AN: Hi all. I may be late posting Sunday's update, we will be out of town and I made a last minute edit to this chapter that will require a potential rewrite of the next one, depending where my mind takes me next. If nothing else, I'll have the next update up by Wednesday.
It's still dark outside when he nudges her, trying to wake her up. She grumbles and tries to move away from him and he chuckles at her adorable grumpiness.
"Tris, wake up." He whispers before he kisses her shoulder up to her neck.
"I'm sleeping." She grumbles again and he bites her shoulder, "Ouch."
"You're awake now." He replies.
"No, I'm not, I'm still asleep." She whines when he turns her over so she can face him.
"I want to take you somewhere." Eric says and she cracks her eyes open.
"In the middle of the night?" She asks in a sleepy voice.
"Yes, the middle of the night is the best time. Come on, get dressed." Eric prompts and she watches his naked back as he slips out of the bed.
"You usually want me naked." She quips as she crawls towards him and wraps her arms around him. Her hands travel down his firm stomach and when she feels the tickle of hair he exhales loudly. She takes him in her hand, slowly stroking him and he moans softly, "Do you still want to leave?"
"We can wait." He murmurs as he turns towards her.
She continues to stroke him, and his hand joins hers as he watches her. She rises on her knees and wraps her lips around the head of his cock, causing him to moan loudly as she slowly works her mouth down his shaft. His hands move to her hair, threading it back and holding it as she moves her mouth back and forth over him.
"Tris…." Her name falls from his lips as she continues, adding her hand, "I want you… I want you so much."
She slowly moves her mouth away from him, "What do you want from me?"
"Everything."
She turns away from him, and bends over so that she's on all fours on the bed. He presses his lips to her back, running his hands over her breasts and then over to her hips as he pulls her closer to the edge of the bed.
He begins to rub her between her legs, rolling her clit between his fingers before pushing two fingers inside of her tight heat. In a matter of seconds, he's removed his fingers and pushed his cock inside of her, grabbing onto her hips to pull her back until he's fully sheathed inside of her.
"You feel so fucking good." He says quietly as he begins to slowly pump in and out of her.
The way he's moving, the kisses he presses onto her back and shoulders, and the slow pace of tonight is so different from the way they started, and she enjoys the way his hands feel on her.
"Tris…." He whispers as he pulls her back flush to his chest and he continues to move against her, "You are perfect…."
Her arm is hooked around the back of his neck, and he has one of his arms wrapped around her front holding her up as she falls apart, and when he follows immediately after he drops his head to her shoulder and tries to catch his breath. She flips down in the bed and he slumps down with her, wrapping around her and breathing her in.
"Damn Eric." She breathes out.
"You were made for me." He presses his lips to her shoulder, then her neck and she can feel his cock pressing against her back.
He lifts one of her legs over his arm and she feels him pressing against her, "Eric..." She says breathily.
"Every part of you is perfect. I can't get enough of you," He murmurs as he slides inside of her again.
"I love the way you feel inside of me." She admits.
"I love everything about you." He replies as he starts to move slowly against her.
She realizes his walls are completely down.
"Eric...harder..."
"Beg me." He growls from behind her.
"Please, Eric. Fuck me harder. Please, I need you."
She can feel his hand moving up her chest and when it grips her throat she moans. He doesn't squeeze too hard, but there's something about the way he's moving behind her, everything he's saying to her and the way he feels inside of her that's got her panting his name.
"Tris..." He hisses her name as he stills, and she can feel him pulsing inside of her.
They're trying to catch their breath when she can feel him kissing her neck again, and for a moment she thinks he's trying for round three.
"Stop distracting me, we're still going out." He pants and she pulls his hand up to her mouth and presses a kiss to the back of it.
"How'd you know this was here?" She asks as she looks around in awe.
He'd brought her to the roof, where there was a pool enclosed in a glass room. The pool is heated, and the water warm around them as he holds her back to his chest and they lean back and look at the stars.
"Amar. I was trying to figure out somewhere we could go that wouldn't set Number Boy off, and when I asked Amar for his help he told me about it. He told me we could come up here tonight." He replies.
"You actually planned this out?" She asks him and he nods against her. She can't help but smile, and she threads her fingers with the ones he has splayed across her stomach, "Thank you."
He nods again and presses his lips to her cheek. She'd protested when he'd stripped down to her boxers and dove into the pool, but eventually she'd relented and stripped down to just her bra and underwear and jumped in after him. The water was perfect, almost like a warm bath and the stars were incredibly bright. They sit together for a while just enjoying the night sky and Tris decides to try to get him to open up again.
"What do you want to do when this is all over?"
"Move on." He answers quietly.
"How so?"
She can feel him shift beneath her and she moves around in the water until she's straddling him. He looks anywhere but her, and she tries again, "Will you go back to Chicago?"
"I don't know." He replies.
"George told me there are other cities like Milwaukee out there. He said Chicago is actually the worst of all of the populated cities, and there are many others who don't follow any of the rules or laws that Chicago does."
"At this point we'd be foolish to believe there aren't more cities." He remarks.
"You always knew Milwaukee was out there, didn't you?"
He nods once, "Yes, ever since being in leadership."
"Which means that Jeanine also knew, especially since she knew about the fringe." She replies.
He closes his eyes and leans his head back against the side of the pool, "I shouldn't have ever told her what I found."
"The fringe?"
"All of it. Leadership training includes going outside the fence, we shadow some of the patrol teams who do perimeter sweeps on the regular out there. They don't go far, but one day I was out there I saw something on the horizon. I was curious, so I took off on my own, and eventually found the fringe." He replies.
"You started taking them to Jeanine?" She asks quietly and he nods, "Why?"
"She wanted people for testing, and I didn't want to take anyone from Chicago to her. I thought it was a compromise."
"Because you didn't know them?" She presses.
"Tris, please stop."
"I want to know, Eric. I need to know what you were thinking back then and what you're thinking now. I don't think I am asking for too much."
"You are." He says as he gently pushes her away from him and he swims to the other side of the pool, climbing out and grabbing a towel.
She climbs out of the pool and wraps her towel around herself, carefully approaching Eric. She drops down on the chair next to him and he stares off into the distance.
"It's not easy to talk about." He says, "I took an oath to follow orders, and I did the best I could. It doesn't mean anything I did was right, but I did it anyway. I wanted to stay in their good graces and I wanted to help lead the city when Jeanine finally got the power from Abnegation."
"What was going to happen to Abnegation?"
"You already know. Don't make me say it." He replies.
"My family… all of those innocent people…. Why?" She asks and he says absolutely nothing. "Why?"
"Because I didn't care back then."
She thinks about his answer, and she wills back the emotions that are swirling in her head, "Do you care now?" She asks in a small voice.
He could lie to her, but it's the wrong thing to do, "I'm not sure."
"My parents are still there." She replies and he closes his eyes and rubs his face with his hands.
"Tris, I'm trying every day to be better. I don't know what to tell you."
"I'm trying to know who you are. Sex isn't enough to keep us together if fundamentally we are different people." She replies.
"You're right." He admits. They sit together in silence and he eventually wraps his arms around her and pulls her to straddle his lap, "I want to change for me, but you're who gives me the motivation to be a better man. I promised you that I wouldn't lie to you, which is why I tend to avoid answering questions."
"I know that you're changing, it's why I've always stayed."
She moves to lay down on the oversized lounge chair and he lays behind her, spooning her like he does when they're in bed at night.
"Eric." She says quietly.
"Yeah?"
She takes a slow breath in, before exhaling, "The day you gave me my sim, when you figured out I was divergent..." She trails off and he can feel her tensing up.
"Just ask it." He says quietly, "It's okay. I'll answer anything tonight. I promise you."
"Why did you... why did you want sexual favors from me?"
He presses his lips to the back of her head, then leans his head against hers, "I don't know. That's not who I am."
"Had you done that before?"
"No." He replies, "It doesn't make it better, because I did that to you."
"I'm not some blushing virgin, but I've certainly never bargained that way before." She replies quietly.
"I shouldn't have done that to you."
"No, you shouldn't have. Then again, the same could be said for me for going through with it." She replies.
"No. Don't try to turn this around on you. I didn't give you a choice, and you went into survival mode." He replies.
"I could have gone to Tobias after that day, even though he and I weren't as close as we once were, he would have helped me. I made my choices too." She retorts.
"Why didn't you?"
She's quiet for several beats, and for a moment he is actually worried.
"Because I liked what we did. I've had a hard time wrapping my head around it, but even though it was questionable, I liked it." She admits quietly.
"I didn't expect things to go the way they've gone with us based on how we started." Eric replies.
Tris is quiet again and he tightens his arms around her, "When this is over, what happens to us?" She asks, catching him off guard.
"We're still us. Always."
"Does that mean you want to continue this?" She asks.
"Of course, I do. I have no intention of ending this. I've always wanted you." He replies. Her breath hitches and he feels it, and he presses his lips to her shoulder, "The day of your fear sim, I was attracted to you, and my body reacted. I'm a lot of things, Tris, none of them were ever good, not until I fell in love with you. I've tried to fight what I feel for you because I know I'm not a good person, but I can't."
She turns over so she's facing him, "You love me?"
"I do." He presses his lips to hers again and she smiles against him.
When she pulls away he just looks at her, and he can see her blushing even in the dim light, "I love you too."
The smile she gets from him is brief, but it's the one that he reserves for her.
"That night in the cabin, when you said it, I was fucked. I still don't think I deserve you." He replies and she can tell he's getting uncomfortable.
"How did you get the cabin?" She asks, completely shifting gears and it surprises him again.
"I found it when I was a kid. There was an old Amity who lived out there, a guy named Lance. I got to know him, and started bringing him food, blankets, stuff like that to help him get by. He was sick, and wanted to live his final days in peace. One day, he gave me the key, told me the cabin was mine and to take care of it."
"What happened to him?" Tris asks.
"He went away to die. He always told me he would. I've just kept the place up, just in case, and no one's ever once bothered me out there."
"If we make it back to Chicago, let's live there." She says and the surprise on his face is noticeable.
"You'd want that?" He asks and she nods her head, "Okay, yeah, whatever you want I'll do."
He wraps his arms around her and she leans against him, appreciating his warmth, "Would you want that too?"
"I'd never given a lot of thought to a future, not outside of the power I had been promised had I gone along with their plans. I guess in my mind, Chicago would be much like it was when we were there, except instead of factions it would just be a city, our city."
"Now that things are different, what do you see for your future?" She asks.
He should tell her that there's a good chance he'll not have a future. He'd willingly helped with the war plans, and he'd also brought people to Jeanine knowing if they didn't prove to be useful they'd be disposed of like trash. His hands were dirty, and knowing that Jeanine received a death penalty, his chances of walking away from this unscathed were slim to none.
But he can't.
He can't hurt her again, he can't tell her that it doesn't matter what he wants, that he'll never have it. He can't tell her that he loves her, and that for the first time in his young life he thinks about having someone permanent in his life. That every day when he wakes up, he watches her sleeping against him, and realizes he'll never tire of it. He can't tell her in the scant four months that he's known her that he's completely changed who he thought he could be, all in an effort to show her that he was capable of being more than what he's always been.
"Us. You." He says quietly.
"Do you think we're too young to think long-term?" She asks.
"No. I think that when we know what we want, we work towards it. Age is irrelevant." He replies.
"What do you want?"
"At this point, it's no longer just what I want, it's what we want. Whatever we decide down the line, we do." He replies.
"While I appreciate the thought you're putting into this, I do want to know what you want." She replies.
"Maybe get married, maybe have some kids, or just us. I just want you, Tris. I have this entire time."
"You'd actually want a family?" She asks and he nods against her.
"I'd want it all with you, Tris. In a perfect world, where I made better decisions, and none of this shit happened, we'd have it all."
She pulls herself against him and wraps around him, and he presses his lips to the top of her head.
"We can still have it all." She whispers.
He closes his eyes, he can't hurt her, not when she's finally happy.
It felt like they'd only been back in their room sleeping for minutes when Four summoned Eric early in the morning for leadership updates from Chicago, and Tris was left alone with her thoughts.
She found out from a later text from Four that Eric had been called to answer questions via a video conference with Candor, and he offered to take her to lunch. He'd gotten the necessary pass, and they ended up at the same coffee shop she and Eric had discovered away from the compound, and once they're settled at a table she finally decides to pry.
"What's going to happen to him?"
Four chews his salad slowly, trying to decide how much to say, "That should really come from him."
"Tobias, you're a leader, you know the protocols that are going to be followed. What will happen?"
"I can't talk to you about this, not in the way you want, but I do have some questions for you." He replies and she sighs and nods, "What are your plans with him?"
"I don't know. He's been pretty closed off for most of our relationship, but the way he's acted these past several days makes me think he's saying goodbye." She replies, "He's been much more open, and he's made it a point to spend quality time together, but it feels like a distraction from something bigger."
"You're quite perceptive." He says vaguely.
"Candor will come for him, won't they?" She asks and he just stares at her, "Tobias, I know none of this makes any sense to you, but I love him. I need to be prepared."
He wasn't ready to hear her admit it to him. He'd suspected that Tris was in love with Eric, but he'd held on to the hope that this hadn't gotten serious.
"I think you should be prepared for a goodbye."
"A permanent one?" She asks.
"You know I can't answer that, it'll be up to the leadership there to decide his innocence or guilt, and to consider any special circumstances when it comes to his cooperation."
She steels herself and looks into his brown eyes, "When?"
"Very soon."
"Will they consider that he changed his mind?" She asks and he sighs.
"The fact that Eric is who went to Jack with this is what's given him this month out here with you. Jack has been arresting everyone who followed Byron, Jeanine and Max, and putting them on trial. Eric's likely going to be the final trial."
"So, this is it?" Tris asks.
"I've already said more than I should, I'm sorry Tris."
"Me too." She whispers.
She'd tried talking to Eric when he got back to their room that night, but he had no interest in sharing anything that had happened during his video conference with Candor. He'd seemed distracted, but they'd had a nice dinner downstairs with her friends. She was surprised when he was willing to sit with them, and even though he still didn't talk much she appreciated the effort he was putting forth.
No matter what she tried, she couldn't get him to open up, but her distraction techniques did lead to some mind-blowing sex, and they'd spent most of the night wrapped up in each other. It doesn't feel that they've been sleeping long when she can hear people talking, sometimes even shouting but the voices seem so far away, and Eric pulls her closer to him. She snuggles against his warm skin, and listens to the soothing beat of his heart.
The knocking on her door startles both of them, and she hastily throws on Eric's discarded shirt and her sleep shorts and walks over to the door, looking out of the peephole to see who's disturbing them in the middle of the night.
She doesn't recognize the man.
"Who is it?" Eric rumbles in a sleep thickened voice.
"I don't know." She whispers.
He pulls on sweatpants and walks over to the door, looking out and then sighing heavily. He looks down at her and presses his lips to hers briefly before opening the door.
"Jack." Eric says evenly and Tris looks between Eric and the man who's entered the room.
"We were told you were staying in a different room, apologies for the intrusion Miss..." He trails off.
"Prior. I'm Tris Prior, and you are?" She asks. She already knows, but she needs to hear it to be sure.
"Jack Kang, leader of Candor." Eric answers for him and the talk and handsome Asian man nods his head, "Are you taking me back?"
"We are. There's an armored vehicle waiting outside for us. I've asked the Dauntless troops to fall back, will we have any problem with you leaving?" Jack asks.
"No."
"You're taking him back to Chicago?" Tris asks and Jack trains his dark eyes on her.
"He's arresting me." Eric says as he finds some of his clothes in the drawer, "Jack, I need to get dressed, and I need a few minutes with her. Will that be possible?"
Jack glances around the room, "I will have to stay in here, however I can wait by the door and you can change in there," he gestures towards the bathroom, "and she can accompany you. I'll give you privacy and as much time as I can."
Eric sighs and nods and Tris follows him into the bathroom. When he closes the door behind them she immediately starts asking questions.
"Did you know they were coming here?" She asks and he nods, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I didn't want to hurt you."
"Are you fucking kidding me? You didn't think this would hurt?" She asks angrily.
"Tris-"
"How long have you known that you were going to be arrested?" She presses.
"I've been in contact with Jack regularly since this started, I always knew."
"You should have fucking told me-"
He grabs her and wraps his arms around her, "I don't want to fight, not tonight, please Tris just give me one more break even though I don't deserve it."
She pushes away from him, "I'm going with you, I need clothes." She tries to open the door and he presses his hand against it.
"No. You are not to return to Chicago until this shit is over. Jeanine, Max and my father are dangerous, and their sentences have only been decided, not yet carried out, plus I have no idea how many followers are still out that have managed to stay off the radar." He replies firmly.
"You can't keep me here, I have a choice!"
"Not this time, it's fucking dangerous and I don't want anything to happen to you. I've kept you alive this entire time, please just listen to me."
"What's going to happen to you?" She asks and he closes his eyes briefly and rubs them before answering.
"There's a good chance I'll be convicted based on my initial cooperation."
"What does that mean?" She presses.
"Incarceration, memory wipe or death. It will depend on the vote once I'm convicted." He replies.
"Death?" She gasps and he nods his head, "Only Jeanine was sentenced to death."
"For crimes against humanity, for killing the divergent Tris, some of which I brought to her." He says quietly and she begins to shake.
"You told me you didn't kill anyone."
"Tris, I didn't, but my actions led to their eventual death." He explains and she shakes her head.
"You've known this the entire time we've been here and you never told me." She says angrily.
"You know I was in deep before you. I would have gone along with their plans, and I was trying to even get more power than Jeanine and Max in the future government by taking you to my father. They're not going to care that I changed my mind." He replies.
"Why wouldn't they? It matters to me that you changed your mind, it showed me you're not the monster they think you are." She argues.
He leans towards her and presses his forehead to hers, "I'm every bit the monster they think I am, I have been for my entire life."
"Not anymore-"
"Eric, we need to go." Jack says from the other side of the door.
"You're not. You may have been at one point, but you've changed. You've got to show them, Eric. You don't need to be so closed off and vague when answering their questions. Talk to them like you have with me, please." She doesn't realize she's crying until he wipes the tears from her cheeks, "Please tell them everything. You promised me you'd make it right, you tell them everything."
"I'll tell them everything. I promise you." He replies.
"You're not a monster, not anymore, you are capable of so many good things. Please show them that." She says and he kisses her quickly.
"I love you, Tris." He says before kissing her one more time, "I have to go."
When they walk out of the bathroom, he puts his hands behind his back so Jack can cuff him, and when the door to their room is open Tris sees Four waiting in the hallway.
"You're going with him?" She asks and he nods.
"I am."
"Tobias, please let me come too. Please-"
"She can't, it's dangerous." Eric interrupts and Tris cries harder.
"He's right, Tris." Four replies.
She feels arms wrap around her and she sees Christina, holding her against her and trying to calm her.
Eric turns towards her and says things she never thought she'd hear from him.
"I'm so sorry, Tris. I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you."
"Eric..." She trails off and Jack nods his head indicating she can approach Eric. Tris wraps her arms around him and he rests his head on her shoulder, "Eric I love you. Please just show them who you are now."
"I love you too. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." She can feel him shaking against her and she knows he's crying.
She puts her hands on his cheeks and pulls his face up to hers. She wipes the tears that are slipping out and she kisses him again.
"I know. You'll show them too. They'll believe you."
"We have to go." Jack says quietly and Eric kisses Tris one more time.
"I love you. Always, Tris. Don't forget it." He says as they escort him out of the room. He's led away, and he watches her over his shoulder until he can no longer see her.
Tris had barely slept since he'd been gone. It was now day three, and things were once again at a stand-still. Four had called earlier that morning, and he'd reported that Eric had gone through his truth serum testimony yesterday, and he'd gotten the version that was unable to be manipulated by his divergence after he had voluntarily disclosed it. Eric had admitted under the truth serum that he was once a willing participant in Jeanine, Byron and Max's plans to overthrow the government by any means necessary. He testified to bringing Jeanine factionless in Chicago, and those people he'd found outside of the fence to test on, because it was easier and it kept her off of his back. He wasn't too alarmed when she had pushed to test the new initiates because he had no personal ties to anyone, he never had until he'd met a transfer named Tris Prior.
Eric tried to fight the serum when Jack Kang pressed him about the origins of his involvement with Tris. Jack knew from his own observation that Eric loved the young woman, but he needed the entire truth to be exposed, and Eric had painfully admitted that the first time he'd officially met the Abnegation transfer was the day that Jeanine and Max had ordered him to start the fear simulations in order to weed out any suspected divergent. The people he'd been bringing Jeanine hadn't even been tested, so he wanted to weed out the people who were absolutely no use to her research. He'd easily discovered Tris Prior's divergence, and instead of turning her in he had given her an ultimatum – she could perform sexual favors for him in exchange for him hiding her secret.
The disgusted noises and looks he'd gotten from the crowd were deserved, especially the way that Andrew Prior had glared at him.
He admitted under the serum to realizing early into his arrangement with Tris Prior that he was developing feelings for her, and that he'd begun to lie to Max and Jeanine and covered for Tris. His last conflict was the validation he'd desperately wanted from his father, but when he'd been brought face-to-face with Byron Coulter for the first time since defecting, he chose Tris. He'd covered for her, and when forced under the normal version of the truth serum he not only lied about her divergence, he made them believe she meant nothing to him.
Under the appropriate type of truth serum that day in Candor, he admitted he still had conflicted feelings about the way the government was being run, but he expressed his loyalty to the city and his love for the young woman he'd given up his freedom to protect. His biggest regret was the way he and Tris's relationship had started, and during his open final remarks he'd made a promise to remain loyal to his city and to the woman he loved. He needed no one's approval but hers, and all he wanted was to have a life with her.
He was found guilty of conspiracy against the government, but with special circumstances due to his intel and open conversations leading to the arrest of almost every party who was willingly supporting Byron, Jeanine and Max's plans.
It was still up to the leadership council, which now consisted of Andrew Prior as Abnegation's head leader, Johanna Reyes as Amity's main representative, Cara Phelps, the new Erudite head leader, Jack Kang of Candor, and finally Harrison Grant representing as Dauntless' head leader.
"Tobias, what's going to happen to him?" Tris had asked him.
"I really don't know. Harrison had me watching him in Milwaukee and he knows that Eric had no issues while there. Eric cooperated fully with everything – he attended every meeting with Jack, he never hid any details, and he even voluntarily admitted he's divergent and needed the stronger version of the truth serum. Harrison knows he's been cooperative but is unsure of whether he trusts Eric to not try something like this again, Jack seems willing to let Dauntless decide his fate, but Johanna could be a wild card since she is who worked so closely with Milwaukee to protect the very people that Eric was seeking out. Cara is hesitant to trust anyone who worked with Jeanine, and your father… I don't know what he's going to do."
"I can imagine he's unhappy." Tris replies.
"No one in that room wanted to hear that Eric basically forced you to have sex with him in exchange for his protection." Four sighs.
"I chose to have sex with him that first day. If anyone wants to be judgmental, they can include me in it. I also chose to keep having sex with him, even though I could have gone to you for help."
"We don't have to do this, you made your decisions, and obviously he has real feelings for you. All we can do now is wait it out and see what happens." Four said.
They'd exchanged goodbyes, and Tris had cried herself to sleep.