AN: Alrighty, so thanks to my guest reviewer Jillian for pointing out that I used the wrong pastor. Zeke is now back in Hope Valley and Frank is off to wherever he belongs. This is why you should not post more than one story at a time. LOL!
Despite the quiet ceremony of the night before, word of Tyler and Rachel's marriage was spreading quickly as things tend to do in Hope Valley. It was the talk among the women in the dress ship as Rosemary helped Florence try on another possible wedding dress.
"I am glad I was never forced into marriage," Mrs. Hayford commented. "I think it would be awful to have to live with someone you do not love."
"Oh, I am not so sure there is not love there," Molly commented, thinking of the interactions she had seen between Rachel and Tyler. "Rachel is just still morning the loss of her first husband."
"And it is a shame she could not do that in peace without being forced into marriage."
"No one forced Rachel to marry," Cat interjected as she perused through materials to make Emily a new dress for the start of the school year. "Tyler asked and she accepted."
"Life forced her decision. How could she be expected to raise to young children alone?"
"I managed with three after my husband died," Cat reminded Anna's mother. "Rachel would have found a way too. I am glad she doesn't have to. I wouldn't have minded if a nice gentleman had come along and offered to share my burden."
"Rumor had it that Spurlock did offer," Molly commented off handedly. It was a question she had always wanted to ask and now seemed the perfect opportunity to do so.
Cat looked over at the woman. "I did say a nice gentleman," she told the woman, her words confirming the rumor by not out right denying the fact. "Tyler is a good man. He cares about Rachel and Autumn and that little girl already adores him. I am happy for Rachel. When she finally works through the haze of grief, she won't be alone."
All the women looked at Cat. The woman had always seemed so confident and independent as she carried on after the mining accident. Her eldest son Gabe had moved to Union City for a job immediately following graduation from their little school. He had earned money for school, even with sending some home, and had been taking college courses to become a teacher as he could. Everyone knew that Cat was proud of him though she missed him. She missed her middle son Miles as well. Miles had decided that he wanted to be a veterinarian, like his Uncle Martin. Cat's brother-in-law had a practice outside of Saskatoon and had offered to let the boy work for him and help him through school for the job. Right after his sixteenth birthday, Miles had left to go live with his Aunt and Uncle. Cat wanted nothing more than her children to achieve their dreams, and if that met letting them go to the care of relatives to achieve those dreams then she was willing to.
Before anything else could be said, Rosemary appeared from the changing room. "Are you ladies ready?" she asked happily, unaware of the conversation that had been taking place.
Their conversation was immediately forgotten as all eyes fell on Florence as she entered. The dress she had chosen was ivory, and fit her slender frame well. The satin folds of the skirt fell simply around her with no flare. The bodice was covered with mauve lace. The short sleeves were made of chiffon and hung loosely, adding a softness to the dress.
All the women gushed over it. Pretty in itself, the dress looked even lovelier on the beaming bride-to-be.
"This is it, isn't it?" Florence asked, looking around at her friends. She did not need the chorus of 'yeses' that followed as her mind was already made up. She had her dress for the August wedding.
Finishing work at the Coulter's home that afternoon, Dylan rode into the town in the back of the wagon Curt drove with some of the other men. Curt left them off at the lumber mill and they went their own directions. Dylan's intent was to go to the café and simply wait for five o'clock to come around. Yes, Ally could change her mind about meeting with, but Dylan knew that walking in late would only increase that chance. He really couldn't blame her if she did. He had walked away from her when she was four. That wasn't the act of a father, it was the act of a coward. Given his actions in the past he knew he could not afford to be even a minute late.
Approaching the café, Dylan paused, the enormity of the situation hitting him. He had been out of Ally's life for eight years. What right did he have to come back into it now?
"You are Alyssa's father. She needs you to be her father and not hide in a bottle."
Dylan could still hear Colleen telling him those words one time he had come home in one in the morning, barely able to walk. They had been supposed to go out to eat to celebrate their daughter's third birthday. He had gotten in trouble at work for being late that morning. Late because he had been out with his friends drinking the night before. Colleen had managed to wake him up an hour after he should have been at work. He had yelled at his wife, and blamed him for being late.
"You should have woken me up," Dylan remembered yelling at her.
"I have been trying," Colleen said, tears sparkling in her eyes. "I was about to get a doctor because you would not wake up."
"I don't need a doctor. I need a wife who can actually be a wife," he had yelled at her before grabbing clothes from the closet and stomping toward the bathroom.
Even now, that memory brought him shame. He had only hit Colleen once, slapping her across the face one time she had been begging him not to go out with his friends. However, the verbal abuse had been abundant. He saw that now.
Suddenly, Dylan lost his courage to go through with this. He never should have sought Nathan and Ally out. He had hurt them enough, especially Ally. He should have just left them be.
Turning from the café, Dylan's steps took him toward the one type of place that he had always felt at peace in. His troubles never seemed to follow him into a saloon. Though entering the Queen of Hearts, Dylan realized that was probably only because bigger trouble awaited him there. He knew he should just turn around and leave but instead his feet carried him directly to the near empty bar. There was one other man at the bar though a few of his coworkers were gathered around a table. He heard whispers as he walked by. Nathan would find out about this visit. Even that knowledge did not make him turn around. Perhaps he was once again looking for a way to avoid doing the hard thing - to actually be there for the girl he had helped bring into this world.
Sitting down at a stool, Dylan took a deep breath. Lord, he prayed silently, give me the strength to walk away from the false peace the alcohol would give me.
The tell tale thump of a bottle on the counter sounded in front of him. Reaching out, he read the label - Sarsaparilla. Not his first choice, but definitely something that would not get him into trouble.
Looking up from the bottle, he found the first person he had talked to when he arrived in Hope Valley. The bearded man was dressed similarly to the way he had that day, and wore a compassionate smile.
"You look like a man with troubles weighing him down," the man told him. "While I refuse to serve you alcohol, I am willing to be the listening ear that bartenders tend to become."
The man's easy smile set Dylan at ease.
"A bartender who refuses to sell alcohol to a customer?" Dylan questioned, as he picked up the bottle of Sarsaparilla. The man had already opened it.
"While I don't judge people who want to unwind with alcohol and a game of cards, I do have enough morals to not aid a man whom I know is fighting a problem with alcohol," he said as Dylan took a sip of the sweet liquid. "I am Lucas Bouchard, owner of this establishment."
"Dylan Parks," he replied.
"I know," Lucas replied. "I also know that you are Nathan's brother-in-law and are working on the Coulter's home."
"Not many secrets in this town are there."
Lucas shook his head. "No there are not. I can also say from personal experience, if you try to keep too much secret people in these parts get suspicious."
Dylan nodded.
"So what brings you in here today?" Lucas asked, leaning an elbow on the bar as he waited for a reply.
"I saw the café and panicked," Dylan said.
"Not often that people think the café is more threatening than my place, but then I doubt it was actually the café you were running from."
"You would be right. I am supposed to be meeting my daughter in a couple of hours. Well, she is my daughter by birth but I haven't been much of a father. Nathan is her father. I am more certain of that now than when I came here. Guess I am wondering if it had been best just to stay away."
"Once someone starts running from their problems, the running just gets easier and easier. Stopping and facing life is the hardest thing someone can do."
Something about the words caught Dylan's attention. It sounded like Lucas was talking more about himself than Dylan's own action.
"Have experience with running."
"I do," Lucas replied. "My childhood was very transient. I lived with my parents but spent more time with nannies. I don't think it wasn't that my parents didn't love me but I also do not think they truly knew how to be a mother and father. They gave me the material things I needed, but they were never someone I went to with my problems. When I turned eighteen, I set out on my own. A little time here and a little time there. If things were not going my way, I would pack up and leave. Find a new challenge in a new town. My wanderings led me here to Hope Valley. Last fall, when I saw the girl I thought I loved, running into the arms of the man I saw as my competition, my original plan was to leave quietly and never come back to this town. However, I never quite got around to leaving. Something made me stay put and face the situation for the first time. I am glad I did. For the first time in my life I am learning about true relationships and not just surface emotions."
"You said the girl you thought you loved?" Dylan asked, happy for the distraction to his own problems.
Lucas' eyes left his and went to another place in the room. Following his gaze, Dylan saw a sophisticating looked woman delivering drinks to the table with his coworkers at it.
"I am ashamed to say, that I was more invested in the challenge with the first woman. She and I are friends, and the right man won. When I stopped looking for a challenge, I was able to see what had been in front of my eyes the whole time. Someone, whom I was truly compatible with and have fallen in love with."
Tearing his eyes off of Fiona, Lucas looked back at Dylan.
"Stopping and facing life is not easy, but once you stop and do it, you find out that life can be so much more fulfilling than what you thought it was. Stay. Give your daughter a chance to ask her questions. You don't need to take her away from her life to figure out how you can fit into it."
"Ally has a great father in Nathan, and Elizabeth seems like a wonderful person."
"She is," Lucas said. "That doesn't mean that Ally does not need you in her life as well. The thing I knew from the first time Ally darted into this saloon hiding from her uncle, was that like I was as a child she was lonely. Yes, she was closer to Nathan than I ever was to my parents and there was no doubt that Nathan would do anything for her, but she wanted more family than simply her uncle. She has found that here in Hope Valley and I know that adding yet another person to that expanding family will only make her happier."
"I know the lonely feeling well," Dylan lamented. "Ally and Nathan are the only living relatives that I am aware of."
"All the more reason to stay," Lucas told him.
Approaching footsteps caused both men to look in that direction. The footsteps belonged to Pastor Zeke.
Seeing that he had their attention, Zeke spoke. "Glad I can report that you were only drinking Sarsaparilla," the man said, taking the stool next to Dylan.
"My brother-in-law send you in?" Dylan asked.
Zeke nodded. "Nathan saw you come in and was not sure how to handle the situation. I found him pacing the boardwalk outside his office and he asked me to check in. I don't think he wanted to make a scene."
"I probably should not have walked into the saloon, but I think I found the help I needed any way," Dylan said, glancing to Lucas. "Thank you for sharing and your advice," he told the saloon owner. He picked up the bottle of Sarsparilla. "Also, thanks for not even giving me a chance to order alcohol."
"You are welcome," Lucas told him.
Dylan looked to Zeke. "Pastor, could we go somewhere and pray for the Lord's guidance and strength for the coming conversation."
"That sounds like a good plan," Zeke told him.
Dylan paid for the drink and then the two of them headed for the door. Stepping outside, Dylan spotted his brother-in-law outside of the Mounted Police Office. Nathan was watching them closely, his stance tense. Beside him, Dylan noticed Zeke give a nod from beside him. At that gesture, Dylan watched as Nathan's stature relaxed. The man seemed relieved that he did not have to be the bearer of further bad news to Ally.
Zeke's nod from across the street sent a wave of relief through Nathan. When he had seen Dylan go into the Queen of Hearts, his first instinct had been to rush in and confront the man. The fact that it would cause a scene, was they only thing that held him back. It was not the right way to handle the situation. As he had paced, trying to decide what was the right way, Zeke had come along. The pastor had offered to go see what Dylan was doing, pointing out that entering the Queen of Hearts was hardly a criminal offense or even meant that Dylan was doing anything wrong. Nathan had thanked the man and resumed his pacing.
Now as Zeke led Dylan in the direction of the church, Nathan turned to Newton. He had been ready to head home in order to bring his family into town. Elizabeth was going to pay a visit with Rosemary with Jack while he took Ally to meet with Dylan at the café. Nathan was glad that he didn't need to go home and tell any of them that those plans were cancelled.
Mounting Newton, Nathan turned the horse and saw Lucas standing out front of the Queen of Hearts. The man motioned him over and Nathan headed that way.
"I just wanted you to know that the only thing I served Dylan was Sarsaparilla and some hospitality," Lucas told him as Nathan approached where he stood. "Not that I would have served him alcohol even if he had asked."
"Thank you, Lucas," Nathan replied. "I do not know how this is going to turn out, but I do know it needs to happen. Ally has had questions for years. Questions that only Dylan can answer. She needs those answers or those questions will keep plaguing her. I am glad that I do not need to put a stop to this meeting."
"Whatever happens, Ally has you," Lucas said. "She'll be fine. I learned early on not to cross you when it comes to Ally. You definitely fit the description of a mama bear protecting her cub," he teased lightly.
"I choose to take that as a compliment," Nathan said, chuckling. "Have a good evening, Lucas."
Lucas nodded. "I will say a prayer for you and Ally."
"Thank you," Nathan said, before giving Newton a nudge.
At the house, Nathan changed into civilian clothes. He was going to this meeting as Ally's Dad and not a Mountie. Soon the group headed out. Jack's insistence of walking soon wore off and he held his hands up to Nathan.
"Up, please," the little boy said.
Nathan obliged, lifting the boy onto his shoulders. Ally walked quietly between Nathan and Elizabeth, a pensive look on her face. Reaching out, Elizabeth put an arm across Ally's shoulders and pulled the girl close but did not try to get the girl to talk.
At the Coulter's row house, Elizabeth placed a kiss to Ally's head and whispered something to her. Ally managed a small smile at the words. Nathan then handed Jack to Elizabeth as Rosemary appeared in the doorway. Nathan waved a hello to Rosemary and looked to Ally.
"Are you ready?"
"I think so," Ally replied, reaching for Nathan's hand.
Father and daughter walked into tow together. As they approached the private entrance to the café, Zeke stood up from the outside table he was sitting at and met them. The pastor asked to say a prayer over them before going inside and Ally accepted.
"Pastor Zeke, if I decide I don't want my birth father in my life after this would that make me a horrible person in God's eyes?"
Zeke knelt down so he was not towering over the girl. "God does command us to forgive and love one another. Your birth father hurt you deeply by his past actions. It takes time for us humans to sort through those feelings. You are going to have a lot to deal with and no one, not even God, expects you to settle everything tonight. Ask your questions, Ally. Listen to the answers and do not make any rushed decisions. If you need space from your birth father to do that, then it is okay to ask for that. Pray for God's guidance and he will help you sort this out in his time. Does that make sense?"
Ally nodded.
Zeke patted the girl's shoulder and stood. "I will be right out here praying for all of you," he said, looking to Nathan. "Should my presence or guidance be needed, just ask."
"Thank you," Nathan told him and then put an arm around Ally's shoulders and headed inside.
Stepping into the café, Nathan noticed that curtains had been pulled to provide some privacy to the parlor area. Abigail was at the stove, and gave them both a reassuring smile. In one of the chairs near the settee, Dylan stood to greet them.
"You look so much like your mother," Dylan said softly as Ally approached.
"That is what Grandpa tells me too," Ally replied quietly as she pressed close to Nathan's side. Nathan kept his arm around her shoulders.
"Shall we all sit?" Nathan suggested softly.
"I want to ask for a promise before we do," Ally said, her voice low and shaky with emotion.
"What is it you need, Ally?" Dylan asked, pain in his eyes.
"Can you promise me that no matter how this goes, that you will not leave this time without saying a good-bye this time?"
Nathan saw Dylan swallow hard once before attempting to speak. "I promise I will say good-bye when I leave town," he told her. "I also promise that even if you do not want to stay in touch right now that I will keep your Dad aware of my whereabouts so if you ever change your mind, you can reach out."
"All right," Ally said.
Nathan led Ally to the settee so that he could stay near her. The girl sat so close to him that Nathan had a feeling if she thought it would be acceptable, she would be sitting in his lap. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and reached for one of her hands with his other.
"I am right here with you, sweetheart," Nathan told her softly before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
Dylan had resumed his seat in the chair facing them. "I want to start by making a confession. I would rather that you hear it from me than someone else. I went into the saloon today looking for comfort because of my fear of this conversation. I know that my past actions have hurt you deeply, Ally. I know that I do not deserve the title of your father, nor will I try to claim that title. Nathan is your father and Elizabeth is your second mother. You have the family that I could not provide you with and I do not plan on trying to take that away from you a second time, Ally. A part of me wanted to hide from those facts with the numbness of alcohol just like the past and while I did find comfort there it was in the form of a listening ear and not the drink."
Nathan was glad to hear the confession from Dylan as he was sure others in town would talk about the man's afternoon visit.
"Your mother always believed the best in me, Ally. She use to encourage met to find ways to deal with stress and life's hardships without hiding in the bottle. For me, hiding in the bottle was easier. I never learned healthy ways to deal with life's hardships. My mother tended to simply ignore the things she did not want to focus on while my father looked to the bottle. I am not trying to use that as an excuse. We make our own decisions and it was my decision to look to the bottle to deal with bad things."
"Did you love my mother?"
"I did," Dylan replied without hesitation. "She was the light in the darkness for me. She encouraged me make something out my life. She tried to point me into the direction of leaning on God in life's hardships but the bottle was easier. I tried, for Colleen, to stay sober but my friends and the good feelings that drinking brought me always won out. I loved you as well, Ally. The day you were born was the happiest day of my life. I even managed to stay sober for a while after you were born but then the stress got to me again. I started stopping at the saloon on my way home for just one drink so I could relax. I never could stop at one drink though, Ally. The alcohol always won with me."
"Why did you leave me?"
"When Colleen got sick, I did not know what to do. Your mother was my anchor and without her I was lost. I turned to the bottle for my comfort. It was the only way I could deal with life. The idea of raising you without her by my side terrified me and so I ran. That choice had nothing to do with you Ally. It was my weakness and my failure. The drinking got worse after I left. I am ashamed to say I spent more time drunk than I did sober but I did feel guilty for running out on you. It was why I came back to challenge Nathan for custody of you. He was right thought Ally. I was not fit to be your father. You were better off with him and I am grateful to him for loving you enough to do what was right for you. Your uncle chose to be your father. He chose to put you before his own needs. I recognized that and I accept the fact that he is your Dad. I do not want to come between that bond. I would like it if you could find a way to forgive me and allow me to have a place in your life, no matter how small."
"You still left. I am not sure I know how to forgive that right now," Ally confessed silently, tears running down her cheeks as she clung to Nathan's hand.
Dylan gave a sad smile. "The fact that you did not tell me that you could never forgive me is enough for now, Ally. I spent eight years working on forgiving myself. I don't expect you to be able to do so immediately."
At Ally's request, Dylan went into the same story he had shared with Nathan his first day in Hope Valley. By the time he was done, Ally's tears had stopped though she still stayed close to Nathan.
"I think that is enough for today," Nathan said, speaking up. "Perhaps we can have Dylan out to dinner at our house in a few days. Would that be okay with you, Ally?"
"Yes," Ally said. "I think I would like that," she said, looking up at Nathan. She placed a kiss on his cheek, in gratitude. She then looked to Dylan. "Is it okay if I keep referring to you as Dylan?"
Dylan nodded. "If that is what you are comfortable with, then that is perfectly fine. Perhaps our next conversation can be about you. I would like to get to know you better. Is that acceptable?"
Ally nodded.
Dylan got to his feet. "Thank you for the gift of meeting with me, Ally," he told the girl, holding his hand out to her.
Ally shook the extended hand.
"You let your Dad know when you are ready to see me again. I will be patient."
Ally nodded. Nathan and Dylan exchanged good-byes and then Dylan left.
Wrapping both arms around Ally, Nathan simply held her for a few minutes. He was relieved that tears did not start again though she was quiet. After a bit, Nathan broke the silence.
"Are you up to dinner here at the café, or do you want to go home?"
"I need to wash up some but we can eat here," Ally replied.
Abigail had made her way over to them by this time, leaving Clara to watch the stove.
"You come upstairs with me, and I will help you get looking presentable, while your Dad goes get your Mama and Jack," Abigail told the girl, holding a hand out to her.
Smiling for the firs time that afternoon, Ally took the extended hand and let Abigail lead her upstairs. Nathan watched them go before leaving the café and heading toward the Coulters home. This was far from over, but a least one hurdle had been cleared.