Hi all, I was able to get this edited so we're only a day behind. I hope you enjoy and see you Wednesday.
Two days after her conversation with Four, she'd been called to testify as a character witness for Eric. They'd sent an armored car for her, and she was escorted back to Chicago with a team of heavily armed guards. Once she was in Candor, she was given the same version of the truth serum her boyfriend had endured, and she felt the burn as it made its way through her bloodstream.
She'd answered the baseline questions of her name, faction of birth, faction of choice and family members. She'd also admitted to her first encounter with Eric, her face aflame as the details of her first time being intimate with Eric were laid bare for all to hear.
She couldn't bear to meet her father's eyes.
Tris admitted to willingly continuing her arrangement with Eric, she admitted under the burn of the serum that she'd liked what they did and wanted it to continue, so she'd lied to her former boyfriend Four about Eric's interest in her.
She explained that she had once told Eric that she was done, and instead of him immediately taking her to his father or Jeanine, he'd instead left her alone and told her to run. That day, she'd sent him a message telling him she didn't want him to leave, and a few days later is when everything came tumbling down.
Tris had even offered to turn herself in to save Eric, and he had refused. Eric had risked it all to sneak her and her friends out of the city, and he had chosen to do so because he loved her.
When she was asked why he should be spared the same punishment as his peers, she'd once again cited his change of heart. Without him, the war would have started, and their city would have been devastated. He'd never once tried to run even when he knew his days were numbered. He'd chosen her, repeatedly, and she knew if he was given the chance he would continue to show that he was a changed man.
She wanted a future with him, they'd talked about getting married or having children down the line, and she knew if he was allowed to come home with her they'd one day have both.
"He's chosen me, every day since the day he'd discovered my divergence, and if you let him walk out of this faction he'll continue to choose me. Eric will never be the person he was under the influence of his former leader, his father and a mad woman." Tris told the packed courtroom in a watery voice, with tears flowing down her face.
She watched as her father approached the podium, and she involuntarily shuddered.
"Had you never used your body to bargain with that man, what do you think would have happened?" Andrew asked his daughter.
She couldn't fight the serum, and when she opened her mouth all of the doubts she'd had come tumbling out, "I think he would have followed Jeanine, Max and Byron. He had no one in his life that cared enough to stop him, and even though he made the decision to change, he never would have if we hadn't of fallen in love."
"You're eighteen years old. He's twenty. Do you honestly think this will be a fairy tale ending?" Andrew spat.
"I don't need a fairy tale, I just need him." Tris pleaded.
Andrew just shook his head and walked away.
The council voted, and everyone except for Andrew voted to strip him of his leadership, put him on a long-term probation and return him to Dauntless. Andrew, as the city's head leader, vetoed the majority vote and ordered Eric to be memory wiped.
"Had he not had his change of heart, he'd be executed. This is all the leniency I am willing to give him." Andrew had said as his final words.
Tris was devastated, and nothing could seem to calm her. She had been slipping further and further into a depression, stuck in the city of Milwaukee without the man she loved. Their group had remained in Milwaukee, waiting to ensure that the divergent would no longer be in danger, and a few weeks later when Jack Kang had declared the matter closed, their group had returned to the city. Amar and George had decided to remain in Milwaukee long enough to tie up loose ends, and then they would join their family back in the city they loved.
Chicago didn't feel like home anymore. Even though their eyes had been opened to what their city actually was, they'd still made the decision to return once it was deemed safe to do so. They still operated with a faction system, but they no longer followed the strict rules the founders had created after the Great War. The leadership team was more cohesive and worked together instead of against the other city leaders. There were cross faction leadership meetings, and many of the antiquated laws had been stricken.
Tris finished her initiation without issue, all of the time she'd spent training with Eric had helped her immensely, and with Peter Haye's help when she'd returned to Chicago, it made going through the final testing a breeze for her. She could reassemble a gun within minutes, she was an accurate shot, she could throw knives, spar and her fear sims were simple with the rules Eric had given her.
She got her own apartment, and it was furnished with the things they'd moved out of Eric's apartment and allowed her to keep. The couch they'd spent countless hours lounging on, the bed they spent their nights and even his gym equipment was now in her place. Where his apartment had looked sparse and sterile, in her smaller place it felt perfect. She'd even had his clothes saved, and the baggy sweats she'd often borrowed were now hers.
She was assigned to the control room, where she could work overnight and sleep most of the day and avoid seeing anyone. She loved her friends, but seeing the happy couples all around her just made her miss Eric, even if their relationship had started off terribly.
"I feel like we never see each other anymore." Christina says over a rare dinner in the cafeteria together.
"We do have the worst schedules. Maybe once we have a new initiate class we'll get off of the shit shifts." Tris remarked and Christina nods her head.
"I never thought I'd say I missed Milwaukee, but at least we had cool jobs." She replied.
Tris stirred her soup in the bowl, thinking about Milwaukee, missing him. She and Eric did not have a healthy start to their relationship, something she'd come to terms with through therapy once she'd been back in Chicago. However, with that same therapy, she'd realized that she did truly love him, and that she believed him when he'd said he loved her too.
She still loved him.
He was a man of few words, but the conversations they did have showed how much he was changing. She wished that she could have met him earlier, before his father, Jeanine and Max had destroyed the man he was capable of being.
She missed him every day.
"I miss it too." She says sadly.
"You miss him too, don't you?" Christina asks gently and Tris nods.
"I do. He'd changed, he wanted to be a better man, I wish they could have known the side of him that I was seeing." Tris replies.
Christina never knew what to say to her friend, she found that listening to her and picking up on the tiny clues she'd let out every once in a while, was the best thing she could do. Lauren had thought that maybe getting Tris out in social situations where she could take her mind off of things, and possibly meet someone could help with the funk she'd been in for the entire four months they'd been back. Tris would come out every so often, but she'd simply sip on her drink and watch everyone, and every once in a while, Peter would join them to make Tris feel less like the odd one out.
Christina had to leave for work, but Lauren had dropped down in her place, sitting across from Tris. She passed a piece of cake over to her, and Tris smiled at her friend. She and Lauren hadn't had the greatest start to a friendship, with the weird energy still between her and Tobias, but once Lauren had a serious conversation with both Tris, and then her boyfriend, she realized the two of them had a connection, but only as friends. Four and Lauren's love was true, and they were now engaged to be married.
"They didn't have cake when I was up there!" Tris exclaimed.
"They were just putting it out." Lauren smiled in response, "It's good to see you out and about, we've missed you."
"I do miss everyone too, but sometimes..." she trails off.
"It's hard to see everyone happy and moving on." Lauren finishes for her and Tris nods, "You can talk to me about him. I knew him a long time, and there's no judgment here. I remember a time when he was just a regular, shy kid."
"I miss him. I'm angry at him. I also still love him. It's stupid, because they wipe the prisoners and the people who are left behind are the ones who are punished. He gets memories implanted and a whole new life, and I get to miss him every day."
Lauren grabbed her hand across the table and squeezed it, "You're absolutely entitled to that anger. He may have tried to turn it around, but he didn't try hard enough when it mattered."
"Lauren, you'd known him since Erudite, do you think he actually loved me?" Tris asks.
The Eric that Lauren knew was once decent, even if they weren't the best of friends they'd known each other an incredibly long time, and back in Erudite he was a quiet and even nerdy kid who seemed eager to please his overbearing parents. She didn't know him very well back in their home faction, but she knew him well enough that she wasn't surprised when he'd also chosen Dauntless. They'd become much closer while in their initiation class, and even Four was a part of their tight circle.
Then, everything had changed.
Four being offered leadership, along with Eric only getting an offer after the mysterious sudden death of another leader started what almost seemed like a domino effect. Suddenly, the second place transfer that Max wanted nothing to do with was all he could see. They'd work together in secret, hours after normal business was finished for the day, and Eric became more and more withdrawn. He'd never had a relationship that she'd seen, outside of maybe a few women he'd hookup with, and he was typically alone.
No one knew when he'd started this thing with Tris, and now everyone knew it started as Eric giving her a choice between fucking him or her life. Much like the rest of her friends, Lauren was disgusted at hearing how Eric had once treated her, but after many conversations with Tris she'd learned that not only was everything they'd ever done consensual, it was also something that they'd both wanted after that first time.
The Eric that Lauren saw that day they'd been summoned to that hidden cabin was different, he was finally ready to make decisions that would change the outcome of the rest of his life, hopefully for the better. While their group was admittedly concerned about the strange relationship between Eric and Tris, Lauren knew that Eric had finally found something that mattered more than any of the power he'd been promised.
He'd found love.
"Yes, Eric absolutely loved you." Lauren answered and Tris had simply nodded her head, "Four's out of the faction, it'll be a late night for him, why don't you come back with me? We can watch movies and eat all of the ice cream I hide from him in the freezer."
Tris nods, "That sounds good."
Lauren had gotten Tori and Christina to come by too, and they ate ice cream and Christina once again used her amazing manicure talents on Tris's nails.
For at least one night, she felt normal again.
A few weeks later, Peter's extended assignment out of the faction for his security team leadership training was finally over, and he'd immediately reached out to Tris. They'd not really talked much when she was in initiation with him, he was someone she had hooked up with after her breakup with Tobias and she had been too involved with Eric to actually have many friends outside of her small circle, however he was surprisingly supportive when she'd finally gotten back to Chicago. Peter had helped her train to pass her initiation, and somewhere along the way they'd become good friends.
"I didn't know you were back." Tris smiled at him.
"I actually finished my training assignment a little early, so I thought we could catch up." He grinned at her.
Peter's friendship was unexpected, but it was also very much appreciated as she tried to navigate a life back in Dauntless without Eric. It confused her circle of friends at first, but much like Eric they'd eventually accepted Peter as a part of the group, and Christina was the first to tell Tris that Peter wanted more than friendship with Tris.
She never believed it, until Peter became the first brave soul to make a move on Eric Coulter's ex-girlfriend.
His move was incredibly respectful too, it was a conversation in which he told Tris that he felt something more than friendship for her, and if she would be interested he'd like to pursue it. It had been several years since they'd had a physical relationship while both in upper levels of school, but he'd not forgotten the connection they'd had outside of the physical part, and he wanted to explore it. She was honest with him regarding her feelings and concerns, which were that she was still in love with Eric, and that she didn't expect anyone to wait for her to find a way to move on.
Peter was okay with all of it, and they'd slowly just become closer. He was usually around when they had time off together, and he was content spending time with her and being there for her until she could feel comfortable moving on.
Peter had wanted more with Tris, and as much as she wanted to forget Eric the way she knew he had forgotten her, she couldn't. She knew it was ridiculous to hold on to him, but she did, and if Peter was frustrated with her he never once showed it. He was there for Tris for the good days, and even the days where she would beat herself up for ever getting involved with Eric.
Peter's patience had paid off, because one night when the two were at his apartment, hanging out and watching movies together, they'd finally crossed the lines from friendship to something more when they'd shared several kisses on his couch, and then snuggled in for another movie.
He'd arranged to take her on a real date, taking Tris out of the faction for dinner and dessert at one of the restaurants in Candor he had fond memories of. They'd walked around Candor hand-in-hand, with Peter showing her where he'd grown up, and Tris found herself enjoying being the teenager she still was for a moment.
Their friends had gotten used to seeing Tris and Peter holding hands as they walked around the faction, or sharing kisses when they'd join them on a night out. Their relationship has been slow, dating for a little over three months now, and they'd just recently become intimate again.
Tris still loved Eric, and Peter knew it. He promised to respect Eric's place in her heart, and to continue to give her the time she needed to completely heal.
Tris was lonely, and as much as she missed Eric she knew she'd never be with him again, and it made her decision easier to become intimate with Peter again. It was no longer just sex and hooking up, it was a step towards moving on with a man who was willing to be whatever she needed while she found herself again.
It was more than Tris could have ever asked for.
Things were slowly falling into place again, and Tris and Peter had become closer than ever. He was on another short assignment out of the faction, and she found herself missing his warm body next to hers when she went to sleep and woke up. They hadn't moved in together, but their relationship was beginning to get more serious, and she could finally imagine taking that next step with him.
"I can't believe they sent Peter and Uriah out in this shit weather." Christina had complained when she dropped at the table that Lauren, Tori and Tris were sitting at.
"Bud's out in it too. I think Four's due back tonight, isn't he Lauren?" Tori asked.
Lauren nods, "He is. They're trying to get as many of the troops who were just out on maneuvers or assignments back before it gets really bad. Tonight, it is going to freeze, and then we're going to really get the snow dump."
A text alert on her phone draws Tris's attention and she reads the message from her boyfriend, "Bad news for us, Chris, Harrison ordered their team to bunker down in one of the outbuildings since they're outside of Abnegation. He's not bringing them in since it's so bad." She sends a reply, also asking about Bud's team and his response is positive, "Tor, it looks like Bud and his team are on their way back in."
Tris continues texting with Peter and Christina nudges her leg with hers, "You can stay with me while they're gone if you want."
Tris nods, "That sounds good to me."
They continue their lunch and Tris receives another alert that she has new mail waiting in her physical mailbox down in the mail room, and she smiles.
"Maybe they wrote back," She shows her friends the alert on her phone, "I've been writing them weekly since being back."
"That would be wonderful," Lauren smiles at her friend.
"I never could understand why they'd just ignore you." Christina sighs and Tori nods her head.
"Yeah, with faction before blood abolished, they finally have a chance to see you again, and this?" Tori asks.
"They weren't happy with me becoming involved with Eric." Tris admits.
"I don't think anyone was to be honest." Christina says and Tris sighs, "I know in the end he did the right thing, but Tris what came out during his testimony was hard for anyone to hear, I can imagine it was especially hard for your parents to hear that he'd practically forced you to have sex with him."
"Christina," Lauren admonishes but Tori puts a hand up.
"She's not wrong." Tori replies.
"No, she's not," Tris finally admits out loud, "That first day, I made a decision to have sex with Eric to buy myself time. I'm not proud of it, and neither was he. Contrary to what any of you believes, he felt terrible about it and told me he did when we were in Milwaukee. He'd never done that before, I mean sexual favors for protection, and he'd apologized for it. You all have to understand that I made a choice too."
"You don't have to justify it to us, we know he had changed." Christina says.
"I know that I don't, but you three are my best friends and I want to share some of what made me fall so hard for him. It was never Stockholm syndrome, and as dirty as this sounds I liked what we did that first day. I am the one who chose to continue it, I'm also the one who begged him to come back to me when I told him I was done. He was complicated, I won't argue that, but he was trying so hard to change."
Lauren sets her fork down and looks at Tris, "Four told me that they talked a lot while Eric was in Candor, and Four believes in his sincerity. Eric had finally found his way."
"It was just too late." Tris replied.
The subject changes and Tris is thankful, but she's still deep in thought even though she continues to participate in the conversation. Her friends have been wonderful and supportive, but she knows they all think she's ridiculous for holding on to Eric's memory for so long. They're not wrong, because Peter has been a wonderful partner, and at this point they've been together longer than she and Eric ever were, but there's something about the connection they'd shared that makes it hard to just forget him.
She's excited about the possibility of finally hearing from her parents.
The last time she'd had a conversation with her father was when she was in Milwaukee, and it was a tension filled one. It was before Eric's testimony, when her father's main issue with him was the common knowledge that he had willingly participated in planning an overthrow of the government his faction had run for as long as their city existed. Andrew Prior couldn't fathom how his daughter could involve herself with someone so vile and cold.
"Are you okay? We lost you again." Christina says quietly and Tris shakes her head.
"I want to check my mail. If it's a letter from my parents, I'm ready to read it."
Her mind is racing as she makes the long walk to the mailroom. She'd written weekly letters to her parents, practically begging them to understand her choices when it came to Eric, but it had been months of silence from them. She was excited when she found an envelope with her name and address printed on it in neat handwriting, and she ripped it open hopeful that it was her parents finally replying to her pleas.
It wasn't a reply, it was one tiny scrap of paper with a set of coordinates written on it. Her hands trembled as she repeated the numbers in her head, trying to understand what any of it meant. She'd sent two texts, one to her boss in the Control Room telling her she was ill and needed the rest of her shift off, and another to Christina cancelling their plans for the evening, using the same excuse. She hated lying to the people in her life, but she needed time to figure out this mysterious note.
Especially once she realizes she recognizes the coordinates.
She jumped on the train like she has so many times before, and she pulls the door closed to keep the wind and snow out. It's been getting colder and colder, and the snow that's been falling for days has turned into a full-blown storm. She knows she's taking a huge risk leaving under these conditions, and she watches the city fly by through the foggy windows of the train.
When she approaches the woods, she checks her GPS on her phone and steels herself for the walk in. It's freezing, and she left directly from work in just the sweat suit of Eric's she often wore in the cold server room. With no jacket or protection from the elements, and she is just so cold.
She finally reaches her destination, and she approaches the door, knocking three times, twice, and waiting for any sign of life.
There's no answer.
She checks all of the windows and doors, finding everything completely locked, and the windows too foggy to see inside. The only footprints she can see are her own, and she realizes someone has played a cruel joke on her.
She sits on the snow-covered porch and cries.
Her phone rings and when she sees Christina's face on the display she sends it to voicemail, knowing that if she heard her like this it would worry her. Tris then gets a text from Christina, asking if she's okay, and asking her to call when she can.
She's not okay.
She came out to the same cabin that Eric had hidden her in, a place that no one other than he and a handful of their friends even knew about. None of their friends would do this to her, so the only thing she can think is that somehow the location of this cabin came out in his trial, and someone decided to hurt her one more time on his behalf.
"I should hate you Eric." She says loudly, "I should be so fucking angry, and that anger should keep me from ever wanting any fucking thing to do with you! It's been over a year, and I still drop everything to run to you."
Her breath is coming out in puffs, and she shivers again because of the cold weather, "Whoever this is, I'm tired. I'm tired of loving him, and I'm tired of not being able to completely get on with my life. I have someone now, someone who cares about me and who has given me the time and space I need to process everything that happened with Eric. Whoever you are, whoever thought it would be hilarious to lure me out to this fucking place, you can go to hell. The joke is over, and I'm going home."
She stands up and brushes the snow off of herself, and she begins to walk back towards the train. The snow is falling harder, making it hard to see much of anything, and she shivers hard against the wind that is now whipping around her.
She tries to keep moving, but her limbs are entirely too heavy, and she can't seem to get her feet to move. She trips and falls into the snow, and suddenly she's just so tired. The cold is making it hard to feel her hands or feet, and all she wants to do is give up.
She can see Peter running towards her and hear him calling her name as everything goes dark.