolls.

The Foyts groaned, undid their seat belts, and crawled out of the Tygrus. They had been knocked around but were generally alright.

As they moved away from the Tygrus, Nemesis extended another tentacle and picked the wrecked Tygrus up with it.

"Sorry, ladies!" Rob mockingly called to the Foyts.

Using his tentacle, Nemesis crushed the Tygrus like it was an empty beer can and then tossed it away.

"Sons of bitches!" Janice shrieked.

The Foyts then heard a horn and turned to see Horace driving towards them with both his doors open.

The Foyts ran and got into Horace.

Just before she fully got into the driver's seat, Alice glared at Team Stone Cold.

"This is just a reprieve, you scumbags!" she snapped. "We'll be back and we'll send each and every one of you to the scrapyard for good!"

"Famous last words!" Stone Cold yelled back as he laughed.

"Okay. Let's hit the road." Rob nodded as he bumped fists with Stone Cold and shook Nemesis' tentacle.

---

The communication link in the Infinito began to ring. The Justice League team looked a bit confused when they heard it.

"Answer." Batman commanded and the link opened.

"Batman." came J'onn Jonzz's voice.

"J,onn." Batman replied in surprise. "I'd almost forgotten that you were still back at Race Central."

"That's hardly surprising considering how little action I've seen recently." J'onn joked. "But I have something very important to discuss with you."

"Would it have anything to do with the prize money being stolen?" Wonder Woman asked. "We saw that report earlier and Ron Burgundy needs to work harder on being subtle."

"Nothing ever gets past you, I suppose." J'onn replied. "Anyway, Me and Barbara are conducting an investigation along with Blue Falcon and Dynomutt and she just wanted to check with you if it's okay to use her remote link to the Bat Computer to aid us."

"Knowing Barbara, she's already gone ahead and started to use it, right?" asked Batman as he raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, but we're using our detective skills as well. She just wanted to use the computer to try and get an I.D. on a worker at the Four Dragons who came across as rather suspicious." J'onn continued.

"In that case, tell her it's alright if she uses the remote link." Batman answered. "Are you working for the officials with this investigation?"

"Actually, we're a bit unofficial." J'onn nervously stated. "They've hired two other detectives for the official hunt for the thieves."

"And you don't think they can do it?" asked the Flash.

"One of them is more than a little, shall we say, dorky. And he claims to be a psychic." J'onn replied. "That doesn't fill me with confidence."

Batman sighed. "Okay. But try not to get in each other's way too much." he said wearily.

"Thank you." replied J'onn as he signed off.

Race Central...

As J'onn hung up, he joined Batgirl, Blue Falcon and Dynomutt who were gathered around Batgirl's laptop.

Batgirl had called up an image that the security cameras had earlier caught of 'Gillis', the air-conditiong technician.

"Are you sure this is a good place to start?" asked Dynomutt.

"Trust me. I know it's no coincidence that she was snooping around the vents not long before the robbery." Batgirl stated.

"And we know that the vents run through the vault." added B.F.

Batgirl enhanced an full-face image of 'Gillis' and started to run a Facial Recognition Software against the Bat Computer's mug shot database.

"This will probably take some time. So I hope you've brought coffee." Batgirl joked.

"I think we have time as those other two 'great sleuths' haven't even hit the road yet." J'onn joked.

"Okay, then." smiled Dynomutt.

---

Team Toretto were having a race to the bridge with Team Viper. Vince was driving for his team and was having the time of his life. He was feeling elated at actually having scored a victory by beating Drakken at the video game back at the rest stop.

"How ya like this, blondie?" he laughed as he grinned at Brian who was sitting next to him. "Bet ya didn't think I could drive like this, huh?"

"You've impressed me, Vince." Brian chuckled.

Westlake was driving for her team and pushed the Asp into overdrive to try and get a lead on Dom's group.

Both cars then heard a loud air horn and then saw the Hauler coming up on them fast.

Chrissy laughed to herself.

"Two for the price of one!" she smirked. "I'll enjoy this."

"I think that's the third one of those girls that work for DeMarco." Joe said over the radio.

"No shit." Dom replied. "You think she didn't get the other two's message to stand down?"

"Possibly. Or maybe she just didn't give a rat's ass when she got it." Cole chipped in.

"Hang on! I've got an idea." Westlake interposed. "And Mr. Toretto, considering your crew's past history, I think you'll enjoy it. Hang on, you guys!"

Westlake swerved and got in front of the Hauler and managed to stay ahead of it by a few feet as Chrissy bore down on them.

Westlake pressed one of the Asp's dashboard controls and opened a hatch on the rear of the car.

A targeting reticle showed up on the Asp's dash monitor and she aimed for the windshield on the passenger side of the Hauler.

"NOW!" Westlake yelled as she hit the 'fire' switch. The Asp's harpoon and tow cable, another weapon carried by the Defender which Wilkes and Frankie had imported to the Asp, shot upwards at an angle and penetrated the windshield on the Hauler's right-hand side and pulled the glass out of the frame.

"COPYCATS!" Chrissy angrily roared. "You heard about what we did back in L.A.!"

"Leave it to me." Brian remarked as Team Viper overhauled them and the Rumor got in front of the Hauler.

Brian undid his seatbelt and lowered his window as Vince kept driving.

"Pardon me if I don't join you." Vince grumbled, remembering a botched hijacking in California several years ago when Brian saved his life.

"No problem, man." Brian said as he hooked a tranq gun onto his belt.

Chrissy began to gain ground on the Rumor as Brian clambered out and climbed onto the roof of the car.

"Keep it steady, V." Dom cautioned.

Brian was in the right position to jump as Chrissy tried to ram the rear-end of the Skyline.

"GO!" Vince yelled to Brian.

Brian jumped into the air and managed to grab the end of the empty window frame which the Asp's harpoon had shot out. Chrissy grunted and swerved the Hauler wildly to try and shake him off. But Brian held on for dear life and finally managed to hook both hands on the window frame and pull himself into the cab.

Chrissy, keeping one hand on the wheel, looked for a weapon and reached to pick up a baseball bat which was on the floor under the dashboard.

She swung it at Brian with her free hand, but he managed to dodge it as it connected with the passenger seat.

Brian aimed his tranq gun at Chrissy's right bicep and fired the tranq dart into it.

Chrissy groaned and took a few more swings with the baseball bat which failed to connnect due to her groggy state. Eventually, she slipped into unconsciousness and fell limply into the footwell.

Brian pulled her other arm off the steering wheel and applied the Hauler's brakes.

The truck came to a stop as the Rumor pulled up alongside it.

"YEAH!" cheered Vince and Dom as they fist-bumped each other.

"Looks like nobody's gonna beat us now!" Vince beamed.

"Ahem." Westlake cleared her throat as the Asp had turned around and was now facing the Hauler.

"Sorry." Dom apologised. "Vince is a bit high on enthusiasm at the moment."

"Better than having him bitching all the time." Brian smirked.

"Now, just to make sure we'll be left alone until we reach the bridge." said Joe as he armed the Asp's static pulse and fired it at the Hauler to short out its operating system.

"Will the girl be okay?" asked Cole. "I know she was trying to kill us, but even so."

"The bad guys will regroup. They always do." Dom replied.

"But all the Cannonballers will be long gone when they do." nodded Vince.

"They're really making us run a gauntlet here." Joe grimly stated.

"Well, hopefully it's all over now." Westlake assured him. "There's now less than ten miles to go. I doubt they could pull anything out of their bag of tricks this late in the continent."

"What a hope." joked Brian, half-jokingly.

---

"The bridge isn't far now." announced Dane.

"Great, we can put away the parkas soon then." said Denis.

"Hey, I know the brick joke fell flat a little." said Dane.

"A little?" asked Denis.

"I was hoping to make up for it with another joke." said Dane.

"Fine." said Denis.

"Alright." said Dane. "There's this girl named Mary and she has to take a flight with her dog. When they get to the airport, they discover that the airline doesn't have any space in the hold for a dog kennel. However, they decide to let her bring the dog into the cabin with her although it violates the rules."

Denis glanced at him for a second.

"After they take off, the man sitting next to Mary lights up a cigar." said Dane. "Mary tells him 'Hey, you're not supposed to have that cigar in here.' He tells her 'So? You're not supposed to have that dog in here.' She responds 'I'm serious. You need to put that out.' He tells her 'How about this? I'll throw my cigar out of the window if you throw your dog out of the window.' Mary was taken aback by the man's request, but decided to honor it. He looked to her dog and said 'Sorry, honey. Just like we planned.' Then, she opened the window and tossed the dog out. Everyone else was shocked that she had done that, even the man. But he was forced to comply to the deal."

Denis gave him another curious look.

"So, the man tossed his cigar out of the window." said Dane. "After that, Mary revealed that she had been holding the dog's leash the whole time. She pulled on the leash until her dog was back to the window, then reached out and picked him up. But guess what was in the dog's mouth?"

"The cigar." said Denis.

"No." said Dane. "It was the brick!"

Denis looked confused for a second, then laughed.

---

The Cannonballers had now all reached the bridge to South America. But there was a huge problem.

Blocking the way onto the bridge were about one hundred Slabs and just as many Ugatz, all of whom were armed with powerful laser rifles.

"I should have known it wouldn't have been easy to shake the bad guys." Mack groaned in the Red Fury.

"Do you think we could morph and deal with them?" Casey asked Nick.

"I think that two hundred may be too many, even for us." Nick replied.

In the Firestorm, Amy turned to the Doctor.

"We know they're androids. Is there any way we can knock them out?" she asked him.

"Only with a high-radiation energy blast. Which I don't have in my bag of tricks right now." the Doctor stated grimly.

"I bet we can get past them using the Penetrator mask." Homer chipped in from the Kowalski.

"And leave everybody else to face the music?!" Marge spluttered in disgust. "Don't be such a jerk, Homer!"

"Sorry." Homer grumbled.

As the alien androids raised their rifles to fire, the sky above them darkened suddenly. Within a few seconds, a fleet of alien spacecraft appeared above them.

"These guys again?" Hyde groaned in the Reckless. "This day gets better and better!"

The alien ships opened up hatches on their front ends and fired out some bright green energy beams. They were not aimed at the Cannonballers, however. They were aimed at the Slabs and Ugatz.

The androids jerked violently and fell to the ground, deactivated. A few seconds later, a series of red beams were fired at the inactive androids from the alien ships. These were gravity waves which crushed the Slabs and Ugatz into the ground, completely flat. Within seconds, the outer space visitors had handled the Cannonballers' android problem and the path to the bridge was free and clear.

"Is anybody else confused by what just happened there?" asked Rory in astonishment.

The main alien ship hovered over the Cannonballers as a strange fanfare sounded and a communication device was activated. The message was relayed to Race Central as well.

"You have nothing to fear, Cannonballers." the alien leader announced. "In our altercation a few hours ago, you proved yourselves worthy adversaries who battled with honour and concern for your fellow humans even though they were infected by our spores. We always show deference to those who defeat us in battle against extreme odds and who show honour."

At Race Central, J.J. tuned into the frequency the aliens were using and addressed them.

"I take it this means that you are going to let our racers go?" he asked.

"That is correct, Mr. McClure." the alien leader replied. "That is why we helped clear the way to the next stage of your competition for them just there. We wish each and every team the best of luck. We just have a couple of requests."

"Okay." J.J. said uncertainly.

"First of all, is the one named Moby there?" the alien leader asked.

"Right here." Moby said as he stood at his mixing desk.

"See if you can keep up with this." the alien leader announced as a series of musical tones were sounded.

Moby recreated the tones on his mixing desk as the main alien ship generated a series of colours along its hull. Moby eventually started to preempt the tones the ship was making and got ahead of it in the sequence.

"Are you kidding me?" asked Pitt in disbelief. "The 'Close Encounters' approach works?"

Moby managed to get to the end of the musical sequence before the aliens did.

"How was that?" Moby asked smugly.

"You did brilliantly." the alien leader congratulated him. "The other request is to speak to the one named Randy Dukes."

Randy and Greg walked over to be in range of the camera.

"Yes, sir. What is it you want of me?" Randy asked uncertainly.

"Just let Greg know that he now owes me 500 zuleks now that Mr. Moby proved he could beat me in that music duel."

Greg let out an angry-sounding high-pitched screech as he looked disappointed.

"So..that means..." J.J. began.

"For the last time, GREG IS NOT AN ALIEN!" Randy angrily yelled as he grabbed Greg by the shoulders and marched him away.

"We'd also like to make a wager on the traveler in time known as the Doctor." the alien leader added. "We would like to bet one million of your American dollars that he will be in the top ten at the end of the race."

"Done and done!" Dante cheered as he added the data on his computer. "And your name, sir?"

"Just call me Krankor. No relation." the leader said mischievously as he let out a very strange-sounding laugh.

"Sounds like a Buick not turning over." grumbled Randal.

"Now, we shall go. For now, at least." the alien leader announced. "Tell the team in the Acura that we're not done with them yet."

"Bollocks." moaned Liam.

"Is that all?" asked J.J.

"Just one last thing. We sense that there is someone here who doesn't belong here. We shall take them with us and return them to their home."

The main ship hovered over the Panama and a beam of light shone on it.

Babbage, Sorensen and Lu began to glow as well and began to fade from sight.

"Looks like this is goodbye, hmmm?" Babbage said to Pitt's team.

"Have a safe journey. Thanks for your help." Giordino smiled.

The three engineers faded away completely and the alien ships began to depart.

"Good luck, Cannonballers." the alien leader repeated as the fleet began to raise up and jump into hyperspace.

"Kewl!" Lu's voice came from inside the main ship as it departed.

"So, I guess it's okay to proceed now, right?" asked Gunn in an unsure way.

"Yeah, guys, I think we can trust those guys." J.J. stated over the channel. "So get the lead out and go."

"Well, that was an interesting turn of events." Ron announced as the camera cut to the announcers.

"Hopefully, that's the end of it." Lazlow sighed.

"Wanna bet?" asked Misty.

"That's a bit cynical." Lazlow replied.

"It's a bit realistic. One team has now been knocked out of the race." Veronica chipped in.

"Well, that was their own fault." Lazlow protested. "They should have known better than to recruit a killer cyborg with anger management problems to the team."

"Well, we will hope that our remaining contestants will be victorious." Ron smirked. "And now, to celebrate the exit from Antarctica, here are Franz Ferdinand with a little more help from Moby."

"One, two, three, four!" yelled Alex as the band started to play.

Moby flipped a few switches on his mixing board and a heavy drum beat played with the guitar.

Ah-ah, ah!
Ah-ah, ah!

We come from the land of the ice and snow.
From the midnight sun, where the hot springs flow.
The hammer of the gods.
We'll drive our ships to new lands.
To fight the horde, and sing and cry.
Valhalla, I am coming!

On we sweep with threshing oar.
Our only goal will be the western shore.

Ah-ah, ah!
Ah-ah, ah!

Alex continued on his guitar. Moby adjusted the settings on his mixing board while squatting on it.

We come from the land of the ice and snow.
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow.
How soft your fields so green.
Can whisper tales of gore.
Of how we calmed the tides of war.
We are your overlords.

On we sweep with threshing oar.
Our only goal will be the western shore.

So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins.
For peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing.

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh.
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh.
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh.
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh.
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh.

-"Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin.

The Cannonballers drove across the bridge as they exited Antarctica.

Bringing up the rear was the Bonfire, being driven by Corey.

"Another wonderful moment for the New Berlin Boys." he said sarcastically.

"Please stop calling us that." said Roger.

"All this talk of our embarrassment is getting annoying." said Katie. "Maybe you should turn on the radio to get our minds off what happened."

"Is that a good idea?" asked Tuesday. "Every time someone turns on a radio at the end of the continent, the local station plays a song reminding them of something bad that happened."

"Still wouldn't hurt to try." said Corey as he turned on the radio. They heard only static.

"Oh, that's right!" said Roger. "There's no radio stations in Antarctica."

"Well, now what?" asked Katie.

"There's always 'Weird Al'." said Corey as he switched over to the CD player.

Run for your life!
Slime creatures from outer space!
Slime creatures from outer space!
They're not very nice to the human race!

Corey quickly turned off the CD player.

DeMarco and his troops were flying back to the United States in a camouflage-coloured twin-rotor Boeing Vertol CH-46 Sea Knight helicopter called the Cargobob. Luther was at the controls with DeMarco sitting beside him, having a video conference with Dr. Badvibes.

"It's intolerable!" snapped DeMarco. "We have to target the Cannonballers' protectors as well as the Cannonballers themselves to make sure that they stop making fools of us!"

"I also have a suggestion for a way we can lower the morale of the Cannonballers, sir." Badvibes replied. "The plan is to target Lara Croft's team. They are long overdue for a fall from grace since they think they're immune to any consequences."

"True." DeMarco agreed. "They think that by following the example of those dratted bimbos, Jill Rivers and Marcie Thatcher, they can get away with anything. I think there are quite a few people who would like to see them knocked off their pedestal. So, what do you have in mind?".

"To frame them and thus have every cop in the race from now on go after them." Badvibes smirked. "I was able to take a record of their licence plate. And I remember you said that there is a former acquaintance of yours in Belize who owns a Lamborghini. I think that we should send Sissy and her team to persuade him to let us borrow it and then when they have it, they can apply a copy of Croft's licence plate to it and then proceed to blacken the names of her and her team. I know from those girls' criminal recordss that they occasionally have similar wardrobe taste to Croft's team."

DeMarco smiled widely. "Sounds like a great idea. I think it will certainly turn our fortunes around. And prove that no Cannonballer will be spared."

Sissy stuck her head into the cockpit. She had heard the end of the conversation. "I like it." she smirked.

DeMarco looked a bit annoyed that she had been eavesdropping, but let it pass.

"So, is there anywhere we need to go before South America?" DeMarco asked her.

"Just stop off in L.A. briefly so we can get suited up." Sissy replied.

"Excellent." DeMarco chortled.

---

Empire City...

Mr. Chairman lead Big Boss to the garage area of Big Boss' skyscraper where an ACME truck had just dropped off a car covered in a white tarp.

"There will be more vehicles to come later, but I just want to see what you think of this first one." Chairman announced as he whisked the tarp off the car.

The vehicle was a matte black '68 Dodge Charger with a Ram-Air supercharger sticking through the hood.

It also had heavy custom bullbars on the front grille, an external rollbar with lights attached to the top of it on the roof, louvers on the rear window, side exit exhausts, decreased ground clearance and protective armor plates covering the windows and windshield. The windshield had an opening in the armour so the driver could see where they were going and slits in the armour on the side windows so some vision was possible as well.

Big Boss let out a whistle.

"There's also a rollcage inside as well as a nitrous oxide system." Chairmam explained.

"What kind of metal is the armour made of?" Big Boss asked.

"Vibranium straight from Wakanda in Africa thanks to a deal ACME had with a Mr. Ulysses Klaue." Chairman smirked. "It's even tougher than adamantium."

Mr. Chairman gestured to the front bullbars on the vehicle. "By all means, strike the surface. With your iron hand."

"Okay." shrugged Big Boss as he powerfully karate-chopped the bullbars with his iron left hand.

When he lifted his hand away, there had been no damage to the car. There was a slight dent in Big Boss' hand, but he looked very happy.

"Now, that is what I call an armoured assualt vehicle." he smiled.

"I'm gratified that you appreciate it." Chairman laughed.

"You bet I do." Big Boss chuckled. "Now, we are defintely going into business together. And defintely going to give the Cannonballers and DeMarco a major ass-kicking."

Both men laughed evilly as they shook hands again.

TO BE CONTINUED...

AN: The alcoholic beverages mentioned in this chapter are featured in the "Grand Theft Auto" games and are the property of Rockstar Games and Take-Two Interactive.

Thank you for reading and Happy Halloween.