Nathan paused outside the closed door of the second room in Bill's apartment. He had been shocked to find out that his brother-in-law had showed up in town on the day Elizabeth and himself were starting the process of adopting each other's children. He had been worried about Dylan's reappearance when Bill said an attempt to reach Dylan had to be made when he had started the process of adopting Ally. Part of him had hoped that his lack of contact with his brother-in-law would mean that the news would never reach the man.
Apparently it had.
Bill's assurance that Dylan's arrival could do nothing to change his adoption of Ally did little to reassure Nathan. Maybe it was that cynicism in him that Elizabeth had contributed to his job after Opal had gotten hurt when Ally had pranked her classmates. He could not deny that she had been right. He had tended to see the worst in people and the situations. Yes, the Mounties may have contributed to it but Nathan knew his childhood had not helped. It was knowing Elizabeth that had started teaching him to see the good as well.
Nathan was starting to wish he had taken Elizabeth up on her offer to come with him to see Dylan.
Knowing that putting it off was going to accomplish nothing, Nathan knocked on the door. It wasn't long before it was opened and he was face to face with his brother-in-law. Several inches taller than Dylan, his brother-in-law had once accused him of being intimidating. Nathan stood with perfect posture now, intending to use that to his advantage now.
"Nathan!" Dylan said, taking a couple of steps back from the door. Though here to see him, Nathan surmised that Dylan had not expected him to seek him out immediately. "Judge Avery did tell you I am not here to cause trouble, right?"
Nathan closed the distance between him and Dylan, not trying to disguise the fact that he was checking for the smell of alcohol on the man.
"I haven't taken a drink in a little over a year, now," Dylan told his brother-in-law? "You can check my bag and coat for alcohol if you would like," he added motioning to the chair in front of the small desk where his bag and coat sat.
Nathan shook his head. There was not the faintest trace of alcohol on his brother-in-law. As Elizabeth had shown him with his father, even a little trust could go along way with someone trying to reform.
Nathan motioned to the two armchairs that Bill had in front of the apartments stove that warmed the living area of the apartment. "Let's sit down and you can tell me why you think you have changed enough to allow me to let you see Ally."
Dylan nodded, and walked past Nathan and to one of the indicated chairs. Nathan took the other and sat quietly waiting for Dylan to begin.
"Well, let me start with you and your friend . . . Gabriel was it?"
Nathan nodded.
"Well, the two of you were right to protect Ally from me when I tried to take her from you back then. Alcohol still had its hold on me then. I was not worthy to be a father any more than I was worthy to be a husband to Colleen. I did love, Colleen though Nathan. I hope you can believe that. Perhaps if she hadn't gotten ill, her love and belief would have been enough for me to eventually get sober and be the man she deserved. However, when I lost Colleen, I felt like I was drowning. I didn't see what the point was in trying to stay sober without her."
"You had a daughter, Dylan," Nathan said. "Ally should have been enough."
"You are right. She should have been. I wasn't fit to be a father back then though. I am sure not fit to try to claim to be a father to Ally now. You were there when it mattered. You are Ally's father, Nathan. I recognize that. I just want a chance to meet her. To see what kind of girl you have raised her into and to tell her I am sorry for abandoning her for the alcohol."
Nathan's words to Dylan so many years ago came back to him. He had told Dylan then that if he wanted to see Ally and was sober, then he would allow it. He was definitely sober at this moment.
"What has changed, Dylan?" Nathan asked.
Dylan took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then he began his story.
"When I left you the last time, I was angry and scared. Angry that I had been tricked into giving up my claim to my daughter and scared that your friend might still send the law on me for punching him. Not one of my finer moments."
"No, it wasn't," Nathan agreed.
"The plan was to put as much distance between me and the two of you as I could. I headed east, constantly looking over my shoulder. I had some odd jobs here and there but I was drinking. The drinking always caught up to me. So I kept moving. Sometimes, I would sober up a bit to let the shame of my actions sink in but that caused me to seek out the nearest saloon."
"I stayed east for a while, but there was too much red for my liking. I decided to head to less populated country and so I headed North. Up there, my sober moments were more frequent, mostly because it was not as easy to get alcohol. Soon as I could though, I was hiding from my troubles in a bottle. I found a little settlement where the local trader who brought goods in for the people of the area needed someone to help get those goods in and out. I happened to be in a sober spell when he hired me. I would sometimes get a hold of alcohol on my travels but I was usually sober enough for the trader not to fire me when we interacted."
Dylan was looking down at the ground as he spoke and Nathan remained quiet, listening to the story without interruption. He got the sense that Dylan needed to get this out as quickly as he could.
"Two winters ago, one of the local trappers got his leg caught in his own trap at the beginning of the season. He was dead before anyone found him. He left behind a widow and a four year old daughter. I was reminded that Ally was that age when she lost her mother. Everyone thought his widow would pack up and leave the remote area. Things were always tight financially at the start of a trapping season. People were wondering how she would make the trip. Some of the single trappers talked about marrying her just to support her and the child. She surprised everyone when four days after finding out about her husband's death, she asked the trader to keep an eye on her daughter while she went out and worked the trap line herself. The shame hit me like a brick over the head at that point. I realized that I should have done that when Colleen passed. I should have taken a moment to grieve and then gone back to work to support my daughter. Instead I left. She struggled with that trapline but she never gave up. I ended up going out with her, learning what needed to be done and where the traps were. Eventually, we split up when checking the trap line giving her more time with her daughter. Being busy with the traps and my work with the trader kept me from even thinking about alcohol."
"Come spring, she had more than enough for train passage to Saskatoon where she was from. She tried to split the money with me, wanting to be fair. I declined, though I did end up traveling with her and her daughter. I made sure she was home with her parents, accepted enough money for a couple of days at a hotel and food. I found a job with a builder in Saskatoon. I ended up turning up to the job site drunk one day at seven in the morning. He sent me home saying I wasn't safe to be on the site. When I finally sobered up later that day, I figured I had lost the job for sure. Instead that evening my boss stopped by the boarding house I was staying at. He told me that he was a recovering alcoholic himself and that it had almost cost him his wife and kids when his wife packed up one day and took their two kids back east to her childhood home. He said that was his wake up call. He found a counselor at that point and started working on staying sober. When he had been sober a year, he went east and begged his wife's forgiveness and asked her to come home. She said she would give him one more chance. My boss told me that if I wanted to keep my job then he expected me to work at beating my problem. He set me up with the counselor he still saw and offered to be a mentor. With their help, I have been sober since. When I told the counselor that I wanted to search you out and ask forgiveness from you and Ally, he said it was a good idea. Two days later, Judge Avery's letter reached me. It felt like a sign. After that, it was simply a matter of getting the courage to actually come see you."
It was at this point that Dylan finally looked up. "You were right about me Nathan. I was a drunk that was not worthy of Colleen's love. I realize now how lucky I was to have her love. Ally is a testament of that love, and I thank you for stepping up and taking care of her when I shirked my responsibility. I am sorry for all that I put you and your family through Nathan. Can you forgive me?"
Nathan felt his breath catch. He had hoped Dylan would take responsibility for his past actions. He had not expected a plea for forgiveness though.
The question was, could he do it? Could he forgive this man who had abandoned his daughter when times got rough? A man who had chosen his love of the bottle over his love of his family so many times.
People could change. Elizabeth and Hope Valley had taught him to see that. Acknowledging that and offering forgiveness was two separate challenges though.
On his own, Nathan did not think he could do it. However when he asked himself what would Colleen want him to do? What would his wife want him to do? Those two questions changed his answer.
"I do forgive you for your past mistakes, Dylan," Nathan told him. "However, you need to keep proving to me that you have changed. I am willing to help you in anyway I can, but if you go looking for the easy way out again, then I will wash my hands of you."
Though Dylan was surprised by Nathan's first statement, his brother-in-law continuing words did not.
"Thank you," Dylan replied, reaching out to grasp one of Nathan's hands in both of his own. "Does that mean you will let me see, Ally?"
Nathan sighed. He had made his brother-in-law a promise but he had made one to Ally too. He needed to honor both those promises.
"I can tell you that I will not stop you from seeing Ally if she is willing to see you, Dylan," Nathan told him. "As Ally has gotten older, she has started asking questions. Questions that I tried to answer honestly, no matter how hard the truth was."
"I understand," Dylan said, sitting back as he let go of the hand he had grasped. "I know you would not purposely make me look worse than I managed to make myself look."
"I will tell Ally tonight that you are in town. That you are working on staying sober and that you would like to see her. I will even tell her that you apologized to me and asked forgiveness and I gave it to you, just in case that makes a difference. However, if she says she does not want to see you then I will not force her to do so. I will also ask that you respect that choice."
Dylan nodded. "That sounds fair," the man replied. "Thank you, Nathan."
"I'll meet you at the café for breakfast at eight in the morning," Nathan said, getting to his feet. "I'll tell you Ally's decision then."
Dylan stood and held out his hand to his brother-in-law. Though he hesitated a bit, Nathan did reach out and shake it. "I'll see you then."
Ending the handshake, Nathan nodded and then turned and headed toward the door as Elizabeth and Bill were waiting in Bill's office. As he walked downstairs, Nathan was already trying to figure out how to break the news to Ally.
Rachel opened her eyes to a very dim room. Looking to the window, the curtain not drawn for the night, she realized that it was twilight. It would soon be dark. She had intended to only lay down for a few minutes upon returning home from work, but she had clearly been asleep for a few hours at this point.
Dinner!
Realizing that she had not made Autumn dinner yet, Rachel sat up as quickly as she could manage. Even then the baby protested with a firm kick. Rachel put her hand on her protruding stomach and rubbed the area where she had felt the strong kick. She could feel more movement under hand. The child she carried within her was not happy with the sudden movement. Her other child was probably hungry.
Rachel slipped her feet into her house slippers and got to her feet. She still rubbed her stomach, hoping to soothe the child within as she headed for the bedroom door. Opening it, she started to call to her daughter.
"Autumn, you-"
Rachel had been planning on telling her daughter that she should have woken her up to make dinner but the sight that greeted her made her stop. There at the cabins small table was Autumn and Pastor Zeke enjoying a meal together.
"Hi, Mama!" Autumn said happily. "Pastor Zeke brought us dinner. He put a plate for you on the stove."
Quite a few questions went through Rachel's mind. Before she could put voice to any of them, Zeke spoke as he rose to his feet.
"I was visiting with Cat Montgomery this afternoon and she sent me home with a whole casserole and a loaf of bread. More than enough for one person, so I decided to stop by before heading home. If you had not started dinner I thought you might like a break. When I stopped by, Autumn said you had been sleeping since the two of you got home."
"I asked who it was before I unlocked the door, Mama," Autumn interjected at that point proudly. "Pastor Zeke is on the list of people I can open the door for."
"Yes, he is," Rachel agreed. "You did well," she praised her daughter. The fact that dinner was provided was a relief, though Rachel also couldn't help but feel like she was already not giving Autumn the attention she deserved. Would things get worse when the baby came? "I thank you for thinking about us," Rachel told the pastor.
"You are welcome. May I get the plate we set aside for you, Miss Rachel?" Zeke asked.
Rachel shook her head. "Go back to your meal," she instructed nodding to the table. "I can get it."
Zeke nodded in acknowledgment. Though the pastor resumed his seat, he did not touch any more of his meal as he waited for Rachel. Autumn followed the pastor's lead.
Rachel retrieved the plate warming in the stove and took a seat at the table. She bowed her head for a quick, silent grace of her own before looking up. All three proceeded to enjoy their meal. Zeke kept an easy conversation going at first. When he and Autumn had finished eating, Autumn asked to be excused to go play in her room. Rachel gave her daughter permission. Alone with Rachel, Zeke ventured into a more sensitive topic.
"I realize your desire to provide for your child, Miss Rachel," Zeke began. "You have shown from the day you arrived in Hope Valley that you are not afraid of hard work. That is very admirable. However, you are carrying a life inside you now. You need to protect your own health to protect the life of your unborn child. God did not intend for women to nurture and raise a child alone, but sometimes women, like you, find themselves in that position through no fault of their own. That is when the rest of God's children must step in to fill in that missing role. Your fellow parishioners are ready to do that, Rachel. We have organized a meal rotation to provide meals that would only require warming up. Mrs. Grant is willing to do your shopping when she does her own. Or, Henry has offered to provide transportation in his car to and from town if you want to do it yourself. Ned has said that if you need to start a tab at the store and pay him later he would be willing to do so. Several of the mothers have said any time you need help watching Autumn to get some rest all you need to do is say so."
Rachel felt tears spring to her eyes. "Lucas has already informed me he won't accept rent payments until after the baby comes," she said, thinking of the recent conversation with her landlord.
"It is all right to ask for help in a time like this, Miss Rachel," Zeke told her. "I am sure that when the opportunity arises in the future and you are able to return the favor to someone who needs assistance that you will. Right now, we can help with Autumn and meeting your needs, but you are the only one that can take care of that unborn child right now."
Rachel nodded, the pastor's words sinking in. It was the third time today that friends had approached her about stepping back and taking care of herself. "I am not at the point where I need regular dinners," she told the pastor. "However, I will let Abigail know tomorrow that I will take the leave of absence from the café after tomorrow. Mr. Gowen's offer of transportation to do errands in town would be welcomed and I will ask Elizabeth tomorrow to start picking up Autumn for the book club."
Zeke nodded. "I think that is a good start," he told her with a smile. "I will let Henry know and ask him to pick you up to take you and Autumn into town tomorrow. Not walking might make your last shift at the café a little easier."
"Thank you, Pastor Zeke."
"When you feel like the meals would be beneficial, you will let me know, right?"
Rachel nodded. "I will."
With that the conversation went to lighter topics as Rachel finished her meal.