Cannonball Run 7: High Speed Heroes Chapter 16: Never get out of the car!, a cannonball run fanfic

CANNONBALL RUN 7: HIGH SPEED HEROES by Bkelly95 and the Turbo Man

CHAPTER 16: "Never get out of the car!"

DISCLAIMER: The usual. No profit is being made from this fic.

Rango sat at a table with the NUMA agents. "Now, after you come to the T-intersection," he said "you'll want to make a left. Keep going a kilometer or so and Big Donnie's place will be on your right. If you get there after four, be careful. That road is particularly busy around that time."

"What kind of security systems are we talking about?" asked Pitt.

"There's a couple of security cameras in front, one at each corner." said Rango. "That's not even taking into account the three meter tall fence surrounding the place. He's also got a small number of guards on duty at all times. If you have some way of getting past them, I'd love to hear it."

"I think we can take it from here." said Pitt. "Thank you for your help. Have your next drink on me."

Tanner drove down the street in Canberra.

"So the rescue operation was a success." said Tobias.

"Sure was." said Tanner. "Kind of makes you wish you were part of it, right?"

"You got that right." said Tobias.

They stopped at a light. A certain lime green Murcielago made a turn in front of them and drove away.

"Is that them?" asked Tanner.

"Yeah." said Tobias. "They shouldn't be out in public so soon."

Their light turned green. Tanner drove after them and pulled alongside.

Tobias rolled down his window. "Hey, Lara!" he said. "You shouldn't be out and about so soon! What if a cop sees you?"

The Lamborghini's window rolled down revealing the driver: Tobias Funke.

"Oh, I certainly hope so!" said Tobias F. "Then I will have done my job."

"What the..." said Tobias J.

Earlier, Lara's team and their rescuers had regrouped after losing the cops. They returned to the hangar and exited their cars.

"We have to get the Vulcano and get out of this country." said Lara.

"We already managed to get the Vulcano out of lock-up." said Dominic.

"I'll go check on it now." said Michael.

He walked over to where the Vulcano was parked and ran into Vince and Brian.

"Good job with the rescue." said Vince.

"Thanks." said Michael.

"Hey, wait 'til you see what we did with the Vulcano." said Brian.

"What did you do?" asked Dominic.

"Come see." said Brian.

He and Vince led the others to the Vulcano.

"Check it out." said Brian.

The Vulcano had been adorned with a wide-body kit, twin roof scoops, a hood with vents, carbon black IForged Evolution rims, a wide spoiler, tinted windows, and black metallic paint. The Cannonballers looked at it with a mix of surprise and impression.

"You tricked out the Vulcano?" asked Michael.

"We felt we had to." said Vince. "The police are looking for a lime green Murcie with stock rims, stock body, stock spoiler, stock hood. But we completely altered its appearance." He snapped his fingers and added "Bypass their sensors."

"That much is obvious." said Buster. "But when Lara sees this, she will blow a cow."

"What was that?" asked Lara as she and her teammates made their way to the Vulcano.

"Whoa." said Joanna.

"That's nice." said Nina.

"I wish we'd done that." said Anna.

"Body kit looks nice." said Lara. "So do the rims, spoiler, hood, and scoops. The window tint is a nice touch. I even like the color."

"Thank God. She likes it." said Brian.

"Come on, we gotta go." said Jordan.

"Not so fast."

Everyone looked to see Skeeter standing next to a lime green Murcielago that looked exactly like the Vulcano used to.

"When did you show up?" asked Lone Wolf.

"I got the call I may be needed here while you guys were breaking Lara out of jail. And just as well, as I was able to build something for you." said Skeeter. "This is a kit car designed to look like the Vulcano. Since Lara and her team will need to clear their names, this should keep the police off their backs for a while. It also has a few goodies to keep the cops from actually catching it."

"That's great, Skeeter." said Michael. "But who's going to drive it?"

"That would be me." said Tobias. "I've already got the suit and the wig. I think the duty will fall to me. Gentlemen, I will be...a decoy."

Everybody looked to each other questioningly. Tobias clasped his hands and giggled.

"I can help the rest of you out with slipping away." Charlene spoke up. "I've been racing the back roads around the Outback for years. I can lead you safely."

"That would be great!" Priss replied. "You're a real trooper."

"My pleasure." Charlene nodded as she went over to Lyle at his computer. "I can give you some details about the Prime Movers you can pass on to your mates. Those arseholes are bound to try and cause trouble."

"Okay. Just lay it on me and I'll send the deets out." Lyle nodded.

"Hey!" Sway called out as she looked at the monitor in the Cowboy. "We just got an email here."

"Who from?" asked Memphis.

"No idea. They say they're friends of the Cannonball and are offering us a place to lie low until tomorrow which they say is safe." the Sphinx informed him. "The co-ordinates are attached."

Lone Wolf and Hardtop came over and looked at the co-ordinates on the screen.

"That's in the Outback in the Southern Region." Hardtop announced. "It's about twenty miles north of Woomera."

Lone Wolf nodded. "From what I remember from two years ago, there was a friend of one of that year's Cannonball teams who had a farm in that area."

"There's no need for all of us to go." Nina spoke up. "Some of you guys can go on with the race and anyone who wants to can come with us."

"Are you sure about that invite? Could be a trap." warned Vince.

"We'll see." Lara stated coyly. "We'll be prepared."

She reached into the glovebox of the Vulcano, pulled out her twin pistols and cocked them.

"I've wondered if anyone has told you that you have a nice pair..." Tobias began

"Watch it!" warned the Williams sisters as they struck fighting stances.

"I was talking about the pistols!" Tobias protested.

"Sure." remarked Joanna as she raised an eyebrow.

Las Venturas...

"Well, folks, we've heard some good news at last from Australia." Lazlow said to the camera. "We have to keep the exact details on the down-low so that certain interested parties don't find out about if for now. All I can say is that hope is on the horizon."

"Meanwhile, to boost morale with an uplifting song, here are Bowling With Soup." Misty cheered as the band took the stage.

Jaret Reddick counted down from five with his fingers and the band began to play their ballad.

It's so hard to figure out,
Which way to turn.
There's no going back now.
All your bridges burned.

The stars are gonna shine on you,
If you can get through the day.
Storm clouds all around you,
But a blue sky's on the way.

And we're all just passengers tonight.
And we're all just traveling through our lives.
We will reach our destination.
So just hang on for the ride.
Say a prayer and close your eyes.
It's just a little turbulence.

Take a look around you.
Look how far you've come.
Your whole life in front of you.
You've only just begun.

We've all got our problems.
But they're just bumps in the road.
If you only keep on fighting (if you only keep on fighting),
There's no where you can't go.

This life can be so crazy.
Can spin out of control.
But I hope that all your dreams come true.

'Cause you know that you're amazing.
And no matter where you go.
I'll be there for you.
We can make it through.

And we're all just passengers tonight (it's just a little turbulence).
And we're all just traveling through our lives.
We will reach our destination (we will reach our destination ).
So just hang on for the ride (hang on for the ride).
Say a prayer and close your eyes (say a prayer and close your eyes).
It's just a little turbulence.

-"Turbulence" by Bowling For Soup.

The audience applauded.

"A slower song, but one we hope will provide a morale boost." Lazlow grinned as he gave a thumbs-up.

"So, once again, we wish our racers good luck with all that comes their way!" Misty smirked.

Canberra...

Back at the jail that Lara had been held in, the cops who had got their car wrecked tried to clean up their mess.

As they did so, the replica of the old Vulcano drove up at high speed. In the driver's seat, Tobias now wore a full-face racing helmet with some of his Lara wig sticking out the rear of it to add to the illusion.

He mockingly honked the horn and got the cops' attention.

The officers looked and were furious as they saw "Lara" give them the finger as "she" did a burnout and took off at well over 100 mph.

"Get the word out and get after that crazy bitch!" one cop yelled.

Tobias sped towards the freeway and laughed as he admired the kit car's speed.

"Oh, baby!" he gushed to the car. "Where were you when I was seventeen?"

The lights of several police cars appeared in the rear-view.

"Okay, honey! Let's lose 'em!" Tobias cheered as he raced off at a speed the cruisers had difficulty matching.

"Why am I doing this?" asked Doyle in his head office.

"Think of this as a publicity campaign." said his assistant.

"But I don't like dogs!" said Doyle as a Pekinese sat on his lap. "I have a congenial allergy. It's nothing personal."

"Australia loves dogs, Peter Doyle loves dogs." said the assistant. "Think of it as like American president Richard Nixon's Checker speech."

"Richard Nixon is my idol." said Doyle. "I like it."

"Okay, nice." said the assistant as a photographer started taking pictures. "That's good. Don't be afraid to let some of that Doyle warmth shine through."

"Chief!" yelled an officer as he ran into the office.

"What? What? What?" asked the assistant. "Can't you see we're busy here?"

"But it's Lara Croft's team!" said the officer. "It's all over the bloody telly! They're out and racing again!"

"I'll crush them!" yelled Doyle. "I'll pulverize them! I'll wipe them off the face of the map!" He pounded the desk with that last comment. "Right! No one messes with Peter Doyle!" The dog started barking.

"Shoot this." whispered the assistant. The photographer started taking more pictures.

"Let the word go out from this time and this place that the torch has been put to a new generation!" yelled Doyle. He barked with the dog and then growled.

"I've got goosebumps." said the assistant.

"Get in touch with the Charlie Sierra pursuit team!" Doyle ordered. "If anyone can stop Croft, it's those crafty buggers!"

"Yes, sir!" saluted the officer.

In the Road Lord, Spike looked over an email that had been sent by Lyle.

"According to this, the Prime Movers have a warehouse packed with cars about fifty miles outside Canberra." he reported. "The location is marked."

"Then, let's go!" Mason grinned as he put his foot down. They heard a horn behind them and saw the Black Knight and the Yellow Bird coming up behind them.

"We got that same message you guys did." Tommy Vercetti announced over the radio. "Need a hand?"

"I'm never one to pass up an offer of assistance." Mason remarked as he gave a thumbs-up into the rear-view.

Brodie drove the Falcon while he, Jay, and Silent Bob listened to the radio.

"Chief Doyle has asked that any people with information on the fugitives call..." said the news announcer.

"You know, I just thought of something." said Jay from the passenger seat. "Maybe we should call in and give them false information. That would divert attention away from Lara and her team and maybe stall them long enough for us to escape."

"That's not such a bad idea." said Brodie. "You guys should get on that right away."

"You got it." said Jay as he took out his cell phone. He started typing out a message.

"What are you doing?" asked Brodie.

"Texting him." said Jay. "I can't do an Australian accent for shit."

"I hope that works." said Brodie.

"Okay, now send." said Jay. He hit a button and looked confused. "It doesn't seem to be going through."

"What are you doing wrong?" asked Brodie.

"I'm not doing anything wrong!" yelled Jay. "I didn't want to save that! I wanted to send!"

He continued to fiddle with his cell phone and finally stopped.

"Got it!" he said.

Silent Bob leaned over the seat and looked at his screen. "I don't think it works that way." he said.

Doyle walked through his operations center with his assistant.

"Chief!" yelled his computer tech. "We've received a communique from the Cannonballers! It was sent right to our network!"

"That's great!" said Doyle.

"Come!" said the tech.

He led Doyle and his assistant to the computer terminal.

"It came in a few minutes ago." said the tech as he started typing. "We think it might be a coded message."

He finished typing and hit the Enter key. A video of Jay singing came up onscreen.

I got two strong arms, blessings of Babylon.
With time to carry on and try for sins and false alarms.

Doyle turned to the tech and glared at him.

"Should we be writing this down?" asked the assistant.

Doyle turned to his assistant and glared.

"I also found out that Darwin is the terminus of the Australian leg of the Cannonball." the tech hurriedly added.

"Then we'll set up a blockade there as a last resort." Doyle grinned.

"But, sir, won't Chief Pearce..." the assistant began.

"I DON'T CARE!" Doyle yelled. "That stuck-up cow has no business being a police chief anyway! It's high time I put her in her place! I show her how it's done on her own turf and hopefully the brass'll see their mistake and send her back to writing parking tickets where she belongs!"

"If you say so." the assistant sheepishly nodded.

"I DO say so!" Doyle growled.

Just then, the Justices and Roscoe entered the room.

"Are you Chief Doyle?" Buford asked.

"Who the hell are you?!" Doyle snapped as he rounded on the trio.

"We're the ones that Agent Banner sent." Roscoe sheepishly replied as the three of them were shocked by Doyle's temper.

"Oh, right." sneered Doyle. "From that useless Cannonball task force. SHIT, was it?"

"No, it was CRAP." Junior corrected.

"Not much of an improvement." Doyle growled.

"Now don't you talk to my son that way!" yelled Buford. "Only I can talk to him that way! Now you will listen and listen hard!"

"And who are you exactly?" snapped Doyle.

"I am the Sherriff of Portague County, the honorable Buford! T! Justice!"

"Justice?" asked Doyle. "You of any relation to that blighter of an actor who was caught rooting a woman he wasn't married to?"

"Are we, daddy?" asked Junior.

"Shut up, Junior." said Buford.

"Look, I have no time for jurisdictional bullshit." said Doyle. "You can go after the Cannonballers if you want, but just stay the frig out of my way! GOT IT?!"

"Yes, sir." Buford said quietly.

"Good. Now bugger off! I'm busy!" Doyle snapped as he waved his hand dismissively.

The Justices and Roscoe left the office and went outside to the Crusader.

"Typical manners for a land of convicts." Roscoe grumbled as he shook his head in disgust. "The Brits should never have taken the leg irons off."

A cargo plane flew over the Pacific on the way to Australia. Bullseye sat in the pilot seat.

In the cargo bay, April O'Neil stood looking over the vehicle she had been given to help out in Australia with admiration. It was a matte black Local Motors Rally Fighter which had a bull bar with extra headlights mounted to the front and a roll cage built into the cockpit.

"I take it that you like the Brawler, April?" asked Bullseye.

"You bet!" April grinned. "I'm sure gonna hand somebody their ass with this!"

"We hope that you do." Bullseye replied. "We should be near the LZ by morning. So, be prepared."

"Will do." April grinned.

As the Cannonball began to venture out of Canberra in the wake of Lara's liberation, Rock 'N Roll drove the Battle at high speed with Snake Eyes navigating as the other three Joes were resting in the back seat. As the pair of them were enjoying the ride, Garthe Knight came up behind them in the Sable at high speed. Looking suspicious, Rock 'N Roll sped up a bit more.

Garthe sped up as well and matched the Battle's speed as they both headed towards a set of traffic lights with several rows of other cars waiting in front of the two vehicles.

Snake Eyes signed to Rock 'N Roll to slow down and the machine gunner did so and came to a halt in a gap between two town cars and behind an SUV. Garthe had slowed down as well and had come to a halt right on the Battle's back bumper, once again in a gap between a few other vehicles.

The Battle and the Sable couldn't go anywhere until the lights changed. But Garthe was determined to still have some twisted fun with the Joe team.

Garthe grinned to himself and pressed the Sable's gas pedal a few times, revving the engine menacingly.

As the Joes impatiently waited for the lights to change and the traffic to move, Garthe inched the Sable forward and nudged the Battle's back bumper aggressively.

Rock 'N Roll kept his foot on the Battle's brake to keep them in place as Garthe inched forward and nudged them forward a few inches a couple more times.

When the light turned green and the vehicles in front and to the sides of them drove forward, Rock 'N Roll started moving. He swerved around the other vehicles and took off at high speed, causing a lot of the other traffic to slam on their brakes, wave their fists out their windows and honk their horns aggressively as the Battle and Sable swerved wildly and caused disruption as their chase continued.

As the traffic thinned out, Rock 'N Roll pushed the Battle hard, trying to put some distance between it and the Sable.

Garthe kept coming after them.

The cacophony of horns honking had roused Shipwreck, Stalker, and Clutch from their sleep and the three of them looked alarmed.

"What the bloody blue blazes is goin' on?!" demanded Shipwreck.

"Bad guys." Rock 'N Roll bluntly informed him.

As the Joes tried to get away, the Garnet and the Bianco came out of turn-offs to the left and right and got on each side of the Sable.

Rock 'N Roll activated his nitrous shot as Kegaleisa and Yogostein joined Garthe in their pusuit of the Joes.

"Hang on, fellas! This'll shake 'em!" Rock 'N Roll grunted as he made a quick turn to the right and drove down an unmarked dirt road. He had turned so fast that the three trucks overshot the turn and had to stop and reverse.

Yogostein grinned as that had been part of their plan. He picked up a walkie-talkie.

"Jupiter, the soldier boys you wanted to have fun with are on their way." Yogostein grinned. "You know what to do."

"You bet." Jupiter smirked as he, Pluto and Lizard stood hidden on a railway bridge overlooking the dirt road half a mile from the turn-off.

Jupiter watched the Battle heading towards the bridge through a pair of binoculars.

"We got 'em, boys!" he yelled to Pluto and Lizard as he put down the binoculars and joined his comrades.

The three of them hefted some heavy cinder blocks and threw them off the bridge just as the Battle approached below.

Rock 'N Roll swerved wildly to avoid being crushed and ended up going into the bush and rolling the Battle several times before it came to a rest on its wheels with the roof and bodywork severely dented.

The three mutants whooped with joy as they ran down an embankment from the rail bridge and got their weapons ready as they approached the now-unconscious Joes.

"We only need to grab one of these sons a'bitches to have fun with!" Jupiter smirked.

Pluto wrenched the passenger door open and pulled the groggy Snake Eyes out.

"Yeah! That action figure scumball should do!" Lizard laughed. "We'll soon find out how tough he is!"

As Lizard joined Pluto and forced Snake Eyes' hands behind his back, Pluto angrily hit the Joe ninja over the back of the head with his fist and knocked him out completely.

The mutants laughed in triumph.

Merv's FJ pulled up outside the warehouse the Prime Movers had fifty miles outside of Canberra. Mick, Wolfie, and Merv all climbed out of the car and approached a side door.

"All we have to do is call some of our mates and get them their rides and we can kick some Cannonballer arse!" Mick grinned as Merv went to unlock the door.

To his surprise, he found that the door was both unlocked and slightly ajar. The three Movers exchanged worried glances as they noticed. Merv spotted the remains of a lockpick kit discarded in the door jamb. Tensing, the Movers swung the door open and stepped inside. Wolfie flipped on a light switch just to the side of the door and the hoons found themselves faced with Tommy Vercetti, C.J, and Mason all pointing MP5s at them.

"About time you guys showed up." Tommy said in a mocking imitation of affability. "Now get 'em up!"

The Movers had no choice but to raise their hands above their heads.

"Okay, gentlemen. Do your thing." Mason called out.

In the main body of the warehouse, Max Rockatansky, the Wraith, and Claude approached the various cars that were stored in the warehouse for the Movers' use. Max wore a shotgun on each hip. The Wraith was armed with his special shotgun and Claude also had a shotgun in his hand as well as an AK-47 and an M16 velcroed to his waist.

Mick mouthed an obscenity under his breath and he and his friends watched the three Cannonballers shoot up the cars with their weapons, blowing out the engines and reducing the bodies to smoldering hulks. Max used both his shotguns and Claude switched to his two other guns after his own shotgun ran dry.

The Wraith didn't seem to need to reload. Within a few minutes, the back-up cars for the Movers were no more. As the group finished their handiwork, Max pressed a button on a walkie-talkie.

Mick, Wolfie, and Merv looked a bit confused by that. Then they heard the repeated sounds of a large vehicle crashing into a smaller vehicle.

"You might want to look outside, guys." C.J. grinned.

The three Movers ran outside to see Spike behind the wheel of a very large and heavy tow truck which he had repeatedly rammed Merv's FJ with and wrecked it as well.

Mick looked furious.

"Looks like the Prime Movers won't be moving very far for a while." smirked Spike as the other Cannonballers joined him outside and headed for their cars which had been parked out of sight.

"You'll get yours!" growled Wolfie.

"Sure, sure." Tommy dismissively remarked as he flipped the bird over his shoulder.

Stalker groaned as he regained consciousness. He saw that he and Shipwreck had been propped up at the side of a G.I. Joe VAMP.

Looking over them were Scarlett and Cover Girl. The ROCC was parked nearby and Stalker could see that Clutch and Rock 'N Roll were awake and had the Battle in the ROCC's cargo bay and making repairs.

Scarlett grinned at her team-mates.

"You guys are lucky we were keeping track of you." she remarked. "Now, when your heads have stopped spinning, we're going after Snake Eyes."

Stalker grinned himself. "Those subcutaneous trackers you and him have are still working?"

"Always." Scarlett seriously replied.

"So, let's mount up!" Cover Girl ordered as she took the driver's seat of the VAMP.

"About time!" grumbled Cobra Commander from the Aquila as Stalker saw it and the Destroyer along with their rescuers.

Stalker got ready to reach for his gun.

"Easy! They're on our side this time!" Scarlett placated him.

"Why?" spluttered Shipwreck.

"Professional pride." Destro stated. "Nobody harms G.I. Joe but us."

"Thanks...I think." Shipwreck groaned.

"At least that stopped that little power struggle you guys had back in South America." Stalker sighed.

"Okay. Now let's go!" snapped the Baroness.

The Vulcano, Streetfighter, Utopia, Ambitious, Cowboy, Terrific, and Emmylou drove along a dirt road leading to a farmhouse which was where the GPS co-ordinates had led them.

The group saw a massive Euclid off-road dump truck parked near the house. A triangular panel with spikes had been mounted to the front with a smaller spiked panel just above it. Armored panels enclosed the cab and spikes stuck out of the bed. Its rear bumper featured a bumper sticker reading "How's my driving? Dial 1-800-BITE-ME".

As the vehicles pulled up, two Caucasian men wearing utility jumpsuits stepped out onto the porch. Lara smiled as she recognized them. The guy in the red jumpsuit was called Joel Robinson and the guy in the green jumpsuit was called Mike Nelson.

Mike and his robot friends Tom Servo, Crow T. Robot, and Gypsy had taken part in the Cannonball two years previously. She had heard that after the race had ended, Mike and the 'bots had moved in with Joel who had been Mike's predecessor in the bad movie experiment on the Satellite of Love before he pulled off his escape.

Priss climbed off the Streetfighter and everybody else got out of their vehicles.

"Hi, Joel. Hey, Mike." Lara greeted.

"I see you got our message." Joel replied.

Charlene whistled as she looked at the dump truck.

"That's a right ripper of a truck you have there." she grinned.

"I'm sure that he..." Mike began.

"Hush, Mike. You don't speak for Megaweapon." Joel shushed him.

"That's right. Thanks for the compliment, lady." a resonant but strangely mellow voice added.

Charlene looked stunned as she heard that the voice had come from the truck itself.

"Megaweapon." Venom thought to himself. "That's the truck from that 'Mad Max' knock-off with the 'Paper Chase' guy you riffed once, right?"

"That's right." Joel nodded. "He came to live with us just over a year ago."

"That's very good." Charlie nodded. "I have a feeling we may need him."

"Just remember that that lousy movie didn't show that I'm indestructible." Megaweapon stated smugly. "No lamer can take me out easy. I won't let you down if you do need me."

"So where are your robot friends then?" Stella inquired.

"Inside riffing on some lousy ghost movie from the '80's." Mike replied. "It's based on some urban legend about a supernatural street racer. Cool concept, but I wish they'd actually made a GOOD movie out of it."

Joel waved for the group to come into the house. As they did, they saw Crow and Servo sitting on the couch in front of the TV watching "The Wraith" and riffing on it.

"Hey there, guys!" Crow cheered as he looked over his shoulder. "Glad to see you made it."

"Care to join us in ripping this lousy movie a new one?" Tom added.

"Sure, why not? We may be a while anyway. Might as well have some fun." Lyle grinned as he took a seat between the two 'bots. The scene in the movie was currently the race between the Wraith's Turbo Interceptor and Oggie's Daytona.

Oggie raced around the corner.

"Well, I'm sure I'll see..." said Crow.

The Turbo Interceptor appeared parked across the road.

"Whoa!" yelled Crow.

Oggie rammed into the Turbo Interceptor which exploded.

"Under the custom bodywork, it's a Pinto." said Tom.

Oggie went off the cliff and his car tumbled down the hill.

"I hope he had his seatbelt on." said Lyle.

Oggie's car exploded.

"Uh, tell the emergency crew to bring extra marshmallows." said Crow.

"Oddly, he was killed by his airbag." said Tom.

The Turbo Interceptor suddenly reformed and raced off.

"Oh, he had Triple A." riffed Lyle.

Michael Bluth looked a bit surprised. "I think there's a guy in this year's Cannonball whose car can reform like that." he remarked.

Gypsy stuck her head out of the kitchen.

"Hey, guys. Anyone want some sesame noodles?" she asked.

"Might as well." shrugged the Drake.

"Coming right up." beamed Gypsy.

"I hope Tobias is doing okay." Buster worried.

"If he hasn't drawn all the cops to him by now, I'd be surprised." replied Michael

The fake Vulcano had been sighted driving on a roadway heading into the Blue Mountains. Doyle had arrived on the scene and took a report from a junior officer.

"You say that there's a member of the CS team in pursuit now?" Doyle asked.

"Yes, sir. It's Double T." the officer reported.

Doyle sighed at that.

"Let me guess. Trenchard took off in that Cobra of hers without calling for back-up?" he growled.

"You know her so well." the officer nodded.

Ten miles up the road...

Still wearing his disguise, Tobias sped the faux Murcielago along the winding mountain road. Hot on his trail was a 1978 Ford XC Falcon Cobra with its standard blue-on-white livery. However, this car belonged to a member of Chief Doyle's special Charlie Sierra pursuit team.

Said member was an intense-looking black-haired female plainclothes sergeant by the name of Tessa Trenchard, known as Double T to most of her colleagues.

She had failed to see through Tobias' disguise, but was determined to catch "Lara Croft" and make her pay.

"Trenchard, come in!" Doyle's voice came in over her radio.

"Yeah, boss?" she answered.

"What's your status?" Doyle asked.

"No worries! They'll have to scrape this pommie bitch off the road with a spatula when I'm done with her!" Trenchard laughed in a worrying way.

As the Cobra and the kit car both made a sharp turn to the right on a hairpin, both vehicles' front ends skidded a bit, but they stayed on the road.

Trenchard got on Tobias' right side and bumped the side of the kit car, trying to force it off the road into the bush.

An RV approached from the opposite direction and Trenchard swerved out of the right-hand lane to avoid a crash. As she did, she went slightly off the road into a picnic area by the side of another sharp turn.

Tobias gained a bit of ground on her as she got back on the road and back in pursuit.

Trenchard pushed her Cobra for all it was worth and caught up.

Once again, she got on Tobias' right hand side and sideswiped him once again.

The kit car did get pushed off the road and into some bush terrain by the side of the road.

Tobias kept his foot down and handled the terrain very well.

He was able to get back on the road and got ahead of Trenchard once again.

As Double T upshifted and tried to catch up, Tobias sped towards a dead end in the road leading to some fenced-off trails through the bush.

He hung a 180 and sped back the way he came.

As Double T's Cobra crested a rise in the road, she panicked when she saw "Lara" heading right for her and swerved out of the way and hit a fence with an electric pole side on.

She nervously looked up as a cable on the pole was knocked a bit loose and sparked a bit. Thankfully, it didn't fall.

"Lara" honked the horn of the "Vulcano" mockingly and turned towards one of the off-road trails through the mountains.

With the flick of a switch, the tires of the kit car inflated to off-road size and the "Vulcano" drove off.

Double T glared after "Lara" and picked up her radio.

"I'll regroup with you guys." she growled. "But that floozy is gonna die when I catch up with her!"

Mick, Wolfie, and Merv stood impatiently at the side of the highway not far from their trashed warehouse.

"Ya really think Death Metal'll show up?" asked Wolfie.

"He bloody better!" Mick snapped. "God knows he owes me enough favors."

After a few seconds the trio heard the roar of a diesel engine, the honk of a truck horn, and the sound of the Anthrax song "Fueled" playing over an expensive stereo system.

"Speak of the devil." Mick grinned as they turned around.

"No shit." grumbled Merv as he took in the sight of the long-nosed Peterbilt semi truck with no trailer approaching them.

The truck's hood, grille, and front bumper had been adorned with silver chains criss-crossing them and the chains had silver ornamental skulls hanging from them in various clusters.

"Relax. Ya know he likes to play up the act a bit." Wolfie counselled Merv.

The truck pulled to a stop. In the driver's seat was a driver wearing the Prime Movers' colors along with a Slayer baseball cap and aviator shades. He was a member of the gang who was known as Death Metal due to his taste in music and stylistic choices. He made extra money as a long-haul driver and had been employed before to help Mick out with troublesome situations.

"G'day, mate!" Death Metal cheered at Mick. "Need help with the Cannonballers?"

"Sure do." Mick called up. "We need a ride as well, so can you moderate your play list a bit?"

"I have!" Death Metal protested as he pointed to his CD player. "Ya know I've listened to heavier stuff than this."

"So, you're listening to elevator music for headbangers right now?" Wolfie joked.

"Okay, cut the crap!" Mick warned as Death Metal opened the passenger door for the trio. "Let's go."

In Newcastle, New South Wales, the Peligro had stopped at an Up-n-Atom burger joint. Team Rocket sat in their car eating their food.

Jessie snorted through her nose.

"So who cares if that Indiana Jones wannabe Croft and her bimbo brigade broke out of jail?" she groused. "There's nothing to it! We break out of jail all the time."

"Did it occur to you to try a bit harder not to get caught?" Giovanni sarcastically inquired.

"Well, maybe if you bailed us out once in a while like you always do for Cassidy the Creep and her boy toy Buzz!" James grumbled.

"It's Butch!" Giovanni snapped.

"You must have got his name wrong sometimes yourself, boss." Meowth piped up.

"Look, can we hurry up and finish eating?" Giovanni asked. "I'm trying not to gag at watching Jessie eat that burger."

"I'm not eating messily, am I?" Jessie protested.

"No. But seriously, mayo and thousand island dressing on a burger?" Giovanni squirmed in disgust.

"It's a choice Up-n-Atom offers for the Triple Burger. Why wouldn't I take advantage of it?" Jessie shrugged.

"She has unusual tastes, sir." James explained. "She likes to put baked beans on pizza as well."

Giovanni turned pale.

"And last year, when we visited that Jamaican place in Liberty City, she enjoyed the curried goat." Meowth chipped in

Giovanni heaved a bit, but kept it in.

"If you two make me hurl, you're gonna clean it up!" he warned.

"Yes, sir." James and Meowth muttered.

Bullseye landed the cargo plane at a private air strip about fifty miles south of Alice Springs.

"This is as far as we can get without arousing suspicion, April." he remarked as he lowered the cargo ramp. "You have the location of Big Donnie's house on your GPS. Team NUMA and Team Angels are heading there right now as well. Maybe you can help each other out."

"I'll try and be of aid to those guys." April announced as she drove the Brawler out onto the runway.

"But use a bit of subtlety." Bullseye warned. "Are you listening to that word? Sub-tle-ty."

"Again, I'll do my best." April grinned.

As night began to fall, the Joes and Cobras raced along a highway in the Hunter Valley, following the signal Scarlett received from Snake Eyes' transmitter.

They eventually spotted the Brickade driving fast up ahead of them.

"He's in that truck!" Scarlett yelled.

"Then let's give 'em holy hell!" Stalker agreed.

In the trailer of the truck were the Yuma Flats mutants along with the Pollution Ministers and Garthe Knight. Snake Eyes lay on the floor with his hands cuffed behind his back and appearing to be unconscious.

"Don't you want to have your fun with him?" Garthe asked Jupiter.

"We want him awake for it." Jupiter sadistically grinned. "He has to feel every bit of what we're gonna do to him!"

Lidell was up driving the Brickade this time. He took a quick glance in the mirror and saw their pursuers catching up to them.

He activated a mic built into the cab which fed into the trailer..

"We've got company comin' fast, guys!" he warned. "I think they're gonna try and take ninja boy back!"

"Battle stations!" yelled Yogostein as most of the group grabbed Uzis. Garthe went over to a computer terminal with a joystick which had been set up in one of the corners.

Wes Mantooth's news chopper was above the pursuit.

"It seems that there's never a dull day with the Cannonballers." he reported. "It looks like the Joes and Cobras face a tough battle even if they've joined forces for this one."

"Then, we'll give 'em some fighting music!" Ron announced from Race Central as Jimmy Eat World took the stage again.

"And here we go!" yelled Jim Adkins as the band started playing.

Most of the bad guys in the Brickade opened panels on both sides of the trailer and began shooting at the VAMP and the Destroyer as they saw an opening on the right hand side and moved up the side of the Brickade. Stalker and Shipwreck fired shots from their rifles as Scarlett fired the .50 cal machine gun on the VAMP's rear. Destro fired a couple of his wrist rockets to knock the Brickade off balance as both vehicles got in front of it.

As Jim began singing, both vehicles did handbrake turns and faced the front of the Brickade whilst driving in reverse.

We're not gonna be just a part of their game.
We're not gonna be just the victims.
They're taking our dreams and they tear them apart.
'Til everyone's the same.

Garthe pressed a key on the computer station and the push bar on the front of the Brickade lowered and the grille split to reveal a circular rocket launcher. Using the joystick and the display on the computer, Garthe fired some rockets at the VAMP and the Destroyer.

I've got no place to go.
I've got nowhere to run.
They'd love to watch me fall.
They think they know it all.

Cover Girl and the Baroness quickly maneuvered their vehicles to avoid the rockets which impacted on the road. Scarlett, Stalker, Shipwreck, and Destro fired shots from their guns which shot some of the rockets out of the air before they could hit. Destro lobbed a couple more wrist rockets at the rocket launcher and put it out of commission.

"SHIT!" yelled Garthe as his display screen went black.

I'm a nightmare, a disaster.
That's what they always said.
I'm a lost cause, not a hero.
But I'll make it on my own.

I've gotta prove them wrong.
Me against the world.

Lidell swerved the Brickade a bit from side to side in an attempt to keep the Aquila from passing them as well, but Storm Shadow steered the car into the bush and got on its left side as Cobra Commander and Zartan fired shots from their guns into the side of the trailer.

"ASSHOLES!" yelled Jupiter as he, Lizard, and Kitaneideas returned fire through the gun panels on the left.

It's me against the world.

As Pluto stood guard over Snake Eyes with his back to him, he failed to notice the Joe ninja slowly get to his feet and move his cuffed hands over his head so that they were now in front of him. Snake Eyes quickly lifted his arms over Pluto's head and wrapped the chain of the cuffs around Pluto's neck, putting him in a chokehold.

We won't let them change how we feel in our hearts.
We're not gonna let them control us.
We won't let them shove all their thoughts in our heads.
And we'll never be like them.

Pluto let out a cry of alarm which alerted the others who now turned their attention to Snake Eyes.

They aimed their guns at the two of them but held fire for fear of hitting Pluto.

Garthe ran over from where he was and aimed a karate kick at Snake Eyes. Snake Eyes gave a back kick and knocked Garthe back into the corner.

Kegaleisa rushed forward and Snake Eyes gave a kick to her mid-section, causing her to fire her gun into the ceiling by accident.

I've got no place to go.
I've got nowhere to run.
They'd love to watch me fall.
They think they know it all.

Pluto managed to wriggle out of Snake Eyes' grip and now he and Lizard attacked the Joe ninja with their fists. He was more than able to fight both of them off with punches and kicks despite his bound hands.

Pluto was eventually able to grab him by the waist and slam him several times into the panel separating the trailer from the cockpit.

I'm a nightmare, a disaster.
That's what they always said.
I'm a lost cause, not a hero.
But I'll make it on my own.

Snake Eyes absorbed the hits as he sunk down and grabbed Pluto by his own mid-section. He lifted the large mutant up and slammed him into the ceiling of the trailer, putting him down for the count.

I've gotta prove them wrong.
It's me against the world.

Jupiter ran at Snake Eyes armed with a stun baton. Snake Eyes grabbed his arms and kept the stunner just inches away from him as Jupiter tried to push forward. Lizard grabbed Snake Eyes from behind and tried to force him into the stunner. Snake Eyes quickly moved his hands and caused Jupiter to accidentally jab Lizard with the stunner and shock him into unconsciousness.

Me against the world.

Snake Eyes then twisted Jupiter's arm and arced it so that the baton was turned the other way. Snake Eyes was able to jam it into Jupiter's neck and incapacitate him.

Yogostein and Kegaleisa tried to double team Snake Eyes and forced him into a corner. Yogostein brought up his gun. Snake Eyes surreptitiously slipped the stunner up and shocked Yogostein with it, causing him to fire his gun through the panel and into the cockpit, narrowly missing Lidell.

Now I'm sick of this waiting.
So come on and take your shot.
You can spit all your insults.
But nothing you say's gonna change us.

"What in the hell are you doing?" Lidell yelled in shock.

Yogostein and Kegaleisa continued to struggle with Snake Eyes. As they fought, Snake Eyes knocked Kegaleisa away with a spinning kick and he grabbed a tear gas grenade that she had on her belt as she went flying.

You can sit there and judge me.
Say what you want to.
We'll never let you win.

As Yogostein tried to shoot Snake Eyes in the face, Snake Eyes pulled the pin on the grenade and threw it at him, crouching down as he did so.

The villains in the Brickade began to cough and splutter as the tear gas began to fill the trailer.

Lidell coughed as well as some of the gas made it into the cockpit from the holes made by the gunfire.

I'm a nightmare, a disaster.
That's what they always said.
I'm a lost cause, not a hero.
But I'll make it on my own.

Me against the world.

As Lidell began to lose control of the Brickade, he began to swerve from side to side. Snake Eyes made his way towards the rear of the trailer and grabbed a gun off Kitaneidas' belt.

He shot the lock off the door on the rear of the trailer and kicked it open.

The other Joes and the Cobras had fallen back to the rear of the Brickade and saw Snake Eyes open the door.

Cover Girl kept the VAMP steady as Snake Eyes made his jump from the truck onto the front of the VAMP. Scarlett grabbed his arms and pulled him onto the rear of the VAMP.

I'm a nightmare, a disaster.
That's what they always said.
I'm a lost cause, not a hero.
But I'll make it on my own.

Lidell lost control of the Brickade altogether and it pitched over onto its side and went through the barrier at the left side of the highway.

The armored truck slid down an embankment and rolled over a few times before coming to a halt.

I've gotta prove them wrong.
They'll never bring us down.
We'll never fall in line.
I'll make it on my own.

Me against the world.

-"Me Against The World" by Simple Plan.

"Should we check 'em out?" asked Stalker, referring to the incapacitated bad guys.

"You can if you want!" scoffed Cobra Commander. "You got your precious ninja back, so our alliance is now concluded. We have a race to win!"

The Aquila and the Destroyer sped off as Scarlett used a pair of bolt cutters to snap the chain on Snake Eyes' cuffs.

"Why am I not surprised that's how they would act?" Cover Girl groaned as she rolled her eyes.

"Screw 'em!" Shipwreck snorted. "Let's catch up with the ROCC and see if we can get back in this race too!"

Snake Eyes gave a thumbs-up to show that he agreed.

Pitt parked behind a wall separating the road from Big Donnie's house. He, Giordino, and Gunn climbed out.

"So, this is Big Donnie's pad." said Gunn. "Doesn't look like he's really hiding the source of his income."

"Did Rango leave a note about the best way in?" asked Giordino.

"Yeah, and I marked it on the map." said Pitt.

Pitt checked the map.

"Wait." whispered Giordino. "Do you hear that?"

They slowly turned around and looked over their shoulders. "Hide." said Pitt.

"Don't worry." said Dylan. "It's just us."

"What are you doing here?" asked Gunn.

"We came to help you out." said Natalie. "Anything that proves a connection between Big Donnie and Chief Doyle helps us all, right?"

"Yes, you're right." said Pitt. "But if there are too many people in Big Donnie's house, it could attract too much attention."

"Dirk, my man." said Giordino. "I'm sure that if we were to split up, we can find the evidence that much faster. And we can probably leave someone at the entry point to stand guard or act as backup."

"See?" asked Alex. "Al gets it. Let's get going."

"Well, that's probably going to convince them this is not a good idea." said Gunn.

"Just another of my many charms." said Giordino.

Minutes later, they made their way out of a grate on Big Donnie's property.

"I'd rather not do that again." said Natalie.

"I'd rather not know how Rango knew about that." said Pitt.

"Where to next?" asked Dylan.

"There's supposed to be a door that's not watched by the guards." said Pitt. "It should be right...there."

"Okay, now who's going to stand guard?" asked 99.

"I will." said Gunn.

"I'll help him." said Alex.

"Same here." said Dylan.

"I guess the rest of us are going in." said Giordino.

"Alright." said Pitt. He, Giordino, Natalie, and 99 laid their hands on top of each other. "Let's go."

They snuck into Big Donnie's house and made their way down the hall. They spotted a pair of guards and ducked into a side room.

The guards walked past and the group continued on their way.

"Where's the study?" whispered 99.

"Two doors left from the top of the stairs." said Pitt.

"Guards." whispered Natalie.

They stepped back and let the guards walk by, then snuck over to the stairs.

After climbing the stairs, the lock on the door to the study clattered a little. Seconds later, 99 opened the door and they stepped inside.

"Nice to see my lockpicking skills are still good." she said.

"Good job, Earnestine." said Natalie.

"Thanks." said 99. "You know, this is the first time this journey that you called me Earnestine."

Pitt and Giordino looked at them curiously.

"I wish it were my name." said 99.

"What are we looking for?" asked Giordino.

"This." said Pitt. He walked over and picked up the artifact.

"That's what you came for?" asked Natalie as she turned on the computer. "That ugly thing?"

"I'll have you know that Captain Leigh Hunt gave his life for this ugly thing." said Giordino.

"Can you get into this thing?" asked 99.

"Hold on." said Natalie. She took a slip of paper and wrote on it.

"What are you writing?" asked Giordino.

"The password." said Natalie. "In case I have to get into this again, I don't want to go through the whole process."

She stuck the note on the arm of the chair and continued hacking.

"Let's see what you've got." said 99.

Outside...

"So, you're second in command at NUMA." said Dylan.

"I am." said Gunn. "I answer directly to Admiral Sandecker."

"Do you go on these expeditions frequently?" asked Alex.

"Not really." said Gunn.

The dog walked over to them.

"What's this?" asked Alex.

"Rango didn't say anything about guard dogs." said Gunn.

"I don't think this is one." said Dylan. "Cattle dogs aren't well known for guard duties."

The dog jumped up and forced Gunn against the wall. She started barking.

"Heel." said Alex. "Hush. Sit. Stay."

"I don't think she understands you." said Dylan.

"Well, I'm trying." said Alex. She spotted a stick and picked it up. "See this?" she said. "Go get it."

She threw the stick and the dog ran after it.

"I guess the simple plans still work." said Gunn.

He turned around to find Alex P. looking at them. "G'day." he said.

A pair of guards grabbed Alex M. and Gunn. Alex P. grabbed Dylan.

"Do you really think we came alone?" asked Dylan. "Release us now and our friends won't hurt you."

Rocco dragged Natalie and Giordino through the door by their collars. "We caught these two blighters poking around upstairs." he said. "The guards have their friends as well."

"Come on." said Alex P. He, Rocco, and the guards dragged them inside.

"Nice work, secret agent." said Alex M.

"Look who's talking." said 99. "You should be running with Sherlock Holmes."

They arrived in the living room to find Pitt and Natalie with the guards training guns on them. Alex P. walked in front of them.

"Well, well, well." said Alex P. "Cannonballers sneaking into Big Donnie's house. What are we going to do with you?"

"Maybe let us go and avoid an international incident?" said Gunn.

Alex P. walked over and slapped him.

"I thought it was worth a shot." said Gunn.

"Any other suggestions?" asked Alex P.

"Wait, I just thought of something." said Rocco.

"Wow, that's amazing." said Giordino.

"Big Donnie has a hand in underground fighting." said Rocco. "He's even brought me to a couple of matches. There were a lot of excellent fighters."

"So you want to see how the prisoners stack up?" asked Alex P.

"Oh, you bet I do." said Rocco.

"I have to make a few phone calls." said Alex P. "Don't go away."

Jessie drove the Peligro at high speed out of Newcastle. She hummed along to the instrumental song "Jessica" by the Allman Brothers Band as it played on the radio.

"Figures you'd enjoy this song." moaned James. "And don't tell us it's because you're a fan of 'Top Gear' as we know that's not the case."

"Shhh!" Jessie angrily hissed as she indicated she was listening to the song.

Behind them, the Crusader appeared with Roscoe driving and seeing the Rockets ahead of them.

"Some Cannonballers for sure!" he grinned. "Now they're in trouble. Gew, gew, gew!"

Roscoe selected rapid fire on the beanbag gun and fired a few shots at the Peligro's rear.

Jessie noticed the attack as some minor damage was done to the rear of the car and sped up, still enjoying the song despite the danger she was facing.

Roscoe sped the Crusader up as well and began to catch up.

"Uh, Roscoe? I don't think this truck was meant to do 120 mph." Junior warned.

"It's doing it! Gew, gew, gew!" Roscoe chuckled as he got on the Peligro's right side and sideswiped it to try and knock it off the road.

Jessie growled and swiped the Crusader back.

It went back and forth between the two vehicles for about half a mile before the Peligro reached top speed on a straightaway and Jessie hit the nitrous.

As they left the Crusader in the dust, Giovanni pointed out a warning for road works up ahead.

"No sweat!" Jessie grinned as she hit a mound of dirt on the left side and used it to put the Peligro up on its right wheels.

She steered the car with no trouble through the available gaps where a group of earth movers resurfaced the road.

She was able to get safely out the other end and set the Peligro down on all four wheels again.

She chortled to herself and the Rockets were on their way.

Roscoe had seen what Jessie had done and tried to repeat the move as they approached the construction zone. He didn't get the balance right as he tried to put the Crusader up on its right side and he ended up losing control.

The Crusader wobbled as it came back down onto all four wheels and the truck ended up glancing off several of the earth movers like a pinball and got more and more damaged. By the time the CRAP team came out the other side, the doors had fallen off, the hood had caved in a bit, and the bed had gotten bent out of shape.

"I really don't like this country." Buford snapped as he hit his hat off the dashboard.

At Big Donnie's house, Alex Munday, 99, Natalie, Giordino, and Gunn stood with their hands tied behind their backs on a balcony overlooking the foyer. Two armed henchmen stood guard on either side of them. Pitt and Dylan stood in the foyer while Alex Purcell stood in front of them wearing a robe with assorted pieces of garbage attached. He also held a microphone.

Several more of Big Donnie's goons stood in attendance in the foyer, and a large black tarp had been laid out like a martial arts practice mat. Dylan and Pitt stood on it.

"Welllllcome!" said Alex P like he was announcing a rock concert. "This is a little something we call...the Royal Rumble. A fight to the finish between our distinguished guests! And you all know the rules...because there aren't any!"

"Ah, krikey!" said Rocco. He marched over to Alex. "Give me that mic! Are you charged or something?" He took the microphone and said "And take that crap off. You look like a blinkin' nong."

"I thought showmanship was supposed to be part of it!" groused Alex P.

"Rack off out of it!" Rocco snapped.

He held up the microphone and addressed the captive Cannonballers and other goons.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is in fact a fight against some of Big Donnie's best underground fighters. The rules are simple. The last man or woman standing is the winner. The fight doesn't end until your opponent is either knocked out of the ring, knocked unconscious or submits."

"Just like the Kumite." asked Pitt.

"No, because this is real." Rocco sneered. "So, it's gonna be girl vs. girl and guy vs. guy. Ms. Sanders goes first."

The door to the "green room" opened and Dylan's opponent came out and stepped into the "ring". She was a tough-looking girl with brown hair cut into a buzzcut wearing black leather pants, a black tank top and a brown, sleeveless motorcycle jacket.

"First up: Dylan Sanders vs. Vicious Vicky." Alex P. announced.

As Vicky tried to stare Dylan down, Dylan simply crouched into a fighting stance.

Rocco raised his hands, and after a few seconds threw them down to signal that the fight had begun.

The assembled thugs began to whoop and cheer as Dylan and Vicky approached each other.

Vicky ran to hit Dylan with a clothesline from the front. Dylan was able to duck and avoid it as Vicky tried to recover.

As Vicky backpedalled and turned around, Dylan hit her in the front with a clothesline.

Vicky staggered but didn't fall. Dylan then grabbed her by the waist, lifted her up, and gave her a backbreaker on her left knee.

Vicky yelled in pain and tried to regain her footing.

But then, Dylan picked her up from behind and threw her into the air.

Vicky sailed about ten feet before landing on the floor and sliding along it.

"Ring out!" Rocco yelled. "First victory goes to Dylan Sanders."

The other Cannonballers cheered but the other henchmen jeered and gave two thumbs down in anger.

At the rear of Big Donnie's house, April had parked the Brawler out of sight and crept up to the walled back garden of the house.

She took a quick look over the wall and saw two guards standing outside having a smoke break.

"Typical of those bloody idiots wasting time with the Cannonballers like that." the dark-haired guard mumbled.

"Yeah, they're lucky the boss won't be back until tomorrow." the bald guard added. "He'd rip 'em a new one."

Seeing that the back gate was open, April crept towards it. She got the impression that the two guards would easily be fooled. She put one hand behind her back to check that the pair of nunchucks she had attached to her belt were still there.

Finding that they were, she smirked and stepped slowly through the gate into the back garden.

"Hey, guys." she said sweetly to the guards. "Is this where the party is?"

Both guards regarded April lecherously.

"Main course and dessert." the bald guy said. "And my favorite kind too. Female."

"Oh, you." April grinned as she struck a mock-bashful pose.

"I think it's time for us to have some fun." the bald guy continued.

"Hold it, mate." the dark-haired guy cautioned. "This could be a trick."

"What's the matter, boys?" April cooed as she lowered her hand to the zipper of her jumpsuit. She pulled the tab down slowly until it was just below her bust line. She then cocked her hips and pushed her breasts forward.

"You get a girl all hot and horny and then change your mind?" she continued. "Oh, well. Your loss."

She backed slowly out of the back garden.

The two guards grinned and followed her.

As she stepped to the side of the gate entrance, April got ready to attack.

As the bald guy stepped out first, she gave a front sweep to his right leg and knocked him to the ground.

As the other guy stepped out, April raised her leg and kicked him in the solar plexus, sending him down.

As both guards were on the ground, April took the nunchucks off her belt and whacked both guards in the face and chest with them several times.

After a few hard hits, both guards were out for the count.

April snorted through her nose as she zipped her suit up again.

"Just the way I like hired goons." she smirked. "Dumb and ugly."

She took a couple of zip ties out of one of her pockets and restrained the guards with them.

Garthe Knight stood angrily at the side of the wrecked Brickade and kicked one of the wheels as most of the bad guys who had been in the vehicle cursed their bad luck.

"Where are those three freaks anyway?" he demanded, referring to the Yuma Flats mutants who seemed to have disappeared.

"They left this note." Lidell informed him as he passed him a hand-written note.

It read: We're returning to the States. Yuma Flats is a cake walk compared to the shit we've had to deal with here. Sincerely, J, L, and P.

"Pussies." grumbled Kitaneidas.

"I'd like to see you call them that to their faces." warned Kegaleisa

Five miles away...

Jupiter, Lizard, and Pluto stood by the side of the highway. Lizard and Pluto had their thumbs out whilst Jupiter held a sign which said "Anywhere but here".

A road train drove right past them, kicking up dust as it did so. The mutants growled as they dusted themselves down.

"That's the fifth asshole who's left us here!" Lizard snapped. "Do we look funny or something?!"

Pluto laughed a little, causing Lizard to punch him round the back of the head.

Jupiter reached into his coat and took out a Ruger Redhawk.

"I'll just shoot us a ride the next time." he grinned evilly.

In the foyer of Big Donnie's house, it was now Pitt's turn to fight.

His opponent was a Maori man from New Zealand with heavy tribal tattoos on his chest, arms and face wearing a white muscle shirt and blue jeans. He had been introduced as the Maori Mauler.

As Rocco dropped his hands to signal the start of the fight, one of the henchmen handed the Maori a metal folding chair.

He let out a wild roar and ran at Pitt to try and hit him with it. Pitt dodged and the Mauler accidentally hit one of the "audience" henchmen with the chair, knocking him out.

The captive Cannonballers cheered once again as the other "audience" henchmen jeered in contempt.

The Mauler recovered and gave a spinning kick in the air to Pitt's mid-section. Pitt was staggered but got to his feet again. The Mauler went to swing in with a clothesline, but Pitt kicked him in the crotch as he came and the Mauler fell to the ground.

Pitt grabbed the Mauler from behind and applied the crippler crossface submission move. The Mauler tried to break out of it, but Pitt endured.

The Mauler eventually roared in pain and tapped out. Alex P. and Rocco started to look concerned.

Another goon stood guard outside Big Donnie's study. He thought he heard a rustle. As he got ready to investigate, he felt a sting in the side of his neck and slowly slumped to the floor as he lost consciousness.

April came down the hall and put the blowpipe she had back in her pocket.

"Be grateful it's just a sedative." she whispered to the unconscious guard as she took his gun and slipped into the study, locking the door behind her.

She headed over to the desk which had the computer on it. She booted the computer up and saw that it was password protected as it activated.

"Shit." she grumbled to herself. She casually glanced to the right and noticed a small piece of paper attached to the right arm of the swivel chair at the desk. She looked at it and saw that it read 'elJ3f3Grand3no1247365'.

"Could it be?" she thought to herself.

She sat in the chair and entered what was written on the paper in the password box onscreen. The computer accepted the password and she was in.

"Must have a memory like Tommy Wiseau." April mused to herself.

After a few minutes of searching, she found the files she was looking for and took two flash drives out of her left breast pocket.

"Lay it on me, baby." she cheered quietly as she inserted the first flash drive and began to copy the files.

On the highway to Brisbane, the Ecureil passed the Primus as Dice drove.

"So much for that." he smirked. Savo was engrossed with a square black electronic box that he had been tinkering with in the back seat.

"What is that thing?" Parfait asked.

"A signal jammer of my own manufacture." Savo replied. "It just took a while to work the bugs out. It could be of use in the future."

"We didn't need any damn gizmos to get ahead in this race." Dice teased Savo.

"Watch it, asswipe." Savo warned. "You'll be eating those words if this 'gizmo' saves our hides down the line."

"We'll see." Dice replied.

In the foyer of Big Donnie's house, both Pitt and Dylan now fought a two-person mixed gender team.

It was a blond-haired brother and sister wearing martial arts gi uniforms who had been introduced as Nate and Kate, collectively known as Double Trouble.

Pitt was facing off against Nate whilst Dylan took on Kate. This fight was a bit difficult as the siblings had used several cheap shots and had scored injuries against the Cannonball fighters.

Dylan and Pitt had broken a sweat and were now preparing their retaliation.

"Nice to see Cobra Kai is being represented." 99 sarcastically grumbled on the balcony as the "audience" began to hoot and cheer.

Just then, the guards on either side of the bound Cannonballers gasped and put their hands to their necks. Before they could speak, they slumped to the floor unconscious.

Being sure to keep out of sight of the people in the foyer, April put her blowpipe away and gestured for 99 and the others to be silent as she took out a knife and cut each of their hands free.

She then went over to where she had come from and threw each of the balcony Cannonballers a gun which she had liberated from a weapons closet in Big Donnie's study.

As they each checked that the guns were loaded, Alex M. and Natalie gave April a thumbs-up.

Below them, the goons started to jeer again as Nate had finally been knocked out by Pitt.

Dylan gave a couple of knife-edge chops to Kate's chest and then punched her hard in the solar plexus.

As Kate doubled over, Dylan drove her elbow into her back a few times. This knocked Kate even lower until Dylan finally kicked her in the face and knocked her out as well.

Two of the "audience" stepped forward and removed the unconscious siblings from the "ring".

"Bravo." Rocco sarcastically applauded. "Now, it's finally time for the final fight."

"More scumbags for us to take out?" asked Pitt.

"Remember what I said?" Rocco chided. "Last man or woman standing wins. There are a man and a woman in the ring right now."

Dylan and Pitt looked furious.

"We have to fight each other?!" Dylan spluttered.

"Yep." Rocco grinned. "Either that or your mates are toast!"

"Can we think about it?" Pitt asked.

"Think fast." warned Rocco.

Pitt and Dylan stepped towards each other. After a few seconds, they both nodded.

They then stunned Rocco by both kicking him in the chest at the same time.

"Stand back! This jerk's all mine!" Dylan yelled as she stepped forward whilst Rocco recovered, got into a fighting stance and went on the offensive.

Dylan blocked several punches from Rocco before finally grabbing his wrist. She used the momentum to throw him through the sliding glass door to the patio.

He landed on the patio face-first. He looked up to see the toad that had been tormenting the dog. The toad let out a quiet croak, then sprayed Rocco with a shot of venom.

Rocco screamed in shock as the venom hit him head-on.

"Was that ever the wrong thing to do." Alex P. sneered as he and the few audience goons who had not been accidentally knocked out cracked their knuckles. Vicious Vicky and the Mauler joined them as they were looking for payback after losing their fights.

The assembled goons approached Pitt and Dylan menacingly.

On the balcony, April signaled the others and they all leaned over the balcony with their new weapons and the other two Angels fired warning shots which narrowly missed Alex P.

"Hold it, you guys!" April yelled as the goons looked shocked. They all looked up and saw April and the other members of Teams Angels and NUMA keeping them cover.

"Shit." Alex P. grumbled.

April and the others kept the goons covered as they walked down the stairs from the balcony into the foyer.

Along with Pitt and Dylan, there were now enough of them to take on the bad guys and win.

"Okay. You guys wanted a main event." Giordino grinned as he and the others put their guns down. "We'll give you one."

All the Cannonballers and April took fighting stances and surged forward as Pitt and Dylan joined them.

Alex P. and the goons put up their best fight but were no match for the Cannonballers. The goons were soon kicked aside, knocked through various pieces of furniture and through a couple of windows in short order.

Vicious Vicky and the Mauler tried to double team April, but she took the nunchucks off her belt again and struck both of them in the face and body hard with them. As the Mauler tried to lunge forward, April struck him in the crotch, knocking him down.

As Vicky tried to punch her, April dodged it and grabbed Vicky from behind and wrapped the nunchucks around her neck and choked her unconscious, making sure not to kill her. As Vicky fell, April mopped her brow.

The Cannonballers looked amazed at her prowess.

"Holy shit. April's a bad-ass." Alex M. smirked.

"You didn't think I wouldn't learn anything after running with the Ninja Turtles for so long, did ya?" April teased. "Also, I want to put all that damsel-in-distress crap behind me."

"You certainly did that." Gunn replied.

"I was able to get what I came for." April continued as she reached into her pocket and took out the two flash drives. "I just have to hand it over to Lara and somebody else who could help us."

"Evidence?" asked Natalie.

"That's a big 10-4." April replied. "So, shall we go?"

"Just one second." Pitt chipped in. "I have to get something from Big Donnie's study."

April pointed upstairs. "Upstairs, down the hall, turn left at the bathroom, first door on the right."

"Thanks." Pitt grinned.

Just outside Brisbane, the Butcher and Fast Eddie had parked their Ute and listened to Mick speaking to them over the CB.

Along with the duo were two other members of the Prime Movers. One of them was a geeky-looking guy with glasses and black hair who sat in a tricked-out '92 Mazda 323 GT-R. His namepatch read "Mainbrain".

The other member was a guy sitting astride a blue and white '13 Yamaha TT-R50E dirt bike who wore a full-face motorcycle helmet with the visor closed obscuring his face. His patch read 'The Hooded Man'.

"We have to take care of these Cannonball arseholes if we expect to see any money from Donnie!" Mick said. "Also, nobody disses us and gets away with it!"

"We hear ya, Mick." the Butcher replied. "We heard there are some of 'em going through Brisbane now. Are you three and Death Metal close?"

"Coming up on the city now." Mick replied.

"Ya remember that road we use outside Toowoomba for races?" Fast Eddie chipped in. "The one Mainbrain set up his little speed trap on to make sure we win?"

"Ya bet I do." Mick replied, sounding pleased.

"Ya see any Cannonballers, herd 'em that way and we'll take care of 'em!" the Butcher finished.

"Will do." Mick chuckled evilly.

In the early hours of the morning, Skeeter parked at the speaker for a 24-hour drive-thru restaurant.

"Welcome to Mondo Burger." said the attendant. "May I take your order please?"

"Uh yeah." said Skeeter. "I'd like a Mondo Mondo with cheese. Um, can I have that with no meat?"

"Monkeywrench?" came a voice over the radio. "Monkeywrench, are you out there?"

Skeeter picked up the C.B. "This is Monkeywrench. Go ahead."

"Oh, at least something's going right." said the voice. "Look, we're having a meeting to discuss our future plans."

"Sounds about right." said Skeeter. "Where's the meeting?"

"About two clicks outside of Coober Pedy."

"I'm on it." said Skeeter.

The Brawler, Detector, and Panama all sped down a highway in Central Australia.

April had made contact with Lara over the Cannonballers' frequency.

"I got the evidence that will clear your names." April explained. "If you just send me your location, I'll hand both copies over."

"Okay, April." Lara replied. "I'm uploading the location to your GPS now."

Within a few seconds, the location of Joel and Mike's farm near Woomera appeared on April's GPS screen.

"Received." April replied. "I'm on my way!"

"Can we help, April?" asked Natalie over the radio.

"It's okay. You guys get on with the race. I'll be fine." April replied.

"Thanks." Pitt said from the Panama as he sat in the passenger seat and held the third and final artifact that he had liberated from Big Donnie's house in his lap. "Good luck."

"Thanks to you too." April called as she upshifted the Brawler and popped a wheelie as she took off.

The Dreadnoks gathered around a clearing somewhere. Monkeywrench pulled up on his motorcycle.

"Nice of you to join us." said Buzzer.

"Nice to be here." said Monkeywrench. "So, what's this meeting about?"

"What's this meeting about?" asked Zanzibar. "We told you over the radio."

"I didn't talk to you on the radio." said Monkeywrench.

Just then, Skeeter pulled up in his van. He parked in the middle of the group and opened his window. "Uh, is this the meeting?" he asked.

"It's one of those Cannonball officials!" yelled Ripper.

"How did he find us?" asked Gnawgahyde.

"You told me to come here." said Skeeter. "You said you had a meeting for future plans."

"We thought you were Monkeywrench!" said Torch.

"You thought he was me?" yelled Monkeywrench.

"Monkeywrench is my CB handle." said Skeeter.

"Get him!" yelled Thrasher. "Dreadnoks, mount up!"

The Dreadnoks ran for their vehicles.

As she climbed into the Dreadnok Cycle's turret, Zanya asked "Do you really think you can leave here alive?"

"I don't think." said Skeeter as he switched on his weapon systems. "I know."

He threw his van into reverse and floored the accelerator. Monkeywrench started the Dreadnok Cycle and tried to ram him.

"What are you doing?" yelled Zanya. "That's a van! This is a large motorcycle!"

"Trying to psyche him out!" said Monkeywrench.

Skeeter pressed a button on the steering wheel of his van. The machine guns mounted to the sides opened fire and tore into the Dreadnok Cycle's tires. One quickly went flat and pitched the vehicle to the side. Skeeter kept firing on the Cycle's engine until it started to smoke.

He put his van back into drive and raced forward. Ripper, Buzzer, and Torch rode alongside on their motorcycles and started to hit the van with their weapons.

"Doesn't look too good for Skeeter!" said Skeeter.

He hit the brakes and spun the van to face the direction he had just come from. Ripper, Buzzer, and Torch did a U-turn and drove after him. Skeeter hit another button on his steering wheel and a cinderblock fell out of his undercarriage. Ripper hit the block and flipped his bike over. After he was thrown from the bike, Buzzer hit it and was thrown from his. Torch hit Buzzer's bike and got thrown onto Ripper and Buzzer.

"We might not have the advantage here." said Ripper.

"Where's me chainsaw?" asked Buzzer.

Suddenly, the chainsaw stuck in the ground just inches from his head. He looked at it in terror.

"That was kinda fun!" laughed Skeeter.

A barrage of bullets hit his van. He looked up to see Zanzibar flying over him in his Air Skiff and laughing.

"Wanker." muttered Skeeter as he pressed a button on his radar. The scanner focused on the Air Skiff. Seconds later, it started beeping rapidly upon getting a lock.

Skeeter pushed another button on the radar and a missile fired out of the back of the van. It homed in on the Air Skiff and struck the engine.

"That can't be good." said Zanzibar as he tried guiding the Air Skiff to the ground.

He passed the Swampfire copter as he prepared for a crash landing. Zarana flew the Swampfire towards Skeeter's van with Gnawgahyde on the pontoon.

"Get ready with that rifle." said Zarana.

"Next for the kill." said Gnawgahyde.

As the Swampfire came in low for the attack, Skeeter raced towards it. He clipped the other pontoon with his roof lights and spun the copter around.

Zarana righted the small copter and said "Nice try." However, she didn't realize how low she'd flown until Skeeter fired his machine guns into the Swampfire's hull. It soon flipped sideways and dug its rotor blades into the ground.

Skeeter started counting on his fingers. "Who's left?" he asked himself.

He heard a roar and saw the Thunder Machine facing him. Thrasher drove with Zandar in the passenger seat and Road Pig riding the left running board.

"Now, let's finish this." said Thrasher.

"He shall be most humiliated." said Road Pig. "We're gonna tear him apart!"

Skeeter stared down Thrasher. Thrasher stared back. Both revved their engines.

Thrasher floored his accelerator and raced towards the van. Skeeter floored his accelerator and charged him as well.

Road Pig started swinging his cinderblock hammer around and prepared to swing it into the van. Skeeter raced towards the Thunder Machine head on while Thrasher kept charging his van.

At the last second, Skeeter swerved to the right and released another cinderblock. Thrasher hit the block and tilted the Thunder Machine onto its right side wheels. Road Pig swung for Skeeter's van and missed. Skeeter opened his door and knocked Road Pig off of the running board. He hit the ground with a grunt.

Skeeter and Thrasher both performed U-turns, but Skeeter completed his first. He trained his guns on the engine of the Thunder Machine and let loose. The bullets tore into the engine until it burst into flame. The Thunder Machine crept to a halt.

Thrasher forced the hatch open and climbed out. He stood up and found himself staring down Skeeter's van.

"Whoa!" yelled Thrasher. "Please! Have mercy! I surrender!"

Skeeter giggled. "You got out." he laughed.

"What?" asked Thrasher.

"NEVER get out of the car!" said Skeeter.

As dawn began to break, Big Donnie walked into his house outside of Alice Springs while whistling. He looked forward to a few hours' sleep after being up all night closing a deal.

He stopped dead when he saw the destruction.

Alex walked around the foyer while looking at the mess and rubbing the back of his head.

"What the hell happened here?" yelled Big Donnie.

"It's a long story." said Alex. "We had guests. Namely, the Cannonballers."

"Ah, Christ." muttered Big Donnie.

"So, Rocco and I thought it would be entertaining to have two of them fight some of your fighters before having them fight each other to the finish."

"No, no, no!" said Big Donnie. "Haven't you read the Evil Overlord Checklist? NEVER have your captives fight each other. Where's Rocco?"

"Over here." said Alex as he led Big Donnie to the patio. Rocco laid against the wall with a goofy look on his face.

"What happened to him?" asked Big Donnie.

"Toad got him." said Alex. "He's still trippin' on the psychotropic venom."

Big Donnie and Alex leaned down to look at him.

"Rocco, can you hear me?" asked Big Donnie.

The dog trotted over to them. Rocco looked at her and screamed "DON'T LET HER GET ME!" while pointing at the dog.

Big Donnie and Alex looked to the dog in confusion. "Who?" asked Big Donnie.

"HER!" yelled Rocco as he pointed to the dog which now barked at him.

Alex looked at the dog again and asked "Who?"

"HER!" yelled Rocco, still pointing at the dog.

Big Donnie looked at the dog again, then back to Rocco. "Who are you talking about?" he asked.

"YOU KNOW! HER!" yelled Rocco as he still pointed to the dog.

While Big Donnie and Alex simply saw a blue healer, Rocco saw a blue healer with the face of Nicole Kidman barking "Rocco! Rocco! Rocco!"

"She knows my name!" screamed Rocco. "Don't let her get me! She wants my soul!"

"For God's sake!" Big Donnie hissed in exasperation. "Well, that settles it! Time to get hands on! Come with me!"

Alex followed Big Donnie over to the garage were a blue '14 FPV Pursuit Ute and and a white '14 HSV Maloo GTS sat.

Donnie took two pairs of keys off a board on the wall and threw one set to Alex.

"You take the Debaser." Donnie commanded as he pointed to the Maloo.

Donnie himself went over to the Pursuit Ute.

"I'll take the Velouria here."

A few minutes later, both trucks drove down the driveway.

"You see a Cannonballer, splatter 'em over your grille!" Big Donnie instructed

"Right, boss." Alex nodded as he and Big Donnie drove off in different directions.

A few seconds later Rocco stumbled down the driveway with the dog running around him.

"Please!" he yelled. "Make her stop! She's after my soul! Just make her stop!"

The dog ran up to him barking. "Ruf! Ruf! Aroogala!"

AN:With apologies to Nicole Kidman.

Team Midnight Club exited a restaurant in the South Bank Parklands precinct of Brisbane where they had stopped to get some breakfast.

"Okay, it's my turn to drive." Parfait remarked as she signalled for Dice to hand over the Ecureil's keys.

As Dice did so, Death Metal's truck sat at a traffic light just down the street from them. Mick observed the team through binoculars.

"Those guys have to be Cannonballers. Especially with that Vin Diesel wannabe who's with them." he sneered.

"Let's nail 'em!" Wolfie grinned.

"When they get out of the city, we will." Merv added.

"You bet." laughed Death Metal.

Elsewhere in the city, the ROCC had stopped and the rear doors opened. The completely repaired Battle drove down a ramp out of the ROCC with the Joe team once again ready to go.

"You actually did fix the car in time?" Stalker asked Clutch in surprise.

"It's me you're talking about." Clutch protested with mock indignation.

"And I gave him a hand." Rock 'N Roll added.

Scarlett and Cover Girl waved to them from the inside of the ROCC.

"Good luck, you guys!" Scarlett called. "Yo Joe!"

"YO JOE!" the team apart from Snake Eyes yelled as they raised their right arms in the air.

Team Rocket HQ...

As the party was still going strong, Oscar Bluth looked annoyed. He had been trying to smoke a joint for about half an hour, but the crowd was packed so tight that everybody around him was getting high from the second-hand smoke whilst he wasn't getting any effect from it.

He and J. Walter Weatherman exchanged angry looks and pushed through the throng to Giovanni's office. Cassidy sat in Giovanni's chair with her feet up on the desk and drank from a brandy decanter she had hocked from her boss' liquor cabinet. Even in the office, the crowd was packed in tight.

"EXCUSE ME!" Oscar yelled to her as he and Weatherman elbowed their way to the desk.

"You're excused!" Cassidy slurred drunkenly.

"The crowd is as thick as bugs on a bumper in here!" Oscar protested. "Don't you have maximum occupancy rules?"

Cassidy snorted as she took another slug of the brandy.

"Guess how many shits I give." she chuckled. "NONE! Not one! Absolute zero!"

Weatherman suddenly got an idea and smiled to himself.

Parfait drove the Ecureil west out of Brisbane on the way to Toowoomba. Savo sat in the passenger seat and Dice rode in the back.

Parfait enjoyed the ride until she heard the roar of a diesel engine coming up behind them. It was accompanied by a loud stereo blasting Metallica's "Seek and Destroy".

"Qu'est-ce que c'est?" she asked in alarm as she looked in the rear-view and saw Death Metal's rig coming up behind them and getting on their back bumper.

Parfait accelerated to try and put some distance between them and the truck, but the Movers persisted in their pursuit.

"Okay, guy. We get that you're a major metalhead." Dice yelled at the rear window. "I'm sure those Ironheade guys would love to meet you. Now back the hell off!"

Mick and his cronies laughed in the cab of the truck as they kept coming and got on the Ecureil's back bumper again and bumped it a little, causing the car to weave a bit before Parfait brought it back under control.

"We also get the idea that 'Duel' is your favorite movie!" Dice yelled. "No need to hammer it home!"

"Hang on!" Parfait grunted as she went to activate their nitrous. She saw that the gauge read that the tank was empty. "MERDE!" she yelled in frustration.

She simply upshifted instead and gained some ground on the truck. Death Metal put his foot to the floor and began to catch up without much difficulty.

Parfait made a sharp turn as the road curved to the left. Death Metal made the turn himself with little difficulty and caught up even more.

Mick picked up the CB.

"Mainbrain. We're leading these dickheads towards the speed trap." Mick informed. "We're about three minutes out. Be ready with the remote."

"Will do, boss." Mainbrain replied.

Parfait made a few more hair-raising turns on the winding road and was only just able to keep ahead of the truck.

Death Metal got alongside the Ecureil and tried to spin the car out by nudging the right rear quarter panel. Parfait was able to keep the car under control but was starting to lose her cool.

"I don't suppose your little toy can help us out?!" she snapped at Savo as he still held his signal jammer.

"I really don't know right now." Savo protested.

"If this keeps up much longer, none of us will EVER know!" Dice yelled as Death Metal tried to spin them out again and Parfait just barely kept the Ecureil on the road.

Death Metal rammed their side a few more times, causing dents to the bodywork. Parfait clenched her teeth and tried to outdistance him yet again.

Up ahead of the two vehicles, Mainbrain stood by his 323 which was parked just at the side of the road holding a remote control. The Ute was there as well with the Butcher and Fast Eddie in it and the Hooded Man still sat astride his bike.

The Ecureil had gained a good amount of a lead on the truck.

Mainbrain pressed a button on the remote. A hidden, heavy wedge barrier rose up out of the blacktop on the road as the Ecureil approached.

"SHIT!" Dice yelled as he and the team saw the barrier.

Savo had noticed Mainbrain's remote.

"Hang on!" Savo yelled as he activated a switch on his signal jammer. After a few seconds, the barrier closed back down into the ground as the signal from Mainbrain's remote was jammed.

Mainbrain glared and used the remote to raise the barrier again. Savo once again jammed the signal and lowered the barrier.

As the Ecureil was about thirty feet away, Mainbrain raised the barrier once more.

The truck caught up with Team Midnight Club.

"Just a matter of timing." Savo mumbled as he got ready to jam the signal once more.

Just as the Ecureil was about to hit the barrier head on, Savo jammed the signal once again and lowered it as Mainbrain raced to raise it again.

Parfait drove at high speed over the lowered barrier and the team were on their way. Mainbrain panicked as he realized he had just raised the barrier as Death Metal's truck was almost on it.

Mick, Wolfie, and Merv yelled in shock as Death Metal slammed on the brakes.

The front of the truck hit the barrier. This caused the grille and its skull and chain ornaments to get severely damaged and make the truck pitch forward a bit.

After about ten seconds, the truck set back down on all four wheels. The truck was, however, too damaged to go on.

"Ya friggin' dillbrain!" Death Metal yelled to Mainbrain as he put his head out the open driver's window. "What am I supposed to tell the insurance company?!"

"Oops?" Mainbrain shrugged sheepishly.

"I bet they'll be glad to see that bloody eyesore off the road." the Hooded Man quipped.

"You can talk, considering you always wear that bloody lid to hide your ugly mug!" Merv snapped at the Hooded Man.

"Come in, Movers!" Chief Doyle's voice came over Death Metal's CB

Mick angrily picked up the mic and keyed it.

"Not now, Petey. It's not a good time." he growled.

"Never mind that!" Doyle snapped back. "I found out that the Cannonballers went across the Outback when they were here two years ago. They may try that crap again! So, if you want me to make your outstanding citations to go away, you'd better do something about it."

"If you say so." Mick sighed. "I'll call in the reinforcements."

"You do that." Doyle replied.

As the Ecureil kept on driving down the road, Team Midnight Club cheered.

Savo glanced at Dice and cleared his throat.

"Okay. I retract my previous statements about the signal jammer." Dice shrugged.

"And...?" Savo added.

Dice sighed and handed over five $100 bills to Savo as they had made a bet as well.

"Let that be a lesson to you, asswipe." Savo chided good-naturedly.

Tobias still drove Skeeter's kit car at high speeds along a highway near the border between New South Wales and South Australia. After he had got out of the Blue Mountains, he had given the Charlie Sierra team the slip for a while, but they had now caught up with him.

In addition to Double T in her Cobra, the other three members of the team were now involved in the chase.

One of them was a tall, bald-headed man with a ginger mustache by the name of Lehman. He drove a white '75 Ford Falcon XB John Goss Special with the green Emerald Fire paintjob on the hood.

The third member was a short man with slightly curly black hair called Wentworth who drove a gray '71 Ford Falcon XY GT-HO Phase III with a hood scoop, orange stripes on the sides, and two parallel black stripes on the hood.

The final member was also male. He was of medium height and build with close-cropped light brown hair and his name was Ferguson. He drove an orange '72 Ford Falcon XA GT-HO Phase IV with a black hood.

The team kept in hot pursuit of "Lara" who managed to keep ahead of them. Just then, the Foyts in the JB 700 joined in the chase.

"Do you nice officers need a hand?" Alice asked over the CB as she drove.

"Who are you?" asked Lehman over his radio in reply.

"A former police commander from the States who would love to see Croft brought to justice." Alice answered.

"You think you can catch her with that ride?" Wentworth asked with regards to the JB 700.

"Believe me. This car is far from the standard edition." Alice grinned as she upshifted and began to catch up with the "Vulcano".

Tobias chuckled to himself as he saw the silver DB5 beginning to gain ground on him.

"Goodbye, Mr. Bond!" he cheered in imitation of Donald Pleasance as 007 villain Blofeld.

As he put his foot down, the kit car's engine began to splutter a bit. He looked concerned and looked at the dashboard. The fuel gauge's needle hovered dangerously close to "empty".

"I knew I forgot something!" Tobias cursed to himself as the JB 700 overtook him.

As Alice kept the wheel steady, Janice flipped a switch on the dashboard and dropped all three sets of spike strips from the Aston's rear.

The kit car drove over them all and burst all four tires. Tobias now had no choice but to stop.

The Foyts cheered as they stopped the JB 700, got out and joined the CS team as they used their cars to surround the 'Vulcano'.

"Out of the car, NOW!" Double T yelled as the team pointed their guns at the green Lambo.

Tobias climbed out and held his hands over his head.

"Look, chaps." he said in a very bad imitation of a female British voice. "I know I was going a bit over the limit, but..."

The CS team shared suspicious looks as they heard the distinctly non-British and non-female voice. Janice marched over to Tobias and yanked off both the helmet and his wig, exposing his true identity.

"What the hell?!" exclaimed Ferguson. "We've been on a wild goose chase all this time!"

"Relax." Alice grinned as she approached. "I bet this jerk knows where Croft really is."

"I won't talk! NEVER!" Tobias yelled defiantly.

Janice reached into her pocket and took out a stiletto switchblade, snapped the blade open and held it very close to Tobias' crotch.

"How'd you like it if I were to permanently revoke your membership, buddy boy?" Janice menacingly asked.

Tobias gulped. "I don't know their EXACT location, but I can give you the frequency the Cannonballers use. I'm sure Lady Croft will be listening to it."

"Good boy." Alice chuckled as she mockingly pinched Tobias' cheek.

"Should we call this in?" asked Lehman.

"Why not wait until you've actually caught the real Croft?" Alice suggested. "The two of us can help you, but you can get the credit. Wouldn't it be great to report a complete success to your superiors?"

The four members of the CS team all smirked.

"We really like your thinking, Ms...uh..."

"FOYT!" Alice, Janice, and Tobias chorused.

Empire City...

Shawn and Gus had recently arrived in the city after catching a plane to the East Coast. They now sat in a chain of Up-n-Atom Burger in the west side of the city.

"Are you sure this guy will show?" asked Gus.

"That security guard told us that he comes here around this time at this time of the week." Shawn added. "And that he would be very talkative if we had a plate of food waiting for him."

Gus looked in disgust at the dinner plate that was set at the empty seat at their table. It had the chain's 10-slices of Bacon-Triple Cheese Melt burger and a paper cup next to it held an Extra Creamy Jumbo Shake.

"This guy is called Greasy for a reason as far as I can tell." Gus groaned.

"Sure, he goes to a different fast food joint on each day of the week." Shawn replied.

Greasy entered the joint and saw Shawn and Gus waiting for him. He grinned as he walked over.

"Are you the guys from California?" he asked.

"That's us." Shawn smirked as he gestured to Greasy's meal and indicated that he sit down.

Greasy did so and took a bite out of the burger.

"Funny that you like something with so much bacon considering you hate cops." Shawn remarked.

Greasy suddenly stopped chewing and looked shocked.

"I was just thinking that!" he whispered in shock. "Are you psychic?"

"Yep." Shawn lied, taking advantage of the situation.

"Whoa, whoa!" Greasy yelled in fright as he stood up. "I'll give you whatever you want! Just don't poke around inside my head like that!"

Shawn and Gus exchanged a glance and smiled.

"You wouldn't happen to have information about Nightshade's safehouses, would you?" asked Gus.

"Yes! Here!" Greasy stammered as he took out another flash drive and set it on the table. "For you, free of charge. As I said, just don't poke around in my head. Even I don't want to know some of the stuff that's in there."

"No prob." Shawn nodded.

"If I were you, I'd concentrate on the West Coast safehouses." Greasy advised.

"Thank you kindly." Gus nodded as he took the flash drive.

"Nice knowing you." Greasy sighed in relief as he hurried away.

"He didn't finish his food." Gus remarked.

"I'm not eating it." Shawn replied.

"Me neither." Gus added as he and Shawn got up and left the table.

At Joel and Mike's farm, Lara's team had just finished watching the movie "Ski Patrol" with the 'bots and making jokes along with them.

"They actually planned to make a franchise out of THAT?" Joanna laughed in disbelief.

"It was made by the guys behind the 'Police Academy' movies. They may have made that franchise last for seven movies but still ran every joke into the ground before the end." Crow nodded.

"You'd think they'd know better than to just try the same formula in a different setting." Anna chuckled.

"LARA! You need to hear this!" Gypsy called as she monitored the Cannonball frequency.

Lara and her team walked over to the radio. Lara unplugged Gypsy's headphones and the group heard Alice Foyt's voice coming over the radio.

"Attention, Lara Croft! Attention!" Foyt announced. "We have your friend Mr. Funke in our custody. We are willing to let him go if you are willing to do a trade. Otherwise, Mr. Funke will find himself in the toughest prison in Australia. He looks like he enjoys getting in touch with his feminine side, so he'll probably enjoy it! Do you read?"

Lara glared and keyed the mic. "What do you want us to do, Foyt?" she demanded.

"Simple. You tell us where you are and me, my daughter, and some very top notch police officers will come and pick you up." Foyt smugly replied. "You do that, and we will let Mr. Funke go and leave a GPS tracker with him so that his team-mates can find him."

Lara swallowed hard. "Alright." she croaked. "We're at a farm twenty miles north of Woomera. It's in a very remote area."

"I know that place!" Wentworth's voice came over the radio. "That's where those arseholes who make fun of perfectly good movies live! I'd love to kick their arses!"

"You have a curious idea of what makes a good movie!" Double T cut in.

"NOBODY insults 'BMX Bandits' on my watch!" Wentworth snapped back.

"ENOUGH!" Foyt yelled. "Alright, Croft. Sit tight and we'll just come and get you."

"And you'll release Tobias?" Lara asked.

"I'm a woman of my word." Foyt replied cheerily.

"And I'm a woman of mine when I tell you we won't go down without a fight." Lara added.

"Oh, I hope you'll put up a fight." Foyt smirked. "That way, these fine officers can say they were provoked if something untoward were to happen to you while resisting arrest. Foyt out."

"Right. We'd better gear up." Nina nodded.

Joanna turned to Michael Bluth and Buster. "You two had better go get Tobias back when that GPS signal comes in."

"What about you guys?" Michael asked in concern.

"We'll be okay." Joel stated as he came over. "Don't forget. We've got a Megaweapon."

"If you say so." Michael solemnly nodded.

April sped across the Outback in the Brawler. She had also monitored the Cannonball frequency and had just heard Foyt's conversation with Lara.

"Hang on, Lara. I'm on my way!" April grunted to herself as she shifted the Brawler into overdrive, popped a wheelie, and sped off on the way to the valley the farm was in.

"Come on, honey. Don't fail me now." she whispered to the Brawler as she kept going.

The Ecureil was now up on a lift in a service bay of a Speed Zone franchise near Roma in Queensland as Team Midnight Club got a new nitrous tank added. In the next two bays, the Falcon and the Road Lord were being serviced.

Jay and Silent Bob stood by and heard music coming from the stereo in the Road Lord as Spike sat in the passenger seat, playing air guitar.

"We are the ones they call the Highway Hunters! First and the last of the demon seed!" Spike sang along to the CD player. "Some say immortal, we're the Highway Hunters! We're the one and only killing breed!"

"I don't think we've heard that band before." Jay remarked as he and Bob walked over. "Who are they?"

Mason slid out from under the Road Lord. "They're called the Fuzz Brothers." he stated. "And you never will hear them unless you visit our dimension."

"There's heavy metal in a dystopian future world?" Brodie asked in confusion as he wandered over.

"Sure is. Hell, Max told us he went up against a warlord who had a heavy metal guitarist to spur his troops on in battle." Spike added as he turned the CD player down.

"No shit?" asked Brodie.

"No shit." Spike nodded.

"Hey, how about we burn you guys a CD of the Fuzz Brothers and give it to you when the race is over?" asked Mason. "I bet you'd dig their music a lot. And that way you really will have a special limited edition CD."

"Hell yeah!" Jay grinned. "I could use inspiration for my music."

"YOU make music?" asked Dice as he joined them.

"Well, I rap a little bit." Jay replied.

"How about we hear some?" asked Mason.

"I would, but you all know about my bet with Silent Bob for the duration of the race." Jay sheepishly remarked.

"Yeah, you're usually a regular Sir Swears-A-Lot, right?" Dice mischievously asked.

"I don't swear!" Jay indignantly replied. "I speak fluent truck driver with a sailor dialect and a construction worker accent."

"Sounds more like you speak clear, accentless bullshit." Spike joked.

Team Muppets had just finished refueling the Hellenbach at a gas station along the Ross Highway. As Fozzie hung up the pump, Kermit came out of the station store where he had just finished paying for the gas. Fozzie climbed into the driver's seat as Kermit went to throw a candy wrapper into a garbage bin near the pump.

"BAD MAN!" Animal yelled suddenly as the team heard the roar of an engine.

Alex raced right towards them in the Debaser on a collision course.

"GET IN!" Fozzie yelled to Kermit who leaped into the passenger seat through the open window. Fozzie gunned the Hellenbach's engine and peeled out just before the Debaser crashed into them.

Alex did hit the bottom of the gas pump and caused a minor explosion with sparks flying as Team Muppets made good their escape.

As the station attendant shook his head in disgust inside the store and called the emergency services, Alex gritted his teeth as he reversed the Debaser out of the station and drove off after the Hellenbach. He didn't seem to notice or care that the undercarriage of the Debaser was now in flames from the explosion.

As he caught up with the Hellenbach, Gonzo looked out the rear window with admiration.

"COOL! That guy's driving a torch!" he gushed in amazement.

"Boys will be boys and boys will be idiots, apparently." Rizzo groaned.

"I hope that he knows when to call it quits." Kermit remarked as Fozzie kept going and put decent distance between the Hellenbach and the Debaser.

Alex sped up a bit, but then saw the temperature light flashing a warning on the dashboard. He now himself felt the heat from the flames.

"SHIT!" he cursed to himself as he drove off the highway and into a small creek running alongside it to put the fire out.

"Some common sense at last." Fozzie sighed as he saw that Alex had put out the fire and was now far behind them.

"BYE BYE!" Animal cheerily yelled as Team Muppets went on their way.

At Joel and Mike's farm, Michael Bluth and Buster had already left to find Tobias. The remaining Cannonballers and their allies were setting battle stations to deal with the incursion that was about to happen.

Joel and Mike spoke to Brock over the radio.

"Are you sure you guys want to help out?" Brock was asking.

"Absolutely." Joel nodded. "The laser weapons I was able to make should help out. And, as I said, we have Megaweapon. I doubt that Foyt will expect him."

"I take it that fighting music is once again the order of the day?" Brock continued.

"If Papa Roach can give us something, that would be good." Mike suggested.

"Then it shall be." Brock answered.

Venom kept watch through a pair of binoculars and saw the JB 700 and the four CS cars on the access road into the valley, about two miles from the farmhouse.

"Here they come!" he warned as the teams got ready.

"Let them come!" Megaweapon happily growled as he sat parked at the perimeter they had set up.

Priss, Lara, and Joanna crouched behind a pile of sandbags holding Uzis. Behind another set were Crow, Tom, and the Sphinx who each held what looked like a cross between a shotgun and a Tommy gun.

Venom, Charlie, and Left Ear hid behind another pile holding pistols.

These guns had all been modified to fire laser beams. In addition to Megaweapon facing front and outwards, Nina and Anna had parked the Vulcano in a similar position and had the flame thrower at the ready.

They clicked the safety off their weapons just as the music began.

Whoa-o, Whoa-o, yeah, yeah.

Alice Foyt grinned as she and her allies kept coming along the access road.

"Come to Mama!" she laughed.

Just then, the Brawler drove down an embankment to the right and got on the access road.

"Good! I'm not too late!" April cheered as she started to pursue the five attackers.

You say I'm looking really bad, you say I'm looking really sick.
And I don't even care, I never really did.

Double T looked in her rear-view and saw April approaching.

"We've got company!" she warned over the CB. "It's that Yank reporter O'Neil!"

"She's an ally of the Cannonballers!" Janice Foyt warned.

So when push comes to shove and I slap you in the face.
Just remember one thing.

"Wentworth, Ferguson! You two pull over here and stop her! Then catch up with us!" Double T ordered.

"Got it!" Wentworth replied.

"Roger!" Ferguson added as they swerved their GT-HO's to the side to block the road and came to a halt. They both got out of their cars and drew their guns. As the Brawler approached, both officers fired several shots at it, but the armored body protected April.

When it's time to fill the void,
my whole life has been destroyed.
And everyone around me says my time is running out.

April activated her nitrous and went over a slight rise in the dirt road. This sent the Brawler soaring into the air and she leaped over Ferguson and Wentworth's cars as the two officers ducked down in alarm.

April landed back on the road and took off after the remaining three cars.

Wentworth and Ferguson picked themselves up and got back into their cars. They drove off in pursuit of the Brawler.

I refuse to surrender.
I refuse to surrender.

The Foyts, Double T, and Lehman were now about one mile away from the farmhouse. Alice gave a glance to her rear-view and saw April still coming.

"She's still back there!" Alice yelled in anger.

"You go on, Ms. Foyt!" Double T commanded. "We'll finish this off and catch up with you!"

"Affirmative!" Lehman chipped in as he and Double T each hung a 180 and drove side by side in the opposite direction to take out April as the JB 700 went on.

As April kept coming, she saw Double T and Lehman coming right for her. She also knew that Wentworth and Ferguson were also driving side by side behind her and catching up.

"Clever guys." she mused to herself.

So when I'm out of control, and I'm out of my mind.
Just remember one thing, I think I'm just fine.
So catch me when I fall, I won't remember anything at all.
So catch me when I fall.

As the four CS cars were about to box her in. She flicked a switch on the dashboard and the Brawler's bumper opened out and sloped downwards to make a plow.

"But not clever enough!" April added as she plowed into the Cobra and the Special, making them flip over and crash down, rolling over on the ground as they landed. The two GT-HO's were unable to stop in time and they spun out and hit the Cobra and the Special side on, wrecking themselves as they did.

When it's time to fill the void,
my whole life has been destroyed.
And everyone around me says.
my time is running out.
I refuse to surrender.
I refuse to surrender.

The Drake saw what April had done through his own binoculars.

"Nice." he grinned.

"I'm reading four life signs from those cars." Gypsy reported. "They're injured and unconscious, but alive."

"We'll round them up later." the Drake nodded as the JB 700 made a sharp left turn where the access road curved and was now just half a mile away as the Cannonballers got ready.

Whoa-o, whoa-o, yeah, yeah.
Whoa-o, whoa-o, yeah, yeah.

As the Foyts approached, Janice had a quick glance behind them and saw that none of the CS team were behind them any more.

"Charlie Sierra, come in." she asked worriedly into the CB. "Charlie Sierra, do you copy? Trenchard? Lehman? Wentworth? Ferguson? Are you there?"

There was no reply but static.

"SHIT!" Alice yelled. "Looks like we'll have to do this ourselves!"

She put her foot down and sped towards the defended perimeter at the farmhouse.

When it's time to fill the void,
my whole life has been destroyed.
And everyone around me says,
my time is running out.

The defending Cannonballers and the two 'bots opened fire with their laser guns. They were joined in the effort by the Vulcano and Megaweapon who fired blasts from their flame throwers. The JB 700 had been armored as well, but its armor was not too strong and the Aston began to suffer damage from the laser blasts and the jets of flame. The Foyts kept going. Just then, April came around the turn behind the JB 700 and caught up with no problem.

When it's time to fill the void.
my whole life has been destroyed.
And everyone around me says,
my time is running out.

As the Foyts made their final approach to the farmhouse, the laser fire and flame blasts kept up and April sideswiped the JB 700 a few times. Eventually as the Foyts tried to leave her behind, she performed a PIT manuever and caused the JB 700 to spin out and crash sideways into Megaweapon's front bumper.

I refuse to surrender.
I refuse to surrender.
I refuse to surrender.
I refuse to surrender.

-"Time Is Running Out" by Papa Roach.

"A little stain on my bumper." Megaweapon mused. "I think I'll wipe it off."

"RUN!" Alice yelled as she and Janice undid their seatbelts. They both jumped out of the driver side door and ran off into the Outback as Megaweapon eased himself forward and effortlessly crushed the JB 700 under his wheels.

"Where are we running to?" Janice demanded as she sprinted after her mother.

"Who cares? JUST GO!" Alice yelled back.

"Should we go after 'em?" asked Left Ear.

"I'm sure we'll meet them again." Charlie smirked.

The Brawler came to a halt and April climbed out.

"Holy shit. April's a bad-ass." Crow remarked.

"Glad you noticed as well." April grinned as she made a mock bow.

Team Rocket HQ...

Cassidy and Butch sat on Giovanni's desk making out. As they did, Cassidy's nostrils twitched a little.

"Do you smell smoke?" she asked.

"I haven't had any cigarettes today." Butch replied.

Suddenly, the air was split by the fire alarm.

Oscar and Weatherman stuck their heads through the door.

"FIRE!" Oscar yelled. "COME ON! LET'S GO!"

"SHIT!" Butch and Cassidy chorused as they left the office and joined the stampede of Rockets as they ran for the exits. Most of the gathering were already outside as Butch, Cassidy, Oscar, and Weatherman ran for the door.

As they reached it, all four of them got bunched up in the doorway. After a brief struggle, they finally pulled free and got out. As Butch and Cassidy joined the assembled Rockets and their guests, Annie, Oakley, and Domino ran out of the building holding fire extinguishers.

"It's okay." Domino announced. "It was just a couple of small fires made with sticks just to make smoke. The sprinklers put them all out. Probably some jerk thought it would be funny."

The three of them noticed that everybody else looked horrified. Butch was doubled over and threw up.

"What?" asked Annie.

Cassidy shakily pointed to behind them. They turned around to see an arm lying at the side of the door with blood oozing from it.

Weatherman himself stood nearby with some more blood coming from his shoulder.

"It...it came off when we got stuck in the door and pushed free." Cassidy whispered in horror.

"Oh, my God!" Oakley hoarsely remarked. "This guy lost his arm! He lost his arm...that was already revealed to be prosthetic."

Weatherman marched over to Cassidy and looked her dead in the eye. "And THAT is why you don't ignore maximum occupancy rules." he announced.

Butch threw his head forward and threw up again. After he was done, he looked at the ground in surprise.

"I don't remember eating any shrimp." he grunted.

"Meanwhile, Michael and Buster arrived in Coober Pedy to find Tobias."

"There's not a lot to this town." said Buster.

"That's because most of it is underground." said Michael. "Fun fact: it gets so hot here that many of the residents live in underground homes called dugouts."

"Ooh, we should do something like that." said Buster. "Be our first defense against...the Mole People."

"Uh, where's this signal taking us?" asked Michael.

Tobias stood at the entrance to the town's drive-in theater. He now wore a very gaudy red Hawaiian shirt, a pair of plaid slacks, and a pair of light brown Doc Marten's cowboy boots. He held an umbrella and shaded himself. The Ambitious pulled up to him as Michael and Buster found the signal from the GPS tracker in Tobias' watch.

"Oh, come on!" said Michael. He parked and he and Buster climbed out.

"They have a snack bar." said Buster. "I'm gonna get some juice!"

Buster ran for the snack bar while Michael walked up to Tobias.

"Seriously?" Michael asked as he appraised Tobias' new outfit.

"The Foyts left me with a budget for a wardrobe change when they left me in the town." Tobias explained. "I wasn't gonna keep on wearing Lara's outfit."

"And you went for THAT look?" Michael asked.

"It was all I could afford that was in my size." Tobias shrugged. "Besides, this could be a good look for me."

It wasn't, but it was still an improvement over some of his past ensembles.

A clip showed Tobias wearing black leather pants, a black leather vest, and a black leather cap with a silver chain. Another clip showed him in his jean shorts while painted blue. Another clip showed him wearing a mole costume.

Buster ran out of the snack bar with a cup. "They had fruit punch!" he cheered.

"Okay, let's go." said Tobias as he closed his umbrella.

"To your credit," said Michael as he got into the car "I see you had the good sense to buy an umbrella."

"Yes, they told me how hot it gets here." said Tobias as he sat in the seat. "I thought I'd get some portable shade."

Michael started the car and started to drive off.

"Sorry, I should have gotten one for you." said Tobias. "Looking at you, I can tell that you're hot."

"Hey." said Michael.

In a small town near the border between Queensland and Southern Australia, the Justices and Roscoe sat in the damaged Crusader keeping a look out for Cannonballers. Buford grumpily ate a sandwich which consisted of two beef "hot link" sausages and hot sauce on a toasted hamburger bun. He paused and took a sip out of a bottle of Dr. Pepper which was in the cup holder.

"Glad I could get a Diablo samich over here." he remarked as he let out a belch.

"Glad to see you take your health seriously." Roscoe mumbled a little too loudly.

"Watch it, boy!" Buford snapped. "I'm sensitive about my goddamn figure."

"Try doing something about it then." Roscoe thought to himself.

The Doomsayer screamed into the parking lot of a a bank building across the street. Mario got out in as much of a rush so he could use the ATM but so that his team wouldn't lose time.

"I think we got ourselves a customer." beamed Roscoe.

"Then let's go." Buford agreed.

As Buford dropped his sandwich and put the Crusader in gear, the Velouria suddenly drove up and blocked his way.

"Get stuffed, wombat! Those guys are MY Cannonballers!" Big Donnie snapped.

"Up your ass, ya dumb sumbitch!" Buford yelled back as he raised his gun.

Big Donnie reached under his seat and pulled up an Uzi. The Justices and Roscoe ducked in shock as Donnie leaned out his window and sprayed the Crusader's windshield and hood with bullets, causing the windshield to completely shatter and fall apart in pieces and the hood to be peppered with holes.

"Mine's bigger than yours." Donnie chuckled as the Doomsayer pulled away from the bank and he drove after it at a distance.

The three CRAP officers slowly raised their heads over the Crusader's dash.

"This is not our day." Junior groused.

Double T came around from her unconsciousness and saw that she was tied to a chair. She saw Wentworth, Lehman, and Ferguson were present and also hog-tied in chairs. Standing in front of her were Lara Croft and April O'Neil. The other Cannonballers and their friends were also present. They were all in Joel's farmhouse.

"Glad you could join us in the land of the living." Lara grinned. "We know that you work for Doyle. Think you could tell us how he plans to stop us before we leave the country?"

"You're dreaming, ya pommie slag! I'm not telling you shit!" Double T snapped. "I can take pain if you intend to torture me."

"I think I know how to get her to talk." Mike chipped in as he wheeled forward a TV and inserted a DVD into the player.

"Samurai Cop?" Joel asked as he saw the DVD cover.

"Yep. About twenty minutes of this should get her to talk." Mike nodded. "Especially if we aren't there to make jokes through it."

"Sounds a bit too cruel to me." mused Priss.

"Maybe, but it's all our butts on the line." the Drake added.

"Too right." Left Ear nodded

As the DVD began to play, the Cannonball group left the room and locked the door as the movie began to play.

The Foyts had stopped running and now walked through the Outback. They were about to lose hope when they went up an incline leading to a long salt flat. Their jaws dropped as they crested the rise and saw a dark grey, futuristic looking mid-engined sports car with a black hood and two jet engines in the rear standing just a few feet away.

"Please tell me that's not a mirage." Janice pleaded in awe.

Alice put out her hand and touched the car.

"It's real alright." she cheered as she then tried the driver-side door and found that it wasn't locked.

"Excellent!" Janice grinned as she got in on the passenger side.

About half a mile away, Buckaroo Banzai and the Hong Kong Cavaliers entered an underground bunker they had recently built. The car the Foyts had just got into was the SLF450X vehicle which Buckaroo had mentioned on the Cannonball news feed and Team Banzai were running a test of its new omnithruster.

There were monitors set up in the bunker to keep an eye on the car. However, the group had entered the bunker just a fraction too late to see the Foyts appropriate the car on the monitors just and walked over to a control panel.

"Okay. Let's give the omnithruster one last run-through with the remote pilot and see how she fares before I take it for a manned run." Buckaroo announced as he turned a dial on the panel.

"Let's see if I can hotwire this thing." Alice remarked in the SLF as she tried to pry open a panel on the steering wheel.

Both women heard the sound of the jet engines starting to hum as the SLF was remotely activated.

Janice looked nervous.

"You did that, right?" she meekly asked her mother.

Alice gulped as the engines got louder.

"It would be wise to buckle up right now." she whispered.

The Foyts hurriedly put on their seatbelts as the SLF's engines reached full power and the gray car accelerated off at a high speed.

In the bunker, Rawhide kept an eye on the monitor showing the SLF's speed.

"150...200...220." he reported as the test vehicle increased velocity in a matter of seconds.

"Holding steady." Perfect Tommy added as the car stayed under control and kept on course. "Suspension's handling fine."

"Of course it is." New Jersey smirked. "You improved on the original design."

"And you ARE perfect." Reno added.

As the SLF accelerated along the desert floor even faster, the Foyts squealed as the g-forces pressed them against their seats.

Joel, Mike, and April all heard whimpers of pain coming from the room they had secured the Charlie Sierra team in. Joel unlocked the door and the three of them entered the room. The four hog-tied cops were bug-eyed with horror as the DVD of "Samurai Cop" kept playing.

"Please turn it off!" Double T begged. "We'll tell you anything! Just make it stop!"

Joel grinned and used a remote to turn the TV off.

"Okay. We're all ears." Mike cheerily declaimed.

"Chief Doyle knows that the Cannonball bridge out of Australia begins in Darwin." Lehman began. "He's setting up a fortified roadblock just outside the city to stop any and all Cannonballers."

"Also, the Prime Movers car club are helping him out and have been told to check the dirt roads through the Outback in case the racers try to get past the block that way." Ferguson chipped in. "We heard about it over the radio a while back."

"Illegal racers helping the cops?" April asked as she raised an eyebrow.

"The chief Mover is Doyle's cousin." Wentworth added. "So, Doyle cuts him a bit more slack."

"There's something else." Double T spoke up. "The Darwin chief of police is called Irene Pearce. She and Doyle have butted heads before and he's probably encroaching on her territory with the roadblock to piss her off. She's been looking to catch him doing anything illegal for years as she's heard rumors of corruption."

April grinned at that. "So, if someone were to come across evidence of such corruption and give it to Chief Pearce, it would provide us with an ally?" she asked.

"It would. But where would you find such evidence?" Double T inquired.

"We'll manage." smirked April.

"Now, if you could give us the exact location of the roadblock..." Joel began.

"We will! As long as we don't have to watch any more of that bloody terrible movie!" Wentworth desperately nodded.

"Perfect." Joel grinned.

Fifteen minutes later...

The Cannonballers, Charlene, Joel, and Mike looked over a map of Australia in the living room with the highways highlighted as they made plans.

Two crosses had been marked in places in the Outback near Darwin.

"Okay." Lara addressed the group as she pointed to one of the crosses. "This one here is where April and Charlene will get back on the highway so they can get to Darwin ahead of us and present the evidence to Chief Pearce. Those cops let us know where to find her, so it's imperative that they get the data through to her."

Joel pointed to the other cross. "This point is where Lara and her team will come back onto the highway themselves after going through the Outback so that they can head towards the roadblock in time for us to clear it with our little surprise."

"It's not really a 'little' surprise." Memphis spoke up.

"Yeah, but I doubt Doyle will expect it anyway." Sway replied.

"As for the Prime Movers, Priss will scout ahead on the main highways to see if any of them have stayed on the main roads to mop up any other Cannonballers and see if she can give them some more grief." Mike finished.

"Sounds like a plan." Charlie nodded in agreement.

"So, let's get going!" Nina cheered.

The Doomsayer sped down a desert highway with Sonic at the wheel. The Velouria was about thirty feet behind them. Big Donnie had finished being subtle in his pursuit and fired a few shots from his Uzi at the Doomsayer.

"The heck with this." grunted Sonic as he took out one of his rings.

"What's that gonna do?" asked Luigi.

"Take us about thirty miles from here." Sonic grinned as he put down his window and threw the ring into the road ahead of them.

The ring expanded and opened up a portal showing another location in Australia far away from their current location. As Big Donnie slapped a fresh clip into his Uzi, the Doomsayer drove through the portal. Donnie raised his Uzi and fired just as the portal closed. His bullets flew wide.

"STREWTH!" Donnie yelled.

A mighty wind blew up as the SLF shot past Donnie on the desert floor next to the highway. Donnie struggled to keep control as the head wind buffeted the Velouria.

As the SLF continued to run at incredible speeds, the Foyts saw Donnie's bullets floating in the air next to them. The SLF moved so fast it kept pace with the bullets exactly. The Foyts groaned in discomfort as they continued reluctantly on their way.

The Crusader had made it to just south of Alice Springs. Buford angrily brought the truck to a halt as he saw the road blocked by a tow truck helping a car out of a ditch with a police officer directing traffic around it.

"We ain't got time for this!" he snapped as he drove forward and tapped the horn a couple of times.

The horn suddenly stuck and kept blaring one continuous note. The Justices and Roscoe looked very aggravated. The cop walked over to where they had stopped and testily took in the battered condition of the Crusader. He kicked the left side of the Crusader's hood and the horn cut out.

"Thank you." Buford sighed.

"Don't thank me yet, ya Yank wanker!" the cop snapped. "What in the name of Christ is this piece of shit?!"

"There's no need for the attitude." Roscoe assured. "And we don't appreciate you questioning our honesty as police officers."

"I didn't say 'crank yanker'!" the cop snapped. "Are you sodding deaf or stupid?! And what the hell is this...THING you're driving anyway?!"

"It's evidence." Junior sheepishly chipped in as Buford looked increasingly like he was trying to keep his temper.

"I don't give a toss what it is!" The cop yelled. "You are NOT driving this piece of shit on this..."

Buford angrily climbed out of the Crusader and got right in the cop's grille.

"Do NOT take that attitude with me, son!" Buford yelled as he jabbed his index finger into the cop's chest. "We are part of a police organization tasked with an important job that has jurisdiction all over this world! We have been trying to stop the Cannonball Run! The people who take part in it have committed just about every moving violation in the book! We were the only members allowed in this country and we have so far received ZERO help from your fellow officers as they'd rather waste time chasing one lousy team in one lousy pasta rocket, and your fellow officers have been outright INSULTING to us!"

The cop looked stunned as Buford slowly walked him backwards as he jammed his finger several times into his chest.

"The damage done to this vehicle is evidence of the GRIEF we have had to go through to try and catch the Cannonballers!" Buford continued to yell. "So, don't you DARE cop an attitude with us! You would do very well to learn some respect for your elders! We were all veteran officers while you were still swimming around in your daddy's cojones! And, quite frankly, you are NOT projecting a good image for your country with that kind of behavior! You better watch it, son, or we'll let some influential friends back home think it's a bad idea to visit this country because of how rude and obnoxious the people are! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!"

Buford had spent all his rage and walked back to the Crusader. The cop looked stunned at the outburst he had received and humbly walked over to the Crusader as Buford got back behind the wheel.

"Sir, I'm very sorry about that." the cop meekly reported. "I didn't realize that you were here to do a very important job. On behalf of the entire police force of Australia, I apologize for the bad experience you've been having. I wish you luck in your efforts to stop the Cannonball Run. And, also, apologies for my earlier vulgarity."

"We accept your apology." Roscoe grinned and flashed a thumbs-up as a road train drove past them and the cop, negotiating its way past the blockage.

"Indeed." Buford agreed as he turned to the cop. "Now, f..."

The road train hooted its air-horn and drowned out the two-word insult that Buford uttered. Buford drove the Crusader away as the cop glared after them.

The SLF450X had finally come to a halt in a patch of bush near Tennant Creek. After getting their breath back, the Foyts gingerly got their seatbelts off and shakily climbed out of the jet car. They stood and made a few stretches and bends to limber themselves up again and began trekking once again.

After about ten minutes, they found themselves on the outskirts of the town. They saw a roadhouse advertising itself as the First & Last Chance Saloon.

"I definitely need a drink after that." Alice sighed.

"Seconded." Janice agreed.

As they crossed the road towards the roadhouse, they saw a group of five muscle cars parked nearby. There were a couple of Australian models but mostly imported American models. Most prominent was a matte black 1970 Dodge Challenger with yellow stripes on each side panel and a large hood scoop as a sign that the engine was "blown".

Alice tutted in annoyance. "More gearheads."

"Revheads." Janice corrected.

"Dickheads more like." Alice replied. "Well, if they don't mess with us, we won't mess with them."

The Foyts pushed open the front door and walked into the saloon.

Seeing that the place was not too busy, they each took a seat at the bar as the bartender walked over.

"What can I get you lovely ladies?" he beamed.

Alice took an Australian $20 bill out of her wallet and set it on the bar.

"Two Castlemaines, please. And keep 'em coming." she sighed.

"Will do." the bartender replied.

At a corner booth, there were five members of the Prime Movers sharing a table. Chief among them was a tall, slightly portly black-haired man whose name patch read 'Vern'. He talked with Mick on his cellphone.

"You sure about that, boss?" Vern asked Mick.

"If my cousin Petey says they may go through the Outback, he means it." Mick snapped on the other end. "You know we owe him. And we definitely owe the Cannonballers for making silly buggers out of us all. The Hooded Man, Mainbrain, and Wolfie are staying on the main roads just in case. So, you and the others get your arses out here now!"

"Right, boss." Vern answered as he hung up the phone, stood up and gestured for the other four Movers to follow him out of the saloon.

The Foyts had been served their beer and looked over their shoulders as the Movers exited the building.

"Think that's something to do with the Cannonball?" Janice asked.

Alice sighed again and took a pull off her drink. "Honey, right now, to paraphrase the slogan for this fine beverage we're having, I don't give a Four-X about the Cannonball."

Sonic drove the Doomsayer through the center of Tennant Creek.

"I was glad that your little trick took us thirty miles in the right direction." Mario jokingly grinned.

"So am I." Sonic replied.

"Now, if only we could make the car run as fast as you can..." Mario added.

"I doubt that's possible." Sonic reported. Just then, the Reckless and the Bonfire drove around them at high speed and left them way behind.

Sonic narrowed his eyes.

"Not that we can't give it a try." he growled as he upshifted, hit the nitrous and took off after the competition.

Alex drove the Debaser along the Stuart Highway, keeping an eye out for any more Cannonballers. The Megere suddenly came up behind him, swerved and overtook him at high speed.

Grinning, Alex P. picked up his CB and reported to Big Donnie.

"Someone just shot past me faster than a possum up a gumtree, boss. It must be a Cannonballer. I'm gonna take 'em out!"

"You do that." Big Donnie replied as Alex P. floored it and caught up to the Megere. David poured on the speed, but Alex was able to match him without much trouble and started to ride his back bumper.

The Hooded Man appeared on the highway behind the dueling car and truck on his motorcycle and grinned as he cherished the prospect of getting in on the "fun" himself.

David glared in the rear-view as Alex bumped his back bumper a few times.

"This guy is pissing me off!" David growled. "And he will NOT like me when I'm pissed off!"

"Are you gonna turn green?" asked Darryl.

"Don't get me started." David sternly warned.

"See if you can lose him in there." Elizabeth suggested as she pointed out a short dirt trail leading to an auto-wrecking yard off to the left of the highway.

David made a hard turn and drifted into it. He corrected the Megere and drove into the yard. Alex made the turn as well, but fell a bit behind. Nonetheless, he followed the Megere into the yard. The Hooded Man saw another entrance into the yard a few meters away through a hole in the fence and rode his bike towards it to try and head David's team off.

Alex worked hard to catch up with the Megere, but David was able to swerve around the scores of wrecked cars better than he could. After they drove around the circumference of the yard, the Hooded Man shot through the hole in the fence and got ready to move against them.

David was able to avoid him by making a sharp turn. Alex made the same turn a few seconds later just as the Hooded Man made his move a fraction too late. The Debaser fishtailed and knocked the front wheel of the bike.

The Hooded Man and his bike fell over as Alex kept chasing the Megere back towards the entrance to the yard. The Hooded Man glared after Alex.

"NOBODY does that to my ride!" the Hooded Man growled as he picked up his bike, righted it, and got back on.

The Megere was nearly to the entrance to the yard again. Elizabeth looked ahead and saw a twelve-ton tow truck with a junked car attached to its hook parked near the entrance and got an idea.

"Keep going, honey!" she instructed David. "I'm gonna try my new party trick again."

Elizabeth leapt out of the Megere and possessed the tow truck. As she started its engine, the Megere shot out of the yard and back up the dirt road to the highway. As the Debaser caught up, Elizabeth moved the two truck to block his way.

Alex hit the brakes and tried to back up whilst turning to the left. He backed up a bit more and heard a "thump" as the rear end of the Debaser rose slighly upwards. He tried to move forward, but the rear wheels were above the ground and couldn't get traction.

He failed to realize that he had backed into the car crusher. Elizabeth noticed and decided to see if her "trick" could work on other machines as well. She leapt from the tow truck to the crusher and began to start it up.

Alex heard the machine humming and saw a shadow start to appear in his rear view as the jaws of the crusher came down and started to go to work on the truck bed of the Debaser.

"STREWTH!" he yelled in horror as he quickly undid his seatbelt and jumped out.

Elizabeth let him get clear as she moved the floor of the crusher and caused the rest of the Debaser get pulled into the crusher's jaws and get slowly compacted. Alex looked very annoyed, but glad of his lucky escape. He then heard a motorcycle revving aggressively and saw the Hooded Man sitting about forty feet away from him, looking for payback for Alex's dinging of his bike earlier.

As the Hooded Man shot towards him at high speed, Alex jumped out of the way and made a break for it. The Hooded Man wiped out and fell from his bike as it went skidding up the ramp and into the crusher's jaws.

The Hooded Man yelped in horror and ran to try and pull his bike out of the crusher. It was too late as the front wheel had already been crushed. He tried to pull the rest of the bike free, but it was a vain effort as the crusher's floor moved again and pulled the rest of the bike under the jaws and crushed both the Debaser and the bike into scrap.

"Shit, shit, SHIT!" the Hooded Man yelled in frustration.

A few miles down the road, David and Darryl cast glances behind them. David then looked up to the rear-view mirror and saw Elizabeth suddenly appear in it.

"WHOA!" he exclaimed with a little shock and then calmed down. "I wish you wouldn't do that sometimes."

"Sorry." shrugged Elizabeth who now appeared in the back seat. "But the bad guys won't be bothering us for a while. They don't have wheels to do so with any more."

"Thanks, sweetheart." David grinned as they drove on.

Race Central...

"It's been confirmed now that most of our racers are in the Northern Territory of Australia and into the final leg of the continent." Ron reported.

"Whatever Lara's doing to clear her name, I hope she does it soon." Veronica added. "But we well know how resourceful she and her team-mates are by now."

"Well, whatever she does, we're behind her every step of the way." Lazlow beamed.

"The action never lets up in the Cannonball." Misty cheered. "Speaking of, I am now the proud owner of a learner's permit. Maybe when I get my full licence, I may enter the Cannonball myself. In fact, my sister Daisy has already agreed to help me prepare for such an eventuality by signing me up for the driving course she took."

"Oh yeah. Your sister played the title role in 'High-Speed Hannah', didn't she?" asked Lazlow. "That was a hell of a fun movie."

"Well, she really did her own driving." Misty confirmed. "She took a lot of classes to prepare for her movie career as she doesn't want to be seen just as another pretty face who gets by on her looks."

"Is she planning on making any more movies?" asked Ron.

"She's hoping to play an action role where she gets to kick ass at other things than driving." Misty reported. "She's coming along well in Krav Maga classes."

"Sounds like a real threat." Veronica mused. "I take it she's not one to be scoffed at?"

"Just ask the last guy who accused her of bleaching her hair." Misty good-naturedly warned.

"Why? What happened to him?" asked Ron.

"Let's just say he has to wait until his jaw's no longer wired before he thinks of dissing anybody again." Misty grinned.

"Right." Veronica chuckled nervously. "Anyway, we once again wish good luck and Godspeed to our racers."

"In the meantime, watch this space and stay classy, Cannonball fans." Ron saluted as they signed off.

Priss rode the Streetfighter as she scouted ahead in the Northern Territory for the Cannonballers who hadn't accompanied Lara through the Outback.

Things had been quiet for her so far, but as she got a look ahead of her, she saw that was about to change. Just up ahead of her were Mainbrain and Wolfie driving in the former's 323. Priss instantly recognized their gang colors. She decided to take care of the two before they caused any trouble.

Priss popped a wheelie and roared past the 323.

"Bloody hell!" Wolfie yelled. "It's that bikie slag that dissed us earlier. Get after her!"

"Right!" grinned Mainbrain as he floored the accelerator and took off after Priss as they entered the small town of Elliott.

Priss went over a slight rise in the road and went airborne for a few seconds before landing safely. Mainbrain failed to make the same jump and some sparks came out from the 323's undercarriage as it came down roughly. That slowed the two Movers down a bit.

Priss roared through the parking lot of the Elliott Store gas station/supermarket as pedestrians scattered to get out of her way. She was able to avoid an accident and gained more ground by cutting through the lot to the other end as Mainbrain didn't dare follow her.

She got on another street and drove off. Mainbrain took the long way around the parking lot and got onto the same street Priss had ended up on.

The Movers looked around to try and find Priss. They heard her engine revving and caught sight of her up ahead of them as she did a burnout and drove through a narrow alley between two houses. It was just big enough for her and the Streetfighter to fit it, so Mainbrain was forced to take a long way around again.

Priss waited for the 323 to catch up with her and then did a burnout once again, towards the shores of Lake Woods. As Mainbrain gained ground on her and was about to knock her back wheel, she performed a quick turn off to the left.

Mainbrain was unable to course correct in time and the two Movers yelled in frustration as the 323 crashed into the waters of Lake Woods. As the car began to sink, the Movers undid their seatbelts and swan for shore.

"Are you SURE your handle's not just a sick joke?!" Wolfie snapped at Mainbrain.

Priss raised her helmet's visor and mimed a kiss with her mouth. She then closed the visor and rode off.

"Scratch two Prime Movers, guys." she reported to her friends over her helmet headset.

"Any trouble?" Charlie Croker replied.

"Oh ye of little faith." Priss chided as she made her way out of Elliott.

Just to the south of Dunmarra, Big Donnie was getting concerned as he realized he had not had a progress report from Alex P. since the latter had earlier reported his pursuit of a Cannonballer and had not confirmed either success or failure.

"Alex, are you still out there? Come in." said Big Donnie into his CB. "Alex, come in! Can you hear me?"

The radio came on. "My name's not Alex." said Jesse James. "But can I help you anyway?"

"Who is this?" asked Big Donnie.

"This is Jesse James. Didn't you ever watch 'Monster Garage'?"

"I don't think we got that down here." said Big Donnie. "What do you want?"

"I want to see you hauled away in cuffs." said Jesse.

"Do you really think you can take the Velouria?" asked Big Donnie.

"Velouria?" asked Jesse. "The most dangerous gangster in Australia is a Pixies fan?"

"He's a Pixies fan who's making his escape." said Big Donnie.

"Shoulda guessed that." said Jesse. "Where is my mind?"

"Funny blighter." said Big Donnie.

He drove past a dirt road where Jesse had parked the Ignition. He started it and took off after Big Donnie.

Big Donnie checked his rearview and saw the Ignition.

"Should I?" asked Jesse.

"Go ahead." said Tombstone.

"Yeah, do it." said Body Drop.

Jesse picked up the CB microphone and said "Hey, Big Donnie. Here comes your man."

"Here goes your man." said Big Donnie as he hit the accelerator.

"This should be fun." said Body Drop.

They raced around a turn and came upon a road crew. One man dug a ditch while nine others stood around talking.

Big Donnie swerved around the road crew. Jesse swerved towards a ditch and jumped the Ignition off of a pile of dirt. He cleared the ditch and got back on Big Donnie's tail.

"Crazy ratbag, you are." said Big Donnie.

"Yeah, I saw them digging for fire." said Jesse.

"See this." said Big Donnie. He steered onto a dirt road.

Jesse followed. They continued down the dirt road a bit until they came upon a pair of police cars which turned and blocked the road. Big Donnie got through, but Jesse swerved to the right and off the road.

"Nice try, Mr. James." said Big Donnie into his radio. "But it seems I have the hand this time."

The Ignition passed between a pair of trees and smashed through a fence.

"Better hope you have a hand." said Jesse. "I'm about to unleash a wave of mutilation."

"I knew he'd say that sooner or later." muttered Big Donnie.

They turned left and passed through a covered bridge.

"This chase is getting destructive." said Tombstone.

"Well, there's one guy I'd like to destroy." said Jesse.

They came around a turn to find the road split around a barn. Both sides had been blocked off by the police.

"Oh, krikey, I don't think they're in my pocket." said Big Donnie.

He raced right for the roadblock and smashed through a barrier. A spike strip punctured his tires, bringing him to a halt.

Jesse swerved for the barn and smashed through the door. He drove through and smashed through the other side.

He steered towards the disabled Velouria and parked next to the driver's side window. "Looks like this monkey's gone to heaven." he said and took off.

"These guys are gunning for you too!" yelled Big Donnie as the cops ran for his door.

"What did he mean they're gunning for us too?" asked Tombstone.

"We're Cannonballers." said Jesse.

"Yeah, I know it's easy to forget with all the distractions." said Body Drop.

Another pair of police cars swerved towards each other to form a roadblock.

"Hang on." said Jesse.

He steered towards another dirt pile and jumped the police car.

"Maybe we can go this way." said Jesse as he crashed through a fence and jumped off another ramp onto the road.

He saw another pair of police cars racing towards him and immediately spun around. He raced back the way he came.

They saw a washed out bridge. The two sides had been twisted in opposite directions.

"Oh no." said Tombstone.

"You can't be serious." said Body Drop.

"I never am." said Jesse.

He raced for the bridge. He raced up one side, launched off while rolling in the air, and landed on the other side.

"And that's how it's done." said Jesse.

Back outside of Tennant Creek, several SUVs with the Banzai Institute logo pulled up to the stationary SLF450X. Buckaroo had reviewed the footage from the monitors back at the bunker and had seen that the Foyts had earlier appropriated the vehicle.

Rawhide looked over the SLF. "No sign of them, boss." he reported.

Buckaroo looked down at the ground and saw the uneasy footprints the Foyts had made as they had left the vehicle.

"Looks like they made it out okay." Buckaroo sighed. "I just hope no psychological damage was done."

"Well, Commander Foyt was never really all there to begin with." Rawhide chuckled.

"On the plus side, the omnithruster is still doing well with all the new adjustments." Buckaroo nodded. "Let's wait a while before I do the manned run, though."

"Good idea." Rawhide agreed.

Mick now drove Vern's Challenger through the Outback as Vern rode shotgun. The Butcher's Ute and the other four cars from Tennant Creek were part of the group as well.

Vern looked through binoculars and saw a pair of dust trails off in the distance. "Boss." he warned as he got Mick's attention.

Mick pulled to a brief halt and looked through the binoculars. He saw Emmylou and the Brawler were the sources of the dust trails as Charlene and April made their way to Darwin through the Outback.

"Two for the price of one!" Mick grinned as he gave the binoculars back to Vern and signaled for the rest of the Movers to intercept and attack the two distant vehicles.

As April kept pace with Charlene, she cast a casual glance to her right and saw the Movers moving in fast to attack.

"We've got company!" April warned Charlene over the CB. "Looks like it's those jerk racers you warned us about."

"No worries, April. Just follow my lead." grinned Charlene as she poured on the speed.

April had no problem keeping up as the Movers got right on their tails.

Charlene turned a hard left and drove down a sloping dirt trail leading to a lower area of ground. April followed with the Movers keeping up pursuit.

Mick grinned and signaled for the other Movers to form a circle and box the two ladies in as Charlene and April began to do donuts in the middle of the "circle".

After a few seconds, Mick frowned as it dawned on him that the two ladies were deliberately kicking up trail dust with their actions and reducing visibility.

"I can't see shit!" one of the other Movers yelled.

"Join the club!" Vern sarcastically snapped into the CB.

"Hang on, boss! I saw 'em! I'm goin' for it!" the Butcher yelled.

"Right behind ya, mate!" another Mover replied

The remaining vehicles confirmed they were making a move as well.

Mick stayed put and hurriedly picked up the CB when he heard them gunning their engines.

"WAIT, ya bloody drongos!" he yelled into the CB. "It's a trick! You'll..."

A few seconds later, there were the sounds of crashes and twisting metal.

"...crash into each other." Mick finished sheepishly as he facepalmed himself. "I'm dealing with morons."

As the dust cleared, Mick and Vern saw the other five vehicles had indeed crashed into each other and done a lot of damage to each other in their hurry to take out Emmylou and the Brawler. The other Movers were injured, but not too seriously. The same couldn't be said for their vehicles.

Charlene had now pointed Emmylou to face the Challenger head on. She revved her engine a few times. Mick rose to the challenge and did the same. After a few tense seconds, Charlene and Mick raced towards each other in a game of chicken. Neither one of them showed signs of backing off.

"OI!" Vern yelled at the last second as he grabbed the Challenger's steering wheel and jerked it to the right.

The Challenger had avoided the collision and Charlene now turned Emmylou hard left and raced back up the slope with April following close behind her.

"Why did you do that, ya daft bugger?!" Mick yelled as he thumped Vern's arm.

"Don't forget it's my ride!" Vern indignantly shot back.

Mick grunted in anger and turned the Challenger around to try and race off after Charlene and April. April had lingered a bit at the top of the slope and spun the Brawler's rear wheels a bit to dig deep ruts in the ground at the very top. April honked her horn mockingly and took off as the Challenger made its way up the slope. The front wheels of the black muscle car ended up falling into the deep ruts April had cut with her tires and the Challenger came to a halt.

Mick angrily tried to get some traction, but ended up digging some ruts of his own with the rear wheels of the Challenger. The rear wheels sank into the rear ruts and the Challenger ended up completely stuck at the top of the slope. Mick cursed a blue streak as Emmylou and the Brawler sped off and left the Movers far behind.

"You sure it's the others who are morons?" Vern chided him.

"So much for that." April cheered. "How far to Darwin now?"

"About an hour or less." Charlene replied through the CB. "You better give Chief Pearce a buzz on that number Charlie Sierra gave us so she'll be expecting us."

"With pleasure." April smirked.

The CRAP team finally had some luck as they navigated the back roads off the main highway and came across the Harbinger and the Fleetline still having their unofficial race against each other.

Buford still drove the Crusader and caught up to the two evading cars.

Roscoe looked a bit concerned as a loud knocking sound began to issue from the Crusader's engine.

"Buford, are you sure about this?" he questioned.

"Don't wuss out now, Roscoe! We got these a-holes dead to rights!" Buford snapped back. "Junior, use the beanbag gun!"

Junior hit the switch for the beanbag gun. It had jammed because of the damage the Crusader had suffered earlier. Junior then tried the switches for both the auto taser and the machine guns in turn but found that they had jammed as well.

"I think the harpoon's still working, daddy." he reported.

"Well even if we just get one of these sumbitches, it'll be a result." Buford replied as he lined the Crusader up about thirty feet behind the Harbinger.

"Get ready, Junior." Buford cautioned as Junior got ready to press the button.

Trikz had a good idea of what the CRAP team was about to try and made plans himself as they approached a small area of tree growth.

"NOW!" Buford yelled.

At the last second, Trikz jerked the Harbinger's wheel to the left as the harpoon shot out.

The harpoon hit a tree instead as Trikz mockingly saluted in the rear-view and followed the Fleetline away.

Buford and Junior had registered the sudden change a fraction of a second too late as Buford hit the Crusader's brakes and caused the harpoon's line to jerk. This caused the small but wide tree the harpoon was in to fall down and hit the Crusader's hood.

The Justices and Roscoe glared as the Harbinger and Fleetline went on their way.

"Congratulations, you lugnuts." Roscoe deadpanned.

A hissing sound now came from the Crusader's engine bay and steam began to come out of it as well.

"That finally settles it!" Roscoe snapped as he put his foot down. "We're getting this piece of crap fixed!"

"But..." Junior began.

"But nothing, you dipstick!" Roscoe yelled back at him.

"Yes, sir." Buford and Junior chorused in defeat.

On a stretch of the Stuart Highway just outside Darwin, Chief Doyle and his officers laid in wait with their roadblock. Squad cars and police SUVs were parked in clusters along the road for about one hundred feet. There was going to be no easy way through for any vehicle.

Chief Doyle observed all of his officers were ready as they all shouldered carbine rifles and shotguns. He couldn't help but give an evil smile.

About half a mile away, Priss had spotted the roadblock and was watching it through binoculars.

"This could get messy, guys." she reported over her headset. "We better hope that April and Charlene have come through."

"Let us worry about that, Priss." Nina replied. "You take the long way around our little surprise did to get past the block earlier and we'll see you on the other side."

"10-4." Priss replied as she drove off on an alternative route into the city.

April and Charlene sat in the office of Darwin police chief Irene Pearce. Chief Pearce was a short-haired, professional-looking blonde woman wearing a white women's business suit with a navy blue blouse and black tennis shoes.

She used her computer to look over the evidence of Big Donnie's operations which April had acquired back at the mansion. It included extensive details of his deals with Chief Doyle and the bribes which Doyle had taken.

Lyle had also copied and pasted the intercepted Skype call between Big Donnie and Doyle he had saved on his laptop earlier. Chief Pearce looked extremely satisfied.

"You ladies have no idea how pleased I am right now." she grinned. "Doyle has been a condescending, sexist blighter to me for who knows how long. And I always got the impression he's been up to no good but could never prove it. Him coming into my territory and stepping on my toes with that roadblock got my dander up as well. I can't wait to see him try to explain himself when we confront him with this stuff.

"Oh, I'm glad that he'll soon be getting his dues too." April grinned. "He was a jerk to me as well."

"He's a jerk to just about everyone." Pearce replied. "I think I'll see to it that some of the news media are notified in advance."

"Would you like it even more if we delivered Doyle to you gift wrapped?" asked Charlene.

"If you can pull that off, it would make a very satisfactory day at the office for me." Pearce smirked.

"I have a feeling that Doyle's ego is so massive that it just might be possible." Charlene grinned.

About twenty miles away from Darwin, the Vulcano, Cowboy, and Utopia drove out of the Outback and back onto the Stuart Highway as they had planned earlier.

Memphis' team and the Drake's team had decided to accompany Lara's team through the Outback whilst everybody else elected to take the main road.

Joanna drove the Vulcano as Sway drove the Cowboy and Ron had taken a turn driving the Utopia.

"Okay. Let's do this." Joanna sighed as the three vehicles began to make their approach to Darwin and towards the roadblock twenty miles away.

Anna picked up the CB. "Are you ready, big fella?" she asked into it.

"10-4." a resonant but mellow voice replied.

"Remember, not until we give the signal." Anna ordered.

"That's affirmative."

A horn honked and they saw the Ambitious driving up behind them as Team Bluth had finally caught up with them.

"Mind if we join the fracas?" Michael asked over the CB.

"The more, the merrier." Sway replied. "Just be warned. Things could get hairy."

"You are aware of the relatives I have to deal with on a regular basis and how they behave, right?" Michael mischeviously replied.

"Tobias, what are you wearing?" asked the Drake.

"What's wrong with my outfit?" Tobias defensively asked.

"Nothing. You look really cool." the Drake answered. He quickly put down the CB as he and his team sniggered to themselves as they drove on.

Roscoe drove the Crusader as fast as it could still go through the town of Katherine as his team headed to a garage they had been directed to upon entering the city.

Buford and Junior looked nervous as the damaged truck's engine began to whine in protest.

"Shouldn't you slow it down?" asked Junior.

"Yeah! I don't think the engine can take much more." Buford added.

"Don't matter!" Roscoe cheered. "We're nearly there! We need to get this bucket of bolts fixed and back on the road as fast as we can!"

"Watch it!" yelled the Justices as they both pointed ahead of them.

The garage they were headed to was just ahead on the left side of the street. Just across the street was an apartment block under construction. A flatbed truck was parked near the site and the workers were just attaching a long, large, and heavy steel girder to the boom of a crane with some chains.

Roscoe was able to slip past the truck by the skin of his teeth and park in front of the garage.

"Stupid blighters!" one of the workers yelled at the CRAP team's narrow escape. He then signalled for the crane to start to raise the girder towards the upper floors of the apartment block. "Careful. It has a bit of a list to the right there."

The CRAP team got out of the Crusader and walked towards the entrance to the garage. They found that it was locked. There was a hand-written sign in one of the windows which read "back in 10 minutes".

"Goddamn it!" Roscoe hissed in frustration.

"Well, it's not too bad." Buford sighed. "I doubt our ride could get more beat to shit than it already is."

"It's slipping! Look out!" the foreman yelled from across the street.

The CRAP team stiffened and quickly turned around.

The girder had indeed slipped from the crane's boom and dropped towards the street.

There was nothing Roscoe and the Justices could do as the girder landed on the Crusader and completely flattened it into junk.

After a beat of a few seconds, Buford clenched his fists, closed his eyes, and began to hum to himself like a Buddhist monk meditating.

"Should we join in?" asked Roscoe.

"It would be wise. It'll calm us down." Junior confirmed as he and Roscoe followed suit with the Zen routine to try and calm themselves down.

After about five seconds, Roscoe opened his eyes wide and let out a horrified scream.

"WE'RE DEAD! BAXTER'S GONNA MURDER US!" he screamed.

Buford and Junior ran over to him.

"Roscoe! Snap out of it!" Buford commanded.

"HOW CAN I?!" Roscoe yelled. "WE JUST DESTROYED A ONE OF A KIND AND VERY EXPENSIVE PUSUIT VEHICLE! WE ARE DEADER THAN DILLINGER! THEY'RE GONNA..."

Junior slapped Roscoe's face and Roscoe immediately calmed down.

"Thanks, Junior. I needed that." he sighed. "But don't do it again."

"Okay." Junior nodded.

"We should call it in." Buford confirmed.

"Can we go for coffee first?" Roscoe asked.

"Sure." Buford nodded.

"And donuts." Roscoe added. "I think I need to throw my diet out the window right now."

"Understandable." the Justices chorused.

A member of Doyle's unit by the name of Larkin drove along the Stuart Highway towards Darwin when he heard several horns honking behind him. He looked and saw the Vulcano and the other three Cannonball teams coming up behind him. He picked up the radio.

"Chief, if I tell you something you won't think I've been at the tubes will ya?"

"What do you have to tell me?" Doyle testily snapped back.

"There's no sign of the green Murcielago, but there's a black one behind me honking its horn." Larkin reported.

The Vulcano swerved around his squad car and overtook him as Lara and Nina waved to him.

"Correction: it's just passed me and it has four great-lookin' sheilas in it!" he added.

"Is it Croft?" Doyle excitedly asked.

"It is!" Larkin confirmed as the Cowboy, Utopia, and Ambitious all overtook him as well. "And she's got company! I think it's most of those blighters who broke them out back in Canberra!"

"There are some more units heading your way! They'll be behind you in a few seconds!" Doyle cautioned. "Lead those bastards towards the block! We'll have their arses for good and all this time!"

"Roger that!" Larkin answered as he turned on his siren. Sure enough, four more squad cars came up on the road behind him and joined the pursuit. They had been following the Cannonballers for a few miles. With Larkin added to their number, they spread out and made sure that they were covering the lanes of the highway to block the way in case the Cannonballers tried to double back.

At the roadblock, Doyle and his other officers took up armed positions with their rifles and shotguns and got ready to bring their prey to a halt.

The Vulcano, Cowboy, Utopia, and Ambitious all approached the roadblock and slowed down as Doyle's squad got ready to play hardball.

"Give me an excuse, ya slag!" Doyle nastily whispered to himself as he shouldered his own rifle.

"Anyone else got a case of deja vu?" Nina asked.

"I don't think these guys have harpoons, though." Lara added.

The five squad cars to their rear blocked the other way so the Cannonballers were sandwiched in. Doyle could almost certainly taste victory now.

Anna lifted up the CB.

"We are Real Bad Mothers." she spoke into it.

Doyle glared triumphantly for a few more seconds to try and psych the Cannonballers out. He then began to raise a megaphone to his lips.

Just before he could speak, he and his officers heard the roar of a powerful diesel engine coming from behind them. They turned and were shocked to see Megaweapon crest a rise behind them at high speed and roar with great speed towards the empty squad cars and SUVs they had set up for the roadblock.

"Mother-FATHER!" Doyle yelled to himself.

Most of his officers turned their guns towards Megaweapon and opened fire in the hope of stopping him. Naturally, the hail of bullets didn't even scratch the sentient truck as he plowed into the blockade vehicles. They were knocked to the side and reduced to junk almost instantly. A few of them even exploded as the gas tanks blew.

Megaweapon showed no signs of slowing down as Doyle and his team scattered to avoid getting run over.

"Thank God he moves faster in the real world than he did in that movie." the Sphinx stated about Megaweapon.

"What do you expect? Movies are bullshit." Ron added over the CB.

"Gate's open, guys and gals!" Megaweapon cheered as he had cleared the way and steered around the four Cannonballer cars. He headed towards the five rear block squad cars, blasting some jets from his flamethrowers to keep them at a distance. Larkin and the four other officers abandoned their cars and ran for cover as Megaweapon bore down on them.

"Here we go!" Joanna grinned as she and the others peeled rubber up the highway, steering around the junked cop vehicles and headed into Darwin.

Anna texted April to let them know they had made it through. About twenty seconds later, April sent a text back telling them where to head to in the city.

As the Cannonballers slipped through, Doyle angrily got to his feet and raised his rifle.

He fired a volley of shots in the direction Lara's team and the others had gone, but they were well out of range now.

"SHIIIIIIIIIT!" he furiously roared.

Megaweapon had gone on his way after wrecking most of the rear block squad cars. Larkin's car had been spared.

Doyle motioned for his assistant to follow him to the squad car. He yanked open the driver side door.

"OI!" Larkin yelled in protest from the side of the road.

"SAVE IT!" Doyle yelled back at him as he raised a warning finger.

Doyle's assistant got in on the passenger side and he and Doyle slammed their doors shut.

Doyle put the car in gear and took off after his quarry.

Belize...

Sissy, Chrissy and Missy all mopped their brows with rags as they had finished their repair job on the Zentorno.

"At long last." sighed Chrissy.

Missy frowned suddenly. "Hang on. There's a dent in it."

"Where?!" Sissy asked.

"Just there." Missy pointed to just above the left front wheel well. The dent was no bigger than a golf ball, but still very noticeable.

"Typical." Sissy grumbled to herself.

"No prob." Chrissy assured her as she went over to the tool chest and took out a small hammer. "A gentle, little tap from this'll straighten it out."

Chrissy knelt down and tapped a little at the dented area.

"Oops." she said as the dent failed to straighten out. "I didn't mean to do that. I'll just tap it the other way."

"Are you sure about this?" Sissy asked with concern.

"It'll be fine." Chrissy irritatedly muttered. "I'd feel a lot better if you two weren't standing over me like a teacher."

Missy looked at her watch.

"It's lunch time anyway." she announced. "Come on, Sis. We'll go to Mooby's and leave Chris to it."

"Fine." Sissy sighed as she followed Missy out.

"Bring me back a Cow Tipper meal." Chrissy called after them as she continued tapping at the Zentorno.

Doyle drove the squad car through Darwin, keeping an eye out for the Vulcano. He was rewarded when it suddenly roared out of a side street and Joanna honked the horn mockingly. Doyle and his assistant grinned as they took off after the Vulcano.

After a pursuit of about two minutes, the Vulcano pulled to a halt in front of the main police headquarters for the city. The Cowboy, Utopia, and Ambitious were already parked there with their teams standing nearby. On the front steps of the building stood Chief Pearce along with several of her officers and a cluster of reporters. A laptop was hooked up to a big screen above the entrance to the building with a sound system set up. A police technician manned this set-up.

Doyle and his assistant pulled to a halt themselves and got out of the squad car. He couldn't help but look smug.

"Throwing your lot in with these felons, Pearce?" he asked. "Your career is going down the crapper now for sure."

"Correction, Peter: YOUR career is the one that's over." Pearce grinned as she gave the tech manning the laptop a nod. The tech pressed play on the video file of Doyle and Big Donnie's Skype call and it played on the big screen and over the sound system, loud enough for everybody to hear.

Doyle's face turned pale as he heard it.

"And that's not all." Pearce continued as the clip ended. She nodded again and the tech played several more audio files that had been contained in the evidence folder proving Doyle's collaboration with Big Donnie. Doyle looked increasingly smaller as his corruption was laid bare.

The tech next showed visual files that showed the payoffs made into Doyle's accounts by Big Donnie. Doyle's assistant slowly sidled away from Doyle and joined the Cannonballers on the sidewalk as Lara's team got out of the Vulcano and smirked.

"No comment, Peter?" Pearce smugly asked.

Before Doyle could reply, his police radio came on and Big Donnie's voice came over it.

"Chief Doyle! It's Big Donnie! I was picked up by this bogan highway patrol! The buggers finally let me use the police radio! You'd better put that frame job on hold and get me out of this. Ya think I pay you off to sit on your arse all day long?! Don't forget that I have blackmail material. I can nail yer arse to the wall if I go down!"

Doyle sighed deeply and picked up the radio. "Blackmail is a bit pointless right now, boss." he hoarsely said into the radio. "And you just did nail my arse and your own to the wall."

"Indeed." Lara smirked as she came over with her hands on her hips. "As police officers in my homeland would say: you're nicked, sunshine."

Pearce motioned to two of her officers to take Doyle into custody as he stiffly turned around and put his hands behind his back.

"So, it was a frame-up with Lady Croft's team." Doyle's assistant groaned as he tried to get to grips with what had been revealed.

"Yes, it was." the Sphinx patiently replied.

"And the Cannonball isn't a front for a drug ring." the assistant continued.

"No, it isn't." Michael patiently added. "It's true that there are some Cannonballers who come across as being high most of the time, but our only real crime is speeding."

"And, to our knowledge, there isn't a country on the globe that has that listed as a capital offence." the Drake added.

"And my boss has been on the take all this time." the assistant finished.

"Yup." Sway nodded.

"But what about this picture?" asked the assistant as he held up the picture he had saved to his phone. "We found it in the Cannonball computer network and we assumed it was a drop-off point for the drugs."

The Drake took the phone and looked at it. "Well, this I can't explain." he said.

Tobias came over and had a look at the picture. "Wait, you thought this was landscape?" he asked.

"Of course." said the assistant. "We've got cartographers looking over numerous maps to the country trying to determine where this is."

"These are balls." said Tobias.

Everyone looked at him strangely. "What?" asked the assistant. "Are you certain? We can see erosion and what we think are trees."

"No, I know this close they look like landscape." said Tobias. "But trust me, these are balls."

"He knows what he's talking about. I can vouch for that." Michael chipped in.

"But how..." muttered the assistant.

Ron suddenly looked very embarrassed.

(Flashback)

Ron's cell phone rang. "I got it." he said. He took it out of his jacket and popped it open. It slipped out of his hand and landed in the urinal. He picked it up and accidentally pressed the camera button.

(End flashback)

"Right." said the assistant as he looked embarrassed as well. "Well, thanks for clearing that up."

He facepalmed himself as Doyle was led away.

"We've been bloody idiots." he sighed to himself.

Memphis put on an exaggerated mocking expression on his face complete with bug-eyed and wide-mouthed toothy grin.

"You don't say!" he announced in a 'well, duh' style of voice.

Everybody else looked a bit unnerved by his performance. He quickly calmed down.

"Sorry." he laughed. "It just annoys me whenever someone states the blindingly obvious."

It had been announced that the route to Darwin was now completely clear and the rest of the Cannonballers made their way into the city.

As Brodie drove the Falcon, Jay and Silent Bob looked around in shock as Doyle's former unit tried to clean up the remains of their wrecked vehicles which Megaweapon had left in his wake.

"What the actual frack happened to those cops' rides?" Jay asked. "They look like they were chewed up and spat out."

Brodie shrugged. "Maybe it was the result of anxiety."

A powerful engine roared up behind them and overtook them. It was Mick driving the black Challenger by himself. He looked furious and swerved around all other Cannonballers and regular traffic as he entered Darwin.

"That guy looked pissed." Jay remarked.

"He's not in the race, so I doubt he's our problem." Brodie replied.

"Okay." Jay shrugged as he put his earbuds back in and began to sing along to his MP3 player. "My love for you is like a rock BER-SER-KER! Would you like to smoke some pot BER-SER-KER!"

"What are you saying?" asked Baxter over the phone.

"I'm saying that the Crusader has been smashed." said Buford. "Now, I'm not going to point fingers." he added while subtly pointing to Junior. "That's mostly because it was a complete accident."

"Fine." said Baxter. "Just get back to base. I'll think of something for you to do."

He hung up the phone and turned to Banner.

"The Crusader's been wrecked." he said. "I swear it's like their cars are played by Sean Bean."

"Surprised?" asked Banner.

"No, not at all." said Baxter. "Fortunately, I have a backup planned. Come with me."

They walked out to the garage.

"There it is." said Baxter.

They looked at a blue Ford F-450. The truck had five-spoke rims. The grille sported chrome teeth. The hood featured a power bulge. The cab had a frame at the back. The body color bumpers had air inlets and massive fuel tanks lined the sides. Semi-truck like exhaust stacks stood at the sides. A chrome brush guard adorned the front.

"That looks menacing." said Banner.

"It will be sure to be in many a Cannonballer's nightmare." said Baxter.

"Does that go for the name as well?" asked Banner.

"I'll let you be the judge." said Baxter. "I decided to name it after part of a gun. I decided to skip over the obvious ones, so I call it...the Compensator."

Banner stared at him for a second. "You are aware there's a second meaning to that word, right?"

"What?" asked Baxter. "Anyway, we need a new driver and that's where this guy comes in."

The door opened and LaFours walked in. Baxter and Banner watched him stroll across the room. He turned to them and grinned.

"He scares me." said Banner.

"He'll also scare the Cannonballers." said Baxter.

LaFours climbed into the Compensator and started it. He drove out of the garage.

"And he is off to Asia." said Baxter. "Oh. Now I see what you mean. Compensator."

At Pearce's police building, Priss had now joined up with Charlene and the others after laying low in the city for a few hours.

"You did great, Char." Priss grinned. "We really appreciated the help."

"It was the least I could do." Charlene shrugged.

"Heads up." Sway warned as she saw the black Challenger approaching. Mick slammed on the brakes and got out of the Challenger. He was about to storm towards Charlene when the Sphinx and Venom blocked his way.

"FISHER!" Mick yelled. "You're gonna pay for what you did!"

"Well, you're a big man, aintcha." Venom sneered. "Looking to rough up a woman."

Charlene came over to the group.

"If you really were the big shot you claim to be, you could have handled me and the Cannonballers, MICHAEL." she growled. "Accept it. My ride is better and I'm the better driver!"

Mick narrowed his eyes. "How about you put up or shut up?" he suggested. "We'll settle this once and for all. One race. Standing quarter. If you win, I hand over leadership of the Prime Movers to you. No if's, and's, or but's."

The Williams sisters looked stunned. "Are you serious?" they chorused.

"Dead serious." Mick nodded.

"You sure you can handle the loss?" Charlene asked.

"Are YOU?" Mick answered back. "Because I can think of plenty of things I could make you do if you lose."

Charlene held out her hand and shook Mick's hand.

"Deal." she announced.

"Buffalo Creek. An hour from now." Mick stated.

"I'll be there." Charlene nodded.

"Be sure to invite an audience." Mick nastily grinned.

"Oh, I will." Charlene answered.

At Race Central, Brock watched an Australian news broadcast along with J.J, Victor, and Mr. X. The headline "Cannonballers Exonerated" was run at the bottom of the screen.

"In a shocking twist of events, it has been confirmed that Lara Croft and her team were indeed victims of a frame operation orchestrated by known gangster Big Donnie Cannaglio." the female anchor announced. "In addition, irrefutable evidence has emerged that Canberra police chief Peter Doyle has secretly been in the employ of Big Donnie for a number of years and is now facing multiple charges of corruption."

"I'm glad this was being discussed when you called me." Brock jokingly chided Mr. X.

Meanwhile, a black-haired man watched the same broadcast while sitting on the couch and drinking a beer.

"Among the cases worked by Doyle was the sex scandal surrounding actor Paul Justice." said the anchor as a picture of the black-haired man appeared next to her. "Authorities say that due to Doyle's corruption charges, the investigation into the Justice scandal will begin anew."

The man spit out his beer and said "Ah, krikey!"

At the First and Last Chance Saloon in Tennant Creek, the same news broadcast appeared on the TV. The Foyts grumpily watched it as they sipped more Castlemaine.

A field reporter interviewed Chief Pearce and April O'Neil.

"It was because of the courage of Ms. O'Neil here that we were able to come into possession of the evidence." Pearce said.

"I've heard that you are being recommended for a civic award by the city of Darwin for this, Ms. O'Neil." the reporter stated. "You must be very proud."

"Well, I didn't act entirely alone." April said. "I got hold of the evidence, but my arrival in Darwin with it was facilitated by a very brave woman from Melbourne who is a friend of one of the Cannonballers, and it seems a friend of the Cannonball Run itself."

"Who was this?" asked the reporter.

"I can set up a future interview if you like." April assured. "But I understand she has some last outstanding business to take care of here in Darwin first."

"HEY! Turn that shit off!" Alice yelled.

"If you say so." the bartender grumpily sighed as he picked up the remote and turned the set off.

Janice stumbled over to the jukebox, put some change in it and selected a song.

She and Alice perked up a bit and started to bob their heads as "Good Times" by the Easybeats began to play and they drunkenly sang along with it.

The bartender shook his head. "If I wasn't getting paid a lot of money..." he thought to himself with regret.

Back in Belize, Sissy and Missy walked back into the garage. Missy held the bag with the meal they had brought back for Chrissy. As they entered, they still heard the hammer tapping gently.

"She still hasn't finished?" Sissy sighed in exasperation.

As both women got into the garage, their jaws dropped.

The Zentorno's entire body was now pockmarked with miniscule dents. The hood was hanging on loosely and curved slightly upwards, the roof was partially caved in, and the front and rear bumpers were in danger of falling off.

Chrissy stood up, looking very guilty.

"Hey." she said nervously. "I thought I had it straightened out at first, but it didn't look just right. You know what a perfectionist I can be at times. So, I just kept at it. And..."

She then shrugged and put down the hammer.

Sissy's expression remained calm, but her eyes were ablaze with fury.

"It looks worse than it is." Chrissy nervously assured her.

"It looks like I will get to add murder to my rap sheet after all." Sissy announced in a tone too calm to be sane.

"Sis. Think about this." Chrissy warned as she held up her hands. "You could get the death penalty."

"I have officially run out of shits to give." Sissy icily smiled.

Missy quickly dropped the bag and leapt up on Sissy's back, wrapping her arms around her neck in a sleeper hold.

Sissy angrily thrashed, trying to shake her off.

Chrissy ran forward and grabbed Sissy's mid-section to hold her still as she struggled and snarled. Within about thirty seconds, she submitted to the sleeper hold.

"She is a tense woman." Missy sighed.

Several of the Cannonballers had lined their vehicles up along a stretch of road in the Buffalo Creek suburb of Darwin. Mick sat there waiting in the Challenger. Also present were Eddie Riggs and several Ironheade roadies.

Priss walked over to them.

"Hey, Eddie." she greeted. "It took you some time to get here, huh?"

"There was a bit of difficulty with the airline." Eddie replied as he took a drag off his cigarette.

"I wonder why." Priss joked. "But I'm glad you made it to see this."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Eddie said. "You're not Charlene's only Life Invader friend, you know."

Eddie's walkie-talkie went off.

"Charlene's coming, boss." Mangus' voice came over it.

"Check." Eddie replied and nodded to the Roadies.

They turned on their speakers and Metallica's "Enter Sandman" started to play.

Mick glared to himself.

"Drama queen." he grumbled.

Sure enough, Charlene pulled onto the road in Emmylou and lined up on the left side of the Challenger. Nina stepped out into the road and made sure that both vehicles were lined up perfectly. The assembled Cannonballers cheered Charlene on as she and Mick revved their engines. After confirming that the road ahead was clear, Nina dropped her right hand and the Challenger and Emmylou took off on their race.

Mick pushed the Challenger for all it was worth, but within seconds Charlene got a good two-length lead on him.

Mick struggled to catch up, but it was no use. Charlene reached the end of the quarter-mile with little trouble and the Cannonballers cheered as she won.

Mick glared furiously as he caught up with Emmylou and he swerved to the left to try and sideswipe Charlene.

He hit her right rear quarter panel, but Emmylou didn't so much as wobble as Charlene got ahead of him again as he tried to move in for another attack.

As Mick missed hitting Emmylou by a fraction, the Challenger glanced off a parked car and went drifting off to the right of the road towards a VW Beetle.

Mick yelled in horror as the Challenger rode up the rear of the Beetle and went airborne.

"SHIT!" Eddie yelled as he signaled to the Roadies to follow him.

The Challenger landed on its front end and damaged its radiator and engine bay. It then rolled over a few times.

Charlene had stopped Emmylou and got out. She followed Eddie and the Roadies over to where the Challenger had finally stopped rolling at the side of the road.

The car had been trashed and smoke began to issue from under the hood.

Charlene reached the Challenger first and yanked the driver side door open. Mick was bruised and battered, but still alive.

She undid his seatbelt and gently pulled him out, helping him to stand as she did so.

Eddie and the Roadies reached the Challenger and used fire extinguishers to make sure the car didn't explode.

Charlene helped Mick over to a park bench on the sidewalk and helped him to sit down. He was still slightly dazed, but looked at her with a mixture of gratitude, admiration, and shame.

The assembled Cannonballers all walked over as well.

"You saved me." Mick said to Charlene as more of a statement than a question.

"Of course I did, ya daft blighter." Charlene gently remarked. "You really think I'd want you dead?"

Mick swallowed hard and sighed to himself.

"Then you ARE a better racer than me. And a better person." he admitted as he took his jacket off. He turned it around and ripped his name patch off the back. He then handed it to Charlene.

"A deal's a deal." he added. "You're now the Prez of the Prime Movers. And you've earned my respect...ten times over."

"Well, I'll be damned." Memphis remarked.

"So, you have no problem now with women being a part of the club?" Charlene asked.

"It's your call now, chief." Mick grinned.

The Cannonballers cheered as Charlene put the jacket on and found that it fit perfectly.

"Well done!" Priss cheered as she gave Charlene a thumbs-up. "I'm glad we got to see that."

"Don't you have a race of your own to get on with now, though?" Charlene teasingly asked.

"Good point." Michael Bluth chipped in. "Last I saw the Drake, he was headed for the bridge."

"I was wondering where he got to." Lara remarked.

"Glad to know good sportsmanship is one of his priorities." Sway sarcastically added.

"Okay. Let's go!" Priss yelled.

"Don't be a stranger, Priss!" Charlene called after her.

"I won't!" Priss called back.

The Drake drove the Utopia towards the bridge. Ron sat in the back, red-faced.

"Okay, recap." said Venom. "You took a picture of your 'nads with your cell phone, sent it out onto the internet, and it got us into trouble. Congratulations, you are now qualified to be a New York State congressman."

"Give me a break." Ron grumbled. "I bet I'm not the first person who had a mishap with his phone camera."

"He's right." the Drake chipped in. "One of my phones had a very sensitive touchscreen. I put it in my pants pocket and the camera ended up taking two dozen pictures of the inside of the pocket."

"Not exactly the same thing." Venom remarked. "I told ya that phone would cause you grief in the end."

"ENOUGH!" the Drake snapped. "E-fracking-nough, okay? Let's just get on with the race."

Race Central...

"Well, everybody, it has been confirmed that now Lara's name has been cleared, the Cannonball has reached the end of Australia at long last." Ron Burgundy reported.

"So, just one continent to go now." Veronica added. "But it still looks like it's anybody's guess who our winners this year could be."

"And now, to close out the continent, here once again are Bowling For Soup." Misty stated.

"With a little music by a great Australian band." Lazlow finished.

Bowling For Soup had taken the stage. Jaret counted down from five and they began to play.

That's the start, the middle, and the end.
Aren't you glad the universe pretends?
If I don't get this message home,
Once again I'm gonna hate alone.