Cannonball Run 7: High Speed Heroes

by BKelly95

Co-written by The Turbo Man. The Cannonballers have returned for another race around the world for a five hundred million dollar first prize. Who will rise? Who will fall? And who will win the Cannonball Run?

17. Wow, This Is a Pretty Swinging Bash

CANNONBALL RUN 7: HIGH SPEED HEROES by Bkelly95 and the Turbo Man

CHAPTER 17: 'Wow, this is a pretty swinging bash!"

DISCLAIMER: The usual stuff.

Race Central...

"It's now night time in the continent of Asia, Cannonball fans." Lazlow announced. "As a certain popular song from the '80's stated, the freaks come out at night. Except in this case the freaks in question are any bad guys or law enforcement officials who are desperate enough to make a last-ditch attempt at stopping the Cannonball as it is now in its final leg."

"We have no doubt that our gallant racers will be able to handle any problems which come their way. But we have been asked to extend a warning about the possible onset of driver fatigue by this stage." Misty chipped in.

"As you are no doubt aware, spending an extended amount of time driving without rest can have an effect on your senses and reaction times." Veronica added. "We know full well that our teams have been rotating drivers as they have kept going, but we urge all of our competitors to be safe out there."

"Symptoms have been known to include difficulty with focusing or remembering the last few miles you have driven. Also, feelings of restlessness and irritability." Lazlow continued.

"And in some extreme cases, daydreaming and/or hallucinations have been known to happen." Misty finished

"You know, I once suffered from hallucinations." said Lazlow.

"Really?" asked Misty.

"Oh yeah." said Lazlow. "I saw a doctor...there was no doctor."

"Thanks, guys." Ron Burgundy nodded. "So, Cannonballers, be sure to get some shuteye whenever you can. Your well-being is far more valuable at the end of the day than a race. Try to win, but try to stay safe as well."

"Our teams are now all in Indonesia which is the first leg of the Cannonball's route of Asia for this year, we once again urge them to both relax when necessary but to also keep their eyes on the road and their feet on the gas pedal." Veronica grinned.

"Our organizers have sent just about every helper we could spare into the field to help out with any trouble you may face." Ron confirmed.

"One of our bands has made the journey as well as the Bloodhound Gang are going to help out with the puzzle hunt in Asia." Misty remarked. "Also, President Harris is on his way to Asia as well for a diplomatic tour of China."

"Let's hope he doesn't try to introduce them to his unique sense of humor." Lazlow chuckled half-jokingly.

"And now, for everybody's listening pleasure, here are Franz Ferdinand once again with the back-up of Toni on keyboards." Veronica cheered as the audience applauded.

"As a point of clarification, this song is to remind the Cannonballers to pull out all the stops as they enter the final stretch. The race is about to get crazy, so we suggest that anyone with their eyes on the prize do the same." Alex Kapranos remarked as he counted down from five with his fingers.

Toni started on the keyboards and the rest of the band soon followed as the song began.

Get crazy!

Get crazy.
Do a striptease down the supermarket aisle.
Get crazy.
Tell your boyfriend that you`re pregnant, watch him smile.

I`m a modest sort of guy, kind of quiet, kind of shy.
That`s my jet that`s parked outside.
How about a little ride?

Get crazy.
Sell your sister to a sheik of Arabie.
Get crazy.
Spend the whole day without watching no TV.

And I`m staring at your knees.
And you`re staring at my keys.
And I`m staring at your heart.
What a lovely, lovely heart.

I can get you into TV.
Stick with me, you`ll win an Emmy.

Get crazy.

It`s a breach of natural law.
To say no and hem and haw.
When you know you want me bad.
Say goodbye to mom and dad.

Get crazy.
Get crazy.
Get crazy.
Get crazy.
Get crazy.
Get crazy.
Get crazy.
Get crazy.

It`s a breach of natural law.
To say no and hem and haw.
When you know you want me bad.
Say goodbye to mom and dad.

Get Crazy.
Do a swan dive from the top of Hoover Dam.
Get crazy.
Take a beehive when you go to Sunday Mass.

Get crazy.
Say you`re married to a tenor saxophone.
Get crazy.
Take a midnight stroll through Central Park alone.

Get crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy.

-"Get Crazy" by Sparks.

---

Indonesia...

Somewhere just outside of Bali, the Terrific had been pulled over.

"Well, that didn't take long." said Lyle.

"Look, just relax." said Charlie. "We'll just have a decent conversation with the nice police officer and get back on the road. It's nothing to worry about."

"That's assuming we don't start hallucinating." said Stella. "You heard that warning from Race Central."

"Yeah, what do you make of that?" asked Left Ear. "Something tells me we're more likely to start seeing things with that poison in our systems."

"I think they...and you guys...are being a little paranoid." said Charlie. "It's nothing the other Cannonballers haven't handled before. I'm sure these hallucinations aren't as serious as they're made out to be."

The police officer walked up to his window, so he rolled it down.

"Good evening, officer." said Charlie. "What seems to be the problem?"

The officer leaned down to the window. He turned out to be Chief Doyle. He held up a picture of Lara and asked "Have you seen this woman?"

"Oh shit!" yelled Charlie. He threw the car back into gear and raced off.

The Indonesian police officer watched him leave while holding up his ticket book.

---

Tommy parked in Bali and climbed out of the Yellow Bird. "Look, we have to switch up the drivers every once in a while." he said.

"Well, I'm not driving." said Carl. "I took over last time."

"I guess it's Claude's turn." said Tommy.

Claude nodded and climbed into the driver's seat. A mini-map appeared in the lower left corner of the screen. "Yellow Bird" appeared in the lower right corner.

Claude started to drive. A police car pulled out in front of him and he hit it. A pair of flashing white stars appeared in the upper right corner. A message reading "Lose the cops" appeared at the bottom of the screen.

Claude drove faster and screeched around a turn. Another pair of police cars blocked the road before him. He swerved down an alleyway and raced towards a mass of boards laying on a pile of culvert pipes.

He hit the boards and went flying in slow motion. He cleared a pair of police cars and landed on the street on the other side. A text reading "Stunt Jump Completed $100" appeared onscreen.

Claude cut through a parking lot and drove towards a police badge floating in mid-air. After he passed through it, one of the stars disappeared and a text reading "Police bribe collected" appeared.

After a couple of seconds, the other star disappeared and the message "Get out of the city." appeared.

"Claude!" yelled Carl.

Suddenly, the scene disappeared and Claude found himself sitting in the car.

"You alright, man?" asked Carl. "We've been sitting here for four damn minutes while you were pretending to drive."

Claude put the car in gear and drove off.

"Guys, could you please shut the hell up?" asked Tommy. "I'm trying to get some rest back here."

---

At a rest area along the highway outside Bali, DeMarco spoke to his assembled troops. Gathered with him now were the Killer Cars, Garthe Knight, Luther, the Golden Lords, and the Pollution Ministers.

Some more vehicles had been parked along with them. Garthe stood by a red '06 Dodge Charger with an elaborate body kit, twin hood ducts, louvers on the rear windows, and "fangs" on the grille.

Luther sat astride a red motorcycle with a rounded cowling, jet intake-like radiator, and four exhaust pipes. The Golden Lords each stood alongside a black '93 McLaren F1 whilst the Killer Cars had their regular vehicles. DeMarco stood beside a matte black '67 Shelby Mustang GT 500.

"Right, people. This is it. We have to strike first, strike hard and show no mercy at this point." DeMarco announced. "We can ill afford any more screw-ups at this point. So, let's all go kick ass!"

"Right." Simon nodded as the Lords and the Killer Cars all got into their vehicles.

Garthe looked amused at his car and Luther's bike.

"I didn't know that your friend Weston was into vampire shows." Garthe remarked. "Especially lame ones."

"Be grateful that the Nyte Blayde and the Bloody Canoness can cut it in a big way on the road." DeMarco chided him.

"I sure as hell am." Luther grinned as he put his helmet on and saddled up on the Bloody Canoness.

"What do you call your ride?" Yogostein asked.

"I'm an AC/DC nut, so I called it the Back In Black." DeMarco grinned. "So, what do you three have planned."

"We have a plan to both take out some Cannonballers and acquire a rather special car we have noticed in this race." Kegeleisa replied as she showed DeMarco a photo of the Black Knight which she had saved to her phone.

"Nice." DeMarco smirked. "Okay then. Vamos, amigos!"

---

Just outside of Jakarta, David drove the Megere at a decent clip.

"So, what did you make of that warning about driver's fatigue?" asked Darryl.

"I don't know." said David. "I mean we've been doing well so far. I can't imagine that anything would happen now."

"Don't be so sure about that." said Elizabeth. "I've treated a lot of patients who couldn't imagine anything would happen."

"Really?" asked David sarcastically.

"Trust me, I'm a doctor." said Elizabeth.

"David!" said Darryl. He pointed to the road ahead as it seemingly just disappeared, along with the surrounding area.

David came to a stop and looked at the road simply ending. He climbed out of the car and walked up to the end of the road. He looked over the edge and saw nothing. He reached forward and his hand touched an invisible barrier.

Snow began to fall. He looked around as the snow started to cover everything. He looked up and saw more snow coming down. He then realized he was in a giant snow globe.

Darryl held the snow globe in his hands, looked at it, and said "Righteous."

David came out of his hallucination and found himself touching a "Road Closed" sign.

"Uh, excuse me." said a construction worker. "We recommend that you not touch those."

"Oh, sorry." said David.

He walked back to the car and got in.

"Maybe I should drive for a while." said Elizabeth.

"You?" asked David.

"I don't think driver fatigue would be an issue in my current state." said Elizabeth.

"Let's hope you're right." said David.

---

At the Soekarno-Hatta International Airport in Jakarta, the CRAP cargo plane came in to land. Baxter and Banner were in the cargo bay along with Bullock, Montoya, Bender, Slater, Michaels, Masado, Virginia and Victoria. The Scarsdale, Evenflow, Speed Demon, Opus, and Orange Crush were all in the bay with them.

"Right, people. We've got to make our efforts count in this continent." Banner stated. "LaFours got into the city earlier in the Compensator and is searching for Cannonballers. We have no doubt that he'll succeed but we have to back up strategies all the way."

"Slater, Michaels. You'll be our Eagle Eyes for this one with the chopper we were able to get from NOOSE." Baxter added. "We keep a watch on these assholes from on high, we'll nail 'em for sure."

"Clouseau and Cato will be joining us later." Banner continued. "Buford's team are gonna sit this one out until the Crusader is repaired."

"Just be sure not to give it to Buford again when it is fixed." Victoria joked.

"Don't worry. We've learned our lesson about that." Baxter grimaced. "Okay then. You all have your vehicle assignments. Let's go hunting."

The other CRAP officers all nodded as the plane taxied to a halt and the cargo door opened.

---

"Okay, we are now taking applicants for the Asia puzzle hunt." announced Brock over the general Cannonball radio frequency.

He stopped talking and waited a couple of seconds. The phone rang.

"Now, who can that be?" he asked. He answered. "Race Central."

"Hey, guess who?"

"Drake! What a surprise!" said Brock.

"Care to guess why I'm calling?" asked The Drake.

"You're either checking in with the puzzle hunt or requesting some Creedence." said Brock.

"You guessed right on the former." said The Drake. "But the latter would be a good idea as well."

"Wonderful." said Brock. "Hold on, we have some competition for you."

"This is Team Bam calling in for the puzzle hunt." said Bam.

"Wait, Team Bam?" said Tony. "Why not Team Hawk?"

"Humor him." said Torquenstein.

"This is Giovanni calling to enter Team Rocket into the puzzle hunt."

"This is Lara. We're calling for the puzzle hunt. Sounds like fun."

"This is Stone Cold. We are going for the puzzle hunt."

"This is Tommy Vercetti calling to register for the puzzle hunt."

"Good, that's six." said Brock. "I'm sending each of you GPS co-ordinates for a special location we have set up in the city of Phuket in Thailand. Head there for your first challenge right away."

"Got it." said Tommy.

"Good job Beavis and Butthead aren't taking part this time." Bam joked. "If they saw how the city's name is spelled they'd be giggling like morons."

"So what else is new?" Jessie cut in.

"Hey, Brock." C.J. chipped in. "Claude had a bit of an issue a while back. It's like he zoned out and imagined he was playing some stupid video game."

"Oh, that's right!" said Brock. "We had an announcement about that a while ago. It's driver fatigue."

"Oh, right. Possible hallucinations, yeah?" Nina cut in.

"Right. So, just keep a watch on yourselves for that. Rotate drivers and let the ones on break get as much rest as they can." Brock added. "You would have heard that if you'd been listening to the broadcast, Tommy."

"Our radio needed fixing." Tommy sheepishly mumbled.

"Well, make sure it stays fixed this time!" Brock chided.

"Got it." C.J. confirmed.

"In the mean time, if you want to make five million bucks on top of the big prize, head to Phuket post-haste." Brock advised.

"Hey, where's my Creedence?" asked The Drake.

"Sorry, this isn't a radio station." said Brock. He ended the call.

"Aw, no Creedence." said The Drake.

"Oh, we can fix that." Venom cheered as he began to sing. "I see...a bad moon rising! I see...trouble on the way!"

---

In the early hours of the morning as it was still dark, Joan Wilder drove the Squalo through light traffic in the streets of Jakarta. They were just coming out of a tunnel.

Jack sat in the back and cast a curious glance in the rear-view as he saw the headlight of a motorcycle behind them in the tunnel.

"Is that one of the other Cannonballers?" he asked.

"I can't tell because of how far back they are." Joan replied. "But I don't think it's trouble."

"I hope so." grumbled Jack as he fingered his Desert Eagle.

Ralph was holding onto Joan's cell phone for her. It rang at that moment and he answered it for her.

"Yeah? Oh, hi Elaine. Yeah, Joan's here. I'll hold the phone up to her so she can talk." he stated.

He held the phone up to Joan's ear so Joan could talk to her sister whilst Joan pulled to a stop for a few minutes.

"Hey, sis." Joan grinned. "The race is going well for us right now. We're in the final leg."

Jack cast a glance behind them and saw that the motorcycle's light was now nowhere to be seen. He had a gut feeling that something wasn't right as Joan continued her conversation.

Suddenly, two shots rang out and two bullets passed through the Squalo's rear windshield and right the way through the front windshield, narrowly missing everybody inside.

"SHIT!" Joan yelled. "Elaine, I have to go now!"

Ralph quickly cut the call off as Joan put the Squalo in gear and they took off at top speed. The motorcycle headlight came on again behind them and the motorcycle was now in hot pursuit.

It was Luther riding the Bloody Canoness and armed with a Mac-10. Needless to say, he had fired the shots at them. Joan steered with great skill through the light traffic as Luther kept right on them, trying to get alongside them.

Joan managed to avoid giving him an opening for a while, but he did get alongside the left rear compartment of the Squalo and fired a couple more shots from the Mac-10 into the bodywork of the Squalo.

Jack raised his gun and prepared to return fire.

"You won't need that, honey! HOLD ON!" Joan yelled as she made a sharp turn to the right around a tight corner.

Luther moved the Bloody Canoness along the right side of the Squalo as they made the turn and tried to fire again. As he had turned his head and arm to aim the gun, he had failed to notice a parked car in his path. He crashed the Bloody Canoness into the car and was thrown from the saddle.

He flew about twenty feet in the air and landed hard on the pavement with his gun clattering away from him. His helmet had saved his life, but he was badly battered and losing consciousness.

"Good moves, sweetheart!" Jack congratulated Joan.

"What about him?" asked Ralph about Luther.

"Let's leave him for the authorities." Joan grimly remarked as she put the Squalo back in gear and drove off.

"That'll teach ya to look where you're goin', jerkwad!" Ralph triumphantly yelled as he flipped Luther the bird in the mirror.

---

Farther to the north, in the city of Palembang, Cobra Commander drove the Aquila with Storm Shadow navigating as Zartan slept in the back seat.

Cobra Commander was driving very fast but was very relaxed as his team made good time.

There was a roar of an engine and a screech of tires as the Compensator drove out of a side street ahead of them and approached on a collision course.

"Oh, look who thinks he's a bad-ass." the Commander sneered as he quickly swerved around the approaching LaFours and got past him by briefly mounting the curb to his right side.

The Commander righted the Aquila as they got past the Compensator and sped away.

LaFours silently growled to himself as he turned a 180 and came after the Aquila as the Commander outpaced him.

As the Compensator gained on the Aquila, LaFours raised his free hand and aimed a carbine rifle out of his driver side window. He fired a few shots at the Aquila but they went wide.

Storm Shadow leaned out of his window and threw several razor sharp shuriken blades in LaFours' direction which severed the barrel of his rifle and made it useless.

LaFours glared and poured on the speed as the Commander made a sharp left turn and drove down an alley which was lined with a lot of junk such as abandoned crates and shopping carts.

The Commander did his best to avoid the obstacles whilst LaFours just used the Compensator's massive size to plow through them. That approach worked, but it also slowed him down a bit.

The Aquila cleared the alley and the Commander made a right turn and activated his nitrous.

As the Aquila was boosted forward, Storm Shadow looked ahead and saw a gasoline tanker which had been abandoned at the side of the road due a leakage from its' fuel hose. A huge puddle of gasoline had pooled in the street which a clean-up crew had not yet arrived to take care of.

"I see an opportunity here, Commander." Storm Shadow grinned.

"I agree absolutely." the Commander replied as he reached for the dashboard and pulled out the cigarette lighter. "Someone else's carelessness is going to be our good fortune."

As the Compensator appeared in their rear-view again, the Commander drove through the leaking fuel and laughed as he cleared it.

He opened his window and threw the cigarette lighter behind him into the spilled fuel.

As the fuel ignited, LaFours gaped in horror and slammed on the Compensator's brakes to avoid the flames which rose up.

He managed to stop in the nick of time and threw the Compensator into reverse.

He backed up at high speed and managed to get away before the fire caught the fuel tanker and it exploded.

The sweating LaFours turned around and drove away fast as he didn't want to be around when the local police checked out the incident.

Cobra Commander and Storm Shadow both laughed as they went on their way.

"COBRA!" they chorused.

"HEY! Keep it down!" Zartan protested as he stirred and tried to go back to sleep.

"You're missing a lot of fun, my friend." Storm Shadow grumbled under his breath.

---

Elsewhere in Palembang, Charlie had calmed down since his hallucination earlier and had let Stella take over driving the Terrific. As she weaved through the early traffic, the Opus drove towards the Terrific's rear. Banner drove and grinned as he activated the flashing lights in the car's grille and the siren to go with them.

"Crud." Stella grumbled as she poured on the speed and moved through the traffic as Banner stayed with her.

A ringing tone sounded on the cell phone in its holder.

"Answer." she commanded.

The phone answered the call and Handsome Rob's voice replied.

"Hey, Stel. I understand you're in Palembang now." he greeted.

"We're a tad busy right now, Rob." Lyle called out.

"That's why I'm calling. Meet Wrench and I at the co-ordinates we're sending to your GPS so we can help you out." Rob instructed.

The directions appeared on the GPS monitor.

"On our way." Stella glared as she continued to evade the Opus as it stayed with her.

Stella kept driving towards an intersection as some traffic lights turned red.

She was able to cross through the cross traffic without hitting anybody and got through.

Banner tried to follow her, but swerved to avoid a car coming from his right and hit the side of said car which brought the Opus to a halt and caused the car's driver to start yelling at him in a fury.

"Great job!" Left Ear encouraged.

"We ain't there yet." warned Stella as the Scarsdale pulled out from a left side street and began to chase them.

Stella kept her speed up as Baxter and Bender who were in the Scarsdale tried to catch up with her. The Terrific's small size and Stella's skill at the wheel caused them to keep up a good lead.

She checked the GPS and saw that they were nearing the location which Rob had sent them. She turned a hard right and drove down a sloping street which a large garbage truck was driving down the side of.

As she passed the truck, she did a handbrake turn to the right into an alleyway.

The Scarsdale had caught up and tried to follow her, but Bender slammed on the brakes as he couldn't make the turn into the alley as the slow-moving garbage truck had now blocked the entrance.

As she drove down the alley, Stella was able to maneuver to avoid a couple of utility trucks which were pulling out of bays to the left and right of the Terrific.

She checked the GPS and saw that they had reached their destination as a garage door opened to her left.

She sighed in relief and drove into the garage.

Wrench closed the door behind them as Handsome Rob greeted them.

The team saw that there were two more Mini Cooper S cars in the garage and they were parked in bays equipped with paint sprayers.

Charlie realized the layout of the garage looked familiar.

"A Pay 'N Spray." he grinned. "I should have figured they have these places all over the world."

"We're about to pay homage to our greatest triumph." Rob grinned.

"As well as give CRAP a bit of a brain teaser to keep them off your cases." Wrench added.

"Beautiful." Stella smirked.

---

Fifty or so miles to the north, the Evenflow was parked in a rest area by the side of the highway. Victoria and Masado stood by with a radar gun to try and catch Cannonballers.

"You think maybe they got smart enough to try and avoid traps like this?" Masado asked.

"We've got to try anyway." Victoria chided him.

There was suddenly the roar of three motorcycle engines from the south. The Streetfighter, Avenger, and Wayfarer all pulled to a stop on the highway.

Priss, Frank, and Howard all gave the middle finger to the CRAP operatives.

"Son of a bitch!" snapped Victoria.

Frank performed a burnout whilst Howard and Priss popped wheelies as they went off again at high speed.

"That was certainly Cannonballers!" Masado remarked as he and Victoria got into the Evenflow.

"We'll knock the mustard out of those hot dogs!" Victoria growled as she put the Evenflow in gear and pulled out onto the highway.

As she prepared to chase the three Cannonball motorcyclists, a highway patrol car which had already been chasing the three bikes came over the crest of the hill and slammed into the right rear quarter panel of the Evenflow, spinning it out.

The highway patrol car halted as the Evenflow did a few doughnuts and came to a stop.

"Someone is gonna pay for that!" Victoria angrily yelled.

"Don't look at me." Masado grumbled.

---

High above the northern Indonesian city of Medan, Slater flew a black and white Bell 206L Longranger helicopter whilst Michaels navigated. They were keeping their eyes open for any Cannonballers now that the race was nearly out of Indonesia and headed for the bridge leading to the Thai island of Phuket.

Michaels spotted a vehicle driving fast on the highway below them. It was a yellow Mini Cooper S.

"Hey, boss." he reported to Baxter over his headset. "I think we've spotted those jerks in the Mini who gave you the slip earlier. We're moving in!"

"Roger that. Don't let them out of your sight!" Baxter ordered.

Slater dropped the chopper, called the Maverick, lower to the ground.

As he hovered over the highway, still keeping reasonably high, two more yellow Cooper S cars appeared and drove on either side of the one that Michaels had spotted.

"Huh?" asked Slater. "Which one's our guys?"

"How the f-bomb should I know?" Michaels asked in exasperation.

On the ground, Lyle drove the Terrific whilst Rob and Wrench were driving the other two Minis. They were the two from the Pay 'N Spray and had been given the same paint job as the Terrific.

"Sweet move, guys!" Left Ear cheered.

"Ain't no thing!" Wrench replied.

"Okay, let's break." Rob ordered.

The three yellow Minis approached a part of the highway which had turn-offs onto overpasses on the left and right of the highway. Two of the Minis turned off onto each overpass whilst the third continued along the highway.

"Shit." grumbled Michaels. "Virginia, are you close?"

"Affirmative." Virginia replied over the radio.

"Good. We may need your help here." Michaels added.

The Terrific had been the Mini which had taken the overpass to the left side.

Lyle was now driving and drove up a sloping side street beside a parking garage at legal speed. He turned into the parking garage where the team were happy to see a delivery van with the rear doors open and a ramp extended down.

"All aboard the Boxville!" Skeeter cheered as Lyle drove up the ramp and parked the Terrific in the rear of the van.

As Skeeter raised the ramp and closed the rear door automatically, Virginia drove the Orange Crush just outside of the parking garage.

"No sign of them here." she reported. "I'll check out those other two if you can spot them for me."

"Roger." Michaels confirmed.

"And away we go." whispered Skeeter as he put his van in gear and pulled out of the garage.

---

"It has been confirmed that the Cannonball is now out of Indonesia." Misty reported. "Our racers are now headed across the bridge which will take them to the island of Phuket."

"After they have some fun in the sun there, another bridge will take them to the Thai mainland which is the second Asian stop on this running of the race." Lazlow added.

"We understand that the first puzzle hunt challenge for Asia will take place in the capital city of Phuket." Ron stated. "We're not sure what the challenges will be this time around, but I have heard they were inspired by some popular activities from the cities of Stilwater and Steelport."

"I hope it one of them won't be anything to do with the Septic Avenger thing I've heard about from those cities." Veronica chuckled half-jokingly.

"Dare we even ask?" Lazlow joked.

"You probably shouldn't." Veronica replied. "But let's just say that it would certainly appeal to Bam Margera as he's an entrant in the puzzle hunt this time."

"Hopefully, then, they won't be doing Septic Avenger." Misty joked.

"Well then, let's hope nothing too dramatic will happen this time around." Ron grinned. "Until our next update, stay classy Cannonball fans!"

---

Takumi drove the Reaper through the winding roads of the Phuket Mountain Range whilst K.T. navigated. Takumi had no trouble negotiating the roads at high speed due to his impromptu training he had received racing the touges of Japan from his father.

Takumi cast a glance in his rear-view and was surprised to see the four black F1s and the Nyte Blayde driving in formation and coming up on the Reaper fast.

"Looks like we've got company. And not they don't look friendly." Takumi remarked.

"Then lose 'em." K.T. advised.

"Right." Takumi nodded as he put his foot down.

They approached an intersection where there were two more roads with one leading downhill and the other leading uphill.

"I'll take the low road." Simon reported in the lead F1. "The GPS says I can loop back onto the main road a few miles from here. We'll box these ricer jerks in!"

"Gotcha, boss." Goldilocks replied.

Garthe turned and took the Nyte Blayde up the upper road. "I'll hang back for a while." he announced. "If you guys are as bad-ass as you say you are, this should be a walk in the park for you. If not, I'll finish the job off."

"Rich white prick." Uzi grumbled to himself.

Simon drove off down the lower road whilst Uzi and Digit moved their F1s forward to engage the Reaper. Takumi kept ahead of them for a couple of miles, but the two Lords began to catch up eventually.

Driving side by side, Uzi and Digit both bumped the rear fender of the Reaper and tried to push it off the mountain road.

"Hang on!" K.T. warned Takumi as he opened up a small panel near the gear shift. It showed a range of buttons.

"I hoped we wouldn't need any of this 007 crap, but it looks like we've no choice now." K.T. added.

"What kind of stuff?" asked Takumi.

"You just keep driving. I'll handle this." K.T. replied.

As Uzi and Digit got ready to move in for the kill again, K.T. pressed a button which had a jet of flame illustrated on it. A small panel opened on the rear end of the Reaper and revealed a flame thrower nozzle.

A jet of powerful flame shot out of the nozzle and hit the front ends of both Uzi and Digit's F1s. The two Lords panicked and swerved into a lay-by.

They both opened their doors and jumped clear of their F1s as the flames consumed the cars. Uzi and Digit both ducked and covered as their F1s exploded.

Goldilocks glared in disgust as he drove past both of them and continued on his pursuit of the Reaper.

K.T. cheered and flashed a V For Victory sign.

"We're not home free yet." Takumi warned as he pointed ahead to show that Simon had looped back onto the main road as he had said he would and was now driving at high speed on a collision course straight towards them. With Goldilocks at their rear, they were going to be boxed in.

"No problem." K.T. glared as he pressed another button on the panel. With an electronic him, a short ramp slid out from underneath the Reaper and closed over the hood and windshield of the car.

"Well shit." Simon sighed to himself as he knew he couldn't stop in time.

As the Reaper kept coming, Simon ended up driving up the moving ramp and jumped over the Reaper.

Goldilocks yelled in a panic as Simon's F1 flew straight towards his. The two exotics collided and were instantly wrecked.

Simon and Goldilocks both managed to climb out of their wrecked vehicles and get clear just before fire broke out in both vehicles.

The leader of the Golden Lords and his number two both got a good distance away before their F1s exploded as well.

In the Reaper, Takumi, and K.T. both cheered as they had made their escape for now.

At the top of the mountain, Garthe had parked the Nyte Blayde and looked down on the mountain roads with a pair of electronic binoculars and had seen the Golden Lords' failure.

"I wonder if those guys bleach their brains as well as their hair." he thought to himself as he climbed back into the Nyte Blayde and started it.

He drove down a dirt road at the side of the mountain and got ready to catch up and deal with the two touge racers.

---

In Phuket City itself, The Drake pulled the Utopia into a parking lot. "What's going on here?" he asked. They found a three-foot-tall wall forming a large arena. Cars could be seen behind the wall.

The Drake parked and climbed out with Ron and Venom. They walked over to the wall and looked at the cars.

"Ooh, tell me we get to drive those." said Ron.

Team Rocket pulled in next and climbed out of the car. "We're here!" cheered Jessie. "What's the challenge?"

"We don't know yet." said Venom. "But it has something to do with those cars."

Stone Cold and Lara pulled into the parking lot next. Their teams climbed out of the cars. "What's the challenge?" asked Nina.

"Looks like something involving driving." said Giovanni.

Bam drove into the parking lot followed by Claude. After they and their teams climbed out, Mitzi walked over.

Set up near her was a small stage which had the curtains closed on it.

"Okay, now that no one's not here," she said "it's time to tell the task. You folks found your first feat to finagle. You dudes are doing a doggone demolition derby! By the way, did you like the alliteration? I liked the alliteration."

"Are those the cars we're using?" asked Carl.

"Yes, they are." said Mitzi. "However, we have a certain way to choose your vehicles."

"Define 'certain way'." said Jessie.

Minutes later...

"I had to ask." said Jessie as she, Torquenstein, Venom, Rob, Joanna, and Tommy stood in the circle in the center of the cars.

"Now, here to provide some musical backing, The Bloodhound Gang." said Mitzi.

The curtains on the stage parted to reveal the Bloodhound Gang with their instruments at the ready.

"Thank you." said Jimmy Pop as he mock-bowed. "Now, I hope you're all familiar with the game known as 'Musical Chairs'."

"Are you kidding me?" laughed Venom.

"But first, are you sure these are the drivers you want to field in this challenge?" asked Jimmy.

"Tommy?" asked Carl.

"It'll be just like Bloodring back in Vice City." said Tommy.

"Interestingly, it's also like something where I'm from." said Mitzi. "Although I'm curious. Where are your heavy weapons?"

"Okay, if there are no objections..." said Jimmy.

He started to play Van Halen's "Eruption" on his guitar. (Note: This song is instrumental.) The entrants started to walk in a circle in the center of the cars. He continued to play the tune for forty seconds. He suddenly stopped.

When the music fell silent, everybody ran for one of the cars.

"Get the BMW." said The Drake. "Get the BMW."

Venom jumped into a dark green BMW M3.

"Yes!" yelled The Drake.

"Venom gets the Nelson." announced Mitzi.

Tommy popped open the door on a dark grey Jaguar S-Type while Rob climbed into a black Mercedes-Benz S500.

"Tommy gets the Zomkah." announced Mitzi. "Rob gets the Socialite."

"Socialite?" yelled Rob.

"What the hell kind of name is 'Zomkah'?" yelled Tommy.

Jessie got into a pearl white Rolls-Royce Phantom.

"Jessie gets the Justice." announced Mitzi. "Torquenstein gets the Eiswolf."

Torquenstein gripped the wheel of a red Lexus GS300 as Joanna sat behind the wheel of a beige Bentley Mulsanne and fastened her seat belt.

"And Joanna gets the Infuego." announced Mitzi.

"Hey, why does she have the only car with a cool name?" asked Venom.

Jessie grinned evilly as she took out her MP3 player, put in her earbuds and once again began playing "Jessica" by the Allman Brothers Band over them.

"None of you lamers stand a chance!" she triumphantly yelled. "I'm gonna whoop all your butts and send ya to the scrapyard for good!"

"And now, it's time to start." said Mitzi. "Ready?"

Everybody started their cars.

"Go!"

"Hey, everybody!" yelled Tommy. "Get Jessie!"

"Wait, what?" said Jessie.

The cars all reversed into the circle as the Bloodhound Gang started to play. They all collided with the Justice as Jimmy started to sing.

I will survive in my Mach 5.
In my Mach 5, I will survive.
Yeah, Yeah.

Everybody rammed the Justice again. The engine quit on Jessie.

I will survive in my Mach 5.
In my Mach 5, I will survive.
Yeah, Yeah.

Everybody backed away from the Justice as Jessie tried unsuccessfully to restart the engine.

I bring the hammer down.
A tiny crushin' sound.
And I'm in the yard.
Smashing Matchbox cars.

An itty bitty crash.
And my machine is trash.
But I'm blastin' past.
With chickie on the dash.

Chickie on the gas.
Go, chickie.

Jessie growled to herself, got out of the car and headed over to Mitzi as the other cars went after each other.

I will survive in my Mach 5.
In my Mach 5, I will survive.
Yeah, Yeah.

Mitzi handed a confused Jessie the clue to the next stop. Rob glanced over at them while steering through the chaos.

I will survive in my Mach 5.
In my Mach 5, I will survive.
Yeah, Yeah.

Rob steered around the Justice and found himself heading straight for the Eiswolf. They collided head on. Tommy drove around and found Venom.

The firecracker blow.
An urge overload.
The wild plastic fire.
Smoke from the tire.

Layin' a little patch.
Without a single scratch.
Between the hammer and the rock I Can see bright blue Mach 5.

It's my Mach 5.
Oh.

Rob and Torquenstein got their clues from Mitzi as Tommy rammed into the Nelson and popped the hood open. He rolled back, his engine dead.

Oh my goodness.
It's the most beautiful little thing I've ever seen in my life.
It's blue on the outside and all creamy on the interior.
Yeah.
I can't bring myself to smash it.
So I take it for a ride on a sunny Summer Sunday afternoon.

Tommy climbed out of the Zomkah and snuck over to Mitzi. As she gave him the next clue, Venom kicked the windshield out of the Nelson.

I'm riding with the top down.
Riding with the top down.
Riding with the top down.
Hell I blew the top right of my car.

Venom and Joanna raced towards each other.

I will survive in my Mach 5.
In my Mach 5, I will...
I will survive in my Mach 5.
In my Mach 5.
Yeah, I want to go.

Venom got on the brakes and the front of the Nelson dove. Joanna rammed him and the Infuego flipped over onto its side.

I want to go.
I want to go.
I want to go.

-"Mach 5" by the Presidents of the United States of America.

Venom climbed out of the Nelson and cheered. He and Joanna walked over to Mitzi who handed them their next clues.

"First for the little lady." said Mitzi. "And now for our big winner."

"Shouldn't you have given this to me first?" asked Venom. "After all, I did win the event."

"Don't be silly." said Mitzi. "She got eliminated and you didn't. That's the order the clues were given out in."

"Wait, you gave the clues to the racers in the order in which they were eliminated from this?" asked Joanna.

"Oh." said Mitzi. "I guess I didn't think this through."

Joanna and Venom took their clues to their teams.

"That was a screw up." said Ron.

"We can make it up." said Venom as he handed the clue to The Drake.

Lara and The Drake read the clue.

"You are to head to Hong Kong and attend a Cannonball viewing party." said Lara.

"Once there, you will ask a female guest for the next clue." said The Drake.

"If you ask the right one, she will give you the clue and you may proceed to the next challenge." said Lara.

"If you ask the wrong one, she will give you a clue to the right girl." said The Drake.

"The address for the party is 154 Kong-Sang Chan Lane. Good luck." said Lara.

The two teams ran past the arena. Venom waved to the wrecked cars and said "Bye! We'll miss you!"

---

The Reaper now approached Phuket city, but the team still had a bit of trouble. Garthe had earlier finished his off-road drive down the mountains and had caught up to K.T. and Takumi.

Takumi swerved to avoid the laser blasts which Garthe was firing from the weapon pods on the front of the Nyte Blayde. Takumi managed to avoid getting hit as the blasts hit the road ahead of them and caused minor explosions.

Garthe got alongside the Reaper and swerved into its side, trying to force it off the road as they made sharp turns on the winding roads and eventually reached the outskirts of the city.

Garthe got alongside the Reaper again as the two cars approached a hairpin turn at a two-way intersection. Garthe got a slight lead and got ready to ram into the Reaper's side again.

Takumi timed it just right and slammed into the Nyte Blayde's rear quarter panel and spun Garthe out, causing him to go onto the short road at the left of the intersection. Takumi then performed a drift through the hairpin and continued on the road to the right as Garthe got ready to right himself and continue pursuit.

"Head for the waterfront." K.T. ordered.

"Have we REALLY got that much 007 shit?" Takumi asked in bewilderment.

"Just the one last thing. And it's gonna save our hides." K.T. confirmed as Takumi sped towards a small wharf by the edge of the sea.

As Takumi kept driving to the edge of the dock, K.T. pressed another button on the secret panel and a hovercraft skirt immediately began to inflate at the bottom of the Reaper. Two small panels opened at the sides of the Reaper's tail-lights revealing a set of booster engines.

As the Nyte Blayde caught up and followed the Reaper along the dock. Garthe was a tad too late as the now amphibious Reaper drove off the edge of the dock and splashed down into the sea.

Takumi grinned and was able to steer the Reaper on the water with no problems. The team were soon off on their way towards the Thai mainland.

Garthe had stopped at the very edge of the dock. He glared and hit his steering wheel in anger as the two touge racers had escaped him.

---

At the beginning of the bridge leading to the Thai mainland, the Boxville pulled to a halt. Skeeter opened the back doors and lowered the ramp with a remote and enabled the Terrific to drive out.

"Thanks, Skeet." Left Ear called to him.

"Take care, y'all." Skeeter waved. "Break a leg in the rest of the race."

"That's the least of our worries." Charlie grumbled.

---

"We now have confirmation that our teams are crossing into mainland Thailand." Ron addressed the camera. "And we are one challenge down in the puzzle hunt. It was a demolition derby challenge."

"Whoever won it is a bit of a conundrum." Veronica added. "Jessie of Team Rocket was the first to receive the clue for the next location. But the one who lasted to the end of the derby was Venom from Team Drake."

"I guess that going by that, we can crown Venom the Demo Demon for the Cannonball Run." Lazlow nodded.

"Knowing Jessie, she'll no doubt rub it in that she got the clue first, though." Misty sighed. "It's just the way she is."

"Anyhow, things are heating up and we bet they will continue to do so." Ron grinned.

Standing a little way back from the reporters were J.J. and Victor. They were standing near a row of one-armed bandits which were not particularly busy. Only one of them was being used and the man using it seemed too caught up in his game to pay attention to them.

"Has there been any news about those investigators?" J.J. asked Victor.

"They said that they worked out this cat burglar called Nightshade took off with the prize money." Victor replied in hushed tones. "They were told to check out her safe houses. Both detective teams are checking them out right now. Those guys from California seem to be focusing on the ones on the West Coast, though."

"Maybe they know something Batgirl doesn't." J.J. mused. "Even so, let's keep a lid on this and hope they find the prize money before the end of Asia."

The one-armed bandit slots showed three 7's and let out a chime as it paid out the jackpot. The man standing at it kept his back to J.J. and Victor as he grinned and pulled his fake beard down a few inches.

It was Lester and he had heard every word that J.J. and Victor had said.

"Really is my lucky day." he mused to himself as he planned to fill DeMarco in on the information he had just learned.

---

In Los Santos, Blue Falcon, Dynomutt, and Batgirl looked at a small house in the suburbs. A loud screech could be heard as a plane landed at the airport behind them.

"So, this is Nightshade's hideout." said Blue Falcon.

"I would have expected something more extravagant." said Dynomutt.

"Exactly." said Batgirl. "If you want to hide, it's best not to stand out."

"Let's see what we can find." said Blue Falcon.

"That's why we're here." said Batgirl.

The three of them entered the house. Just seconds after they entered, Shawn and Gus pulled up in their Echo and climbed out.

"So, this is Nightshade's hideout." said Gus.

"I would have expected something more extravagant." said Shawn.

"Exactly." said Gus. "If you want to hide, it's best not to stand out."

"Let's see what we can find." said Shawn.

"That's why we're here." said Gus.

Inside, Batgirl closed a door behind her as Blue Falcon and Dynomutt looked around a bedroom.

"Keep your eyes out for anything out of the ordinary." said Blue Falcon.

"Sure thing." said Dynomutt. "Or I would if I knew what was ordinary."

"Let's look at these papers." said Batgirl.

"They appear to be a bunch of documents." said Blue Falcon. "Maybe one of them will tell us where she took the prize money."

Shawn and Gus walked down the hall.

"There's a closed door." said Gus.

"There might be something in there." said Shawn.

They approached the door. Gus reached for the doorknob but Shawn tapped him on the shoulder.

"Gus, there's a doorway behind this bookcase." said Shawn.

"Yeah, that's definitely hiding something." said Gus.

"Give me a hand." said Shawn.

He and Gus grabbed the bookcase, lifted it, and carried it to another part of the wall. They walked through the doorway and found another bedroom.

"Hey, Gus." said Shawn as he pointed to a computer. "Ready to do a little hacking?"

In the other bedroom, Batgirl and Blue Falcon looked over the documents.

"This one looks recent." said Batgirl. "It's a lease for a parcel of land."

"Does it say what's on the land?" asked Blue Falcon.

"Just an old Spanish fort." said Batgirl.

"A fort?" asked Dynomutt. "Sound like something you can easily defend."

"And it sounds like an ideal place to hide stolen prize money." said Blue Falcon.

"We've got an address." said Batgirl. "Let's go check it out."

"On my way." said Dynomutt as he went to the door. He opened it and found the back of the bookcase. "I don't think we came in this way." he said.

"No, Dynomutt." said Blue Falcon. "There's no other way to enter this room."

"Somebody blocked us in." said Batgirl. She walked over and started pounding on the bookcase.

Gus worked on the computer as the fan ran very loudly.

"Man, that fan is loud." said Shawn.

"We'll look it over later." said Gus. "Look at this. It's a list of deficiencies in the hotel's security systems."

"Yeah, that's not suspicious." said Shawn. "Oh, what's this? It looks like a floorplan for the hotel."

"Definitely planning something." said Gus.

"This I don't get." said Shawn. "This list of holes in the defenses has a list of DeMarco's associates and how they can exploit those holes. Why would she need that?"

"Maybe she considered them and decided they were too much trouble." said Gus.

"What's this floorplan?" asked Shawn. "It doesn't look like the hotel."

"It's a Spanish fort out in the desert." said Gus. "Wait, it's got coordinates."

"Can we get there?" asked Shawn.

"Oh yeah." said Gus.

In the other room...

"I can't get this thing out of the way." said Batgirl.

"And these windows are nailed shut." said Blue Falcon as he tried to open the window.

"Hey, it's that psychic detective." said Dynomutt as he looked through the window.

"Let's try to get his attention." said Batgirl. "Shawn!"

"Help us!" yelled Blue Falcon.

Shawn and Gus walked away from the house as another plane flew overhead, drowning out the cries for help.

"This fort seems to be the right place to hide stolen prize money." said Shawn.

"When we see Batgirl, we should tell her about this." said Gus.

"She's so lucky we're helping her on this investigation." said Shawn.

"You know that's right." said Gus.

---

On the Thai mainland, the Red Fury had just left Ranong and Mack was speeding down the long highway. He cast a quick glance at the rear-view and saw that the Legion, Duke O'Death, and Ram Raider were coming up behind the Red Rangers team.

He put his foot to the floor and tried to outpace the armored vehicles.

The Duke O'Death and Ram Raider broke formation and sped towards the Red Fury alongside each other.

Mack grinned and shifted the Red Fury into reverse. He backed up at high speed and managed to move backwards around Turbo and Buttons as they both looked confused.

Mack slipped in behind the two armored cars and put the Red Fury back in drive.

Nick, who was riding shotgun, reached for the Red Fury's dashboard and opened two weapons pods which were behind the Red Fury's headlights.

He fired a pair of rockets with magnets on the bottom of them onto the roof of both the Duke O'Death and the Ram Raider. They were booster rockets. As the boosters on them activated, the two armored cars were shot off down the highway at high speed and out of control.

Turbo and Buttons screamed in shock as they went out of control and were put out of the picture for the time being.

Casey pointed to the rear-view and showed Mack and Nick that the Legion was now speeding up and was about to rear-end the Red Fury.

Mack glared and once again floored it. Big Boss and Chairman fell back a bit but soon caught up with the extra power the Legion's engine had.

Nick pointed out a highway overpass entrance to the right. Mack gave a thumbs-up and turned onto the overpass and followed it as it curved to the right.

The Red Fury knocked over a few wooden barriers as it sped across the overpass.

Big Boss got ready to follow, but pulled to a stop as he got a good look at the writing in Thai which was on one of the barriers the Red Fury had knocked over. It read that the overpass was under construction. Both he and Chairman looked at each other and grinned. They were sure the Red Rangers had just sealed their own fate.

Sure enough, the Red Fury was heading towards the edge of a fifty-foot gap between the part of the overpass they were on and the part on the other side where the middle part had not been added yet.

The three Red Rangers made sure they all had their seatbelts on. As they were about to go over the edge, Mack activated a powerful shot of nitrous and it propelled the Red Fury into the air as they went over the edge.

The Red Fury sailed through the air. For a few seconds, it looked like they wouldn't make the entire jump. But then, there were a few colored blurs and the Red Fury was safely lifted to the other side by the Powerpuff Girls and Meteor Man. The four superheroes had witnessed the chase from the air and stepped in to help at the last minute.

"Cool." Casey cheered as he waved to the Powerpuff Girls and Meteor Man as they set the Red Fury down safely at the other end of the overpass.

Mack honked the Red Fury's horn in salute as Team Red Ranger sped off to find their way back onto the main road.

Big Boss and Chairman glared as they saw their plans had failed for now. Big Boss slammed his iron hand into the dashboard and left a dent as he grunted in anger.

---

In a parking lot in Ratchaburi, Fiona and Puss returned to the Licorne after having a bathroom break. Shrek sat in the front passenger seat still wearing the Fury mask, but looking a bit tired.

Puss joined Donkey in the back seat whilst Fiona got in behind the wheel and started the engine.

As they moved forward a few feet, the Compensator roared up to them from their left and struck the left front quarter panel of the Licorne.

"HEY!" Donkey yelled.

LaFours grabbed a pistol from his glovebox and fired a few shots at Shrek's team who ducked to avoid them.

Shrek raised his hand and made a gesture.

LaFours suddenly reeled back as if from a hard physical blow and his pistol got cut in half.

"GET THE FUDGE OUTTA HERE!" Donkey yelled to Fiona.

"Will do!" she replied as she did a burnout and took off at top speed.

The Licorne got onto the highway and Fiona swerved around traffic with little difficulty as she tried to gain a lead on LaFours.

"I didn't know you could use the Force, jefe." Puss congratulated Shrek.

"It wasn't exactly the Force, but something similar which all Cannonball Captains can do." Shrek winked.

"Guys. We're not out of the woods yet." Fiona cautioned as she looked in the rear-view and saw that the Copensator was coming after them.

LaFours was moving at high speed and rapidly gaining ground on the Licorne.

As LaFours got close to Team Shrek, he once again wielded his carbine rifle one-handed and fired a few shots.

Fiona managed to avoid the shots and made a move to pass a semi truck with a cargo trailer on the right side.

The Compensator had got right beside the rear left quarter panel of the Licorne and LaFours slammed sideways into it.

The Licorne was turned sideways with the front end caught under the truck with the truck's rear wheels grinding against it and the Compensator still pushing from the side.

LaFours grinned and raised his rifle.

Shrek concentrated and performed the same hand gesture he had before. LaFours' head slammed back against his seat with his nose beginning to bleed a little bit and his rifle now split in half down the middle.

As LaFours was forced to lay off the gas, Fiona pulled the Licorne's emergency brake and was able to straighten the car out and move from under the truck.

She got a good bit ahead of the Compensator as the woozy LaFours struggled to catch up.

"Hang on!" Fiona growled as she took a hard right and drove down an incline onto a lower road. She hit her nitrous shot and got ahead.

LaFours tried to follow the Licorne, but he misjudged his turning due to his disoriented state and the Compensator went over a mound of earth, flipped over and landed on its roof after rolling a few times.

"YEAH!" Donkey yelled joyfully.

The team soon left LaFours in the dust as they headed out of town.

---

Dane drove the Clover through Thailand. They had just entered Bangkok.

"Finally, we're here in Bangkok." said Dane.

"Getting tired?" asked Denis.

"What makes you ask?" asked Dane.

"Well, for starters, you didn't crack the obvious joke about the name of the city." said Denis.

"Just because I didn't go for the simple joke doesn't mean I'm not paying attention." said Dane.

"Well, even if you're not in need of rest, the car is." said Denis. "There should be a gas station somewhere around here."

"There." said Dane.

He pulled into the gas station and found the Wisdom parked there.

"Hey, it's those guys from the odd city." said Dane.

"Oh yeah." said Denis. "I think I did a show there once."

Dane parked at the pump and climbed out. Denis climbed out and went for the store.

Dane started to fill the gas tank and Mortimer walked around the corner of the van.

"Quite a drive, isn't it?" asked Dane.

Mortimer responded in a weird language that sounded like several European languages mixed together. Speech bubbles appeared above his head displaying images of a car, a boxing glove, a bed, and a birthday cake.

"Hang on, I didn't catch that." said Dane.

Mortimer spoke again. This time, the speech bubbles displayed a city skyline, a snowflake, a toilet, and a trophy.

"Um, what?" asked Dane.

Mortimer spoke again. The speech bubbles displayed a heart, a vampire, a night sky, and a book.

"What are you speaking?" asked Dane.

"Are you okay?" asked Mortimer.

Dane suddenly found himself staring at Mortimer.

"I said that all this driving kind of knocks you out." said Mortimer. "If you get some rest, the remainder of the trip should be a piece of cake. If you know your routes through the cities cold and take the right breaks, you can claim victory. And when we finish, I'd love to find Dracula some night and start a new chapter of my life, so to speak."

Dane looked at him for a second. "Oh." he said.

The pump clicked and Dane replaced the nozzle.

Denis walked out of the store with a sandwich and said "It's paid for. Let's go."

"Got it." said Dane.

They climbed back into the Clover and drove off with the Wisdom right behind them.

"I think you might have a point about getting tired." said Dane.

Denis responded with something garbled.

"Oh no, not again." groaned Dane.

Denis swallowed his bite of sandwich and said "Sorry. What I said was..."

---

On an expressway outside of Bangkok, the Doctor closed the hood on the Firestorm, looking satisfied.

He got into the back seat as Amy sat behind the wheel with Rory in the passenger seat.

"Alright. That new improvement I made to the engine should help out a bit." the Doctor beamed.

"Okay, here goes." Amy replied as she started the Firestorm up and a roar of extreme power came from the engine.

Amy floored the accelerator and drove out at high speed.

Within seconds, the Firestorm was running at nearly 200 miles per hour.

Amy and Rory looked a little shocked at the speed as Amy used all her fast moves to swerve around traffic and other Cannonballers whom she left in the dust as they made it into the city in less than two minutes.

Amy gently tapped the brake and brought them back down to normal speed just in time as there was a traffic jam ahead of them.

"Turned out better than I hoped." the Doctor cheered.

"Maybe we should take it easy for a while." Rory gulped.

"Good idea." Amy nodded.

"Humans." the Doctor sighed under his breath.

---

In a garage in Bangkok, the Pollution Ministers sat around a powerful laptop as Yogostein entered a few commands into it. Within seconds, an image of the Black Knight appeared on the screen and Yogostein saw that the vehicle was now in Bangkok and about five miles away from them.

"And here we go!" he grinned as he pressed 'enter'.

In the Black Knight itself, Max looked confused as the steering wheel began to resist his control and the car began to drive itself.

"Looks like we've got some trouble." he reported to Jake.

"I knew it was a bad idea to put a computer chip in this car." Jake groaned.

The pair looked in the rear-view and saw a collection of motorcycles and jeeps following them. The vehicles were crewed by Ugatz and Slabs, all raising high-caliber rifles to aim at them.

"Looks like we'll have to ride this one out for now." Max grunted as he held up his shotgun and lowered his window. Jake picked up his shotgun and put his window down as well.

The duo continued to let the Black Knight drive them towards the Ministers as the Ugatz and Slabs closed in.

As the Black Knight turned through the various streets, Max and Jake blasted at their pursuers' gas tanks and tires with their shotguns and were more than able to hold their own. They did occasionally have to duck when one of the motorcycles got too close, but they were able to blast the robotic riders into oblivion when they had an opening.

As the last of their pursuers was gone, the Black Knight slowed as it entered the garage the Ministers were in. Max and Jake took careful aim as they entered the garage and as soon as they both spotted the laptop controlling the Black Knight, they simultaneously blasted it off the desk into a million pieces.

Max began to shoot the garage up from the comfort of his front seat as the Ministers, who were unarmed, panicked and ran out the back door.

The sound of police sirens was heard in the distance.

"That's our cue to beat it." Jake warned.

"No problem." Max grinned as he pulled a bootlegger and drove the Black Knight off at its' supernaturally fast speed.

---

Some of the CRAP members had set up a roadblock along a mountain highway about fifty miles outside of Bangkok.

Virginia had laid down a spike strip as the Orange Crush, Opus, Speed Demon, and Scarsdale had blocked the road.

Bullock, Montoya, Baxter, and Bender stood near the parked cars armed with shotguns.

Banner kept a watch down the road with a pair of binoculars.

"Are you sure they're gonna come this way?" asked Virginia as she jogged over to beside him. "I heard that there are a few roads which bypass this one."

"I made contact with Lt. Chang of the Bangkok police." Banner replied. "He told me that those other roads have been closed due to construction work."

"And you believed it?" asked Virginia.

"Lt. Chang is a highly decorated and respected Thai police official." Banner snapped. "I doubt very much that he would condone the actions of the Cannonballers."

"Right." Virginia nodded.

"Hey, chief. If we see a Cannonballer, we get to shoot on sight, right?" asked Bender.

"No shooting!" Baxter snapped. "We're not a bunch of cowboy cops here!"

"Also, remember that when we bag a Cannonballer, we're taking a group photo of us doing so and sending it to the other Cannonballers to break their morale." Banner added. "Any shooting and there won't be a photo."

"Glad to know a photo op is more important than actually doing our job." grumbled Montoya.

"Watch it, Montoya." warned Baxter sternly

"Well, if we can't shoot then why are we holding shotguns?" protested Bullock.

"Visual aides." Baxter explained. "They give an air of authority."

"We HAVE authority!" Bender snapped. "We're cops for chrissakes!"

They all suddenly heard a loud whoosh as the Barbarian approached from behind the roadblock and turbo-boosted over it.

"Son of a bitch!" yelled Baxter as the Barbarian touched down and drove off on its way.

Banner and Baxter ran for the Opus whilst Bullock and Montoya got into the Speed Demon.

"Hey, wait!" Bender warned as the two CRAP vehicles got ready to speed off. It was too late for the warning as Banner had forgotten the spike strip.

The Opus and Speed Demon rolled over the strip and both vehicles blew out all of their tires.

Baxter cursed a blue streak as the Barbarian was now long gone.

"At least the spike strips worked." shrugged Bender

Montoya glared at him and held her fist up threateningly in front of his face.

The Barbarian had turned onto one of the other roads which was supposed to be under construction but very obviously was not. The Cannonballer had bypassed the roadblock and Michael had decided to make things a bit more challenging for CRAP.

Michael spoke to Lt. Chang over the video link.

"Thanks for your warning, sir." Michael grinned. "We all made it past CRAP."

"Glad I could help." Chang nodded. "A few moving violations are not worth all the fuss that CRAP is going to, especially with the kind of trouble Thailand has to deal with regularly. And, of course, I hate it when cowboy cops try to step on toes around here."

"Well, I'm glad they bought the story you gave them." Michael answered. "I have no doubt that your reputation will be okay considering how dumb CRAP are."

"How could they be anything else BUT dumb with that name they gave their unit?" Chang chuckled.

"Alright. We're on our way." KITT reported as he put himself in Pursuit mode and the Barbarian sped away.

---

Corey sat in the back seat of the Bonfire with Tuesday as they crossed into China. Roger drove while Katie rode in the passenger seat.

"And now we're in China." said Tuesday.

"Yeah, we're getting closer to the finish." said Corey.

"You alright?" asked Tuesday. "You drove a long way before Roger took over."

"I am a little tired." said Corey. "Good thing I'm resting up now, right? Roger, you got this?"

Roger didn't answer.

"Roger, how are you doing?" asked Corey.

Roger turned around and bared his fangs at him.

"Huh?" said Corey. "I thought we cured that!"

Katie turned around and bared her fangs at him.

"Here we go again." said Corey. "Tuesday, a little help here?"

He turned to Tuesday. She quickly bared her fangs as well.

"Oh brother." said Corey.

"Corey?"

Corey looked to see Katie looking back at him, still human.

"I think I zoned out for a second." said Corey.

"I just wanted to tell you that we caught up with Eric." said Katie.

"Cool." said Corey.

"Boy, I hope he's not zoning out." said Roger.

Eric drove the Reckless at high speed. Despite being on your average Chinese highway, he saw himself doing the trench run from "Star Wars".

"Red Leader, we are on approach to the exhaust port." he said.

Kelso, Fez, and Hyde looked amused.

---

As President Harris' motorcade approached Hong Kong, the road ahead was blocked as the Back In Black was parked across it with DeMarco looking under the hood as if he had suffered a breakdown.

The motorcade came to a halt as one of the motorcycle officers approached to see what the problem was.

DeMarco grinned and straightened up to reveal he was wearing the Total Anarchy mask. His eyes glowed red and he held up his hand in a pushing gesture.

President Harris and all the members of the motorcade fell backwards as they were knocked out by Total Anarchy's power.

DeMarco smirked as he approached the rear door of the limo and ripped it off with great strength.

"Time to see how much the Cannonballers would pay to get you back, Mr. President." he chuckled.

---

In Hong Kong itself, the Utopia pulled up in front of a house with a couple dozen cars parked outside. The Drake and his team exited the vehicle.

"Wow, this is a pretty swinging bash." said Venom.

"I hope we can find the girl quickly." said the Drake. "I don't want to spend too much time here."

The three men walked up the steps to the house. They found a woman with a bowl standing near the door.

"Welcome." she said as she presented the bowl.

The Drake saw that the bowl was full of keys. "Thank you." he said. "But we intend to remain sober tonight."

He and his teammates entered the house while the woman looked at him confused.

---

President Harris regained consciousness in the trunk of the Back In Black. Sensing that he was in major danger, he pressed a button on the side of his wristwatch and it began transmitting on the Cannonball frequency.

"To all you Cannonballers out there, this is President Harris." he urgently whispered into the watch. "I've been abducted in or around Hong Kong. I believe that the vehicle I'm in the trunk of is a black Mustang. I'm transmitting a GPS signal along with this message. If any of you are in the vicinity, follow it and get me out of this mess."

In the Primus, Jerry and Captain Pearce exchanged looks of concern as they got the message.

"Let's get going." Pearce declaimed as he held up the engine disruptor gun they had and made sure it was fully charged.

"Will do." Jerry nodded as he put his foot down and they followed the signal.

---

An hour after showing up at the party, the Drake and his team regrouped.

"Any luck?" asked the Drake.

"Not a bit." said Venom.

"I must've talked to every woman at this party...twice." said Ron.

"There must be something we're missing." said the Drake.

Another woman walked up and asked "Can I help you?"

"We need a clue." said Venom.

"In more ways than one." said Ron.

"You see, we're Cannonballers." said the Drake. "Specifically, we're taking part in the puzzle hunt. We were told to come to a Cannonball viewing party at 154 Kong-Sang Chan Lane and ask a female guest for a clue, but we seem to be having trouble."

"Oh, I understand now." said the woman. "This is 154 Kong-Sang Chan Drive."

With that, she walked away.

"I can't believe it." said the Drake. "We went to the wrong address."

"How can there be both a Kong-Sang Chan Lane and a Kong-Sang Chan Drive?" asked Venom.

"Either this Kong-Sang Chan is a very popular guy or they ran out of names." said Ron.

"Maybe we can stay for the party for a little bit." said Venom.

The woman walked up to a platform and said "May I have your attention please? I would like to thank you for coming. We are just about to get to the reason you're all here. I would like all of the women to go to the bowl next to the doorway and take out the set of keys belonging to the man who they will be leaving with. Thank you very much."

The Drake, Venom, and Ron looked at each other in shock.

"Oh my God, it's a swingers' party." said the Drake.

"Let's get out of here." said Venom.

The Drake walked up to the key bowl and started searching through it.

"Just pick any set." said Ron.

"I paid ninety grand for this car and I'm damn sure leaving with it." said the Drake.

---

The Primus was speeding along an expressway in Hong Kong, following the President's GPS signal. Up ahead of them, Jerry spotted the Back In Black.

"That's it!" he confirmed as he checked that the President's signal was coming from the black Mustang's trunk.

"Try to get alongside that guy." Pearce ordered as Jerry swerved through traffic and got close to the Back In Black.

DeMarco saw that he was being pursued and used the power of Total Anarchy to increase his reaction time as he swerved wildly to try and cause a crash to get Team Primus off his tail.

Jerry was more than able to keep up and avoid collisions as Pearce got a clear shot at the Back In Black's engine with the disruptor gun.

Pearce fired the invisible blast at the Back In Black and its engine died with a loud snap.

DeMarco banged his head on the steering wheel despite his seatbelt and was knocked unconscious as the Primus came to a halt and Jerry and Pearce got out.

Jerry opened the driver side door and yanked the keys out of the Back In Black's ignition. As he went to unlock the trunk, Pearce reached in and yanked the Total Anarchy mask off of DeMarco's head.

Jerry opened the trunk and helped President Harris out of it.

"Much obliged." Harris grinned as he flashed a thumbs-up to Jerry.

"No prob, Mr. President." Jerry grinned.

Pearce held up the Total Anarchy mask and took the keys out of the trunk's lock.

"I think we should put both of these things in the trunk so our friend here doesn't get any more bright ideas." he remarked.

"Capital idea." Harris replied as he took both the mask and the keys and threw them into the Back In Black's trunk.

He slammed the trunk shut with a triumphant laugh.

"And now, to make things a bit more difficult for Mr. Wiesenheimer here." Harris added as he took out a roll of duct tape from one of his pockets.

"I won't even ask." Jerry sighed.

---

Elsewhere in the city, Michael Knight drove the Barbarian around taking in the sights as KITT scanned through some radio frequencies.

"Michael! I've found something you need to hear!" KITT warned suddenly.

KITT patched through the frequency he had found. Michael looked shocked as he heard the voice of Garthe Knight.

"We need to pull out all the stops now." Garthe reported. "I'll be damned if I let Michael Knight get the better of me again"

"You and your one-track mind!" Stingray replied. "Don't forget the other Cannonballers have to be taken out as well."

"You do your job and don't tell me how to do mine!" Garthe snapped in reply.

Michael looked grim.

"Can you find where their signal is coming from, buddy?" he asked KITT.

"I certainly can." KITT confirmed. "It seems this frequency is being used by all the bad guys."

"Looks like we may need to call in some help." Michael announced as he got ready to transmit on the Cannonball frequency. "Keep an eye on where Garthe is right now."

"No problem." KITT smugly remarked.

---

The Cannonball reporters were interviewing President Harris as Team Primus had returned him to his motorcade which had caught up to them.

"It was a very close call, but our good Cannonball friends stepped up and helped me in a huge way." Harris was saying. "Makes me glad that I condone the race."

"We just hope this hasn't soured your diplomatic tour, Mr. President." Misty stated.

"Absolutely not." Harris chuckled. "I came here to do an important job, and I will still do it. I would like to make a song request if I may."

"Go ahead." Ron remarked.

"I've always admired the music of Better Than Ezra." Harris continued. "Mostly because there was this asshole kid I grew up with called Ezra who kept telling me I'd never amount to anything. Well, look what I have managed to do with my life!"

"Surely you must be kidding." Veronica chuckled.

"I'm being serious. And don't call me 'Shirley'." Harris replied.

"Well, in that case, what do you think of Barenaked Ladies?" asked Lazlow.

"They're excellent. And the band with that name is very good as well." Harris grinned.

"Well then, here is that same band to perform one of Better Than Ezra's best." Lazlow announced. "Take it away guys!"

Barenaked Ladies took to their intruments and began to play the song.

All in, all in, you got me all in.
Crank the music up, let it never end.
All in, all in, you got me all in.
'Til the sun come up and we start again.

Lucy likes Peter, Peter likes Paul.
She caught 'em making out in the cubicle.
She ran and told her girlfriend to cause a bit of fuss.
Then she took another hit on the pixie dust.

All in, all in, you got me all in.
Crank the music up, let it never end.
All in, all in, you got me all in.
'Til the sun come up and we start again.

We're banging on the ceiling, we jumping on the floor.
A very angry neighbor breaking down the door.
Everyone is quiet as he begins to shout.
But we say easy man we can work it out.

All in, all in, you got me all in.
Crank the music up, let it never end.

All in, all in, you got me all in.
'Til the sun come up and we start again.
Are you having a good time?
I said are you having a good time?
Tell it to your mother.

The moral to the story, there isn't really one.
The bottom of the line is to have a bit of fun.

All in, all in, you got me all in.
Crank the music up, let it never end.
All in, all in, you got me all in.
'Til the sun come up and we start again.

Are you having a good time?
I said are you having a good time?

Tell it to your lover.
Right mate, is that your mother?

All in, all in, you got me all in.
Crank the music up, let it never end.
All in, all in, you got me all in.
'Til the sun come up and we start again.

'Til the sun come up and we start again.
'Til the sun come up and we start again.
'Til the sun come up and we start again.

-"All In" by Better Than Ezra.

---

At 154 Kong-Sang Chan Lane, Bam, Tony, and Torquenstein walked into the party.

"Oh my gosh!" squealed one partygoer. "It's Bam Margera and his team!"

"Are you the woman I'm supposed to ask for the next challenge?" asked Bam.

"I am!" cheered the woman. "Your next challenge is in the marketplace next door. Look for the local Fight Club."

"Fight Club?" asked Tony.

"This should be interesting." said Torquenstein.

They ran outside and headed to the market.

"He talked to me!" squealed the woman. "Bam Margera talked to me!"

Team Drake and Team Rocket walked in.

"Ah! It's the Drake and Team Rocket!" squealed the woman.

In the marketplace, Bam and Tony looked around.

"Oh damn, which place is the Fight Club?" asked Bam.

"There." said Torquenstein as he pointed to a sign.

"Do you have a translator program?" asked Tony.

"No, I just understand Chinese." said Torquenstein.

They went to the sign and opened the door underneath. They walked down a staircase and through a hallway.

"Yeah, this is the place." said Tony.

They found themselves looking right at Lone Wolf. "Well, look who showed up." he said.

Bam ran up to Lone Wolf. "Are we the first ones here?" he asked.

"No, they got here first." said Lone Wolf as he pointed to the gym and Nina Williams, Stone Cold, and Tommy Vercetti practicing.

"Well, I'm getting ready to practice as well." said Bam.

"Before you go practice, we have a few ground rules." said Lone Wolf. "First rule of Fight Club: You do not talk about Fight Club."

Outside, The Drake's team arrived. Ron walked up to another man and asked "Excuse me, do you know where we can find the local Fight Club?"

"Second rule of Fight Club:" said Lone Wolf. "You do NOT talk about Fight Club!"

Team Rocket entered the area. James yelled "Hey! Where do we find the Fight Club?"

"Third rule of Fight Club:" said Lone Wolf. "If someone taps out, goes limp, or says 'Stop', the fight ends."

Tommy had his opponent in a headlock. "Stop! Stop!" yelled the opponent.

"Oh, toughen up, you pansy." said Tommy.

"Fourth rule of Fight Club:" said Lone Wolf. "Only two guys to a fight."

Stone Cold held one opponent in a headlock and held another away from himself by the head while a third hung from his neck. "If you guys think you can take me, give me a 'Hell yeah!'"

"Fifth rule of Fight Club:" said Lone Wolf. "Only one fight at a time."

Nina defended herself against an opponent. "Hey, see how I'm handling this guy." she said.

"Uh, I'm a little busy." said Anna as she defended herself from another opponent.

"Sixth rule of Fight Club:" said Lone Wolf. "No shirt, no shoes."

"Hey, this is my lucky shirt." said Tommy as he pried his opponent from his shirt.

"Seventh rule of Fight Club:" said Lone Wolf. "Fights go on as long as they have to."

"This fight could go on all night." said Stone Cold as he protected himself from his opponent.

"Oh, screw that." said the opponent. He turned around and walked away.

"And the eighth rule of Fight Club:" said Lone Wolf. "If it's your first time here, you have to fight."

A fighter walked up to Lara. "I haven't seen you before." he said.

"It's my first time here." said Lara. "But I'm just here to observe."

Lone Wolf sighed to himself.

"Did you guys hear anything I said?" he groaned.

"You were just reciting dialogue from a movie." Jessie scoffed. "Who cares? Only your uber-geek friends I'll bet."

"Hey, don't be mean." Nina warned.

"I'm the original Queen of Mean!" Jessie chuckled. "So, Senor Lobo Solitario, are you gonna tell us the REAL way this challenge goes or are you planning on letting us die of old age?"

"The first thing I'll say is that one fighter from each team is the rule." Lone Wolf confirmed. "I take it from your surplus of bluster that you'd like to volunteer as the fighter for Team Rocket. Is that right, Jessie?"

"You bet it is!" Jessie smirked as she climbed into the ring. "It's a mistake to underestimate me because of my gender! I'll wipe the floor with all of you wimps!"

"Just let the other teams pick their fighters first." Lone Wolf warned.

"Won't make any difference." Jessie sneered. "You may as well call up the nearest hospital and make vacancies! WUSSIES!"

"She'd do well in the UFC with that attitude." grumbled C.J.

---

Garthe drove the Nyte Blayde along a street elsewhere in Hong Kong. Camaro and AMX were a bit behind him.

"HEY, ASSHOLE!" a voice yelled over a loudspeaker.

Garthe looked up and saw the Barbarian in front of him. Michael gave the middle finger out of his window and turned to the left down a side street.

Garthe bared his teeth in anger and took off after Michael and KITT.

A few seconds after Garthe turned down the same side street the Barbarian had gone down, hit a button on his dash.

As Camaro and AMX got ready to follow Garthe down the side street, a set of blockade bollards popped up at the entrance to the street. Unable to stop in time, the two Killer Cars rammed their front ends into the blockade.

"Come on! We'll go on foot!" AMX yelled as he and Camaro undid their seatbelts and got out.

Garthe continued to chase the Barbarian down the side street. The Barbarian got to another intersection at the end of the street and came to a halt.

Garthe grinned evilly as he moved in for the kill.

Michael pressed the button on his dash again and another set of bollards popped up just behind him, blocking Garthe's way.

KITT then microlocked both the steering and the accelerator in the Nyte Blayde so Garthe lost control.

Garthe struggled with the steering wheel and tried to put on the brakes, but it was no good.

The Nyte Blayde plowed into the bollards and mashed its front grille.

Michael got out of the Barbarian and extended a metal baton.

As Garthe got out of the Nyte Blayde in a daze, Michael grabbed him by the collar and drove the baton into Garthe's solar plexus and then whacked him across the back with it.

As Garthe was incapacitated, Michael took out a pair of handcuffs and slapped one cuff onto Garthe's right wrist. He attached the other cuff to one of the bollards and then forced the dazed Garthe to look him in the eye.

"I'll just make a call to the authorities and then you'll be back to serving those consecutive life sentences you richly deserve." Michael grinned. "And this time, you won't worm your way out of them."

Camaro and AMX had seen Garthe get busted and looked angry. They were then both surprised by a series of loud crashes back towards where their cars were. They turned and saw both Herbie and Giselle plowing into their cars repeatedly and reducing them to scrap.

"SHIT!" yelled Camaro.

"Let's just get out of here." groaned AMX as both Killer Cars began to skulk away.

---

In the fight club, Jessie stood in front of Stone Cold who had volunteered for his team.

Lone Wolf stood between them and dropped his right hand as a signal for the fight to begin.

"This should be easy!" Jessie taunted. "Everybody knows wrestling is fake!"

"Injuries DO happen!" Stone Cold indignantly protested. "But you'll find that out soon enough."

"Yeah, I bet it would be easy for trailer trash like you to hit me!" Jessie spat back.

"That's a cheap shot!" Stone Cold protested again.

"Try and lay your mitts on me, cueball, and I'll show you a cheap shot!" Jessie sneered.

"Okay. You asked for it!" Stone Cold growled as he went to swing in with a clothesline.

Jessie quickly ducked under it and dropped herself down to Stone Cold's crotch level. She drove her fist extremely hard into his private parts making him freeze and moan.

Jessie then swung her right foot up in a karate kick and struck Stone Cold in the groin again, causing his eyes to widen.

The other teams stared in shock as Jessie slowly stood back up and grinned at Stone Cold.

Stone Cold, still frozen in place, flicked his right index finger at her.

"You win." he groaned in a high-pitched voice as he fell to the mat like a marionette whose strings had been cut.

"YEAH!" Jessie yelled in triumph as she flashed a V-for-Victory sign.

The other Rockets cheered but the other teams looked outraged and began to yell in protest.

"LOW BLOW!" Venom shouted.

"There's no way in hell that was fair!" Torquenstein yelled.

Lone Wolf signaled for quiet and the yelling calmed down.

"I'm afraid that a move like that IS allowed here." Lone Wolf apologetically stated. "In fact, it's a move that also counts as an instant victory over the opponent for the fighter who delivers it."

"Bullshit!" Tommy yelled.

Lone Wolf solemnly shook his head. "No shit." he confirmed grimly.

Jessie pumped her fists up and growled nastily.

A few of the other fighters made a move to the ring to help Stone Cold.

Jessie held her fists up to them threateningly.

"Don't any one of you try to help him up, or you'll get worse than I gave him!" she yelled. "This beer-swilling blockhead calls himself the Rattlesnake, so he can just crawl out of here on his belly like one!"

The other fighters backed away in terror at Jessie's unbridled aggression as Stone Cold slowly and painfully rolled himself towards the ring ropes.

"We've got this in the bag!" Giovanni excitedly grinned as he rubbed his hands together in glee.

---

LaFours had managed to meet up with Victoria and Masado in the Evenflow and Virginia and Montoya in the Orange Crush and they were now cruising through Hong Kong in search of Cannonballers.

"Bingo." Montoya announced as she pointed up ahead of the three CRAP vehicles to show the Cowboy with Sway driving.

Sway casually glanced in her mirror and looked unnerved.

"Oh, crap." she groaned.

"What?" asked Memphis from the passenger seat.

"Just what I said. CRAP is coming up on us." Sway answered as she put the Cowboy into high gear and they sped off.

Just as the CRAP operatives began to chase after them, the Orange Crush braked as the traffic light in front of them turned red. Masado signaled for Victoria to do the same.

"What in the hell are you guys doing?!" Montoya angrily blurted.

"The light is red!" Masado pointed out.

"You think the Cannonballers give a shit about traffic laws?" Victoria yelled at him.

"We're law officers." Virginia protested. "We're supposed to set a good example by adhering to the laws of the road."

LaFours had braked the Compensator behind both the Orange Crush and the Evenflow and edged the huge truck forward slowly, giving a hard push to both vehicles.

"I think it's clear how our colleague feels about that." Victoria nervously remarked. "So, let's go!"

Virginia swallowed hard as she hit the gas on the Orange Crush and Virginia did the same on the Evenflow. With the Compensator following, the CRAP operatives took off after the Cowboy which had a good lead on them by now.

LaFours grinned evilly as he didn't intend to lose his targets so easily.

---

Back at the fight club, Stone Cold had been joined on a bench by C.J, Torquenstein, and Vemom who were all groaning and holding their crotches in pain as Jessie had used the same tactic to defeat all of them.

Jessie now stood in the ring facing Joanna.

"Luckily for you, I wouldn't hit another woman below the belt." Jessie remarked.

"Nice that you have some shred of honor." Joanna sniped back.

"Guess I'll just have to get creative." Jessie nodded as Lone Wolf dropped his hand to signal the fight had begun.

Jessie lunged forward and threw a couple of punches at Joanna's face. Joanna was able to block all of them.

Jessie leaped into the air to deliver a hard hit to Joanna's head, but Joanna ducked and rolled out of the way.

As Jessie landed and regained her footing, the other Cannonballers and fight club regulars began to throw weapons into the ring. Jessie picked up a spare tire whilst Joanna grabbed a trashcan.

Joanna quickly dodged as Jessie swung in with the tire, stepped off a bit and hit Jessie from behind with the trashcan making a dent in it.

She then hit Jessie on the head with the trashcan, dazing her and driving her to her knees.

Joanna then delivered a series of kicks to Jessie's back and picked up a kendo stick which had just been thrown in.

She whacked Jessie across the back and the head as the Rocket agent tried to get to her feet. Jessie screamed in pain instead.

Joanna then gripped both of Jessie's arms in a submission hold as she stretched them out behind her back whilst driving her right foot into Jessie's back.

"You know what I want to hear." Joanna growled.

"Get bent." Jessie groaned.

"Say it." Joanna pressed.

"Never." Jessie croaked in extreme pain as Joanna extended her arms even more.

"Say it." Joanna ordered.

Jessie let out a loud scream of pain as she tried to endure the pain.

"Swallow your pride for once in your life." Joanna hissed as she put her left foot on the end of Jessie's long hair and began to force her head up causing Jessie's hair to get pulled painfully.

"MATTE!" Jessie yelled at the top of her voice.

Lone Wolf signaled that the fight was over and Joanna was the victor.

The other Cannonballers and fight club regulars cheered in ecstasy as Joanna had won the fight and therefore the challenge.

James, Meowth and Giovanni all looked annoyed at Jessie's defeat.

"So much for that." Meowth groaned.

---

The CRAP operatives had caught up with the Cowboy on a two-lane freeway leading out of Hong Kong. As Sway kept the speed up, the Cowboy's radio was tuned to Race Central as LL Cool J and Usher were preparing to do a song.

"Some would call the original performer of this song a one-hit wonder due to his big hit 'Bust A Move'." Cool J announced. "But now, we're gonna showcase a bit more of the musical output of Young MC.

"And here we go!" Usher cheered as he and Cool J rapped together as the music started.

It's the bomb, 3-2-1 detonate and boom.

Give me some room you better wait,
for the kid to blow-up and take off like a rocket.
Got something up my sleeve and something else in my pocket.
Yeah, let me see you move out there,
throw your hands in the air like you just don't care.

LaFours waited for the right opening so he could activate the Compensator's nitrous shot as the Orange Crush and the Evenflow parted to allow him to pass.

He hit the shot and was able to maneuver to get ready to cut the Cowboy off.

Sway grinned to herself as she put the Cowboy in reverse just as the Compensator blocked their way.

'Cause we rollin' here coming with the funk sound,
and this ain't the government so, we won't shut down.
First gear, make sure you got everything you need,
second gear, lean back as you pick up speed.

Sway steered the Cowboy expertly in reverse and swerved the car around both the Evenflow and the Orange Crush before they could block her way.

As Victoria and Virginia angrily put the brakes on, Sway pulled a bootlegger and drove the Cowboy off in the opposite direction on the freeway.

Memphis and the Sphinx cheered, but Sway knew they weren't out of the woods yet.

Third gear, hit the highway you're starting to roll,
and fourth gear, now you're looking for the cruise control.
I got my home boys with me and we rollin' kinda tight,
get it washed in the day so it's shiny at night.
And make you feel alright like when your pockets is swollen,
so bust this as I does this and we rollin'.

Sway was able to cut through the thick traffic on the freeway with no problem, but Victoria and Virginia were catching up.

Sway quickly turned and drove the Cowboy through a small gap in the median of the freeway.

Victoria tried to follow but failed to time her turn right and crashed into the railing in the center of the freeway and damaged the Evenflow's front end. Virginia had came up behind her and had to stop to avoid rear-ending the Evenflow.

The Evenflow and the Orange Crush were going nowhere fast at this point, but LaFours angrily used the size and bullbars he had on the Compensator to crash through the center railing of the freeway with little to no damage and got in the same lane as the Cowboy to continue his pursuit.

Rollin' rollin' rollin',
on the track and we,
rollin' rollin' rollin',
and there ain't no turnin' back.

There's a party going on but it's hard to see,
because they didn't understand it till they rolled with me.

That's why we,
Rollin' rollin' rollin',
in the west and we,
Rollin' rollin' rollin',
east coast past the test.

There's a whole buncha people with a whole lotta soul,
but, it don't get started till we start to roll.

The Cowboy and the Compensator were now going the wrong way in the oncoming lane, but both drivers were making excellent moves to avoid a collision.

LaFours grinned to himself as he gained ground on the Cowboy.

"Hope you're ready to get smoked, big man!" Memphis cheered as he pushed the smokescreen button on the dash of the Cowboy.

A thick jet of smoke shot out of the Cowboy's rear and LaFours was having difficulty seeing where he was going. But the smokescreen cut out after about fifteen seconds and LaFours was still in pursuit.

Memphis snapped his fingers in frustration.

"I knew something needed refilling." he grunted angrily.

"No sweat." Sway grinned.

Come one, come all we ain't looking for no static,
you can roll low riff stick shift or automatic.
It's an open invitation to the whole nation,
yo the whole world all of civilization.

Bob your head to the lyrics that I said,
from an 18-wheeler down to a moped.
Even a kid can go or a bike or a trike,
can get with it as the people here me hit it on the mic.

LaFours was now right on the Cowboy's back bumper and bumped the Mustang a couple of times.

Sway hit the nitrous and got ahead. As she did so, she spotted another gap in the median up ahead leading into the right lane.

Now convoy came out twenty years ago,
but I love that record bay don't you know.
It doesn't matter who's up front or who's behind,
just as long as we rolling and we stay in line.

So take your time as you get your boogie on,
and let me bust my rhyme up until the break of dawn.
'Cause some try to dis and look at this like it's stolen.
don't trip moneygrip, pink slip and we rollin'.

As LaFours began to catch up with them, Sway pulled the Cowboy's e-brake and put the Cowboy in reverse again. With precise timing, she backed the Cowboy at high speed through the gap in the median and avoided traffic.

Rollin' rollin' rollin',
on the track and we,
Rollin' rollin' rollin',
and there ain't no turnin' back.

There's a party going on but it's hard to see,
because they didn't understand it till they rolled with me.

That's why we,
Rollin' rollin' rollin',
in the west and we,
Rollin' rollin' rollin',
east coast past the test.

There's a whole buncha people with a whole lotta soul,
but, it don't get started till we start to roll.

LaFours tried to follow the Cowboy but had to slam on his brakes to avoid traffic as it began to stop and block his way as motorists began to yell and shake their fists at the reckless driving they had witnessed.

Sway backed the Cowboy towards an off-ramp, pulled an e-brake turn again and sped off down the off-ramp in the right direction.

I got kicks, I got snares, I got tracks, I got beats.
I got more rhymes than klansmen got sheets,
but I don't fight the quibble, bite or even nibble.
Mess around and I have to break you down off the dribble.

With a 1-2-3 take it to the bank,
and before we get started put some gas in your tank,
'Cause we don't wanna make a pit-stop for a while.
We gonna keep it going for a couple hundred miles.

Sway had now driven into a group of warehouses near a wharf. She made quick turns and doubled back a few times to make sure that nobody who could be following them could see where they were going. She backed into an enclosed yard and pulled beside a water tank.

Sphinx quickly hopped out of the Cowboy and pulled the heavy iron gate to the yard closed. He then quickly ran back to the Cowboy and got inside as the team waited for a few minutes.

And when we do stop it's like a brotherhood thing.
Ladies become queens the men become kings.
So when you hit your neighborhood treat your neighbor good.
Ain't no other flavor make you move but i bet this flavor could.

So give me the microphone and let me finish up my mission,
and tell your people you won't be home and that your on an expedition.
'Cause there's a bunch of hope in my heart that I'm holding,
so join me set yourself free cause we rolling.

Rollin' rollin' rollin',
on the track and we,
rollin' rollin' rollin',
and there ain't no turnin' back.

There's a party going on but it's hard to see,
because they didn't understand it till they rolled with me.

That's why we,
Rollin' rollin' rollin',
in the west and we,
Rollin' rollin' rollin',
east coast past the test.

There's a whole buncha people with a whole lotta soul,
but, it don't get started till we start to roll.

Sway kept her eye on the Fuzzbuster software she was running. After a wait of a few minutes, the software confirmed that there were no cops or CRAP operatives within five miles of the team.

"And...we're clear." Sway grinned as she gave a thumbs-up and a wink.

Yeah we,
rollin' rollin' rollin',
on the track and we,
rollin' rollin' rollin',
and there ain't no turnin' back.

There's a party going on but it's hard to see,
because they didn't understand it till they rolled with me.

That's why we,
Rollin' rollin' rollin',
in the west and we,
Rollin' rollin' rollin',
east coast past the test.

Yeah we roll and roll and roll without no doubt,
to the place for the nine sase baby and I'm out.

-"Rollin'" by Young MC

A few minutes later, Sway drove the Cowboy out of the yard and out of the warehouse district at legal speeds.

"Blimey, love, you can DRIVE." Sphinx grinned.

"And don't you forget it, MATE." Sway smirked.

"That's my girl." Memphis cheered.

---

At the fight club, Lone Wolf presented the clue to the next leg of the puzzle hunt to Joanna in the form of a scroll.

"She gets the clue first?!" James snapped.

"She won the final fight, so of course she does." Lone Wolf grinned. "Since your fighter pretty much used one-note tactics up until the final fight, you'll be getting it last."

Meowth growled.

"Serves ya right, jerkwads." Tommy gloated.

The rest of Team Lara gathered around Joanna to read the scroll.

It gave directions to a theater in Tokyo which was currently running a Kaiju movie season.

"We have to look for someone cosplaying as Jet Jaguar and speak to him and he'll tell us where to go and what to do." Nina commented.

"Which one's Jet Jaguar?" asked Tony who overheard.

"I think he's the three-headed tiger thing." C.J. suggested.

"We've got until Tokyo to work it out." Anna nodded. "So, let's get going."

"Good luck and Godspeed." Lone Wolf grinned.

---

DeMarco had regained consciousness in the Back In Black and eventually got his hands off the steering wheel from where Team Primus had duct-taped them to it. He then was able chew through the duct tape and get his hands free.

After about a minute, he heard his cellphone ringing in the glove compartment.

He opened it and grabbed his phone out of it.

"What?!" he snapped as he answered the call.

"Boss, it's me." Lester replied. "I've got great news. That cat burglar from Empire City Nightshade has the Cannonball prize money."

DeMarco grinned at that. "We used her for a couple of jobs. I remember that when she stashes her loot, she likes to keep it in a safehouse very close to the city where the heist was because she thinks no-one would look for it that close to where she hit."

"That's right." Lester added. "And I remember one place she has very close to Venturas."

"Right. I'll get on the next flight home and let the others deal with the race." DeMarco replied. "Time to work on the endgame."

---

To the north of Hong Kong, Big Boss and Chairman had found the Sorcerer in Nanjing and were now chasing them down a long street in the city.

"So is this tub of lard still working with DeMarco or is he acting alone now?" asked Tobias.

"I don't think it really matters now." Tanner warned.

"Let's get this guy." said Big Boss from behind the wheel as he laughed.

Tanner weaved through traffic and approached the end of the street.

"I have an idea." he said. "If we take out the battery, it could disable his power steering and brakes."

"And he wouldn't be used to the limited control." said Tobias. "It's a brilliant idea."

"That rig looks armored, though. Aim for penetration." Tanner cautioned.

"Just give me a clear shot." Tobias assured him.

Tobias climbed out of the window and sat on the door. He took out an assault rifle and aimed for the Legion's engine bay.

"Look out, he's gonna shoot us." said Chairman.

"The armor's as tough as all Hell" said Big Boss. "We should be safe."

"Steady." said Tobias. "And now."

He fired at the truck and took out one of the turn signals. He fired again and shot off the grille emblem. He aimed carefully and fired a third time. This time, his shots pierced the grille.

"What's going on?" asked Chairman.

"I can't control it!" yelled Big Boss. "I have no steering or brakes!"

Tanner slowed down and the Legion passed them.

"Do something!" yelled Chairman.

Big Boss struggled to regain control of the Legion. "We're going to crash!" he yelled.

He swerved off to the side and crashed into another truck. He knocked it into the opposite lane and a tractor-trailer swerved to avoid hitting it.

"That went smoother than I thought." said Tanner.

He drove into the intersection and saw the truck heading right for them.

"Oh sh-" yelled Tobias.

TO BE CONTINUED...