After they ate, Carson insisted that it was time to get Rachel back in the bed. The thought of protesting did not even cross her mind as Rachel found she was weary. Though she remembered being tired during her pregnancy with Autumn, Rachel was sure it was nothing like this. More than once she had found herself wondering if the assault had caused damage that even Carson could not detect. Was that why she was tired and had the cramping? Rachel had been afraid to even bring up the possibility with Carson. She wasn't sure the doctor could give her satisfactory answers even if she did. Both Carson and Faith kept saying that the baby seemed fine, and that was what Rachel wanted to concentrate on.
Zeke said a quick good-bye to everyone present. He instructed Tyler and Rachel to come to him if there was ever anything that they wanted to talk to him about. As Zeke let himself out, Carson and Tyler helped Rachel to her feet. As they started back to her bedroom, she heard Nathan instructing the children to help him with the dishes as Elizabeth followed them to the bedroom.
After getting her settled on the bed, Carson checked her vital signs. He was pleased with what he found and suggested that he and Tyler leave so Elizabeth could help her get ready for bed. Rachel was too weary to protest.
"I'll send Autumn in to say goodnight afterwards," Tyler promised her, placing a kiss on the top of her head. Though it was not the typical action of a new husband, Rachel was touched by the gesture, relieved that Tyler seemed willing to let things develop between them slowly despite the rushed marriage.
"Thank you," Rachel told him, meeting his gaze.
As Elizabeth helped her get ready for bed, her friend kept the conversation to light topics. Rachel was grateful for that. She was sure that she would open up to Elizabeth about her feelings regarding the marriage to Tyler and the anxiety of the coming baby in the days to come, but for now Rachel did not want to talk. She knew she needed to do some self-analyzing of those feelings before expressing them to anyone else.
After she was out of her dress and in her nightgown, Elizabeth reached for the pins holding her hair up.
"Hold on," Rachel said, causing her friend to pause. "Could you maybe ask Tyler to come help me with my hair?" she asked, as she met Elizabeth's gaze. She was thankful for Elizabeth's help changing clothes, not sure that she was quite ready for that level of intimacy with Tyler quite yet. However, she had enjoyed having Tyler unpin and brush out her hair. Tyler had seemed to enjoy it too. Perhaps it was an activity that could help them ease into their new roles of husband and wife.
Elizabeth nodded. "Of course," she told Rachel. "Is there anything else you need from me tonight?"
"No," Rachel replied. "You have done more than enough today. Thank you for making this special and thank you for being my friends these last few months. I don't know how I will ever repay you."
Elizabeth smiled. She reached for the other woman's hands and held them in hers. "Friends do not keep score with one another. When the time arises, I know you will be there for me and that is what matters."
Rachel nodded her ascent. Despite being on the receiving end of that statement for so long, she knew her friend was right. Eventually, her life would fall into a new normal and there would be needs around her that she could help fulfill. A kick against her abdomen reminded her that for now, it was the baby that needed her immediate attention.
With the promise to check on her when she picked up Autumn in the morning, Elizabeth left. Rachel leaned back against the pillows behind her and closed her eyes. She truly was tired and though she had not intended to, she drifted off to sleep.
"Rachel."
The soft call of her name tugged her toward consciousness. For a fleeting moment, she thought it was Gilbert calling her, but as the voice said her name again she recognized it as Tyler. She also recalled that they were now husband and wife. As she continued toward wakefulness, she did hear Gilbert's voice in her mind telling her that it was okay.
Opening her eyes, she found Tyler perched on the edge of the bed. He gently held one of her hands in his. She gave it a little squeeze as he spoke.
"I am sorry to wake you up but Autumn wanted to say goodnight and I did not think you wanted to sleep the entire night with the pins still in your hair."
"Thank you," Rachel said, her scalp already starting to ache in places from the pins. "I did not intend to fall asleep so soon."
"You needed your rest. It has been an out of the ordinary kind of day," Tyler commented. "Carson assured me that there was nothing wrong with you falling asleep. He actually seemed pleased you were sleeping and he said that Faith would be by in the morning."
Rachel nodded her encouragement. "Out of the ordinary. I suppose that is one way to put it," she replied. "Why don't you send Autumn in and then once you get her tucked in and then perhaps you could help me with my hair?"
Tyler smiled. "I would be happy to," he told her, raising the hand he held and placing a kiss on it.
As Tyler left the room, Rachel pressed the hand he had kissed to her cheek. Already, Tyler was showing her affection that he had not before. She had a feeling they were gestures that he had held in check out of deference to her grief and their relationship. Even so, the gestures were tender, and sweet but not demanding. She knew in the days to follow that she would need to reciprocate. To find ways to let Tyler know he was loved and appreciated even if she was not ready to return his romantic feelings quite yet. Her grief was holding her back. As she thought about how the little kisses he was giving her made her felt, Rachel had a feeling that once the grief lifted, returning that love would be easy.
Soon, Autumn was coming into the room, expressing concern for her mother. Rachel did the best she could to soothe the childish fears as she said good night to the girl. After kissing her goodnight, Rachel sent her off with Tyler to be tucked in.
"Will you read me a story, Papa Tyler?" Autumn asked as the two headed out of the room.
Rachel felt her eyes mist up with tears. It seemed after their talk the night before, Autumn was going to easily accept Tyler as part of their family. While it relieved Rachel, it also instilled in her a determination to talk about Gilbert so the girl didn't forget about that father. She soon realized it was an effort she would not be doing alone.
"How about I tell you a story instead," Tyler replied as they disappeared from sight. "Like perhaps when your Daddy enlisted my help so find an early season berry patch to surprise your Mama with berries after a difficult winter."
"Thank you, Lord, for the reminder that even in the task of making sure his children know what kind of man Gilbert was, I will not be alone," Rachel said softly, a peace washing over her. She had been wrestling with the feeling that falling for Gilbert's good friend might be deemed a betrayal. She had been worried about what people might say about them. However, the only things that the people of Hope Valley knew about when they all lived in Landsdale was what the three of them revealed. Perhaps people would talk if she had not left her old hometown, but even then she knew it should not matter. She and Tyler were doing nothing wrong. They had simply been friends before, and Rachel knew if Gilbert was still alive that dynamic would not have changed. Neither one of them would have let it as they both had too much respect for Gilbert.
Settling in a sitting position against the headboard, Rachel reached for a journal Elizabeth had given her shortly after she had found out for sure she was pregnant. Her friend has suggested that writing out her feelings might help her sort things through better. While Rachel did not write in it regularly, she did find that writing things out at times helped her see things more clearly.
God cannot keep bad things from happening because man has free will. His promise is that he will be there for us to deal with those bad things. Perhaps Tyler's presence in my life has been led by God. It was Tyler's arms that offered me strength and protection in those dark moments after the assault. It was Tyler's arms that often reminded me that James' cruel nature was the exception in the world and not the way God intended the world to be.
Lifting the pen from the page, Rachel reread the words. Yes, perhaps this was what God intended for her life. Perhaps Tyler was meant to be here, loving and supporting her while her heart healed. She recalled Elizabeth telling her earlier today that perhaps God had brought her and Tyler together because he knew what was best. Maybe what she needed to do instead of fretting over everything is be supportive and caring of her new husband and let things develop naturally. Zeke had said that a good friendship could be a good foundation to start a marriage on.
Footsteps caused her to look up. Tyler was entering the room, his few belongings in the two bags he carried. She realized then how transient his life must have been as a Mountie. She could even recall Tyler asking Gilbert one Christmas if he realized how lucky he was to have a place to call home. Gilbert had assured him that he did and Rachel had thought no more about the exchange.
Until now.
Perhaps she could not offer Tyler any more than a love of friends, but she realized there was something more that she could give him. She could provide for him, a welcoming home to come back to after work no matter where life may take them. She might be limited in those efforts for the time being, as she was confined to bed, but one thing she could do was to be sure to ask him about his day.
Before she could do that for today though the fact that Tyler was taking out night clothes registered. Rachel felt her cheeks go warm. She could not very well leave the room given her condition and there really was no place else for Tyler to change. It was then that she realized Tyler was heading for an opaque white screen.
"Where did that come from?" Rachel asked as Tyler disappeared behind the screen.
"Carson offered it. He thought it might make things more comfortable for us at the beginning," Tyler replied from behind the screen. "I was afraid we would wake you up trying to move it in here."
Rachel smiled. Both Carson's thoughtfulness for supplying it and Tyler's at not wanting her to wake up touched her.
"We have good neighbors," she commented.
"Yes, we do," Tyler replied.
Soon he was coming out from behind the screen. "My uniforms, including my dress uniform, are hanging Autumn's room," he commented as he put his clothes into a bag. "We can figure out how all my things will fit tomorrow."
"I should have thought about that before this," Rachel admitted.
"We are all going to be making adjustments," Tyler replied. "We'll figure this out as we go."
Rachel admired his confidence and drew some peace of mind from it. As he moved his bags to the corner of the room, Rachel threw back the blankets on the other side of the bed, though she felt a little uneasy. It had been awhile since she had shared her bed with anyone but Autumn.
Instead of coming right to the bed, Tyler retrieved her hair brush from the dresser. Sitting on the other side of the bed this time, Tyler pulled the pins from her hair one by one. Rachel had to admit it felt good to have the hair finally free. Perhaps she had been silly not to let Elizabeth do it. As Tyler started humming as he gently freed the hair and then brushed it out, Rachel realized that this truly was a task that her new husband did not mind at all.
After returning the pins and hairbrush to their proper places, Tyler climbed into his side of the bed without reservation. Leaning over, he placed a kiss on her cheek. "Good night," he told her.
"Good night, " she echoed, placing a kiss on his cheek as well.
They both turned out the lamps and settled down in the bed. In the darkness, Rachel searched out Tyler's hand and grasped it. The future did look a little less frightening now knowing that he would be on her side. Though she couldn't find the words right then, she hoped this gesture would help convey some of what she was feeling.
Tyler gentle squeezed her hand.
"Neither one of us is alone any longer, Rachel," Tyler told her. "Knowing I have a home to come home to, is going to make ending a work day all the more special."
"Would you mind holding me, Tyler?" Rachel asked, a sudden desire to feel his arms around her once more washing over her. "Being in your arms always makes me feel safe."
Letting go of her hand, Tyler complied. He shifted his position to draw her gently into his arms. Rachel settled her arm against his shoulder and it wasn't long before sleep claimed her again.
The following morning, Tyler awoke before Rachel. She was still nestled in his arms, one hand now draped across his chest. There was a serenity in her expression that Tyler had not seen since before the assault. Knowing that his presence was enough to give her that type of feeling, told Tyler that he had done the right thing.
Slipping carefully from the bed, Tyler went to retrieve one of his uniforms. Expecting to have to be quiet to avoid waking Autumn, he found his new daughter already awake and dressed in the clothes he had helped her lay out the night before. The girl was sitting on the floor playing with the clothespin dolls that Gilbert had made for her.
"Good morning, Papa Tyler," Autumn said, looking up as the door opened.
"Good morning, Sweetheart," Tyler replied. "I see you are an early riser."
"I like mornings!" Autumn replied. "Mama does not. So I try to be quiet."
"That is very sweet of you," Tyler told her. "After I get dressed, would you like to help me with breakfast."
"Yes," Autumn replied. "I'll make my bed why you get dressed," she said hopping up from the floor and heading for the still rumpled looking bed. The girl might be an early riser but clearly making the bed was not a priority.
Tyler grabbed one of his uniforms from the peg he had hung them on, and returned quietly to the bedroom he now shared with Rachel. Quietly, he changed clothes and slipped out of the bedroom again. In the kitchen, he instructed Autumn on how to mix some pancake batter, adding some cinnamon and raisins to it. He then placed a chair where Autumn could watch him cook but there was little chance of her getting burned. He also fried up some sausage. While he plated their breakfast, he told Autumn to go see if her mama was awake. He sure hoped Rachel was awake when the girl opened the bedroom door as the girl gave an exuberant good morning to her mother.
Soon, all three of them were in the bedroom. Rachel and Autumn were on the bed with their plates while Tyler sat in the chair at the bedside. On the tray on the bedside table was a mug of coffee, a mug of hot tea for Rachel and a glass of milk for Autumn. Tyler knew it was the first of many meals together for the new family, though he hoped most of them would not be gathered around a bed.
Tyler and Autumn were cleaning up when Faith arrived. Tyler met her at the door and ushered the doctor in. Faith offered her well wishes and asked how Rachel was doing. Tyler told her what he could. Faith nodded, seeming pleased with the information. She then informed him that she or Carson would be checking in daily and that they would also make sure that there was someone here with Rachel whenever he was at work. All they needed to know from him is when he expected to be at work. Tyler assured her that he appreciated the gesture and would keep them informed.
Tyler then went in to tell Rachel good-bye, informing her that Faith was here. He placed a kiss to the top of her head, hoping that it was a show of affection that would not make her uncomfortable.
"Be careful, out there," Rachel told him after saying her own good-bye.
"I will do my best," Tyler assured her as he left the room.
Out in the main room of the cabin, Tyler got a good-bye hug from Autumn before leaving the cabin. He had to admit, it sure felt nice having someone to say good-bye to in the morning that he knew would be waiting for him to get home. No, he did not expect clear skies but he had to admit that life seemed a bit more fulfilling than it did a short time ago.