Eyes that see into Infinity
Part 2
Chapter Twenty Two
/
He was nervously scraping his shoe at the kitchen floor while waiting for his dad to say something. This was it. With no chance in hell to turn back.
His frantic glance moved from the ground so that he could peek out from behind his hair and up at his father. This was followed by his body tightening. Not a word was being said and that was usually a bad sign from any parent, for any reason. "Dad." It was like he had lost his father for a second and was hoping for him to say anything. Anything that would make this situation less uncomfortable. Even if he would have just came out and told him that he didn't approve, would have been better than standing there with shifty nerves trying to guess what he was thinking.
"Are you serious about it?" Amyntor finally responded, a bit overwrought about the subject.
Phai didn't know if that was a trick question or not but he was afraid to answer now because of how serious his father had turned from the moment he entered the kitchen to now. "I would never had told you this if I didn't think I was serious about him." He might as well just say it because he had already got by the 'liking Alex' part and it was too late to be 'just kidding' and too serious of a subject to just laugh it off, but he did need it off his chest so that he could breath easier and his dad would probably be the best to offer his support. He went to him because he felt more comfortable telling him. Mothers were way more controversial and he wasn't ready for it yet.
Amyntor tried to repress a sigh, while going back to his seat at the counter. He didn't appear as disappointed as Phai thought he was going to be, but it was still close enough. He was still a little confounded that this was the reason for his sons tears. "So you're attracted to the same sex?" He worded it much easier just so that it became clearer, but mostly trying to assure himself what he heard.
Phai didn't know how to answer that either, because if he looked back on all the boys he liked or crushed on, it was zero, and Alex was actually the first.
Yes, I was his first. But being 'first' doesn't always mean the 'best'. For example some people learn from there first mistake. I like to think that I was always the most important and "the best he's ever had" but clearly I was being selfish when I said that. But unfortunately by the end of our adolescence I was the mistake that I had to learn from.
"I think just Alex." Phai sniffed and answered a little defensively like liking anyone else other than Alex would be impossible.
'If you are what you say you are, then my heart went to the right place...' Is what Phai had told me when our days became eradicate and timeless, but I've held on to it ever since. My advice, don't let Phai fool you. The thing you need to know about him, is that he knows what he wants. He's always known, all the way down to the end result. If you can admit it to yourself, Phai was few and far between. If you don't know what that means, it means he wasn't exactly your typical kind of guy, with the flirting charm, swooping the ladies off their feet with massive arrogance. Yea, that was more me. He never thought about girls sexually or romantically. I don't think he had ever looked at a woman and came up with the same idea that he had about me, that maybe he was supposed to be spending his life with one. He never dreamed about getting married, or raising a family. He wasn't like me and spent so much time wondering why he was like that, the way he was. He never wondered if this is how he was supposed to be living, what people would call the normal way. He had discovered early on that all of that wouldn't be of any worth to him, because it wasn't what he wanted or who he was. Sure there had to have been a few ladies down the road that he thought were good looking but other than that he shared absolutely no feelings toward any of them. None. He was neither curious or cared in which he's made clear and makes clearer.
This is when the whole 'fate' thing came in to play. As far as I knew, looking back on all the visions of the past, Phai was only meant to be with me and even though I was the one with the visions and I was the one who could see my past and future, I was the one who ended up struggling to find myself? In my defense I wasn't stupid, but I admit, I still couldn't read into my visions quite yet, they were getting harder to see and understand. I was not only getting them randomly out of nowhere but they came to me out of order, and the king that I was trying to discover was always in and out of insanity drinking himself to the brink of inadequacy which made it harder. Not to mention he wasn't the most stable of people to be influenced by especially with his degenerate behavior. I was lost still, just as broken as I still am but Phai wasn't broken at all and I don't remember a time where he ever was. He knew better than me, he was stronger than me, smarter than me, prettier than me, the 'better' half of me and I emphasize 'Better'. Maybe that's why I was mad in love with him. Maybe that's why I desperately needed him. So that he could help me find myself.
And even though I was sometimes an idiot in the love department, I was worth all of his time and all of his focus. I was what he wanted. It was simple as that. Me. I was his future and I was his time and even though our future kind of gets knocked off track for awhile, I don't regret to tell you that the feelings never changed. I also don't regret to tell you that times will become rougher.
I'm sure you know me well by now. Or maybe you don't. The more famous me? A king. A superstar. Spotlights on all the time. Arrogant yet charming. Acts before I think. Yes I ran that kind of life. Was it what Phai wanted? Hell no. Probably not. But I give the credit to him.
Because he never looked back and wondered why he once loved me.
The good thing about Amyntor was that he knew how to have a sense of humor in tough situations and far less confrontational than his mother, sort of the laid back kind of dad all kids hoped for and accused of being easy going. However he could also be faithfully severe at times and harsh when necessary and right now both his strictness and light heart were weighing in his face when his gaze had met his sons.
"I don't know what to say." His father shook his head before smiling shortly. He rubbed his face tensely before looking right at his son. "This isn't what I expected. I'm sorry."
He knew it was upsetting for his dad. Phai could tell he was really trying hard to adjust. "I just don't want you to hate me."
Amyntor chuckled shortly at his son's absurd words. He was frustrated that his son would hurt him by saying that and also frustrated with what his son had just confessed. It wasn't easy being a parent. How was he supposed to react? "Why would I hate you Phai?"
His sad eyed son looked at him, his emotions flooding, hearing the hurt in his fathers voice. By this time he thought they would be yelling and screaming at eachother. By this time he thought he would be walking out the house to go find another place to sleep. By this time he thought his dad would be lost for words and walk away in disgust but Phai was almost angry that his father wasn't angrier at him. He had his words planned out if his parents decided to abandon him but what he didn't expect was his father trying his best to hear him out. It was as if he needed confirmation that liking boys was bad but his dad seemed to be having mixed feelings which kind of made it harder. If he just told him it was wrong then Phai could just leave. If his dad said he was okay with it, then cool. But neither happened. It was like being stuck in a rollercoaster that malfunctioned while upside down. "Aren't you mad that I like him?"
"I'm not mad. I'm just not overly happy about it either." Amyntor hated to have to tell his son that. So many things sprung through his head, the toughest part being on how to talk to his son about it without sounding unreasonable or that he didn't approve of that lifestyle. He didn't want his son to think he was being inconsiderate towards his feelings or a homophobe. It was normal for a parent to be shocked and dissapointed at first especially if they never had to address that sort of issue before, and if this was a perfect world all would be said and done but Amyntor knew it would have been easier to accept if he didn't already know how his wife would feel about it. "Shit." He cursed strongly. When he saw his sons reaction he apologized. "Sorry. I have to think about this for a second." He was going through an assortment of emotions, possibly more than his son was going through.
"Think about what? I can tell it's bothering you. If it is just say so. If you have a problem with me liking him just fucking say so!" Phai angrily expressed.
"It's not about how I feel." His father expressed back. "It might bother your mother. That's all." Amyntor responded narrowing his eyes at the counter. That was both their biggest worry. He sighed and closed his eyes trying to regain his understanding. In some ways he felt he didn't even have a say in his childrens lives. He was always out and in the door and never had a leveled bond with either of them because of the inconsistencies that came with joining the military. He did consider himself close to his kids. But they were close only when he was home for them.
Phai watched his dad take a deep breath. "You already knew didn't you?" The teen asked after realizing why his dad wasn't overly angry about it. He sort of felt his dad had his suspicions already with the teasing he would do once in awhile.
"Yea." He looked at his son gravely.
Phai frowned angrily, like he was just betrayed. "Why didn't you say anything?"
His father let out a breath. "I tried to ignore it, in respect for your privacy."
"Why the fuck did I even come and tell you then?! Do you know how hard this was for me!?"
"I know Phai. That was wrong of me and I'm sorry. I should have said something when I suspected it." Amyntor didn't know how to be anything but honest with his son and himself.
Phai calmed down, honestly thinking that it could have went way worse, so now he was just standing shyly like an idiot wondering what to do and say. "How?"
"I'm your father, I notice these things. I'm not blind or stupid. And neither is your mother Phai."
"Well what am I supposed to do. Change how I feel?"
"We can't change how you feel. And you can't change how you feel either."
He had got that right. His feelings for Alex weren't going to change anytime soon. No matter what would happen.
"I'm not telling mom." Phai folded his arms stubbornly.
His father left his seat and came up to him hugging him warmly and then went back grabbing his drink and book, leaving his son wondering what was going to happen next.
"Come on." Amyntor said calmly. "Let's go to the other room."
Phai grumbled, not sure if he was ready to sit down with his dad and discuss it some more. Unfortunately his dad was a pain in the ass. But he was glad he was atleast open to conversation.
They went into the living room and Amyntor made him sit. They ended up talking about it for almost an hour so that they both came to a relaxed state of mind.
It wasn't easy for Phai to do. It wasn't easy for his father to listen either. It's hard knowing that something so honest and personal between two people, could be violated just by words, rude remarks, unnecessary glares and questioning eyes. Good thing Amyntor wasn't like that. Amyntor was a good father and a good man. He was smart and funny, but he also had traits none of the other adults in our life had. Where they were rejecting, spiteful and cruel, he was embraceful, humble, and affectionate. The man whose son I fell in love with later became a big part of my life. I don't want to spoil how big of my life he actually became a part of but once I got to know him, there wasn't much intimidation left. I didn't have to worry about him going to the garage to grab his assault rifle. I've always respected him and I've always reminded Phai how lucky he was to have a dad like that, not just for allowing me to love his son but he was also the only adult in Phai's life who accepted it and allowed his son to love me back.
"Phai I don't want you to think we would ever hate you."
"I know dad."
"I know you do. So does Alex feel the same way?"
"I think so." Phai mumbled quietly. He hadn't spoken or seen Alex after school that day but he was hoping Alex wasn't mad at him for how he was with him earlier. He couldn't blame Alex for the Roxanne situation because even though he got mad at him for it, he didn't blame him once. He just knew eventually down the road when things turned more hectic, Alex will blame himself. For everything.
"How did you guys meet?"
"Middle school. He had a staring problem. We've always been neighbors though I just never talked to him."
His dad nodded. Then the more serious questions were being asked. "Do you feel good around him?"
"Yea." Phai smiled at how awkward it was that his dad was asking this. "Alot."
"Is he respectful and kind to you?"
"More than enough." Phai was being careful with the words to chose. It didn't matter how amazing Alex was, parents were protective no matter what.
Phai wasn't expecting what he had said next.
"I'm glad that you found someone Phai." It was honest, but he was still clearly dubious about it, but Phai understood that it wasn't going to be solved overnight.
"What about mom?"
"I won't tell your mother. You will tell her when you're ready."
Phai was shocked when he heard that. He looked at his dad in disbelief. "Really?" It was like his dad was holding back from saying something on his mind, because he seemed unsound and his face looked stressed. Maybe it was involved. Phai didn't know. He didn't want to ask either.
"I never told you it was wrong Phai. I never told you anything." Amyntor replied sternly just wanting his son to understand that he would always be his father no matter what. "Alright?"
Phai nodded but wasn't sure why.
"You should get to bed son, you look tired."
Phai was still a little worried about his father's reaction thinking maybe his dad changed the subject intentionally. Maybe he didn't hear him correctly. "Are you positive you heard me right?"
"Yes Phai." His dad smiled, but something was lost. "You like Alex. I know."
"Just making sure." Phai slowly grabbed his bag, still feeling like nothing was relieved yet and headed to the stairs thinking his dad needed a little more time to get used to him liking another boy.
"Phai?" His father called him back.
The teen stopped and then dragged his feet back to the room. "Yea?" He was hoping that he wasn't in trouble this time but when he heard the question the hairs on his body rose and stiffened.
"Have you two had sex?"
Phai forgot that question was going to be asked eventually, but still somehow knew it was coming and was too nervous and uncomfortable to answer. His throat became compressed. He couldn't believe this was happening right now but after the trust they just gained he didn't want to lie to his father either. "Do I really have to answer that?"
"You might aswell." Amyntor sat comfortably. "You got this far." He was serious but the moment might aswell have been comical.
Phai was trying to figure out how to answer. He opened his mouth to say something but decided that it wasn't what he wanted to say or afraid it wasn't the right way to say it. "Yea." He mumbled under his breath, while looking at the carpet.
His father still didn't seem as upset as he could have been. But Phai knew he was probably holding it back. "How old were you guys?"
Phai blushed even deeper. "Dad this is embarrassing."
Amyntor got excited. "Just tell me, tell me everything so that I can't tell you years from now that I didn't know who my son was. Trust me it's going to feel good to have no secrets left. I need you to be comfortable telling me these things Phai or else you never will be. You don't think I've had embarrassing moments when I had to tell my parents about my sex life."
"Yea but you didn't have to tell your parents you liked a boy."
His dad didn't say anything to that, just smiled and nodded in understanding. It was true.
"I was sixteen. The same day he came back." Phai kept his eyes down.
Amyntor remained calm and sneered a bit knowing that was the day he had first met Alex. Naturally that type of thing would have been offensive especially since Amyntor wasn't introduced to Alex yet, but the kid had guts, that's for sure. For a kid who seemed so indecisive, and shy, Alex sure knew what he wanted. "He's brave, I'll give him that."
Phai gave a little nervous smile. Brave didn't do Alex justice. "Don't kill him though, I was the one who wanted it... I might have also kissed him on the cheek when we were in middle school. But that's all that happened."
"That wasn't hard. Now you can finally get some sleep." Phai watched his dad get up from the couch and grab his cup. "We'll figure something out."
"Are things going to be okay with us?"
Amyntor replied peacefully. "Yea. I just need time. But we'll be okay. I promise, it'll be alright."
"Thanks dad." Phai responded quietly and then left to his room. Everything became silent once he heard the door close from his sons room. Amyntor walked to the kitchen and poured out his drink. He washed the glass and put it upside down on a towel next to the sink. He turned off the rest of the lights downstairs and went to go sit back down on the couch. He blinked just staring ahead with his hands in his lap. It took awhile but his tears finally came.
The time would eventually come near when the secret is no longer a secret. Then there would come a day where everyone finds out. I didn't expect everyone to be accepting. It wouldn't be realistic if they did, unless ofcourse they're your closest friends. I wasn't planning on keeping it a secret forever, just until Phai and I were comfortable with it ourselves.
But you know how things don't always work out the way we want it.
"He did that to you?!" Her girlfriends surrounding her were surprised that this time the gossip was actually true. Half the rumors in the school were bullshit.
"Yea." Roxanne answered after she told her friends what Alex had done to her.
The dark eyed young woman was looking at the very and almost invisible mark that Alex supposedly had left on her neck in the mirror in the girl's bathroom. It was safe to say you couldn't see anything but she was making a big deal out of it anyway. He didn't hurt her, but there were times she could still feel his hands there. The only thing that hurt was that moment of him telling her that he didn't love her and defending Phai on top of it. Now she knew what he really felt about her. Or about him. Either way she would never get over it.
"Maybe you should like tell the principal." One suggested while turning to the other girls while they agreed.
"Yea and get his ass suspended. What makes him think he can just touch you like that? He should know better especially since he's a man."
The dark skinned girl just shrugged at her friends. "I can but I'm not worried about it." If anyone knew her as well as they claimed they would know she wanted him to suffer in some sort of guilt. She liked games. "I'm a big girl. I'll be fine."
The difference between Roxanne as a young girl compared to now was haunting. There was no one as wicked in my life than her. They used to call my mother a cunning bitch but my mother would have never done the things Roxanne has done to hurt others. She went from an annoying brat obsessed with me to a wickedcrazedlovesickbitch, one word, with no sense of goodness or shame. I usually only try and surround myself with good people and until I realized Phai wasn't exaggerating about her, it was too late. I shouldn't have got stupid.
I shouldn't have got stupid.
I shouldn't have let her back in my life.
"Have you at least told your dad?" The girls were also surprised that she hadn't told anybody but this was another one of her mind games as she intended.
A small grin grew. "No." She wrapped a scarf around her neck being a little dramatic like he had left a gigantic hand print on her. "My father would kill him if he found out."
"Whatever Roxanne." One of her friends just rolled her eyes knowing well her infatuation with Alex. It would have been easier if she had just gotten over him. "We'll see you after class." And then they left.
She sighed after staring at herself in the mirror while laying her long hair over her shoulders. She only seen Alex a couple of times at school and avoiding him was working out great for her, but she didn't see Phai at all at school, and that was even better.
Then the girl started to apply makeup onto her skin. Something in her eyes flicked with badness when she applied the black eyeliner. Then her dark purple eyeshadow and last, coloring her lips blood red.
Once done and other girls entered the space, giving her looks, she grinned at them and turned to leave the bathroom.
When she went to her locker, waiting for her was Alex, looking like he hadn't slept in years. "Hey." he said to her softly and he knew by the glare she sent him, that she didn't want him around. The blonde as always appeared sweet and guiltless.
And Roxanne looked like she was just about ready to kill him. "You're in my way. Move." She knew he would eventually come to her, she was surprised though, thinking he wouldn't after what he did.
"We need to talk." He said leaving her pretty much no choice. He tried to smile kindly but she wouldn't even look at him.
"After what you did to me, uh no." Roxanne turned around and headed down the hallway, thinking putting her stuff away wasn't that important anymore.
"I'm sorry Roxanne. You have no idea how bad I feel. I should have never put my hands on you." he just followed her, not thinking anything of the stares he was getting by everyone who had already heard about it.
"You better feel bad, you left a bruise on my neck!" she stopped and turned to bark at him.
The blonde stopped and frowned. "Wait. What?"
"You heard me. You left a bruise on my neck, this is why I am wearing a scarf you asshole." Now she was looking right at him, with her hands on her hips.
"I didn't even touch you bad enough to leave a mark." He claimed with no sympathy for her.
"Really Alex? You were choking me and you slammed me against the locker? Did you forget, because I didn't?" she argued back, adoring her lies that Alex was oblivious about.
He looked irritated because he didn't want to be reminded and she was reminding him of all the reasons why he was coming to say sorry in the first place. "I didn't hurt you. I know I didn't hurt you."
"That's easy for you to say, you weren't the one who had hands around your fucking neck. You want to know why you don't remember what you did? Because you were busy yelling at me."
"I don't remember yelling at you either."
"Whatever Alex, does it matter? You were being a dick, out of nowhere. You're so lucky I haven't told the principal yet." she grunted bitterly.
"Hold on. So this is my fault?"
"Who else's would it be?"
He took a tiny moment to compose himself before a different hand was casted. "Of course it is." He laughed with slight anger but he stayed at a strange calm. "It's always my fault. With everything. When is it never not my fault?" He couldn't believe how much shit he took from people. From his dad, his mom, Roxanne, Cassy, himself, everyone. He could never win with anyone.
"You were never like this before, until you met Phai." she spat his name with absolute disgust.
"Like what?" He innocently asked.
"I can't even describe it. I just know it makes me sick." she answered visciously.
"People change. I changed. It happens."
She hated that he always had an answer for everything even if it didn't make sense to her.
"No, it doesn't just happen. You changed a lot. You're not even the same person. It's like youre confused about yourself." For once something she said held truth. "You don't just kiss a boy. It's not normal."
After that remark Alex went silent for a minute. He managed to hold in a sigh. He just wanted to put all of it behind him. When he planned to go apologize, Phai wasn't meant to be brought in the topic. "Look, Roxanne, whatever I did to hurt you, whatever I said to hurt you, I should have never done or said. That wasn't me and I'm sorry. I overreacted..."
"Do you love him?"
The question came from nowhere, interrupting him and he just looked at her. And in his face and eyes should have told her everything. Everything shitty in his life that he is currently going through at the moment. Everything shitty in his life that he hasn't been through yet but is expected, and that answering her this question was not meant to be on top of his shit list, but it was and he was sorry...
For not being able to love her in return.
"I'm sorry Roxanne."
/
Blue eyes sparkle with wetness as he backs away from his king and leaves him alone with his new wife. They wait until he's left. All that could be heard was the party and music happening from outside, the king's men still boast about the ceremony.
Do you love him? The queen asks.
The king takes a step closer to her in his royal gown. He is Hephaistion. He answers his enraged queen after she dismisses the servants from her presence.
First the whore and now him! She hisses like a snake being poked at with a stick. What do I even mean to you?
He steps closer to her with a balanced gaze as she backs away. Tell me Alexander...
Tell me Alex...
\
"Tell me Alex. Do you love him or not?" she repeated because Alex seemed to be lost from transmission or just avoiding the question but it was just another out of nowhere memory and his focus came back on her. His heavy eyes capturing her more cheerless ones.
"Yea." There was only a brief pause until he answered, no matter how hard it was for him to do. "I do."
The teen girl looked like her heart was torn out her chest. "I don't mean anything to you?" her eyes were gleaming like wet glass.
"It's complicated Roxanne." The warmth he's always had hadn't left his voice but it wasn't enough to have her forgiveness. The king married and tooks wives for political reasons and pleasure. Did he love Roxanne at all, was hard to answer because his visions hadn't gone that far and with the kings behavior so complex and filled with twists and turns, he could only understand what was going on in that head for so long. "You mean alot to me as a friend and I may have loved you in another life. Just not this one."
She did not take that well at all but who would? I'm surprised she didn't smack me. Or maybe she did and I don't remember because my head paused right in the middle of spinning out of control. I'm surprised I even said what I did. I admit I was never the best with putting words together and I probably stabbed her in the heart, unintentionally, but I meant what I had said. I loved her at one point in my life. How much love we had?...I might be the only one that believes there are many ways to love.
Speaking of love. I didn't have many lovers. So few, that I can name them easily but as more and more time went by, I was so busy I had no time for love at all.
If the women thought I was weird because I held no interest, then the men thought I was even weirder. I did swing both ways. I didn't care, people were people. Pleasure was pleasure. If I like you, I liked you. If you loved me, I would love you back. If you hated me then my charm will eventually rub off on you and you will be running back to me by the end of the day but that doesn't mean I was attracted to either of these said people, and I didn't open my heart up to any of these people, so don't mistake me for a man whore, who breaks hearts. Phai was my only real love. Most people can't say that there was one and only one. People date, people fuck and that's life and they do it until they find the right person. Nope not me.
Phai also had his preferences. They were alot less subjective. He didn't swing both ways. He found pleasure unecessary and unlike me he was very modest. If he liked you, you were lucky. If you liked him, good luck getting him. If you loved him, again goodluck. If you hated him, he didn't care. He's only had one other lover than me. If there was love, is still being questioned. But Phai was asexual more than anything because of his lack of interest in girls, his strictness to what he found attractive in other boys, lack of sexual need and his desire for just one. As we know it, sex was standard and crucial in the world. He wasn't impressed by it. For awhile he was content with just liking me.
Then things happened and he was content with being alone.
Roxanne's world suddenly tipped and shattered when Alex turned away and left her struck, standing there with the roof caving in. The bell rung and the students who overheard and listening in, went back to doing what they were doing before.
Cassy was destroying a bag of chips while staring out towards the field. He was disturbed about something and his friends looked at him while he crushed the poor bag. "Hey if youre not going to eat that. I will."
Cassy immediately tossed the chips at Crater calling him a fatass. Then the green eyes went back to his thoughts. The boys just scoffed and Crater shrugged not really taking what Cassy says offensively and proceeded to eat the chips.
"So where is everybody?" Alex hadn't showed up and they assumed he just wasn't going to. "No Alex today? That's weird." Phil asked as he sat on the bleachers with the rest of the gang while they ate their lunch.
"Who cares?" Cassy snapped at him like mentioning Alex's name was not allowed around him.
"Someone's still in a pissy mood!" Phil stated.
"You two should just kiss and make up already." Crater responded before slurping from his cup. "Whatever happened to the bromance?"
"I'm going to have to agree with those two. It's weird seeing you and Alex not talking." Leon spoke.
Crater and Tolem were probably the only two of the group who figured out the problem with Alex, Cassy and Phai. Tolem knew the whole story and Crater just knew some of it. He remembered Cassy expressing once to him about wanting Phai and wanting to break his heart. They were sophmores at the time and he didn't really question the vulgarity of Cassy's comment. So he figured Alex was on the same train. He did not know anything about them being in actual love with Phai. He just thought it was some competition thing going on that involved the pretty eye boy. But he did always question why they would fight over another man, but knew it wasn't any of his business either way.
Cassy sighed. He didn't care about how any of them felt about it, he just wanted them to stop bringing it up. "Just shut up about it." The green eyed teen said. "Alex can go die for all I care."
"What's up with you anyway?" Phil asked Cassy kind of concerned about his mood, as they all were, but their was no way they could break Cassy's shield in telling them anything.
"It's nothing, mind your own fucking business Phil."
"Damn, sorry for even speaking."
Crater just shook his head and dove his subway sandwhich into his mouth after everything went silent between the group of boys.
Then when Cassy saw Tolem who had said nothing to any of them when he walked by, his usual smirk grew. The boys all saw that look and knew nothing good was going to come of it but atleast he was showing some of his old self again. "I'll be right back." He said hopping up from the bleachers while still keeping his tart eyes on Tolem who was heading towards the gym side of the school.
"Where are you going. Practice starts soon." Perdicas called him.
"Start without me." Cassy replied and went to catch up with there frizzy haired friend.
"Fucking great." Perdicas moaned.
Now they were down two captains and two players. Tolem wasn't going to join them today it looked like. Alex had left school before practice. Phai decided to put the extra hours into swimming instead. And Cassy wasn't in the mood anymore.
Meanwhile Tolem was reading a book minding his own business until two cheerleaders snatched it away from him while making there way to the field where the rest of the practice was happening. "Oh looky. It's Tolem."
"I'm surprised they allow nerds like you to play sports. What are you reading anyway? The guide on how to be a loser?"
"No. Give me my book back please." he asked dully, not really swayed by their insults.
"Or what?" she giggled.
"Piss off bitches, go back to your flips and shit." Cassy cut short, coming up behind Tolem with a little grin. "You know I'm the only one allowed to push him around right? Now be on your merry way little girls." The green eye boy shooed them away.
"Whatever Cassy. You're as much of a loser as the rest of your friends." One said.
"You break my heart. You really do. Bye, bye now."
The girls left being rather persuasive in voicing how much of a dick Cassy was. Cassy didn't mind and realized Tolem hadn't thanked him, took his book and continued to walk.
"Hey dork wait up." The mean eyed boy ran up and snatched Tolem without any manners and took him to the side to resume a conversation that hadn't yet started. "Where are you going?"
"Great. It's you." Tolem gave him the nastiest look. "I have to be somewhere."
"What the library?"
Tolem glared. "Yea."
"Still mad at me?" Cassy asked smiling.
"What the hell do you think?"
Cassy was a cruel man most of the time. He could also be nice when he wanted to be, believe it or not, but his malicious temper whether we hate it or not came with his charm. That was just who he was. While I was charming and likable, Cassy was charming and mean and that's probably another reason why we were in conflict most of the time.
"I'm sorry about last night. I should have been nice and offered to take Phai home." It was hard to take Cassy seriously. Not just Tolem but everyone found it hard to read into his sarcasm. Even though Cassy meant it to sound sarcastic, he really meant it.
Tolem prepared himself knowing that whatever Cassy wanted it had to do something with Phai. "I don't want to hear it." He started to walk and Cassy just came up beside and started walking with him, with his hands in his leather jacket and a playful smile on his lips.
"Why?"
"Because I don't."
"Aw youre so cute when your upset." The mean eyed teen fluffed Tolem's hair and laughed when Tolem pushed his hand away.
"Go away Cassy!"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I like bothering you."
"You hardly talk to me."
"I like Phai, Tolem." Cassy abruptly announced just letting it out there.
Tolem scoffed. "Really. That's it?"
"This is why I act the way I do to him." Cassy continued.
"Oh my god, Cassy I don't care." The frizzied haired boy stopped infront of him looking annoyed out of his mind. He had the feeling Cassy wasn't going to be leaving him alone anytime soon. "This isn't news to me. I always knew you liked Phai. Always. It never crossed my mind that you didn't. I knew you liked him before I found out Alex did. So why don't you tell him that instead of being a fucking prick to him all the time?"
Cassy just grinned and wrapped his arm around Tolem's neck like they were best friends. "Oh Tols, Tols. If it were that easy." He took out a cigarette and lit it even though they weren't supposed to be smoking on school campus. "I can tell Phai that I like him. I already have. The problem is getting him to like me back."
"He's not going to like you if you act like a sexual predator."
"Is that what he thinks of me?" The sharp eyed boy seemed rather curious.
"Yea and I can't imagine why."
"I don't only think about sex Tolem. Incase you're wondering I do have a heart. Sometimes." He said with snide.
"Really? Because we've been wondering where it's been this whole time."
"I said sometimes. But maybe if you tell Phai and put in a good word for me, I might like you forever."
He took Cassy's arm from around his shoulder. "I am not going to do that for you. I don't even like you that much."
"I don't think it's because you don't like me. I think it's because you're worried about how Alex would feel."
"Oh god here we go."
"You know it's true. Everyone is so damn in love with Alex. Why? It beats the hell out of me."
"Maybe because Alex presents himself better."
"Alex is a pussy." Cassy remarked back.
Tolem smirked shaking his head. "Admit it, you're jealous of him."
"No I'm not. I could get Phai." Cassy confidently replied.
Tolem stopped himself from laughing. "The only way you could get Phai is if Alex gives him up. The only way you can impress Phai is if you act nicer around him, with human manners, then maybe he might have a reason to like you back. But until then, I don't see much hope for you in the future."
Cassy released smoke from his mouth looking like being nicer would be difficult to manage. "Gee, thanks for the help. I would have went to my fucking dog if I wanted that advice."
"Then next time go to your dog."
"I had to put him down last week and I figured you're the next best thing." Cassy insulted.
"You're such a fucking dick."
"I know." He admitted and threw his cigarette by Tolem's shoe walking away.
"Oh and Cassy?"
"What?" The mean eyed teen stopped and looked at him.
"Just because Phai has good looks that doesn't make him some slutty whore. He knows he's pretty and he knows the people who want him because he's pretty. You being one of them."
"Great Tolem. So I have to be nicer and don't make a big deal about his face? Gotcha. I'll check that off my list when I get home."
Tolem just gave him the finger and left. The green eyed boy smiled and went to join his team who had started already with their warm ups.
The cheerleaders stretching, stopped when they saw Roxanne entering the field. They had noticed that she was in a different mood since Alex talked to her. They recalled her new attitude and she was taking whatever the problem was out on them while making them work harder and longer. They didn't have to ask her what the problem was because again, the school was full of gossip and it happened infront of everyone. Well, mostly everyone.
"Okay, we start a second round in ten minutes. After your stretches, run another mile around campus." Roxanne came up to them throwing at them fresh water bottles and sunblock.
"Again?"
"Did I stutter." She snapped at them harshly. "Didn't think so."
The team just rolled their eyes and continued with their stretches while Roxanne scanned down the chart to see who had showed up.
Cassy also had noticed her down mood, when he spotted Roxanne. And when he saw the cheerleaders talking in their little group he decided to give the girls a little visit himself. His face and eyes grew somber and he tossed the football back to Crater.
"What the hell Cassy, now where are you going?"
Ofcourse he ignored them and when the cheer team saw him approaching, Roxanne and the girls looked at him giving snooty looks.
"Hello ladies." It was less charmful and more harmful.
"Ew, what do you want Cassy. Our discussion was going just fine without you." One of the girls replied mad because he was in their sun.
"Is your poor little team falling apart already is that why you came over." They teased him noticing that none of the boys on his team were motivated plus plenty were missing.
"You girls and your god awful humor. How the heck is the neck Roxanne." He asked articulately focusing more of his attention on her while ignoring the rest.
"What concern is it to you?" She gave back a snappy attitude knowing where his sarcasm lied and that he wouldn't regard her in interest if he didn't have something mean to say. He was going to take full advantage of it.
"Apparently it's really bad and I'm really worried about you."
"That's not funny Cassy." One of the cheerleaders retorted, knowing his intent was to be a jackass.
"Fuck off." he barked back and they knew he wasn't there to just be a nuisance. He had something on his mind.
"Why do you care?" Roxanne asked folding her arms across her chest.
"I don't care." Cassy got into her face. "Infact I wanted him to kill you. I wanted to wake up the next day knowing that school was cancelled because their was a murder in the girls fucking locker room!" He yelled. "And pity all you got was a simple little mark."
Roxanne was already losing patience. "Seriously would you just leave. I'm busy."
"No. So why did you bring up my name when you had your oh so comforting conversation with Phai the other day?"
That name just made her angrier. "Are you man because it blew up in your face."
"It blew up in yours too. I'm not the one who got strangled by the king of 'I have anger problems'."
"Yea and you almost got your ass kicked by him." she reminded. "Don't flatter yourself Cassy. Your name slipped from my lips as little as your life means here in this school. I just told him what you told me. And some more. Now get out of my face." She didn't want to talk about it and started to return to marking off the attendance list.
Alex might have the strive to kill Roxanne but Cassy would kill her a thousand times over, with no apologies. He was bothered about it because he did like Phai, he just had no way of expressing it which made it harder, not to mention Phai was just plain fucking hard to get.
"I know what you told him bitch. I'm asking why?" he quickly snatched the chart and held it away from her so that she couldn't reach it.
"You must think I'm stupid. You don't think I know that you also like Phai. Alex I would have never guessed but you?"
He looked at her as if she was mistaken but she knew the truth. She must have been right because he fell silent for awhile. She wasn't stupid. She was actually incredibly smart and used that to her advantage in life. The dark haired girl patted his chest and leaned into his ear. "Get a life Cassy." Then she pushed him out her way while she went back to practice so that her girls weren't waiting longer.
Cassy's thoughts shifted. Rage shooting through him. But he wasn't stupid either. It was like playing fire with fire. "So I guess Alex broke up with you."
She suddenly turned back towards him. "What are you talking about."
"Nothing it's just what everyones been saying." He shrugged and when he came up to her he did the same thing she did to him. He cupped his hand gently behind her head and leaned into her ear. "I told you he didn't love you. I hate to be the one to say I told you so bitch."
He then left her this time standing there shocked.
"Your men seem quiet yet restless. What good companions they are to their king."
"I would expect that during a time like this. I hope you summoned me so that you're ready to plead your guilt." He wasn't having it. Not this late. Being in a room with her was like putting himself in a trap.
"I didn't summon you because I know anything of my husbands absence. The hour is late and I would have to worry again tomorrow." The queen kept her strong gaze upon him, but Cassander wasn't intimidated one bit. "I realize you think me to be the cause. But I summoned you because maybe it perhaps this problem falls between your men."
Immediately Cassander dismissed the guards with a swipe of his hand and turned towards the devil queen. Once the guards left their post Cassander came closer to Roxanne with a cynical arch above his eyes. "Are you this shrewd that you would accuse us knowing of Alexander's location? His own men."
"Shrewd? I'm just a concerned wife worried about her husband." The dark skinned woman sat at the end of her bed in her geeen night gown.
"Now you're concerned when you were just condemning him to Hades?" The general chuckled. "I must say I'm not surprised. Even the heavens know of your deceit. This wouldn't be a way to direct our minds elsewhere would it." he paced, eyes locked with her coal ones.
"I realize all the words I've said about him, everything I've cursed on him was all my frustration foiling, but you should know what a wound feels like." The general did know her situation with Alexander and his lack of interest as a husband towards her. "I would never want Alexander dead no matter how low you think of me. I just want him home like so many do so that he may turn back into the Alexander he was once."
"And what Alexander would that be?" he questioned, challengingly, thinking that a good question to ask because who really knew who he was?
"The one who was loved by all. A king of mercy and honor. The man built of kindness. The man who once loved me."
"Don't pray for that Alexander back. You won't get him."
"I need him to carry my child." She sounded honest and feeble for such a sharp mouthed woman and Cassander glanced unkindly towards her stomach.
"You with the kings child? What a cursed boy you would bring into this world."
She stood and walked up to him graciously. "This kingdom is going to need one soon. An heir. Cursed or not." Her voice pleaded.
"Well, you are not wrong." He answered as he took things into his hands and placed them back down to pick up something else. "But you are wrong to accuse my men or I of such a thing. You must know that Alexander is still a good friend of mine and I also would never want him dead or hurt. I've been frustrated yes, I've voiced my concerns as much as any, maybe more than most, but thoughts can be defeated. But if I did it, if I did conspire against him, I would want to be known as the man who did it. I'm not fond of guessing games."
"Neither am I." She responded heavily back. "I know your feelings towards the king and I love him but if no return, he will need to be replaced or I will be lost."
"What are you saying?" Cassander began to really focus.
"I'm saying that we must move on. The kingdom, these men need hope again. Mourning him, won't do any good for the people. We have to leave this place. It's cursed."
"The men decided not to march until Alexander is found." Cassander turned to leave but she stopped him with what she had to say next.
"And how long do you think that is going to take while we drown in these rains and as your men die from snake bites and fever. You've lost so many, during the battle and during these heavy storms. The soldiers are trying to heal still but how can they. Even if you find just his body without life, what would have been the point to risk all for one. I love my husband more than any of you but we must move on." Yes Alexander was dear to her, but if he wasn't there for her as a king and husband, then he was useless.
"Not until he is found. That is my final answer." Cassander struck a mean smile, grasping the flap to exit.
"Do you really think me a fool? It has nothing to do with what your men agreed upon. It has to do with that one man who has this grasp on Alexander's heart, that no one else can seem to get to."
"Hephaistion?"
"Yes." Her eyes danced with the fire light.
Even for someone like him, he was shocked that she brought Hephaistion up, but it kept his interest anyway. He looked over his shoulder."What about him?"
/An arrow came flying out of the bushes and it pierced into the horse's back thigh. The hurt animal whimpered and started to back up while it's legs weakened.\
"We sit here because you hold interest in the kings little lap dog and you await for his return, not the kings. You would have put me to death by now if you didn't think the same thing as I do about Alexander but Hephaistion is in your way. You don't see it, but he has taken everything from you men. Including the king and you still track him like a boy in love."
The general laughed finally understanding why she really summoned him. "My men think the indians are responsible, I think you are, and youre saying Hephaistion could be the cause of Alexander's demise? Hephaistion wouldn't dare attempt anything like this you crazed woman."
/Hephaistion saw another arrow fly into his horses rib almost making it through his thigh, and reacting because of the attack, he quickly jumped off the beast while drawing his sword. He crouched low to the muddy grounds while staying alert.\
"You are foolish then not to have seen this coming. There are certain things the gods would like to conceal."
/The brunette general came up next to his horse and touched the arrow gently that was deep in its side, but still keeping an eye out. "Damn it." He cursed after recognizing the same arrows from the battle that they had almost lost Alexander from, and no doubt the tip was colored in poison.\
"Hephaistion is not capable of that." Cassander couldn't believe what she was telling him.
"He's perfectly capable and he's also a being of great intelligence, an intelligence that you would demoralize? He's also the only one who would have that sort of access to the kings tent with no guards to wonder why. And since he's been so easily put aside as a threat, he could have slipped passed any one of us. After all he is a diplomat being appointed in relations to other governments, so what's to say he doesn't know a thing or two about proposing a design and working around this governments system. He knows secrets of the king we don't even know and he's to be trusted? You think to little of him, that you wouldn't think twice." She arched a brow. "He is the dearest of the kings friends, who shares all of his secrets, and if I am put to death because of it, he will soon follow where my blood spills. He took Alexander from me and I will repay him with a blade in his throat."
"You're mad. What you're saying isn't possible. He just decided one day to steal the king's body?"
"Why not? The kings body is valuable. You men know that. One day you will fight eachother for it and go as far as stealing his body from the underworld. Hephaistion is no different animal. He does know of your plots against Alexander and the smart thing to do if I were Hephaistion would be to take Alexander's body away. Far away. After all he has always wanted the king to himself."
"And he would go through this much trouble to steal Alexander's body? He's out in this storm, with little food, no shelter and just a sword."
"It's madness to you but sanity to him."
"I've had enough of your slimy tongue. You better hope Alexander still lives to keep me from removing your head from the rest of your body." Cassander hastily stated before leaving her tent and calling the guards to go back in their position. He had no time to get caught up in her delirious dreams all because of her desires to have Hephaistion burn.
The queens lips swelled in a devilish scowl and she pulled up the covers to enter into her bed getting ready to slip into the arms of morpheus and as so she prays that Hephaistion dies while trying to seek his king. Just to soothe her soul.
Hephaistion quickly looked around at the bushes, hearing rattling sounds. The general growled at them to scare them off, and kept his sword close for his defense. He was like a panther hissing at the bare bodies running and surrounding him throughout the bushes, but they were fast and he couldn't get a good look at them.
He could run but he didn't want to leave his horse behind. And if there were as many enemies in the bushes and trees of the forests as he thought he saw, then it was pointless.
The general ripped the arrows from the horse and apologized when the animal cried out. It was safer to take them out because of the poison leading to an infection that might be uncurable. He petted the horses mane comfortingly before standing up bravely, when the indians finally decided to come out slowly from the bushes towards him with spears and arrows pointed. There had to have been atleast ten of them. He clung on to the handle of his sword tight, ready to fight if they attacked, perfectly aware that he was outnumbered.
They were speaking to eachother, as they took steady steps towards him in their language.
"Where is King Alexander?" Hephaistion asked knowing they would atleast recognize Alexander's name and when their eyes and ears perked up when they heard it, he knew they had seen him.
But clearly the painted men weren't there to be civil and neither was Hephaistion who knew better than that. They started to make funny and unfamiliar noises again to eachother and he cocked his head trying to understand what they were saying.
They laughed wildly when one had snuck up from behind him. He turned ready but didn't attack when the smaller indian with a childs face was hovered over the horse staring and laughing at its wounds. One of the older Indian men nodded to the younger Indian and he ran off somewhere. Then they gathered closer but the general in defence mode swung his sword and they backed up. The alone man hissed again as a warning. They studied him awkwardly not interpreting well enough why he was hissing at them like an animal with aggression and instead of just killing him on the spot they found him unusual enough to capture instead.
The wild men attacked him in a group but found out he wasn't so easily overwhelmed. Especially being unaccompanied, the browned haired man ended up killing four of their men to their surprise, before the others stripped him of his sword and knocked him unconscious. Hephaistion fell to the ground, mud and grime covering his face and hair. The now angry Indians hunched over him slinging thick rope through their hands and began to tie up the handsome stranger.
'When my dreams are all done and over, and I can't see Phai anymore, who am I?'
Can I just say sorry to those who I told the chapters would come earlier, like Holiday earlier. Yes, it was the life excuse again. Also thanks Baobao, 13Annie and violetsuki for checking up on me. I appreciate it and apologies for not responding until now. Also thanks deadrose and fabercastel for your most recent reviews and S0phea I'm happy and very excited that you started to read this story. I hope you enjoy it and Lysis, I haven't forgot about your question. I promise it will be answered. -
Stranger