Eyes that see into Infinity
Chapter Thirty Four
Part Three
/
Olmypias heard some loud banter going on outside while she was doing the dishes. "Do people have any decency around here? It's like a fucking zoo sometimes." She said peeping out the window. She couldn't see really well from there so she opened the front door and noticed the young neighbor girl in tears.
Callista was getting picked on by a bunch of boys but was ignoring them, trying to hurry inside.
"That girl next door is getting harassed by some children, Phillip!" Olympias yelled over to her husband in the other room.
Phillip picking his teeth with a toothpick came by her side and looked out. "What?"
"Over there, the girl, the boys are harassing her."
"I'll take care of it." He said.
Olympias held him back with a glare. "Oh really? Are you going to murder them?"
He grinned as he exited the house. "I'll be gentle."
It didn't sound promising but Phillip was a scary man. He had been drinking and working out so with adrenaline high as well as his blood pressure, knowing him he'd probably hurt a poor child. So Olympias went with him, just in case. But she was no angel either as she came by her husbands side with a wine glass full just sipping away ready to confront the boys. Phillip hurried over to the kids splitting the boys up from the girl. "Come on now. Cut that shit out."
"What is this?" Olympias hissed and looked at every kid with disgust like they were some kind of disease infecting her presence. "Go inside, sweetheart."
If anything was more terrifying than a bunch of boys harassing her, Callista took one good look at Phillip and Olympias. They were horrifying side by side. Like two angry land Titans who birthed a god. And that god was off somewhere being divine.
Callista remained silent and embarrassed and hurried inside and the boys continued to mock her and laugh while the girls she called friends were giggling on the sidelines.
"Are you going to cry to your daddy?" One of the boys shouted out.
Phillip grabbed the boy making the loudest noise. "You better stop that shit. Back off and go back to where you came from, ya little shit bird. Or I'm going to beat your ass into the fucking ground. And then I'm going to piss all over you."
Olympias leaned in and pinched the boy's cheeks. "And I would force a poisonous snake down your throat and watch you choke on it. Then I will do the same to your parents and gut them in their sleep to free all the little baby snakes that still need to feed." Then she shoved him. "Leave before I run you and your Justin Bieber looking friends over with my car."
The kid ran off but not without tossing Callista's belongings all over the yard. The boy laughed and started to take off with her bag. Phillip was quick and grabbed the kid with her things and snatched the bag from him. "Pick it up." He warned the boy. "All of it."
"Let me go." The boy tried tugging away at the man's stronger hold.
"It looks like you're having a little issue here with obedience. Let me help you with that." Phillip then dragged the boy through the lawn and that told the rest of the kids to run away. And they did, like a bunch of hyenas from a male lion entering its terrain. "Here's what you're going to do. You are going to pick up every single fucking item on this lawn, you're going to put it inside the bag like it was and ring on that doorbell, hand it to her father and apologize to the both of them. And you're going to do it with a smile on your fucking face." Phillip finally released the boy. "Now get to work."
Amyntor came downstairs because he heard his daughter sniffling at the bottom of the steps. "Hun, what's wrong. What happened?"
"Nothing." she wiped her eyes.
"Where are your things?"
"They have it."
"Who? What happened?" He looked confused. Why was his daughter crying? Why the fuck was his daughter crying?
"It's too embarrassing."
"Tell me. You can trust me."
"I went over to my friend's house and we watched a scary movie. They ditched me and ended up scaring me. I accidentally peed on myself so now they won't stop teasing me. They texted every boy we went to school with. It sucks because I have to go back to school after break is over. I think I just want to die. Just kill me. Make this quicker."
Amyntor heard the raucous on his front lawn and quickly went to check it out. Even though humiliated, Callista followed her dad to see what was happening. Nothing could keep her from being curious. He swung open the door. His lawn was a mess. Kids were scattering in all directions. A boy was in tears. And the dreaded neighbors next door stood watch, looking like they just had the time of their lives.
The boy picked up everything, rushed up to Amyntor and Callista, handed her the bag, apologized and ran away looking just about ready to shit his pants. Then it was quiet again like the kids were never there.
Phillip and Olympias causally waved to Amyntor with innocent tipsy grins and then went back inside and Amyntor was left wondering what the fuck just happened.
Phai and Alex weren't really saying much of anything but they could walk in silence all day if they wanted to. The original plan was to calm down and they were calm. They didn't mention anything that happened in the last hour or two and just walked.
"Did I ever tell you about the random stranger who annoyed me with questions when I went on one of my last walks? It was out of the blue. He spoke to me like he knew what I should have been doing my entire life. Lately, everyone seems to know what it is I need to do except for me."
Phai smiled softly. "At times we think you choose to be difficult with us but you don't choose, you just are. It makes it hard for us to help and understand you but we care. Even the worst of us. We're not trying to be critical."
"I know." Alex said peacefully.
"Here." Phai handed him the folded paper that Roxanne gave him earlier. "It was for you. It still is if you want it to be."
Alex took it. "What is it?"
"A letter from a long time ago. I wrote it when you left and then never sent it because I couldn't find it. Roxanne somehow took it from my bag and kept it for herself to rub it in my face one of these days. And that day was today, right after she spoke with you. I'm not mad that you didn't receive it, I'm just mad that she saw it first. It wasn't meant for her."
Alex was about to unfold it but Phai stopped him. "Don't read it in front of me."
Alex looked at him with a curious shine in his eyes. "Why?"
"Just...because."
Phai seemed really upset about it. It wasn't the first time his privacy was violated so Alex tried to lighten the mood. "I wonder what it is that the women in my life don't like about you? It always seems to start with the letters."
Phai chuckled. "That's why I stopped writing them."
But Alex knew why. "Phai, they hate you because I loved you. My mother is a jealous woman and overly protective and she will hate you as long as we remain friends. Roxanne hates you for similar reasons but mostly because she can't have me even when you stop coming around. And they should be jealous and they should feel insecure. They have nothing you have. They live miserably because they aim to be miserable. You mean more to me than anything and that makes you the most important person in our lives. And it terrifies them."
Phai blinked wondering if Alex meant to say that and Alex realized Phai had caught him off guard and the blonde cleared his throat turning his gaze down and away. He always knew Alex felt highly of him but he never knew he felt like that. It was a lovely thing to hear but he didn't know what to say back. Then Phai looked at his phone when it vibrated in his hand. He had three missed calls from his dad and one long text message. "Hey Alex, I should go back. Callista had an issue earlier today. My dad wants me home."
The blonde nodded in understanding. "You were right about her friends?"
"Yea." Phai didn't look in the mood to tell her 'I told you so'. In fact he was mad at himself for being right. Mad that it had to happen.
"I hope she's okay." Alex mentioned genuinely.
"I can try to cheer her up. I'm better at it than my dad is which is why it's such an emergency to him. Mom is better at it than the both of us. But she won't be home till later."
"Are you hesitant, Phai?"
"It's just hard sometimes. I shouldn't have allowed her to go meet up with them. Deep down I knew something was going to happen and because I didn't feel like arguing with her, I let her go."
"Phai, talk to her. Don't let it upset you, she gets it and she loves you. It's going to be an easy talk and you're going to tell yourself, that it wasn't so bad."
Phai nodded. Then blinked up at Alex. "You should come back with me." Really, he didn't want Alex to leave his side. He still had a great fear that whenever Alex wasn't in his eye sight, he would be gone. Forever.
"I think I need to walk a little more." The blonde admitted.
"Are you sure? You're pretty much considered a high risk patient."
"I've survived this long." Alex smiled comfortingly.
"Don't be big headed, Alex. Anything can happen to anyone at any time. Good or bad." Phai didn't want to just let him go. He could get lost in the world. To the world. But he seemed better than he did before dragging him out there. 'Just don't do or go anywhere unsafe. And keep your phone on."
"I promise." Alex winked with a little smile but Phai couldn't smile back. "Maybe I'll see you later tonight." Alex said to reassure him.
"You know where you can find me." It felt like a hint to something and Phai turned around and walked the opposite direction. And Alex went in another.
The Lost Days, India
Hephaistion was running after the lion as fast as his injured leg and the muddy grounds would allow. But eventually he lost the faster animal and he lost his way. He couldn't remember the trail that lead to Alexander and his memory of it was fading. "Where are you?" He called out for the animal but it was gone and he was stuck again in some part of the never ending jungle. He could see only green leaves and plants that made up most the land and he could hear birds chirping, monkeys laughing, and insects buzzing. They were causing a mockery of his condition. They must have been. And the big cat dispersed like it was another one of his typical hallucinations. He was being teased and poked at by the gods, he knew he was. This was all a twisted game of fate. How could he think an animal would lead him to his king? How could he think the spirit of Alexander possessed the lion to show him the way? They were outrageous, his thoughts. But were they less outrageous than Alexander's men allowing the cataleptic king to be taken in the night?
The general looked around the jungle where everything looked unfamiliar and vast, then he heard his name being whispered in the shaking leaves and impatient winds. It felt more antagonistic than leading. "Alexander!" He shouted. "You're haunting me. I know you are. I'm sorry that you got taken. I'm sorry that I can't find you. I'm trying. I'm trying, Μαλάκα!"
After cursing and slandering Alexander for unfair reasons, the king appeared before him, mighty and glowing.
"The things I would do for you, my love, is elaborate and incredible but what you'd do for me, I commend, greatly."
Hephaistion started to laugh. "I'm going crazy. By Zeus, I'm going crazy like your fucking mother did without you. I'm going to die here with you in my mind because I can't seem to get over you even when you're dead and gone. You know what, I should be happy that you're dead. I should be thanking you for dying instead of mourning and chasing."
"Those aren't kind words, Hephaistion. I don't believe you mean any of it."
"I'm sick of all of it. And I'm sick of you."
The king smiled. "You've been my bodyguard, my best friend, my right hand, and my lover. Of-course you're sick of me. But not sick enough. Because here you are, dying for me because you can't live on. You know where I'm at, you know I've journeyed to the bottom. You can save me still. "
"You're dead. I've seen your soul ascend into a paradise that welcomed you. I don't know why I'm trying to retrieve your body. Your better off in the land of the dead."
"You couldn't let me go even if you wanted to."
"How could I have fallen for such arrogance and snobbery. I hate you! Get away from me!" He yelled at his king with tears falling hard. "You want to see me suffer and die over you."
"You love me and all of my flaws."
"I know. That's the problem. Really, all you are is a barbarian king and so many hate you, even your own people and your own men."
"I see in my absence, you've reflected about many things. Do you hate me now, for putting you through this?"
"I hate myself for even trying, knowing it was a lost cause. I just want to forget you." There was a deep hatred now for his king but the golden man continued to circle him and listen.
"You can't forget me. You are me and I am you. I'm not haunting you, my love. I'm cheering you on."
"You're not cheering me on. You're laughing at me, because you're a bad person. You're a bad leader, a bad friend and a bad lover. Your battles won, were out of anger and sacrifice. Because you couldn't keep away from the gods. They've convinced you that you were one to the point of no return. You would force your own men to wear only front armor because of a punishment for turning their backs on you. You dove into an ocean without the cauldron you had made to keep you protected in the first place and ended up almost drowning because you thought, with it, the fountain of youth wouldn't touch you the way you wanted to be touched. I went in after you, saved you, and brought you back to life with my breath into yours. I didn't even know we could revive like that but I did it because I didn't want to lose you. You could defeat so many and so much but you were never able to defeat your selfishness. You are so overly glorified and hated and I'm wondering how one person can make so many people feel a different way. You've fought through many dark skies and many bright that you thought it wasn't coincidence anymore and that it was fate. You are the god of destruction and you should not be praised. I'm beginning to think you never loved me in the first place because how could you try to take on enemies alone, fight beasts much bigger than you with bare hands, climb cold mountains without anything to keep you warm, without considering what it did to me? You've died so many times in your life by wounds that could have been prevented but you fought death because of a ritual you made to Hades to keep you alive until you were ready to die. Alexander, I have bad news for you, you weren't ready to die this time but you did because you got plunged in the fucking chest by an enemy who was finally sick enough of you. And then you got yourself killed and your favorite pet, Buchephalus. Then it was almost me because I lost focus trying to get to you. I was so stupid to fall in love with you. You really are nothing."
The king nodded unaffected by the rant. Then he grinned again, brightly and angelic, despite the devilish things he's done. "Everything I've done has been for you. And it has been for my men and my people. How can one have strength if the one who leads does not? How can one take risks if the one who leads does not? How can one protect, if the one who leads does not? How can one love if we don't show them how? Hephaistion, you can't harm me even if you try. You can't forget me even you try. You can't turn your back on me even if you try. You can't hate me just because you want this to go easier for you. You will love me until time decides to rest."
"You trap me! Time as we know, is never ending. This is the perfect place to be forgotten for the both of us."
"When I die, you die."
"Who would care? No one is going to remember me so why would you?"
"When you die, everyone will remember you." The king stated strongly. "I've already made sure of that. Your death will be soon but it won't be here. And my death won't be here either because I have to mourn you and then I will take my leave. Your funeral will be grand like your heart and it will be expensive like your faith. The pyre will be larger than life can give. It will be greater than even mine. You will be deemed a god and hero. There will be torches and wreaths and eagles. There will be gold statues and archers. I will remove the manes from the animals in your name. I will plunder any city for any riches you deserve. There will be dancers less impressive than the way you dance and move and music that sets the tone for my cold sad world and then there will be silence. And anyone who speaks will get their tongues removed and anyone who cries fake tears will get their eyes plucked and anyone who laughs or refuses to participate will feast upon the rest of the dead. You are Alexander loving. You are me. Because we are a single soul dwelling in two bodies."
"All that for one person?" Hephaistion looked horrified.
"All that for you. Don't hate me, my love. Love me, like you used to and never underestimate the love I have for you...ever again."
The king vanished again and the general heard his name being called in echoes of multiple.
"Hephaistion!"–"Hephaistion!"
"Hephaistion!"
The general quickly snapped out of it when he turned at the hand on his shoulder and Ptolemy looking him dead in the eye. "Hephaistion, are you well?"
The browned haired general blinked in confusion. Was this another hallucination?
"I think he may be in shock." Leonnatus said troubled by the lack of reply.
Then the search party surrounded the lost general, surprised that he was found.
"Hephaistion, everything is going to be alright. We found you. We can take you back now. And heal these wounds." Ptolemy said covering the man with a heavy coat made of fur. It belonged to Alexander and the scent of his king snapped him out of the illusion.
"Ptolemy?" Hephaistion said weakly.
"Yes, it's me. It's me, Hephaistion."
"What are you doing here?"
"We've come to find you and bring you back."
Then out of nowhere, Hephaistion hugged his long time friend and Ptolemy hugged him tighter. He was so relieved to be hugging a body he could actually touch. Perdicas and Leonnatus both came up and hugged Hephaistion also. He was happy to see all of them.
"Hephaistion, you need to listen to us, you can't walk anymore, you need to sit."
Hephaistion had forgotten about his leg and looked down at his infected thigh then back at Ptolemy. "I can't feel the pain right now."
Perdicas hurried and brought a horse around. He removed a blanket, fresh water and the aid they had brought with them. "We have medicine. Let's treat it quickly so that we can finally get out of this place."
"Wait, no. Alexander…"
"We know." Ptolemy put a firm and supportive hand on his shoulder. "He hasn't been found and we can no longer keep looking. The men are getting sick, Cassander awaits and he will leave without us if we do not return in time."
"I wouldn't want that to happen to any of you. But I'm not going anywhere without him. Go and I will stay."
"You must come with us. We came out here for you."
"I'm sorry. I can't leave him."
"Your determination is unlike anything." Perdicas scoffed. "I hate to say it but he's dead."
"I can find him. We can get him and bring him back. Please." Hephaistion begged.
Ptolemy wasn't sure if he should trust the generals judgment. He was sickly pale, clearly delusional from fever and infection. "You need to eat and drink."
"He doesn't have that much longer." He pleaded again.
There was no kind or appropriate way to let him know that Alexander had probably been dead for days.
"You don't have that longer yourself and you can't get to him if you're dead." Ptolemy reasoned.
"I'm not leaving. Not without his body."
"Hephaistion, he's gone." Perdicas clarified. "It sucks to hear that but he's gone."
All throughout my reign, I knew what everyone was thinking. Without Alexander, my kingdom will break and divide and all of my men will fight over who claims my body. Maybe they wanted my body for profit or for safe keeping. Maybe they were obsessed even though they despised me. Or maybe what I felt was despise was actually love. Hephaistion knew that if he had left my body in India, and left that night, all nations before and after, enemies and allies, would go search for any trace of me left. Everyone has always wanted me dead or alive, but the thing is, my body belongs to no one but him.
"I understand." Hephaistion glared. "But I am not leaving. His body is mine to have and I decide what to do with it. And my decision is not to leave him here in this fucking wicked land built by Hades to frighten us. Alexander is coming with me back home, dead or alive. And if I die here with him, so be it."
Phai returned and walked into the house and entered the living room. His dad was sitting on the couch looking nervous until he saw his son. He leaned back a little bit more relaxed and relieved. "Today has been a weird day. She won't talk to me."
"Is she in her room?" Phai asked quietly.
Amyntor gave a short nod.
"How bad was it?"
"For her, pretty bad."
Phai sighed out. "I wish she had a sister for this."
Amyntor nodded. "Agreed."
They didn't know why they were both so nervous to talk to her about what had happened. "Okay, I guess I'll give it a shot."
"Phai? Don't rub anything in her face."
"I won't." Phai then went upstairs and knocked on his sister's door. "Callista, can I come in?"
"No." Callista answered moodily.
Phai sighed once again. "Please? I won't be long."
"Fine. I guess."
He opened the door slowly like he didn't know what kind of thing to expect and smiled at her when he saw her cuddled up on her bed hugging her favorite doll. It was a doll Leon had won for her at some arcade somewhere so she always kept it close. He thought about asking if she was okay, but that would have been the wrong way to approach this. Of course she wasn't okay.
"What happened to you today won't happen again. I promise. Those boys and girls won't be picking on you anymore."
"Okay." she sniffed.
"But when you see them again, when classes start back up, you have to be strong about it."
"I thought I did the right thing by leaving. Then they just followed. I tried every way to ignore them."
Phai strolled closer to the end of her bed. "You did. It's easy to get caught up in it. And when I heard about it, I wanted them all dead."
Callista chuckled. "Perfectly normal thoughts?"
"Yea, just try not to act on it."
"Have you hurt anyone before, Phai?"
The browned hair boy didn't even have to think about. "No. But I used to get picked on so I understand how the whole bully thing works. I used to get really angry but I never reacted the way they wanted me to. I always held it in which also isn't the best thing to do but in your situation you have us to talk to."
"I didn't know that you were bullied. You could have talked to me about it."
"It wasn't a big deal." He shrugged. He had to save face. It was a really big deal. What happened to him was worse than being bullied.
Callista didn't believe him but she was smart. "But you didn't tell mom and dad?"
"No."
"And you would like me to not tell mom and dad?"
"Correct."
"Fair enough. Has Alex hurt anyone before?"
Phai also wondered that at times. "He has come close." Cassy didn't count and what happened to Roxanne was still a mystery. "Lately the only person he hurts is himself."
"Can you thank his parents for me? I'm scared of them so I can't do it myself."
"I will make sure dad tells them because I'm scared of them too."
"Dad might also be a little scared of them."
"Alex can do it for us. Problem solved. Deal?"
"Deal."
"It's weird. I'm in your room for once. It's bright and messy."
"And your room is dark and dull. Can I still bother you before you leave for college?"
"Yes. You have my permission." He kissed his sister on the forehead and stood to leave. "Goodnight, sis."
"Goodnight, bro."
Then he left, closing the door. He headed downstairs where his father was still watching TV. The volume was on very low and he looked preoccupied with other things as he wasn't even watching it.
"Is your sister okay?"
"She's too embarrassed to face you. But she's going to be alright." Phai said.
"Maybe she'll talk to her mother when she gets home."
"That would be good for her. Don't take it personal, okay?"
"Phai, you know I don't condone violence in this house?" His father looked at him.
"You're from a history of violence, dad."
"I know. But I'm not angry at Phillip for doing what he did to that kid. I thought I would have been but I'm not."
"That's why he stepped in. It was my sister and your daughter. We would have murdered those kids. Are you still worried about that?"
"Phillip seems violent."
"You think Alex is the same way?"
"Maybe he is. Maybe he isn't."
"He's never hit me. And if he ever did he'd probably feel bad, and then let it haunt him for the rest of his life because that's what he does, he dwells on things. What I'm trying to say is that Alex has a good heart even though he's flawed."
"If he ever hits you or lays a hand on you..."
"Dad, he won't." Phai assured him.
"He's extreme. Impulsive."
"Like his dad. I know. I will watch out for both of them."
"Good."
Then Phai smiled. It was so like his dad to worry. "Did you thank him yet?"
Amyntor shook his head like it didn't matter.
"Dad, you can't hate him forever. He's trying."
"I know."
"Good night, dad." Phai turned off the lights and went back upstairs. He sat on his bed, took out his phone and thought about calling or texting Alex to see if he was okay. He probably was. He always was. He chucked the phone next to his pillow and laid back and closed his eyes.
The Lost Days, India
The worn out general was finally sleep. They had cleaned and wrapped his wound after sealing the skin with fire. They had changed his clothing to warm ones and fed him. Going days without food he should have been starving but he didn't have an appetite so they ended up forcing him. Hephaistion wasn't making it easy for them but they couldn't possibly know what he had gone through. He was still shivering with a fever but that wouldn't go down anytime soon with the weather changes. But they had built a fire and kept him close to it so that he could sweat out any virus.
"What happened?" Leonnatus asked the other generals who were sitting around a broken log wrapped in blankets. It wasn't raining but the winds were still wild.
"Clearly he encountered very violent offenders. We all know he would never cut his hair that short. Whoever he was taken by, treated him like property." Ptolemy answered, eating at some meat.
"Do you think he'll talk about it eventually?" Leonnatus said. "Maybe it will help clear his head from everything that happened."
"No. But I'm not sure he thinks he should be alive right now."
"He shouldn't be. He may fall ill soon with a disease we didn't see coming. We lack major significant resources because we're not back at camp. All we have is what we brought with us and even then, we don't have enough for everyone, in case more goes wrong." Perdicas remarked. "Even if we did find Alexander alive, he'd be dead by the time we got home."
"Don't speak aloud." Ptolemy warned in case Hephaistion wasn't sleeping. "Hasn't he already been through enough? This stupid land should have just taken him instead of spitting him back out to suffer some more. If we see any sign that he might not make it, we put him down as quickly as possible so that their is no pain."
"Can we stop being dramatic? He is going to make it. He's alive and taken care of now." Leonnatus barked lowly.
"It's not fair that we even have to think it." Ptolemy harked back.
"Just because he's alive doesn't mean he isn't dead." Perdicas responded indifferently.
"Alexander is dead, Hephaistion lives and decides to leave the empire and go back home, then what? What's going to happen when we get back with no king? Have you thought about that yet? Cassander is going to weigh in and do we really want him to take over?" Leonnatus asked in displeasure.
"The men would never approve." Ptolemy assured.
"He'll have the queens executed and then from there, divide." Perdicas said.
"He won't let us keep our ranks." Leonnatus said. "Then there would be war within the nation. Everyone is often fucking power hungry."
"The men are loyal to Alexander. Whatever his wishes were, will be granted." Ptolemy glared at the both of them. "Let's not speak of it anymore."
"You know, he's not going to allow Hephaistion to leave."
Ptolemy and Leonnatus frowned at Perdicas.
"Why do you say?" The curled haired general spoke.
"I've heard him speak about him before to other members of the army. He said that one day when Alexander is gone, Hephaistion will be his to rule and command. He's not just going to allow him to leave and go back home to family. He's always wanted what Alexander had."
Ptolemy seemed surprised. He always knew Cassander had a crush on the blue eyed general but only because Cassander went out of his way to insult and mock Hephaistion every chance he had. Cleitus and Philotas also held small liking to Hephaistion but it was just that, small. He began to wonder if they were all executed for different reasons other than treason. "Let's rest. We need the energy for tomorrow."
And they did. They wrapped up and slept while two soldiers stood watch.
Alex walked inside of his house after his late and long walk and saw his dad taking shots at the counter. "What's the celebration?" He asked placing a bag of something on the kitchen table.
"It was a good day." Phillip wasn't celebrating any victory but any excuse to drink.
Alex came up next to him. "Pour me one."
"Are you trying to get your mother to hate me even more?"
"Trust me, she's already at her limit of hates to give."
Phillip liked that response and poured him one of straight vodka.
Alex took it and it went down his throat easy and had his dad pour him another. The older man was impressed. His son was out-drinking him. Again. Alex was younger and that was all the credit he was going to give him.
"On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does mom hate you?" Alex asked out of the blue, slamming down another right after.
"10. By default." There was no hesitation to the answer.
"I think she hates me too. Well, now she does."
Phillip noticed the sadness in his son's voice when he said that. "No, she could never hate you. You're her life. I was replaced by you before we even had you."
The blonde scoffed.
"I'm serious, your mother planned you and she told me everything that you were going to be when she gave birth to you. The lady knew your name, your gender, your hair color, your eye color, your birth mark, everything. You are an exact replica of her mind. Hell, she knew more than the doctors."
"That sounds a little ridiculous for even you to believe."
"Hey, I was the one scared shitless when she was right. I saw you, coming out of her and it was the worst pain she's ever been in which she also predicted. I have never seen her so agonized but so thrilled."
"What did that mean to her? The pain?"
"That you were going to be a problem child. And look at that, you are."
Alex scoffed again. "Laugh it up. My problems originate from you two."
'You can't keep blaming us for your issues."
"I can and I will."
"Where did you go?" His dad finally asked.
"Out."
"That tells me a lot."
"I went to the town center."
Phillip glared at him. "Really?"
"Yea, dad, Really."
"For what?"
"A book."
"Did you forget about the library we own in this house? You probably spent twenty bucks on a damn book that we already have."
"I checked. We don't."
"Did you walk there?"
"Yes."
"You really do have time to spare."
"I know."
Then they were both silent sipping away at their drinks.
"Thank you, dad." Alex said breaking it.
"For what?" Phillip took it serious this time. He looked his son dead in the eye. He was finally listening.
"Everything. I figure you don't hear it enough, especially from me. And for sticking up for Phai's sister when you didn't have to."
"This is a new age, Alex. These kids don't care how other kids feel." Phillip poured two more shots. "One for your scary feminist mother and one for you. The sun is going down and I'm drinking with my son. You're going to be alright."
"I wish I could believe that. Cheers." Alex picked up the shot glass. Then Phillip leaned up and picked up his.
"Just don't become a lesser man. Cheers."
Olympias came strolling into the kitchen ignoring them and went straight for the refrigerator for a fresh red apple.
"Mom, take a shot."
"No thank you."
"Come on, it's almost your last day with us." Phillip bribed.
"So instead of two drunken idiots in my household, it will be three? I don't think so."
"You like wine. I'll pour you a glass of wine." Phillip suggested convincingly.
It was rare that he wasn't being obnoxious and she couldn't remember the last time he was this sweet to her.
She rolled her eyes as she watched her drunk ex husband pour her a messy glass of red dry wine. He never did take no for an answer. Then he scooted it over to her. She glared at Phillip, then at the potentially poisonous drink. She picked up the glass and chugged the wine till it was gone. He was right, she needed that.
"Goodnight, my boys." She put the glass down and disappeared for the rest of the night.
"She's going to sleep good tonight."
"You are too. I'm gonna head out." Alex said grabbing his light jacket from his chair.
"Your mother cleaned your room. You trashed the fuck out of it. Wanna talk about why you were so mad?"
"I don't remember."
"I guess that walk really cleared your head?"
"That's why I take them."
Phillip nodded. "Do anything you want but don't drive like this."
"I won't." Alex took the car key from his pocket and placed it on the counter. "Just heading to the field."
"Who are you meeting up with or do I really have to ask?"
All Alex could do was smile. He thought about the letter Phai wrote him. Phai thought he was beautiful. He never knew that when they were together.
"Phai?" Phillip knew it. He could tell when his son's blood boiled in a good way. "That boy is really pretty so I can understand the urge but if you're going to fuck keep it away from the house."
"Dad, I told you, we're not together anymore. Nothing can happen. And don't call Phai pretty. It's weird hearing it come from you."
"I know. But it's true. If I was younger and still drinking the way I did, I'd probably fuck him, too."
Alex blushed. "Dad, stop talking. I can't picture that right now. You're only saying this shit because you're drunk."
"Exactly. Anyway, have fun. I'll be passed out on the couch."
"Drinking is going to kill you one of these days."
"No, your mother is going to kill me one of these days."
"For drinking." Alex clarified.
Phillip just laughed and snatched a beer from the fridge.
Alex watched his father take the beer with him to go lay on one of the couches in the living room. He was worried about him but also knowing he'd be just fine. He always turned out fine. Then he left the house and headed to the shed.
The Lost Days, India
Hephaistion woke up in the middle of the night crying and whimpering in pain. The soldiers on duty were about to approach him but Ptolemy who was already awake had them stay put and he quickly went to go check on him. "What's wrong?" He gently held the general still.
Hephaistion shook his head. "It's nothing."
"Tell me, what is it?"
"I hurt."
"Where is the pain?" Ptolemy knew that Hephaistion wasn't going to tell him by the distant silence that just formed. "Let me take a look?"
The blue eyed man nodded and Ptolemy carefully pulled away the blanket and lifted the lower half of his chiton. He scanned over his leg but that didn't seem to be the problem. He saw fresh blood dripping down from the inner thigh further under the linen.
"Hephaistion, you're bleeding here." Ptolemy was quick to express and maybe just a little angry that he wasn't told about it.
"I know."
"Why didn't you say something? This is a serious fucking matter."
"What does it matter?" Hephaistion hissed back.
"Your safety and health. People die this way, from infection."
"If it makes you feel better, it doesn't hurt so much taking a shit."
"This is not funny. What did they do to you?"
"They did to me what our men do to other villages and cities and new lands and new people we discover. Violate, plunder, fuck."
"They took you?"
"Each one. And that was the second to worst part of it. Not my leg being torn open, not them pissing in my mouth or the poisonous arrow they put inside of me. It was all of them inside when I didn't want it. Just like how Phillip and Attalus and Cleitus would fuck me to anger Alexander when we were younger, times when we were mocked by the elders. I'm mad not because of the pain or the disease I might catch from it, I'm mad because my body once belonged to only Alexander. I used to be only touched by him. He protected me for so long from other invasions that I forgot about those unwanted times because when Alexander would take me, I'd forget that bad times even happened."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't feel sorry for me. I can handle it. Feel bad for all those people who we violated and raped. They couldn't."
"That goes against everything Alexander stood for. He'd never allowed it. And the ones he caught were put to death and the ones who still do, he doesn't know about."
"For a god, Alexander is dull witted." Hephaistion slowly laid back down turning his back to the curled haired general.
Ptolemy sighed watching him get as comfortable as he could without triggering the pain back. "I heard you talking to him before we found you. Why do you hate him so much now and why are you still searching for him?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'm just angry. I don't mean it."
"Alexander wasn't perfect. His legacy is wrong and undeserved in so many eyes but he was perfect in his own eyes because he had to be for those that expected it. Like his parents."
"They're gone. What could he still perfect for them?"
"Not for them. For you."
"Alexander only loved me for my beauty and my body, just like all men do."
"How could you say that? He loved you more than anything in the world. He captured the world to share with you. You must know that."
"I do. I'm trying to make all of this go easier."
Ptolemy sighed again. "You know, Alexander would scorch the entire world searching for you if you were lost. I can already picture his wrath coming to life. He needed the validation that he could do anything in case he needed to be everything for you. It's why he gets so frustrated when we disagree with him because to question him is to question you. You are still the most intelligent among us men. It's something we often don't give you credit for because we're too busy being fighters, so please, see passed it. Try?"
Hephaistion began to laugh lightly. "He's never been great at receiving constructive criticism. He always had that ridiculous offended look on his face, too."
Now the curled haired general chuckled. "It was really hard to not laugh in the board meetings because he'd get so angry."
"Like the time Antigonus belched during one of his speeches and Alexander grew furious because he thought he was being insulted when the reality was, Antigonus drank a lot the night before. Everyone rushed to his defense including myself so that Alexander wouldn't execute him in front of the entire staff."
"And how he'd apologize if he overreacted about something. He always felt bad and locked himself away until he overcame the guilt. He never allowed rage to win. If he did,"
"we'd all be dead." Hephaistion finished. "He was always so handsome when he was mad."
Ptolemy nodded. "Hephaistion, believe me when I say, he knows what you're doing for him. If he is alive and knew what they did to you, he'd burn them all to fucking ash. I'm going to allow the men to leave and I'm going to stay behind with you until we find him. I can't lose anymore of my men and I won't lose you, so we do this together, alright?"
"Okay." Hephaistion quietly uttered.
"I'm really sorry, but you have to turn around, and lay on your stomach." This was going to be the hard part for the both of them. "It has to be done."
"The world really does hate me." Hephaistion said slowly turning on his belly.
"The world is trying to help." Ptolemy gathered all the supplies he needed to treat and clean his backside. "I'm curious, you said the rape wasn't the worst thing that had happened. What could have possibly been worse than that?"
"They took what made Alexander happy when we would fornicate. My hair. It's all gone now."
"Yes, he took obsession to it." Ptolemy remembered. "He'd always say 'to have his hair is my greatest treasure'. We all just thought he was drunk because of the greater treasures that existed. He'd call us shallow and empty because we couldn't see it for what it was."
"Out of all the lands and all the beautiful men and women, he chose me and my hair." Then the blue eyed man closed his eyes to sleep more tears away.
Phai put his book away and smiled at Alex as the blonde teen entered the shed. "Hey. I didn't know you were coming. Are you okay?" The brunette asked. Alex looked a little sad.
"Yea. It's just my dad. He's never okay. I just have a bad feeling. That's all." Alex removed his jacket and threw it on the arm of the couch. Then he sat next to Phai and handed him a book.
Phai chuckled. "What's this for?"
"For you. I went to the book store. You like reading. It's yours."
Phai looked over the cover. "American Gods?"
"You'll like it." Alex assured him.
"How do you know? Did you read it?"
"No. I just know you will."
"Thanks, Alex." Phai loved books. Alex could tell by the gleeful look on his face as he flipped through it.
Phai looked at Alex and smiled. "My dad knows he should thank your parents but he won't."
"I have never seen my parents work together. Wish I could have been there."
"Your parents are crazy."
"They are, aren't they?" Alex chuckled. "I think my dad and mom might have sex tonight."
Phai snickered. "Gross. Why?"
"My mom is a lightweight, and she chugged a full glass of wine which makes her very flirty and my dad gets horny when he's had over a certain amount to drink and she's going to be leaving soon. If they do, good for them but it won't be romantic or anything but at least they'll be intimate for once before they die alone and separated."
Phai stared at Alex. He was so broken. "Are you hoping they do so that they would get back together? Is that even how that works?"
Alex looked at Phai. He stared into his soul as if he longed for something. Or maybe he just wanted to say something that he couldn't. It was that stare he always gave whenever he wanted something. But he knew he couldn't just grab him and kiss him. He knew he couldn't lay him down on the couch and make love to him. His only option was to let go of those thoughts and take the support. This wasn't really about his parents.
The blonde looked away then shook his head. "They don't belong together. I just want them to be happy about something before mom leaves again. Other than that they're a tragedy in need of a good ending."
Phai couldn't relate. His parents were still in love. They would still kiss each other and go on little dates. Maybe that's why Alex didn't understand how to except love because he didn't think he deserved it because his parents didn't know how.
Phai could smell the sweet alcohol on Alex almost to the point he could taste it. It was drawing him in. He wouldn't mind tasting it from his lips in this moment. Alex was acting mellow and calm and cute, a complete turn from earlier in the day. And it wasn't fair to Phai. It was innocence and instinct clashing. Again.
"What happened to Euri? Is your dad still seeing her?"
"Off and on."
"Do you get horny when you're drunk?" Phai asked out of curiosity.
Alex smiled widely and looked at Phai again. "Phai, you can't ask that."
Then the brunette laughed. "What? I'm just curious. I know you get passionate but the horny part must run in the family." He continued to joke.
Alex didn't respond but kept eyes and the smile on him and Phai didn't take his eyes away either. He looked into him the same way. It was that look of belief. The belief that Alex will always be his no matter the trials and tribulations. Here was this perfectly flawed human, shining brighter than the sun but followed only by darkness and then there was Phai, the suns complete opposite and Alex's 'dark sky' but he was all light. They were perfect together so why weren't they? Phai blinked lightly. Why didn't Alex see it? Everyone else did.
Then the blonde said something that Phai didn't expect. "Phai, I don't think there is anyone in this world perfect enough for you."
It sounded like a guilty pledge. Like Alex was sorry for falling in love with him in the first place and this was his apology to have taken up his time and wasted it. It hurt because what if he was right. What if Alex wasn't the one?
"I don't know if you know, so many people think you are the greatest there will ever be." Phai replied.
Alex confirmed with a firmness that made both their hearts stop. "I won't allow it."
It saddened Phai to hear that come from him. "I can't be with someone who isn't mentally present? I can't be with someone who awaits death like a surprise gift he was already told about? I know." Phai smiled sadly. "I have to find some chemistry with some other human. That's hard for me. I'm a recluse for a reason."
"I know how much that sucks to hear but I can't live with this endless pain. It hurts."
Phai didn't understand. Was he causing Alex pain? But he did understand. He was the only one who did. He leaned his head restfully on Alex's shoulder. "What did you want to do?"
Alex planted one leg up on the table in front of the couch. He leaned back and just stared up at the wood roof. "We can just sit here."
Phai chuckled. "I can do that."
And they talked until they said nothing. Phai pondering how much would change if he did let Alex go and Alex pondering on much more.
The Lost Days, India
It was morning and the squawks of the exotic birds had awoken the men. Ptolemy woke up first to find Hephaistion not where he rested during the night. "Where is he? Hephaistion!" He called out.
The rest of the generals and soldiers were swiftly back on guard.
"Damn. Find him!" Ptolemy ordered but right when they were about to spread out, Hephaistion limped out of the bushes and stared at the men.
"I'm here."
They were quickly relieved. They had already been through enough lost and found quests. "I told you not to go far or anywhere without my knowledge." Ptolemy scolded.
"I didn't want to wake you. We all could use sleep."
"Where did you head off to?" Perdicas questioned.
The blue eyed general shrugged. "I saw something."
"And you shouldn't be roaming around in your condition." Perdicas responded back at the careless man.
Hephaistion said nothing back and Ptolemy turned to his men. "Go now, head to quarters. Let Cassander know that we will be right behind you but you need to get moving. Don't let anyone other than our people know about Alexander."
Perdicas nodded and took Leonnatus who seemed hesitant to leave them there. But eventually he nodded back and they packed up.
"You remember your way?" Ptolemy asked.
"I can guide them. What about you?" Perdicas said.
"It's all in my head. We'll see you shortly."
They left them two horses, a sack of food and water and weapons before taking off.
Ptolemy helped Hephaistion on the horse. "Are you going to be okay riding?"
"I have to be."
"We're going at your pace."
"It's not far. I remember now."
"Good."
Ptolemy swung up on his horse. "Hephaistion, remember, what you find, you don't need to accept but you need to be prepared."
The general shortly nodded and they rode off, Ptolemy following the brunette.
It wasn't far from where they made camp and they came up on the trail where the Indians took Alexander. Hephaistion could hear the waterfall near by and he turned anxious.
"This is it." The general said and with excitement leaped down from his horse. "It's up ahead."
"Hephaistion, take it easy." Ptolemy commanded.
"This is it, Ptolemy. Don't you see him?"
The lion was waiting on the trail and an ambitious smile appeared on Hephaistion's face. Ptolemy quickly removed his blade but Hephaistion halted him. "No Tolem, it's Alexander. He wants us to follow him. I lost him before but I found him."
"That is only a hungry animal."
"He's not hungry. He's aware. Come. The horses won't follow."
The lion ran down the path and the blue-eyed man quickly followed not allowing himself to lose him again.
"Hephaistion! Wait! The curled haired general followed.
Things felt suddenly mystic. He was able to run with no pain and he had the strength to go on. The sun rose above the heavens and evaporated away the moisture that turned the journey sluggish and he was running down the path into new light, keeping Alexander in his sight. And as if Alexander's vision was his own, he saw the horizon with no line...but it was there and he could hear children laughing playfully and running along his pace through the tangled tropics. He looked toward the sound and he saw a young and joyous Alexander and Hephaistion running from responsibility like they used to do as children. The general smiled again, at the active memory and looked straight ahead seeing the edge of the cliff. The lion disappeared like it had been a symbol all along and Alexander awaited at the edge instead with a hand held out for his lover.
And with no reluctance, Hephaistion took his hand and they both jumped together off the cliff down a 50 foot drop and into the steamy cold water.
Phai was deeply focused on the pages of the book Alex knew he'd enjoy. He didn't get far before already making up his mind about it. He did like it.
He was so engrossed, for a minute he had forgotten that he was not in his room and chose to spend the night with Alex who was sleeping next to him. It also took a minute to realize that Alex was actually sleeping. Sleeping. His eyes were closed and if he wasn't snoring as loud as he was, Phai would have thought he was dead. They had conversed all night, then Phai decided to read and Alex decided to just sit their preoccupied with his own thoughts and then suddenly he was asleep.
Phai dropped his book and quickly stood and watched in complete shock. Because it was unusual. The blonde man with closed eyes and a pleasant restful look on his face shouldn't have been sleeping. Phai couldn't seem to wrap his mind around it or how it happened. Or when. But he was sleeping, Phai thought again, this time with excitement instead of panic. He crept quietly up to Alex who looked super peaceful even though he was snoring like a sedated zoo animal.
He wanted to cry and tell Alex the good news but he also wanted Alex to enjoy the sleep as long as possible...
...so Phai sat down on the floor of the small shack and watched him. He watched his king sleep.
Ptolemy came up to the end of the rocky cliff and looked down at the pool Hephaistion just plunged deep into. He wasn't crazy enough to jump so he found another way down. Hephaistion swam and swam deeper and deeper into the entrancing turquoise springs being fed by an unseen river pushing him further and further down.
Hephaistion had always been a water baby, and he's saved more drowning lives than he could count. This time, he had no idea how deep the water went and if I was even beneath the surface.
Ptolemy found the base of the cascade landing and couldn't see him anywhere. He knew he could hold his breath but not for much longer.
Hephaistion looked around the darkness. The further down he went, the darker it became. He couldn't find him anywhere so he traveled back up for air. When Ptolemy saw him he rushed over to him. "What were you thinking? There could have been sharp boulders down there."
"I can't see him."
"Breathe and relax. You're only going to trouble your air if you don't."
The vibration of his heart was rushing him to drop down again. "He's down there. I know he is."
"It's deep. It has to be about thirty feet." Ptolemy told him.
"I can do it."
"We can do it. We've played in far vast waters before with unusual looking creatures. Inhale and only go under when you're certain. Got it."
Hephaistion nodded and took the knife Ptolemy handed to him. He held on to it tight. It's what he needed to cut the king loose. "We count to 10."
Ptolemy nodded back. "I've accepted too many suicide missions in my life. Let this be the last one?"
Hephaistion kissed his friend on the head. "It will be the last. I promise."
"Only for Alexander."
They both began to relax. Breathing in and out, increasing as much lung capacity as they could.
They both closed their eyes preparing for a brutal rescue attempt.
They both counted to ten before sinking under the water to find their king.
X
Alex's sleep was compromised and he aggressively awoke but he was choking.
X
They had finally managed to unleash the king from the solid stone that had dragged him down into the deep. They hauled him out back to the land along the edge of the torrent.
X
Phai quickly rushed to his side as Alex was puking up what looked like large amounts of water. "Alex?" Phai couldn't even comprehend what the fuck he was seeing.
X
"Alexander, wake up!" The general cried while Ptolemy covered the naked king.
X
Phai held onto him, keeping him as upright as possible. The vomit ended but now Alex was fighting the feeling of being suffocated. He clutched onto Phai's arm but Phai wasn't concerned with the bruise that would come from it later.
X
Ptolemy, knew there wasn't hope to begin with so he backed off and watched the lover beat at the kings chest over and over. Hephaistion brought his mouth to the soggy lips and breathed into him trying to agitate his lungs. He did that until his own breath was wasted but nothing he tried, no matter how hard, brought the fabled eyes to open. Hephaistion, in complete terror and shock had stopped. He wasn't waking up. Alexander always woke up. Why wasn't he waking up? He knew why but wouldn't accept it. The king had been submerged under water for too long. His body was swelled and slippery. He was dead. Even if he could be revived, he would be brain-dead. No human could survive days under water.
The confused general blinked and there was a frown of deep seated sadness and denial in his blue silvery eyes. Alexander wasn't just any human. He was immortal. He was born from Zeus. He had made many deals with gods and goddesses and they were supposed to protect him. After realizing that nothing and no one had been fair to Alexander since he marched them into India, Hephaistion lost it. Completely. He screamed and screamed and cried out until it made him physically sick and Ptolemy couldn't watch. It was official. The king was dead. Hephaistion needed to see for himself so that he could move on. But this wasn't going to help him move on. This was going to destroy and kill him.
He came all this way for his body and now he had it but what was the lesson? What was all of this for?
"I can't look at him. I can't look." Hephaistion scooted quickly away from the dead corpse and his entire body became fraught with tension and anxiety. His mind had shut down completely and any rational thinking became irrational and any vision became lost to blurred sight. He was hysterical and panic stricken and breathing felt unbearable. "They took him away from me. They took his life. That life was mine. They took him from me. They took him from me!" His entire existence was gone. He always had Alexander in his life even before they met. Hephaistion when very little used to dream of a brilliant golden figure. He could never see its face but it appeared like the sun for the morning and its heart was a flame that burned life into existence. Then when he met Prince Alexander, that dream faded. Now to lose the dream and his sun, he was to lose his sanity.
Ptolemy thought about letting him be mentally deranged until he exhausted himself but he couldn't lose him also, to the land that had been taking and turning everyone else so he came over to the heart broken sobbing man and embraced him tightly and comfortingly trying to alleviate the grief and rage, just a little. "They took him from me. They took him from me." The general in clear tears repeated while bawling in the curled haired generals arm.
"They did. And they will pay for it."
I wasn't meant to die that way. I was supposed to die from a broken heart. It looks like fate swapped our places. My life has always meant to be tragic. Not glorified. And the world will continue to pee on my leg and I will fall down the hill I keep running up and pain will take over because it wants to. Anything, to keep a beloved heart down.
Alex coughed up the last of it and wiped at his mouth. He achingly sat back against the couch focusing on his respiratory limit then he quickly pulled off his white shirt over his head and tossed it aside like it was a bother to him. He was burning up. "Fuck." He said rubbing his head from the random dysfunction.
"Alex, are you okay? What the fuck just happened?"
Alex looked up. The blue eyes looked deeply confounded and scared. "Yea, I'm fine. I think. Was I asleep?"
"Yea but just for a little bit. We need to get you to a hospital. Now. Come on." Phai grabbed Alex by the arm and pulled him to stand.
"How long was I out?" Alex didn't seem to think it urgent enough.
"Maybe an hour. Done asking questions? Let's go."
Alex looked around the shed like he had lost his train of thought. "Really?"
Phai just nodded.
"We were just...somewhere. We weren't here just now. You found me. I drowned and you were sad and in pain because you couldn't save me."
"I don't care where you think we just were. You're fucking alive. You scared the fuck out of me. Alex, that's not normal. What just happened?"
Alex watched Phai overreact and a smile grew on his face. It was one of those 'up to no good' cheeky smiles.
"What? What are you smiling about? That wasn't fucking funny! Are you kidding me right now?"
"It hurts me to see you sad."
"Really? I can't tell because you have that stupid smile on your face like you always do when serious situations are happening right in front of you."
"I know what I want." The blonde uttered irresistibly with eyes captivating and dominant.
"You need to want to go to the E.R." Phai rebuked. "You're not acting like yourself. Put on your shirt and jacket. Let's go."
"Are you scared?"
Phai's face hardened. "We both should be."
"If only you could see what I see." Alex went up to Phai and kissed him slowly and softly. It was the easiest kiss they ever had. It was smooth and skilled. Then in seconds it became feral and longing. He kissed the beautiful blue eyed man like he wanted, how he wanted. Phai never thought he'd have Alex like this ever again and he was a little confused about the tongue inside of his mouth but he accepted it because it was what he also wanted. Then Phai quickly pulled back thinking more on 'why'.
"Wait, Alex?" He breathed out.
"I'm good." The blonde smiled faultlessly.
Phai felt his head. Alex was on fire. Maybe he wasn't thinking right. He was definitely running a high fever. "You're hot."
"I know."
"You're not well. That's what I meant."
"I promise you, Phai, I'm well. I'm very well."
There was nothing Phai could do to get out of whatever hypnotic state of mind the blonde seemed to be in. Maybe it was a symptom of sleep deprivation.
Alex ran fingers down Phai's supple cheek and neck all the way to the back of his head where he wrapped his thick delicate hair around his hand. "Let me love you." Then he tugged Phai's hair back and the blue eyes went to go shut as Alex licked up Phai's sensitive throat. It shouldn't have felt as good as it did. But by the way things were going, holding back would be pointless. Alex was on a different planet.
"You're delirious right now." Phai said, because why would Alex be wanting this, now? After he almost died by asphyxiation. After they told each other this couldn't happen. Why did he have to be so damn charming? Why did he have to be beautiful and twisted and mysterious. Why did he have to be this 'dark fantasy'?.
Alex's body was now completely against his and Phai's thoughts were now the enemy and they were messy and wrong. The heat of Alex and his muscles built up like a warrior was making it hard to not just discharge right then and there. But Phai was ready for it. Ready for anything. Every part of him was falling out of control. Alex had a way of making him feel wavering and wanted. And it only made him jealous thinking of anyone after who gets to feel him this same way.
Fuck. Now rough and persuasive hands were feeling on him. Phai took that as a legit response. Alex never seemed so sure in his life. They didn't care that it was two in the morning. They didn't even care if their friends came charging in. This was happening because they both wanted it even if it were to mean nothing once it was over.
Finally Phai began to remove his own shirt in a desperate and clumsy attempt to feel Alex's skin against his. Alex helped him take it off and threw it over by his. Then the blonde started to unbutton and unzip Phai's jeans then did something he never did. It was always something Phai did for him. The blonde got to his knees slowly and seductively and hugged Phai around his hips.
The browned haired man held Alex's head close as the warm tongue warped his sex organ. It made him feel lightheaded and good. Wanting to explode was too gentle a term. Alex was definitely spellbound. The way he stroked him with his warm inviting mouth felt like Alex was transferring his fever over to him. "Alex?" Phai moaned suffering at the overbearing sensation while tugging tightly on the blondes wavy hair.
Alex stopped and stood back up to face Phai, who looked a little nauseous. "Yes, Phai?"
"I really think we need to go get you checked." That wasn't the real reason for wanting him to stop. He didn't want to cum that quickly. "As much as I want this, I can't in good conscience fuck you and then you die because you overheated." Phai gave him a few seconds to take it seriously and Alex decided for some reason not to. Then he sighed because Alex's expression was that of a clueless puppy. He didn't hear a damn word he just said. Phai didn't know what it meant. He was still up in the air about what was actually happening. Was Alex possessed by a sex god? Why suddenly the good mood? Was it a wet dream? Were they back together? Was Alex just horny? Did he think he was invincible now because of one hour of nap-time? Was it the alcohol buzz finally kicking in?
Ignoring Phai's concern yet again, Alex took Phai's hand and glided it down to the brunettes own hard wet cock. "I need you to feel yourself."
Nothing mattered anymore after that. Arguing with an Alex who wasn't grasping anything mentally was fairly pointless and Phai didn't hesitate and touched and clutched himself and whimpered inertly at how good it felt. He wasn't a fan of self pleasure but with Alex there guiding and watching him, it felt mutual. The blonde sucked and ate at his neck and chest while Phai stroked his own cock. This was a different kind of poison, a different type of torture, something better than pleasure. It felt beyond good, fulfillment was beside the point.
Phai removed his hand from touching himself and pushed Alex on the couch, covering him with his leaner body and taking over the affectionate part. He made love to every part of his body as if they never made love before. Like this was the first time he ever had him. Then he lifted his chin, adoring his kings fingers stretching around his neck which was Phai's favorite thing he allowed. He also liked his hair pulled. There was never a reason why he grew out his hair as long as it was but Alex was the only reason not to cut it. Then Alex made a sound. It sounded almost like a growl or a erotic purr and Phai couldn't take it anymore. He wanted this crazy, temperamental, joy ball of a man inside of him.
Alex turned Phai around and hugged him as tight as he could from behind as Phai's glowing rear pressed into his sticky abdomen never wanting to let him go in case this was the last time. It felt natural and easy, nothing surrounded them but air, their breath and their bodies and being coveted by each other once again felt paranormal.
They made love fanatically and louder than a thunder storm. Thrusts in perfect motion from behind, Phai held onto him tighter than the urge to come. The truth was, this couldn't end, because what if it did? For good? What if this was it?
But it had to end. Like all good things. They couldn't make love forever and when they both came, Alex inside Phai because that's what Phai wanted and Phai all over Alex's solid squeeze, they both sat up with hair wild and grins free. And though they were in a bliss they thought they'd never share again…
...Hephaistion mourned the person he'd never share an intimate moment with ever again.
'The Beautiful loves no one, except me. If anyone takes you other than me, they're a thief and I will take you back. I don't know how to let go but I do know how to find, and where you go, my heart will follow like a symphony following its composed melody. I'm coming back for you and I hope you come back for me because you and I are meant to be.'
That was his letter to me, that I had finally received.
And I loved it. And I love him.